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You sighed in irritation, barely resisting the urge to throw your phone against the wall. Why wasn’t Rowena picking up? Had she misplaced her phone again?Didn’t she know this was important? Weird shit was going on, no doubt caused by that literal spawn of Satan. You needed to hear her voice once again; needed her to comfort you, to tell you everything was going to be okay and promise she would meet up with you soon and hold you like she did all those other times you were scared.Something in your stomach twirled at the thought. A dark thought crossed your mind for a tiny second before you cast it away, replacing it with a memory of a smiling Rowena telling you she loved you.It was this morning that she promised she would call you first thing she got settled in at her new hotel. It was your insistence that she check in every time she switched hotels just to let you know she was safe. After everything that had happened in your lives, you didn’t want to take any chances.Thankfully, Rowena understood that and happily did what you asked.Every time except for today.And now, worried out of your mind that she still hasn’t called, as well as scared of the freaky magic that lingered in the air, its invisible specks clinging to your skin like glue, you allowed your anger to dissipate, replacing it with even bigger concern.Telling yourself it was probably nothing (to put your mind at ease, at least) – she probably found some good champagne and downed the entire bottle and forgot, you thought – you found Sam Winchester’s number in your contacts and pressed call.If something did in fact happen – which was unlikely, you kept telling yourself – the Winchesters would know all about it. After all, they were the ones who got both you and Rowena in trouble with their incessant needs for spells.Sam answered after the second ring. “Hello?”“Hi, Sam. It’s Y/N. Look, I’m sorry to call you – you’re probably busy. I just… I’ve been calling Rowena for a while now and she’s not picking up,” you said with a small chuckle. A witch asking a hunter for information about another witch. Talk about irony!But then, when it came to hunters, the Winchesters were some of the nicest ones out there. If they knew something, they would gladly share it.“It’s probably nothing, but y'know how relationships are. I worry a lot,” you rambled. The more words that came out of your mouth, the more your mind kept telling you not to worry. If you could keep talking, maybe you would eventually believe it. “She probably lost her phone, or got drunk, or found some newbie witch to be annoyed at. You know how newbies are. When I was a newbie, I sucked at everything. Literally everything. I swear, most of Rowena’s lessons consisted of her rolling her eyes at me. I was that bad. But I got better and–”“Y/N,” Sam interrupted after a small pause, his voice strained, somewhat distant. You didn’t like the sound of that, but you chose not to comment. Who knows? Maybe the man’s mother died – she was awfully close to those psycho Brits as of late, at least according to the rumors that went around – and he was grieving. The last thing he needed was his frenemy’s girlfriend giving him hell over the phone. “You don’t know?”“Don’t know what?” you asked, the grin never leaving your face. You sighed in temporary relief. “You guys called her again, didn’t you? Damn it! I told her to let me know when she’s off to help you guys. I get that she hasn’t dated in over three centuries, but you’d think she’d listen when I tell her it scares me when she’s off doing dangerous shit on her own? Seriously! Communication is a thing! I mean–”“That’s not–” Sam tried to interrupt again, but you cut him off.“And you! You guys have got to stop asking her for favors! I get that she’s the most powerful witch around, but come on! Solve your own problems! I’m not comfortable with y'all bothering my girl.”You rolled your eyes dramatically, just like Rowena always did. It was only one of the many things you picked up from your girl.“Get her on the phone. I need to talk to her.”“She’s not here, Y/N,” Sam replied.“You didn’t chain her up again, did you? I swear, if she’s in your basement again, chained up like an animal, I’m gonna rip someone’s head off. I get that you don’t trust her, but you can’t do that to her. She’s a person. She has feelings. It’s not fair, Sam!” You rolled your eyes once more before letting out an unsatisfied groan. “Look, if you let her go now, I’ll forget anything ever happened. Just, please, release her and give her the phone. There’s some crazy shit going on right now and I’m freaking out. I can’t be on my own. This is embarrassing, but I’m scared. I need her. If there’s something complicated you need help with, I’ll be happy to swing by your place and help her work on it. There’s no need for you to keep her prisoner.”“It’s not that,” Sam said, breathing in loudly. “She’s not in the bunker.”“Well, where is she, then? I really, really need to talk to her. It’s urgent.”The younger Winchester paused to compose his voice, and then said: “I’m sorry, Y/N, but you can’t talk to her.”“What do you mean, I can’t talk to her?” you demanded, raising your voice to a near shout. When Sam didn’t respond, you snarled: “What’s going on? You know something – I can tell! What is it? What are you not telling me?”“Y/N…”“What?!” you screeched, growing tired of his avoidance of answering a few simple questions. Fear crept over your neck, sliding down your spine in the form of cold, icy chills that made you tremble. What the hell was going on? What could be so bad that he wouldn’t want you to know? “What is it? I have the right to know!”“She’s gone,” he finally said.“Yeah, I get that,” you said in your best obviously tone. “What I need to know is where.”“No, she's… she’s dead.”Your first instinct was to laugh. “Sam Winchester, do I sound like I’m in the mood for jokes?”“It’s not a joke, Y/N. We called her and Lucifer picked up. He killed her.”You let out yet another laugh. Lucifer? Wasn’t he back in his cage? You were there when Rowena sent him back her own damn self.Then the realization of what he just said hit you like a gust of cold wind and your entire body went numb as if it was under a spell.
Lucifer.
“You’re lying,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. Tears fell down your face, blurring your vision, and you collapsed into the nearest chair, shaky fingers tightening their grip on the phone.“I’m not,” Sam said.“You are! Liar! All of you! You’re liars!” you cried, letting out a loud sob. “Why are you lying to me? Just tell me where she is! Please, tell me where I can find her. I need to talk to her.”“I’m sorry, Y/N.”And he was; you could tell by the tone of his voice.But you didn’t care about that. You didn’t care about anything.Your girl was gone.You would never hear her voice again.You would never hear her tell you how proud she was or you and how much she loved you.You would never feel the touch of her hand on your arm or the brush of her lips against yours.You would never be able to run your fingers through her hair and tell her how beautiful it is. How beautiful she is.You would never do any of that again.Because she was gone.And this time she wasn’t coming back.“No, you’re not,” you said through tears, each word laced with deadly venom.And with that you hung up.For a moment you just sat in silence, staring at the empty wall across you. Then, as more tears fell, you let sobs overcome you, drowning in them, hoping the pain would take you and you would see your girl again.There was no life for you without her. No friends. No family. Hell, not even acquaintances.The only thing you had was Rowena.And now that she was gone, you were all alone again.Maybe there was a spell you could use to bring her back. Or perhaps some demon would be willing to make a deal. You weren’t ready to give up just yet; there were still options to consider. Not that many, but hey, you managed with less.You could do this – you knew you could.If Rowena was here, she would tell you how good you were; how great it was that you were so quick to think of options.If she was here.But she wasn’t.Because she was gone.And just like that, you were a sobbing mess once again.