Work Text
It was the morning of Jack’s 50th birthday. He had spent most of the morning in his office at 30 Rock watching the old home movies his mother had sent him. Liz walked in to find him lost deep in reminiscence. “Oh is that you! I love your little sweater vest! oh, wow, you threw up!” “Oh, as a kid you never got so excited you vomited?” Jack replied. “No. No one dose that. I mean, i’ve peed a little!” Liz told him thinking back to an event earlier this week when Lutz got his tie caught in the paper shredder. “You know Lemon I found a list I made when I was ten, of all the things I wanted to do before i turned Fifty!” Jack said handing her the yellowing piece of parchment. “Oh wow looks like you’ve done everything! Except become friends with batman!” “I still have a couple hours. Jonathan get me Adam West’s people on the phone!” “Wait Jonathan is Back? What happened to Dagny?” Liz asked. “Did someone call my name?” Dagy said making an entrance with his usual flair. “Hey Dagney, how the apartment hunt going?” “Good I actually found a place in that building Sigourney Weaver’s character lived in, in Ghostbusters!” “Awe, you Jag! I’m so jealous!” Liz gushed. As a feminist she loved strong female actrsses like Sigourney Weaver. “Don’t be you would not believe what I found in the fridge!” Dagny added. “Oh Jack before I forget I’ve got the final RSVP’s in and the caters should be arriving at about three. And Your taylor should be there around four so he’ll have your new suit ready by five.” “Wait I’m confused are you two dating or are you still doing that weird master servant thing!” “Both actually!” Jack said. Liz gaged at the idea of anything sexy. “Nope. Shut it down!” She said as she slowly backed out the the room awkwardly while Jack and Dagny stared at each other intensely. Later that afternoon Dagny and Kenneth took a cab over to Mr. Donaghy’s penthouse. They got out of the elevator and arrived just in time to help set up for the party. Dagny walked into the living room to find Jack standing in his boxers; drinking a glass of scotch while the suit maker measured him for a new tux. You know I wore nothing but hand me downs until i was 12 years old, now look at me!” Jack said as he took another sip of his drink. Dagny's eyes lowered towards Jack’s crotch as he added, “Oh believe me. I am…” Jack let out a light chuckle and finished his drink. “Are you coming to the party?” Of course I am? Who gonna belittle the caterers while you hobnob with all the guests.” “No Dagny I’m saying I want you to come to the party. As a guest!” “Oh, well… Yes. I’d love to!” “Good. I can’t wait to see what you got me!” Jack said in a low growl. “I can’t wait to show you!” Dagny said standing inches from his face. He leaned in to kiss him. But sadly their passion was cut short by a text. Dagny looked down to check his phone. “Shit. Jack I’m sorry but you’ll have to unwrap this package later. I got sex-ratery stuff to do!” “Dagny let Kenneth do that. He;s basically an albino slave money anyway!” “Awe thank you Mister Donaghy, sir!” Kenneth said beaming with joy! Seeing the world as muppets like he usually did. “Sorry babe. But I promise later. After the party.” That said Dagny and Kenneth went back to setting up for the party. A few hours later, as the sun set over New York City. By then the party was in full swing. Everyone in high society was there, Adam West even came. Dagny spent most the the night mingling. If anyone asked him how he knew Jack he jokingly replied. Well… When Adam West gave his speech and mispronounced jack’s name. He stood and watched as Jack’s heart sank. He took the mic from Adam and told everybody to go home. Dagny helped clean up a little then went to look for Jack. he found him in the sitting room watching old home movies. He sat down next to Jack on the arm rest! “Oh is that you? You were such a cute little boy! Oh god you got so excited you threw up. I did that once!” “See I knew that was a thing! Lemon…” “Of course it’s a thing!” Dagny added. “Tonight was supposed to be special. And all i could think about was that kid. So happy he threw up! The closest I came to vomiting tonight was when i saw Anne Coulter’s shoulder blades!” “Yea me too!” “What happens to us?” Jack asked. “We grow up!” Dagny answered with a bittersweet tone in his voice. “Or at least we try to...” “I have a good life but I wonder if I’ll ever be that happy again. I want that back!” Jack said. It was late. Dagny didn’t know what he could say to make Jack feel better. “Hey, why don’t you sleep on it. Come on I’ll tuck you in Birthday boy! You’ll feel betting in the morning!” Dagy took Jack by the hand and led him to his bedroom. Jack collapsed on the bed, both drunk exhausted, Jack fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Dagny smiled a wicked grin. Since Jack was still dressed in all his cloths. That mean he got to undress him…. The next morning Dagny arrived in Jack’s office. “Hey there Rocket Man! I’m sorry your party didn’t go as planned but you still have one gift you have yet to open!” “Dagney it’s only ten o’clock in the morning. It’s a little early for us to have some afternoon delight don’t you think!” “No. I mean this present!” Dagny said revealing the small package wrapped in brightly colored ribbon and wrapping paper. Jack smiled a sly grin. He took the package and opened it. He cried tears of joy when he saw the Apollo rocket. It was the same one he had gotten for his tenth birthday. He looked at Dagny with tears swelling in his eyes, and kissed him. “You threw up in your mouth a little didn’t you!” Dagy said, realizing what that bitter taste in jack’s mouth was. “Yea, sorry!” “Don’t worry about it…” Dagny said kissing him back passionately. Jonathan walked in a screamed with jealousy when he saw Mr. Donaghy kissing Dagny!
