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Kanzeon didn’t have the heart to erase his memories, so she temporally sealed them; the Seiten Taisei would make sure they wouldn’t stay that way for long.She was right.Son Goku was the Seiten Taisei, and the Seiten Taisei was Son Goku; while the weaker personality slept Seiten merged what wasn't already part of Goku with the naive boy. Together they would be able to protect their dear ones when they arrived. From that moment onwards there were no more two, they were one: Seiten Taisen, Son Goku.When Goku wakes up, he has heavy shackles on his arms and legs, he remembers little by little.First was the golden of the sun rising, the golden color resembles something very dear... hair, long and sparkling; a mouth that held a deep scowl but will look unnatural if it tried to smile at the same time. Then in the sunset when the sky painted itself in different colors, he recognizes the deep royal purple, that dearest person’s face becomes whole.He weeps for a week before even trying to unravel the reason behind his tears, it feels like his head will be split in two, so he stops… 'til the sun rises again on the horizon.It takes him a week to remember, at first it was just a name and a face, Konzen Douji is the man with gentle eyes and golden hair like the sun, deep purple eyes, and a scowl almost most of the time (though he doesn't know why he knows that).After two weeks Goku remembers how he met Konzen and why his heart aches, Konzen named him and gave him food to eat, a bed to sleep in, and kindness, infinite kindness. Konzen whacked his head but wasn’t afraid of his limiter coming off; still there was something breathtaking sad in his smile bathed in golden light.It takes him a month to remember the promise Konzen made him.
Next time, I promise I’ll be the one to reach for you. I’ll definitely reach for you.
After that, the part that was off, covered by darkness comes out, ugly and painful enough to drive him mad. It comes to life down to the last tiny detail, like the sweat of his fever or the dust falling on his arms and face as Konzen and he ran towards the door. He curses Li-Touten’s name and his existence itself, he curses Heavens ‘til his voice is hoarse, he curses the gods who killed his beloved sun, his dearest in all existence (he can still feel the gold dust on his face, a last caress of the only family he had ever gotten, when the mountainous wind blows earth dust on his face he feels like crying still).He curses, again and again.Then he remembers the names of those that lowly existence named as Li-Touten called pests.First, a man with glasses and a very nice smile, sometimes frightening but never any less than soft to him, dark brown locks that reached his shoulders, all messy and funny to be around; violet eyes that could have been as beautiful as Konzen but as unkempt as he was it all went to waste.Please, call me Ten-chan ♡.The second name, Field Marshal Tenpou, Ten-chan. He was something similar to a really nice uncle (Ten-chan taught him about family), and he listened to him.Also, Ten-chan loved being in his library; surrounded by books. Towers upon towers of books that barely managed to stay upright, as fragile as they seemed, there was also a metal frog somewhere in the mess and the accidental pair of lost spare glasses.Goku wondered if they were cursed or if they had life on their own because Ten-chan never managed to find them when he looked for them.Goku remembers reading children’s books, as Ten-chan called them, about heroes who saved the day and justice prevailing; but they were wrong. There was no hero to call, no hero to save Konzen or Ten-chan… eh? How did he know that Ten-chan wasn’t alive?Lin-Touten's voice comes to his mind again, the bastard had a lot of fun hitting Konzen on the floor while repeating that they were trash and pests and that it was their fault that he lost valuables assets, like that soldier that cut Ten-chan and spilled his guts on the floor. Li-Touten laughed as he told Konzen how Ten-chan had crawled like a worm through half hallway trying to get to them. In retrospect, Seiten Taisen knows that his blood boiled at that point, but Goku was still too busy processing the information to actually realize that Li-Touten was crazily talking about his Ten-chan.Ten-chan’s smile, through a half-cracked door and the sun of the celestial world shining and shadowing his profile, while running to his death with a sword, creeps into his mind and new tears for the newly discovered loss of a loved one settle at the pit of his stomach. He grieves, they grieve, and soon they make the cave deeper, with their claws, his claws, in their grief and need to destroy, they expand their cell.They feel the sorrow of losing a person too close to their heart all over again. Seiten Taisen thinks that, maybe, they don't want to remember anymore. But he still does, they still do, for the sake of their promise. It’s been three months when a new blurry face appears in his head. Goku does want to remember, Seiten Taisei is not so sure.The curiosity killed the cat.His skin was tanned like theirs, and he wore clothes as black as his shining and spiky hair, a mark on his forehead defined him as a god even though he drove himself as a human would. An immortal playing to be ephemeral like the cherry blossom from the Lower World. His smile was broad and cheerful, his eyes weren't a deep royal purple, like Konzen's, or a simple violet, as Ten-chan’s, they were more a mistier and lighter, the color of the flowers. He always had a cigarette in his mouth or a cup of sake in his hand, Decadence made flesh. Goku remembers just one occasion when he didn't, before his death his mouth was set, a golden pistol on his right hand and cress between his eyebrows as he decided to shoot that rope to get Konzen and him to move like a pendulum.Goku remembers first the good things —as usual— like he liked fishing, just like Konzen liked lining up the seal’s stamp in the paper with the borders —he always was a little bit too neat—, or like Ten-chan’s passion for smoking in his office, as full of books as it had been, unafraid of a fire breaking out and trusting that he found his frog. He remembers how he covered him when he was off exploring the palaces of Heavens.He’s my secret son ♡.He was General Kenren, Ken-niichan.Ken-niichan liked the cherry blossoms, the ones from the Lower World’s because they were ephemeral; so they made a promise under the cherry trees, a promise that had been left unfulfilled.We will always be by your side. That was Ten-chan’s promise.Depending on the situation, we might have to act separately. But even if that happens, let’s meet under the cherry blossoms in the Mortal World for sure next time. That was the promise that everyone agreed to.The promise they wanted to cherish in their chest.The promise that wasn’t fulfilled, but that Goku -Seiten Taisei- wanted to believe in, even now, jailed and sealed away from the world, with not a living soul as a company and too many ghosts in their heart.Li-Touten’s voice is a knife penetrating his ears even now, he complained about the loss of a doctor that made monsters, monsters he called Nataku as if he was an object and not his son, not Goku's friend.Li-Touten saying that Ken-niichan had been crushed and eaten by one of those beasts.Ken-niichan’s death hurts as bad as it can because Goku feels he has lost a big brother, and Seiten Taisen hates how affectionate they all were in his memories calling Konzen ‘dad’.
Nice catch, Konzen!! That’s our daddy!!
Seiten Taisen hates how happy he was when Ken-niichan and Ten-chan convinced Konzen that the Human World’s cherry blossoms were way prettier than Heavens because their way of life was different.Seiten Taisen hates the words that made him want to see them as well -he hates all those moments because he knows they will never return and now that he knew the warmth of a family, it only makes him weep harder for the loss of it, just like the lack of freedom dooms him to envy every single living creature he sees throw the bars of his cell-.
…I see, that’s something I’d like to see.
Konzen's words make his heart squeeze even now, trapped and away from them. He remembers having felt just a little bit lonely that evening, someone was missing; for once the name came before the face of his last loss, his only friend and Li-Touten’s 'son'… Nataku. The memories about Nataku come like a waterfall, fast and uncaring in their harshness, bathing him with enough force to leave Goku breathless and bend his knees. He didn’t have time to mourn Ken-niichan’s death properly as he had with Ten-chan’s and Konzen’s (even if he thinks that he would never mourn them enough).He curses the day Li-Touten ordered Nataku to kill Goku.
Goku… not there… over here. See… the tree over there…—at the top, there’s a… bird’s nest… Can you see it?
Nataku’s last words make all the pieces come down and fit in together was a puzzle, his memories come out was a river following to the sea. Goku and Seiten Taisen scream and weep, hate, and love with the force of a typhoon.They love them so much and hate Heaven so much-!But Li-Touten is a special case, they loath him, despise him from the bottom of their heart, hate him with the same passion they love Konzen.Konzen was their sun, their dad, they remember Konzen hanging on a rope and his bleeding, trembling hand when he hugged them; they remember how scared they had been when Konzen didn't got to the stairs, and the knee-softening relief when Ken-niichan saved him.They remember the pinky promise they made just before Heaven became his personal Hell.
Don’t ever give up.
They remember everything with the clarity of the midday sun on a clear summer day. Goku -Seiten Taisei- has been remembering and spinning their memories, they have inspected them closely and they have been trying to count the years, every spring a mark, somewhen in the 100th spring a golden little bird comes inside the cave. The Seiten Taisei recognizes Konzen’s soul within the little creature.It dies in the winter.They scream Konzen’s name to the Heavens and curses Kanzeon for the first time. How can someone who was supposed to incarnate mercy be so cruel?They won’t forgive her either, as she didn’t move a finger to help them and even tried to take away his memories. Goku realizes that he can only trust himself and his loved ones.Goku really hopes that none of them come to him in such an ephemeral existence again, their heart won’t stand to see Konzen die a third time. In the 500th spring, they hear footsteps, they are heavy enough to be human, an adult, and somehow they feel familiar."Hey, are you the one who's been calling me?"Goku twists so fast they can hear their spine cracking in protest, but they couldn’t care less. Their sun has come for them, Konzen fulfilled his promise.The tears don’t stop as they see the reincarnated form of their golden one.“I knew you would come.”
This time, let's see the cherry blossoms together, yes?