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Nate finds the Firefly on Matilda. He flies his new baby out of the lot himself and bumps along in the moon's atmosphere for a good 45 miles before coming to a semi-urgent stop outside Matilda's main city. Despite her assumed gender he briefly considers calling the ship Sisyphus because he is currently identifying with the idea of pointlessly rolling a bolder up a hill. In the end he settles for Bravo, at least as a temporary name to stop himself crooning "baby" over and over to this hunk of metal he's just tied his life to. She is after all the second ship he's ever captained and he likes that referring to her as Bravo also sounds like he's applauding her. He can already tell she's the type of expensive bitch that will need plenty of encouraging.*Despite Nate's still gaunt and sallow countenance Brad recognises the young soldier-politician the moment he walks in to the unregistered "Tech Shop" on Matilda. It's not many Browncoat Captains that sought pardon and attempted to work their way into the Alliance establishment and Fick's election run (and subsequent arrest) had made the News – well, the underground sources at least. Amongst those who fought as Independents many wrote him off as an ambitious sellsword but Nate had caught Brad's attention because somehow it didn't seem to fit quite right - someone trying that hard to present an alternative to the Alliance's ideology in their campaign manifesto wasn't doing it to win points with anyone.Brad hadn't been following it too closely though - especially as Fick's election loss had been inevitable. So while he's surprised to see Captain Fick in front of him – having not been able to keep track of his incarceration or escape – not much in Fick's demeanour gives away what he's been through.In fact Nate is positively glowing, flushed with the excitement of purchasing a vessel and the challenge of making it space-worthy.Brad assumes that Nate must be some kind of eccentric idealist but sets about helping his customer as briskly as usual - fugitives being an excellent source of business.It's not that Brad doesn't log the lips, the sharp, elegant nose, and the (fucking luminous) eyes. In fact he's in danger of completely losing the thread of the conversation because he's uncharacteristically distracted by the sparce, controlled movements of his customer's long hands when Nate mentions that the parts he's buying are for a Firefly. That's when Brad really gets interested.**Brad spends a day with Nate on the floor of Bravo's bridge discussing and planning, drawing layouts and making lists of equipment. They spend the next two days in town sourcing parts and tracking down items that Brad doesn't have stocked in his shopNate forgets how he planned to do all this without Brad.They get drunk each night and sleep in racks on the ship. At some point Nate asks Brad if he doesn't have a home to go to – mostly for curiosity's sake. Brad only looks mildly offended and tells him he sleeps in the back of his shop most nights anyway. Nate doesn't ask about the other nights but Brad grins wickedly and recommends several houses of ill-repute should Nate be interested. Nate isn't.Apparently Brad's shop is being manned in absentia by the combined talents of a certain Josh Ray Person and Walt Hasser who, rather than present Brad with a run-down of the day's earnings, prefer to use Brad and Nate as a test-audience for the many songs they have spent the day writing. Walt has a deep, lilting voice that Ray all but drowns out as he yell-sings his way through the lyrics. Nate rarely understands half of what comes out of their mouths. But Brad seems to enjoy mouthing off at them and they preen under his attention and throw quick insults back at him.By the fifth day of working on the bridge Ray and Walt are complaining loudly and bitterly at not being able to work on the ship during the day. Even completely wasted the evening before, Ray had a lot to say about the workings of the ship that caught Nate's attention and then Ray had spent a good hour before passing out whispering to the GravDampener and Course Deviation Indicator and coercing them into action. Nate finds him asleep the next morning with some of the wiring hanging loosely from his mouth and though Nate is completely bemused he can't fault Ray's effectiveness. He exchanges a look with Brad over Ray's sleeping head and the next day a boy called Trombley is watching Brad's shop and Ray and Walt are happily ensconced under Bravo's dash re-fitting controls and soldering weapons to the mast.**Nate has every detail thought out; every quirk of the ship, every twist of circumstance just spins his mind onto a different, equally well laid out, plan in his mind. It's only when Brad comments on it, half in jest, that Nate finally confirms what Brad's already surmised."It was when I was held prisoner; I had time to think out all the details." The words come out boldly as if Nate is confronting them as he speaks them.Brad breathes out sharply. He knows the answer by now but he asks anyway,"When?" And he means, how long?"From election night," Nate pauses and looks up at Brad as he leans, pouring over engine sketches on what will be the mess-hall table, "Until two weeks ago."Brad doesn't look away but he doesn't have anything to say either. So many things slot into place, the malnutrition, the jitters firmly held at bay, the willingness to drink himself into a coma every night and still managing to be awake before Brad at dawn.And Bravo is the escape plan.Brad tries not to think too much about what Nate went through; he concentrates on making this the best jing tian dwohn di escape ship to lift wing in Space.*Nate's glad Brad doesn't ask any more questions just yet. He's barely registering it all in his own mind. He sees Brad's determination and feels safer, like he might actually get free on this ship before they come for him. He can't talk about what happened to him while he's still trapped on land like this.He thinks about it though: how he lay on the floor of his cell looking out through the high window at the sky - dreaming about the ship he'd buy and what specifications it would have and how he would run her. He planned her meticulously, all purely theoretical, while he endured the solitude for weeks on end.As he had lain confined to his one room looking out at the sky he'd remembered how his grandfather had talked to him about the Black, about the dark freedom space brought when nothing else was left. His grandfather never said much but Nate knew John Fick had spent long years as a prisoner of war while civil war raged between the expansionist solar systems sixty years before. Nate thought about his grandfather over half a century earlier seeing the same sight and the words he had passed onto his grandson, repeated at bedtime, with a gentle hand on Nate's shoulder, "Wherever you are, always, the sky is yours."Nate had stared into the sky from his cell, knowing that same Black lay beyond it, taking the same comfort that his grandfather had. Not quite a prayer and not quite a promise but when Nate had nothing else left he had remembered and had known that there was where he would find his freedom eventually.Nate loves Bravo already for keeping him sane through that even as she languishes around him in hulks of metal, wheels, pages of Brad's coding and soldered wiring everywhere. His new life just now being shaped into a reality.**Brad says yes on the tenth day. Already he knows Nate well enough to see he's been contemplating the best way to ask for the last hour. Eventually it comes out fairly blunt but Brad respects that, he knows where they are with that.Nate's tries to be explicit about his situation. "I'm looking to get clear of the Alliance…."There is a chance they'll come after me…."I'll be looking to keep a low profile, stay in the outer-moons…."But I have this ship and I need a crew."Brad waits, holding Nate's look until,"I want you on my boat Brad."And that's all Brad needs.He says yes ten days after meeting Nate for the first time. He knows it's not as simple as that. He knows others (Ray, and therefore, Walt) will follow him and that he should consider them in his decision but he's been treading water since the war ended – since they lost – and this is the first thing he's wanted in… he doesn't know how long. Besides he already left his life behind the moment Nate invited him to kit out Bravo's deck.Brad asks for two days even though he knows Nate's anxious to get away – he's already been on Maltilda far too long.On the first day Brad ties up all his business affairs. Pays his tabs at the two bars and three brothels that make up his social life (outside of Ray) and writes to his mother (although he tells her very little).The second day he rides his old motorbike all the way to the sea, hires a pretty decent board from a place he knows and surfs for eight hours straight. He stays in the water until the sun sets, his lungs full of salt water, his skin softer than a baby's, just floating. Eventually he gives in to how cold he is and heads in. He already knows this is what he'll miss, there's nothing in space like this. He rides back in the dark, hard and fast, feeling sand and salt and wind everywhere, the white noise of the engine drowning out his thoughts. He doesn't really know what he's doing or why, it just feels like one of those moments where he has to follow his instincts, to do it without thinking. Just like he rides the bike.*Nate's more business-like when he offers Ray and Walt a place on his crew. They seem excited but he notices how they both look to Brad for corroboration before agreeing definitively. They come as a package, Nate sees that.In the end they also take Trombley who simply assumes he'll be coming along seeing as Brad's closing up. Nate doesn't really have to discuss it with Brad, it's just how it is.Thirteen days after landing on Matilda in a cargo ship Nate takes off in Bravo. She takes to the sky with a fury and determination that surprises them all. They were expecting at least one false start, but she seems to have responded to all the love and attention she's received. She practically purrs as she breaks through Matilda's atmosphere and glides into the darkness of space.Nate has the helm for now although Ray's buzzing at his right shoulder begging to take over the piloting. Eventually Nate yields the bridge to him, standing to stretch his legs, letting the tension of being locked on land, openly doing business and risking discovery, float away. They are hurtling towards nowhere at breakneck speed and if he doesn't know where he's heading, he can hope no one will be there to meet him. He breathes deeply and remembers to let himself smile.*Brad catches it as Nate exhales, the corners of his mouth twitching up, his smile getting wider and wider. Brad feels just as exhilarated, lets the pleasure of being airborne once more flood through his whole body. He catches Nate's eye and they grin at each other like school boys. Brad's pretty certain nothing beats this.And then Nate licks his lips and looks down quickly and something dislodges in Brad - something old and beaten down that he doesn't usually think about. His hands form fists at his side.Suddenly Brad isn't free in the emptiness of space. Instead he's confined on a small ship with these same four men for who knows how long – with Nate who is still studiously not looking at him. Brad shakes his head, mentally kicking himself. He slaps a hand to Ray's shoulder and walks over the bridge and out."Stay frosty, gents." He says it for his own benefit. Stay frosty.If Nate's eyes are on him, he's not looking back to check.**They float for months on end, stopping roughly every six weeks for fuelling and food. It's not that they need to stop that frequently but it's good for morale to get off the ship regularly and it's best to stop if you have the chance. No one wants to risk getting lost in an empty sector of space without being properly supplied.After one pit stop on Beaumonde Nate comes back aboard with a stray cat that Trombley takes a fancy to and Nate suggests he moves out of the bunk he's sharing with Ray and Walt in case the cat disturbs them. It's all very casual but Brad can see that he planned it.Brad asks Nate what he thinks about Ray and Walt. Nate assures him he's happy for them."As long as Person keeps flying in a somewhat straight line I couldn't care less."Except Brad sees him staring at Walt sat on the deck of the bridge, head in Ray's lap, half listening to Ray's rambling, half staring off into the deepness of space as Ray strokes Walt's hair absently and feeds him tinned pineapple and feeds himself skittles. The expression on Nate's face in these moments is hard to read but Brad charts longing and sadness and fondness and doesn't know what conclusions to draw.**The first time Nate calls Brad "Sergeant" it's with humour and a quick smile. When Brad calls Nate "Sir" in return it's pointed and amused.The second time Nate says, "Hey, Sergeant, come take a look at this." It sounds rather fond, like he's settling into the nickname.The third time they are refuelling on a border moon and he means it as a mark of respect after Brad steps up and threatens some would-be-looters so comprehensively that Nate gets to sit back and almost enjoy the experience (although he does try valiantly to hide that impression). They drink Sake together afterwards and Nate wants to mark the moment so he clinks their glasses and says,
"Sergeant Colbert. I'm glad you're on my boat."Walt, Trombley and Ray end up calling Nate "sir" as a matter of course. He is their Captain now. They mostly use ‘Nate' when they're drunk or happy or being cheeky and trying to wheedle something out of him. Mostly it's Brad that corrects them if he feels like any of the kids are being out of order.Brad himself falls into the habit somewhat later and Nate can't help but question how natural it is. Brad's voice never sounds as unconscious of the "sir" as the rest of the crew, and Nate never fails to hear it, sometimes jolting right through him, as a challenge or an encouragement. It unsettles him but it does help, because when Brad says it, it unfailing sounds like an affirmation; it sounds like, "I have confidence in you."Nate needs that sometimes.**Nate starts inviting Brad to his office – an unused bunk basically – and they plan each landing meticulously, researching the next planet they plan to land on, everything from the political climate to the flora and fauna. Brad finds it hard admitting, even to himself, how much he enjoys these sessions. For a start, it's a mission, and the anticipation of strategising is like foreplay, and perhaps that's a bad analogy because he shouldn't think like that when he's alone in a room with Nate.Brad gets dizzy sometimes sat with Nate for hours, huddled over screens of country maps and statistics. He gets high on Nate's smile alone. On drawing it out and watching it spread. He catches himself staring at Nate's lips as he rests old-fashioned pens against his lips, tapping restlessly as he considers another angle of their approach. He logs Nate's smell, his fingers drifting over the map in exact movements, Nate's eyes searching his for corroboration or disagreement. At the same time that he's elucidating to Nate on the advantages of two-person only scouting teams he's also wondering what it would be like to reach over and still that hand, or brush those lips. The only reason he doesn't do it is that somehow he can't quite picture it, doesn't quite see it happening. Something holds him back - he's just not sure what it is.*It's been years since Nate's jacked off in more than a peremptory fashion. His life's been too complicated for too long and he hasn't wanted anything more than relief and release from a jack. So it's a strange feeling to suddenly be taking his time with it. At first he thinks that it must be a symptom of this life in space, the long travelling silences that breed a kind of calmness into the ship. Unless something is going wrong there's no need to do anything too quickly. He moves his hand languidly up and down his cock, he's not even trying to come, just letting himself feel it, allowing the pleasure to roll through him, connecting him back together.He's been thinking about Brad for probably about twenty minutes before he really realises he's doing it. He slowly runs his fingers along the underside of his cock, enjoying the gentle throb of being half-hard and in no hurry while he runs through the last conversation he had with Brad about the Alliance presence on Ezra. He pictures Brad's eyes on him as he runs his hand over himself and he bites on his lower lip as if to draw Brad's eyes – he knows how it would, it happens so often it's like dominos. He loves it when Brad's lips mirror his own, he watches as they fold into each other and then how Brad's tongue darts out to moisten them and Nate has to hide his smile because he knows how foolish he's being.Soon he's bringing to mind things about Brad he hadn't realised he'd noticed. He's picturing the careful way he turns his head and then smiles if Ray's amusing him; the way his legs look - spread out forever - when he sits at the kitchen bench directing the cooking; the way he leans over screenmaps angling his body inwards, cocoon-like, over Nate's side. Nate thinks about how he turns to Brad at those moments and Brad is always an inch closer than he's expecting as if he's been waiting for Nate to turn to him. Nate's noticed how Brad waits for a second before he smiles at him, keeping it in his control. Nate thinks about leaning into the warmth Brad creates, realises he thinks of Brad as a kind of shelter.He's fully hard now and his hand flies up and down his cock as he fixates on pressing his lips into the skin at Brad's neck as he leans against him. Nate's hips rear up and he screws his hand down his cock, twisting into it, unable to keep up with the pace of this sudden need. He feels heat flush through him and his whole body keens into his hand as he comes, Brad's face smiling at him in his mind, looking vaguely smug. Nate curses as he collapses back down onto his bed.He lets the little tremors of gratification buzz through him even as his mind reconstructs the walls that keep Brad on the other side. They're a long way out in Space, stuck together on this boat and the last thing his crew needs is their captain going stir-crazy over the second-in-command. Or that's what he tells himself.The truth is, it's the last thing Nate needs, to let Brad in when Nate doesn't know how much of himself is still there. He's clinging onto Captain and alone as the last recognisable remnants of himself and he knows how close he is to handing it all over - unequivocally - to Brad.Somewhere though, at the bottom of all this, Nate's aware, in a suddenly far less abstract way, that it could still be possible for him to feel good.***The Reavers come after they've been sailing for eight months in total. It's been four and a half weeks since they last docked and Nate's crew have just about finished arguing about what their next destination should be. They are pretty far out, edging past the unpopulated outer moons of the Dayton Colony avoiding some Alliance military ships that still patrol around the unruly, former convict planets. Nate's wary of Reaver raids round here, despite very few known sightings, so he has Bravo at low-beam trying not to draw attention to her.They approach fast - almost out of nowhere and then they are on top of Bravo. Ray's voice on the comms is loud and rushed but frustrated rather than panicked."Reavers on our six," Comes across the loudspeakers all over the ship and it feels inevitable.Nate, Brad and the others are running from the dining room before Ray even finishes speaking, with Nate ordering Walt to the guns as he races to the bridge.Suddenly Bravo is filled with the most terrible, high-pitched screeching Nate has ever heard. He knows for a fact it doesn't come from Ray Person. The Reavers have jammed the comms.They crowd behind Ray on the bridge as Ray pushes Bravo as hard and fast as she can go. He's flying like a maniac but Nate's hoping there's an edge of genius behind it too. He can see the Reavers are flying a Dragonfly Class boat which far outmanoeuvres and outpaces the Firefly. There's only so long Ray can keep Bravo afloat. Nate braces for the impact as the Dragonfly smoothly slides its way alongside the ship despite the way both vessels are hurtling at breakneck speed. The tentacle-like legs extend over Bravo's hood and bounce off again as Ray swings right sharply and they all crash to one side. Nate breathes deeply, shoulder smarting painfully. He caught sight of the magnetic grappler sliding out of the belly of the ship just before Ray threw Bravo sideways.*In the end it comes down to Ray's flying; and the choice between keeping Bravo together and keeping her at all.Walt and Brad man weapons and fire grenades into the base of the Reaver's ship as it opens to latch onto Bravo but Nate stays on the bridge and orders Ray to use up all his girl's got.*Afterwards Brad watches from the back of the bridge as Nate tries to get a handle on their situation - watches Nate force himself to be objective and think through all the angles. He listens as Ray explains what's still working and what's dead in the water. Ray used all five backup power-gaskets at once to generate enough boost to clear the sector in eight seconds flat, far quicker than a Dragonfly class could follow without doing the same kind of damage. They can all see the necessity of it, but it leaves them without ass or cover now and it doesn't look like they'll be moving again without some kind of assistance.They run a diagnostic drill and find that while most of the comms and navigational systems are functioning, the core engine is seriously fucked and the whole ship looks to be powering down. There's no way they can fly - they're floating now without any direction. Nate orders a shutdown of all non-essential power usage. The lights go off in all but the bridge. The air supply is rationed down to the minimum possible. Nate has Ray stop running the navigational tech but keep the scanners on. They need to know if anything comes at them. They run through their mayday signals but Brad can see Nate is not happy about using them. They don't know who's out there.*It's funny but the solution lands fully formed in Brad's mind. For something he hadn't thought about for decades, didn't know he'd even remembered, it's suddenly clearly set out before him.Wash and their codes come flooding back to him, as exact and unbreakable as the day they devised them. He doesn't think about what it means for him. He just thinks it might help Bravo survive. It's someone they can call on. He steps forward and puts a hand on Nate's shoulder. "We could try this..."**Bravo is like a ghost ship. The lights are off almost everywhere. Candles are strewn here and there but they are more to measure oxygen levels than to provide any substantial light. The incessant clatter and hum of the engine is missing and the silence of space seems to have crept into the ship, wrapping it like a shroud.Nate thinks perhaps he should gather everyone together but somehow that would feel more like huddling, waiting to die and he doesn't want to do that. He wants to be living. More than anything else right now, more than any ideal or political belief, more than any small difference he could make, he just wants to be alive and keep his crew that way.The guilt and responsibility weigh him down more than anything else ever has. He remembers the months he spent in solitary, knowing that he had propelled himself there inevitably with his campaign. He remembers the sense of being disappeared, lost to everyone who would care, unsure who that was anyway. He knows now who that would be. He knows that if the Alliance took him now these men would come for him. The knowledge terrifies him. He cares for them the same way and he has brought them to this. Waiting for a miracle, abandoned and exposed, beyond the protection of the law or the state because he is amongst them.He seeks out Brad. The darkness should make his search harder but he doesn't falter and he walks straight to Brad's bunk. There's a hatch that leads down to it and it's small inside. Nate lowers himself in carefully, to avoid landing on Brad or his bed. He hasn't been down here since it officially became Brad's bunk.*Brad is waiting in the dark - flashlight flickering off then on then off again - listening for the sound of feet striding firmly over the metal passage. He feels a sense of calm settle over him. A readiness he hasn't felt before, not with Nate. This can happen now. Because it could be the end. He almost wants it to be. If it means he can have this. If it means he doesn't have to face them arriving to rescue him.Nate just needs to get here.*Brad shines his flashlight on the ladder rungs as Nate makes his way down and then he's standing in front of Brad and Nate doesn't know if Brad is crowding him deliberately or there really is this little space in the bunk.And then he does know.He tilts his head back to rest against one rung of the ladder as Brad looms over him. The flashlight is pointed to the floor and Nate can't see Brad but he can feel him leaning into every part of him, feel his low, shallow breaths steal over him."Brad.""Don't talk sir, you'll need your energy with this little air.""Don't call me sir Brad." How many times has he wanted to say that?"You're the Captain, Nate." Brad's mouth ripples over Nate's neck."The ship's shut down Brad, there's nothing to Captain." Brad's name thrills him every time he says it aloud. The darkness isn't darkness anymore; the darkness is silent, clever, mocking, earnest and beautiful. The darkness isn't a shroud, it's a release."This'll work Nate, I really think it will." Even Brad sounds a little surprised by his certainty. It reassures Nate because it sounds like he's really thought about it."Okay.""Okay. We just have to wait."Nate pictures the signals threading through space, ghosting undetected alongside the Mr Universe mainframe, adding tiny coded coordinates to a frequency only one other person knows how to detect. He thinks of Brad's friend, Wash, recognising the signals, realising what it means, that he's being reached out to across the galaxy. It's kind of beautiful. Perhaps it'll even work. Just not in time Nate thinks.Brad's hand brushes Nate's cheek and neck. Nate feels his skin shiver in its wake. He realises he has a hand on Brad's hip, resting. He doesn't know when he put it there, seeking confirmation of Brad's form in the darkness, but it's there now and Brad hasn't shirked him away so he tightens his grip, pulls him in."I've been waiting Brad." And just like that they're talking about it.Brad lets out a gust of air that could be a low cry of frustration or one of agreement. His hands grip shakily to Nate's face, thumbs moving fiercely against skin - at his jaw and cheekbones. Nate thinks he's going to move in closer still, angles his face up in encouragement, but Brad leans back and picks up his flashlight again. Carefully, torturously, he scans Nate's body with the light.The light quivers a little as it caresses Nate's body. When it reaches his face Nate only sees the brightness of the light pointed at his eyes as the flashlight illuminates his features for Brad. He averts his eyes a little to stop from squinting, tries to stare through the light to where Brad's face should be. His chin juts out a little in concentration and he purses his lips. The light trembles again as it settles on his lips."How young you are." Brad sounds quiet, marvelling."We're both young Brad." Too young to die he means.Finally, Brad drops the light again and as it falls it briefly illuminates Brad. Nate's breath falters at the way he looks now, focused on Nate with his whole being, with a flushed determination that Nate would never dream of withstanding, and a violent grin that changes his whole face as he leans in:
"We're going to live forever." It sounds like a conspiracy.Nate can only agree. Forever and tonight are the same thing now. And it's time. Nate knows it, and now he thinks Brad does too. It's just time."I'm done waiting Sergeant." Nate's voice is low and commanding. He pushes Brad backwards, knowing that the bunk is behind him and Brad goes, folding at the knees so he's sitting on the bed, back against the wall. Nate kneels on the bed over him.Nate moves his mouth hesitantly towards Brad's, slowly. Nate feels like he's actively trying to make time stand still. The shadow of Brad's face is visible but his breathing is the most real thing about him, even as Brad arches pointedly beneath him. Nate touches his lips to Brad, rests them there in greeting. Brad doesn't move. Nate can sense him watching, waiting to see what Nate will do. He thinks, if he could see them, Brad's eyes would have a hint of amusement in them, he thinks he can sense Brad's lips twitching upwards just slightly at the edges. Nate presses his lips down firmly and then moves back again, just so Brad can chase him up. So much of Brad is under the surface and Nate thrills at the ripples in the waves beneath. He realises he could spend all night drawing Brad out, edging along the boundaries and teasing him out. Nate knows it would be time well spent, even if this is their last night. But it's too new and he already wants more.He crushes their lips together again, harder this time and uses his tongue to taste Brad and push further into his mouth. Brad opens beneath him, groaning as he coaxes Nate's tongue further in, presses back with his own. Nate feels himself getting overwhelmed with his own need. He begins to claw at Brad's clothes. His t-shirt is soft and Nate reels at the reality of putting his hands everywhere he has forbidden himself to think of. His hands creep under the shirt and find skin. He doesn't think about anything but the solid strength of Brad. He pulls the shirt over Brad's head and follows suit with his own, abandoning them to the darkness.And then Brad's hands are on him and he feels the fire of them. Lips follow and Nate's head tips back, chest arching towards Brad, giving himself over to the exploring mouth. It's so strange that Brad's touching him; that Brad's here, wanting him. It feels like a gift from Bravo - at the moment of destruction he finally gets to have this. In the madness of his lust he thinks it's worth it .Nate hears Brad fiddling with his own belt. The dark makes Nate uninhibited. He scoots back off Brad and out of the rest of his clothes then pulls Brad's pants and briefs off too. If they're doing this, and they are, they may as well be naked. All Nate can think is yes as he clambers back over Brad. Brad is hard between Nate's legs and Nate grinds down and he's delighted in that moment that Brad can't see him because he knows he's looking fucking joyful right now and that's just plain undignified in a Browncoat officer and a Firefly Captain.*Brad looks into the blankness, barely able to see his own nose and yet there Nate is. All over him. And how many times has he lain here in this bunk and visualised this happening and yet he still feels taken unawares by this. Nate moves confident and assured above him, Brad feels like he's running to catch up. He wants to touch everywhere, to be everywhere. His hands can't stop moving all over Nate. They seem to need no direction from him, they are following patterns his mind can't keep up with, over calves, thighs, hips; sliding up past belly, chest, nipples; pressing down round shoulders, back, ass, thighs; pulling Nate in, thrusting against him.Nate smells like he always smells but now he tastes like it too. Does he always taste this way or is there a flavour of adrenaline and last moments that isn't always there? Brad doesn't know if he will get to find out so he bites down, taking as much as he can of whatever there is now. Nate cries out, choking on Brad's name. Brad licks up his neck as it stretches endlessly before him. He bruises kisses hard into Nate's skin. If they're going to die here, they're going to die marked by each other; Brad claims his territory, as if he'll need a map to get back here. He feels Nate's fingers scrape down his back and doesn't know if it could ever be enough. He doesn't want to forget Nate was here.*Nate's forgotten where he is. If Brad wasn't repeating the word huskily into his skin Nate doubts he'd know his own name.He manages to gasp the word "lube" just as Brad's hands brush over his ass again, fingers grazing his hole as they pass on round. Brad detaches one hand and reaches somewhere to his right. The hand returns with a pot of something that Nate's never going to be able to read in this light. It has an odd texture but Nate can't bring himself to wonder or care. He takes the tin and coats one finger.Then Nate realises if he can't show he may as well tell."I'm just starting with one finger inside myself."He gasps as he follows his own directions. "Loosening up a little."Nate hears the blush colouring in his voice as well as his cheeks but Brad swallowing hard keeps him focused."Copy that sir." Brad grates out. Nate knows he's smirking a little as he gusts out another breath, pushing himself down on his finger a little further. And fuck he's tight, he can hardly bear just this one finger intruding, and he knows the other reason he's doing this for himself first is to test himself, make sure he can take it before he gives himself over to Brad like this. He puts his other hand on Brad's shoulder, balancing himself, levering himself up and down as he arches his chest up. He feels himself opening slightly, attempts a tentative twist of his finger, and groans at the sensation. Brad's hands clamp down on his hips and take his weight so Nate can move up and down easier. Brad rubs his whole face into Nate's chest as it arches towards him, there are words and sounds streaming steadily from his lips as he mouths over Nate's neck and collarbone and nipples. It feels utterly consuming, if he could think coherently enough, Nate would know it feels like being adored.His free hand reaches for one of Brad's and he lifts it to his mouth taking in two fingers and sucking down hard, coating it with saliva. His tongue has a will of its own as it moves heavily around Brad's fingers. Brad groans despite himself and Nate knows the man opposite him is coming apart as much as he is.When he can't wait any longer Nate takes Brad's fingers from his mouth and draws them behind him to meet his other hand. He leans his face back in to Brad's and whispers hoarsely, "Together."The "fuck yes" he gets in response is honestly more than he was expecting. Brad crashes their lips together as he fumbles to push a finger in beside Nate's. Nate braces himself, legs tense and trembling, holding his body steady. He can't focus on the kiss, but he doesn't fight it either, just opens and lets Brad's tongue fuck his mouth. Nate feels Brad's finger breach him, he's slick and messy down there and Brad's hand encircles his own as his finger slides up into him. Nate stays still. He doesn't know how to move yet. It's like his body is being attacked and yet he knows if he can let it happen, stop fighting back, it will feel amazing.There's another freedom here he just has to open up for it.*If Brad's honest with himself he didn't think he would ever get this, didn't think it was anything Nate would ever let happen. But he's here and Nate is heavy over him and panting into his mouth, opening, opening, and he's pressing a finger in and stroking up and down the wall inside Nate and it feels like he finally got swallowed by the Black after a lifetime of just staring into it.The tightness of Nate around him is sending him a little crazy. Nate sinks slowly down around his finger and licks around his ear before, "another" and if he could see him at all Brad would look at him to check he was sure. Nate bucks around his hand - demanding. Brad thinks he murmurs out, "Direct order sir?" But he can't be sure and it's immaterial anyway because his second finger is already pressing up into Nate and Nate's breathing fast into his ear as a result, struggling to hold himself together and Brad can't wait for him to stop trying.Getting his Captain to stop holding it together might well be the last mission of his life but Brad's at peace with that. His mouth is at Nate's neck and he snakes his arm around Nate's back as Nate practically folds backwards, his free hand loosely roaming Brad's body. Judging from this level of relaxed Brad thinks Nate's pretty ready and he carefully draws his fingers out, taking Nate's with him. Nate grunts and rights his body so he's face to face with Brad again. Brad brings Nate's hands around between their bodies, circling their erections. Brad strokes carefully. He's so turned on he barely remembers another state of being. It feels like he's been hard for a lifetime. He shudders as Nate's hand grasps both cocks, rubbing them together, peeling upwards. Nate's forehead rests against his and he can feel them both trembling against each other, and Brad tries to steady his breathing into Nate's mouth. He knows now what he wants, what they both want, why they're here."Nate. Nate. Are you ready?"Nate nods against him. The yes is pressed into his lips as Nate heaves himself upwards, positioning himself above Brad. Brad holds his cock at the base, steadying himself as Nate starts to push down.It's an exercise in control and self-restraint that Brad has never experienced. Nate moves so minutely there are long seconds when Brad doesn't know if he's even planning on going any further down. He can feel Nate's thighs quivering as he holds himself up. Brad lets out gusts of frustrated air and moves his hands behind him on the bunk, he tries to jerk himself up but it just makes Nate slide up, causing him to begin his slow descent again. He hears Nate make a pleased sound, part giggle almost, aborted quickly and Brad can't believe how much Nate is enjoying torturing him. The thought makes Brad smile slowly because after all two can play that game. Carefully he reaches between them to touch the tip of Nate's cock, using his thumb and one finger to gently twist the skin at the top. Nate grunts and pushes down a little further.Brad is starting to like this game.*Nate's struggling to control himself. His stomach is jittering, he doesn't know what he's doing, even as he carefully, oh so slowly, lowers himself onto Brad. He pauses every millimetre, relishing the feel of Brad's cock disappearing within him, pushing at his hole, stretching him wider than he thought he could go. He doesn't want a second of this to hurt. Brad begins to jerk beneath him and Nate retreats at the threat to his control. Brad's fingers on his dick are like shock waves to his brain. He wants to fight Brad back, swat his hands away but he doesn't, he knows this isn't just about him. He wants it to be good for Brad too. He hears Brad suck his breath in, wanting. Nate pushes down a little further. His legs are shaking, begging him to collapse down, impale himself on Brad's cock.
Nate takes a couple of deep breaths and reaches forward to draw Brad in for a kiss, he keeps their mouths locked together and then he surges down.They groan together and Nate feels his eyes roll back in his head at the sudden short circuiting of everything.And then everything is fast and hot and full and Brad is pumping frantically up into him, hands tight at his hips pulling him down. It feels like a fight, like they're both desperate to get what they need here as if it's a race only one of them can win, Nate writhes on top of Brad, searching for the right angle, moving in awkward syncopation with Brad's thrusts. They're both crying out into each other's skin, teeth and nails and arms grabbing and surrounding each other. Nate feels like Brad is trying to crush him into him. They are both so close, clawing at each other to get over the edge.Nate doesn't know how to get there."Wait." He pants heavily. "Brad. Brad." He presses down on Brad's shoulder and hip. Brad stills beneath him and Nate squirms down him so he's sat fully on Brad - resting on his balls and thighs. Nate tips Brad's head up, kisses him quietly."Brad.""Nate?" Brad's pretty much growling."Together. Okay? Let's do this together."Slowly Nate starts to move again, smooth up Brad's cock. And this time Brad chases him, just as Nate lowers himself back down. "Yes. Good. Fuck. Yes."Nate croons encouragement and bends himself over Brad a little more, adjusting the angle. This time when they move, Brad hits just where he's supposed to. Nate makes noises with no consonants. Brad does it again. Nate groans incessantly as he speeds up his movements and Brad quickens with him. There's really only yes and fuck and Brad and Nate reverberating through the darkness and the slap of skin on skin, ass to balls; and he's so full.Brad's hand starts stripping Nate's cock furiously, in time with their movements and Nate feels slick, wet sensation running through his body. He's taking deep gasping breaths and he doesn't care about the lack of air because it all tastes of Brad and sex and at last.His orgasm pounds through him like it's the last thing he'll ever feel. He tightens around Brad and presses his body up against him so he feels his come coating Brad's chest and his own.He feels like he's floating.*Nate clenches around Brad in shuddering bursts of energy. Brad feels covered, surrounded. He feels like he can't escape, and then he does. Violent fits of come pulse out of him, filling Nate more. He thinks he's shouting and he kisses Nate hard to try and drown himself out.Nate kisses him back like he's trying to let Brad's orgasm surge through him too.They come down slowly, Brad softening inside of Nate. It feels kind of sore but Brad doesn't know how to move. He just pants into Nate's neck and focuses on his heartbeat.Eventually Nate tries to move. His first attempt is pretty fruitless, he collapses back down and Brad groans at the pressure of it.Nate presses his forehead to Brad's cheek and waits a few breaths. He whispers, "Shit." And Brad doesn't know if it's to himself or to Brad but it feels like an acknowledgement of something. Nate gathers himself and peels himself up and off. The lack of support causes them both to sway sideways and Brad lets them fall down onto the bunk, Nate half on top of him. He wonders if they'll ever be waking up. It doesn't stop him closing his arms around Nate and shutting his eyes.**The Firefly floats blindly through Space. It feels to Nate like Bravo has accepted her fate, she's already drifting as if there were no one alive within her, no one at her helm. Nate's too drained and sated to move. He's basically stuck to Brad. He wonders where she'll take them too, if she'll be found and boarded. Will the usurpers come down here and find them asphyxiated and entwined? Perhaps they'll still be stuck together and the intruders will have to throw them together out through the air lock and they'll be sucked into the Black still wrapped up in each other like this. Nate doesn't find the idea unappealing, especially if Bravo will get fixed and keep flying. It means something. Better than Bravo wafting along the raggedy edge fossilising her passengers. As long as the Reavers don't get her, he thinks idly. His brain is fried. There's so little oxygen left, the air is thin and his head hurts a lot and he's been in this darkness so long he's lost track of whether his eyes are open or not. Brad's breathing is shallow but steady beside him and the way they're squidged together should really be uncomfortable but Nate's past caring.All of a sudden he hears shouting and heavy footfalls on the floor grid above Brad's room. Trombley is calling for him. Nate heaves himself up as the hatch above the bunk flies open and the beam of a flashlight flicks in. There's a pause and a sharp intake of breath from somewhere behind the light and he knows he's well and truly busted. For a second Trombley seem to have forgotten why he's come, the sight of Brad and Nate both completely naked and fucked out on the bed seems to have distracted him pretty effectively.Nate has to bring him to. "What is it James?" He's worried about what could be approaching and terrified of the hope that's building inside him.Trombley snaps out of it. "A ship. A Firefly. It's signalling us. 3 clicks out max. Sir."Nate breathes, ignoring the ugly tone wavering in Trombley's voice. "Is it friendly?""Don't know, Captain, Ray's working on the comms now. I just came to get you. And, er, Colbert.""Get to the weapons store and then go to the rigging. Give me a minute and I'll get Walt to meet you there. He is on the bridge is he?""Yes sir." He's already moving. Nate dives for the other flashlight, abandoned sometime early in the night, before Trombley's receding flash-light disappears completely. He flicks it on and starts reaching for his clothes. Suddenly sticky is the worst thing in the world to be. He flicks water from Brad's sink in the corner all over himself."Brad. Get up. Brad. Brad. Sergeant."Brad rolls slightly and groans. He's obviously completely lightheaded. Nate remembers to move slower. There's no point in fainting now there's things to do.He sits back on the bed and shakes Brad briefly. He has no time for this right now. It sucks but it's just how it is. They're lucky to be alive. "Brad. I need you to get a grip. Come on. There's an unidentified Firefly coming at us.""It's Wash," Comes Brad's laboured response, eyes still closed. "Its fine now Nate."Nate doesn't know whether to be worried or irritated but he leaves Brad there. The best he can do for Brad is get some fucking oxygen back on Bravo. He climbs the ladder out of the bunker quickly and doesn't let himself look back.*When Brad appears at his shoulder 5 mikes later he looks impossibly fresh and unruffled. He looks at Nate the same as always and his voice is steady as he asks if the cavalry have arrived. Ray beams at him in answer. Something in Nate recedes as he leans over to the communication unit to speak to the approaching ship."Captain Reynolds, thanks for coming."The Captain on the screen grimaces, "My pilot didn't leave me much choice, but you're welcome."Nate nods. "It's appreciated.""We're landing over your hatch now. No launching any grenades into our landing bay please."Ray's clearly been making friends.*Nate looks over at Brad who suddenly seems incredibly tense. How is he so much further away in the light than in the darkness?"Your friends came through for us Brad. Thank you."At the last words, Brad looks at him abruptly. Eyes suddenly focusing in from wherever they'd been wandering. He half rolls his eyes as if to say, ‘You don't have to thank me.'And then Brad reaches over a hand to Nate's cheek, skimming fingers down his neck over a bruise he had made in the dark last night and his tongue rolls across his lips briefly.Nate grins at him despite himself.**The first day on board Serenity is fucking awkward. The whole crew and all the ramshackle passengers wait in the main loading area to see the Bravo crew scramble aboard as Bravo itself is suctioned to the side of Serenity. Captain Reynolds greets Nate politely, like old friends not total strangers and Brad knows that is because of Wash and Zoe and is grateful.Brad breathes steadily and forces himself to keep looking ahead and move his eyes over each member of the rescue crew; a perky girl with kind-looking eyes, a serious, studious looking boy, a Shepherd (just what Brad needed), a Companion, an odd sprite-girl who peers fleetingly round one corner, one shooter high up on the mezzanine, and then two other bodies that Brad's situational awareness tells him are them before his eyes get anywhere near them. He can already sense their eyes on him. He feels so constricted and on view."Zoe." He says her name before he meets her eyes. As if his mind has to convince itself this is happening before it actually does. He raises his eyes and there she is looking frankly at him. He can see her concern and pity clearly. He wants to puke – still dazed from all the lights and oxygen. He wants to say everything all at once and get that look off her face.She mouths his name, seemingly unable to get any sound out with it. She opens her arms and pulls him into her embrace, and they are fucking hugging now.Over her shoulder he sees Wash jumping nervously from foot to foot, and shit if these two aren't making a big deal of this. It isn't like he hasn't ever seen them or hung out with them since it happened -just because it's been awhile. Christ. He runs a hand over his head as he pulls out of Zoe's arms – as strong as he remembers. He reaches out to Wash, charting the steady flow of emotions flying over his friend's face. He wonders if his looks the same. He sure as heck hopes not. They shake hands."Right, well, shiny" says Mal, breaking into the silence. "Now that we're all friends, we can get on with fixing your boat."**On the first night they all eat dinner together. There's not enough seat space in the dining room so they eat like it's some kind of buffet party and Nate can hear Ray complaining about how it's all kinds of liberal ass gay to be wafting around with food like this. Nate thinks Ray's problem must be that there actually are plates to eat off of which make it harder for Ray to simply pour food into his mouth as he generally does with the rations on Bravo.Ray's being particularly obnoxious tonight and Nate knows it's because he can sense the tension in the room and that he's trying to deflect attention from Brad as much as possible. Nate kind of loves him for it.River stares at Ray intently, she moves in circles around him, putting her face in close to his and then swaying backwards. Ray's loving it. He hasn't taken off his oversized sunglasses since they boarded, as if he needs to protect his eyes from the lighting on Serenity. He grins at River, his mouth full of food and then gnashes his teeth together, sauce spilling over his lips and flying out at her. She withdraws offended but can't seem to stay away. He grins again and she smiles back at him.
The brother – Simon – moves towards Ray reaching his arms out, telling River to stay away from him, but Brad grabs Simon and holds him back. Simon turns, annoyed but its Zoe that speaks, the rest of the room suddenly silent."Brad. Let go of him."He looks at her - still holding Simon. He seems uncertain and it makes Nate feel terrible seeing that. An uncertain Brad is always an unhappy Brad.Ray glares at Zoe sullenly. Nate can see Ray resents her for ordering Brad around like this. He suddenly feels a rush of gratitude that Ray hasn't looked at him that way yet."Ta ma de, Brad. Take your hands off him." It's an entreaty but even though she's spoken quietly Zoe's voice reverberates round the room. Brad responds, releasing Simon. Nate knows beyond a doubt that she's spoken with a voice that he recognises, one that he's practiced at responding to and the familiarity of it stops Nate short. Suddenly he hates that they're here, regrets every decision he's made that has resulted in him bringing Brad back to everything he was hoping to escape.*Afterwards Brad goes with Wash to see Serenity's bridge. He picks up one of the toy dinosaurs as he stands to Wash's left and looks out into the Black once more. He thinks he remembers giving one to Wash once as a peace offering for something.Wash looks up at him knowingly. "This one." He points to a small green tyrannosaurus figure. "You got it in a happy meal and slid it over the table to me to make up for not telling me about the compression codes for a logistics test."Brad smiles at the memory of the peace-offering, as well as at the satisfaction of having beaten Wash in that test. Even long after flight school was over, some things you don't grow out of. And it wasn't like he hadn't wanted to tell Wash about those codes, he just hadn't found him in time."If I give it back to you can we kiss and make up?" Wash looks genuinely hopeful but Brad knows it's Wash's guilt and insecurity that makes it hard for them to be friends again, as much as Brad's resentment. He just rolls his eyes because it doesn't look like they're ever getting past this; and then, because the peace offering already came when Wash raced through space to pick him up, he takes the tyrannosaurus and turns it around in his hands. "The dinosaur of peace, eh."Wash chuckles, a little happier, and Brad likes to see it."So the codes still work. That's pretty ninja.""Yeah well, it did take us three terms to get them right. All those detentions you did for our early failures are looking pretty worth it now aren't they?"Brad agrees. It had been a lot of work figuring out the frequencies the instructors wouldn't pick up but it couldn't have been more worth it now that it looks like Bravo will keep flying.He prompts Wash further, "You must have done some pretty insane flying to get to us that fast.""I am a leaf on the wind Brad. I'm a leaf on the wind.""Yeah Wash, I remember. I see how you soar."Wash's answering smile is much more relaxed than Brad's seen it in years. He spits his dip and smiles in return before flopping down in the other chair to start examining Serenity's navigation system.**Simon and Walt sit side by side on the steps leading down to the engine room on Bravo. Walt is stripping and cleaning weapons, Simon is doings something similar with medical equipment. Neither of them are talking much but from the smiles flitting across their faces they are both listening to the conversations going on below them.Nate smiles at the domesticity of the scene. At least some members of the two crews are getting on alright – the tension between Zoe and Wash and Brad when they arrived could not have been more obvious – Ray's belated explanations had been almost gratuitous. Nate feels for Brad but he's left him alone to deal with it. He doesn't know where they stand now really and he feels so off kilter on the new ship.Ray and Kaylee are engaged in some kind of complex game of twister involving both their bodies, the engine hub and various spools of connective devices. The only distinguishable features between them are their voices, Ray's frenetic dialogue cutting back and forth between intricate musings on the nature of the engine difficulties, a tender coaxing of machine parts attempting to soothe them back to work, and a more overarching thesis on the state of the galaxy, the Alliance's multitude of organizational fuck-ups that led to the accidental dismissal of the Firefly class engine and the retarded "driving" Wash calls flying a ship.Kaylee ducks seamlessly in and out of Ray's thought processes. She picks up on his diagnoses of the engine problems, elaborating on his summations, questioning and directing their movements as much as Ray is. They already seem in tune with each other's approach to the machine. She mostly ignores the rest of his chatter except to hum along if Ray bursts into song or to flail arms or legs violently in his direction as soon as he starts badmouthing Wash or Zoe or anyone else on her crew. When Ray starts up on this her mouth sets in a firm line and she frequently refuses to hand over tools or connect pieces until Ray changes the subject.Ray can't seem to help himself though. He's so fired up over Wash and Zoe and Brad. Nate thinks Ray would have already beat Wash five-ways-to-Sunday if Brad hadn't expressly forbidden it. Nate thinks he might have helped him. Except he's only known Wash a few hours and already he's finding it pretty difficult to dislike him.Some movement from Walt drags Nate's attention away from the mechanics and its clear Ray clocks it too because he stops talking for a second and grins at Walt naughtily.Nate watches as Simon belatedly registers the silence and looks up, vaguely curious. Ray's dirty grin and Walt's luxuriant squirms send his eyes back down to his instruments post-haste. Ray disentangles himself from Kaylee and the machine. "Break time." He announces loudly, voice brooking no dissent. Walt's already heading out the door. Nate raises his eyebrows as the two of them squish past him.Walt looks a little sheepish. "We'll be back soon, sir."Ray just looks gleeful. "Gotta keep the crew happy and natives from getting restless Captain. You should know what it takes."Nate smiles at them both permissively. He thinks he's probably getting off lightly, given that Trombley has had more than enough time to spread his gossip and Ray definitely knows because earlier he couldn't stop slapping Brad on the back and doing little jigs on the spot around him. Brad's probably done some forbidding on that score too.The two of them scurry off down the passage way, Walt cuffing Ray round the head as they go. Nate doesn't know what it would be like to have that, except he thinks maybe he and Brad could have something of their own if he could just work out how to get there. He leans against the wall and listens to Simon and Kaylee dance awkwardly around each other. He doesn't want that for him and Brad. He sighs quietly and decides to take a quick once round on Bravo before heading back to Serenity.**Wash has plotted the course to Osiris so they can get the parts they need for Bravo and Brad rests in a makeshift rack in Serenity's cargo bay. He's slept lightly for a couple of hours but it's not been very restful. He just wants to be on his own – preferably with his bike. Everywhere he turns it's either Zoe or Nate. He watches Zoe tuck napkins into Wash's shirt and knows he could never have been a part of that, he's happy she found what really suited her; but then he turns to see Nate in intimate conversation with the Companion – Inara - like they go back years, and he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel. He's on the outside again. It's all too retarded for words. He'd welcome Ray's inane chatter right now but the little trailer park hick is nowhere to be seen.All he wants is the sea. He gets up and walks through Serenity, through the airlock and onto Bravo, automatically relaxing as he goes. He knows what he's looking for.He finds Nate on the metal stairs overlooking the main deck. He looks tired. His eyes seem big again, like they haven't since they met when Nate was only just getting used to eating properly again. This time it looks more like worry and relief and confusion. Brad stops about a foot away from Nate's curled up body as he sits on the steps. Nate looks up at him and Brad gives him his best, ‘let's not mess around' face. He's tempted to flick a foot out and kick at Nate's toe but he doesn't. It's not the same in the light.Except that it is. He still wants him, he remembers what it's like to touch him, to be inside him.Nate kind of half-smiles up at him, not saying anything. In the end Brad can't bear it."You know the Companion?"It's not what he means or what he wants to ask but Nate relaxes at the detour the question gives them.Nate's mind flashes to the luxurious hut-landings built into the trees in the forest near Sihnon City. How he had stayed there with Inara for three days, while she listened to him and pleasured him, caring for him in a hundred different ways. How he had given into it even as his mind finally acknowledged that the life he was living could never be enough for him.Nate doesn't know how to convey any of that to Brad, so he says, stiltedly, "My eighteenth. Before college. From my dad. His idea of a coming of age present. I don't think he told my mum so he must have been worried I was sly."Nate knows his grin is a little bitter.Brad's eyebrows rise. "It seems like he may have been on to something."Suddenly Nate's eyes glint mischievously, "What gave you that idea?"Brad laughs with him and finally reaches out with his foot to stub Nate's toe. Nate reaches out a hand to him and Brad takes it and heaves Nate to his feet. He lands in Brad's space, too close to be anything but full of intent. Brad tugs Nate's hand, pulling him the rest of the way in and their smiles meet briefly before Brad's pressing little kisses to his Captain's lips, welcoming him back. He winds his arms around Nate, who in turn wraps his arms over Brad's shoulders, stretching himself upwards so he's as close to Brad's height as he can get. Nate's grin is worth everything, Brad knows that now.
Despite Zoe, despite Wash, and Bravo in tatters around him, he feels bursts of happiness that he has to work hard to rein in - he kind of feels like twirling Nate in the air. He compromises by hoisting him round and leaning him over the banister and kissing him hard. Everything else can wait because he has this now.Nate straddles Brad with his legs, wrapping them around so Brad's holding him up and Nate's looking down at Brad, and then he's kissing him with a clear intent this time.*Nate feels a little wild – buzzing with something like happiness – and he feels younger than he ever could have done back on Sihnon with Inara trying to be grown up. He feels more a part of something then he has since leading his men in the war of Unification; he feels his freedom more truly than any time since his escape from prison; and here on this ship, with this man, he feels like himself more completely than he can ever remember feeling.Nate can't help it when their kiss dissolves into laughter.