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It had been a year since he’d killed the last Stark, which in a sense completed a mission of eliminating the Stark family. It hadn’t been intentional, but at the same time it had. It had been his fault, but Steve said it wasn’t. He’d been triggered. He was supposed to be safe now, but he’d been triggered. Then it was out of his hands. Bucky Barnes had killed Tony Stark, and to this day it wasn’t something he had forgotten.The rest of the world didn’t know. No one had ever known what had happened to the famous snarky billionaire. Some thought he tired of the whole super hero thing and ran off to vacation on an island. The remaining Avenger team hadn’t believed it for a second. As far as they were concerned, some clever bastard had gotten their hands on the man. The searches they conducted seemed endless, and in the end, they’d found not a trace. Bucky had said nothing on the subject. Instead he joined the searches and did his part to spread the word on the need to find their teammate. He followed Steve’s example, as well as his orders to not let it slip.“It wasn’t your fault Buck,” Steve had told him repeatedly.It had felt like his fault, but after so much time had passed he found he wasn’t blaming himself as much; he was just thinking about it on occasion. He always kept his word by not saying a word. Sometimes when the subject of Tony came up, he’d trade a look with Steve. His friend had become so good at hiding it, it was scary. If Rhodey were to come up to him, needing to talk or let loose some emotion, Steve was there to give him a shoulder. Without breaking a calm expression, Steve would console him and express his fond memories of the man. Bucky would watch, fascinated at how well he kept the mask in place.Then Steve would look at him to make sure he understood the message. Bucky did of course. He understood that if he wanted to live, he would have to play the part of an oblivious yet concerned friend.Steve had reminded him constantly after it first happened that the world wouldn’t be forgiving. They wouldn’t accept that he was triggered, and so two lives would have been lost. Bucky was sure he was fine with getting executed. Wasn’t it fine to die for what was right? He’d done wrong so didn’t he deserve the worst punishment?
“It wasn’t your fault Buck. You did nothing wrong. You don’t deserve to die for something that wasn’t in your control.”
No. He hadn’t killed intentionally. It hadn’t been in his control. It hadn’t been his fault. It was just a mistake. Still, Bucky thought back on that mistake from time to time.
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Tony never accepted him. In fact Bucky was certain he had never forgiven him. The rest of the team had gotten the chance to mend while he’d been in cryo with the hopes of recovering. He’d woken to see Steve by his side and hadn’t been surprised to learn he’d barely left him. And Steve had continued to stand by him when they approached Tony.Naturally it was awkward. Steve had done all the talking, all the explaining about why he was safe and why he should be allowed on the team. Tony had said no far too many times for Steve’s liking, but eventually they reached a partial agreement. Bucky could be an avenger, so long as he lived elsewhere.It had been enough to cause Steve to flee back to his apartment. With a nod of acceptance, Bucky followed suit.It could have gone on that way forever. He could have ignored the dirty looks Tony would throw him. But how could he ignore that voice at the back of his head that seem to insist he was a target?At night, sleep filled him with emptiness that sometimes carried over when he was awake. Sometimes he felt cold, and other times he couldn’t feel at all. Sometimes at night he dreamed of his old missions, and his metal fingers would twitch with the need to perform. But the only target he could think of, was Stark.He didn’t know why he couldn’t tell Steve. All he had to do was get off the couch and admit it. Maybe the cryo didn’t work. Maybe he still wasn’t well. But Steve had been sure, and he was happy. What mattered was seeing his friend happy. So he let it go. He was aware of himself and that was enough because it meant he was in control.Then the day came when Tony just had to come over to talk to Steve. Bucky had never been alone with the man in all the time he’d been free. They’d carefully avoided one another, but Steve was not there to open the door.Tony gave him that same pissed off look hidden under a falsely calm expression.“Where’s capsicle?”“Steve is, not here.” There wasn’t a note of emotion in his tone.“Ah-huh. Well if you don’t mind, I’ll wait for him here.”The man brushed passed him without waiting for an answer. Bucky found he didn’t know what to feel about it. There was a little anger, and something else that was cold. It didn’t matter because he was in control. He could put up with Stark alone until Steve returned. For the most part Bucky kept quiet as Tony felt the need to criticize the apartment and the way Steve lead their latest mission. Bucky wasn’t accustomed to sarcasm. He knew it was something Stark did, but at the moment he didn’t find humor in his words. It was all negative the moment he saw Stark on the other side of the door.Tony had started asking him a few questions. The type of questions that would suggest he was attempting to clear the air between them. Bucky had answered with as few words as possible in the beginning, then he became dead silent and Tony couldn’t get a word from him. Stark didn’t look like Stark anymore. He looked like a target. He looked like a threat, and threats had to be eliminated.“The others don’t see it, but I do,” Tony had suddenly said, and Bucky became aware that he’d been staring at him. “I don’t think you’re cured. In fact, I don’t think you’ll ever be.” Bucky’s narrowed eyes followed the man as he stood from the couch. He felt nothing for this target.“You were the Winter soldier who hurt and killed innocents, for Hydra. They did their job too well on you.”“I’m better,” Bucky spat. “That’s what Steve thinks, and that’s what you think. But I think Steve made a mistake in trusting…”Bucky was on him in a flash with the fingers of his cybernetic arm instantly grabbing his throat. Tony gasped and instinctively grabbed at his arm while something was screaming ‘Eliminate’ in his head.Tony attempted to fiddle with his wristwatch, but Bucky snatched it with the other hand and crushed it.
Eliminate
He would eliminate the threat. Tony was gasping as he raised him in the air by the throat, then slammed him onto the floor.The target was wide-eyed, gasping and clawing at his arm. The target attempted to claw at his face, but Bucky ignored it. He just stood over him with his metal fingers crushing into the target’s windpipe. The target kicked so Bucky slammed his head into the floor again.The target appeared momentarily dazed, but his arms came once again, reaching for his fingers, reaching for release.Bucky kept his eyes on the target’s frightened ones. The target was confused, but more than anything, terrified.
Eliminate
Bucky kept his hold.
Eliminate
The target’s movements were starting to slow. The target’s legs had stopped kicking, and his hands were slowly sliding away from his arms.
Eliminate
Bucky held on, feeling nothing and knowing the threat had to be destroyed. There was still light fluttering in the target’s eyes. His mouth hung open in shock.
ELIMINATE
With a roar of hidden rage, Bucky squeezed. A horrible crack sounded in the air, and the target’s hands fell on the floor at his side. The target’s face was frozen in horror. The target wasn’t moving, yet Bucky still held on. After a while he let go.The target was completely still. The target was dead.His mission was complete.Bucky sat back and just looked at the man. He still couldn’t recognize the face. Afterwards things started to come into focus. The target was looking less like a target, and more like someone he knew. The target, looked like Tony, his teammate and Steve’s friend. The horror hit like a punch in the gut.“Stark! Oh god…Stark!”No amount of shaking roused him. He checked for a heartbeat and breathing, but there was nothing. Bucky tried chest compressions anyways, and it became the scene that Steve walked in on.“Bucky?”By that point Bucky’s eyes had become teary, and he felt more afraid than he’d ever felt before.“What have you done?”“I don’t know…I don’t know what I’ve done! I didn’t mean…I didn’t know what I was…I’m scared.”Steve was at a loss for words. Bucky felt the walls breaking as he broke down in the following silence. Stark had been right. Steve was wrong to trust him.“What happened?”Bucky shuddered but forced himself to speak, all while staring into the lifeless eyes of Tony. It was a short explanation as he recounted so little about what had happened.Silence had fallen, before Steve broke it with the statement he’d drill into his head. “It’s not your fault Bucky.”He looked up as Steve marched over and kneeled at his side. His expression was bitter and sad, but he held strong.“It’s not your fault. That wasn’t you Buck, okay…listen to me. It was a mistake.”“I killed him Steve. I killed him. I have to-”“You don’t have to do anything except stay calm, and believe me when I say it wasn’t your fault.” He too looked into Tony’s lifeless eyes. “We have to tell the others. They’ll send me to the Raft, but…”“No. We’re not telling them. No one can know.” He held his hand over the man’s eyes and shut them.“Why?”“Because if they do, they won’t send you to the Raft, they’ll execute you. They won’t hesitate, not even to listen to your side of the story. I can’t lose you Bucky, not like that.”Conflicted thoughts ran amok in his head as he listened to what Steve was suggesting. He did find that he felt grateful for how much Steve cared about him. A man with such high morals was willing to lie, to hide a terrible truth in order to keep him safe. Bucky very much wanted to stay safe, but could he really allow his friend to cover for him?“This isn’t like you Steve. I can’t let you.”“It’s my choice. I want to help you, and I will.” His face was set on his decision, and Bucky wasn’t sure what to make of it. “But Stark, he’s your friend.” Bucky was sure that had to matter somehow.“He was, but he’s gone.”“He said, you were wrong in trusting me. We were wrong that I was okay…I…”“Bucky.” Steve raised a hand and laid it on his shoulder. “Tony was wrong. I was right to trust you. You’re a good man, and good men make mistakes. Tony just…couldn’t see that it wasn’t your fault. He couldn’t let go of what happened to his parents, that it wasn’t your fault. It was Hydra, not you.”“But…I’m not okay.”Steve turned to him, looking him straight in the eyes.“You’re going to be okay. I’m going to make sure of it. Trust me.”The confliction didn’t end. Bucky looked down at the lifeless body and gave a nod. He didn’t want to make another mistake like that again. He wasn’t Hydra after all, he was a good man, wasn’t he? Steve believed he was. He’d always been a good friend. Back in the day it was the opposite. He’d been the one to look out for Steve when he was still defenseless and small. He’d always be there to help knock aside the bullies. And now in a time where practically the whole world was waiting to turn on him, Steve was willing to defend him from it, by any means possible. Bucky knew he could do it. He believed in him.“I…I trust you.”Steve smiled and patted his shoulder.“Alright. Let’s take care of this quickly.”
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Steve kneeled down before Tony and checked his pockets for a phone. “Take care of that will you,” he said while handing him the phone.Bucky didn’t need an explanation. He crushed the thing to dust with his metal fingers while Steve checked Tony over for any other form of hidden tech and found keys. Afterwards Steve left the room and returned with a sheet and some rope. He spread the sheet upon the floor. Bucky barely paid attention as his eyes were on Tony. It was nerve wracking seeing the man so still. Without a word, Steve lifted Tony and placed him on the end of the sheet. After positioning his hands in front of his body and tucking corners of the sheet over his head, Steve began to slowly roll him up in the fabric. Bucky simply watched feeling quite unsure, but mostly feeling frightened. Once Tony was tightly confined in the sheet, reminiscent of a mummy almost, Steve took the rope and tied it around his form to ensure the sheet would stay in place.“We’ll have to play this by ear,” Steve informed him as he stood. “What are we gonna do with him?”“Bury him, far from here.”Bucky thought back to the video he’d seen of himself getting rid of the Starks.“What if, we made it look like an accident? A car crash.”But Steve shook his head.“It’ll be safer this way. No chance of anything pointing to you. Besides, I’m not sure how the team will respond to seeing the body. If he’s missing, they’ll stay hopeful he’s alive…at least for a while.”He left the room again and this time returned with a large trunk. Wordlessly Steve lifted the body and positioned it to fit inside. He shut the top and locked it, then stepped back.“Steve…I’m scared.”“It’ll be alright. I’m gonna help you through this, I promise.”
At a time when no one was milling around, they carefully carried the trunk down the stairs. Since Tony had not driven over with one of his technically secured cars, Steve had decided it was safe to use. There was no worry of the car alerting Friday in some way as it was nothing special. The trunk was loaded in the backseat, then afterwards Bucky slid into the passenger’s seat and Steve took off. Bucky had been far too tense to ask where Steve was going. His friend needed him to trust him. Bucky decided he would do that.They kept driving until Steve stopped to purchase a shovel. Afterwards Steve continued the drive. Bucky wanted him to keep driving until they were way out of the city. He didn’t want to turn back after what he’d done. How could he face the team even if he meant to keep silent? But Steve only stopped when he found a nicely wooded abandoned area. In such a lost area, Steve buried the Tony. He was quiet the whole time. When he’d finished, Bucky thought something should be said. He knew people usually did that at funerals, though this wasn’t exactly the same.“He was a good man,” Steve had said. He seemed to struggle to say anything else, so he simply walked away. Bucky looked at the patch of dirt feeling more lost than ever. He summed up something to say, though he felt he had no right to address Tony in any way.“I’m sorry.”He joined Steve afterwards. Joined him in the idea that it was best to get rid of the car. It proved to be the perfect object to vent out his anger on anyway. The journey back had been long and painful. Bucky hadn’t recalled much of it whenever he thought back to that day. Steve had always advised him not to think about it. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was because he feared such memories might trigger the Winter soldier or if he thought the guilt would eat him alive. The Winter soldier side had not made an appearance since that day. It was horrible to think that killing Tony killed that part of himself, and if Steve ever thought that was true he never said so. But Tony had been the only member on the team he couldn’t form a bond to, but that didn’t mean he felt better about him being gone.Naturally it was difficult for the team to accept. A chorus of “We’ll find him” had rung around the tower for months, and slowly fizzled to silence. After a year of looking, it was accepted that Tony wasn’t coming back. There was some unsaid acknowledgement that Tony was dead, however people like Rhodes and Clint weren’t quick to believe it.“They will in time,” Steve had assured him. Bucky knew they’d have to as it was the truth. Tony wasn’t coming back. There was no undoing the mistake. When it came down to it, it didn’t matter what Steve had said. The guilt would always be there.The only question was, if he would ever tell it to the world.