Work Text
Jared.Kleinman sent you a private message
Jared.Kleinman: alright so you know the other day when i was stalking the lgbtq message boardsJared.Kleinman: looking for some more ppl coming to NYU in the fallEvan.Hansen: Yes?Evan.Hansen: I told you that that probably wasn’t the best thing to do, since we know nothing about people on message boards?Jared.Kleinman: yeahJared.Kleinman: but i did the thing anywayJared.Kleinman: and i found a nice little group ive been chatting with since like day before yesterdayEvan.Hansen: OhEvan.Hansen: Are they cool?Jared.Kleinman: not as cool as i, The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman is, but yeah, they’re p alrightJared.Kleinman: I met Zoe firstJared.Kleinman: she’s gonna be majoring in biology i think something like thatJared.Kleinman: anyway she introduced me to her emo twin brother connor who’s gonna be a lit majorJared.Kleinman: connor’s trans and his pronouns are he/him and zoe’s she/herJared.Kleinman: zoe was on the chat thread looking for campus future study buddies. Kinda like an early support group idfk. Anyhow i chatted her up and now we’re facebook friendsJared.Kleinman: i’ve talked to her brother and he’s ok i gueSS got a bad case of resting bitch face tbhJared.Kleinman: oh and i found alana on the thread tooEvan.Hansen: Alana Beck, Alana?Jared.Kleinman: the vvery sameJared.Kleinman: so Yeah i made a group chat and it’s poppinEvan.Hansen: That’s nice, I’m glad you’re making friends.Jared.Kleinman: babe that was me inviting you to the friend groupEvan.Hansen: I mean, I don’t know, Jared.Evan.Hansen: You know I’m not great with people I don’t know. I get all nervous and then I get gross and my hands get sweaty and a ra mb le and make an idiot of myself and usually end up cryingJared.Kleinman: omg evJared.Kleinman: youre going to meet them eventually i just wanted you to get comfortable with them before having to deal with them face-to-faceEvan.Hansen: There’s literally no way to get used to people through chat firstJared.Kleinman: oh i disagreeEvan.Hansen: You’re going to bug me about this until I say OK, aren’t you?”Jared.Kleinman: YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhEvan.Hansen: *sigh*Evan.Hansen: AlrightEvan.Hansen: I can’t guarantee that I’ll stay for a long time or Not Crash, or contribute in a good way, but I’ll tryJared.Kleinman: [kissing emoji]Jared.Kleinman: im proud of u Jared.Kleinman added Evan.Hansen to future nyu fucks chat Alana.Bee: Oh my gosh!!!! Is that Evan??Jared.Kleinman: The One And Only Evan HansenEvan.Hansen: Ha ha. Hi Alana [smiley emoji]Alana.Bee: It’s been so long!! We need to catch up! I need to tell you all about what I’ve been up to since graduation!Evan.Hansen: Sure. That sounds niceJared.Kleinman: Evan, this is zoe and alana murphy they’re going to be going to NYU same as usZoe.Murphy: OoooOOoOOoooOOoooOOoohhhhh so this is evanZoe.Murphy: Jared talks a lot about you.Evan.Hansen: Oh. Uh… that’s probably not good.Jared.Kleinman: OuchJared.Kleinman: ill have you know you never talk shit about anyoneConnor.Murphy: weren’t you Literally just complaining about your neighbours and how their music is always paying too loudJared.Kleinman: Fucking ListenJared.Kleinman: i wouldnt mind if they had some Good music but they never doJared.Kleinman: it’s shit evan’s little brother would likeAlana.Bee: Oooohhhhhhh Evan, you have a little brother??Evan.Hansen: A step brother. He lives with my dad.Evan.Hansen: Jared met him last year and when I introduced them, Ty tried to get Jared to listen to some kind of techno? I don’t remember what it was. Jared hated it, whatever it was.Jared.Kleinman: it was bulLSHITJared.Kleinman: I HAD TO LISTEN TO TWO HOURS OF IT BC I WANTED TO MAKE NICE WITH THE LITTLE ASSHOLEEvan.Hansen: I told you you didn’t even have to talk to him!Evan.Hansen: But he really liked you, he still talks about you a lot.Jared.Kleinman: because I, unlike him, am Insanely Cool.Connor.Murphy: here we fucking go againZoe.Murphy: yeah…Zoe.Murphy: just bc you say you’re cool doesnt mean you’re coolJared.Kleinman: sighJared.Kleinman: i cant believe youre all ganging up on meEvan.Hansen: I’m not ganging up on you!Connor.Murphy: I am.Zoe.Murphy: saaammmmeeeeee.Jared.Kleinman: alright you little shitsJared.Kleinman: you can all fuck right offJared.Kleinman: except you alana i guess you didnt do anythingAlana.Bee: Thank you! But I have to leave anyway. I have a paper to finish.
Alana.Bee has left the chat.
Zoe.Murphy: there she wentConnor.Murphy: finallyZoe.Murphy: connor pleaseConnor.Murphy: shes fucking exhaustingEvan.Hansen: She just likes to talk a lot. And that’s nice sometimes, because all you have to do is listen and you don’t have to talk a lot and worry about what you’re sayingZoe.Murphy: ooookkkkkaaayyyy.Evan.Hansen: SorryConnor.Murphy: why are you sorry?Jared.Kleinman: any whoJared.Kleinman: have you guys gotten word on your dorms yetZoe.Murphy: nope! We’re hoping soon thoConnor.Murphy: i cant wait to be able to live off campusJared.Kleinman: sameJared.Kleinman: there’s nothing like having your own placeEvan.Hansen: Jared how would you know, you’ve literally never had your own place beforeJared.Kleinman: tnx for exposing me like that babs i was trying to play it coolZoe.Murphy: babs?Zoe.Murphy: sorry if im not supposed to ask, but are you two a couple?Jared.Kleinman: Maybe MurphyJared.Kleinman: why you jealousZoe.Murphy: oH pleASE JARED [18 laughing emojis]Jared.Kleinman: ouchJared.Kleinman: you got me right here how will i ever recoverEvan.Hansen: I’ve got work, I got to head out.Zoe.Murphy: oh! then have a good time. I hope everything goes well.Evan.Hansen: ThanksJared.Kleinman: have a good shift evEvan.Hansen: ty
Evan.Hansen has left the chat
Jared.Kleinman sent you a private message
Jared.Kleinman: i thought ou didnt have a shift until tomorrowEvan.Hansen: I - uhm - I don’tJared.Kleinman: aahhhhhJared.Kleinman: overwhelmed?Evan.Hansen: I think so.Evan.Hansen: They seem like good people. And I’m glad you reconnected with Alana, but I guess I just need to ease into it all.Jared.Kleinman: thats coolEvan.Hansen: Also, they don’t know we’re together?Jared.Kleinman: ohJared.Kleinman: i guess it hasn’t come up? until earlierJared.Kleinman: do you want me to tell them?Evan.Hansen: I meanEvan.Hansen: Alana doesn’t know I’m biEvan.Hansen: I don’t want her to find out like thatJared.Kleinman: so you wanna wait until you come out to tell them that we’re dating?Evan.Hansen: If that’s okay?Jared.Kleinman: it’s okJared.Kleinman: take all the time you need it’s chillEvan.Hansen: Thank youJared.Kleinman: np babe