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Gabriel couldn't described the feeling of being torn from the sweet reaches of death. He liked death. He never had to worry about anything. He never had to remember all those horrible memories from his long, agonizing life. He could almost forget the yelling and fighting that happened every time his older brothers got into an argument. He almost forgot the look on Lucifer's face when he put that blade through his chest. He likes being dead but nothing can ever go his way, can it.
He was ripped from his sweet serenity by a blinding light and searing pain. He let out a loud scream as it continued to take him. He screamed until the pain became too much and when it became too much he passed out. He woke with a start and was immediately pushed back down. Where was he? Why was he here? He looked around and was met with three concerning stares. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was anywhere but there. He wanted to be anywhere but there.
"Are you okay, Gabriel," there was tone to Michael's voice that he hadn't heard in a long time.
"Where am I?" His voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Gabriel didn't even recognize his own voice.
"Heaven, Gabe, where else would you be," that was Lucifer's voice. That's impossible they can't be in the same place without yelling.
"Why am I here?"
"Father commanded it," Michael again. Now he knew he must be dreaming. Father, father left them a long time ago, he was disappointed in them. He hated all of them. He banished his favorite child into Hell. He didn't want any of them.
"Brothers, we should leave, he needs rest," that sounded like Raphael. Where did his big brothers come from? Why was he here? He didn't want to see any them. They all hated him. One of them killed him for not taking a side. Why did they all sound concerned?
"We understand, Raphy, come let's give him time to rest. Sleep well, Gabe," Michael left the room.
"Have a good rest, little one," Lucifer left the room.
"I know its confusing," Raphael said, "we'll explain it to you when you're healthy again. You missed a lot. But for now, baby brother, you must sleep."
What was up with all the nicknames? What was up with his usually cold older brothers? He decided not to worry about it as he heard the door close, signaling Raphael's leaving. He had only been up for a few minutes, but he was spent. He would figure out what was wrong later for now he let the darkness take hold of him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gabriel woke up to a dark, empty room. He was sort of relieved that his older brothers weren't there, he didn't think he could be around them right now. He sat up and looked around the room. It looked like one of the medical rooms in Heaven. Gabriel decided that either someone was playing a sick trick on him, or he was actually in Heaven. He went with sick trick, the idea that his brothers were getting along was so far fetched.
As Gabriel continued to ponder the strange situation Raphael walked in, "brother, if you continue to think that hard you're going to hurt yourself."
"Huh," Gabriel snapped out of his state at his brother's voice.
"How do you feel," he said as he walk up to the bed, "any pain?"
"No," Gabriel cleared his throat, "what happened? Where am I?"
"We are in Heaven, and I know its hard to believe but it's true."
"Why are we here?"
"I know you have a lot of questions but if you feel up to it we have some people waiting for us."
"Who?"
"If you're feeling up to it come find up."
Gabriel put his legs over the side of the bed and slowly stood up. He wanted to know what was going on. He shouldn't be here, in Heaven. He left this life, he didn't want to return to it. He was still curious as who could be waiting for them. He didn't feel hundred percent, but he had to know who was waiting for him. He wouldn't tell Raphael he wasn't feeling all that great, he didn't want to have to wait to figure out what was wrong.
"If you start feeling bad just tell me, I can get you out of there and back in bed quickly."
Gabriel nodded his head, and they left the room and entered the hallway. They walked side by side in silence. Neither of them wanting to break the silence. Gabriel because he was worried and confused, and Raphael because he knew Gabriel wanted to be in his own head. Raphael knew how Gabriel was feeling, he had gone through the same thing not to long along. He knew Gabriel would take it harder though, they were two different beings.
They walked silently until they reached a set of double doors, "Remember what I told you. If you start not feeling good tell me."
"I get it, Raphael," Gabriel was getting sick and tired of the babying. He hadn't seen any of his big brothers in how long and all of a sudden he comes back and everyone's worried. He actaully didn't want any of them to coddle him, it made hating them a lot easier knowing they didn't care about him.
As Raphael started opening the doors Gabriel began to feel sick. He didn't want to see whoever was on the other side of that door. He didn't want to be around Raphael, and everyone else had done a lot worse to him. He couldn't look any of these people in the eye, he would break. He keeps telling himself that he hates his family. He doesn't, he can't. Sure, they all wronged him, but they're his family. He stilled loved them, you can't just stop loving the people who made you who you are. But who he is isn't that good of a being, is it? He killed people for a laugh, he traumitized that Winchester because of them. If they hadn't always fought he wouldn't have ran away, he wouldn't have joined the Pagans, he wouldn't have been stabbed by his brother. Why can't he just hate them?
As the doors opened completely his stomach twisted even more. What Gabriel was expecting, he had no idea but it wasn't this. In the room there was a big table with six chairs, all of which were filled except two. At one head of the table sat his father, at the other sat his Aunt Amara, on one side of the table with their backs to them sat Michael and Lucifer, and across of them were two empty chairs. Why were all these people sat in one room? They all hated each other.
As they entered the room all the talking ceased, and they looked at him. Gabriel swallowed thickly. His stomach kept twisting its self into worse knots. He couldn't do this. He couldn't face these people. He swallowed once again and walked over to the open seat closest to his father. This was going to be horrible...
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
As he sat down he felt everyone's eyes on him. He looked at his hands in his lap. He wanted to climb under the table and hide from everyone. "You probably have a lot of questions," Yeah I do but did you have to break the silence, dad Gabriel swallowed through the lump in his throat, "I guess, dad...father...sir." He hadn't seen the man in how long he didn't know what to call him. "You can call me dad, Gabe, you're still my son, you never stopped being my son." "Really? Cause last time I checked you left us," the anger was coming through. "I know, son, and that was unjustified of me. I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry." "You're sorry, you're sorry! That's good because you know when your only parent leaves your only hope is that they're sorry," he was trying to keep his anger in check. "What do you want me to say?" "I don't know, dad," the last word was laced with so much sarcasm you'd have to be deaf to not hear it. The rest of the famiy watched as the father and son argued. They all knew Gabriel would be angry, they just didn't know how angry. He seemed to be taking most of the anger out on his father. They all knew, though, that he was anger at all of them. They all wronged him and they all deserve the anger they were going to receive."Look, Gabriel, I know you're angry, and I also know you don't know how to control anger," Chuck was getting fed up with Gabriel, he knew he had every right to be angry but the yelling was getting very old, "But you need to stop yelling and listen.""Little brother, perhaps you should let our father explain himself," Lucifer said as he saw Gabriel getting even angrier."Listen to our father. Why should I listen to our father? What has he done to get me to hear him out? What have any of you done to get me to hear any of you out," Gabriel stood, breathing heavily, and looked at all of them."We all know we have wronged you, and we don't deserved forgiveness right away but listen. We want to be a family again, and we all know it will take a while to get your trust back. We love you Gabriel, and we want you back," Chuck smiled at his son.Gabriel didn't know what to say because his mind was going into panic mode.
What if they constantly fight again? What if father leaves again? What if Raphael becomes cold and unwelcoming and hates him again?
Gabriel couldn't think straight, his mind was going haywire. He was breathing was becoming ragged. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs. He felt hot tears running down his cheeks, he didn't even know why he was crying. He didn't know what was happening to him.He saw Raphael getting up from his chair and his lips moving, but he couldn't hear him over the blood rushing in his ears. Raphael was getting closer to him but before he could get there Gabriel was meeting the floor. Raphael caught him just in time and the last thing Gabriel saw before the darkness was Raphael's concerned face.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gabriel slowly woke up to the darkness of his bedroom. He sat up in bed and couldn't help but let out a groan as he remembered what happened. He heard a knock on the door and softly said, "Come in."
Raphael cane in the room and smiled at his little brother, "Hello, brother."
"What happened, Raph," Gabriel asked.
"You had a panic attack while we were talking."
"Oh, okay."
"How do you feel?"
"Like I got hit by an airplane," Gabriel said, rubbing his forehead."Yeah, that'll happen," Raphael replied looking at his brother with sympathy."What am I going go do?" Gabriel asked flopping back down onto his pillows. "That's what I want to talk to you about." Raphael said, "We all want to make this easier for you, so I presented a plan to everyone." "Okay, what is it?" "Everyone will come explain their part of the story to you. We don't have to do this now or even at all, but we figured it would be easier for you," Raphael explained. "Okay, who's first?" "You pick." "You," Gabriel said after a moment of thinking. "Where do you want me to start?" "Why did you become so cold when they started fighting?"Raphael sucked in a breath, " Gabriel, I couldn't stand Michael and Lucifer's fighting, like you, but I dealt with it a different way," Raphael explained. "I put walls around myself, I didn't want to be hurt further then I already was, so I didn't let anyone in. I didn't mean to be cold and unwelcoming, it was just my way of protecting myself. I am really sorry, baby brother, and I promise I will never, ever, do it again."Gabriel took a deep breath and nodded his head, "You promise you won't turn cold again? No matter what happens, you won't push me away?" "I promise to you, Gabriel, no more blocking you out because I can't deal with my emotions," Raphael said smiling a little to reassure his brother. "I only have one more question for you," Gabriel said."Okay," Raphael said a little curious as to why Gabriel was only asking him two questions."Why are you here, with all of them," he asked his older brother. "Father brought me back, he explained everything to me, I let Michael and Lucifer explain themselves and I decided to stay," Raphael said. "I'm not going to lie, I didn't listen to any of them for a while but finally I heard them out. Little brother, I stayed because I truly believe they have changed." "You sure?" Gabriel asked looking at his brother with teary eyes. "If I wasn't I would've ran by now," Raphael said with a chuckle. Gabriel nodded, and Raphael slowly brought him into a hug. Gabriel latched onto Raphael and let a few tears slip out. Raphael slowly rocked them side to side until he was sure his brother was okay. "Who do you want to talk to next?"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"You can send Michael in," Gabriel said."Okay, I'll send him in," Raphael said leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Gabriel sat on his bed thinking about everything that had happened. He didn't know if he could forgive them, but he would try. He was taken out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. "Come in." "Hello, baby brother, how are you feeling," Michael asked closing the door as he stepped into the room. "I'm okay, Michael," Gabriel said, "just a little shaken up." "That's understandable, you gave us all a scare when you had that panic attack." "I have a few questions for you," Gabriel said. "Well, I would think so, go ahead.""Why do you think you have to do everything father tells you?""What do you mean," Michael asked sincerely confused."You were gonna kill our brother because father commanded it. Why?" Gabriel voice was shaking, and there was a voice in the back of his head telling him he hadn't cried this much in all his years away from his home."Brother, this goes deeper then just following commands," Michael tried to explain."No. It doesn't, Michael. You and I both know that you have an actual excuse for trying to do what you did. So, what is it?"Michael took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out as a sigh. "I believed that, maybe, if I did what father asked he would come back to us. Some part of mind thought I could get father back for all of us if I just did as he did. I know it's not a real excuse, but my heart and my mind wanted to believe it. I couldn't do anymore, Gabe, I wanted our father back so much that I would do anything to see him again, even murdering my own little brother. I know it's unjustifiable but, please Gabe, just consider what I'm telling you. I love all of you, and I have no idea why I would try to do that to our brother." He now had tears streaming down his face. Gabriel didn't know what to say. He started crying like Michael. "I forgive you, Mike. I love you so much, I never stopped loving any of you. I just tried to not have those feelings 'cause I thought I hated all of you."Michael smiled through his tears and brought his brother into a hug. Gabriel burried his face into his brother's shoulder and shook with the force of his sobs. Michael just held him as he sobbed, rubbing his back, and whispering into his ear to calm him. Gabriel fell asleep, again, on his shoulder. Michael laid him on the bed, covered him up, placed a kiss to his forehead, and left the room shutting the door behind him and shutting off the lights. Michael knew Gabe wouldn't be so forgiving to Lucifer...
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gabriel came out of his slumper feeling like he slept for seven weeks. He wasn't looking forward to who he would be talking to next. He didn't want to look his murderer in the face. An odd feeling swept over him at calling his brother "his murderer."
He sat up in bed and looked around his darkened room. It was so pleasent when no one was trying to get him to forgive him. The last few discussions had been draining, to say the least, and he slept more in the last day and a half than the last hundered years. He felt a little better knowing that Michael and Raphael were his brothers again. He had two people he could trust again and that felt amazing to him.
He heard a knock on the door and immeditaly dove under the covers, faking sleep. The door opened, and Gabriel herd a chuckle.
"That's not Lucifer", he thought."No, I'm not our brother." That was definetly Raphael. He popped his head out of blanket, "Hi, Raphy!" A chuckle came from his brother, "Good afternoon, Gaby." Raphael took a seat on the side of his bed, "I heard your talk with Michael went well." "Yeah, we're good now," Gabe let out a sigh, "But I don't know if I want to talk with...you know." Raphael nodded, "How about this, you try to talk it out with him, if you get uncomfortable or feel yourself start to panic call for me. I will come faster then even you can fly." Gabriel took a deep breath and nodded his head, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. Raphael rubbed a hand up and down his back, before getting up and leaving the room. Gabriel was trying to talk himself into being a man about this, it wasn't working. A knock interrupted his thoughts and he swallowed before he let out a shakey "come in." Lucifer walked into the room silently, closing the door behind him and causing Gabriel's heart to beat faster. "Hello, little brother," Lucifer said, standing by the side of the bed. Those words caused chills to go down Gabriel's brother. 'Little brother,' Gabe wanted to puke. "Hello, Lucifer." "How are you feeling?" "Fine." "Better than you were before?" "Yes." "This conversation isn't going to work if you don't contribute." "What do you expect me to say?" "I don't know, you usually never stop talking." "Well, I'm sorry if I don't particularly have topics to discuss with you," came the sharp reply. "I understand, I know why you don't wish to speak with me." "Really? I thought it was a secret," the words dripped with sarcasm. "Oh, brother, your words hurt me." "Yeah, well, what did you expect? Me to welcome you with open arms? You stabbed me, ended my life, because I didn't choose your side in a stupid argument about father's love! So, I'm sorry if I don't exactly come running to you with a smile on my face and hug you like we haven't talked in years." "You know, as well as I do, that it wasn't just about father's love." "Of course it was! It always is with you! You have to be the favorite! And you'll do anything if you feel that title was taken from you. Even stab your own brother," the last sentence was whispered. "Maybe you shouldn't have gotten in the way, little brother," Lucifer's voice dropped menacingly. The tone of his voice and the words didn't pass Gabriel and as they fully settled into his skin he started to panic. He looked at the door, then at Lucifer, then the door again and made a run for it. He threw open the doors and ran to where he heard voices down the hall. He ran into the living room where his brothers, father, and aunt were all sitting. He threw himself inbetween his brothers and sobbed in their arms. He didn't hear Lucifer come into the room, nor did he see the look his brothers shared. He just continued to sob out his pain and fear into his brothers' arms. He focused on their arms and comforting words, trying to calm himself down. He didn't see his father get up and start to talk to Lucifer. However, as he was finally calmed down he saw his father point down the hallway, and Lucifer stalk off down the hall. Gabriel looked at his dad with wide eyes as he came and looked down at him with a look Gabe hadn't seen since he very young. "What did he say to you, little one?" With those words Gabriel remembered how much he missed his father all of those years and he remembered how he always wanted his father to take him into his arms and let him cry every time he had to have a break down. He threw himself at his dad. Chuck got over his shock fairly quickly and adjusted Gabriel in his hold, sitting down on the couch between his sons with his youngest in his lap. Gabriel, comforted by the fact he was surrounded by people who, he knew, didn't hate him feel asleep but not before scoulding himself mentally about his recent tears and naps.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gabriel woke to the sound of talking. It took him a second to recognize the voice, but he soon realized it was his father and what he assumed to be his aunt. He kept his eyes closed and listened to their conversation."I'm just worried about him," a sigh from his father, "I've never seen him so broken before.""He's probably fine," his aunt's voice floated into his ears."He's cried more in the past two days than he did the whole first ten years he was created.""It's a lot to take in. I've wanted to have a few emotional breakdowns.""Sister, I just don't know what to do with him.""Let him settle, he'll soon see no one wants to hurt him.""I love my son, I can't continue to watch him fall apart."Gabriel made a little whine from the back of his thoart, notifing them he was awake. Chuck stopped talking when he heard his son awaken and looked down.
Gabriel opened his eyes and looked up at his father, "Did you mean that?"
"Of course, I mean it, kiddo. You're my youngest, and I love more than you could ever know."
"But Lucifer has always been your favorite," Gabe said, "He'll always be your favorite."
"I love all my children equally. I don't have a favorite being, or child, you all are of me. I love you and your brothers, and I only want what's best for all of you."
"Is that why you left us?"
"We all make mistakes."
Gabriel huffed a laugh and pulled out of his father's arms to sit beside him on the couch.
"I didn't mean it, you all just look too deep into things."
"Dad, don't take this the wrong way, but you meant it. You can't expect us to believe that bs."
"Buddy, you can believe what you want to."
Gabriel sat back in his seat, not understanding why his dad wasn't arguing like always. He usually had to prove that he was right, that you were always wrong. "Where are my brothers?"
"In Michael's bedroom."
Gabriel stood up on shaky legs and stumbled down the hall towards the door. He didn't bother knocking on the door, just opened it and went in. His brothers were sitting on the bed discussing something, well Michael and Raphael were Lucifer was nowhere in sight. Not shocking all things considered, but Gabriel didn't really care. He sat down on the bed and looked at his brothers.
"Do you actually believe him?"
"Yes, this time I do believe it's real," Michael said.
Raphael just nodded.
Gabriel hummed and laid down with his head in Michael's lap and his feet in Raphael's. Raphael started rubbing his feet, and Michael ran his hand through his hair.
"You'll be okay," he heard someone say. 'That sounds like Lucifer,' he thought before drifting off to sleep.