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When Sam convinced him to settle down and move to Moonlight Falls, this isn’t what Dean had in mind for how he’d be spending his retirement.“Fresh start, my ass. You blew all of our savings on fairy potion?!”Sam shrugs and smiles way more devilishly than Dean is comfortable with, the little bitch. He has wings now, great neon monstrosities that freakin’ sparkle wispily from his back and that kind of match the green in his eyes. Of course, Sammy’s eyes stopped changing colors much as soon as they first stepped foot in this godforsaken town. A lot of things are different here, like how everything looks somehow vaguely cartoonish and how the existence of vampires, werewolves, witches, and fairies goes without question among the locals.“But fairy magic means I can play pranks on people,” says Sam matter-of-factly. “I already rigged all the toilets to blow at one of my clients’ houses today. And I actually bought it cheaper than retail price at Aleister’s.”Dean’s jaw drops in horror. “You contacted Alistair—”“Not Alistair! Aleister’s Elixirs and Spirits. I’m not exactly sure who Aleister is because the shop doesn’t appear to have an owner, but there’s a homeless woman who works the register, and she’s very nice. She was really cool about letting me hex her toilet at the store.”“People are going to stop hiring you when they figure out their private investigator is defacing their homes.”“You know, I don’t think they’ll stop. Calls started coming in as soon as I registered as self-employed, from people I’d never even heard of before. It’s like magic or something!”“Or something,” Dean grumbles. If they were still hunting, Moonlight Falls probably would have jumped to the top of their radar as a potential case—witchcraft, or maybe hoodoo—and he’s fairly certain that half the town is overrun by weird offshoot species of vampires and werewolves. Instead, Sammy’s freelancing as a P.I. (which apparently means stealing people’s trash and jinxing their plumbing) and has apparently merrily joined in with whatever bullshit supernatural phenomena have taken hold of this town, and Dean, instead of looking into his creep-ass neighbors, ends up spending all his time upgrading the engines on the trucks at the fire station and responding to “emergencies” that mostly involve clearing people’s properties of gnomes. “Sam, fairies abducted me. They kill and kidnap and probe with their tiny little… probes… and you’re just gonna wash your hands of all that so you can—screw with some indoor plumbing?”“I can also put curses on mailboxes,” Sam confirms, “and make plants bloom faster, and these wings make me feel pretty.”Dean gawks at him. Six weeks ago, Sammy wouldn’t have been caught dead boasting about growing a pair of dubious pretty-princess wings. But then—has it really only been six weeks since they moved to Moonlight Falls? He could swear that one of his coworkers at the fire station was a literal child when Dean first came to town.“You’re so neurotic,” Sam scolds him now, still grinning moronically. “You should take a bubble bath. It’ll make you feel much more tranquil.”And if Dean actually tries to take his advice, well, no one has to know—or, at least, that’s what he tells himself until the bathtub starts to not-so-inexplicably overflow and Sam barges into the bathroom after him, hooting with laughter, the freakin’ fairy bitch.

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