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2356She'd started wearing the skant uniform first. Even before growing her hair out or her first experimentations with makeup, that had been the first step. It wasn't even that considered a decision at first. One day, not really any different from any other, she woke up and couldn't bear to put on the jumpsuit. It wasn't that it was even a 'male' uniform versus a 'female' uniform since they were both thoroughly unisex... at least in theory. And that was the beauty of it, really. She wasn't actually making any kind of definitive statement. Just testing the waters. In time, however, the lack of anyone picking up on the hint that she'd tried to avoid dropping started to wear on her. Her hair had gotten shaggy at this point and she had started to pin it back when she was on duty with shiny black barrettes. They were even a little glittery, for goodness' sake, but it was still nothing but "sir, sir, sir." Lipstick was a turning point. People had definitely started to notice the trend towards femininity even if they were still uncertain about what said trend indicated. In their defence, she still hadn't actually said, but a niggling worry that people were doubling down on "sirs" wouldn't leave her alone. Very possibly that had been kindly meant. An implicit reassurance that they weren't alienated by a male officer who wore makeup on deck and that she--still he in their eyes--was their captain first, last and always. If there was something infuriating about this kind of acceptance it was that it prioritised the imaginary male version of her that Just So Happened to skew towards the feminine side of things when it came to gender presentation over the actual female version of her that just wanted to figure out a way short of using the blasted lipstick to write "woman" across her forehead to clue people in.A few weeks after she'd started HRT, the security officer who'd made a fool of her at the start of the mission in front of three admirals over a minor breach of tactical protocol was preparing to give her his department's monthly report."Sir, if I may direct your attention-""Lieutenant Tuvok," Janeway found herself saying, as impulsively as she'd found herself keying in the pattern for the uniform skant what was now six months ago. "I hate to interrupt, but I'd appreciate if you leave off any unnecessarily gendered form of address."He said nothing for a moment before quirking an eyebrow. She had the sinking feeling that she was going to be reminded that sir was considered a gender neutral form of address in Starfleet per regulation such and such established since, no doubt, 500 B.C.E. "May I enquire..." he said, slowly. "Do you have any objection to ma'am?"For a moment she thought she might cry with relief."Ma'am is acceptable," she said. A few heads turned around the bridge. She continued in a slightly raised tone, turning her own head to make brief eye contact with a few crewmembers, "I prefer captain, I must say, but ma'am will certainly do in a crunch." "I will endeavour to correct my behaviour in the future, captain," Tuvok said. "It would be illogical to use a salutation that was displeasing to you." *2365"I can't accept this," Janeway shook her head. "You've convinced me of a lot of things, but this...""You must see the logic of my position," Tuvok insisted. "Look at their faces," Janeway gestured widely towards the screen with her carton of popcorn. "They have no idea what they're going to do after they get off that bus. They had no plan except to run off. You cannot tell me that you think this is logical behaviour.""Elaine never wished to marry Carl," Tuvok said. "Perhaps the time for that thought was before they were standing in front of their families-""Who had pressured her into this union," Tuvok cut across her. "It is not... ideal to cancel a wedding during the ceremony, but it is markedly preferable to marrying a person who you have no desire to be your partner." "So Ben is the sound choice here?" Janeway scoffed."Perhaps," Tuvok made the facial expression that Janeway privately parsed as shrugging. "But I do not see the decision not to marry Carl as committing her irrevocably to Ben. They are both unsatisfied with the lives prescribed to them and will try to find fulfilment outside of the strictures imposed upon them. Perhaps together, perhaps separately. They may, or may not, be successful, but I can see nothing illogical in their desire to try." "You surprise me, Tuvok," Janeway said, settling against his shoulder. "I never would have figured you for the romantic type." "I am not," he said, leaning across to steal her popcorn."I suppose popcorn is logical too?" she said with a smile. "Since you seem to be able to make the argument that anything you like personally is logical.""Popcorn, as a food for theatre-goers, is extremely logical," Tuvok said. "It rose to prominence during World War II due to sugar rationing and an increased appetite for Hollywood.""And continuing to eat it hundreds of years after sugar rationing is no longer a concern?" Janeway asked. "It's mostly fluff. Very little nutritional, or recreational value as far as I can see.""Tradition is logical," Tuvok said. "Sometimes I think that when you say logic and when I say it we're talking about different things," Janeway said."I have often had the same thought," Tuvok agreed. She nudged him in the ribs. A minute passed. "I have found a flaw in your reasoning.""Oh another?" she asked him. "What have I overlooked this time?""You posited that I could make an argument in favour of the logical nature of anything I was fond of," he said. "I did," she said. "And you could.""I disagree. I cannot make any such argument about you." She was torn between laughing and slapping his shoulder in faux-outrage. She settled for grinning at the rolling credits with her head still on his shoulder.*2367"You're sure?" she asked for what must have been the fiftieth time."Why would I be unsure?" he replied in his turn like it was a song he knew by heart. "Well... this is a very private, very important, very Vulcan ceremony," Janeway said. "Are you sure that it would be proper for me to be there?""I have no apprehensions about your ability to refrain from rending your garments and making an impassioned plea to Asil that she reconsider. Your respect of our culture is something of which I have no concerns and you have always supported my daughter's desire to become a kolinahr adept.""Of course!" she said. "Besides," he continued. "There is no point during the ceremony when the opportunity to shout 'I object!' arises.""To say nothing of the fact that I don't object. But see here, if you are now reversing your position on The Graduate-""I am doing nothing of the sort. However, there is no illogic in reversing a position after further consideration or obtaining new data or perspectives on that matter..."They continued down the corridor as the ship circled a distant, orange-red Vulcan. The busyness of the crew around them swallowed the sound of their voices as they made their way towards the transporter room.