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It seemed like perfectly normal afternoon when Zi Wei arrived at Qian Qing Gong. She was announced and shown into the imperial study where Yong Qi sat pouring over reports.He was grateful for the excuse for a break, and left his desk to join Zi Wei over a cup of tea. Whatever it was that brought his sister here, surely it would be more interesting than the squabbles over jurisdiction between two officials overseeing some building works in the capital. “We’ve gone through all the niceties,” Yong Qi said as he sat down. “What did you want to discuss with me?”“What makes you think I had any in particular to discuss?” she asked, at least appearing unperturbed. Yong Qi laughed. “You are usually so proper, Zi Wei. Whenever you come into the palace, you’d go pay respect to the empress or empress dowager first. You came here first today for a reason.”For some reason, Zi Wei’s expression turned apologetic. “Right,” she said, “so you know our family hosted Borjigit Jilalida a few months ago? Just during my talks with his wife, she was quite interested in Zhuang Nan.”Yong Qi narrowed his eyes. “Interested? How interested?”“Well, there were several times when she brought up Nan Er, just asking about her interests, her studies, things like that. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because it was all just small talk, and I did tell her that I am fond of Nan Er. But it occurred to me during a conversation recently with Er Kang that she might have had other intentions.”Yong Qi couldn’t help but feel his heart sink a little. It was, of course, only too easy to understand what such intentions might be, but he asked, nonetheless, “Such as?”“Don’t you think it’s possible that the Korchin Borjigits want to propose marriage? Their son, Sedanba, is a couple of years older than Nan Er. I think Jilalida’s wife was trying to gauge whether Nan Er has a standing betrothal.”“She’s still too young,” Yong Qi replied dismissively.Zi Wei smiled sympathetically. “She’s your daughter, so she’s too young to you. But she’ll be twelve soon, and if she is to marry into Mongolia, the negotiations of the betrothal will take a couple of years at least. She really isn’t young for that at all.”Yong Qi sighed. As reluctant as he was to consider this, this was an issue he had been aware of for far too long. He had put off seriously thinking about it, as if by doing that he could somehow command the issue to disappear altogether. Maybe power really was getting to him.“I know,” Yong Qi said with a heavy heart. “Honestly, it might just be wistful thinking, but I had been hoping I’d have another couple of years at least before I had to deal with any of that.”Then again, that hope was probably also at least four years old. It wasn’t as if the subject had never come up between him and Xiao Yan Zi either, though the last time they spoke of it, they had convinced themselves they still had time yet.“I suppose you could put it off a little,” Zi Wei said, speaking the logic that Yong Qi was too well aware of, “but then you’re risking proposals coming knocking. If you don’t have a backup plan, I’m afraid that you might find yourself in a position where it might be undiplomatic to refuse.”“Xiao Yan Zi would never agree to marry Zhuang Nan off to Mongolia, Zi Wei,” he said, pointing out the obvious. “The ideal, of course, would be to allow Nan Er to grow up and choose for herself, but if I’m being honest with myself, that is not just a little unrealistic. We lucked out ourselves on that.”“It is unrealistic,” Zi Wei agreed. “After all, which of our siblings had that luxury?”“But Mongolia…we’ve already had this conversation. It was an argument, really. Xiao Yan Zi really would fight against a Mongolian marriage with all that she has. There is no way she would agree to it.”“Of course I sympathise with Xiao Yan Zi’s feelings, even more so when I know that after having Nan Er, you and Xiao Yan Zi had such a difficult few years. It’s only natural that it makes her even more protective of Nan Er and Nan Er’s happiness.”Zi Wei paused to take a sip of tea, but Yong Qi knew there was a ‘but’ coming.“But – “ and there it was – “Nan Er is also your first-born child, your eldest daughter. The empress does not have children, so among the princes and princesses, Nan Er holds the highest position. It might come to that sacrifices will be required of her.”“You’re saying all of this, but why do I feel like I’m hearing Er Kang’s voice?”Zi Wei only gave an apologetic smile.Yong Qi could not be angry at either of them for bringing this up and making him think about it, of course. He really had been deluding himself to think that he could put this off, and as unpleasant as it was to have to consider it at all, denial wasn’t going to help him or be good for his daughter in the long run. “I think that Xiao Yan Zi does understand Nan Er’s position, but understanding doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easier to accept. To be honest, I don’t want to send Nan Er that far away either, though I do have to acknowledge that of all my sisters, only you didn’t have to make a Mongolian marriage.”Zi Wei smiled wryly. “I’m pretty sure no Mongolian prince ever wanted me.”“That is their shortcoming, not yours.”Zi Wei shook her head. “If you can believe it, when I was small, I was a bit like Xiao Yan Zi.”That made Yong Qi laugh. “I cannot believe it.”“No, I’m serious! My mother had very high expectations for my education, from a very young age. But the lessons were so long and everything was difficult. Practicing the qin hurt my fingers and before you develop the skills to play anything decent, you end up just practicing very repetitive scales which was boring. So I hated it at first. It didn’t help that everyone around us talked. They all said that my mother was delusional to teach me so much.”“Zi Wei…” Yong Qi interjected uneasily.“No, Brother, I am no longer bitter about it,” Zi Wei said. He was only slightly assured by the calmness in her voice. Still, he let her speak, because there wasn’t much he could say after all these years that could be real comfort if she really was distressed. “But at the time, the talk did hurt. Even when I was too young to really understand what it all meant. I just remember…I was maybe nine or ten, and I didn’t want to practice the qin. So I childishly repeated to my mother the kind of things I’ve heard the neighbours said. I mean, I don’t think I told her to her face that the neighbours thought she was shameless because after she couldn’t keep whatever man she’d seduced, she’s still teaching me to follow in her footsteps, but I suppose I said enough, about how useless I thought the lessons were. She just went still. I don’t think I would ever see my mother so stricken. Her face was absolutely white and I still remember thinking that she might hit me for the first time in my life.”Zi Wei heaved a sigh. Despite the claims that she was no longer bitter by the past, it was clear that speaking of it still brought on sadness.“My mother didn’t hit me. She just held me and cried. And I think that was the first moment when I realised that no matter whether what people said were true or false, their words were still a spectre hovering over me. They would affect me, no matter what. Over the next few years, it just became clearer to me. No one in Jinan would have ever dreamt of marrying me.” Here, she paused and gave a smile laced with another sigh. “So honestly, later, even after Huang Ah Ma acknowledged me, it wasn’t entirely shocking that no Mongolian prince ever asked for me.”“It’s hard to ask for you when you were engaged to Er Kang from the moment Huang Ah Ma acknowledged you,” Yong Qi pointed out with a smile, attempting to lighten the mood.“True,” Zi Wei replied, smiling too, to Yong Qi’s relief. “But even if I wasn’t…it wouldn’t have been any different...”“But Nan Er’s situation is very different,” Yong Qi concluded for Zi Wei as she trailed off.“Yes.”“I’m not sure Xiao Yan Zi would like to impose an arranged marriage on Nan Er much more than an alliance marriage, honestly.”Zi Wei nodded in agreement. Still, she pointed out, “But at least it would give you some choice over who she marries.”Yong Qi didn’t often take for granted the time he spent with his children, particularly now when he had to consciously carve out such time between all his responsibilities. That evening, he headed towards Cheng Qian Gong, feeling even more anxious to see Zhuang Nan, as if the conversation he had earlier with his sister had put a countdown on the time he still had left with her being unequivocally his daughter.He arrived to find her animatedly recounting to Xiao Yan Zi how she had learnt to jump her horse over an obstacle that day.“Xiang He Gege let me borrow his horse Bei Feng to practice with,” Zhuang Nan said over dinner. “Xiang He Gege said, Bei Feng is more suited for jumping, and he showed me the best way to prepare the horse for the approach and the best way to keep seated if he bucks on the getaway – ““Jie, Si Di and I know all of this. We were there, remember?” Mian Ren complained, cutting Zhuang Nan off mid-sentence. “Do you have to retell every single second of it?”“I’m not telling you about it!” Zhuang Nan said loudly and indignantly. “I’m telling Huang Ah Ma and E’niang!”“Nan Er, don’t yell at the dinner table please,” Xiao Yan Zi said. As always, her attempts to calm Zhuang Nan’s overly excitable moments came off as half-hearted. Yong Qi, partly because he admittedly had a rather soft spot for the ways their oldest daughter resembled her mother, had given up on the efforts long ago. Only fears that being like her would somehow disadvantage Zhuang Nan in life drove Xiao Yan Zi to try and keep up with it, to limited effect. Zhuang Nan could play the part of the demure princess when it was demanded of her in public, but within her mother’s palace, she never seemed to think it was worth the effort.“I wouldn’t have yelled if San Di didn’t interrupt,” Zhuang Nan complained, though she did lower her volume.Mian Ren opened his mouth to retort, which was Yong Qi’s cue to halt it.“Mian Ren, you know you should drop it.”His son gave an exaggerated sigh but thankfully, did drop it.“It was good to see Xiang He Gege show Jiejie all the tricks, though,” Mian Xuan spoke up, attempting to restore the peace. “He did say it to all of us, it’s just that Jiejie was already on Bei Feng. And the horse master said that Xiang He Gege had good form and that we should learn from him.”“Except that Jiejie monopolises all his time all the time,” Mian Ren apparently couldn’t help adding. “That’s because he actually teaches me stuff,” Zhuang Nan said. “All the masters at the imperial stables are all so worried I’d fall and get hurt and they’d be blamed for it that all they seem to want me to do is take laps around the compound. It’s boring. Besides, you see Xiang He Gege all the time. I don’t know what you’re complaining about.”“I wanted to ask him to explain the homework that Shifu gave for tomorrow. But you were talking to him all the time and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise!”“You know, Ren Er,” Xiao Yan Zi said, only to stop Zhuang Nan arguing back, “your Huang Ah Ma is quite learnt. You could ask Huang Ah Ma to explain your homework.”Mian Ren ducked his head. “Huang Ah Ma is busy. I would not wish to disturb Huang Ah Ma.”Yong Qi laughed. “Mian Ren, believe me, taking half an hour to help you with your homework is a far more productive endeavour than sitting here listening to you argue with your sister about who has more right to Fu Xiang He’s time. As fond as I am of him, he is not quite so interesting to me as he apparently is to both of you.”Zhuang Nan, for some reason, looked extremely offended at the idea that Yong Qi did not wish to spend the whole of dinner talking about Fu Xiang He.“You know, if anyone ever doubts Mian Ren is your son, I have the perfect proof to show that he certainly is,” Yong Qi said later to Xiao Yan Zi.“If anyone doubts he is my son?” she asked, incredulous. “If there was doubt – and if you dare imply that you do, I’ll punch you, emperor or not – wouldn’t it usually be whether he is yours or not?” Yong Qi chuckled and leaned in to kiss her cheek. Then, he said, “You know what he said to me just after I explained his lesson to him?”“What?”“He said, E’niang was right. Huang Ah Ma, you are quite learnt!”Xiao Yan Zi laughed. “It’s a compliment, isn’t it?”“You did not mean it was a compliment, and neither did he.”“I’m hurt you don’t think I meant to compliment you.”“You were only trying to stop their argument escalating even more. And he was grinning like a little monkey, looking the splitting image of you, before he ran off, the rascal.”Xiao Yan Zi giggled. “You’d hate it if they felt like they couldn’t be cheeky with you, admit it.”“True,” Yong Qi said with a mock sigh, the effect of which was ruined by the smile playing at the corner of his lips.However, his children’s argument over dinner only brought on a new dimension to the conversation he had earlier with Zi Wei. He wished he needn’t worry Xiao Yan Zi about it, but Zi Wei was right. It was past the time when they could brush it off and hope that the issue would never come up.“Zi Wei came over to talk to me today, about Nan Er’s marriage,” he said later, once they were both dressed for bed and the servants had withdrew. “Nan Er’s marriage?” Xiao Yan Zi exclaimed, a crinkle appearing on her forehead. “Why would Zi Wei want to discuss with you about Nan Er’s marriage? Why does she want to discuss Nan Er’s marriage in the first place? Nan Er’s not even twelve yet!”“All my sisters except Zi Wei were married by sixteen, Xiao Yan Zi. Zi Wei advises and I think she has a point, that we do need to start seriously consider options for her now.”“She’s too young to make any sort of informed decision herself, so by options, you mean we should just arrange a match for her, don’t you?” Xiao Yan Zi said, wrinkling her nose, clearly disliking the idea immensely. “Why now? We still have time, don’t we? Can’t we just let her grow up without an arranged marriage that she can’t escape hanging over her head?”“I would love to think we do, but I have to admit we don’t have as much time as we would like,” Yong Qi said, taking Xiao Yan Zi’s hand to keep her seated, because there was very high chance that this conversation would send her stomping around the room. “I don’t relish the idea of her growing up so fast, either, but Zi Wei reminded me today that as my eldest child, Nan Er is a very attractive prospect for a Mongolian prince, particularly when the empress has no child of her own. If we don’t prepare for the future, soon a Mongolian proposal might come or the officials in court will start talking about marrying her off to Mongolia. When that idea is brought up, given her position, we will have very little way out. The only way to avoid future conversations about marrying Nan Er off to Mongolia where we’ll hardly ever see her is if she is already betrothed by the time such conversations come in.”“Why should old men in court care who my daughter marries?” Xiao Yan Zi grumbles. “No one except us was that overjoyed when she was born. I wish they would just stick to that and leave her alone now.”Yong Qi smiled weakly and reached out to squeeze her hand. “I wish for that too, Xiao Yan Zi, but wishing won’t stop what is going to come.”“You can allow me to be bitter about it for a minute, at least.” She glared at the wall across from her as Yong Qi tried to soothe her by stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Xiao Yan Zi blew out a harsh breath and whipped her head to look at him. “And why is it that to avoid one arranged marriage, we must force her into another arranged marriage? How is that a solution anyway?”“Well, the idea is that we might have more choices to choose from if we take the initiative ourselves, and therefore retain our own power over the choice. And of course, if we choose now, we could choose someone we could be sure would make her happy.”“She’s not twelve yet,” Xiao Yan Zi repeated, speaking exaggeratedly slow, as if Yong Qi could somehow forget his daughter’s age. “There is no way of knowing who would make her happy.” “I don’t think the Fu family would necessarily be a bad bet,” Yong Qi pointed out.Xiao Yan Zi stared at him for a long moment. “You want to marry Nan Er to the Fu family?”“Isn’t that the obvious choice?”“Who?”“Xiao Yan Zi, have you listened to our daughter lately? Every time she opens her mouth, it’s Xiang He Gege this and Xiang He Gege that. Honestly, I’m surprised we haven’t reached the point where we have no choice but to marry her to Xiang He.”Xiao Yan Zi snorted. “Now I know you’re not being serious.”“All right, we haven’t reached that point,” Yong Qi agreed, “but I wasn’t entirely joking about Xiang He either, Xiao Yan Zi. He wouldn’t be the worst match in the world for Nan Er.”“I know,” Xiao Yan Zi admitted, sighing. “I just…I feel like if we make the decision for her now, and she ends up unhappy, she’d blame us for it.”“They like each other well enough. I don’t think they’d be miserable together.”Xiao Yan Zi scoffed. “They're barely twelve years old. She likes him because he isn’t intimidated by her and is willing to teach her cool horse-riding tricks. He probably wants to show off by teaching her too. It hardly means they’ll be happy in marriage.”“It doesn’t mean they won’t be, either.”“You don’t even know if Er Tai and Sai Ya would agree to this marriage.”Yong Qi laughed. “It’s Er Tai. You know that if I asked, he would say yes, right?”“Because your asking is pretty much an imperial edict, or because you’re friends?”“I would like to think the latter. In any case, do you think Er Tai and Sai Ya could have anything against Zhuang Nan?”“Of course I know they like her, as much as I like Xiang He. If Nan Er and Xiang He grow up and decide to marry, I won’t have a thing to say against it. I just don’t want to decide for her and make her feel like if she doesn’t like it, she still has to obey us.”“We could make it clear to Nan Er – to both her and Xiang He – that this does not have to be binding. When they are grown, if they decide they don’t want this engagement, it isn’t as if any of us are going to hold death over them to make them honour it.” Xiao Yan Zi was quiet for a long time. When she spoke, it was in a much softer tone than he expected. “You’ve thought a lot about this.”“Only today, admittedly, but the conversation with Zi Wei was a bit of a reality check.”“Of course Zi Wei would speak to you first.”The way her voice sounded faraway concerned him. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you angry that she spoke to me without telling you?”Xiao Yan Zi shook her head. “No. It’s Xiao Yan Zi management, really.”“Xiao Yan Zi management?”She rolled her eyes. “I know you two developed a system where you discuss things first and then decide which of you should placate me over them. Xiao Yan Zi management.”“And you think this is me placating you?”“Isn’t it?” she asked.“I want Nan Er to be happy too, Xiao Yan Zi.” “I know,” she whispered. She sniffed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Is there really no way out of this?”“Honestly, it does feel a bit like I’m being overly paranoid. But then again, I don’t want us to be caught off guard and then be forced to say yes to something we know won’t make her happy,” Yong Qi replied. “E’niang said to me, once, that when she decided to leave the palace, she was forcing herself to plan in the long term for my sake. We must make long term considerations for our children, too, Xiao Yan Zi.” “In that case, I suppose,” Xiao Yan Zi said with a great sigh, “Fu Xiang He would be a decent enough son-in-law.”Yong Qi looked intently at Er Tai across the table. “Will you accept her?” he probed, when his friend simply stared back.Er Tai shook himself. “I’m sorry, I’m just trying to figure out if this is an order or not.”If they were lesser friends, Yong Qi would have been offended. As it was, he said mildly, “I’m serious.”“I know,” Er Tai said. “I suppose Dage and Saosao have both mentioned their concerns to me, but I honestly thought you would look to Dong Er first. My brother is older, after all.”“Xiang Dong and Zhuang Nan’s birthdates are not compatible. If it was their choice, we would not care about that, but if we’re making a show of this, it is something to consider. Besides, you have been my dearest friend for far longer than Er Kang. If this works out, it would make us truly family, and I really would like nothing better.”Er Tai smiled at that, at least.“Also,” Yong Qi added blandly, “from the way Nan Er talks, she’d be heartbroken if I suggest betrothing her to anyone else.”“Oh really?”“I can hardly get through dinner without hearing an account of what Xiang He Gege has been up to that day. If the feeling is not mutual, I beg you would spare my poor daughter the painful truth.”“Your daughter is many things, but poor she most certainly is not,” Er Tai said, laughing. “Also, tell me, when you were twelve, even out of politeness, would you have let a girl whom you did not like use your horse and then spend hours teaching her do tricks on said horse?”“Ah. Point taken.”More seriously, Er Tai said, "I do get Xiao Yan Zi's concerns, of course, and I agree that we should make it clear to both of them that they have a way out if they do not wish to marry when they are older." Then he grinned. "But honestly, if they carry on like this, I really do think this might be the best idea you've ever had."