Archive of Our Own

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Music thrummed throughout the club; the bass reverberating effortlessly from the center of one's chest to the soles of their feet if they stood anywhere near the oddly desolate dance floor. Everything beneath the high ceiling tinted in various shades of blue for the moment, the color shifting every few minutes to a new hue, courtesy of the club's lighting. In contrast, several spotlights moved and flashed in different colors across the dance floor, each shift matching the beat of whatever song blared from the unseen speakers scattered throughout the large building.

Allen was fairly sure that this was the emptiest he'd ever seen the place–during business hours, at least. Granted, he didn't exactly make a habit of coming here, despite the place being owned by two members of his own family. He wasn't the partying type. Thus the reason he rarely stepped foot into such places unless he was accompanied by his friends or the twins dragged him along on one of their near-nightly visits.

There was still a decent crowd he supposed, but it seemed a far cry from the packed house he had grown accustomed to from previous visits, even if the night was still young. Groups of friends smiling and laughing occupied a few of the booths, some occasionally making an improvised dance move in their seat when a certain beat filled the air. Several others occupied themselves on the dance floor; though the meager crowd moving about beneath shifting lights was nowhere near as intense as the throng of writhing bodies Allen was used to.

Then there was the area that Allen occupied; the bar set up at the back wall, beyond the large dance floor. Multiple stools sat around the large slab of dark, well-polished granite that made up the bar's top, most of them empty aside from the one he'd claimed for himself. It was always one of the emptiest places in Noah's Ark, most patrons choosing to go to the larger bar closer to the club's entrance. Thus the reason he'd made his way there the instant he stepped foot inside, having no desire for chatter or the crowd of people vying for drinks he knew would only become more prominent as the night wore on.

A deep sigh passed his lips before he took a large swig from the drink in his hand, unable to help the cringe that contorted his features as the liquid burned its way down his throat. He hadn't been at the club for too long now, but the exact time was one thing he couldn't quite recall. However, that could have had to do with him not even caring to keep track of such trivial things at the moment.

The only thing he could bring himself to truly care about right now was the glass he held and the strong desire he hoped it would help him accomplish.

Ever since he'd left the mansion, he had wanted nothing more than to forget the event that had taken place there just a few hours prior. That was the only reason he found himself here – in a place he would likely never visit on his own, fully intent on drinking more than his share of a substance that would typically make him want to do nothing more than gag.

He had always hated even the smell of alcohol and the taste wasn't any better. But in the state of mind, he currently found himself in, neither mattered as much as they usually would have, both barely even registering. He was too determined to drink away the memory—or, at the least, forget the feelings and thoughts that festered inside of his head and heart each time it crossed his mind.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working anywhere near as well as he'd hoped.

Instead, each drink only provided a new pain as it burned its way down his throat, the sensation almost making him shiver. He wasn't even sure how much glassed he'd drained by now; only that it was more than a couple. And yet, his mind was still far too clear and coherent for his liking, making it nearly impossible for him to completely brush his train of thought from the destructive rails it kept returning to.

No matter how much he wished he could simply ignore it all, it did no good. He couldn't stop himself from feeling he'd been made the fool, even with the little voice in his head asking him how he could have known. It was a question that had sprung to his mind multiple times, and once he found he had no answer, regardless of how much he wracked his brain in search of one.

As open as he usually was, Lavi had always been hard to read when he didn't want to be. He was a master at hiding things, especially how he felt; it was one thing that the two of them had always had in common. Maybe that was why Allen had always accepted it so easily; why he hadn't minded it anywhere near as much as he'd always thought he probably should have. He had chosen instead to trust in Lavi, to believe the ginger would tell him if there was something he should know or if something was weighing too heavily on his mind.

But without Lavi allowing it to show or voicing the thought, how was he to know beneath it all, there had been something like this festering within Lavi's mind?

Another sigh passed between his lips and he took another drink, draining what little remained in his glass without so much as a second thought. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he set the now empty glass on the counter, gesturing for the bartender to get him another almost as soon as the glass hit the granite.

The bartender—Eliade, he believed was her name— eyed him for a moment, before moving to do just that. As he watched her retrieve the bottle of amber-hued liquid, Allen couldn't help but wonder vaguely how much he'd had thus far to warrant even that beat of hesitation.

"Allen?"

Allen jolted in his seat at the sound of his name; that achingly familiar voice registering almost instantly and filling him with a sense of dread. Any other time, he no doubt would have been happy to see the voice's owner, but that was far from the case now. Instead, he silently cursed his lousy luck as he turned towards the familiar young woman, a false smile forming on his lips with practiced ease.

Silken locks were tied in twin pigtails, the dark strands hanging just a few inches past her shoulders. She wore a red sweater dress, a dark belt standing stark against the crimson yarn at her waist, matching her heeled ankle boots. Her warm violet-hued eyes were locked on him, the softest of smiles making its way to her lips.

“Oh, hello Lenalee,” He greeted pleasantly, careful not to allow any sign of his current mood to show through in his tone. “I wasn't expecting to see you here.”
 
“You weren't?” Mild surprise colored her seemingly delicate features, brow furrowing ever so slightly. “I told Lavi we'd be coming. Didn't he tell you? I asked him to invite you along too...”

“Oh, well...” Allen began, trailing off on the faintest of chuckles as he resisted the urge to take yet another scalding sip as the bartender placed his new drink before him. “Lavi and I had... other things to discuss today.”

“So,” he began, perhaps too quickly, hoping it might prevent the girl from commenting. “you said 'we'. Who're you here with?”

Her features tugged into a faint frown, worry clear in her dark eyes, and in an instant Allen felt a sense of guilt stirring to life within his chest. There were few things Allen hated more than making others worry and that was especially true with Lenalee. She was an amazing girl with a kind heart who genuinely loved every one of her friends and those she considered family. But, because of that, she worried so much about their happiness and it affected her so deeply when they were hurt. Just the thought of causing her that was enough to make Allen feel guilty.

Allen expected her to push, to press, and ask him what was wrong, his mind already reeling as he tried to think of some way to throw her off if she did. But, there must have been something in his expression that made her choose not to because instead of an inquiry or demand, the next thing to leave her lips was an answer to his inquiry. “I'm here with Kanda and Rh-”

"Allen!"

Allen didn't even have time to turn towards the familiar cry before two deceptively thin arms were wrapping themselves around his neck, almost too tight to be considered safe.

"Rhode-!" Allen gasped in surprise, arms coming up to try to pry the younger's arms from around his neck, her grasp only tightening to an almost suffocating degree. A giggle sounded near his ear, her head coming to rest against his own.

"You should let go or you're going to lose your toy." Yet another familiar voice sounded, the seemingly ever-present note of exasperation seeming even more prevalent than usual to Allen's ears.

Craning his neck and struggling a bit to turn in Rhode's hold, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see a familiar dark-haired male approaching, and that was all he needed to feel a small spark of agitation forming.

Kanda only paused once he stood beside them, his dark eyes staring down at the two while his arms crossed over his chest. Allen caught the sight of Rhode's pout from the corner of his eye, as well as the way her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as they turned on the raven. "What makes you say that, Kanda?"

Kanda's expression didn't change, remaining set in a cold mask of unimpressed indifference despite the deceptively innocent tone Rhode's voice held. "Maybe the fact that you're strangling him?"

Rhode's pout deepened, but thankfully she at least seemed to be considering the pros and cons of releasing her beloved cousin. After a moment, Allen took a deep breath, letting it out on a sigh of relief as her arms withdrew, allowing the life-giving oxygen to once again enter his lungs unhindered.

"Next time," Allen began, shifting his gaze to Lenalee and allowing a somewhat teasing smile to come at his lips. "Say Rhode first?"

Lenalee gave a small laugh, an apologetic smile curving her lips. “I'll be sure to keep that in mind.”

He chuckled the song that had been blaring came to its end, a new one coming on over the speakers to take its place. A gasp drew his attention back to Rhode, just in time to see a bright smile come to the teen's lips.

“I love this song,” She exclaimed, one of her hands simultaneously reaching out to grab a hold of Allen's arm. “C'mon, Allen! Come and dance with me!”

Allen hesitated a moment, struggling slightly not to be dragged along by the younger as his free hand came up, rubbing lightly at the back of his neck. “Sorry, I'm not really in a dancing mood tonight, Rhode...”

Allen instantly felt a spark of guilt as Rhode's pout returned, lips parting to no doubt beg Allen to come and dance, but before a word so much as began to leave her moth, Lenalee interjected.

“I can dance with you if you want, Rhode.”

Turning her dark gaze on Lenalee, Rhode seemed to consider the offer for a moment before a smile slowly curved her lips. “Alright.” She chimed, releasing Allen's arm to instead grab hold of Lenalee's hand.

Allen flashed Lenalee a grateful smile though he couldn't be completely sure whether she saw it as she was pulled along. Rhode was already moving towards the dance floor, causing the older girl to stumble slightly.

Allen gave a small huff, mild amusement lacing the sound as he watched the pair meld into the throng of writhing bodies already shifting along to the beat of the music. He watched for a few brief moments before turning back to the bar and his untouched drink. With them gone, thankfully that meant he could continue his sobriety's decent without having to worry too much about Lenalee worrying, or it getting back to anyone else in his family. Though, he had to wonder how long Lenalee'd be able to keep Rhode distracted.

Reaching for his glass, he took a large swig, downing nearly half the glass in that single drink

“I thought you hated alcohol.”

The deep voice as familiar to him as Lenalee's own made him jump, his glass hitting the bar top with more force than he intended and sending some of the liquid within sloshing out over the side. His gaze snapped to the side, watching as Kanda took a seat on the barstool right next to his own.

“What are you still doing here?” Allen asked, a furrow forming on his brow. It was no secret that Kanda wasn't the type that would usually hang out at a club. Nor was it a secret that he and Allen had never exactly gotten along.

With Lenalee and Rhode no longer there to keep him there as Allen was sure they had been, Allen would have thought Kanda wouldn't be able to get out of the club fast enough.

“Do I need a reason to stick around?” Kanda challenged in response, the raise of one dark brow the only shift in his usual sullen expression as his gaze came to rest on the younger male.

“No, but considering you usually prefer to stay at least five yards away from me it seems strange you'd want to.” While their little group of four hung out regularly, he couldn't remember the last time it had been just he and Kanda left alone together. And the times he could remember had usually resulted in some sort of ridiculous brawl.

No one understood why. Even Allen was at a loss for why he and Kanda had developed such an intense dislike for one another. He usually got along with pretty much everyone, a talent that came in handy among his family, but Kanda had always been an exception. Ever since they met back in junior high it had been that way, and he didn't see that changing anytime soon.

“Don't flatter yourself,” Kanda scoffed, turning his attention to the bartender as she set Kanda's drink in front of him. “I just need a drink to make this fucking noise bearable.”

Allen's only response was to roll his eyes, finding that, for once, he was in no mood to play their usual games of back and forth. Instead, his attention once again focused on his drink, the glass once again being lifted to his lips and the contents emptied down his throat.

Lowering it again, he waited for the bartender to turn her gaze on him before gesturing for another with a charming smile. He noticed her frown, but the expression didn't surprise him too much. How many drinks had he had by now? He wasn't even sure, but he was sure it was enough to have drunk most people under a table.

If only it had done that for him, but no, Allen could only feel the beginnings of a buzz and that was nowhere near enough. He wanted to be dead drunk, but he had a feeling he'd probably be cut off before that happened thanks to his unnaturally high tolerance and metabolism.

He wasn't yet, however, and she wasted little time before placing another drink in front of the snowy-haired male. She gave a small nod in response to his thanks before moving on to another customer.

He was vaguely aware of Kanda watching him as he took a sip of his drink before downing a much larger gulp. With Kanda's eyes on him, he did his best not to react in the slightest as it burned its way down. The last thing he wanted was to give Kanda any reason to mess with him for not being able to handle his liqueur.

“Just how many of those have you had?” Kanda inquired, and Allen wasn't sure if the tone in his voice was disgust or disbelief.

A shrug rolled off of Allen's shoulders, silver eyes not so much much as flickering in the other's direction. “Lost count.”

Silence once again fell between the two – or, at the very least the closest thing to silence they could get with the sounds of the music and clubbers permeating the air. It remained so for several moments, Allen staring down at his drink before finally lifting it to his lips to down the rest.

“Alright,” Kanda said, his voice bordering on some strange line between a sigh and a growl that only he could pull off. Allen turned his gaze on Kanda, curiosity showing in the silvery hues when he noted that the other was no longer facing the bar. Instead, he was now facing Allen, a scrutinizing gaze locked firmly on him in a way that never failed to make him feel as though Kanda could see right through even his most flawless facade. “What the fuck's wrong, Beansprout?”

Surprise momentarily crossed the younger's features, but it lasted for but a moment before he wiped it away. Instead, Allen frowned, trying to force his expression into one of confusion-something that proved quite easy, thanks no doubt to the genuine confusion at why Kanda was even asking that in the first place. It wasn't as though Kanda gave a damn about him – Kanda didn't give much of a damn about anyone, so why would he even bother?

Kanda's eyes narrowed in what Allen assumed to be a silent warning, the other no doubt already seeing through his carefully constructed mask. Allen had never taken Kanda's warnings before though, and he vaguely wondered if Kanda actually thought he would start now.

If he did, he was an even bigger BaKanda than Allen had thought.

“What makes you think something's wrong?” Allen inquired, brow furrowing faintly.

Kanda clicked his tongue, annoyance showing clearly on his features as Allen did exactly what Kanda's gaze had warned him against. “Don't try to play fine with me, short stack. I know how much you hate alcohol.”

Allen gave a quiet huff of his own, lips pursing together at the use of yet another of Kanda's accursed nicknames for him. “Yeah, and? Why does that make a difference to you? Are you drunk already or something?”

“Why the hell are you asking that?” Kanda asked, traces of his usual scowl coming to his features.

“Maybe because you're asking what's wrong,” Allen stated, a shrug rolling off of his shoulders. “And last I checked you couldn't care much less about my personal problems so I figure you'd have to be drunk if you're asking that.” He marked a pause, seeming to consider for a moment, “We'll, that or you found out you're terminally ill and decided to do one good deed before you croak."

“Ya know what, Beansprout? Fuck you,” Kanda growled, and the glare he leveled on Allen was one that had made many a mortal shy away from the dark-haired. It had never worked on Allen though, and that was a fact they were both well aware of. “That's the last time I try being

nice

to your annoying ass.”

Allen almost felt a touch of guilt at that response. He found himself wondering for a moment if Kanda really was trying to be nice for a change or if the question had been asked out of genuine concern, as strange as that thought may have been. “Trying to be nice really doesn't suit you, Kanda.”

The strength of Kanda's glare only grew. “You are so lucky I don't have my sword, you little shit.”

"Oh?” Allen inquired, turning his gaze away from the taller male to instead stare at his glass as he swirled the liquid about in the glass. This was heading in a

very

familiar direction, and though Allen had wanted to avoid their usual banter he supposed he should have known that that was likely an impossibility. “And why's that, BaKanda?"

"Because if I did, I'd finally make good on my promise to cut you up," The dark-haired paused for a moment, and Allen just caught the shadow of a smirk from the corner of his eye. “Or maybe I'd just chop off all that freakish white hair of yours."

Allen couldn't help the half-amused huff that sounded low in his throat. It seemed he was right about where their conversation had been heading.

"Then I'd just have to cut off that precious ponytail of yours for revenge," Allen replied, turning his gaze back on Kanda and he couldn't quite help the way his lips quirked upwards into the faintest of smiles. “Wouldn't want that would you? After how long it took to grow back last time?”

Allen could tell by the way Kanda's jaw clenched that he'd hit at least a small nerve with that one, just as he knew he would. It was almost entertaining how Kanda could still get so bent out of shape, even after four years had passed. Lavi had gotten drunk and, presumably inspired by Allen and Kanda's banter, had wound up thinking it might be a good idea to make good on Allen's threats.

No one was sure what had been going on in Lavi's head at the time, people rarely were, but most of their friends couldn't help but think Lavi had intended to frame Allen for the crime to gain a laugh or two at his and Kanda's expense.

Unfortunately for Lavi however, Kanda hadn't been as drunk as Lavi had, and as soon as those scissors closed near the top of his hair tie, the dark-haired had turned on Lavi quicker than a flash.

Allen had been pretty sure at the time that Kanda would actually kill Lavi, but of course, he hadn't. Though, Allen still wasn't quite sure whether Kanda had been angry about his hair, or if he'd been telling the truth when he said he was just pissed that Lavi had pulled that sort of shitty stunt when his guard was down.

“At least I don't bleach my fucking hair,” Kanda grumbled, taking a drink from his glass. “Keep that up and you'll go bald without my help.”

“I do not bleach my hair.” Allen couldn't help the note of indignation that crept into his voice, despite how much satisfaction Kanda would no doubt take from it. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Tell me as many times as you want. It won't make me believe you, Moyashi.”

“It's Allen, BaKanda. How about you get it right for once in your life?”

"Maybe I'll consider it if you grow a few inches."

Allen's eyes narrowed, the silvery glare that settled on Kanda one that almost rivaled his own. "You're a real jerk, ya know that?"

"You may have told me that once or twice.” Kanda's voice was casual, a shrug rolling off his shoulders before he downed the rest of his bourbon. Rather than gesture for another, he pushed his glass aside. One elbow rested atop the bar, his head coming to rest in his palm. Dark blue eyes remained on Allen, the younger male's glare slowly fading from his features as Kanda stared at him.

“What?” He finally asked, trying not to shift in discomfort under the piercing gaze of the older male.

“You gonna tell me what the fuck happened or not?"

A slight frown contorted his features, and he turned his gaze back to the bar and the glass resting atop the polished counter. "Depends,” He finally stated, a sigh escaping his lips. “Do you really wanna know?"

"Would I ask if I didn't?”

Allen supposed Kanda had a point there. He wasn't the type to ask questions if he didn't want an answer – at least, not in situations like these. “What makes you think there's something wrong, anyway?”

“It's kind of obvious, sprout.” Kanda scoffed, dark eyes rolling. “You hate even the smell of alcohol, let alone the damn taste. Even at parties you never touch the stuff unless someone makes you, and even then it's only a couple of sips. Then you ditch the rest when you think no one's looking.” he paused, just long enough to give an unamused huff. “And yet here you are drinking enough that you've lost count. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to tell there's something on your mind.”

That explanation, though accurate, still managed to surprise the snowy-haired male. He knew Kanda was observant, that it was more than just a little difficult to slip something by the other male. However, he had never thought Kanda would pay close enough attention to notice that much in regards to anything involved with Allen, let alone anything so seemingly insignificant.

Allen sighed softly, gaze remaining locked on the bar as he spoke. “Lavi and I broke up.”

He received no immediate from Kanda, and after a moment had passed without the other speaking a word, Allen chanced a glance at him out of the corner of his eye. Surprise colored the dark-haired's features, the expression a rare one when it came to Kanda, but for once Allen took little satisfaction from it.

“You're kidding me,” Kanda stated, after a moment, a frown forming upon his brow. There was no doubt in his tone, only a positivity that typically would have left little if any, room for argument. However, that wasn't the case this time.

Allen shook his head in response. “Wish I was,” He said, turning his gaze onto his glass, hand moving to grasp and start twisting it between a thumb and index finger. “But unfortunately not.”

“The fuck?” He could hear the genuine confusion in the dark haired's voice, and he didn't have to look to know what kind of expression the other wore. “You two were fine the other day. What the hell brought that on?”

Allen didn't even try to keep the meager remains of his cheerful facade in place, eyes closing as he lifted his free hand to support his head, elbow resting atop the bar. “I thought we were too, but I guess I was wrong... I doubt this is something that just popped up overnight. I don't think that's possible with him...”

Kanda remained silent for several moments, the silence itself ringing expectantly, waiting for him to continue. Allen still didn't, however, not wanting to say the words aloud, even after he'd repeated them within his mind so many times.

“Well? What happened?” Kanda finally prompted after several moments of silence had passed. There was a distinct note of agitated impatience in his tone, the dark-haired not pleased with having to ask a second time.

Allen sighed deeply, head bowing as a hand lifted to run through his pale locks. “Lavi... he's in love with somebody else.”

“

What

?”

The note of shock that had entered the other's voice, lacing that single word with more surprise than he would have expected. It was enough to have his head sifting, gaze returning to the dark haired's form as his hand dropped from his pale locks.

The shock was equally present in his expression.

Any other time, Allen was sure he would have found the expression comical. Even now he couldn't deny that the out-of-place expression was mildly amusing, at least enough so for it to draw a faint smile to his lips.

“Should I be flattered by the fact that you're so surprised?”

“I don't see why you would be,” The older male scoffed, giving a slight roll of midnight hued eyes as his expression returned to its typical scowl. “Anyone who knows you and the idiot would be, wouldn't they? Considering how fucking

happy

you two always seemed.”

Allen wasn't as surprised that Kanda's agitation seemed to spike, his tone ringing with a note of annoyance that the dark-haired hadn't held just a moment prior. It wasn't unusual for Kanda to get irritated by the mere thought of relationships, after all, and that seemed especially true when it came to his and Lavi's.

He didn't miss the calculative look that entered Kanda's eyes, though it remained for a scant moment before another look, one he had by now come to recognize as 'fuck it'. Before the words even came, Allen had a feeling he already knew what was going to be said.

“Do you know who he's in love with?”

Allen suppressed a sigh as his suspicion was confirmed. At last, his gaze moved from the dark-haired to the empty glass, before seeking out the bartender. He gestured for another drink, not missing the frown on her lips as she looked him over, seemingly trying to determine how wasted he was. Confusion colored her features as she found few signs of the alcohol he had consumed having any effect. Allen honestly expected her to deny him, but much to his relief she let out a sigh before retrieving his glass and pouring him another.

“Tyki,” He stated only after the bartender had retreated. He kept his voice deceptively calm in an attempt to at least pretend just saying it didn't make his heart give a painful lurch. He didn't give Kanda a chance to respond, before continuing to speak. “But believe it or not, it gets better than just that.”

Kanda eyed him, seeming almost cautious of where this was going. “Do I even want to know how?”

“The feeling's mutual.”

“Fuck,” Kanda swore, a faint edge to his tone as his features twitched in what Allen assumed to be a shadow of a wince. “No wonder you're drinking. I hope you told them both to fuck off.”

Allen remained silent for a few long moments, long enough that Kanda's expression turned to incredulity. But even then he didn't reply, his hand grasping his drink and lifting it to his lips, emptying half the contents down his throat with a steady burn. He winced ever so slightly as he pulled the glass away.

“You didn't, did you?” Kanda finally inquired, tone an odd mix of exasperation and irritation.

"Hardly," Allen replied with a dry chuckle, expression becoming melancholic.“Tyki said he would do anything with Lavi if I didn't want him to. That he'd stay away if I asked him to but... I couldn't do that. I... I told him to go ahead and not to worry about me.”

Kanda clicked his tongue, and for a moment Allen honestly expected the other to tell him he was an idiot, before getting up and walking away. “Least tell me you were fucking drunk when all of this went down?"

Allen couldn't help the next chuckle that escaped his lips. “If only... I was completely sober. Didn't start drinking until I got here."

Kanda gave yet another agitated huff, head shaking as he finally gestured for the bartender. "In that case, you're a bigger idiot than I thought."

"Yeah, I know," Allen murmured, downing the other half of his glass. He waited for the bartender to bring Kanda his drink before requesting another of his own. Just as before, she seemed quite reluctant, but at last, Allen had yet another drink in front of him.

Silence fell between them once again, the only sounds those of the other patrons and the thrumming beat that echoed to them from the dance floor. Neither felt the need to speak beyond that, both seeming perfectly content with letting the conversation simply end there in favor of drinking their beverages in peace.

Allen drank his own at a slower pace than most of the previous ones as, at long last, the alcohol began to take effect. It wasn't anywhere near as strong as he had hoped, rational thought still present within his skull, but it was better than it had been when he first arrived. Though what had happened still weighed on his mind, it was no longer as heavy a thought, the edge being taken off of the feelings of hurt.

A little less than half of his drink had been drained when he finally allowed his gaze to wander. The place was starting to get more crowded as time wore on, a fact that Allen hadn't been paying much attention to, up till this point. The throng of bodies writhing on the dance floor had grown, almost making it difficult to discern where one individual began and another came to an end, and more people had even made themselves comfortable at the bar, leaving only a couple of seats in the immediate vicinity empty.

Allen had a feeling he knew exactly why that was, his gaze drifting to rest on his dark-haired companion from the corner of his eye. Something about Kanda – whether it be his default scowl or the attitude he so effortlessly seemed to exude – had a way of putting people off, even without him saying anything much of the time.

Allen was quite surprised Kanda was even still there. It wasn't like the dark-haired male to hang around in this kind of place if no one was keeping him there. He made no secret of his dislike of anything loud, and his hatred for crowds was something that was typically even more prominent, matched only by the obvious disdain he held for Allen.

He watched as Kanda lifted his drink to his lips, downing the rest before placing the empty glass back down atop the bar. He rested his elbow atop the bar, staring straight ahead, an unusually thoughtful expression contorting his features, a sharp contrast to the older male's typical surly scowl.

That was an expression he had rarely seen on the other male's face, and the expression easily ignited a vague sense of curiosity. However, that seemed to fade quickly the longer Allen stared at the other's face, focus soon shifting from the other's overall expression. Instead, he soon found his attention drawn from feature to feature; the slightly furrowed brow and lips that were beginning to tug downwards, ever so slightly at the edges. The sharp jaw that would clench on occasion as if trying to process a particularly pressing thought.

But, what Allen found himself getting especially distracted by were the other dark eyes. The color was nearly impossible to distinguish in the dim lighting, seeming to shift between onyx and sapphire depending on how much light was touching the dark iris.

All in all, there was no denying Kanda was attractive. That was something that Allen had been aware of since the day they had met, but it was an exceptionally rare occasion when he would allow himself to acknowledge it. Now though, he didn't think he could deny it even if he wanted to, though the alcohol in his system had begun making it difficult for him to care.

He wanted a distraction

“The fuck are you staring at, Moyashi?” Suddenly the elder's head turned, those sharp eyes locking on Allen's own in an instant and making the white-haired jump slightly in his seat. One dark brow quirked upwards, lips tugging further downwards.

“Nothing,” Allen replied as casually as he could, silently berating himself for getting caught as he turned his gaze forward once more. He could feel Kanda's eye borrowing int him, and he hoped the faint hue he could feel dusting across his features wouldn't be visible in the low light. And that, if it was, Kanda would just assume it was from the alcohol.

The dark-haired was quiet for a few seconds, and Allen took the opportunity to once again lift his glass to his lips. A sip of the liquid had barely passed his lips when Kanda clicked his tongue, drawing Allen's gaze back to him. “You're a horrible liar.”

Allen couldn't help but frown at that remark, glass being lowered back to the bar as he once again turned to face the other. “Really? Cause last I checked a horrible liar couldn't beat you to a pulp in poker.”

Kanda's brow twitched minutely, an almost indistinguishable sign of agitation that few would notice, yet one Allen rarely failed to pick up on. Allen struggled a bit to keep the smirk from forming on his lips.

“It doesn't count when you cheat, Sprout,” Kanda grumbled, a warning tone lacing his voice.

“You still don't have any proof that I cheat.” Allen pointed out, and this time he couldn't quite keep the faint smirk from coming to his lips.

“So you admit you do, then.”

“I never said that.”

“So you expect me to believe when you win it's fair and square?”

“Without any proof, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't.”

“How about I'd have to be a fucking idiot to buy that?”

“Well, to be fair you're name

is

BaKanda, so...”

Kanda's eyes narrowed, his irritated gaze shifting to once again become a genuine glare, that would have made most lesser men cower. "Either your drunk or you really wanna die, Moyashi. Which is it?"

“Right now?” Allen inquired, smirk not leaving his lips as he once again rested his cheek on a loosely curled fist. “I'd say it's a little bit of both.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Allen realized it probably wasn't the right thing to say. And yet he found he barely cared about it. After all, it wasn't as though he'd said it to Lenalee or Johnny, someone who would care and worry if he said a thing like that.

Despite that though, Kanda was staring at him, an almost disturbed look showing in his eyes. It wasn't until several seconds had passed that Allen finally severed eye contact with the taller male. Mere moments after, Allen heard the stool beside him scrape against the hard floor. The sound drew his gaze once more, and he watched as Kanda stood up, pulling out his wallet as he did so.

“C'mon, Moyashi.” He stated, digging out the money for his drinks and placing it on the bar as the bartender passed. “ I'm taking you home.”

“Huh...?”

Dark eyes shifted to lock on Allen's on silver, the typical scowl once again in place on the other's features.

A shame, really, Allen thought. Kanda looked much better when he didn't look like he was pissed at the world's very existence.

“I said 'I'm taking you home'. What, are you going deaf in your old age?”

Allen frowned at that, but chose, for once, not to retaliate with a remark of his own. “You don't need to do that,” Allen stated instead, a shrug rolling off his shoulders. “I'm not going back to the mansion tonight.”

Kanda's brow arched in silent inquiry, prompting Allen to elaborate. The white-haired only gave a small sigh, lifting his glass to take yet another sip from his drink. “I was gonna call my uncle. See if I can stay with him for a few days.”

“Doesn't he live over an hour away?” Kanda asked, his arms coming up to cross over his chest and a look of pure incredulity decorating his features as he continued to stare down at the smaller male. “What? Are you that fucking frightened of facing your cousin? You told him to go for it idio-”

“You think I don't know that!?” Allen snapped, his voice taking on a harsher tone than he had intended. His gaze hardening as it whirled on the dark-haired male, earning a rare look of surprise from the other.

He regretted the outburst almost immediately as he noticed a few nearby people staring at them, the bartender included. Slowly, he took a deep breath, hand tightening on his glass until he feared he may break it as he tried to force himself into a calmer state. He turned his gaze back on the counter, and when next he spoke, his voice was quiet and calm, oddly controlled after the previous outburst. “It... it would be one thing if it was just Tyki, but it isn't... Lavi's most likely there, too.”

When he received no immediate response, Allen almost hoped that Kanda would just leave. It's certainly what he expected the other male to do.

But much to his surprise, Kanda didn't.

Instead, after a few moments of silence had passed, the dark-haired let out a sigh, the sound edged with a barely audible trace of exasperation. Allen braced himself for the impending remark, hand tightening further on his glass as a form of restraint.

“I guess you can stay at my place for a few days.”

For a moment Allen simply blinked, hand loosening as he turned a baffled glance on the other. He couldn't have possibly heard that right, could he have...? There was no way Kanda would offer such a thing, not to him of all people.

“E... excuse me?”

“I said,” Kanda began, though, to Allen's surprise his voice was lacking any distinguishable edge of irritation, “you can stay with me for a few days.”

A few seconds passed with Allen doing little more than simply staring at Kanda, before finally one hand lifted, pressing his palm firmly to the other male's forehead.

“The fuck are you doing, Moyashi?” He glowered down at the smaller male as his arm came up, knocking Allen's aside, though it was quick to return.

“Checking your temperature,” Allen stated, turning his hand over to the back was pressed to the dark haired's skin. “You've gotta have a fever or something.”

“Shut up,” Kanda grumbled, this time grabbing hold of Allen's wrist and pulling it away. Even after it was gone, he kept his hold firm. “Do you want to or not? I want to get the fuck out of here already.”

“So... you're being serious...?” Allen spoke slowly, cautiously, not sure he believed he was hearing right. “You wouldn't mind...?”

“I wouldn't offer if I wasn't serious, Idiot.”

That offer, admittedly, sounded a lot better than going to his uncles. As much as he and Kanda bickered, admittedly, Kanda's company was preferable to his uncle - especially after he'd skipped out on their lesson earlier. Not to mention, if he stayed with Kanda, that would mean he wouldn't have to worry about missing classes or getting lectured if he did...

He downed the rest of his drink, before giving a slow nod and slipping off of his seat.

Releasing his hold on Allen's wrist, Kanda turned and headed towards the door, Allen following close behind. Allen soon found that picking his way through the crowd proved to be more difficult than Kanda made it seem, but he still managed to keep Kanda well within his line of sight. Every once in a while he would catch Kanda glancing back over his shoulder, no doubt checking to make sure he was still following, and it wasn't long before Kanda was stepping outside, Allen following a few seconds later.

Allen paused once the door closed behind him, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath of the crisp winter air as the chill danced across his skin. It felt unusually cold tonight, winter's harsh chill far more prominent than it had been in the days since the season had officially begun. It had already begun prompting excitable chatter, many more than a little excited at the mere possibility of a white Christmas, something even he was beginning to wonder about. When he opened his eyes, he was startled to see that Kanda was already halfway across the parking lot. He quickly trotted to catch up, easily picking out the black 09 Lexus he easily recognized as Kanda's car parked in one of the less crowded sections of the parking lot, straight ahead of the dark-haired male.

“Wait a minute,” Allen said as he caught up, a furrow forming on his brow, “Don't you need to take Lenalee and Rhode home, too?”

Kanda glanced at him from the corner of his eye before giving another mildly agitated sigh. He pulled his phone and keys from his pocket, thumb tabbing and gliding across his cell's screen. After a few seconds, he shut his phone off, lifting his keys instead. The telltale beep of the alarm being shut off rang through the air as Kanda moved to unlock the passenger side door, opening it before stepping away.

Allen only hesitated for a moment before getting in, closing the door behind him. He was already pulling on his seat belt when the driver's side door opened and Kanda slipped inside. He didn't say anything as he put the key in the ignition.

Before he turned the car on, however, his phone buzzed, the vibration catching both their attention in the quiet that seemed almost deafening after the loud buzz of music and chatter that had been the constant within the club. Kanda pulled his phone from his pocket once more, glancing at it for a moment before putting it away and finally turning the key in the ignition.

“What about Rhode and Lenalee?” Allen inquired as Kanda began to pull off his seat belt.

“Komui's gonna be here in about ten to pick them up,” Kanda answered, putting the car into gear and beginning to pull out of his parking space.

Allen couldn't help the speculative stare that came to settle on the taller male, despite knowing it was likely lost on the taller male as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“You text Komui? About Lenalee being at a club?” Incredulity laced his voice, “You do realize Lenalee isn't gonna be happy with you for that right?”

Kanda's first response was a shrug that rolled effortlessly off his shoulders, his gaze turning on Allen when they came to a stop at a red light. Allen could just make out the faint smirk twisting at the corner f the elder's mouth. “I wasn't happy about being dragged out to a club either, so I guess we're even.”

Allen gave a quiet huff, head shaking as Kanda turned his eyes forward once more, the light soon turning green and allowing them to continue on their way.

They lapsed into silence, the only sound between them the quiet whirring of the car's engine. Allen's head came to rest against the passenger side window. Silver eyes watched as the world passed beyond the tinted glass that seemed to separate them from the rest of the world beyond, his mind soon starting to wander of its own accord.

S2 S2 S2 S2 S2

Allen sighed deeply, breath forming a small cloud in the space before him as the manor's familiar gates came into view. Already, Allen found he was more than ready to return to his large room so that he could finally relax, just as he'd longed to since before noon.

Fridays were typically both his most, and least favorite day of the week. On the one hand, it was the final day of the week, leaving him free for the weekend to lounge about the mansion in a comfortable sweater. Maybe hang out with Lavi and the others and watch a movie or something – or, more accurately argue and possibly get into a fistfight with Kanda while Lavi and Lenalee watched the movie.

On the other hand, however, it was also the day of his least favorite class; Sociology. It wouldn't be so bad – he might have even enjoyed the subject – if it wasn't for the fact that Professor Leverrier seemed to have it out for him. It had been that way since day one, and today the old man had been especially harsh on him, pointedly calling on him whenever an especially difficult question left him with his hand resting firmly on the table, and him wishing he could turn invisible until that damn man called on someone else.

Of course, though, that hadn't been how it had worked out, and once again Allen was made to look the fool because of Leverrier's inexplicable hatred for him.

Catching sight of a familiar form leaning against the side of the gate, Allen found his mood improving ever so slightly. His pace quickened, only to slow once more as he grew closer, brow furrowing in mild concern as he noted the faraway look in his boyfriend's emerald-hued eye and the slight frown that was present on his features. Lavi didn't even seem to notice his arrival, something Allen knew was fairly out of character for the typically observant male.

“Lavi? Is something wrong?” He asked in way of greeting, alertness immediately returning to the redhead's eye as surprise crossed his features. A familiar smile, carefree in nature quickly replaced Lavi's frown. The shift in expression only served to draw a frown to Allen's features, suspicion mingling with concern in his silver eyes.

“Oh, hey Al,” He greeted, ignoring the expression the younger male wore as his arms came up, crossing behind his head in. “Thought ya wouldn't be home for least another half hour.”

“Then what are you doing out here?” Allen asked, frown deepening as he moved to punch in the code that would release the magnetic lock that kept the iron gate closed to all but those who knew it. “You could have buzzed in, it's too cold to be loitering outside. Tyki would have let you in.”

Lavi's schedule was split, a majority of his classes typically taking place in the morning and afternoon, while a couple more were in the evenings. So, t wasn't unusual for Lavi to hang around the mansion between classes, so if Tyki were home – as Allen knew he likely would be – he saw no reason why his cousin wouldn't have let the red-head in.

A buzz sounded as he hit enter on the keypad, a quieter click following before it even faded from the air, and Allen moved to push the gate open. It moved effortlessly with his hand, the hinges giving only the softest of squeaks.

Stepping through, Allen paused just beyond the gate to glance back over his shoulder. Lavi didn't waste much time, hesitating but a brief moment before following Allen into the yard. That hesitation, however brief, was enough to catch Allen's attention, and the concern brewing only seemed to grow. His eyes followed the red-head as he made his way up the walk, towards the large chateau Allen called 'home', for lack of a better word. Allen dallied, perhaps a few moments too long before releasing the gate and allowing it to shut.

There was no beep to alert that the lock had reactivated, only the sound of the metal bars rejoining the rest of the wrought iron fence.

“Lavi,” He began slowly, his voice almost cautious in nature as he finally followed after his boyfriend, jogging a few yards to catch up. “Is everything okay...?”

“Hm?” Lavi hummed, turning his gaze on Allen. Rather than grin and throw an arm around Allen's shoulders as he'd usually do, Allen noted the way his hands only seemed to sink deeper into his pockets, and rather than the bright smile, a frown made its way to his features as he turned his gaze forward once again. “To be honest Al... there's somethin' I've been thinkin' about and... I think we need to talk.”

Allen's brow furrowed, an uncharacteristic frown contorting his features as concern grew, almost overshadowing the spark of anxiousness that reared its head. His mind was already on the edge of racing, searching for any possibility, regardless of how vague, as to what could .be weighing on Lavi's mind.

“What is it?” He asked, slowing to a halt as they reached the stone steps that lead up to the manor's front porch, one hand resting on a pale wooden rail.

Lavi continued up the steps, not seeming to notice Allen's absence until he already had one foot resting on the porch. He paused there, turning to look down at the paler figure. One hand lifted to rub lightly at the back of his neck, and Allen didn't miss the way he seemed to shift his weight. “Let's get inside first, alright, Al?”

Allen's frown deepened but he didn't push. Instead, he moved to climb up the steps, his anxiousness already starting to make his stomach twist into uncomfortable knots. He pulled his keys from his pocket as he went, continuing past Lavi and listening to the other approach as he unlocked the door.

He pushed it open slowly, bracing himself in case a certain eighteen-year-old happened to be home, knowing there would be no escaping her enthusiastic greeting if she was. Thankfully, it seemed he had beaten Rhode home, judging by the fact that he could still breathe properly, even after shrugging off his coat and hanging it up.

Lavi followed suit, pausing in the entryway to remove his jacket. Allen waited for it to be hung up before moving towards the large stairwell across the foyer, though he didn't get far before a third set of footsteps drew his attention towards the kitchen.

Tyki paused in the kitchen doorway, an expression of mild surprise crossing his features as brown eyes caught sight of the pair. Much in his usual fashion, he wore a pair of well-tailored slacks and a white dress shirt, the top two buttons of which remained undone, and his dark, wavy hair was pulled back into a ponytail. “Ah, Allen you're home early,” He observed, offering his younger cousin a faint smile, before shifting his gaze to the fidgeting ginger. “Hello Red. I didn't realize you were going to be coming over today.”

“Hey Tyki,” Allen greeted in response, returning the smile more on reflex than anything else. “I decided to skip Neah's piano lesson. If he calls, mind telling him I'm not feeling well?”

“Trying to throw me to that wolf so you don't have to deal with him?” Tyki inquired, arching one dark brow as his arms came up to cross over his chest. A vague note of feigned disapproval laced his tone, one that the smirk just beginning to tug at one side of his mouth easily discredited. “You know he isn't going to like that, Boy.”

Allen allowed an indifferent shrug to roll off his shoulders, smile not fading. “Maybe, but that doesn't mean you won't do it anyway.”

“True. You'll owe me one for it though.”

“Thanks, Tyki.”

Tyki said nothing in response, instead simply waving one hand in a dismissive gesture, before turning back to the kitchen.

“Wait a minute, Tyki.”

Lavi's voice sounded for the first time since walking through the door, effectively halting Tyki's departure and drawing both his gaze and Allen's own. The cousins simply stared at him for a moment, Tyki in silent inquiry and Allen in confusion, before the ginger continued. “Do you have a few?”

“I thought you wanted to talk...?” Allen said before Tyki could respond.

“Yeah well...” Lavi lifted one hand to rub lightly at the back of his neck, gaze shifting away from the pair as he spoke, “What I want to talk about actually concerns both of you, Al.”

Confusion colored Tyki's features, the expression so similar to Allen's own that one could almost believe that they shared blood.

“Alright...” Allen said slowly, turning away from the stairwell to instead head towards the large sitting room. He knew no one other than Tyki would be home at this hour, so despite the openness of the room, he knew there would be no danger from eavesdroppers.

He heard the quiet click of Tyki's dress shoes echoing about the large space and Lavi's sneakers give the occasional squeak as the two followed the white-haired male.

Much of the manor's interior was done in monochrome. The floors were made of polished white marble, the walls a pristine white that was almost blinding when all of the curtains were drawn on a sunny day. The sitting room shared the pale hues on the wall and floor, a large dark gray and white rug creating the first touches of contrast to the pale color scheme, accompanied by the dark wood that made up the frame for the glass-topped coffee and end tables. A polished black stone made up the mantel and hearth of the fireplace set into the wall opposite the plush white sofa.

Allen took a seat on one end of the sofa, expecting Lavi to sit beside him. To his surprise, Lavi didn't, instead moving past him and the coffee table to take the chair that faced the sofa, its back almost facing the fireplace. Allen glanced at Tyki, noticing his look of surprised confusion as the older male hesitated a few brief moments before taking a seat on the other end of the sofa.

“Alright Lavi,” Allen began, head canting to the side as he stared at his boyfriend who refused to meet his gaze. “What did you need to talk to us about?”

“Well, Al I...” Lavi shifted a bit in his seat, one hand lifting to rub lightly at the back of his neck. A frown furrowed Allen's brow, the uncharacteristic hesitation reviving the previous feelings of concern.

What on earth could possibly be bad enough to have Lavi this on edge? It was so unlike the man he'd come to know since his sophomore year.

“Go on,” He prompted, forcing the frown from his features to instead offer the ginger a smile he hoped to be encouraging. “Whatever it is, Lavi, it can't be as bad as you're thinking.”

At last, Lavi lifted that green gaze to the younger male, taking him off guard as an uncharacteristic look of melancholy twisted the other's features, casting an unusual shadow in the typically bright eyes, and even showing in the faint, upwards curve of his lips. It was an expression Allen could never once recall seeing on the other male's features, one that shone with guilt and sorrow that Allen never thought he would see on the face that usually shined so bright with carefree cheer and mischief.

“Boy, you're not making this any easier Allen...” The red-head stated, giving a slight shake of his head. He leaned forward resting his arms on his knees, hands clasped between them, while his gaze moved to the carpet beneath his feet. He was quiet a few moments, Allen's smile falling and frown returning – growing – with each passing second.

“Al... I... You know the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you...” The ginger began before Allen could push once more. “But... I don't think there's any way to say this without it hurtin'...”

“What is it...?” Allen asked, a note of caution in his voice, confusion, and dread beginning to twist at his stomach.

“This,” Tyki began, pushing himself to his feet and drawing the couple's eyes to him. Allen could see from the way he rubbed at the back of his neck that he was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the direction this seemed to have taken. Allen couldn't say he blamed him in the slightest. “seems like a couple thing. I'll give you two your privacy.”

“Wait, Tyki, stay,” Lavi called as the eldest of the three began to turn away, drawing the male's gaze back to him. He frowned, seemingly considering whether or not he really should, and Allen found himself hoping he would choose to ignore the red head's cry. A sigh passed the dark haired's lips, and Allen couldn't quite ignore the vague sense of disappointment he felt as the cushion once again dipped with his cousin's weight.

Lavi took a deep breath, the air escaping his lungs on a shuddering sigh a few seconds later as the redhead seemed to try and gather his thoughts.

Allen didn't push, despite how badly he wanted to. Each second that passed only seemed to make the feeling of apprehension grow till he was beginning to feel ill.

“Allen... You're one of the kindest people I've ever met. Sure you have your dark side and it can be fucking terrifying,” He paused briefly to give the faintest of chuckles, one hand lifting to tousel already messy ginger locks. “but you're so good to the people you care about... You're fun, you're caring, and there's nothing you won't do for someone you love... You're an amazing person overall Al, and an incredible friend and I know I've been so lucky to date you, and I have to be fucking insane to be doing this but I-”

“Lavi,” Allen's voice sounded oddly calm to his ears considering the suspicion that was now at the forefront of his mind. That couldn't possibly be what was going on, his head and heart both screamed in certainty to the contrary, telling him he was foolish for even letting that thought cross his mind. But, he found that that did little to quell the fear that that was the case, and despite the way he dreaded that he might already know the answer, he still forced the words from his throat. “Are you... breaking up with me...?”

In the short moment before Lavi averted his gaze, dropping his green eye to the plush carpet beneath his feet, Allen saw the guilt grow, his expression looking almost pained to Allen's eye, and that was all the confirmation Allen needed.

“I... I'm really sorry, Al...” Lavi murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, but it still rang clear in the room.

Allen would have expected to feel angry or hurt, to want to yell or simply leave without another word on the subject. But in the several seconds that passed, the only sound being that of cloth rubbing against cloth as Tyki shifted uncomfortably in his seat, Allen felt none of these things, his mind seemingly overcome by a state of shock.

“I don't...why?”

It didn't make sense.

Lavi had been one of Allen's best friends practically since the day they'd met, and that hadn't changed since the title had changed from 'friend' to 'boyfriend'. They always enjoyed each other's company, whether they were goofing around or simply sitting, watching a movie on the couch when the manor was empty, and they seldom argued. On the rare occasion they did, they were always quick to make up, neither being the type to remain angry for long.

Of course, they had their flaws. Both had habits of hiding things that could inconvenience or concern the other, particularly when it came to those accursed little things called emotions, and that of course was something most would say wasn't healthy. That they shouldn't bottle things up, and that they should feel comfortable, safe enough to share such things with the one they were dating. And though comfort and safety were far from being the issue with them, Allen knew on some level that they would have been right.

But no one else knew that they were like that even with each other. Everyone who knew them would have thought they were a great couple, the words 'near-perfect' having been uttered more than once in their presents, a comment that each time had drawn a laugh from Allen's lips and a nearly imperceptible hue to his features.

So why? Why was this happening?

“Allen it's...” Lavi began, shifting in his seat in a way similar to Tyki. “I love you, Al. I always have, you know that but... I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I... I started to realize I don't think it's the right kind of love for... for a boyfriend to have, ya know?”

The ginger took a deep breath, one hand lifting to run through tousled red locks before his head finally lifted, a pleading gaze coming to rest on the white-haired youth. “I don't want you to think you aren't important to me, Al... Ya really are. You're one of the best friends I've ever had, but I... Something made me realize... that's all I love you as. A really good friend, like Lena-Lady or Yuu-chan, and... I don't think it's fair to either of us if I can't bring myself to love you as more than that. Not when ya deserve a hell of a lot more than that and I...”

Allen waited several seconds for Lavi to continue, brow furrowing ever so slightly as Lavi once again dropped his gaze. Allen wasn't blind, and though he would be among the first to acknowledge that he wasn't always the best at reading others' emotions, he could easily spot something in Lavi's gaze he didn't think he ever would have expected.

“And you what...?” He asked slowly, cautiously, silver-hued eyes remaining locked firm on the ginger. He watched as Lavi's bottom lip was caught between his teeth, the look of guilt only seeming to grow with the action. Another deep breath was drawn after a few moments spent worrying at the flesh before it was freed of his teeth. The air was released from his lungs on a shaky sigh, eye falling closed as the ginger seemed to try and gather his courage.

“And I... I think I'm in love with someone else.”

Disbelief, that was the first feeling that made itself known, the words doing little to help it fade despite how many times they replayed. However, when it finally did begin to dissipate, Allen quickly came to wish it hadn't.

His hands curled ever so slightly where they rested in his lap, fingers just beginning to wrinkle the fabric of his slacks as his chest began to grow just a touch tighter, and he tried to swallow down the lump that was beginning to form in his throat before breathing became a chore. He could practically feel his blood beginning to warm, hurt mingling with the beginnings of anger as realization slowly started to sink in.

Silver eyes drifted to the side, taking in the dark-haired reaction as Allen struggled to keep his breathing at a normal rate. Tyki appeared to be in a state of shock, his gold-hued eyes wide with surprise, his lips slightly parted as he stared at the ginger.

“Me...?” Tyki finally managed, a distinct note of disbelief in his voice.

From the corner of his eye, Allen caught the slow, almost solemn nod the ginger gave. With that motion, his suspicion was confirmed, and Allen wanted to laugh as yet another wave of disbelief washed over him. A part of him almost wanted to believe that this was just another one of Lavi's pranks, that any second now the ginger's usual grin would come to his features as he yelled 'Psych!'

But he knew Lavi too well to believe for a moment that that could truly be the case. Lavi was a lot of things, but cruel wasn't one of them. And that would be too cruel a prank to pull on someone, especially someone he loved.

So it must have been true.

Lavi didn't love him.

Lavi was breaking up with him.

Lavi was in love with Tyki.

Those three thoughts – those three facts played over and over inside of his head, causing his jaw to clench, teeth gritting together, almost to the point of pain as he tried to contain the slew of emotions swirling about within.

Anger, sorrow, hurt, betrayal; they all writhed and mingled together, each only serving to make it that much more difficult to breathe beyond the near suffocating tightness in his chest and the lump forming in his throat.

They screamed at him to yell, to cry out at the situation in some way, to voice them and let the other male know exactly how unfair this whole situation was.

“Al...?” Lavi's voice, low and hesitant pulled him almost violently from his thoughts, drawing his gaze from the floor to the ginger. “You okay...?”

And in an instant, he knew he wouldn't do any of the things his emotions seemed to crave.

Even if it wasn't against his nature, he knew he wouldn't be able to summon the will to admonish Lavi for any of what he had said since the three of them had been seated.

Not when he could see the mix of emotions swirling in the eye of someone he cared for so much. The fear, guilt, and pain writhing within that emerald-hued eye seemed to make any urge to snap at the ginger practically nonexistent, any anger quickly being extinguished while the other emotions seemed to merge, creating a single blinding ache in his chest.

Even in a situation like this, that was one thing the musician couldn't stand to see; someone he cared about hurting, and it was even worse knowing that he was a part of the cause. He could handle whatever hurt was going to come from this – the hurt he knew he could feel only the beginnings of in the current moment – but he wouldn't let someone he loved suffer if there was anything he could do.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself to his feet, taking several long moments to force the ache to the back of his mind, and the lump from his throat so that neither would be heard in his voice. Then, with more effort than he could ever recall it having taken, he forced the familiar mask to his features and met Lavi's gaze.

“I'm alright Lavi,” He said calmly, a familiar smile making its way to his lips despite how much of his mind and heart screamed for it to be erased, for it to be pulled from his features to make way for his true emotions. But just like every other time, he forced those emotions back, keeping the smile in place with well-practiced ease that showed none of the internal struggles. “I understand.”

Pausing, he glanced between the ginger and his cousin, before allowing his eyes to rest once again on the ginger. “I guess you two have some things to talk about now though. I'll excuse myself then.”

He didn't wait for a response from either of them, and neither of them called for him to stay as he left the sitting room to make way for the stairs. A fact he was grateful for as he focused on keeping his pace steady, rather than bolting for his room as a part of him so desperately wanted to.

It was only after he reached his bedroom, the door closed and locked with his back pressed firm against the pale wood, that he allowed his smile to fall, accompanying the crystalline droplet that made its way down his cheek.

S2 S2 S2 S2 S2

"Oi! Moyashi!" Kanda's harsh voice paired with the rough shaking of one shoulder working to pull the white-haired youth from his own mind.

He blinked several times, looking around the car's dark interior while the daze cleared before turning his gaze on Kanda, just in time to see him turning off the ignition.

"Stupid beansprout,” He grumbled as he removed his seat belt, causing a furrow to form on Allen's brow. “Quit zoning out. We're here.”

As Kanda opened his door and stepped out, Allen scrambled to follow, almost getting tangled up in his seat belt in the process. When he stepped out of the car, his eyes instantly traveled to the large structure as Kanda began moving towards the front door.

Allen had never put much thought in to where Kanda lived, and he knew that the people Kanda invited over were scarce, to say the least. Even Lavi, who was supposedly Kanda's closest friend aside from his three foster brothers, had only been over a hand full of times and typically only after inviting himself.

The only light that touched the house was the distant glow of a streetlight situated at the very edge of the large lawn and the warm glow that pooled on the front porch from beside the door, but it was enough for Allen to know he wouldn't have expected Kanda to live in a place like this.

“

You

live

here

?” Allen inquired, unable to keep the note of incredulity from his voice.

Even in the low light, Allen could tell the house was beautiful. It was a large two-story colonial, painted in a pale blue just a few shades lighter than the sky's hue. A large balcony lined the front and wrapped around one side, the white bars and rail surrounding it matching the rest of the shutters that rested on either side of each window as well as the rest of the house's trim.

“No, I just happen to have the keys to some strangers' fucking place,” Kanda replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he moved around the car, “Of course I live here, dumb-ass.”

A frown contorted Allen's features as he followed Kanda up the walkway. “Alone?”

Of course, the colonial was nowhere near the size of the manor Allen's family occupied, but it was certainly an impressive size. It was hard to imagine one person living in it without any qualms.

Of course, he knew well that Kanda was more of a loner than he was, but he still found it hard to imagine anyone not growing at least somewhat lonely with such a large place all to themself. But he also knew that he often found the cloying feeling of loneliness making itself known within the pristine white walls if he wasn't in the presence of another. Even with the manor's other occupants spread out within the magnificent abode, the large mansion still felt empty a large majority of the time.

“No shit. I'm the only one who stuck around after graduation.” Kanda huffed in reply as he unlocked the door. He paused long enough to wipe his shoes on the mat before stepping inside, a pointed look being turned on the paler male that almost made him roll his eyes. He managed to refrain, but not without a bit of effort as he followed Kanda's lead.

The door was closed behind him, and as Kanda made quick work of removing his shoes, setting them on the cold tile floor beside the front door before moving further into the house, Allen found himself hesitating to follow. Now that he was actually in Kanda's home, he wasn't quite sure what to do from there, and he found himself wondering if he shouldn't just go ahead and call Neah after all. Though, he would have been lying had he said curiosity wasn't suddenly beginning to get the better of him.

He removed his shoes at a slower pace than the dark-haired had his own, before setting them aside as well, and finally followed after.

Now that he allowed himself to wonder about the dark haired's home, he expected to see barren rooms, decorated only with the bare necessary furniture, if any at all, and the temperature to be as cold as the older male himself often seemed. It would have made sense to him; the cold of barren rooms working to chill Kanda's frosty heart – or vice versa, as the case may very well have been.

However, as he hesitantly shrugged off his coat and stepped from the foyer into a decently sized living room, his feet moving from cold tile to warm carpet, he was surprised to realize just how wrong he had been.

Instead of borderline dungeon-like conditions, he found the house to be quite warm, the heat serving to effortlessly chase away the harsh chill of winter that clung to his skin, almost making his fingers feel numb. The décor was simple, yet elegant in a way that seemed oddly fitting of the dark-haired male.

The walls were a pale cream color, and the white carpet was plush and soft beneath the white haired's feet. A deep midnight hued couch rested against one wall, a matching recliner and love seat spaced around the glass coffee table in the center of the living room. A wide arch dominated one side in place of a wall, and through it, Allen could see a long dining room table and a doorway he assumed to lead to the kitchen.

A few paintings were strategically placed along the walls, and Allen didn't have to ask to guess that they were probably Tiedoll's work. He had seen enough of the older gentleman's work back in high school when he was teaching their art class, and he was well aware of the fact that the beautiful landscapes the paintings portrayed were likely as good as a photograph in their accuracy.

All in all, it was quite cozy, the warm hues a welcome contrast to the cold monochrome he had grown so accustomed to within his own home and the more traditional and rustic feel that dominated Lavi's apartment.

The sound of movement drew him towards the doorway, and he found himself standing in a spacious Kitchen, watching as Kanda set a kettle atop one blue flamed burner. Kanda barely glanced at him as he entered before moving about. Allen didn't say anything as he moved towards the raised section of the counter, taking a seat atop one of the well-worn stools.

“This is a nice place,” Allen commented, trying to break through the awkwardness that seemed to charge the room's atmosphere. “How long have you lived here?”

Kanda turned sharp blue eyes on him as he placed two cups on the counter beside the stove, before turning to lean back against the counter while he waited for the water to boil. Allen braced himself for some rude remark, half expecting to be reprimanded for 'asking stupid questions'. Even if he didn't find the question stupid, he wouldn't be surprised if Kanda did.

“Practically since I was nine. But only moved back in a couple of years ago.” Kanda answered, much to Allen's surprise. “It's the old man's place.”

“I didn't know you still lived with Tiedoll.”

“I don't.” Kanda huffed, turning his attention back to one of the cupboards and pulling down a jar of tea leaves. “He moved a couple of years ago, but he was too damn sentimental to sell this place and didn't want it to be left empty for god knows how fucking long.”

“So you chose to move back in,” Allen finished when Kanda paused, opening a drawer and digging through it until he found two round metal utensils that Allen assumed were meant to serve the same function like a teabag.

Kanda gave a low sound of confirmation, unknowingly confirming Allen's unspoken suspicion as he began filling the tea infusers with the dried leaves, before dropping one in each cup, making sure the chain was on the outside of the cup. Once that was done, he lifted the lid off the kettle, checking the water, before removing it from the burner and pouring some into each of the mugs.

After shifting the infusers a couple of times, he turned to place one of the cups in front of Allen. He barely acknowledged Allen's murmured thanks before moving back towards the dining room. “Come on. I'll show you what room you can use.”

Allen slipped from the stool, taking the cup from the counter before moving to follow the dark-haired male. Kanda leads him back up to the second floor. The top of the stairwell opened up in the center of a hall. Kanda turned to the left.

“That's the bathroom. Lucky for you Alma's a scatterbrain and always forgets to bring things when he comes home so there are extra toiletries under the sink,” Kanda stated as he reached the end of the hall, gesturing to the door right in front of them before turning to the door to the left and pushing it open, “And here's the room you can use.”

Kanda stepped aside to allow Allen to enter the room. He was aware of Kanda looking him over, but he chose to ignore it up until the dark-haired spoke again. “Wait here. I'll see if I can dig up something you can wear.”

Allen's first instinct was to turn his gaze on the other, a protest already springing to the tip of his tongue, but before it could leave his lips Kanda was already walking away.

Allen shifted his weight in discontent, finding himself feeling more than a little uncertain as he looked around the unfamiliar room. The only pieces of furniture present in the room where the full-sized bed and a reasonably sized dresser. It seemed to lack any form of frivolous decoration, something that came of no surprise to the white-haired youth. If it weren't for the elderly art teacher's paintings, he had little doubt that the rest of the house would be the same.

Kanda just didn't seem the type to bother with things simply for the sake of aesthetics.

It was only a couple of minutes before Kanda returned, a barked 'Moyashi' drawing his attention back to the doorway. The next thing he knew, something was flying at his face, the incoming object causing him to take a startled step back. His arms came up too little too late to prevent the unknown object from hitting him square in the face.

He glared towards the doorway as a snort sounded from the other male, noting the smirk and the rare expression of genuine amusement that colored the sharp features.

“Nice catch, Moyashi.”

“Shut up, BaKanda,” Allen huffed in response, leaning down to pluck a shirt from where it had fallen on the floor after gravity had retaken its hold on the pair of projectiles. At the very least he'd managed to catch the sweat pants. “Bet you couldn't do it.”

"You're right; I'd catch it with my hands, not my face." Kanda retorted, the smirk not leaving his features as he stepped back out of the room and turned back down the hall.

“That wasn't what I meant and you know it!”

After a few seconds of no response, Allen let an agitated sigh pass his lips. Even though Kanda had no doubt returned to the first floor – and the fact that Allen was sure he wouldn't look in on him even if he hadn't – Allen still closed the bedroom door before slipping out of his clothes and into the ones Kanda had given him.

They were too big, a fact that came as no surprise considering Kanda's larger frame and superior height, but they were still fairly comfortable. Allen was glad that Kanda had thought to give him pants that had a drawstring on them, knowing Kanda's pants probably wouldn't stay on otherwise.

Once he was changed, he left the room, returning downstairs. He found the dark-haired in the living room, seated comfortably on the dark blue sofa. He had one of the cups from before clasped in his hand, a frown decorating his features that made Allen consider going up and simply going to bed.

Certainly, he was eager for the day to end after how long it had been. However, as he took notice of the second mug of steaming liquid resting on a coaster atop the coffee table, he brushed that thought aside.

“Thanks for letting me stay here, Kanda,” He said as he took a seat on the couch, reaching for the mug Kanda had set aside for him. He took a cautious sip, finding the tea far sweeter and less pungent in taste than he had expected it to be.

“Don't mention it,” Kanda grumbled in response, glancing at Allen from the corner of his eye, before swiftly turning it forward once more. “There's milk in the fridge and sugar on the counter if you want it. You seem the type.”

“No, that's alright. This is already good so I don't need it.”

They lapsed into silence, neither offering a new topic of discussion as they simply sat and drank their tea. It wasn't so bad, at first, but as minutes wore on and the silence only seemed to grow heavier, Allen couldn't help but shift in mild discomfort. He knew Kanda well enough to know that he did prefer the quiet and solitude, the exact opposite of Allen himself, so he doubted the dark-haired was overly bothered.

“Hey, Kanda...?” Allen began, a touch of hesitancy in his voice that seemed to easily catch the older male's attention. Kanda quirked a brow, all the encouragement Allen needed to voice the question that hung heavy on the tip of his tongue. “Why

are

you letting me stay here?”

Silence fell between them once more, Kanda's gaze moving from Allen to lock straight ahead once more. After a few moments had passed, Kanda allowed a shrug to roll off his shoulders. “Does it matter?”

Allen frowned, staring at Kanda for a moment before allowing a sigh to pass between his lips. “I guess not. I'm just curious... it isn't like you.”

“You're oddly inquisitive today, aren't you, Beansprout?”

“I guess so,” Allen mused in response, one side of his mouth quirking upwards into the faintest of smirks, “Though, honestly I didn't think a big word like 'inquisitive was even in your vocabulary, BaKanda.”

Kanda's gaze returned to him, a scoff sounding from the dark haired's lips. “I'm going to assume that's the alcohol talking.”

A shrug rolled effortlessly off of Allen's shoulders as he took a sip from his cup. “Assume what you want. That doesn't mean you're right.”

Truthfully Allen didn't think any of the alcohol was even left in his system at this point, despite the amount he had consumed before leaving Noah's Ark. What little buzz he had managed to work up had been gone by the time they'd pulled up Kanda's house.

"Am I right in assuming you have a death wish then, Moyashi?”

"It's 'Allen.'"

"We've established that. We've also established that I don't give a damn."

"Oh, '

established

,' another big word.” Allen's smirk widened a fraction, the familiar banter almost soothing for a change, rather than annoying. Even Kanda didn't seem as annoyed as he usually would have, something Allen found as somewhat of a relief. Though he didn't wish to get on Kanda's nerves too much – not after what the other was doing for him – the situation was strange enough without their banter being off-limits. “Showing off, are we?"

"Trying to get ourselves killed, are we?"

"You really should cut back on the death threats, you know. It's getting harder to take you seriously."

"And why's that, short stack?"

"Well, for one thing, I'm still alive."

"I can fix that if you like.” Kanda scoffed, drinking what remained of his tea before placing the now empty ceramic dish on the table. “You can even consider it an early Christmas present if you want."

"Well look at you, getting into the holiday spirit.” Allen couldn't help but smirk, amusement just starting to dance in the silver depths. “Although you certainly could use a bit more Christmas cheer."

"You want Christmas cheer? Go ask that Baka Usagi of yours. I'm sure he's full of it."

Silence fell in the beat of heart, the only sound filling the air the low thrum of the heater that worked to keep at bay the harsh winter chill. Those words were all it seemed to take to make Allen wince, all of his amusement and fragile mirth to vanish completely and making way for the hurt and betrayal he'd been trying to suppress.

Allen couldn't quite suppress a soft sigh that escaped from between his lips, despite the smile he forced to remain in place. “Yeah,” He agreed, trying to keep the pained note from his voice even as he dropped his gaze to his cup. “You're probably right.”

“Fucking hell...” Kanda growled, sounding greatly more annoyed than he had previously, and drawing Allen's gaze once more. Silver eyes watched as the dark haired's hand lifted, running through his bangs as his expression contorted into one of obvious agitation and... was that... a little bit of regret showing in his eyes? “I didn't mean...”

Allen's bow furrowed in confusion, and Kanda only seemed to grow more annoyed by it. He all but wrenched his hand free of his hair, before giving a sigh that shook minutely with barely restrained frustration. “I'm sorry, alright? That just slipped out...”

Allen's eyes widened in evident surprise, expression turning to one of mild disbelief. Apologies were rare coming from Kanda, a fact Allen had long ago realized, and they were even rarer still when directed at him. For all the times they had clashed in any way, there had been few instances where one or both had crossed a line where an apology was deemed necessary.

“It... it's alright, Kanda.” He stated calmly, shifting a bit before drinking the rest of his now cooled tea.

Kanda made another agitated sound, looking all the world like he was ready to punch something, much to Allen's surprise. He knew Kanda hadn't meant to bring up Lavi like that – let alone in such a context and though he wished he hadn't, he understood it was a simple slip of the tongue. Kanda wasn't so cruel as to kick a man when he was down, and yet now that he had he seemed to truly regret it.

An agitated click sounded from the dark haired's tongue as he leaned back in his seat, cobalt eyes remaining locked on the black screen hanging on the wall. “You shouldn't let him get you so bent out of shape like this, Moyashi. He isn't worth it.”

Allen remained silent for several seconds, simply observing the other male with a furrowed brow. Was Kanda... trying to make him feel better? It was a strange thought, but... Allen didn't see what else it could be, and he found a soft smile just starting to form on his lips. "You get bent out of shape because of him all the time.”

"That's different.” Kanda scoffed, eyes rolling as though that should have been obvious. “He pisses me off to no end."

Whether that was meant to be a comfort or not, Allen wasn't sure... but regardless he found that any thought or topic relating to Lavi wasn't one he was particularly keen on in the current moment. So, he forced his smile to widen, gaze filling with feigned mischief. “like you do me?”

Something in his tone must have seemed off, because almost instantly Allen was met with the other's gaze, cobalt eyes locking firmly with silver in a piercing display that, not for the first time, made Allen feel as though Kanda could see far more than just his eyes.

Several seconds passed, the air seeming to grow more charged as Allen waited for Kanda to either comment or look away, but neither happened. Instead, Kanda's calculative eyes remained locked firmly on his vibrant silver hues, until at last Allen was the one to look away, frowning as he conceded to the other's gaze.

Still, several seconds of silence passed, and Allen could easily feel those piercing eyes on him, and it took every ounce of Allen's will not to shift in discontent under the other's scrutiny, until finally, Kanda's voice sounded once again.

"You don't have to act, you know."

Allen couldn't stop himself from tensing, eyes locked firmly on the empty cup he still held in his hands. It was several moments before he forced himself to relax; drawing a deep breath, before releasing it in one long exhale. “It's just... a lot easier not to think about it. I'd rather not think about either of them right now.”

"You'll have to face them eventually. What're you gonna do then?"

"That's why I wanted to stay away from the mansion for a few days. I was hoping to have my thoughts sorted out by then..."

A shrug rolled off of thins shoulders, trusting that the action and the silence that accompanied it would serve as an answer. He knew full well that the dark-haired wouldn't miss it with the gaze he could still feel boring into his frame with all the presence of a lead weight.

Why was Kanda still staring at him so intently, anyway? He couldn't for the life of him think of a reason, especially not with how often Kanda had said just looking at him was enough to get on his nerves.

"Che, Baka Moyashi.” The dark-haired finally grunted, agitation clear in his tone. “I can't believe you're letting this shit get to you.”

Allen's brow twitched minutely as he reached out, placing his cup on the coffee table in front of him. "Not sure why you're making a big deal about it, BaKanda. Not like it matters to you."

Kanda remained silent, and Allen that silence was all Allen needed to know he spoke the truth.

Of course, he did.

After all, why would Kanda of all people care about the breakup of two people he couldn't stand most of the time?

"You don't know that," Kanda said after several moments had passed without a word, that weighted gaze finally moving from the white-haired's form just as an incredulous look came to rest on him.

"Yeah, I do,” Allen responded, noting the frown present on the other's features before leaning back against the sofa. “You've hated me since middle school."

"You do know that you haven't grown since middle school, right?"

"I have too!” Allen snapped before giving an indignant huff as arms came up to cross over his chest. “And quit trying to change the subject. I'm not in the mood to play games anymore."

"Tch, I can see that much.” Kanda huffed, eyes rolling. “If you ask me, it's the idiot who should be feeling down right now. Not you."

Allen's brow furrowed, confusion once again making itself known as he tried to make sense of the dark-haired male's sudden string of unusual behavior. "What makes you say that?"

"Considering he just dumped you for that cousin of yours? That's reason enough in my book."

"He has feelings for Tyki and Tyki has feelings for him. Why should he be down about the whole thing?"

"And you just got rid of the idiot without any effort whatsoever, so why are you?"

"Why

shouldn't

I be?” It took a great deal of effort not to bark the question, annoyance surging to life as silver eyes narrowed. “I enjoyed going out with Lavi, you know. I was happy going out with him and I thought...” He trailed off, annoyance evaporating all at once as the confusion he'd felt earlier returned.

I thought he was happy with me too.

A sigh escaped his lips, gaze dropping to his lap as he shook his head a few times, fighting back the faint burn that was just starting to make itself known behind his eyes. "Just forget about it, Kanda."

Quiet fell between them once again, this time lasting far longer than the others before, leaving Allen to once again wallow in the same thoughts that had plagued him in the sitting room, as well as the multitude of others that had surged to the forefront of his mind while he'd been locked up in his room before Tyki had gone upstairs.

He was just considering going up to the bedroom Kanda was letting him use when finally the silence was broken.

“You make it sound like there's no way I have any idea what you might be feeling right now.”

Kanda's voice was low, almost too low for Allen to hear. If it wasn't for just how quiet the house was, he was sure it would have been easy for him to miss.

“Oh? So you know what it's like to find out your cousin and boyfriend have feelings for each other?” Allen asked, a note of almost bitter amusement lacing his tone. “And then basically being forced to give them your blessing or not and making them both miserable?

"Oh, so you know how it feels to find out that your boyfriend and cousin are in love with each other, and to be given the choice of either giving them your blessing or standing in their way and making them both miserable?"

"Not quite."

"See? Then you couldn't possibly-"

Without warning warm fingertips were brushing against his cheek, the digits soon being joined by an equally warm palm, the skin there surprisingly soft despite the callouses that had formed after years of wielding a sword. The touch was enough to halt the rest of the sentence from leaving his lips, as well as chase it from his thoughts, and he soon found his breath catching in his throat as he was coaxed into looking at the older male.

Cobalt met silver, and for once Allen found the gaze wasn't cold; wasn't piercing down into every shadowed crevice that his heart held. Instead, they were unusually open, almost... vulnerable? No, that... that couldn't possibly be right... Kanda was never vulnerable. Kanda went to almost excessive lengths to avoid ever being seen as such so why-

"But,” The dark-haired began, only to hesitate as soon as the word left his mouth. The guard slowly began to return to those dark eyes, the deep shade taking on an appearance that was far more familiar though Allen could almost see a conflict raging within. It only lasted for a few seconds, but to Allen, it felt like minutes before those eyes once again hardened to their usual steel as he seemed to find the resolve to carry on. “I have had to spend the last several months watching my so-called

'best friend'

date another 'friend' who's too damn stupid to see how I feel about him and act like I don't give a damn. That close enough for you, Sprout?"

Allen's eyes went wide, shock the only word to describe the emotion that swept through him at the confession. There... there was no way he'd just heard that right, was there? Kanda couldn't be saying that he... that he had...

"Wh-what?" Was all he could manage, a faint hue dusting across his features as the other's thumb absentmindedly traced along the curved line of jagged, ink-stained scar tissue that marred the otherwise smooth, pale skin of his left cheek.

Kanda's jaw tightened at his stammered inquiry, a look of mild annoyance showing in the dark depths and brow twitching, though his hand still didn't leave the paler male's cheek. He could feel the warmth of Kanda's skin all but burn into his own, only adding to the intensity of the heat that came with the faint rose tint his skin now held, and yet he felt little desire to pull away.

“See? Told you he was too damn stupid,” Kanda huffed, a moment's pause marked by the stilling of that thumb before he let an almost indiscernible sigh pass his lips. “Maybe I should just show you.”

"K-Kanda, I'm not sure I-"

He was cut off as Kanda moved towards him, and in the next moment, the other male's lips were pressed firmly against his own. He felt his eyes grow impossibly wide, breath catching in his throat as shock rendered him momentarily immobile.

Kanda was kissing him.

Kanda Yuu; the ice prince himself who had always seemed like he'd sooner deck someone for even considering pressing their lips to his, was kissing

him

. The snowy-haired male he had spent the last several years fighting with, teasing, calling names, and, most of all,

hating

.

Why was he-

Allen's thoughts were once again derailed, a soft gasp escaping him as the larger male took advantage of his shock, the slight part of his lips that he hadn't even noticed until he felt the tip of the warm muscle sliding gently between in a silent request.

He didn't think, didn't pause to consider the faint voice that rang out from the back of his mind saying that he should push Kanda away – that he shouldn't let this go any farther – before his lips were parting further, granting the dark-haired male the entrance he desired.

He didn't waste any time, and the next thing Allen knew Kanda's tongue was brushing against his own, the contact sending a faint trill down his spine as the hand that had been cradling his jaw moved back, carding into the soft tresses of Allen's pale hair, and grasping at them almost roughly.

The action had Allen tensing, a soft sound escaping his throat, and in an instant that hand loosened, the tongue retreating in preparation for the kiss's end. Panic flared in Allen's chest, the emotion unbidden as it made his heart's pace increase till it was all but racing. Without thought his arms came up, one wrapping firmly around the dark-haired's shoulders while the other hand grasped at the nape of Kanda's neck, pulling his lips back to his own in almost the same moment that they parted.

This time it was Kanda's turn to be shocked, something made clear by the way he tensed up beneath Allen's hand. Clearly, he hadn't expected to be pulled back, and Allen couldn't say he blamed him. He hadn't expected to pull him back, and even as he nipped at Kanda's lower lip he couldn't for the life of him say why he had.

That small nip seemed to be more than enough to coax Kanda out of his surprised stupor, and in an instant Kanda's tongue was once again slipping between the paler male's still parted lips, and this time Allen found himself kissing Kanda back.

Suddenly Allen found himself being pushed down into the couch, head against the armrest while Kanda was suddenly on top of him, one leg on either side of his hips. The hand on Kanda's nape slid up, brushing against raven locks till they reached the crimson-hued rope that kept them bound. Shaky fingers tugged at the tie, only for his wrist to be caught in one strong hand and pulled away, being pinned beside his head.

He made a soft sound of protest, but any malcontent was quickly forgotten, fading swiftly as Kanda deepened the kiss. Allen couldn't contain the quiet moan that escaped him, nor the faint shiver the went down his spine, rippling along the lean muscle that lined his torso as Kanda's free hand slipped under the borrowed shirt.

The calloused fingers roamed higher up as at last their lips parted, leaving them both of them panting lightly to try and regain the breath they'd been denied, but it didn't last long. Soon Kanda's lips were on him again, this time starting at his jaw and trailing down till they reached his neck. A soft nip was delivered to the pale column, the sudden sensation drawing another moan from his throat – this one louder than the last.

In an instant Kanda stilled, body going tense where it hung over the smaller frame.

“Fuck,” He hissed, head coming to rest against Allen's shoulder as his hand withdrew from beneath the cloth.

“Wh-what're you-” Allen began, squirming in an attempt to ward off the electric warmth that had begun weaving its way through his veins, only for a soft gasp to escape his throat as Allen suddenly became aware of the evidence of arousal they both bore.

Kanda's hand snapped to his hip, another hissed curse falling from his lips as he pinned it to the soft surface below.

“We... we need to stop,” Kanda growled, head still resting on the smaller form's shoulder as he caught his breath.

He was right, a part of Allen knew that to be the case. They shouldn't continue, shouldn't carry on with this in the thoughtless manner that seemed to have taken hold. And yet he couldn't stop himself from allowing a single word to pass his lips. “Why?”

“I can taste the alcohol.” Kanda breathed, drawing back enough to let lust darkened cobalt to meet storm-cloud gray. “I won't be accused of taking advantage of you because you're drunk and on the rebound.”

"I'm not-"Allen began to protest, only to be silenced as Kanda's lips met his once more. This time though, the contact was different.

Gone was the frantic hunger the previous kiss had held, the demanding tongue that swooped in and explored every inch of his mouth like a man starved. Instead, this kiss was soft, the gentleness in the contact something he had never expected Kanda to be capable of, even in his wildest dreams, and he found that it still left him breathless.

"I'd rather not take the chance," Kanda murmured when he finally released the younger's lips once again. Slowly, Kanda moved off of Allen's prone form. Getting to his feet, Allen didn't miss the way his gaze trailed along his form for a brief moment before he tore it away and moved towards the stairwell. “Turn off the light before you head to bed.”

Allen didn't say a word as he watched that elder go, instead just swallowing thickly a few moments after the dark-haired had disappeared.

Several minutes passed in silence, though the lack of sound was scarcely noticed by the room's remaining occupant. His thoughts rang out loudly in his head, the last few minutes replaying over within his skull in an attempt to make sense of them. And yet, regardless of how many times he tried, he found that doing so was easier said than done.

He wasn't sure how long had passed when he finally forced himself to stop thinking and get up, suddenly feeling more drained than he could recall having been before. He was sure to turn off the lamp as Kanda had said before heading upstairs as well.

He wasted little time before slipping into bed. The bed was surprisingly comfortable; the mattress surprisingly soft. He was sure it would typically have been so easy for him to fall asleep, to simply drift into sleep's welcoming warmth – especially with the way the day had all but drained him of energy. He couldn't recall the last time he'd been so tired, been so ready to simply drift into sleep's hold where the recent events – the breakup, the revelation, the

kiss

– couldn't haunt him.

And yet he found sleep eluded him; his mind continuously returning to that one point in time when Kanda's lips had met his own.

S2 S2 S2 S2 S2

It was still early when Allen made his way down the stairs, feeling even more exhausted than he had when he'd first gone upstairs. The predawn glow that entered through the windows was just enough to see by, everything visible as little more than silhouettes, save for the dining room. Golden light filtered through the kitchen's doorway, lighting up the small room.

Kanda must have already been up, he easily figured, not the least bit surprised by the realization.

For a moment he debated, remaining rooted firmly at the bottom of the stairs as he considered whether or not to just go back upstairs and maybe try to sleep a little bit longer.

He was exhausted, perhaps even more so than when he'd gone upstairs the previous night thanks to how much his mind had continued to race, well into the night. He wasn't even sure how long it had lasted before he had finally crashed, his exhaustion winning out over frayed nerves and rapidly racing thoughts.

It didn't take long though before Allen decided against going back up, already knowing he probably wouldn't sleep regardless. And besides, he knew already that he couldn't exactly avoid facing the dark-haired male forever.

Suppressing the sigh that threatened to escape from between pale pink lips, he moved towards the kitchen with a slow stride; a part of him wanting to put off facing the other even just a little bit longer. Reaching the doorway he froze; the desire to return to the bedroom growing tenfold.

Kanda was already there, leaning back against the dark countertop with a cup of steaming liquid held between his hands. Damp ebony locks hung loosely around his shoulders, free for once of the strict confines of the ponytail Allen was so used to seeing. A loose pair of dark gray sweats hung low on his hips, the drawstring the only thing that kept them from falling any lower. His chest was bare, the only thing present there the jagged lines of black ink spreading out over his left shoulder from a partial circle surrounding a strange-looking symbol on his chest.

Just as his presence didn't go unnoticed, neither did Allen's own; dark cobalt hues coming to rest on him in a matter of scant moments, the sharp gaze all but pinning him in place.

Neither spoke, time-stretching on in a silence that seemed to grow more awkward and charged by the second. The way Kanda stared at him, eyes as sharp as ever as they remained locked firm on his slight frame only seemed to add to it, making it difficult for Allen not to shift in discomfort.

Finally, Kanda's gaze relented, the dark haired's eyes shifting away as he gave a quiet huff of mild amusement escaping his throat while the faintest of smirks tugged at one side of his mouth. “Like what you see, Moyashi?” He inquired, the faintest note of teasing amusement lacing his voice.

“Wha-” In an instant Allen bristled, a faint flush warming pale features as he realized what the other must have thought of his staring, He quickly averted his gaze, arms crossing over his chest. “Of course not. H-how about you put a shirt on or something?”

“It's my house,” Kanda stated as a shrug rolled off his shoulders. He paused, gaze momentarily resting on Allen once more as he took a sip from his cup before setting it down on the counter beside him. “You look like shit. Sure you should be up already, Moyashi?”

Allen huffed, trying to force the heat from his cheeks as he moved towards the raised section of the counter, once again taking a seat on one of the stools. “Probably not,” He admitted, suppressing the urge to sigh as he ran one hand through snowy hued locks. He had a feeling Kanda was looking at him, but he didn't dare check to see if he was right, not wanting to risk locking his gaze with the other's own. “I couldn't get back to sleep though, so doesn't really matter.”

A soft grunt was the only acknowledgment Allen received before Kanda turned towards the stove. He watched as Kanda got another cup down and set about making another cup of tea before placing it in front of him. He murmured his thanks, and they soon fell into silence once more.

Allen kept his gaze trained on his cup, watching the warm water change color as the leaves steeped, while Kanda moved about, retrieving things to make breakfast. Allen listened to the sounds the other made as he moved about, and he soon found his mind returning to the same train that had kept him from sleeping.

Should he just... ask Kanda what it all meant?

A part of him wanted to so badly it almost hurt. He didn't want to read more into things than there was, but... The kiss paired with what Kanda had said... it made it difficult not to think Kanda meant he had...

And yet at the same time, it was so hard to imagine such a thing being possible.

Kanda and he had been at each other's throat's practically since the day they met. They had mixed like water and oil; constantly clashing as though driven by nature itself. Sure, there had been the rare moments where they had gotten along, and, though they had been pleasant, to say the least, they had been few and far between and had never lasted long.

It was so much easier to believe that Kanda's 'feelings' stopped at simple desire. Allen knew some found him far more attractive than he felt they should. And though Kanda had often made comments about his 'freakish' appearance that still felt more possible than-

“The fuck are you thinking about, Moyashi?”

Allen gave a startled jolt at the sound of that familiar growl, gaze snapping to the dark-haired male only to find those dark eyes locked on him in a calculative stare.

“Nothing,” he replied, perhaps a bit too quickly.

Kanda's stare became skeptical, one brow raising and he soon gave an incredulous scoff. He set the carton of eggs down on the counter before turning to fully face Allen once more, arms coming up to cross over his well-muscled chest. “Yeah right. You're thinking louder than the damn Usagi. It's distracting.”

Taking a deep breath, Allen held it for a few seconds before letting it out o a quiet sigh as he averted his gaze. “Fine... I just... I'm trying to figure out what you meant last night...”

For a few seconds, Kanda's expression remained skeptical but soon enough to took on an annoyed edge. “You really are an idiot.” He stated, shaking his head a few times before uncrossing his arms and turning back to what he was doing before.

“So you keep telling me,” Allen mumbled in response, removing the infuser from his cup before taking a sip of his tea. “Can you really blame me for not getting it though? I always thought you wanted to kill me and then you...”

Kanda didn't look at Allen, instead continuing to crack eggs into a bowl as he gave a scoff, the sound laced with evident agitation. “You weren't wrong there. What's your point?”

Allen's frown only deepened at that, and for one reason or another, he found the ache in his chest growing ever so slightly. “I'm just... curious what you meant by kissing me is all...”

Kanda paused, glancing back at Allen over his shoulder, gaze calculative as they narrowed ever so slightly. “I thought I was pretty clear, Moyashi.”

“Well, you weren't,” Allen said bluntly, his cup coming to rest atop the counter once again as he ran one hand through snowy locks, a sigh escaping his lips. “You mentioned 'feelings' but that isn't exactly clear, BaKanda.” He paused, momentarily meeting Kanda's gaze again before averting his own once more, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “If all you meant was that you're... attracted to me then just-”

“If all I wanted was to fuck you,” Kanda broke in, his voice punctuated by an egg hitting the counter harder than necessary, and soon followed by a soft swear as the white and yolk dripped from the side. An agitated sigh escaped the dark haired's lips as he continued, one hand reaching for a dish towel as he spoke. “I wouldn't have stopped last night.”

"Oh." Allen's voice was soft, barely above a whisper. He... couldn't tell if the feelings that admission brought with it were disappointment or... something else entirely. Seconds turned to minutes, the only sound the sizzling of eggs in the pan until Kanda was putting the food on two plates.

"Just forget about it, Sprout," He muttered as he placed one plate in front of Allen before sitting on the opposite side of the table.

"But-"

"I said," Kanda's voice was sharp, harsher than even his usual bite as he gave Allen an equally lethal look, but... Allen thought, just beyond that harshness, there seemed to be something else as well-something he couldn't

quite

put his finger on. "forget it."

The tone left no room for argument, and, ignoring the unknown feelings gnawing at his heart, he muttered a quiet 'alright', not even bothering to try.