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2258
The evening was rather quiet, though the faint buzzing of vehicles and tavern conversation could be heard even kilometers away from the Academy. It was a lively Saturday evening, proof that despite their smart — arguably nerdy — exterior, Starfleet officers knew how to have fun. Jim knew it too, in fact he was so good at it he often forgot to be wary of others’ feelings — more specifically beautiful Andorian women’s feelings.In this case, a beautiful Andorian woman called Soti. To tell it short, she’d thrown a drink in his face and yelled something in her native language that caused Lieutenant Uhura to conceal a giggle.Deciding he needed a break, Jim had left the bar and just kept on walking until he’d reached a large field. And then kept on walking until the once-unbearable party chatter had become a meaningless buzz. He’d just sat down and turned his head to the skies when he smiled as he heard footsteps behind him. “You think I’ll ever settle down, Mr. Spock?” He asked the Vulcan, who’d been quietly following him to ensure his safety. “Or do you reckon I’ll spend the rest of my life chasing women in bars?”“I…” He clearly hadn’t been expecting a conversation. “I’ve never quite understood the human ideals of love or affection. However, you seem to attract a vast amount of it.”“Thank you? I think.” Jim raised an eyebrow in question.“It was a compliment,” Spock assured him. “I should be surprised if you were to live out your life without a mate.”Jim couldn’t help but chuckle at the words of his First Officer. “You always know just what to say.”
2264
“I don’t know, man… She’s just so,” he made a violent gesture with his hands, “You know?”Spock said nothing. Really, he could think of no reasonable response. Often, too, he’d found his silence to be just as useful as his words, especially when it came to the Captain’s personal matters.“‘Course you don’t.” Jim couldn’t help but smile despite his emotional state.His quaters were at a fairly deserted part of the Enterprise, so very little noise penetrated the walls. This was usually comfortable, though the awkward silence between Jim and his First Officer was growing increasingly more excruciating. “What do you suppose?” He finally asked.Spock looked rather bewildered. “Captain, I know very little about—“
“Yeah well Bones is on shore leave and Scotty’s busy with his… Something, probably. So, you’re all I’ve got.”“Well in that case,” Spock inhaled sharply, “I suggest simple communication. According to various human forms of literature, the elementary phenomenon of conversation can do a great deal in solving complex matters.”“So you’re saying I just gotta… talk to her?”“It’s solved many of the Enterprise’s problems, Captain.”“Huh… You think that’s it?”“I haven’t the slightest idea.”Jim smiled, lightly patting Spock on the shoulder as he got up. “Thank you for your help.”“I wouldn’t call that help.”“Yeah, well, I would.”“You’re welcome.”
2266
Spock had been very concentrated before the prominent knock echoed through his quarters. He’d been reading through a recent report by one of the lower-ranked science officers, and quite frankly it’d been worthy of a promotion.However, his focus was interrupted by this booming knock upon his door. After inviting whoever it might be inside with no luck, Spock was forced to rise from his seat and open the door himself.He was less-than-surprised to find Jim in his doorway, a dazed look in his eyes and one of Scotty’s old whiskeys in his hand. “Spocko!” He’d exclaimed, as though the two had not seen each other in years.“Captain,” Spock greeted, somewhat doubtful of how to proceed.“Y’know,” Jim pushed past the Vulcan and made himself comfortable on his bed. “I’ve got what the kids might refer to as a liiiittle crush.”Spock took a deep breath, accepting the fact that the report would have to wait. “Do you, now?”“I do! But y’see, I can’t tell anybody because that would be,” Jim grabbed the sleeve of Spock’s shirt, pulling him down next to him on the bed. He then proceeded to lean in so that his mouth was only inches away from Spock’s ear, “Unprofessional.”Spock cleared his throat and stood back up. Unprofessional, he repeated internally.“You’ve always got the best advice,” Jim sat up straight, smiling from ear to ear. “What’d you say I do? ‘Cause buddy I gotta tell you, if I don’t get any… y’know,” he cocked his eyebrows. Spock certainly didn’t know, — whatever that meant — though he had a hunch it had to do with… human biology. “I think I’ll die.““Captain, I propose —“ Jim laughed, “you propose!? Fine, fine, I’ll do it. When do you wanna have the wedding?”If Vulcans could blush, Spock was fairly certain the situation would have been a lot more embarrassing. Luckily for him, one his talents was an impenetrable pokerface. “I suggest,” he tried again, “that you return to your quarters and engage in the human act of—““Of what?” Jim giggled.“Sleep, Captain.”His face turned disappointed, though he didn’t seem willing to move. “You know, my quarters are awfully far away, Mr. Spock. Can I sleep in here?”Seeing no other option that wouldn’t end in the Captain utterly embarrassing himself, Spock agreed.
2267
“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone this much in my life,” Jim swooned. He’d been like this for a few days. Bones had given up on him after half an hour, mumbling something about having “more important things to do.”Which meant, incidentally, that Spock was his caretaker. The potion would wear off eventually, it was only a matter of when — and right now, that ‘when’ couldn’t come fast enough.“Leonard, please—“ Spock’d almost begged. “No can do,” McCoy’d replied, “I’m a doctor, not a babysitter.”“I’m a science officer.”“A very patient science officer.” And with that, he’d walked off.That was two days ago. Since then Spock had spent the majority of his waking hours in Jim’s quarters, listening to him swoon about one of the aliens who’d put him under her spell — quite literally.So far, she’d been “the love of his life,” his “soulmate,” and most noticeably, “the very stars in his sky.”It hadn’t exactly been the plan when they beamed down to the surface of the Echo VII. In fact, they’d only needed to extract a few minerals for sampling. However, as it so often happened, something had thrown them off course. A group of aliens thats called themselves ‘The X’ had attacked with a few ancient weapons, capturing the five Starfleet officers. The landing party — containing Jim, Spock, Bones and a couple of security officers — would’ve died, had it not been for one of the X’s strong attraction to the Captain. Prior to their narrow escape, she’d poisoned him with some sort of love potion, to which Bones had found a cure. Only, it took a while for it to work. “She’s beautiful,” Jim sighed, interrupting Spock’s thoughts.He smiled patiently. “I’m certain she is.”“Have you ever been in love?” A moment of silence passed. Before he answered, Jim continued: “Should I go after her? Hold her in my arms as I kiss those rosy lips beneath the—““No,” Spock interrupted.Jim looked slightly offended, though something changed behind his eyes, as if he was finally beginning to snap out of the haze. “Do I love her?” He asked, his expression serious.“I doubt it, Captain. You’ve only known her for a few moments.”“Will I ever see her again?”“Not if we’re lucky.”“Huh… You’re right. Yeah, this is all wrong. I don’t love her,” he giggled. “I remember now…I love—“ he stopped himself before any more words came out of his mouth.Spock raised an eyebrow. “You love?”“I love…” there was a brief moment in which Jim thought of a more plausible thing to say than what he just almost let slip. “I love my quarters. I think I’ll just… Head there now.”He awkwardly nodded in Spock’s direction without making eye contact, before hurrying out the door.
2268
When she left, Jim felt empty. Not that he hadn’t felt it before. He always seemed to underestimate how much these things hurt, whether it was after a week or a year.It was a sort of tradition by now, him going out to the observatory after a little “healthy heartbreak” as Bones liked to call it. Looking out the windows of the Enterprise reminded him that, in the great scheme of things, his problems were tiny, insignificant points in an infinite universe.He hadn’t quite decided if he found that idea comforting yet.“Captain?” A soft, familiar voice sounded behind him.“Aren’t we past the formalities yet, Spock?” He didn’t take his eyes off the stars as he spoke, well aware that he didn’t need to see the man behind him to know exactly what he was doing. At the moment, for example, there was no doubt he was flashing a small smile, the kind liked to give Jim when he was being “illogical.”“My apologies,” he stepped up next to the Captain. “Jim.”They both stood there, allowing the stars to reflect in their eyes while the universe stared back through the thick glass.“I assume you’re in a rather emotional state.” Spock straightened his shirt.“Yeah, guess you could call it that.”“Capt— Jim, may I ask you something?”Kirk nodded, “sure.”“Why do you continue to engage in these afflictions when you’re well aware of the outcome?”“What, you mean like love?” Jim shifted his eyes from the sky to his First Officer.“If that’s what you’d prefer.”“Guess that would seem illogical to a Vulcan like yourself,” he thought out loud. “Yes, it does.”Despite Jim’s lack of desire to respond, Spock continued to looked expectantly at his Captain. “I guess it’s worth it,” he finally gave in. “The hurt, I mean.”“That doesn’t seem very—““Logical?” His tone turned irritated. “It isn’t logical, Spock, dammit it may be most illogical thing there is. But that’s why we humans do it! I don’t expect you to understand,” he looked back up the stars, suddenly seeing nothing but empty space in a vast void.Spock didn’t respond at first, though not from lack of words. He was becoming familiar with human emotion, hell he even felt it sometimes, even if he never let it show. “I know this may come as somewhat of a surprise to you, Captain,” — he figured the formalities were back on again — “but I am, in fact, capable of comprehending your situation.”“Oh yeah?” The words tasted bitter in Jim’s mouth, but lack of sleep and a half-broken heart compelled him to speak them nevertheless. “And how’s that?”“You feel affection for someone who cannot return those feelings. You’re well aware that she left on her own terms, and it is therefore obvious that she does not want you. There’s little you can do to persuade her otherwise and even if you were capable, it’d be inappropriate. It’s a rather familiar situation,” he dared not look at Jim, though he knew he was looking at him.He smiled. “I’m afraid you’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”“Trust me, Captain.”“I do much more than trust you, Mr. Spock.”It felt safe; the two of them among the stars, halfway through their five-year mission to explore the universe. The Enterprise was well on her way, her crew and passengers ready to change the world.And right there, beneath the sky, the two Starfleet officers felt something unfamiliar, something you wouldn’t expect to find in the vast vacuum of space:Home.