Work Text
When Rush hears the words out of Young's mouth,he thinks: (first)
fuck
(second)
what?
(third)
He is (almost) never without thoughts,or words, (or numbers)or response or parry but here he is, at what has to be the most important moment of his life—one of the most important, definitely, top three, at least,
solving his first math equation (age 6)
1. right now
making it to Destiny (age 48)
2. Destiny
this moment (age 50)
3. equation
and all he can do is stand here,speechless,staring at his nemesis rival obstacle crewmate ally ? a bit stupidly he is sure scratch that very stupid while his heart does this strange fluttering thing in his chest and his brain tries to process Young's words, it tries, but it can only spin, an endless whirl
y u m d nd m m lu s p smyon danmeee
yulsme eu usppl s
l mmmmmmm Pus e y mu Ps l P L
ssssssnnnDDuuuOOooo o LLLll
AAAAAAAA ooeeeemmmmm
Ps ou
ooooopolussssnnnnn
uuuuuuyyyyyssssssmmmme
dddddddd
dddddouo
e aaaAAAA mmmmm
mmmmoooyyyy
eeemmmmmyyy
llllllllPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSe
sssssdaaaUUU
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnDDDDDDDDDdaaaa
yyyyyyYYYYYPPPLSoemm
Y oemmmpllsss
Plllllll mdddddddmmmmnnnnnnnn
yyyyyyDDDDDmM
ynaePly
eeoeessuuuunlnndddPPP
sssU0yyyDMmLLLLLLLLLppppppppp
Plpllllllllllllllllls pls|
untilhisbrainfinally
CTRL + ALT + DEL
His brain finally catches.
Plus you and me?
Does not compile.It does not compile,it does not solve it does not make sensebecausethis morning:
Young (Colonel) (Everett)
Him (Nicholas) (Rush) (Dr.)
I was all aboard
You said (You said you said)
with this
you
you know that.
understood
But if the ship can't fly, (It can)
how important
there is no mission. (There is!)
this mission
It's not like we're just giving up here.
was. (You said.)
I did.
So what’s changed.
My first responsibility
We can get through this (We can)
is
they
the safety of these people.
are just being
…
defeatist!
I’m sorry.
…
Yeah, right. (Should've known)
But he hadn't known,
not really,hadn't understood
how much itmattered how much he
needed ituntil it was gone,
their faith trust;til he was gutted,
just gutted,because afterwards:
(worse by far)
Q: Could you tell me where else I've been banned from
A: Pretty much any place that you can push buttons
Explanation: We had to make sure you didn't lock us out of the dialing programs
(the thought never even crossed his mind)
And yetsomehowseveral hours onhere they are:not even an arm’s length apart,andhe had said I need a number | and he had said I'll say a dozen | and he had said Plus you and me?
and
He knows there is a term for this..........
Cognitive Dissonance
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. The occurrence of cognitive dissonance is a consequence of a person's performing an action that contradicts personal beliefs, ideals, and values; and also occurs when confronted with new information that contradicts said beliefs, ideals, and values.In A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance (1957), Leon Festinger proposed that human beings strive for internal psychological consistency in order to mentally function in the
e.g.
But if the ship can’t fly there is no mission
| Plus you and me?
My first responsibility is the safety of these people
| Plus you and me?
I’m sorry
| Plus you and me?
We had to make sure you didn't lock us out of the dialing programs
| Plus you and me?
He wonders if it will always be like this between them.Always in tension, always the uncertainty;which way will they slip this time?
Becausethis
exactlyyesis what they are:
fault: the surface along which two blocks of the earth slip past each other
the area where two tectonic platestwo opposing forces meet;the line of faultrunningstraight down the middle,poised to movepoised to shiftat any moment.
Sometimes a little.Sometimes a lot.
But each time, a release of stress.
Until it builds again.
He had told Young:
I’ll say a dozen
A dozen. A dozen is
12
12 +
12 + 2
12 + 2 = 14 - 3 = 11 + 9 = 18 + 6 = 24>12 18 - 6 = 12 - 2 = 10 + 2 = 12 - 2
= 10
____
10
Q: Plus you and me?A: No, including us (us = you + me) (= 1 + 1 = 2) (2 + 10 = 12 = 10 + 2)
He says it aloud:
No, including us.
and
Young responds: (instantly; matter-of-fact)
So, ten.
10 + 2
As though it is the most natural thing in the world.
As though there couldn't possibly be any other outcome.
As though this isn’t how it's going to happen,at long last,not in some life-or-death shenaniganor enemy incursionor kidnapping-tortureor spacewalk-gone-awryor empty quest for revenge across an alien desert,
not even some sleep-deprived, food-deprived, caffeine- and nicotine-deprived craze,no, none of these,because it isYoung
(fucking)
Colonel
(fucking)
Everettwho is finally going to break him,telling him(Nicholas) (Rush) (Dr.)without a warninghow he’s giving uphis chance to go home,how he is stayingbehind,here.
On Destiny.
1 +1
2 + 10
10 + 2
Plus you and me? | No, including us. | So, ten.
Q: Has he ever really seen Young?A: No, he is seeing the man in front of him for the first time,andhis heart is racing,and he has no idea what to sayand he has no idea what to doand he doesn’t have time he doesn’t have time he doesn’t have time in about 5 minutes he will be addressing a room of
80
(no, how many have died / disappeared)
80 - 10? 15? 20? → ((10 + 15 + 20) / 3) = ~65people and he needs to convince at least 10 to give up everything and everyone they care about maybe (probably) for the rest of their lives to travel the universe on a damaged, derelict spacecraft and risk
1) malnutrition (/starvation)
2) deprivation (no coffee; no cigarettes)
3) battle
4) injury
5) torture
6) abduction
7) disease
8) death
9) etcall in service of a mysterious mission;a mission more than a million years old;a mission begun by a vanished alien people and his hands are trembling, they are shaking, they make the sheet of paper he's holding rustle and fucking finally it gives him the jolt he needs
CTRL + ALT + DEL
He says: (first)
Look
(second)
I've written down
(third)most of what I intend to say.
(Not most; everything. Everything).
(fourth)If you've got anything(fifth)
you might want to add—
and
and
he holds the paper out.
He holds the paper out.
The paper with his speech,his words,the paperhe had fallen asleep withjust now. (He hadn’t intended to fall asleep) (He never does)
The paper he had woken up clutching,woken up cradlingagainst his chest,against his heart,because that's what this is, isn't it,not just his words, no,no, this is his fucking heart he's holding out, here:
Here, Young (Colonel) (Everett),
go on take my heart
have a look won't you
go on add something
if you care to
(Appalling, is is horrifying, and he tries to take it back he tries to take it all back CTRL+Z CTRL+Z CTRL+Z but it’s too late, it's too fucking late)
Oncehe had told Young: (a year ago)
My life’s work was to be here
This ship
Coming here
(Or something like that)
Young had said:nothingnothing
I should've listened to you sooner
(Not the point) (but yes)then: (later)
Unless you knew
(and he had known: he doesn't get it he doesn't get it he will never. get. it.)
So:this time:which way will they move?which way will they shift?
Which way will they slip,this time?
Young takes a step next to himandhe barely glances at it,the paper,he barely looks down,he doesn't even read it of course, why bother, it’s only his fucking heart, here, nothing worth looking at, here, andandhe looks at himandhe says: (first)
So
(second)
I'll speak when you're done.
[He has heard Young’s speeches before.
We are going to survive. (Questionable)
We are going to make it home. (Questionable)
My first priority is to make sure
that we all return (Impossible)
to those we love. (Irrelevant) (No one to return to) (No one he loves anymore) ]
(third)
But just so we're clear—
(fourth)
if we don't get the ten volunteers—
Young says:If we don't get the ten volunteers
If we
WeWe (=1 + 1 = 2)Possessive form of we (genitive plural) = our......
Destiny’s
his
ourourmission......WewillWe will
We will
so
he says it aloud. (Because they will)
And so this:this is the waythey slip this time.Young looks at himYoung looks at him closelyand he says:
Okay.
Okay.
(that might be the most surprising thing of all)
Young says:
Okay
and thenhe inclines his headandhe smiles.
He smiles.
Young smiles, and no, that,that is most surprising of all(and years later,when Rush looks back,he'll look back andhe'll be able to say:
oh
that,
that was the start)
(because some things can't be put into words)
So Young smilesandRush can't think,he can't speak,his brain is stuck, yet again,his brain is fucking stuck and he's trying to re-start but before he canYoung turns
Young turnsand is gone.
-
Later though,Rush will standin the gateroomhe will stand onthe gateroom stairsandYoung will standnext to himandthey will say:
I can’t hope to do it alone
I joined Stargate Command for a reason
I ask you to come with me
so I too
If we abandon her now
am willing
there’ll be no coming back
to stay aboard.
(some things can be put into words)