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Darcy was staring down at the little stick in her hands, mouth open and eyes wide. She was certain she must have screamed or something, because Jane was pounding on the bathroom door and demanding to be let in. Even JARVIS was (politely) demanding to know that she was alright, because her vitals were all over the place. Her brain didn't seem to be functioning at all. She couldn't move, couldn't really think, and definitely could not respond to questions about anything, much less her health and well-being. Ever since those two little lines had started forming, she'd been staring at the pee-stick in shock and awe."Darcy Lewis, if you don't open this door RIGHT NOW, I'm going to get Thor to knock it down!" Jane shouted, pounding on the door as hard as she could. That wasn't what snapped Darcy out of her weird shock-trance-thing, though. No, it was the thought of her health that did it. She really needed to go see Bruce and make sure the little thing inside of her was healthy and getting everything it needed. She couldn't even think the word, much less say it out loud."I'm fine, J, please open the door," she whispered, stepping out to face Jane as soon as the door slid open. Jane was staring at her hesitantly, worry written all over her face. She looked for all the world like she wanted to hug Darcy and check her over for injuries, but she was very plainly afraid of both hurting Darcy more, and her reaction to being touched. Darcy was sure the look on her face must be amusing to see. Without saying a word, she shoved the pee-stick into Jane's hand and waited for a response. The response was Jane dropping the stick with a disgusted look which then morphed into wide eyes and a huge grin. Darcy picked the stick back up before accepting the hug that Jane could no longer hold back."Oh my god! Congratulations!" she squealed, hugging Darcy tightly. Darcy offered a small smile, still not quite ready to try talking. She was pretty sure all that would come out was a very unattractive squeaking sound, and she had a reputation to maintain. Jane seemed to understand.Instead of going to find her boyfriend to share the good news, Darcy found herself down in the labs with Bruce. She handed him the pee-stick just like she had with Jane, but he didn't drop it in disgust. He just gave her an understanding look (which really, did she look that bad?), and nodded. She hadn't noticed that Tony was there until he opened his mouth and promptly shoved his entire foot into it."Shit, Lewis, don't you and Barton know how to use birth control? I can't imagine a mini-you running around here, much less a mini-Barton," he joked, smirking at her. Later, Darcy would claim that it was the hormones. Instead of the normal snarking that would usually follow one of Tony's ill-conceived jokes, she burst into tears. She didn't manage to calm down again until Bruce and JARVIS had both yelled at Tony, and Jane had brought Thor down to make sure she was okay. Apparently, JARVIS had a soft spot for pregnant women (or maybe just Darcy) and felt the need to inform the people Darcy felt safest with when she was upset or needed something."He won't say anything even remotely like that again," Jane promised, glaring at the closed door Tony had retreated behind. Darcy just nodded and let Jane hug her again. The pregnancy test lay forgotten on one of the lab tables, as Bruce set up an ultrasound machine that Darcy really did not want to know why they had."This is a joyous occasion, Lady Darcy!" Thor exclaimed, never one for silence or awkwardness. "We shall have a celebration!""Thanks, big guy, but I kind of just want to sleep right now," Darcy admitted. She'd been tired before she even took the test, and she had to pee again. She was really hoping that wouldn't be a thing."Darce, I really hate to ask this, but it's kind of important... were you and Clint actually trying to conceive?" Bruce asked quietly, glancing sheepishly at Thor and Jane. As if Darcy cared who heard her talk about this."Well, yeah. Thankfully, this isn't as big a shock as I'm making it out to be. I mean, we just decided to try a couple weeks ago, but I stopped taking the pill three months ago. I've always wanted kids, and I knew he did too. Not that we weren't using any protection at all until a couple weeks ago! I just wanted to get the birth control out of my system before I asked him to try," she replied, blushing at the end. That had been one of the most awkward conversations she and Clint had ever had."Okay, good. And is there a reason he isn't here right now?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow. Darcy looked at the ground."I took the test about five minutes before I came down here, Doc. I jumped right from 'Oh god, I'm pregnant' to 'Oh god, what if the... what if it isn't healthy?'" She was sure nobody missed her hesitation about saying the word, but she just... she couldn't, okay? Not until she knew this was completely okay."Right, well, let's take a look, shall we?" he agreed, holding up the wand for the ultrasound. She nodded and lifted her shirt for him.~~It was totally her intention to find Clint next. It was, really. But instead, she found herself in the kitchen for three hours baking cookies. Darcy was a stress-baker. When she was worried about anything, the whole tower ended up smelling like a bakery. There was always enough for everybody, and usually a pretty big variety. Today was no different. She'd just finished the chocolate chip cookie batter when Pepper walked in and found her looking lost and afraid. (She was allowed to look that way; she'd just gotten life-changing news.)"Darcy, is everything okay? Nobody is hurt, right?" she asked immediately. Darcy could hear the concern in her voice and it almost made her smile. Almost."No, nobody is hurt. I'm just... working through some things," she replied, shrugging. She offered Pepper the mixing spoon, but she declined. Fine, more for Darcy. "I just found out that I'm pregnant.""Oh. Oh," Pepper replied, sinking onto one of the stools Steve had placed against the far counter. They usually all ate breakfast together on those stools, but half of the team was across the world at that moment, and the others were scattered around the tower. Actually, Darcy didn't even know where to look for Clint. Natasha would probably know."It was planned. Still, it's kind of surprising," she added. Pepper nodded, starting to smile. "And Tony is an asshole." There went the smile."What did he do this time?" she asked, sounding resigned."He insulted my... he just shoved his foot in his mouth like usual," she said quietly, laying a hand on her stomach. As soon as she realized what she'd done, she jerked the hand away as though it had been burnt. Pepper gave her a weird look, but didn't make any comment."I'll talk to him. He knows better," she replied, a hard look in her eyes. Darcy nodded, turning back to her cookies. She really wasn't sure what was wrong. She wanted this, so why was she being so weird about it? She didn't even hear Pepper leaving.~~Natasha found her that night, lounging on the couch and eating ice cream while she watched Pitch Perfect by herself. She was crying again, but there was no reason for it. The hormones sucked. Also, she had to pee again. "I heard. Congratulations," Nat said, sitting down beside her with her own spoon. Darcy didn't protest when she started eating, only because she valued her life. If it were anyone but Natasha, they would have lost their hand."Thanks," she said quietly, wiping her eyes and offering the rest of the carton to Nat. Natasha frowned at her, not taking it."He doesn't know? Or did he do something to you?" she asked immediately. Darcy shook her head."I can't find him. I wanted to tell him all day, but I can't find him anywhere, and I know that means I won't see him for a few days. I feel like I'm not allowed to be happy about this until he is, too. And he can't be happy if he doesn't know, and he can't know until I can find him!" she blurted, crying again."Oh, honey," Nat whispered, uncharacteristically pulling her into a tight hug. "You can be happy whether he is or not. And if he's not, he's a bigger idiot than I ever knew. He's an idiot for hiding at all, but I'm sure he'll be back by tomorrow at the latest. You can be happy, Darcy. This is your first child, the start of the rest of your life. Hell, even I would be happy in your place."She couldn't speak again, could just hold Nat tightly and cry. She let it all out, and Natasha let her without saying another word. And when she was all done crying, they finished the ice cream together and watched The Princess Bride.~~Steve and Bucky found her the next morning, sitting at the counter and staring at the pregnancy test again as though it had offended her. She was pouting, and her normally perfect hair was a mess. She hadn't even started breakfast like she usually would. Clint had not turned up overnight, and she was back to feeling guilty for being happy without him."Darcy?" Steve asked cautiously, afraid to startle her or piss her off. She jumped and almost fell off of the stool, dropping the stick onto the floor as she caught herself against the counter."Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I'll start cooking now. Pancakes sound good?" she babbled, hurriedly picking up the stick and shoving it into her pocket. Unfortunately, both men had super-vision, and they'd both seen the positive result. They were both smiling at her, though Bucky's was much more reserved."Don't worry about it! We'll cook today. You just sit and enjoy," Steve told her, patting her shoulder. Bucky went to get the ingredients out while Steve turned the stove on."Hey... you guys haven't seen Clint, have you?" she asked quietly, not meeting their eyes. They both frowned at her."No, not since yesterday morning. Why, did he run off or something?" Bucky replied, his voice a bit hard as he controlled his anger. She was hoping he was mad at Clint and not her, because she didn't think she could deal with angry superheroes this morning."Nah, I haven't seen him since then, either. He didn't have anything to run off about at that point," she admitted. "I've been trying to find him, to maybe give him an actual reason to disappear other than his absurd need to scare everyone to death.""Well, if we see him, we'll send him your way," Steve assured her. She nodded her thanks.~~He didn't turn up that day, either. By then, she knew he was hiding in a vent somewhere, but probably not in the tower. She had a job to get to, anyways, so she'd probably find him there at some point if he didn't turn up on his own.As she was getting ready, she realized she wouldn't be able to keep her job at SHIELD for much longer. She could take care of herself, but there was no way she was going to endanger her child. My baby, she thought for the first time. I'm having a baby. There is a little life growing inside of me, and I need to keep it safe no matter what. No more SHIELD job for me. Instead of heading straight for her desk when she arrived, she made a beeline for Coulson's office. Since he was her direct boss, he was the one she'd need to give her notice to. She really wasn't sure how much notice was required, but she was hoping a few months was enough. She didn't want to be there when she started showing, because she knew that was when the problems would start. (She'd think about getting an apartment away from the tower later, when she didn't have to worry about Clint never being seen again. Maybe a place that didn't have any kind of vents for him to get lost in.)She didn't knock, because she never did. Why start now? She walked straight in and dropped herself on the unoccupied chair across the desk from Coulson, waiting for him to look up at her. She had two goals for this visit: resign and find out if he knew where Clint was."Ms. Lewis, I assume it's important?" he asked, finally looking up at her. She nodded, her expression neutral."Life or death, actually," she admitted. "I need to know where Clint is. Please tell me you know."He had that constipated look that he wore when she started talking about the time he stole her iPod, which made her think that he knew something but had been asked not to say. She was hoping he'd realize how deathly serious she was about needing to find him, because she was starting to worry that he actually had gotten lost in the ceiling. The last time that had happened, he'd been trapped for five days before anyone realized what was going on. And that person had been Phil, who had promptly found him, gotten him out, and yelled until his face turned purple. Clint hadn't gone back into the vents for months after that incident."I'm sorry, Ms. Lewis," he finally said, frowning slightly. She nodded, knowing that he was going to be more loyal to Clint than herself. They'd been friends forever, while Darcy was still relatively new to the picture. "Was there anything else?" She didn't miss the look he shot at the ceiling, and her stomach clenched. He was up there, listening to every word and not letting on that he was right fucking there. Maybe it was just the hormones, but that seriously pissed her off."I need to inform you that I'll be leaving SHIELD in a few months, permanently. I recently got some news about my health. It's no longer a good idea for me to be here," she snapped, glaring at his desk. She missed the way he paled, before he managed to pull himself together."I trust everything is okay?" he asked, his voice almost completely steady. Again, she was going to blame the hormones for her horrible behavior. No way would she have done any of what happened next if she'd been in her right mind. Probably. Oh, who was she kidding?"I'm dying," she stated, meeting his eyes with her serious expression unfazed. She'd once been told that she was an amazing actress (by Natasha, no less), so it was no shock when Coulson completely believed her. And technically, it was true. They were all dying, getting closer to their deaths every day. She just wasn't actually in immediate danger of hers.Coulson's face stayed composed, but only just. His lips tightened into an extremely thin line and he regarded her with a closed-off expression, as though he were trying to pull himself back to avoid being hurt later on. She couldn't blame him for that; she'd done the same thing when her childhood best friend had gotten cancer. It didn't help her at all when he died, though. And now was not the time to think about that, because the last thing she needed was to start crying. (And damn it, she had to pee again! She was going to kill Clint later.)While Coulson worked very hard to not react, she heard the tiles on the ceiling slide around until Clint dropped down right in front of her, immediately falling to his knees to inspect her. Which put him in perfect slapping range. She hit him so hard that her own hand hurt."You fucking bastard! Do you know how worried I've been?! I've been looking for you for three days!" she shouted, glaring at him and shaking her hand. He held his cheek and stared at her with wide eyes. "I thought you got lost or hurt again, and there was no way for me to find you to help! And I'm fucking hormonal as hell, and I always have to fucking pee, and worrying about you is NOT HELPING!" "Darcy..." he gasped, staring at her in complete shock."I'm pregnant, you asshole! And I couldn't be happy about it, because I've been spending my time freaking out about you! Do you know how fucking hard that's been?" she demanded, completely ignoring her Coulson sized audience as she hit him again, this time on the shoulder (and less hard, because her hand still hurt)."Darcy," he said again, eyes still wide but starting to smile."Don't you fucking dare! You don't get to be happy yet! You get to apologize and explain what the hell happened," she snapped, finally done with the yelling. He nodded, unable to stop the smile that had spread across his whole face. She sighed, unable to stay angry with him."I'm sorry, Darcy. I didn't know that was going on, or you know I would have been there," he started. "It's the... it's been five years now since Loki. I just thought I'd take some time for myself, to work through it. I should have talked with you instead, like I did last year. It helped more than this ever did.""You idiot," she stated, rolling her eyes. "Natasha was right about that." And then she pulled him into a kiss, finally able to be happy without any guilt whatsoever. She'd completely forgotten where they were, until Coulson cleared his throat."Since I'm assuming your life is not in immediate danger, I'm going to have to ask you to take this somewhere else. We'll finish this discussion tomorrow, Ms. Lewis. Mr. Barton, I expect you in at the usual time starting next week," he stated, giving them a pointed look.And really, it was the hormones. She will swear on her life that it's the hormones that make her find this whole thing suddenly hilarious, when anyone asks. And it helps that Clint is laughing just as hard as she is, while they basically hold each other up. Coulson just rubs his forehead exasperatedly, wondering when this became his life.