Work Text
Emotionally inept
growing up with Katsuki was anything but easy. Although he was treated like complete and utter shit, Izuku always came crawling back to his best friend, kacchan. Lets just say that throughout their childhood, they were both mulling through their feelings. Izuku was trying to Izuku was trying to overcome the crippling -dreadful- feeling of not having a quirk. On the other hand, Katsuki was dealing was his mixed feelings for the other, him and Izuku- or Deku to him, had always been his friend, despite how he treated him he knew that Deku was capable at a lot of things. When Izuku was said to have no quirk that put Katsuki over the edge; part of him had always wished that Izuku would gain some amazing quirk -not as amazing as his- and they would become hero's together. In terms or protecting himself and others, Katsuki thought Izuku was absolutely useless, and the first time he found this out was at the young age of four, when Izuku tried to stand up against them when they'd be picking on some other kid.
'You're weak, Deku'
When it came to Deku he never held back, sometimes it was because he felt that he needed to 'put Deku in his place' while others it was that he wanted oh-so-desperately for Izuku to fight back and prove him wrong. He still cared greatly for Izuku -deep down that is- and struggled to come to terms with it, because that terrible suerpiority complex of his told him different. He was better than izuku, that was all he knew, that was all he said. "Why do you hate me?" It was while he was pinned, Katsuki sat on top of him ready to strike again, but the question stopped him in his tracks. 'Hate you? I don't hate you' he never said his thought out loud, not once. This was the first time izuku had asked the question and Katsuki had found that it shook him. He didn't want Izuku to think that he hated him. That was when they were seven. The next time he asked, there was a group of them, Katsuki being the leader - of course- and they'd been throwing insults Izuku's way. Katsuki had never been entirely sure, but he was always set in making his voice the loudest out of them; turns out he didn't like hearing other's insult his Deku. 'Deku is mine to crush' while they all laughed he heard it, the quiet mumble of "why do you hate me?" It had startled the ash-blond, he'd been certain that since the last time Izuku had asked, he'd eased off a bit, but in reality he was only getting worse. He didn't answer, not only because the question didn't actually seem to be directed at him, but also because some part of him wanted Izuku to hate him; deep down he knew that he deserved it. They were ten at this time. the next was after him and his little goons had walked away from Izuku, a sinking feeling of guilt in his stomach, he was beginning to think that He'd taken it too far with the whole 'you're better of jumping of the roof and hoping that you get a quirk in your next life' but hell was he going to apologise. He hadn't realised he was grinding his teeth until it came to an abrupt stop at the sound of Izuku's voice, it was quiet, no real emotion behind it "why do you hate me, kacchan?" Katsuki often wondered why Izuku had never dropped the childhood nickname, but then again he'd never stopped calling the green haired boy 'Deku'. 'I don't hate you, but you should hate me. I hate me, so I wouldn't blame you' he was quick to shake the thought, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stomping away, not quite sure if he was angry at himself or Izuku. He stick around for a while after school, relief washing over him as Izuku left. He was glad that the other male hadn't listened to what he said earlier, he was beginning to see how much of an ass he was. the was the final time Izuku had asked him, it was more of a nonchalant tone, like he didn't even care anymore "why do you hate me?" This time, Katsuki was only mildly surprised by the question, it was one that he'd gotten used to ignoring but for some reason he could quite force himself to giff and stomp away like he usually did.
"I don't hate you"
He definitely heard uraruka huff out "yeah right" and he heard a few other murmurs from around the class. His eyes seemed to follow the voices, but when his eyes landed back on Izuku he was met with a furrowed brow and confused green eyes. "I said I don't hate you, dipshit" katsuki spat, not liking how Izuku still hadn't answered him. The ash-blond watched in bewilderment as a grin spearhead across Izuku's face, his eyes seeming to glisten. "Do you hate me?" Katsuki found himself asking, not liking how his voice lowered almost as if he was anxious -he was- "no, I could never hate you, kacchan" a shit-eating grin spread across his face but he quickly covered it with his hand. "Why am I not surprised, shifty Deku?" There was no malice like there had been before and he noticed how Izuku confined to smile brightly. 'I could stare at him all day' with that thought it dawned on him; he was in love with Izuku. He jolted upright, yanked his bag up from where it sat on the floor and flung it over his shoulder. "Fuck!" He hissed, not sparing Izuku another glance as he stomped out of the classroom. He heard some distant voices, those that he recognised as his classmates, most along the lines of "do you really believe him?" And "what was that all about?" He didn't turn back when he heard Izuku calling after him, he didn't turn around when he heard the thudding footsteps of Izuku running after him. He stopped when a somewhat small calloused hand rested on his shoulder, he could feel Izuku's panting breath on his ear. The sensation sent a shudder down his spine. "What wrong, kacchan?" The boy in question, gritted his teeth, shooting around to face the -only slightly- shorter boy "nothing" he hissed and he could've sworn Izuku flinched. "Are you scared of me?" He asked, managing to hide the somewhat sinking feeling of dread. "I used to be" was the answer he got "I guess when you shout it kind of startles me though" he said with a nervous laugh as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Fucking Deku" was the last thing Izuku heard before he was yanked forwards by the collar of his short, and lips were pressed -roughly- against his. He blinked, not quite k owing how to respond at first, but just as he was about to kiss back, Katsuki pulled away, a snarl of his face. Before he could even ask, Katsuki was stomping off and Izuku became a spluttering mess. This wasn't what Izuku had expected at all, but he didn't hate it. You could probably even say that he'd loved it. When he turned to head back up to the classroom, he saw all his classmates gawking out the window and his blushed furiously. They'd all seen. Deciding against going back to class, he sprinted off in the direction Katsuki had went, shouting out for the blond "kacchan! What were you thinking?! Everyone saw us!" Katsuki hadn't gotten that far so it was obvious that he'd heard Izuku's cry. "It's fine, I'm just showing em' what's mine" the shock was too great and Izuku fell. He actually fell. "Stupid Deku"