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MAY- "I love you."Melinda looked deeply into Andrew's eyes and felt something shift in her. It wasn't the first time he'd said them. Those three words. But it was the first time she felt it.He. Loves. Her.The sheer improbability of someone so handsome, smart, insightful, warm, kind and giving could think someone as cold, sarcastic, distant, and calculating as her was worthy of love.It made her feel warm. Safe. Like she could actually have something she never thought she could.A loving life away from the spy-world.This civilian psychologist made her want things in her future that she never thought she would.When he looks at her like this, she actually thinks she could have a husband. She could be a wife. They could have a child. Children, even. This look in his eye makes her believe she could be a good mother.Together they could raise a, mostly, decent human being.And more than that, for the first time in her life Melinda May finds this is something she wants. She wants that kind of normal life. She wants it with him. With Andrew Garner."Marry me?" she whispers as their lips part."What?" he asks with a chuckle pulling back further."Let's run away and get married. Today."Because why should they wait? She wants this. She wants this with him. And if she was sure of anything, she was sure of this. If he wants this too, why should they wait?"You're serious?" he asked, eyes studying hers."That something you think I'd joke about? Let's run to Vegas and get married today."Whatever he was looking for he must have seen it, because he nodded."Okay, let's do it."He met her lips again and Melinda felt like she had to fight the smile from preventing her from being able to kiss him back properly. They both started chuckling. As their lips met again and again. Andrew started to pull away, but Melinda grabbed his collar and pulled him back to her."No, wait. I need to go pack a bag," he tried to say between their kisses."What? Why?""If we're going to spend the night in Las Vegas, I'm going to need at least a change of clothes. I'm not marrying you in this old shirt.""Just make it quick.""As quick as possible," he promised leaning in for one last kiss before he actually ran off upstairs.Melinda couldn't stop a laugh from escaping her lips as she watched him. This man she was going to marry.She was about to get married.It had been a very long time since she was this excited for the future.COULSON "We're having a baby."Phil did a double blink at Barton's announcement. Of all the news he had been expecting form the troublesome agent, this wasn't it. Schooling his features his stole a quick glance at Romanov. Phil didn't know why he expected a reaction from her. She probably knew more details than Barton about his partner (girlfriend? wife?! significant female lover? one time lover?) and the pregnancy."Okay," he said trying not to drag the word out too much. The look in Romanov's eyes told him he didn't succeed. "Am I meant to know who 'we' is? I thought you and Mockingbird ended well over two years ago. Unless you're telling me…"Phil left his hand open waiting for more information. Well, that and he literally didn't know how to end that last statement. He really had no idea why this was being shared with him. He stole another glance at Romanov, and Barton mistook the look."Don't be stupid, Coulson. There's nothing like that between me and Nat. Sometimes, it's like you don't even know me," he cried in mock indignation.Phil couldn't stop from rolling his eyes."I knew that was never something between the two of you. What I don't know is who you have been dating recently. Or why you feel it is relevant to tell me at this moment.""Because I'm about to become a father, and to be honest; I'm freaking out. And you're one of the better people to freak out to."Phil recognised the look on Clint's face. Ah. He's mentioned it now, because he's looking for advice."All right," he drew it out, raking his brain for something to say. He came up blank. "What do you expect from me? More time off?""No. Come on, you're the closest thing to a father figure many of us that need handlers have. Surely you have some advice."That stalled his brain again. Clint saw him as a fathering-figure? Huh. That was not how he expected this meeting to go."And… I think I want to marry her. But I need to know she'll be safe. Her and our kid. There aren’t many people I trust completely. You, Nat, Laura, and Fury." Clint gave a half shrug, "And I'm not actually sold on Fury.""I figured that if anyone could advise him, it would be you," Romanov commented.Maybe Phil should stop having any expectations when it comes to these two. Romanov told Barton to talk to him? They both trusted him.For people that have been in the spy world as long as both of these people that was kind of huge."I don't have any immediate suggestions or advice." Phil watched Clint's shoulders slumped and met his eye before he shrugged and smiled. "Give me a couple days to look into some things. Then we'll figure out the best way to support her and keep her off records and radars. I have some ideas, but I don't want to say anything till I know they'll pan out."Suddenly Phil felt his feet being lifted off the ground by Clint's hug. Phil always forgot how deceptively strong this guy was."I don't know how to possibly thank you," Clint whispered.The look in his eye was nearly enough for Phil, but he knew it would mean even more once he'd earned the gratitude. It was for things like this that he did what he did.And when five months later Cooper Phillip Barton was born in a small county hospital with untraceable details, Phil was filled joy. His small part meant that this one young man who risked so much for the rest of the world got to have the best of both worlds. Not many could. In fact most didn't.Thanks to Phil, Clint Barton was. He was going to get it all.Phil would be the shield for the young man who he just would one day save the world.He couldn't be prouder.RADCLIFF "She's gone.""What?" he asked distractedly. "No, she went back to the apartment after her session today. I told you to bring her here.""Sir, I can't."Holden finally looked up from his work."Why? Why couldn't you do that one simple thing Anon?"The woman before him fidgeted. His gaze hardened and she became even more agitated."Sir, she… she wasn't at the apartment, or her office, or anywhere. It looked like a number of her things were absent from your apartment too. She is gone."Fear gripped Holden's heart.She left?No. It just a… a silly little fight. Couples have fights.She knows he loves her. More than anything.He took this bloody boring job with Agro Chemical Lab just so they could be closer to the best medical facilities for her. Sure, he hasn't stopped his other pursuits, with transhumanism, but it is the only way he can help her.He isn't a medical scientist. He can follow it, but he doesn't naturally see all steps and variables like he can in other areas.Mechanics. Engineering. Technology. That he understood completely. That he could use to try and help her. Save her.But Agnes couldn't see that.So she left. Left him. Their life together. Abandoned the chance of her sharing with him an immortal life beyond these weak fallible human bodies that were already in the process of giving up…No.She may have left him, but he wouldn't stop trying to find a way to save her. She may be gone, but she wasn't gone.Holden would find the answers he seeks. Then he'd find her again. As long as she was alive there was hope. She was gone, but not gone.Dum spiro, spero. [As long as I breathe, there is hope.]SIMMONS "I love you."He breathes it so casually that it actually takes her a moment to realise what he said. More than half asleep and slumped on his bed while a crew cleared up most of the initial debris of Daisy's attack. He'd said the three little words that she's spent the last two and half years wanting to hear and fearing at the same time.Jemma expected a wave of panic to sweep through her like it has every other time a boyfriend has said that to her. The panic that makes her doubt him. Doubt herself. Makes her start to think about a future she doesn't see them in. Doubt her ability to love.But it didn't.Jemma waited, but the panic didn't hit her.Instead there was this growing bubble of… something. She felt it keep blooming in her chest till it consumed her. Only then did she realise what it was."I love you too, Fitz," she breathed back.He didn't respond. Looking at his face she could see he was already asleep. She couldn't stop the grin from consuming her face. She buried her nose into his collar and took a deep breath of his sent.Peace washed over her.Never in all of her life had she felt this… this feeling.She'd always had flashes of it around Fitz. And just once with another boyfriend years ago. But never this strongly. Looking back, it barely compares. Never deep down to her very core has she felt this. Never had something deep in her felt this content to say with absolute clarity; yes, this is home. Fitz was her home.That's how deeply she loves him.Jemma wants to laugh as the realisation washes over her again, but she doesn't want to wake him.Fitz.The man she was in love with.The man who was in love with her.Her Fitz.Her home.Let the cosmos try and do whatever it wanted. Let it try and tear the apart. She would not let it. Because Fitz was her home. And she would always come back to here. Back to his side.She made this vow as sleep began to overtake her, tucked in next to Fitz.This is where she belongs, and where she would always return to. Always."I love you too."JOHNSON- "We're having a baby."She looked at Trevor confused. Why were they looking at her so seriously as they told her this? Why did Ruth look both happy and guilty?"Mary-Sue, we're so sorry to do this to you…"Oh.She knew that tone. They were sending her back to the orphanage. They didn't want her.She struggled to swallow her tears."You're not going to keep me?" she asked, failing to stop her hurt from being in her voice."It's not that we don't want you," Trevor said. "It's just… we can't afford both you and a baby. Not here and on our salaries. We can't move anywhere cheaper and still be close enough for work…""If there was a way for us to have you both, you have to believe we would keep you," Ruth promised. "In a heartbeat."But Mary-Sue didn't believe her.This was her fifth home in two years.They said it wasn't her, but if it wasn't her why did they keep give her back?Only her?Most of her friends in the orphanage were adopted. And with the exception of Matt, they were never given back. She had been there the longest. So it must be her.There must be something wrong with Mary-Sue Poots.She smiled as the couple explained to her how this was their miracle baby. They had given up on the chance that they could conceive naturally. But that didn't matter to her. None of what they were saying now did.That was the day she vowed to herself that she wasn't going to stay Mary-Sue Poots any longer than she had to.Trying to find a family that accepted her was too hard.Impossible really.So she would stop trying.The only person who looked out for her was her. So, that's the only person she would rely on; herself. When she aged out she would leave. Change her name. Find her family. Her real family. She must have parents somewhere who were as excited as Ruth and Trevor when they learnt she was going to be born. She would find them. Nothing would stop her.Nothing and no one.The sky was the limit.FITZ – "She's gone."Fitz felt his brain stall at the words coming from Weaver's mouth.Gone?"Where?" he asked, not able to fathom why she would be looking at him like this. "Was there something else to get from the Iliad that couldn't wait?""No," she corrected him. He didn't like the way her voice dropped. "Fitz I need you to keep calm."It was like when she told him his mother had been taken to hospital when he was at the Academy. That's a tone used when delivering life changing news. But where could Jemma have gone? He'd found the perfect restaurant for them to go for their… their date. They were going for dinner!"Calm? Why? Where is she? Where did Jemma go?"Fitz saw her flinch when he mentioned Jemma's name."WHERE IS SHE?" he yelled, his eyes darted around the lab."If you will just stay calm, I'll… show you the footage we found."Fitz noticed how ragged his breath was, and raised his hands in a surrender pose and resumed his seat, breathing deeply. Weaver moved next to him and activated the screen, resting a hand on his shoulder.The image before Fitz blurred as he watched the smile cross Jemma's face after he'd left. His own lips quirked at the memory.They were going for dinner. She'd nodded; yes.Then the rock liquefied and swept over her. A cry escaped his lips as he tried to process it.No.That… that wasn't possible.He bolted from the room and tried to return to the room she was taken in. But Mack was in the hallway and grabbed him. Fitz yelled her name over and over as he tried to fight his way pass the much larger mechanic.Fitz never really stood a chance."Don't do it Turbo! You know she wouldn't want anything to happen to you," Mack cried over the top of Fitz's own shouts."What's going on here?" Coulson asked, jogging over to the two of them, a dazed Skye following behind him.Fitz's eyes begged Skye to help him get past Mack and to that room."What's happened?" she asked, eyeing them all off."There was an incident and now Agent Simmons is missing," Weaver answered. Fitz hadn't noticed her move to the lab doorway. "Mack was stopping Fitz from doing something foolish.""You have to let me get to her," Fitz begged. "Let me help her.""How?" Weaver asked, her voice deceptively calm. "How will you rushing in there, blindly, help Jemma?"That gave Fitz pause.Weaver was right he couldn't go running in there without a plan. Jemma needed his help and he couldn't just be reactive. He had to be better than that."How is Jemma missing?" Skye asked. "Where's she gone?""The alien rock swallowed her," Mack answered softly."What?!?" Coulson and Skye chorused together. "Swallowed?" "I thought you were keeping it locked away tightly?!"Their argued conversation became background noise to Fitz. He couldn’t get Weaver's first words out of his head.
It's Jemma. She's gone.
She's gone. She'sgoneshesgoneshesgone. Gone?
No.No, he couldn't accept that. Fitz refused to.She wasn't gone. She couldn't be. They were going for dinner. Fitz would get her back. Whatever the lengths or cost. He refused to give up on her. He would do whatever he had to, to get her back. He would become whatever was needed to get Jemma back from that rock.He swore it.Come hell or high water or whatever else was thrown his way; he would not rest until he had Jemma back.
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SIMMONS "We’re having a baby.""We?" she asked, looking between them.Tad didn't meet her eye. It didn't take Jemma long to figure what they were telling her, but… surely this is where her highly analytical mind was misleading her.Surely.Her boyfriend wasn't telling her he had gotten the woman Jemma had been tutoring, and kindly taken under her wing, pregnant."We didn't mean for this to happen," he muttered, still looking at the ground."I didn't want this to be the way you found out," Lauren said between her tears.Hormones and weakened emotional control. Jemma could recite all the chemicals that would be flooding the other woman's body."How long?" Jemma asked.She was surprised at how steady her voice was. Probably just her body going into a mild form of shock, she self-diagnosed.Neither of them could look up from their feet."How long?!" she shouted at them.She wasn't proud of the sliver of satisfaction she got from them both jumping at her raised voice."How long have you two been having sex behind my back while playing the part of perfect boyfriend and studious student in public?"The question had barely left her mouth when she suddenly remembered how she even met Lauren. And how Fitz had pointed out the peculiarity, but she'd been unwilling to see it. Then.Why hadn't she seen how odd it was for Tad to even know a sophomore biochemistry student when he was a senior from the Communications Academy? Why hadn't she listened to Fitz when he tried to point out how long the coincidental circumstances around the two of them were? Jemma didn't want to admit it was because she thought she might actually love Tad. She was actually starting to fall for him, despite how boring he could be when he went on and on about his studies."This was going on for our whole relationship, wasn't it?" she asked Tad. "You were using me to stop her from failing Bio-chem. And to try and get in the good graces of Weaver and Preet so you could have your pick of assignments.""Weaver and Preet weren't part of it," he quickly defended. His lips quirked, "That was a bonus."Jemma couldn't even feel any satisfaction when she watched Lauren hit him for admitting that."But the rest? You were just leading me along so I would help keep her from failing? Why didn't you just ask me?! I was already looking to do tutoring! I told you that on our first date! Why the lies?! Why date me for 8 months?! Why try and talk me into moving away from Fitz for the sake of this 'relationship'?! What reason would you have for all the lies and deception?""Because he never trusted me!" Tad snapped. "Come on, the way he looks at you is not the way someone looks at a 'friend'. And you two are freakishly co-dependant! It was like I was dating both of you, or I wasn't even in the room when you two would get talking.""Well, apparently he was correct to never have trusted you. And I should have listened to him."Jemma felt a lump begin to grow in the back of her throat. She did not want them to see her cry. They had already taken so much from her, she couldn't give them that pleasure. She stormed out.Jemma couldn't tell you anything about the next twenty minutes to half an hour. Because she was just in a state of auto-pilot; the shock catching up with her.The next things she distinctly remember is telling the whole mess to Fitz on the couch in their apartment. The blanket Fitz's Nan knitted for her wrapped around her, and a tub of her favourite ice-cream in hand. Fitz pacing before her, his face like thunder."I'm sorry," she softly bit out between the tears."Why the blue blazes are you apologising?!" he seethed. "You are the last person who should be sorry in this situation! What I wouldn't give to be able to make him pay for this! And her!""I'm apologising to you," she clarified. "I should have listened to you. You had him picked from the moment you met him. You've never steered me wrong in anything before, I don't know why I didn't trust your judgement with this.""You were excited at having a serious relationship, I can't hold that against you.""No, you're my second pair of eyes. I won't doubt your judgement on a boyfriend again."And she meant it. She had doubted him once and look how it turned out for her. She didn't become one of the youngest, brightest graduates of Sci-Tech by making the same mistakes twice. (Unless it was scientifically significant.)She would always put her trust in Fitz. She would always trust him as her second pair of eyes, from now on.JOHNSON "She's gone."Daisy felt her insides freeze. She slowly turned and gave the biggest glare to the unfortunate agent giving her this news."They ah… they all are," he finished hesitantly."You lost two ten and a twelve year old?!" she boomed at him, her fear and anger burning so hot she was cold.The area base trembled around her. DeMarco flinched before he squared his shoulders and met her eye."I wasn't the one in charge of their care," he defended himself. "I am not their babysitter who said yes to both looking after them and this mission."Daisy sat down in the nearest chair as her legs and her flaring anger gave out. He was right. This was on her.Oh no, Jemma and Mack were going to kill her. Fitz and Elena could fight over the scraps, but their spouses weren't likely to leave much. What the hell was River thinking! And dragging the boys with her, no doubt. Assuming they left of their own choice that is.But what if they didn't?With her heart racing again, Daisy hacked into the camera system. She quickly brought up the security feed. Rewinding through the footage outside the quinjet, she breathed a small sigh of relief when she saw River leading an arguing Enrique and Ewan out. And towards the main building.Her relief was short felt as she realised River was leading them right to the heart of the problem. Right where the thick of the fight was going on.If anything happened to any of them she would never forgive herself. She barked orders to the team and they quickly moved out headed for the main building and AIM's base of operations. While her hand-picked team all responded perfectly, Daisy couldn't stop the self-chastisement.DeMarco was right. This was all on her. This weekend was supposed to be fun time off with her nephews and goddaughter. But she just couldn't say no to this mission and taking these guys out of the picture. It wasn't like the other teams weren't capable of doing it. She just didn't want to hand this over…And now the three most important people to her were rushing into danger. Why didn't she recognise what Jemma had been stressing to her for the last twelve years? Their work was important, but it paled in comparison to the priority that her children meant to her. If this is what Jemma and the others went through every time she didn't know where the kids were, she owed them one hell of an apology.They were more than halfway to the main reactor when Daisy noticed the AIM soldiers had started retreating. And they still hadn't found a trace of the kids. What the hell were they up to?And where?Daisy ran into the reactor room while her team took out the last AIM soldiers and, finally, she found the kids.River was by the machine's keypad, only taking her eyes off the screen for a second when Daisy entered. Ewan was carefully placing a glowing canister into a protective case. Enrique was holding a large spanner like a baseball bat, and rounded on her when she burst into the room. When he saw her he grinned happily at her, resting a foot on the unconscious AIM technician at his feet already."What the hell were you three thinking?!" she yelled putting her gun away."Don't worry Aunty D; this is nothing compared to the test mum put us through for when we wanted to use her and dad's lab in the basement," Ewan commented confidently. His blue eyes glinted happily at her as he pushed the mask he was wearing off his face."And we used gloves and all the protective gear when dealing with anything that was potentially dangerous," Enrique added grinning and pointing to the gear they still partially had on."We already deactivated the power source for everything expect this monitor. I'm just downloading all the specs now so it can be reviewed later," River finished pulling a USB from behind the screen. She waved it happily to her, "All the deets you need."Daisy snatched it out hand. Behind the kids, her team came in and began the clean-up process for this room."This wasn't you job! I told you three to stay in the quinjet! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?! Any of you?!" She focused on River. "What were you thinking? Are you stupid?!"As soon as the words left her mouth Daisy saw the transformation cross River's familiar brown eyes. They hardened in the exact same way her mother's did before she tore someone who underestimated her down."I was thinking we could do more than sit on our butts doing nothing! We're not stupid. Together," she gestured to the boys who had moved to flank her, "we're a force to be reckoned with. And these guys weren't up to that challenge! We did it! We incapacitated them, and disarmed their weapon!""That's not your job! You're just kids!" she yelled at them."We just wanted to have an adventure like the ones you're always telling us about. Ones you went on with our parents when you were S.H.I.E.L.D. Prove we're like them," Ewan softly said to his feet."My dad was brave enough to step into a quarantine area to help my mum, regardless of the danger. You watched him dive through a hole in the universe to find her on little more than a hunch!" River firmly retorted."My mum survived six months alone on a deserted planet, and was clever enough to bring my dad back from a brainwashing virtual reality," Ewan threw in, joining his sister in defiance to Daisy's admonishment."My mom's loyalty brought my dad back from the false reality he was willing to die in," Enrique added as firmly as the two Fitzsimmons kids. "We…""We wanted to prove we aren't just kids, like you did to Zumu Melinda and Papa Phil," River finished for him when Enrique tampered off. "We can be taken seriously. I've almost finished all my high school courses. We're not just kids."Damnit! This was why Fitz didn't like her telling their stories to them. It was filling their heads with the wrong ideas. Filled them with an expectation that they should be all these things. Things no one wanted or needed from them.Why didn't she listen to Fitz-Simmons?"No," Daisy said, her shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made those stories sound so glamorous. I seemed to miss highlighting one key factor in all those moments. They almost died. Those moments weren't just fun adventures, they were scary, frightening, life or death situations. And… and more importantly; you are not them. You are your own persons."Daisy took a deep breath and met their eyes as she took them in for them. Possibly for the first time."I'm sorry I didn't recognise and acknowledge that. Right. Won't happen again. But for now, we need to make a pack." She saw the three look at her in surprise and confusion. "After your sixteenth birthdays I will book you in for certification and field training.""That's six years away!" Ewan cried, outraged."But the parentals won't be able to tear any of our heads off because that's the minimum age for it," Enrique placated his best friend with a hand on his shoulder. "They wouldn't have grounds to be upset.""Since when do they need grounds?" River asked, a sarcastic turn to her lips."And secondly, absolutely none, none, of what you've done today can get back to your parents if you guys ever want to see me again." Daisy finished pointing first to the Fitzsimmonses then mini-Mack, "Because your mum and your dad would kill me if they did."Daisy heard her team chuckle in the background thinking she was joking, but the kids before her knew the truth. They knew what their parents were capable of, regardless of 'official stories'."Agreed," they chorused eyes widen, and nodding.FITZ "I love you."Fitz paused in pulling his carry-on luggage onto his back.It wasn't that he didn't know. He knew. He knew his mum loved him. There was never any doubt how much she loved him. Or how much she meant to him.But they didn't vocalise it.It had always remained unspoken.Until it wasn't."Love you too, mum," he answered shakily, speaking more to the bag. Nervously he fidgeted with the strap, keeping his head down."Sorry," she quickly interrupted, putting her hands over his. "I know we don't do public displays or anything. And I know you probably consider this embarrassing, but I do love you. You're my son. My Leo. You will always be my son, and the most important thing in my life."I know this is such a big move for you. Going to live and study in the US. I know you are more grown up than any other boy your age. Smarter than any by far. And this is such an opportunity for you. The jobs they're talking about offering you… I can't even follow half of it." Fitz smirked to himself; that was the truth. "And-and now you're moving to the other side of the world and I don't know when I will see you next, let alone-""Mum!" he finally jumped in cutting her off. "It's- it's okay. I-I know I'm moving, but that doesn’t mean anything will change between us." He shrugged, finally raising his head to meet her eye. "You're my mum. Nothing, and no one will ever change that. I can't imagine there will be anyone who even comes close to you for many years to come. If at all."It's not like I'm going to meet someone in the states that's going to steal my heart away in the first week." He grinned self-depreciatively. "It's not like there's going to be anyone close to me in age. And I'm gonna be calling you… well, not every day… but-but we will talk a couple times each week. I promise. I may be leaving ma, but I'm never going to forget you, or what you mean to me."His mum pulled him into her embrace again. Rather than feel tense or uncomfortable by the display Fitz melted into it.When was the next time he was going to get a hug from his mum?The uncertainly of even a mental answer popping in his head made him tighten his arms around his mum. The hug didn't last as long as Fitz secretly wanted it to, but it was more than enough to give him the strength and courage pick up his bag and join the boarding line.Life in America was going to be very different. But his mum would always be his home.MAY "We’re having a baby."Melinda blinked a couple to times to mentally make sure she had heard Fitz correctly."Congratulations," she said distractedly, her voice joining the chorus that met Fitz's words.Fitz-Simmons were going to be parents. That made her feel very old all of sudden. Her kids were going to have a kid!Melinda watched as Daisy enveloped them both in a tight hug as she laughed and shouted out her excitement over the pair's news. She felt a lump grow in her throat at the sight. They may not be her blood, but these were her kids. And she was so proud of them.Phil was the first to get Fitz and Jemma away from Daisy. Melinda smiled softly at the excited smile on his face as he gave Jemma a warm hug before he pulled Fitz into his own separate hug. While Jemma was quickly grabbed by Elena next.It was only after Jemma's laugh quickly died when Mack returned her feet to the ground after his embrace that Melinda noticed the shadow in Jemma's eye. Something was wrong.The mother-to-be wasn't as excited as everyone around her. And if Melinda knew Jemma, she wasn't going to let that show to any of the people around her now. Which surprised her.Not Jemma keeping things to herself for the sake of everyone else. The younger woman had been doing that for as long as Melinda had known her. But she looked doubtful over this news. If Melinda had pick one of them to be anxious about the idea of being a parent she would have picked the one with the disruptive relationship with a parent and less than ideal childhood.She both was and wasn't surprised when Phil joined her in her quiet side area."How about this?" Phil grinned. "It’s great, isn't it? You can't say it was totally unexpected, though. And if I began to suspect, I'm sure you had it picked ages ago." He nudged her excitedly. "Gotta admit, this news makes me feel old.""That's because you are old," Melinda couldn't help throwing at him.They both chuckled and she couldn't stop the sigh at the end."Our kids are growing up. Man, it only feel like yesterday when I picked them for the BUS.""You mean, when I picked them."The shared another smile. Melinda watched as Phil slowly and tentatively covered her hand with his."Can we agree that they're ours? I mean, talk about a scary unknown! Us; grandparents?!""Phil," she started with an eye roll, "Jemma and Fitz have their own parents. They will be the excited grandparents.""Yeah, but Fitz's mum isn't here like us; in space with them!""And Jemma has both her parents waiting for her back in England too."Melinda knew she'd said the wrong thing immediately. The glint of a tease, and slight upturn of Phil's mouth disappeared. Her own froze as she realised his change. The silence between them was short, but it changed both their moods."Of course. You wouldn't know. It was something we found out after you'd been switched." Phil's hand gave hers a squeeze and held hers tight as he explained, "Jemma's parents were killed."Melinda felt her insides go cold. When had this happened? How had she missed this? Why would they be killed? Questions flooded her mind, but she didn’t have to vocalise any of them."When the Watchdogs blacked out the cities and attacked Inhumans they killed anyone who tried to stand in their way. The Simmons were living next door to an Inhuman in London; Crystal. According to their other neighbours, they tried to hide and shelter her and her family. They were found executed in the street outside their apartment building. Jemma didn't even get to make it over for their funeral because the next crisis had hit by the time she'd found out."The two fell into silence as Melinda digested Phil's story. Considering all that had happened immediately after the blackouts, Melinda doubted Jemma had time to even come to terms with her parents' death. No wonder she looked like she was having such mixed feelings. She could only imagine what was going through the young woman's head."Do you ever regret it?" she asked her companion softly, looking for a distraction from the turn her thoughts were taking."What?" he asked back, just as softly."Not doing that," she said, nodding in the couple's direction. "Marrying. Having a family.""If you'd asked me before the Framework; I'd have said yes. I'd have told you all about the perfect life I thought I would have had if I'd just said no to Fury all those years ago. But now…" He sighed contently. "Now, I wouldn't trade these guys for anything. Sure, I never got to hear their first words; or watch their first steps; or drive them to little league or science fairs, or whatever. But I've watched them grow. Played a part in who they are. Who they are continuing to become."Melinda rested her head on Phil's shoulder as he perfectly summed up her own thoughts, her own feelings for these three young people."Every day I worry about them. Every day. I worry about what they're going to face today, how that's going to affect their future. I feel their triumphs. I feel their failures. And when Fitz said those four words…"She felt his chest rise as he took a deep breath. Her own felt like it was swelling at the emotions coursing through it. At the love she felt for these people around her."I could never regret anything that's brought us here. To this moment. Because if this is what it's been leading to, how could I? How could I regret one second of it? I couldn't love these kids any more than I do. Blood. DNA. That's nothing. This is my family. I could never regret this. Not truly."She felt his lips brush her hairline."What about you?"Melinda tilted her head and met his blue eyes. She paused and allowed all she felt for Phil, for Daisy, for Fitz, for Jemma, and for the unborn child joining their family to run through her. She allowed it to shine in her eyes, in a way she would never feel comfortable passing her lips."Same," she answered simply.Where others might call her response a cop out, or insincere, Phil didn't. He just smiled and kissed her lips softly.Because he understood her. He understood what was going through her head; her heart.Everything was about to change, and Melinda wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the universe.COULSON- "She's gone.""I know. She's taking some personal time to recover from Bahrain," Coulson added with a shrug. "I already knew that.""No, that's not what I meant Coulson."Phil looked up from the file he was finishing off from his backlog and raised an eyebrow at the folder Jasper held out to him."Then what are you telling me, Sitwell?" his annoyance starting seep in.Why was he looking at him like this? Like when he'd gotten drunk when the news of Melinda's and Andrew's elopement had hit the office. Like he was expecting him to take this news badly."Spit it out Jasper.""Phil, she's left field work. May transferred to administration, effective immediately. She starts in the office on Monday."Phil felt like the air around him dropped several degrees.No.That couldn't be right.Melinda wouldn't just break up their team act without telling him.She wouldn't.She couldn't."It's already been approved, along with your transfer."She had."Where?" Phil choked out."Fury wants you on some experimental program. File says you'll be based on the North-West coast. But I'm willing to bet it will be too classified for me to know. You're going places Coulson, don't look so glum."The file was dropped on his desk. Phil opened it and saw T.A.H.I.T.I. was stamped across the top page inside the folder."Sounds like a magical deal," Phil quipped under his breath.Jasper clasped him across the shoulder. "If only we should all be so lucky."Yeah, lucky…That was not the word that popped into his head when he thought about how his best friend was shutting him out. That wasn't what he was feeling after he realised she knew he would be getting these orders and said nothing to him when she saw him two nights ago.A part of him wanted to be bitter. How could she shut him out so easily?No.He wouldn't do that. He couldn't.Not when it came to Melinda May. He'd keep climbing the ranks and when he'd gathered enough favours with the Director he'd get her out of that office. Melinda May didn't belong in an office, and Phil would see to it that she didn't stay there.RADCLIFF "I love you."He looked at her stunned. He must have heard her wrong.That wasn't right.A woman who was as perfect as Agnes couldn't love someone like him."You must be mistaken, my dear.""Oh? You know my emotions better than me, do you, Holden?""I don't mean to imply that you don't understand yourself; just that you have allowed yourself to be misguided. Mislead, perhaps," He corrected her. "I've brought you to a lot of your dream locations to visit. Shown you artworks you never thought you'd see with your own eyes." Then he finally figured it out, "It's transference!"Agnes had a look of exasperation and amusement on her face."No, it's not. You dingbat! You may be arrogant, and have an ego the size of a continent, but you have a romantic heart. You are willing to listen to me go on for hours about things you aren't even interested in. And you are willing to do anything for those you care about. It's not transference, it's you. I've fallen for you. You and your romantic, haughty Scottish heart."And like that, something in Holden shifted. Yeah, he may be able to listen to her go on for hours about art, or anything, but that was because it was her. Her drive. Her love of what she was talking about. It was contagious. He couldn't help but pay attention, because the look in her eye when he asked a question about what she'd said, that proved he was actually listening, it was addictive. He was addicted to her.Her smile.Her laugh.Her passion.Her… everything.
Her.
It was seared into his mind. His heart. He could never forget anything about her.This is what his mother had gone on and on to him about.This is what proper love felt like.Not that infatuation he had a horrible fight with her over before he left Glasgow in his 30s. And well, if he'd been willing to leave his home over that, what was he going to do for Agnes?The thought both frightened him and filled him with such excitement. What wouldn't he do for her?Nothing. There was nothing he wasn't willing to do for this woman before him. He would let the world burn if it meant she was kept warm on a cold night. And if that wasn't a scary thought he didn't know what was.Regardless, he wasn't going to give her up.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
MAY "He's gone"Melinda felt like the breath was knocked out of her as Diaz relayed the news from the New York frontlines.No.That… that can't be right.Not…Phil…May had to concentrate to get breath into her lung. She couldn't get their last conversation out of her head. Why hadn't she let him in? Why did she let them part without letting him know how much his friendship meant to her? How much he had always meant to her?She couldn't think straight.She didn't know how to begin to process this; who to talk to.There were only ever two people who could help her when she was like this. One was her ex-husband, so that was out of the question. And the other was Phil and now he was…No. She couldn't even think the word. But Melinda May wasn't normally one to shy away from reality. It was something she had always prided herself on. She could face the hard facts and could go from there.So this was step one.Admitting it to herself.Admitting that her friend Phil Coulson was… dead.Even thinking it was like another sucker punch to the gut. She hissed to herself to try and help the pain pass.Phil was dead.Phil died trying to save the world.He was just a chump from communications, who couldn't lie easily to save his life. He was a do-gooder, who always strove to see the best in everyone. If she had a nickel for every time she'd either kicked his ass in training or saved it while on a mission (be in by physically beating people up, or finally giving in and teaching him how to lie convincingly) she would have enough money that she would never have to work another day in her life.He wasn't a fighter. He wasn't operations.He was a people person. He was from communications for goodness sake!And he died doing what she had given up on.Fighting.He'd stepped up when they needed him to. Phil stepped up when she stepped back.And now he was dead.Because she let him go into the field without her there to cover his back.He had asked her to reconsider after he was assigned the Avenger Initiative but she'd turned him down.Just like she hadn't taken any of his phone calls. They'd become less frequent in the last few months. She'd heard rumours about him spending all his free time up on the west coast.Melinda couldn't remember how she got there, but after they'd been assured the world was safe; after they'd been dismissed for the day; she found herself staring blankly at her phone in her small kitchen.At some point the sky outside had gone dark, and night time had fallen.Her contact details for Phil Coulson shone back at her.Her fingers shook as she held her finger over the call button.She knew he wouldn't answer.Logically, she knew this.But if it went to voicemail, then she could at least hear his voice one last time.One.Last.Time.No. That would be weak. That would be giving into something she wasn't to mention.That would mean…A ragged breath escaped her.Then another.And another.Suddenly Melinda was in a ball on her kitchen floor crying. Once the first tear escaped she couldn't stop. She'd never felt so alone in all her life. There was a gaping wound where her heart should be and no one was there to help her stop from bleed out because of it.Because she'd pushed them all away.First Andrew.Then Phil.But she didn't want to talk to Andrew about Phil, she just wanted to talk to…She jumped when her phone suddenly went off.Flipping it from where she'd dropped it she saw Andrew's name flashing up at her. He must have heard then.Distantly she wondered who had told him, but in the end she didn't want to know.She didn't want to hear his voice.When the fallout from today had died down she would speak to Hill. Sitting on the sidelines had done no one any good. She'd froze when she should have acted. She wouldn't do that again.Her phone rang again. A part of her told her that Andrew would be able to help. He would be a presence to remind her she didn't have to be alone.But at least when you're alone you can't get hurt.In the end, her phone remained unused on her kitchen counter but Melinda was resolved to answer it the next time she was called.COULSON "I love you."Phil smiled and ran his hand lovingly through Audrey's hair. He loved these small quiet moments he could steal away with her."I love you too," he breathed back as he pulled her in for another kiss.Audrey consumed his senses. Phil didn't think he'd ever felt this kind of happiness consume him. He'd seen other experience it. Porter. Barton. Hillgrove. Rosenberg. May.Not that it lasted for Melinda. But he saw the change in her Andrew brought out, and Audrey inspired that in him.A joy he honestly didn't think he would ever feel.Until Audrey.Now… now for the first time in possibly forever he can have both the career he's been working towards, and the familiar connection he's always wanted.He smirked as his lips hit the spot on Audrey's neck that left her weak kneed when she wasn't already seated. Her soft cry sent a shot of arousal and joy through him. Oh how he was looking forward to drawing out a series of different sounds from her tonight. Like any night he could find time for just the two of them.Her hand at the back of his head drew him reluctantly away from her neck."I can't have you leaving a mark on my neck if I'm to be first chair in a couple of days," she breathily explained."I'm a gentleman, not a count," he promised, kissing the back of her hand politely. "No teeth."She throatily chuckled at his, admittedly, bad joke. He wasn't thinking at his best, he mentally defended himself. But the warmth that bloomed in his chest, as her amusement shone in her beautiful eyes made Phil think of something he never thought he would.He suddenly found himself thinking of his grandmother's ring and how perfectly it would fit and look on Audrey's hand. It was simple but the inlaid Peridot stone would suit her beautifully. It could remain practical for her as she did her cello work, and wasn't flashy enough to take away from her other beauty.It would be perfect.Phil couldn't stop the grin from covering his face as he started planning it all out. His visit to his family safety deposit at the bank. The restaurant they could have dinner in before going to see the Northwest Dance Project's latest performance. She really enjoyed the performance they saw last time. Or he could do it during their trip up the cost, he could take Stark up on the use of his beach house in…His thoughts were broken by the ringing of his phone.Both he and Audrey pulled back from each other, and he could see the silent disappointment in her eyes."You better get that," she whispers, smoothing out her dress.Sighing Phil pulled out his phone and answered it as monotone as he could manage in his frustration."Coulson."
"Sir, I'm sorry to interrupt your night off but there's been an unexpected reaction in Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S."
"How long ago?"
"Twenty minutes ago. Selvig can't account for it."
"Okay." Phil straightened his arm so he could see his watch. Running a quick estimate in his mind he finished up the call. "I will be there within the hour."He hung up without waiting to hear the confirmation.Letting another disappointed sigh escape his lips he turned to face her again."Duty calls," she commented, her disappointment audible."Yeah." Phil placed one hand on her shoulder and used the other to raise her eyes to meet his. "But when I get back, I'll be on leave. No phone. No interruptions. Just you and me…""And the coast," she finished for him, smiling broadly."I'm looking forward to it," he grinned excitedly."It's just a shame you are going to miss my performance. We're playing your favourite.""I'll be listening, even if I can't be here in person. Always. I promise.""You better get going, my secret agent man."Phil stole one last kiss before he headed for the door. Once P.E.G.A.S.U.S. and whatever fall out from that was sorted, he would be back. Then they could go on their trip and he could give her his grandmother's ring. Then with a bit of luck they would be making plans for her to become Mrs Phil Coulson.The thought alone had Phil grinning to himself as he pulled his car out into traffic and it didn't leave his face till he was pulling into Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility where the Tesseract was being stored in.RADCLIFF "We're having a baby"Holden didn't know how to describe the emotion that shot through him at those words. They were having a baby?!Alistair Leopold Fitz was going to be a father.He took the news in his stride and managed to put on an air of excited surprise for his… well, friend was too close an endearment. College buddy? Familiar school acquaintance? Train pal?Whatever the term.This man he barely spoke to more than half a dozen times in his life was droning on with complaints about his wife's pregnancy stories. Another thought tickled at the back of Holden's head as he couldn't help but feel things were off with Alistair and his reaction.But then he fished out a photo and was showing it to him. The woman had a kind look on her face and there was an undeniable glow about her as she rested her hand on her enlarged stomach.Then Holden was able to recognise the feeling that was consuming him.Jealousy.He was jealous of this failure of a businessman!A man who has a beautiful, in a simple and homely way, wife; a house in the suburbs of Glasgow; an already failing marriage, considering how often Holden sees him stumble between bars on a Friday night instead of being at home; and a job that isn't stimulating enough to make a radio tune in.And Holden Radcliff, with his engineering degree, his luscious, well paid, interesting work, and had a casual sex set up with a very attractive model (Amy? Was that even her name? Or was it Mary?), was jealous!Jealous of the way he saw Alistair's wife look at him the one time she had joined him in the city. Jealous of the certainty that came from knowing there was one person in the whole world that loved him enough to agree to spend the rest of their life with him. Jealous that he was going to have a small child that would love him totally and unconditionally. That he could look over and after, help shape into being a better person than he was.Jealous that he seemed to have his life more on track than Holden has ever felt like he has.This was the whole human imperative. Grow up. Procreate. And support both child and mother, however needed.How was he so far behind this oaf of a man?It wasn't even like he could say his career didn't allow for this sort of thing either. He wasn't advancing that quickly that he could justify not being able to find someone. He foolishly thought he had found that connection previously. But Helen walked out on him as soon as a man with a larger paycheque expressed interest in her.Holden didn't know what he had to do to find someone like Mrs Fitz, but there was something he could do. Sooner rather than later.He could get out of Glasgow.Really focus on his career. If he couldn't find love, he could find money and power.And as the old adage went; knowledge was power.Then it couldn't be said that Holden Radcliff was missing something from his life.SIMMONS "He's gone."Jemma had never felt like this. She had never failed to understand something the first time it was said to her. That's why she was burning through her secondary school education before she even hit her teens.But this didn't make sense.How could he be gone?How could they imply he was… dead?Pete was only a bit older than her. How could he be dead?Her mum would explain where her understanding had gone wrong. She always had previously.But turning to her, Jemma saw her mother sobbing into her father's arms.No.Pete was only 15!People don't die when they're that young!They die when they're old.They die after they get to do all the stuff they dream of when they're a kid! Not while they're still dreaming!Jemma and Pete agreed that between them were going to have degrees and PhDs from all the top universities on the continent. Then, they would go about saving the world. They always said that was what they were going to do.Together. Pete Taylor and Jemma Simmons would save the world.He was in remission! He'd beaten the cancer that had left him in the hospital for over a year! Two days ago they were making plans for when he got out! They were going to get ice-cream from his favourite shop!Now he was killed by a common cold? No. It wasn't fair!He didn't have an immune system to fight any attack on his body, a traitorous part of her brain quickly corrected her. And it killed him.Jemma felt a shocked gasp escape her lips. Pete was dead. Her only friend and closest family was gone. Her biggest support in school and all the awkward social settings… gone.She was alone to face it.Alone to face the rest of her life.She hadn't realised she'd been crying until her father's arms wrapped around her and pulled into his tight and secure embrace.Why couldn't this have been stopped? Who the hell let someone with a cold into the ward?! Where was the security screening for things for like that? Weren't there procedures for this?! Who could be selfish enough to go in there knowing there were sick people who didn't have any immune system? Who?!Why did he have to die?Why…"He wanted to save the world," she cried into her father's shoulder. "We were going to save everyone together.""I know," he whispered in her ear. "I know."And now he couldn't. They couldn't.But Jemma could. She could make sure safety procedures are followed. Rules saved lives. It would have saved Pete's. It should have. But now it was up to Jemma to make sure they were.Pete may not be able to do it, but someone has to save the world. And Jemma would do everything she could to do that.Even if she had to it by herself.JOHNSON "I lov-…"The sound of static echoed in her head. In her chest. Her heart. It echoed into her very core.No.He wasn't allowed to do this to her! This was meant to be her destiny! Her penance for all she's done! She was meant to die not…How was she meant to live with herself? To live with his death on her conscious?And after he dropped that bomb on her?How was she meant to keep living knowing that he died for? Because he… Because Lincoln loves her?
Oh god. He loves her! He has to make it out of this!
She watched the mark on the screen blink out.No. Please no.Now he was… Lincoln was… dead.The speaker she held in her hand slipped from her grip and fell. Daisy didn't remember her legs giving out on her, but they must have. The next thing she was aware of was the wall opposite her. Coulson was crouched in front of her. May supporting her as they dragged her to her feet and away from the communications panel.Their voices sounded like they were coming from somewhere far off. Like she was hearing while her head was under water.What was she meant to do now?The echo from earlier was back. She felt hollow.Words she had spent so much of her life waiting to hear. To hear it from someone sincere, open, and a genuinely good person. Not a lie to try and manipulate her. Not a forced return. He said it not expecting or pressuring her to say it back. He said it because he felt it.And now he was dead.Because of her. It was all her fault.She could practically hear the team objecting in her mind. May would end it by tell her she was being foolish.But this was the only consistent fact of her life.Where she went, death and destruction followed.She thought she'd gotten past it. She thought that unlocking of her powers would be that moment when her life would change. They had faced difficulties, but they came out on top. They'd lost friends but not to death.This was meant to be a new direction. But it was just more of the same.Trip – dead.Coulson – missing his left hand.May – losing Andrew.Fitz-Simmons – broken, attacked and tortured. Repeatedly.Bobbi and Hunter – alive, but never to contact the people they were closest to.Mack – lost his two closest friends and his brother attacked in their childhood home.Yoyo – her whole life turned upside down and her cousin killed.Lincoln…All because of her.Lincoln's just the latest in the long list of people who were hurt because of her. He cared for her and he got hurt. He was lost in the destruction that follows her.Daisy couldn't let this cycle keep happening. She had to break it.Jemma had taken over from Coulson in helping put her to bed while Daisy was lost in her thoughts. After May left the two of them alone, Jemma got into bed with her and held her tight. Then Fitz joined them.Daisy thought she was cried out, she starting to feel warm and safe in her Fitz-Simmons sandwich.But one sentence each from them restarted it all for her."We love you Daisy, and we're not going anywhere.""We aren't going to let you face this alone."Sobs escaped her lips, because if they weren't going to leave her, she would have to leave them.If there was one thing Daisy knew deep down to very being it was that these two deserved a happily ever after. Together.And she couldn’t be there.FITZ "We're having another baby"Something exploded inside Fitz's chest as the words left Jemma's mouth."But…" he started, unable to finish his first thought from the joy flooding his senses. "You're… You're sure? I mean, we only decided last week to actually try for another."Jemma was beaming back at him."Apparently that conversation was redundant. I ran my blood work twice just to make sure."Fitz stepped up beside his wife and place his hand on her stomach. "And…?""And in about seven months River is going to be a big sister. I-"He didn't let her finish whatever else she was going to say because he covered her lips with his. It wasn't as long as he really wanted, but that was because he was grinning too much. When he leaned back they both burst into laughter."I love you," he gasped."I love you too," Jemma laughed back as he fell to his knees.Fitz rubbed his hands over her still flat stomach. He grinned as he remembered the last time he was in the position. Stuck on that space station not knowing if their child would ever see Earth, meet his ma, or any of the things that were found on the planet they called home. The feel of Jemma's growing stomach under his hands as the months slipped by. The joy and excitement when he started to feel River moving. He couldn't wait to experience that again."And you," he whispered between his hands, "in there. I love you. Your mummy loves you, and your big sister is going to love you. And all your extended family too. Aunt Daisy, Uncle Mack, Aunt Elena and their mini-Mack will be your best friend…""Fitz," Jemma sighed, her voice that familiar mix of exasperation and affection, "let's not go planning their life for them before they even have a fully formed brain. Dictating best friends is a bit much."Fitz ignored her comment and kept talking to their child, "Always remember you are loved. Wholly and unconditionally.""Oh Fitz," Jemma softly called to him. Stealing a glance up, he saw her eyes mist over."I guess this sorts out our answer to Coulson's new offer. I'm sure he can forgive us this.""As long as he is given permission to spoil this child as much as he does River, I don't think he'll mind that we stay on as consultants only.""Giving him another granddaughter may be considered a bit extreme to get out of moving to America again," Fitz grinned."It could be a boy." Jemma quickly pointed out. "With his father's curly hair, and blue eyes," her voice took on a wistful tone as she ran her hands through his hair. "I was so disappointed when River's eyes changed to be more like mine.""Nope. I'd be perfectly happy if all our children ended up looking exactly like you."Fitz grinned as he began to picture their backyard filled with half a dozen little girls who all looked just like Jemma. They were collecting samples of all the leaves in garden for their tea party. River was talking about which ones are safe to eat or put in their mouths with the two who were following her around. Jemma was on a blanket with a new born asleep in her arms. One was leading Fitz to where the play set was, and another was excitedly talking to him while she went down the slide…"All? Let's get through having this one before we start planning too far into the future," she tempered his excitement. "As fun as these stages are, I'm the one who needs to push it out of her body. And if we have too many girls I dread to think what you're going to be like when they reach dating age…"The vision in Fitz's head was instantly replace by the thought of fending off the advances of guys and girls who all looked like Jemma's ex's as they sought to date one of his little girls. A shudder went up his spine."You're right," he nodded. "Let's hope for a boy, and go from there.""That's not what I…" Jemma faded off and shook her head. "What am I supposed to do with you?"Fitz jumped to his feet and gave her a peck on the lips."Love me.""Always."