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Jack got up early that morning to Pack for a wild weekend at Bob Ballard's. His home lie off the coast of Maine in a retro-futuristic sea pod. He knew there would be lots of young beautiful women there and decided to pack his best clothing. Jack walked into his closet to grab the pair of cuff links he had custom made to look like the one’s Regan was buried in. That’s when he noticed a large pink trunk a matching pair of suitcases stacked in the corner next to a makeshift bed. That's when Dagny walked out of the built in master bathroom wearing Jack’s bathrobe. He was shocked to see him, to say the least... “Jack!” Dagny said feeling embarrassed. “Dagny! Have you been living in here? Is that my bathrobe!” Jack yelled slightly annoyed. “Uhhhh! I’m Sorry Jack! But after we stuck it to Banks, he stuck it to me. Both literally and metaphorically! He bought my building and hiked my rent way up so I was forced to move out and put all my stuff in storage. And in my defense your sex and the city esque closest is ridiculously big. It’s like bigger than the one Big made for Carrie! I mean -- it even has a bathroom!” “While I’m sure there’s a joke in here about you being forced back into a closet! But I don’t have time for this. I’m going out of town for a convention.” “Really. I didn’t see that on your schedule!” “We’ll, it’s a secret convention!” Dagny could tell Jack was lying. Maybe it was because he had been watching allot of the mentalist lately. But almost telepathically he knew What Jack was up too. “Gasp! Your planning on having sex while your out of town!” “What! No i’m not!” “Yes you are! I know when a man is lying to me Jack, not cool! I did tub stuff to you!” Dangy put his anger aside trying to keep calm. “Look I don’t want to talk about this now! You’re going to miss your flight! Pause and To be continued mister!” Jack took the out Dagny was giving him and grabbed his cuff links. “Fine. I promise we’ll have a serious talk when I get back. About our relationship and you possibly moving out of my closet! Just be sure you close the window in the bathroom before-” Before he could finish that sentence a forceful gust of wind came rushing through Jack’s closest and slammed the doors shut trapping them both inside. “No!” Jack screamed. Jack began pounding on the doors. Doing everything to get them open. “Are you going to sit there or are you going to help me?” Jack screamed. “Oh sure I’ll help you. After we have the talk!” “Maybe I can pry the doors open with one of my shoe horns!” Jack said looking around his closet trying to find a way out! ‘OH MY GOD! You are such a textbook example of a repressed Irish catholic. Is it really so hard for you to have an adult conversation about our sexual relationship! What are we? Are we boyfriends? Are we Friend’s with Benefits?” “First off I’m fifty two, I think i’m a little old to be calling you my boyfriend!” Jack said. “Well then what are we Jack. Because I’m in my late 20’s which is gay forties! And I’m at a point in my life where I have to start getting serious with my relationships.” “Dagny I had no idea you felt that way.” “Well, I do. Don’t you? I mean, i'm 27 and all I know is that I'm tired of going to bed alone, arnt you?. Don’t you wanna start stetting down with someone someday?” “I don’t know. I mean someday! It’s just when I did I always pictured it being-” “With a woman?” Dagny finished his sentence for him. This revelation was devastating to him. “I feel like I should be singing a Judy Collins song right now! I thought you’ed want what I want. Sorry my dear…” Tears began to swell in Dagny’s eyes. Jack took out one of his golf clubs and began banging on the closet door. Hoping he could open it and escape this closest of emotions. A short time Later Dagny locked himself in the Bathroom so Jack couldn’t see him cry. Jack lie on a pile of fur coats getting drunk on the scotch he had hidden in an old shoe box. He was half into the bottle when he realized he had had his phone in his pocket the whole time! He called Liz hoping she could come over and let him and Dagny out of the closet. He dialed her number. “Lemon. I need you to come over and help me out of the closet!” “Whuck?” She replied in her usual Lemon jargon. “A gust of wind from my bathroom came and blew the closet door shut. It’s stuck and I can't get it open!” Jack explained. “Oh my god are you okay?” Liz asked. “Yes my closet is ridiculously enormous. Dagny described it as (Sex and the City-esque)” “You Jag! I bet it’s bigger than the one Big built for Carrie!” Liz cried enviously. “You have no idea! There’s a bathroom in here. One Dagny has currently lock himself in!” “Oh no! What did you do?” Liz scolded. “I simply explained to him that I never imagined myself marrying a man, and before i knew it things got… emotional! He’s been in there for twenty minutes listening to send in the clowns. Oh he stopped.” “Ugh hold on I got another call!” Liz said as she looked down at her phone. It was Dagny! “Oh no Jack it’s Dagny!” “Don’t answer it Lemon it;s a trap!” Jack screamed. “Oh no I put it on group chat. What it wrong with me!” Liz said frustrated. “Liz I don’t know what Jack told you, but this is all his fault!” Dagny cried. “Dagny please come out of the bathroom! I’m sorry for what I said!” Said Jack facing the bathroom door while he spoke to Dagny on the group chat. “Jack I’m going to tell you what my mother told me when I broke her priceless glass bell collection. Just because you say you're sorry, doesn't make it any better!” “That is a haunting childhood memory Dagny!” Liz gasped. “You don’t know the half of it! My siblings and I lived in an attic for most of my childhood! It’s probably why i'm so comfortable living in Jack’s closet.” “Oh my god!" Jack Screamed. “Dagny you never told me that!" “Well I bet you didn't know I'm a twin less twin too." “Wait why are you living in Jack’s closet! Don’t you have an apartment in that building where they filmed Rosemary’s Baby?” “Devon bought my building and kicked me out for revenge!” “And Jack’s not letting you crash in one of his dozens of guest rooms! ” Liz lemon said in formidably sardonic tone of voice; making it clear she was speaking to Jack. There was a long pause. Dagny opened the bathroom door and looked at Jack like he wanted to kill him. “Well I…” Jack paused. “Jack I’ve been to your place. It has an east wing and a west wing! Be a human being and offer your personal assistant slash body servant a place to crash until he lands on his feet.” Liz yelled into the phone. “Look I don’t have time to be the Janet in this fucked up locked room episode of three’s company. I have to put my princess leia costume on and get ready for jury duty." “Dammit! you’re not wrong Lemon. Dagny would you like to stay in one of my guest rooms until you find a place to live?” Jack asked. “Me? living with Jack Donaghy? I’ll be the envey of the log cabin republicans! But how are we gonna get out of here?” “You two both have cell-phones. Call 91! or the fire department, duh!” Liz told them. That said Liz hung up. “Oh, yea! God I can’t believe it took us this long to come up with the most obvious solution!” Said Dagny. Dagney hung up and called the fire department. They arrived a short time later and broke the door down setting theme both free. At last they were able to come out of the closet. “I know this won’t make what I said any less hurtful, but I’m really sorry I said that. But I didn’t want to lie to you. I just don’t like to put labels on things!” Said Jack. “Nope hipster nonsense!” Dagny replied. “Jack you have to admit there’s something going on between us. You have to put definitions on things. Otherwise how are you going to introduce me to people? I have to be something to you! I know it!” “Well how about I used what Lemon defined you as, and introduce you to people as my Body servant!” “Jack Donaghy's body servant! You know I think I’m good with that! I like it allot better than domestic partners. It just makes it sound like we clean houses together!” Jack let out one of those cute little giggles of his as they strolled out of the closest together. Master and Body servant….