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The Blackness.Flashes of light, sirens sounding in the night. Screaming, chaos, your heart pounds in your chest. You're being pulled away, but you fight against the death grip with all your might to reach him. Hands stretched out, almost there. He's right there just beyond your fingertips, begging for help. Bleeding out, howling in pain. You try to yell for him but no sound escapes, he can't see you trying to reach him, he can't see how hard you fight to reach him. You're invisible. Helpless. His body crumbles over, silent, no longer struggling for breath. Still. Your heart shatters out of your chest at his stiff body just outside the limits of your reach. His flesh turns to ashes, flames taking over your vision. Blackness filling your head."Leo!" You screamed, shooting straight up in your bed. Sweat beading down your neck.Frantically you clawed at the covers ripping them off your body, you felt like you were suffocating. You pulled at your tank-top, gasping for air as you tried to free your body from the fabric. Once you were completely naked, you sat there with your chest heaving.It was that nightmare again. That damned nightmare that reminded you over and over again about that night, the night the world crumbled beneath your feet.Breathing in deep, you touched your face with shaky hands. Tears streaming down your cheeks, you looked to your side at the empty bed where he once slept beside you. Grabbing the wedding band that hung on a chain around your neck, you held your breath and counted to fifteen. Pulling your knees into your chest, you held yourself. The only sound in the darkness of your lonely room was the sound of your silent sobs.
- - -
After gathering yourself together, you dressed and left your room. It was late into the night and everyone was still asleep. You lightly drug your hand against the cool lair walls, following down the hallway to the bedrooms they had built. This life they had built underground, safe from the surface world.Slowly, you creaked open the first door. Breathing a little sigh of relief to see your daughter sound asleep in her bed. It's not that you expected her to be gone, but seeing her there safe always calmed your nerves.You quietly walked to the side of her bed, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. She had grown into a beautiful young lady. Her complexion a light hue of green thanks to her father. A crown of scales rested above her brow like a tiara, making her your little princess. Luckily she didn't have a shell, so clothing her wasn't a challenge. Not that you would be opposed to a shell, at least it would have protected her... but you were grateful you didn't have to birth a child with a shell, its agonizing enough without the extra size. She was the only thing good left in your life. Honestly, you would have given up a long time ago. She kept you strong."I love you." You whispered stroking her cheek one last time before exiting her room and soundlessly shutting the door.There was still a couple more hours before everyone would be up, you decided to try and get some sleep. Walking towards the kitchen you looked at the pictures that hung on the wall.Closing your eyes you continued the path, you knew the way even without your vision. You dragged your hand around the corner and turned into the kitchen. Grabbing a glass you filled it with water and drank. You heard a sound from the living room and inched your way over to the doorway to peak and see who was there.You froze in disbelief gazing at the dark figure in front of you. 'It can't be?' Your body felt limp and the glass in your hand slipped out shattering as it hit the floor."Leonardo?" You breathed out. This must be a dream.The figure froze, then hesitantly stepped towards you. For a moment your heart felt giddy. The light casted on him illuminating his face and your brows knit together in anger as you saw who it was. Your light heart sunk back down like a stone, and you felt like a fool."Y/n... I'm s' sorry..." He shook his head regretfully."What the fuck are you doing back here Raphael?" You bitterly whispered, turning your back to clean up the glass you had broken.Getting down on your knees you picked at the pieces, hiding your face with your hair. You heard him move, and his hands appeared on the ground beside your face, grabbing at the pieces of glass."I can do it." You mumbled not looking at him."I can help." He grunted."I don't want it!" You smacked his hand away.Raphael looked at you shocked, then turned away. Standing up you threw the chards of glass in the trash and crossed your arms staring at the sink."What were you thinking Raph?" You breathed out, tears threatening the corners of your eyes."I-I-" Raphael let out a sigh. "Fuck, y/n. What do ya want from me?""Me? What do I want from you? Are you fucking kidding me Raphael!" You spun around."I don't know how ta fix this y/n." Raphael stepped forward holding out his hands."There would be nothing to 'fix' if you would have just stayed. We needed you." You looked at him with hurt."I-" He looked at the ground ashamed. "I would've made things worse.""Raph..." you shook your head, tears falling down. "We buried him.""I'm sorry." His breath hitched."Bastard." You held yourself. "Where were you?""This was a mistake..." Raph grumbled. "I should go.""Maybe you shou-" You started to mumble before being interrupted by a squeal."Uncle Raphie!?" Came your daughters excited call.Quickly you turned around, wiping the tears from your face. Turning back around you gave a fake smile. Raphael gave you an apologetic look then turned around to face your daughter."Is that Amber I hear?" Raphael spoke lightheartedly."It is you!!" Amber squealed jumping into Raphael's arms. "I told you he was coming back mom!" She scolded you.You respond to her with a smile, keeping your jaw tight, unable to say anything kind at the moment. Raphael looked at you regretfully, then back to Amber with a sad smile placing her back on the ground."Of course I came back kiddo." Raphael patted the top of her head making her giggle. "We're family.""So you're gonna stay?!" She asked excitedly, her voice full of hope.Raphael looked at you in question, and you raised an eyebrow. Crossing your arms, you silently challenged him. You were fuming on the inside, but there was no way you were going to crush your daughter heart. Apparently the ball was in Raph's court. He cleared his throat and looked back to Amber who stared at him with puppy dog eyes."Yeah, kiddo. I'm stayin'. " Raphael smiled to Amber, his eyes giving you a worried side glance."Awesome." You sarcastically mouthed.
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Breakfast was definitely a strange one. Master Splinter, Mikey, Donnie, Raph, your daughter, all squeezed around the little kitchen table eating pancakes. Amber hadn't left Raphael's side, not that you blamed her, you didn't think he was ever coming back. Yet here he was. Bulky as ever, even compared to his brothers. His neck and shoulders were broader than you remember. A crimson mask still decorated his face, weathered and worn, the years had not been kind to the tattered edges. He sported some new tattoos on his arms, and a few more scars were scattered across his body. He was older, but hell, all of you were. Fuck though, time looked good on him. Rugged just as ever, Raph looked over to you, probably feeling the weight of your stare, and gave you a little smile. You quickly looked back to your plate of pancakes and cursed under your breath for staring."What was that mom?" Amber asked, curious about your private mumblings."'Nothing hun." You looked up, giving her a sweet smile. "You finished?" You asked motioning for her plate."Oh, yeah. Thanks." She scooted it forward.Standing up, you gathered the dishes and took them to the sink. Raphael began to moved to help out, but you motioned for him to stay."I got it." You gave a taut smile.Raph gave a slight nod, and stayed in his seat. You stood at the sink washing dishes, listening to the excited chatter of the family. Everyone talking turns asking questions, telling him what they had been up to. Catching up on life."So you got a girlfriend uncle Raphie?" Amber asked, leaning on the table with mischievous eyes.This caught your attention."Heh... uh, naw..." Raph chuckled awkwardly."Why not?" She pouted."Yeah bro, not been with any hotties?" Mikey joined in on the question."Watch it Mikey." Donnie shot a discrete glance at Amber."Oh right, sorry. I mean, no ladies tickle your fancy?" Mikey wiggled his eye ridges suggestively."Not sure that sounded any better, but okay." Donnie rubbed his eyes sighing."Nah, Look at my ugly mug. Ya think I could have gotten a girl?" Raphael joked, faking a mean face. But by the tone of his voice you could tell he half believed it."Dad did." Came Amber's reply, making you drop the soapy dish you were washing.The plate shattered in the sink causing a loud noise. Everything went silent, you could feel all eyes on you and your face heated up. You tried to pick at the broken pieces in the sink but your hands shook too much to grab them properly. Donatello's hands appeared next to yours, he picked up the shards of glass."Excuse me." You said under your breath, quickly leaving the kitchen. You didn't dare make eye contact with anyone."Crap." Amber jumped up to follow you."Allow me." Master Splinter stopped Amber, standing up."But- Yes Grandfather. " Amber sat back down looking at her lap."Do not fret." Splinter squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, then left to find you.
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Splinter went to find you. After checking your bedroom and the dojo and you not be anywhere in sight... he realized there was only one place you could be, visiting Leo.You knelt on your knees in the small room dedicated to the fallen leader, the space would become the final resting place for all the family when the time came. But for now, only one lone ceramic pot with the family clan's crest sat in front of you. Incense and candles burned around the room, making the air thick. A framed photo sat beside him, along with little figurines, and objects that had been left for him. Mikey had left his favorite comic book in case he wanted something to read in the afterlife, you gave a sad smile remembering when Amber use to come read to her father. She was much younger then, Amber had stopped the older she got, visited less frequently. You knew she loved him, it was just harder to move on you assumed. Maybe that was your problem?You closed your eyes, breathing in the strong incense. Your breath hitched as you remembered that night he was cremated. Watching as the fire engulfed his form, the solemn looks on his brother's faces. The haunting face of Donatello having to do it."I miss him too." Came Splinter's soothing voice, cutting through the nightmares swarming your memories."I'm sorry." You weakly apologized, wiping at the tears that had formed. You hated for people to see you cry."Do not apologized my child." He answered gently.Splinter didn't speak anymore like you had expected him to. Instead, he knelt down beside you, joining you in the silence. And for this you were grateful. His tail slowly curled around lighting another incense stick. He smiled at you sadly, then bowed his head towards his son, humming to himself. Both of you paying your respects to the remains of the fearless leader. His son. Your husband."It's like I'm numb Sensei..." You broke the quiet with your quivering voice.Master Splinter didn't speak but instead gripped your tight fist reassuringly."I mean, I feel things, I-I- It's just hard to explain, I don't know. I can't shake it." Tears snuck down the side of your face."Losing a loved one... is one of the hardest challenges we can face." The rat looked solemnly towards the urn."He's in my veins Papa...I can't get him out. It's-It's like when he died...part of me did too..." Hiding your face you squeezed your eyes shut. "I've tried hard to move on, to be happy. I've pretended for Amber's sake... but... part of me... part of me died with Leonardo." You finished with a whimper."We all handle loss in a different way. I am able to smile because I know my son is at peace. That does not mean I do not miss him dearly... But I know he is happy. And that... makes me happy." Splinter smiled at the photo of Leonardo, a tear dripping down his whisker."My blood feels cold... I don't think I can be happy anymore." You whispered with a shaky breath."It does feel that way." He confirmed, looking at you thoughtfully. "One thing I have learned my child, is that the world will keep turning. So, there will always be night... But, do you know what happens after that?""The sun." You breathed out knowingly."That is correct y/n. The sun will rise." He said with a warm smile.You nodded your head in thought, thankful for his loving words. Even if they didn't feel true, you cherished his wisdom."Ya know... there are some places on earth where the sun doesn't rise, and it's dark for like months." You thought out loud."I see..." Splinter frowned, stroking his beard. "Well then, it is a good thing we live in New York." He winked."Heh...Yeah, I guess it is." Amused, you agreed.You let out a deep breath, feeling the cleansing air leaving your body. You felt drained. You contemplated hibernating and never waking up."Why is he back." You blurted out."Hmm?" Splinter seemed thrown off by your sudden outburst."Raphael. Why would he come back? Out of nowhere- it's- it's been so long!" You spoke in a frustrated tone."I see. And this upsets you?" Splinter questioned."Well... yeeeeah! I mean, he just left! Doesn't it bother you!?" You stared at him with your mouth open."I am grateful my son has returned. He will always be welcomed into my home." He stated, holding his chin up high.You studied the old rat and bit your tongue. There was no point talking about his son, that was not a fight you could win. You exhaled dramatically, looking ahead of you."Besides." Master Splinter watched you from the corner of his eye. His whiskers twitched. "I suspect he has come for the same reason anyone comes back home. To heal.""Hai Sensei." You looked at your lap."We have all made mistakes my daughter. I believe he has grown." He said standing up and bowing once more to Leonardo. "We all have."Splinter gave you a long hug then left, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You pondered everything that was said, nodding your head idly as you thought.Leaning forward you blew out the candles, leaving one lit for just enough light to illuminate Leonardo's portrait. Reaching forward you barley touched the glass, tracing a finger gently across the surface."I'll see you tonight in my dreams, My Braveheart." You smiled, letting the tears fall freely now that you were alone.With a trembling breath you blew out the last candle, allowing the room fill with darkness.
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The next few weeks were awkward as you adjusted to Raphael being back. On more than one occasion you had a jump scare forgetting he was here, ending in your embarrassment. Amber seemed more than thrilled to have him home, everyone did for that matter. But she in particularly, your daughter never left his side. And that bothered you more than you cared to confess.In the beginning you were angry, his presence annoyed you. But now things were changing, and you weren't entirely sure if you were okay with that. For the most part you avoided Raphael, and he noticed. Or maybe he was the one avoiding you? You had to admit though, you had grown accustomed to the extra noise around the lair. It felt more lively now that he was back, like the family was more whole again.And here you all sat, the whole family gathered around the living room floor playing games and eating chocolate cake. Mikey had called everyone in for what he deemed a "Family Fun Night Extravaganza! ". And you hated to agree with him, but it was fun. You spent the whole night laughing, really truly laughing. You couldn't remember the last time you saw everyone so happy. Even Raphael, his laugh was like a thundering billow. You forgot how much power he had in his voice, the deep pitch sending vibrations through your chest. You tried to steal a glance his way but he made eye contact with you, sending you a big toothy grin."You're so loud." You mouthed at Raphael, shaking your head.He snorted and turned away, but you could see he was still sporting a smirk. Putting an arm around your daughter, you pulled her in. She instinctively drew closer to you, resting her head on your chest."This is fun." She smiled up at you."Yeah...it is, isn't it?" You answered, placing a kiss on top of her head."I like seeing you happy." Amber hummed content."...And I like seeing you happy..." You smiled, feeling guilt in the pit of your stomach.You released your hold on Amber, and she sat back up giving her attention to Mikey, who currently had the floor doing impersonations.Standing up, you gathered the plates and headed to the kitchen to wash up before bed. Humming to yourself, you filled the sink with soapy water, enjoying the sound of laughter coming from the other room. You sighed as you dipped your hands in the hot water, the suds dripping off the plate as you lifted it to scrub. There was always something therapeutic about washing dishes."You okay?" You heard Raphael's gravelly voice, you stiffened as he appeared beside you."I'm fine." You replied through gritted teeth, slightly annoyed that your peaceful moment was interrupted.He reminded silent as he turned on the water and began rinsing the dishes you put in the sink. You observed him from the corner of your eyes as you washed. He focused on the dishes, doing that thing he knew you hated. Remaining quiet, forcing you to be the one to speak. You wouldn't brake. Two can play this game you thought to yourself. But why would he check on you? Were you that transparent? What did he want? Probably nothing. Overthinking is what you were doing, you always did that. The clinking dishes filled the air with an awkwardness that made your skin crawl. You couldn't bare the quiet any longer, and turned to him with a huff."Why wouldn't I be okay?" You exhaled, turning off the water."Just ya always use ta wash dishes when ya were upset. That's all." He shrugged, keeping his head tucked and Turning on the faucet again."Oh..." You returned to washing dishes. "I'm fine." You repeated."Whateva ya say." Raphael muttered as he worked.For the next few minutes you both cleaned dishes without speaking. Silently working together with no eye contact, you would hand him a dish and he would rinse. Every now and then he would dry them, resting the dish towel back on his shoulder. It was a beautifully synchronized rhythm. A rhythm you broke when you turned around crossing your arms."Alright, I give big guy. Why are you back?" You questioned, leaning your back against the sink."I don't know..." He grunted."Bullshit." You narrowed your eyes. "Are you here to take her from me? Cause I won't let you Raph." You grew rigid, squaring your jaw."No." He shook his head at you with wide eyes. "Y/n...I would never do that to ya." He reached out to touch your arms but you pulled away. "'sides, I know the rules." Raphael turned his attention back to the sink."Then why are you here Raphael!" You tried to keep your voice down so the others wouldn't hear."I-.." Raphael let out a groan and flipped off the running water. "Look y/n... I know I fucked up... But... ya gotta believe me. I'm not here ta cause ya trouble.""You're right. You did fuck up. But, ya didn't answer my question." You glared at him, putting your hands on your hips."Still so fiery..." Raphael looked at you with admiration in his eyes."Raph, I'm not playing." You tried your best to look threatening and tough, but the turtle towered over you. He probably was laughing on the inside, that thought alone fueled your annoyance."Neither am I." He muttered, studying your face. Raph let out a sigh and looked at the ground. "I know ya think I'm up ta something... but I'm not. I just- I don't know..." He rubbed the back of his neck, his face contorting as he tried to share his thoughts. "Fuck. I just-...I.. I needed my family." He finished softly.You kept your arms crossed, eyes narrowed as you looked at him. Trying to figure out if he was hiding something, he looked extremely uncomfortable. Raph was different than he use to be, and not just the fact he looked older. But it was his... spirit maybe? You struggled to pin point exactly what it was. Raphael let out a huff, and his wall, that guard that he had let down for you, went right back up. He stood up taller, squared his shoulders, rolling them. Raphael's demeanor became more intense, the tough guy act had resumed. But that difference was still there, hiding behind his eyes. Your face softened when you realized what it was about him that was different, something had broken him. He was fragile."Sorry I bothered ya." He smiled painfully at you. "I'll keep outta ya way." The big turtle turned to leave, throwing the dishtowel that had been on his shoulder on the counter."Raph, wait..." You stopped him, cursing yourself on the inside. He watched you quietly, waiting to see if you were going to yell at him."Just- uhg." You closed your eyes. "I'm...I'm sorry.""Don't be sorry. 'S okay." Raphael brushed it off."No. It's really not." You shook your head. "I was just suspicious... and, and... scared...and""Y/n, really it's-" Raphael rubbed the back of his neck."This is you home." You stated, interrupting him. "And I'm sorry...I made you feel unwelcomed ." You acknowledged."Well..." He shifted, his face lost in thought. "I deserved it." He offered you a half smile."Yeah, well..." You put your hands in your pockets, rolling on your heels. You could have sworn you heard crickets chirping. "Enough of this sappy crap." You awkwardly cleared your throat.Quickly pacing over to the fridge, you opened the door and pulled out two bottles."Want a beer?" You offered a bottle towards him."Nah. Don't drink. Thanks though." He politely declined your reached out hand."Since when?" You scoffed in disbelief. "I've never known you to turn down a beer." You returned the bottle back to the fridge.Raph opened his mouth to speak but Amber ran into the kitchen, jumping and planting herself right between you and Raphael."You guys coming back in or what?" She threw her head back dramatically. "You're missing all the fun! Uncle Don is burping Shakespeare!" She squealed."Wouldn't want ta miss that." Raphael mumbled sarcastically."Mom?" Amber looked towards you for an answer.You looked at the beer in your hand and sighed, putting it back into the fridge for later. So much for having a peaceful moment to yourself."I was just on my way back." You smiled, pushing her playfully towards the living room making her giggle."Ya coming?" You looked back towards Raphael."I think I'm gonna hit the sack." He smiled."Sure?" You questioned."Yeah, I think I've had enough extravaganza for tonight. I'm beat." He rolled his shoulders, his neck cracking beneath his muscles."Mkay... Well, good night Raphael." You went to leave."G'night...firecracker." Raphael muttered under his breath, more to himself than you.You froze, and turned back around. He looked surprised that you heard him."What did you just say?" You questioned, remembering the pet name he use to call you."Said G'night." He shrugged innocently."Oh... I thought you said- Never mind." You waved off. "I need sleep... Night." You mumbled, yawning to yourself as you walked towards the laughter that resonated in the living room.Raphael stood in the middle of the kitchen, watching as you disappeared. A faint smile across his lips. He sunk his head and let out a deep exhale, then straightened back up."Night Firecracker." He smirked.
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"This way!" Leonardo commanded as he ran past you, darting around the corner."Wait! Leo!" You frantically ran after him, holding your arms out trying to grasp him in your fingertips.Turning the corner, you skid to a stop. Nothing. There was nothing here. You stood alone in this giant space, darkness filling all corners. The blackness creeping in all around you. A spotlight shining on the space you stood, illuminating the concrete floor beneath you."Leonardo?" You whispered, your eyes darting every which way."Over here my love." Leonardo's voice echoed throughout the room."Where are you?" You spun in a circle trying to find the source of his voice."I'm right here." Leo answered, his voice sounded so close, like he was speaking in your ear."I don't- Leo...where are you?" You whimpered, but he didn't answer this time. "Leonardo, please."The room was void of any noise, your breathing sounded like a freight train in your ears. You felt your heart pounding in your throat. Looking down at the ground you felt confused, there were cracks forming in the concrete under your feet. No wait... was the floor... glass?"AHHHG!" You cried out, reaching for something to grab onto as the floor beneath shattered.Screaming, you felt that sinking sick feeling in your stomach as you fell, the pieces of glass suspended in mid air all around you. You cascaded down, along with the glass, for what felt like an eternity before pain flooded your body as you came to a sudden stop."LEONARDO." You coughed out, gasping for air on your bedroom floor.Disoriented you slowly wiggled your fingers, feeling the ground beneath. You pushed yourself off your belly, sitting up."Shit." You panted, rubbing your eyes.All the covers and sheets had been kicked off your bed. You pulled yourself up and sat on the mattress. It was only 3am. The shakiness started to kick in and you shivered. Grabbing the blanket, you wrapped it around your shoulders, squeezing your wedding band tight and trying to catch your breath once again.Feeling sick to your stomach, and part of you questioning if this was real life or a dream, you jumped up quickly and made your way to the only anchor you had. Your daughter.Opening the door to Amber's room you let out a shaky sigh of relief seeing your daughter sleeping soundly. You closed the door carefully, and made your way back to your room, pausing when you heard a noise.You followed the sound and stopped right outside the Dojo. The lights were on inside, you leaned in closer to listen hearing clanking metal and grunts. You hesitantly entered, spotting the source of the noise. Raphael was laying on the bench press pumping iron. You quietly approached him, the blanket still wrapped tightly around you, making you look like a burrito. Raphael hadn't noticed you enter, and your sudden presence before him made the turtle jump."Shit!" Raph exclaimed as he almost dropped the weights on his chest."I'm so sorry!" You quickly apologized, watching him fumble with the bar and managing to place it back in it's resting position above him. "I didn't mean to scare you." You suppressed a laugh."Wasn't scared." He grumbled defensively. "Why are ya up?" He sat up on the bench, wiping the sweat off his neck with a towel."Why are you up?" You countered.Raphael leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Asked ya first.""Couldn't sleep." You threw out casually, avoiding his eye contact."Me neither." He grunted.Raphael cleared his throat and you realized he was waiting for you to leave before he continued his workout."Oh, Carry on." You motioned for the weights.Raph moved to position himself back on the bench. "Ya sure?" He looked back to double check you didn't need anything."Yeah. Pay me no mind." You hummed, turning to leave."Ya don't have ta leave." Raphael spoke as he lifted the bar and started to pump, concentrating on his form.You leaned against the wall. "Do you mind? I mean, if I stay?" You asked sheepishly."Wouldn't have offered if I did." He shot you a smug sideways glance.You slid down the wall, wrapping your body in the blanket as you settled on the ground. "Smartass." You mumbled, drawing out a chuckle from Raphael.Leaning your head against the wall you held the blanket up tight around your chest, nestling your face in the comfort. You watched as Raphael worked out, his muscles bulging under the weight. His skin was glistening from sweat, highlighting just how well defined his body really was. Raph's chest puffed in and out as he lifted the bar, his breath labored and heavy. He had a steady beat, and you thought it hypnotizing. The way the metal would clank was soothing, and you found your heartbeat slowing down to match the rhythm and pace of his movements. A yawn escaped your lips and you closed your burning eyes, drifting off to the sound of Raphael huffing and metal clanking.
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You shifted as the warmth hugged every inch of your body. Was someone calling your name?"Moooooooom" you heard the familiar voice, one that soothed your soul.You felt yourself being drawn to it and you hummed quietly, feeling the brightness blinding your vision."Wake uuuup sleepy head." The voice summoned you.Opening your eyes you saw Amber staring back at you with a warm smile. Her beautiful tiara of scales on her head, your little princess. You smiled back, and groggily tried to sit up. You didn't remember going to your room last night?"Wow mom, I'm never up before you!" She crossed her arms with a giggle. "Have a late night or something?"You stared at your bed. "How did i-" you trailed off. You noticed Amber was watching you with a worried expression, still waiting for a reply. "Actually...I slept great." You responded surprised."Good to hear." Amber threw herself down beside you on the bed. "Ya better hurry up though." She yawned, stealing the blanket from you."What?" You questioned, not sure what she was referring to."You're gonna be late for your weekly visit with aunt April." She mumbled, closing her eyes."Shit!" You jumped up, startling your daughter."Language!" She called out, but you were already out of the door.You smacked into Mikey running towards the bathroom, you skidded sideways a couple steps but kept going."Whoah sweet thang, where's the fire?" He called after you."Running late!" You called back."Oooh right, it's Tuesday. Say hi to Angelcakes for me!" He beamed, and you gave him a thumbs up before shutting the bathroom door.
- - -
"So, you are still having the nightmares?" The slender woman across from you clicked her pen.You leaned back with your feet curled under your legs in the oversized black leather lazy boy. The room was a small den, and it belonged to the psychologist in front of you, Dr. Carrie. The space was homey, a Persian rug on the wooden floor, plump heavy curtains blocking out the light from the windows. Books of all sizes decorated the shelves on the walls. One wall was dedicated to framed photos and various college degrees and awards. Little fountains and plants made the area tranquil, the sound of water flowing had a calming affect. Your psychologist sat across from you, waiting patiently for you to speak. You weren't sure how old she was, mid forties would be your best guess. Her brunette hair was tied back in a slick bun, she wore a simple but expensive looking blouse and a pencil skirt. And just the right amount of jewelry to accent her green eyes. A pair of red rimed glasses rested on her long hooked nose. She scribbled something in her notebook as she observed.You idly rubbed circles in the leather of the armrest. "Yeah. I am." You nodded quietly."Can you tell me more about them?" She asked crossing her legs.You picked a spot on the rug and stared at the pattern, trying to remember the dreams. "They're the same as always, just about...him." You cleared the lump forming in your throat."And his death?" She clarified."Sometimes." You furrowed your brows. "But sometimes he just... disappears? But I know, I can feel it in my stomach. He's in trouble... and I just..." you felt your heart speeding up and you paused and took a breath to calm yourself. "I wake up." You said quietly, straightening yourself up."Y/n... you have been coming here for some time now, and your condition hasn't seemed to improve. I'm curios, are you doing any of the exercises we've discussed?" Dr. Carrie rested her hands in her lap watching you closely.You shifted uncomfortably, feeling more rigged than before. "I'm sorry, but...my condition? My condition DOCTOR, is that I'm a widow. My husband is dead, and I watched it happen. Forgive me that I've not forgotten about him just yet!" You spoke more harshly than intended."There is no need to be on the defensive. Please, forgive me. But, you didn't answer... have you done any of the changes we've talked about?" She was very carful with her tone this time.You crossed your arms and looked away. "No." You mumbled. - - - "So how did it go?" April asked before calling over a waitress.The young girl pranced over, flipping her long ponytail side to side."I yelled at her." You said flatly, looking at the menu."You yelled at your shrink?" April looked at you with amusement."I apologized." You gave her a salty smile."I'll have the Caesar salad." She smiled at the waitress. "You know she's just trying to help." She turned back to you.You let out a scoff. "She's a cold-hearted bitch." You turned to the waitress. "Can I get a bowl of your house soup?" You smiled sweetly. The young waitress left and you turned your attention back to April who was crossing her arms."You don't mean that." She scolded."No, I don't." You replied half-heartedly."You know... you could always try taking to your family.. you know, instead of a shrink? I mean, if you hate her that much... or at least tell them that you're seeing one...." April reasoned while taking a sip of her water."I don't hate her.. it's just...been a rough week." You sunk down in the chair. "Raphael is back." You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose.April sucked in a gasp of air, choking on her drink. "Raph's back?"You nodded in response."Huh... well that's..." April though about it."Fucking weird." You finished her sentence."No." She gave you a hopeful smile. " I think it's wonderful. It'll be a good change for everyone.""We didn't need the change." You stated matter of factly."Change is good." April spoke reassuringly.Before you had a chance to argue further, the waitress came up to the table, dropping off your lunch. You gave her a polite smile, and she left with a flip of her ponytail. You looked back to April whose expression had changed to a more mischievous look."Speaking of change..." she smiled, playing around her salad with a fork."No." You responded, rolling your eyes."But I really think you'll like this guy!" April pulled out her phone and began looking for a picture to show you."No offense Ape, but I don't think we have the same taste. Not that Casey isn't a bucket of charm." You commented sarcastically, going back to eating your soup."Y/n...it's been years." April spoke somberly, changing her tone. "Don't you think it's time you started looking? I mean if not for you, do it for Amber. She needs a father figure.""She has a father figure, three of them." You remarked."Uncles are different than a dad. She wants to see her mom be happy with someone again!You deserve to be happy again y/n. Both of you do." April looked at her phone and smiled when she found the picture, she stretched out her arm to show you. "Besides, He's cuteeee." She sung.You leaned forward and looked at the screen in thought. "I'll think about it." You answered in defeat.
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You entered the lair with a tired sigh. Your therapy sessions always took more out of you than you expected. April was just as exhausting as ever, not that you would complain. You enjoyed your lunches together, and it gave you an alibi as to where you go weekly. She just always expected so much from you. In the beginning she was more gentle, but now she practiced a more tough love. And now you had to go on a date... well, you hadn't said yes. You just told her you would think about it. That's not a yes right? No, thinking isn't wrong. You are allowed to consider it, after all it has been years since you've been in contact with another man... the guilt still ate at you though. How could you possibly claim to love Leo, and then go off and be happy with another man after he had died. It would be hypercritical...wouldn't it?You squeezed your eyes tight. "Fucking headache." You mumbled, rubbing your temples.You walked into the living room and spotted Amber sitting on the couch with her arms crossed."How's Aunt Apes?" She looked at you with narrow eyes.You tried to ignore her accusing tone of voice and casualty sat your purse down on the coffee table."Good." You said nonchalantly."You've been lying." Amber stated.You froze. Looking over to her you raised an eyebrow, trying to look playful. "I have?" You spoke calmly to hide your panic starting to build inside."Yep." She spoke, standing up. Her arms still crossed she began circling you. "My whole life. You've been lying to me."You heart began to pickup speed, now you were really panicking. 'Shit!' You cursed in your head. How did she find out!?Amber's scowl suddenly was replaced with a wide grin and she laughed at her acting skills. "You're a ninja!" She slapped her hands on her thighs.You physically relaxed, letting out the breath you were holding in the form of a soft chuckle. "That's ridiculous." You mused, walking towards the kitchen. "Besides, historically speaking there are no girl ninjas" you winked at Amber over your shoulder."Cut the shit!" Amber jumped over the back of the couch cutting you off before you could reach the kitchen."Language!" You scolded with a stern look. Amber mumbled her apologizes."Admit it! You were a kunoichi!" Amber accused you with a glint of excitement in her eyes.You looked at her for a second, did you really want to open this door? You had a hard enough time trying to keep Amber away from this stuff. You could always lie? But you really didn't want to keep another secret. Your daughter looked as though she was holding her breath waiting for your reply.You sighed. "Who told you?""Really!?" Amber almost jumped from enthusiasm. "Uncle Mike told me!" She beamed."MIKEY!" You yelled, putting a hand on your hip.Mikey and Raphael came walking around the corner. Mikey was shoving his mouth full of food. Raphael greeted you with a nod that you ignored, you were too focused on the turtle in orange."Yo honey pie, what's up?" Mikey said sweetly."Did you tell Amber I was kunoichi?" You glared at him putting a hand on your hip."Ooooooh...." Mikey sunk his head down in his shoulders. "Sorry dude...it just slipped out...""Mom! That's so cool!" Amber cut you off before you could yell at him. She looked at you with pride."Your mom use to kick some major butt." Raphael interjected with a chuckle. You caught an admiring glance from him and looked back over to your daughter. You were still unhappy about this."Yeah, Uncle Mike says she use to kick YOUR butt!" Amber teased Raphael. Raph rolled his eyes and grumbled to himself, obviously not amused. You tried to hold back your laughter."Yeah dude, your mom was awwwwesomeeee." Mikey squealed out giving Amber a high-five.You puffed out your chest slightly, feeling flattered by all this talk."I want to see you fight!" Amber squealed."I don't know..." you rubbed the back of your neck. Feeling the heat from all this attention."Please, please, please, please!" Amber hung onto your arm, begging."Babe, it's been a long time..." You tried to reason, looking down into your daughters hopeful eyes."She's chicken." Raphael snorted in amusement.This caught your attention."What did you just say?" You raised an eyebrow at the muscular turtle. How dare he, the one who ran away, HIM call you chicken. You knew he didn't mean anything by it, but it still struck a cord."Awwwwww snap!" Michelangelo snapped his fingers dramatically, enjoying the situation."He just called you ouuuuuuut!!!" Amber joined in the taunting, stepping by Mikey on the side."Ya heard me." Raph smirked, crossing his arms.'Okay, he wants to do this? Fine.' You mused in your mind."I may be rusty..." You spoke, pressing a finger on Raph's chest. "But I could still take your sorry butt dowwwwn!" You teased, snapping your fingers. "Oh yeah?" Raphael stepped closer, using his size to intimidate you. You held your ground."Bring. It. Red." You fired back. Looking up at him with determination.Amber and Mikey watched the face-off with open mouths. Amber let out a victory screech and jumped on Mikey's back."FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" She yelled pumping her fist into the air."FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" Mikey ran around the living room with Amber on his back.They both chanted as you and Raphael still stood in the same spot. Neither backing down or looking away, lest it make either seem weak. Raph gave you a smug wink. You smirked at the hothead.He was going down.
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'What the crap was I thinking!?' You screamed in your head.The whole family stood in the dojo waiting for the fight. Even Master Splinter had come to join in on the fun. You and Raphael stood in the center of the room preparing to start. Raphael was in full gear, sais at the ready. You on the other hand, had decided to just wear yoga pants and a tank top. You didn't even know if you could fit in your old gear anyway.Mikey paced around the two of you making opening introductions like this was some pay per view fight. Palms sweaty, you gripped the bo staff in your hands tightly. Why did you think this was a good idea? You felt so powerful just an hour ago. And now that the adrenaline had faded, you realized just how big the giant mass of muscles standing in front of you was."I want to see a clean fight!" Mikey announced stepping back a few steps. He leaned forward with a chuckle. "Who am I kidding. You kids make it entertaining!" He winked.Mikey retreated to the sidelines where Amber sat waiting with excitement. Donnie seemed rather excited as well."Time to place bets!" Mikey announced, earning a displeased look from Master Splinter. "Uhh, I mean, just kidding!" Mikey tried to back track quickly.Amber gave her grandfather a giggle and the rat looked at her with a sly grin. He leaned down to Ambers ear."My money is on y/n." He winked.Amber's eyes twinkled, full of joy. "GO MOM!!" She cheered.You looked at your daughter and let out a nervous breath. You hadn't been paying attention, your thoughts were screaming in your head to run. Apparently the match was starting because Raphael was already bowing. You quickly gave your attention back to him and bowed in return."Don't worry Doll, I'll go easy on ya." Raph taunted."I'm not the one you should worry about Tiger." You shot back, feeling a new fire igniting in your belly. He was going down.You both paced around in a circle waiting for either one to strike first. You kept your stance down low ready to move. Raphael crept sideways, slowly moving like a animal getting ready to attack. Frustration got the best of him, and he pounced first. You jumped to the side avoiding his grasp and swung your weapon hitting him in the chest. Your arms stung from the force being jolted through the staff. Damn, it was like hitting a brick wall! He let out a growl and swung around kicking up and you jumped back rolling to the side. You flipped up to your feet and ducked back just under his next jab. You hit his side under his armpit and quickly ran a few steps away. He followed running close behind, twirling his sais in his hands effortlessly. You swiftly dropped to the floor without warning, tripping him with your staff. His eyes widened in shock as he began to fall but he expertly corrected and rolled flipping back up and charging you. You charged towards him and used you staff to volt over him, but mid air he managed to hook you staff with his sai and rip it from your grasp. You landed behind him with a thud."Shit." You huffed out, your breath staggered.Raphael twisted around sweeping your leg and knocking you on your back. You let out a struggled breath as all the air had escaped your lungs."NO!" Amber screamed, covering her face with her hands."It's not over yet." Mikey winked at her. "Wait for it."Raphael pinned you down, his hands holding your arms down and his legs on either side of yours. A smug look on his face. You were both breathing heavy, your chest rising up and down as you tried to steady your breath. He leaned down and you felt his hot breath on your cheek. You felt something in the pit of your stomach, something you hadn't felt in a while."Shit." You breathed, barley audible."Told ya I'd go easy." He smirked, a glimmer in his eyes. Damn his eyes.You could hear the others cheering. Fueling your determination. Raphael stiffened, his demeanor changed from cocky to uncomfortable. You looked at him puzzled, then your realized what was wrong. Your chest was at his eye level. The weight of gravity pushing your boobs up, giving you massive cleavage. Your tank top had ridden down reveling the top of your bra, sweat glistening your skin. You noticed how hard he tried not to look as you breathed, your mounds rising up and down from his face. That's it. You hated to play dirty, but you were going to win this.Your arms were pinned but your legs were free. Raphael let out a sharp gasp as you slowly dragged your leg up his thigh, teasing dangerous high with your foot. He jerked up and you took the opportunity to kick him back. You jumped to your feet and he stumbled back up. He grabbed his sais and charged for you once more with a flustered growl. This time you slid between his legs ending in a crouch behind him, throwing him off.You had no weapon, thinking fast you jumped on the back of his shell before he had a chance to turn around."What the hell!?" Raphael growled, staggering forward slightly.You held on for dear life. Raphael spun around, trying to get you to let go. You could hear the cheers from the corner of the room. You watched your daughter jumping up and down clapping and yelling your name. You gave a resolved smile. Gripping the top of his shell you climbed up higher, standing as best you could. You used all your body weight and jerked backwards, causing him to fumble back. You released your hold and jumped out of the way as he crashed down on the back of his shell, cursing on his way down. You quickly straddled him, holding his sai he had dropped up to his neck. He froze and looked at you in disbelief."Don't worry Doll, I went easy on ya." You winked."Shit." He breathed out, closing his eyes in defeat.Everyone was silent. You could feel his chest rising beneath your body, and you were amazed at how you managed to bring down this beast."Daaaaaaaaaaayyyaaaammmmm!" Amber hollered, breaking the still air.Donnie chuckled, twirling Amber around. She always managed to bring the silly out of everyone."Whoohoooo!" Don cheered."MY GIRL WINS!" Mikey ran up to you lifting your arms in the air, pulling you up to your feet in the process.You laughed, a hardy real laugh. You both bowed. You looked back behind you at Raphael who was still on the ground."Common, get up Red." You spoke playfully."Nah, just gonna stay here in my shame for a minute longer." He mumbled.Amber ran up jumping at you. You caught her and she hugged you tight."Oh not too tight." You whined. "I gotta pee." You pulled her off.Amber looked at you with a wide grin. "I love you." She laughed."I know." You winked at her. Then you turned to sprint towards the bathroom. You gave one last glance at the sore loser on the floor. "I still got it." You mused to yourself.Mikey and Amber turned to look at Raphael. His eyes were still closed, his breathing even. Master Splinter came beside Amber."You know, that move is how young y/n got your father's attention." The rat nudged Amber in the side playfully."No way! That was an actual move?" Amber asked amazed."No... but she liked to climb on the boy's shells." Splinter chuckled."I liked it." Mikey grinned, wiggling an eye ridge.Splinter smacked Mikey in the head with his staff, causing everyone to erupt with laughter."Oooouuuuch! Whaaaat?" Mikey whined rubbing the back of his scalp.
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You’re fingertips brushed lightly over the silky black fabric. It had been so long since you had even considered wearing a dress. You took the hanger from the closet and held the garment up to your body. Swaying slightly, you watched the dress flow in the mirror before you. Your eyes moved from the dress to your face. Your cheeks and forehead were still ruddy from all the adrenaline of the fight. A knotted mess of hair crowned the top of your head. Turning to the side, you slid your hand down the curves of your hip. You had definitely gained a few pounds throughout the years. You breathed out a sigh, and lowered your gaze. Balling the dress up in a wad, you placed it in your lap as you sat on the edge of your bed. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea...You heard Amber’s voice from outside your room. “Mom?” Her face appeared in the doorway. “Are you coming back- what are you doing?” She questioned, entering the room now.Patting the bed beside you, you smiled. “Come here.”Amber tilted her head in confusion, but came and sat beside you anyways. “Ooo that’s pretty.” She reached for the material in your lap.“You think so?” You smiled.“Oh yes. How come you never wear it?” She took it from you, and held it up.“Well...that’s what I wanted to talk to you about actually.” Grabbing her hands in yours, you studied her carefully. “What would you think...if... if I... uhm.. I- I uh-“ You cleared your throat, why was the room so hot?“I think you should.” She smiled at you, giving your hands a squeeze.“What-“ You blinked at her with your mouth open. “I didn’t even-““I think it’s about time you put yourself on the market.” Amber nodded her head adamantly.“I don’t know-“ You tried to argue.“Yes Sir.” She cut you off. “Plenty of fish in the sea!” She put a finger up matter-of-factly.You furrowed your brows in thought. “That doesn’t quite apply to-““YOUR MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD!” She jumped up with a fist in the air.You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Amber, I’m being serious.” You mumbled.“So am I.” Your daughter spoke softly. You felt her hand cup your cheek. “I want you to be happy mama.” She rubbed comforting circles with her thumb.You felt your eyes burn. “I am happy.” You leaned into her hand. “You are all I need.”“I know.” Amber hummed. “But also...you need a man.” She let go of your face. “Common.” Your daughter grabbed your arms and pulled you up. She led you in front of your mirror and held the silk dress up to your body. “Hot.” She beamed.“I mean...I don’t know.” You scrunched your nose.“Mom! You’re so pretty.” She rested her chin on your shoulder. “Any guy would be so lucky.”You had to admit, sometimes you felt like Amber was the mom and not you.“Okay. I guess...” you tilted your head at the reflection in the mirror. “One date can’t hurt...”“Bow chicka wow wow!” She sung.“Amber!” You squealed.Your daughter giggled, pleased with herself. “Just saying.” She wiggled her eyebrows.You shook your head pretending like your were displeased, trying to cover your embarrassment. “Young lady-““I’m kiddingggg.” She hung on your arm, looking up at you with those eyes.“I love you.” You planted a kiss on her scales.“I know.” She smiled. “I love you too.” She moved a strand of your frazzled hair out of your face. “But boy, you need a shower.”You looked at your reflection. “Oh gosh, I do.” You agreed flatly.“Yep. Hurry up, Uncle Raph is buying us all icecream!” Amber skipped towards the door, hanging on the frame.A coy smile played at your lips. “Oh he is now? And why is that?” You crossed your arms at your daughter. Pretty certain that you already knew the answer to the question.“Uhm...” Amber scrunched her face like she had to think about the answer. She gave you an innocent shrug, tossing your dress on the bed. “I guess... Well, I guess it’s because I made a bet with him before the fight.” She pointed her fingers at you like they were guns. “Pew pew.” She winked at you right before she dashed out the door.Shaking your head in thought. You bit the inside of your cheek, unable to prevent the proud smile that spread across your face. “That’s my girl.” You mused.
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It was evening time. Everyone was lounging around the living room, enjoying your winnings. A few gallons of ice cream laid out, melting away as people ate and giggled. Raphael honored his bet with Amber and had treated the whole household. Going so far as buying a few different flavors just to be nice. Well, technically April was the one who went out and bought it, but Raphael gave her the money to do so. April didn’t mind, she was happy to be of help. And she made sure to give Raphael an earful about not telling her he was back. He apologized, and she forgave him of course. April would always consider the turtles to be family, and she had a soft spot for them.You still hadn’t come out of the bathroom, and Raphael was curious what was taking so long. April had gone to check on you, but she hadn’t come back either. He stared at the empty bowl reserved for you and couldn’t help from asking.“Amber, Is your mom gonna come get some of this ice cream?” He added a second helping of the cold treat to his bowl.Amber sat on the floor with her back against the couch. She was playing cards with Mikey, Don, and her grandfather. “Oh, put hers in the freezer. I think she’s busy getting ready.” She looked up at Raphael.“For what?” Raph shoved a full scoop of ice scream in his mouth. “A rematch I hope.” He mumbled through his mouth full of food.“Her date.” Amber replied nonchalantly, slamming a card down. “ Read ‘em and weep sucka!”Raphael took a surprised breath, sucking food down his windpipe. “da- date?” He coughed out.“Yo! A date!” Mikey beamed. “That’s Awesome dudette!”“That’s great!” Donnie chimed in.“Yes, I too am very happy for young Y/n.” Splinter’s whiskers raised with his smile.“Yeah!” Amber agreed, collecting her winnings from the center of the coffee table. “Apparently he’s a friend of aunt Apes!”Mikey sat with his face resting in his hand. “He a hottie?” He questioned, still pouting about losing.“He is!” Amber replied with a twinkle in her eye.Raphael was curious, but tried to sound as uninterested as possible. “Ya..ya got a picture or something?”Amber dug out her phone and began scrolling. “Yeah, here. I stalked him!” She held out the device for everyone to see.“Oooo, I’d hit that.” Mikey winked at Amber.“Mikey.” Donatello glared at his brother.“I mean, if I wasn’t into chicks bro.” Mikey rolled his eyes.“Thats not what I- nevermind.” Don gave up trying to scold him, rubbing his temples as he took a deep breath.“He looks like he smells pretty.” Raphael mumbled, causing Amber to look his way. Raph swallowed, not meaning for anyone to hear his jab.A mischievous smile spread across Amber’s face. “I bet he smells like flowers.” She teased, adding on to his comment.“And cookies!” Mikey joined in.“And kittens!” Donnie gave a snort.Master Splinter remained silent, smiling to himself as he ate his ice cream. He loved the liveliness his home had lately.Raphael chuckled and opened his mouth to add another insult. “And- Wow.” His jaw dropped, staring in the direction that you had entered the room.Amber stood up, holding her hands over her mouth. “Mom...you look...”“Perfect.” Raphael breathed out, barley audible for anyone to hear.“You look great!” Amber ran up to you, automatically touching your hair.You felt your face heat up, feeling embarrassed. “You think so? Is it too much? I don’t normally wear lipstick... and this dress.” You began to ramble. “Oh gosh, it’s too much isn’t it? I can change-”“No.” Raphael’s voice cut through your thoughts. Your eyes snapped to his. Raph could feel the attention of the whole room on him, but he could care less. The only thing going through his mind right now was how your gaze seemed to have him frozen in his tracks. “I like the dress.” He added, shrugging his shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal. You nodded your head slowly as you peeled your eyes in a different direction than his. Feeling the heat return once again to your face.“Well, we better get going!” April walked past you to grab her things.“Are you going on the date with her?” Amber cocked her head to the side.“Oh no. But he’s picking her up at my house.” April nodded in thought as she tried to locate her bag. Raphael pointed to were it sat, and she smiled in thanks.“I don’t want him to know I live in a sewer just yet...” You nudged Amber with a wink. You moved to grab your purse. “Nothing says ‘healthy relationship’ like starting it off with lies.” You mumbled under your breath feeling the anxiety start to creep in your stomach.A beeping sound started to go off, startling you. You jumped slightly, feeling your heart race.“Oh!” Donnie started to run towards his lab, having forgot about a project he was working on. He stopped mid-dash and turned back towards you. “Uh, you have fun tonight!” He pointed at you with a dorky smile. He ran through his lab door, but stuck his head out once more. “You look beautiful y/n.” He gave you a knowing look. Don could always tell when you were anxious.You smiled. “Thank you.” You mouthed at him.“You crazy kids get outta here!” Amber swatted at you. “Oh wait!” She pulled out a wallet from her back pocket and retrieved two dollars. “Here, don’t you two whippersnappers spend it all in one place ya hear!” She mimicked an old man.You rolled your eyes at her. “You’re a goon.” You kissed her forehead.“Have fun mama.” She hugged you.You took a deep breath and stepped forward. New adventures were good right? But why did you feel so sick right now. Maybe this was a bad idea... it wasn’t too late to cancel...You felt pressure in your head, like someone had their hands on your brain squeezing. It was all too much. This wasn’t right. How could you-Raphael was suddenly standing before you and it made the worried voices in your head go silent. There was something about the way he looked at you, it made your stomach do flips, and calm your nerves all at the same time. He held out your coat for you, and you stepped forward letting him help put it on.“Have a good time.” He gave you a polite nod, stepping over to the side so you could walk over to April.“Wish us luck!” April waved bye, leading you of of the lair.“Love you!” Amber called out.And just like that, everything went dead. Amber walked over to the back of the couch and flopped over it. “What shall we do tonight?” She sighed.Master Splinter walked away quickly, waving as he left. “My program is on.” He disappeared into his room.Raphael chuckled at his father. He had missed the old rat. “Looks like it’s just the three of us.” He sat down on the couch beside Amber.“Speak for yourselves Bruh, I have a date tonight.” Mikey gave a cocky grin.“You have a date?” Amber gave Mikey a doubtful look“Yeah my dude! She’s a total babe.” Mikey stood up taking the gallon of ice cream and eating straight out of it with a spoon.Amber raised an eye ridge. “And she’sss...real?”“Yeah, not one of ya imaginary friends?” Raphael questioned.“Bruh. Here, look.” Mikey held out his phone. Sure enough there was a picture of him and a cute redhead.“Hm. Well looky there.” Amber nodded her head. “She is real.”“Told ya.” Mikey smirked. “Oh, and by the way... I don’t appreciate your skepticism.” He glared, pointing at both Raph and Amber.“Sorry, We won’t doubt you next time.” Amber smiled sweetly at her uncle.“How’d ya managed that with your ugly mug?” Raphael was still uncertain of all this.Mikey sported a wide grin. “The internet, bro. It’s a magical place.” He winked.“Huh...” Raphael bit his tongue as he thought.“Well I gotta bolt! Laters!” Mikey ran towards his room, still carrying the gallon tub of ice cream.“Some people’s kids.” Amber shook her head, pretending to be disappointed.“And then there were two.” Raph leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees.“Us two losers without anything to do.” Amber sighed.“Ya wanna play a round?” Raphael picked up the deck of cards.“Nah.” Amber repositioned herself so she was sitting on her legs.“Wanna... ya wanna play video games?” Raphael offered.“Not really.” She replied.“I got nothin then.” Raphael leaned back on the couch, putting his arms behind his head.Amber scooted closer to Raphael. “You want to spy on mom’s date?” She leaned in.Raphael furrowed his brow at her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea...” he mumbled in thought.“Commooooon, aren’t you a little bit curious?” She whined.“No.” Raph replied, looking away.“Yes you are.” Amber squeezed his arm.“Nope.” He ignored her.“We can keep a distance.” She reasoned.“I said no.” He spoke more firmly.Amber was giving him puppy dog eyes now. “She won’t even know!”“Kid-“ Raphael warned. His patience was wearing thin.“What if he’s a creep?” Amber spoke quietly, worry apparent in her voice.Raphael softened at the sight of Amber expression. That thought worried him too, and it was eating him up. Raph blinked at Amber. Was he really considering this? What was he doing? ‘I’ve lost my damn mind.’ He thought in frustration.Raph heaved a sigh, and stood. “Get yer coat, it’s cold out tonight.” He grumbled.
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“What do you think they are talking about?” Amber asked, leaning over the edge of roof.“Don’t know.” Raph answered absentmindedly, narrowing his eyes to try and see better.The two stinkers perched on top of the apartment complex next to the small café. They had been following you around for the last hour since you left April’s place. You and your date sat at a very intimate table outside the restaurant. The weather was gorgeous tonight, the lights strung up over the tables were romantic, and the flowers that surrounded the patio made the normally stale city air smell sweet. A perfect evening... for spying on a date.Raphael watched as you played with your food, trying to figure out what was going on down there. He noticed how you touched your hair, something he recognized you did when you were nervous. At least you use to... maybe you had changed. Maybe he didn’t know you as well anymore as he thought he did.A slice of pizza entered Raph’s peripheral vision. “Are ya gonna help me eat this?” Amber waved the gooey slice in his face.He cut his eyes to the side, mumbling his reply. “Not hungry.”“Mmhhm.” She gave a doubting hum, taking a bite herself. ——— You shifted in your seat, giving a nervous laugh. “I really like skiing!” You blurted out in response to your date’s story. Your smile faltered for a split second as you mentally kicked yourself for being so awkward.“Yeah.” He chuckled. “ It’s good fun.”Looking down, you took a sip of wine. Why was your throat so dry? “The beeest.” You tried to sound playful, the uncomfortableness was apparent as you poked at the salad in front of you. Maybe this was a bad idea.“How’s your food?” He asked kindly, but to no response. “Hello?” He gave a little wave, cutting through your thoughts.“Oh! I’m so sorry!” You apologized, a flush spreading across your cheeks.“Your food?” He repeated the question with a laugh.“Its great!” you replied with a little smile. “Anything’s better than pizza.” You half mumbled to yourself.“Heh, what?” His voice was lighthearted, but you could hear his confusion.“Oh, nothing.” You made eye contact with him for a moment longer than you should have and then looked away awkwardly in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.” You spoke in defeat.“Don’t be sorry.” He shook his head.“No, I am. I’ve been awful at this. A complete...weirdo, I don’t know.” You nodded your head. “You on the other hand, have been wonderful... Thank you.” You gave him an appreciative look.He smiled and reached out his hand, placing it on your forearm reassuringly. You flinched, the foreign contact sending a strange feeling up your arm. “You are doing much better than you think. Honestly.” He winked. “And quite frankly, its been a while for me since I’ve been on one of these.”“Right!” You giggled, feeling yourself relax. “It’s been so long since I’ve interacted with humans!” You joked, stiffening as you realized what you had said. ‘Shit!’ You yelled in your head, as you tried to think of an explanation. “I mean-“ You gaped.“No need, I get it.” He assured.“You... you do?” You hesitantly questioned.“I don’t get out much either.” He gave you a gracious smile.Blinking at him,you stared as your thoughts caught up. “Uh.. yeah. Yeah, I uh- ...same.” You went back to eating. It was your strategy to keep food in your mouth so you wouldn’t say anything else stupid. This was theoretical, of course. ——— “Mayday! Mayday! He touched her arm!” Amber excitedly hit at Raphael’s shoulder. “Do you see that? We have contact!” She broadcasted in a radio voice.Raph didn’t reply, he just gave the excited teen a judging look. Amber didn’t care though, she continued to lean over the edge as she ate her pizza. She looked at Raph and grinned.“Hey, I’ll voice mom and you voice him.” She watched for a moment until she saw the right time to jump in. “The salad is the bees knees, and I live in the sewer with turtles.” Amber mimicked you voice, matching her words with your mouth.“Don’t be dumb.” Raphael leaned over on his elbows, unamused.Amber ignored his negativity and kept going. “My oh my, you have lovely hair! And your taste in ties are exquisite!”Raphael let a quiet chuckle escape, it actually was pretty funny looking.“And might I add, I love eating beside a street like this! Nothing says ‘bon appetite’ like car exhaust!” She laughed.Man, Raph couldn’t help but laugh. She had her mothers sense of humor that was for sure. “Whatta- uh- whatta nice night.” Raphael joined in, smirking at Amber’s enthusiasm.“You’re small talk is amazing my dear! You must be quite the charmer!” She continued.“Well, prison really helped me come out of my shell.” Raph tried to imitate what he thought your date’s voice would sound like. Which was much higher pitch than what he normally spoke in.“Oh my! Prison! How dreadful!” Amber tried to keep a straight face.“Yes! I stole... shoes, and uh- I kidnapped a baby.” He tried his best to keep up with the teen.Amber shot Raphael a ‘really?’ Look. “Well that’s... horrible. I don’t know if I can date a felon.”“Yeah, it was.” He replied with a chuckle. “But uh, imma changed man now!”Amber laughed at Raphael. “You’re so bad at this.” She teased.“Yeah well... It’s not like I’m an actor or somethin.” Raphael crossed his arms. “Start over again. Ya started it off weird.”“Okay.” Amber glared, clearing her throat. “Well, Mr. date, sir. You look very handsome tonight.”“Thanks, I showered and everythin.” Raph spoke playfully in his normal voice.“Well, That’s pleasant.” Your daughter giggled.“Ya clean up well too.” Raphael replied.“Thank you! I wore my favorite dress tonight.” Amber’s face became more sober as she rested her face on her arms. She watched her mom with a sad look. “I dug it out of the back of my closet, I haven’t worn it since-... it’s been a while...” She spoke softly.“I’m sorry that happened to ya...” Raph matched her tone.“It’s okay, that was a while ago. It’s.. it’s nice to feel special again.” Amber sniffled, feeling sadness for her mother.“Well I think you look...like... like the most beautiful woman on the planet. And yer special ta me.” Raphael breathed out. Amber furrowed her brows and looked at Raphael, but he was still focused on y/n. She didn’t think he was in character anymore yet he continued to speak. “And I gotta be the luckiest son of a bitch to be on a date with ya.” He finished quietly, almost to himself.Amber watched him, his eyes stuck on her mother. A painful look hidden behind his tough demeanor. “So...” She broke the silence. “How long have you been into mom?”“What?” Raphael scoffed. “Yer kidding me?”“Don’t play dumb. Or are you playing?” She quipped.“Don’t be a smartass.” Raphael gave her a pointed look.“I see they way you look at her! I know something is up.” She crossed her arms to look more serious.“Nothin is up.” He grumbled.“Yeah, I’m not buying it.” She poked at his chest with the slice of pizza still in her grip.“Ya don’t have to.” He said straight face, not giving her any information.Amber narrowed her eyes. “Fine.” She gave up interrogating him.Eating at the pizza till she reached the crust, Amber tossed it over the ledge of the building.“What are ya doin that for?” Raphael looked offended by her actions.“I don’t like the crust.” Amber mumbled, grabbing another piece.“What’s wrong with the crust?” He asked, it sounded more like an accusation than a question.“It fills you up before you get all the good parts.” She reasoned. “Less crust, more pepperoni.”“Hm.” Raphael grunted in response. “So...What about ya?”Amber gave him a quizzical look.“Ya have a boyfriend?” He clarified, feeling uncomfortable and wishing he hadn’t even asked.“Oh...” Amber’s mouth was open in surprise at the question. “Uh... well. No.” She bit her lip. “Mom doesn’t really let me go out too much.”Raphael nodded his head, understanding her situation. “Yeah, growing up I didn’t go out much either...well...” he thought about how that wasn’t really true. Raph had always managed to sneak out.It was quite between the two. An awkwardness had settled in the air. Raphael was getting ready to take this party back to the sewers, that is, until Amber spoke up.“There is this guy...” she smiled sheepishly.“A guy?” Raphael smirked, knowing where this was heading.“Yeah.” Amber’s face lit up. “I met him at the skate park one night, the one uncle Mikey takes me to sometimes. He’s really cute! And sweet, and funny! And, and...I think... I think he likes me.” She grinned even bigger.“Have ya told ya mother about this?” Raphael asked.“No...” Her excitement faded. “I don’t know... It’s stupid I guess...” She buried her face in her hands.“It’s not stupid.” Raph frowned. “You’re the coolest kid I know.” He rubbed the top of her head.Amber swatted his hand away. “I’m not a kid! But... thanks.” She smiled. “Do you think mom would freak out? I mean... I’ve kinda been... sneaking out...” She winched.“I think ya don’t give your mom enough credit.” Raphael winked.“Yeah...” Amber thought out loud, taking another glance at you down below.“Can we go now?” Raphael grunted, shifting his eyes away from Amber who was smiling at him affectionately.“Sure.” Amber laughed to herself about how uncomfortable he had become. She gathered her stuff and shoved it in her backpack. “Ya big ol’ teddy bear.” She mumbled.“What’d ya say?” Raphael fake growled.“Nothing!” Amber smirked. “Can I ride on your shell on the way back?”“No.” Raph dismissed.“Pleeeeeaseeeee. I’m tired.” Amber whimpered, giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes.Raphael’s nostrils flared and he let out a sigh. “Fine.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Taking off your heels, you quietly walked into the dark lair. After your dinner date, the two of you had walked around the park. Your date returned you to April’s home, and of course, you were not allowed to leave until you told her all about your evening. So that had you getting home at an unreasonably late time.You made your steps gentle, trying not to wake anyone. Making your way through the living room you glanced towards the opening of the kitchen, the hanging light over the kitchen table was lit. You peeked your head around the doorway to see Raphael sitting at the table, his attention on a notepad he was hunched over. A small smile played at the corner of your lips, remembering how you use to catch him drawing and he would get so embarrassed.You switched to ninja mode, thinking it would be funny to sneak up on him. Silently, you inched your way closer, making your way behind him. You leaned over his shoulder to glance at his work and a small gasp escaped you mouth. Raphael jumped up, surprise and embarrassment plastered on his face.“Y/n! I- ya.. you’re back.” He held the paper close to his chest.You held out your hand, motioning for him to give you the notepad. “Show me.”“I- ...y/n. Please.” He breathed out, his voice begging for you to drop it.“Let me see.” You spoke more firmly, fairly curtain you knew what you saw.Raphael gave a heavy exhale. Looking away as he held out the drawing pad. You grabbed it, your breath hitching in your throat as you looked at the images drawn across the page. Pictures of you, different angles, different poses, all breathtakingly rendered. You flipped through the pages, and your cheeks grew warm when you spotted one picture in particular of you, sheets delicately draped across your naked body.“Raph.” You tried to swallow.“Y/n- I can explain..” He took a step forward, looming over you.“They’re beautiful.” You whispered, looking up at him.Raph searched your eyes for truth, trying to read the situation. His breath sent warm shivers down your spine. Raphael reached his hand up, his fingers barely brushed your cheek. You leaned up on your tiptoes, stopping just before your lips touched his.“Y/n.” He moaned. His deep vibrations sending a tantalizing feeling into the pit of your stomach.You closed the inch between your lips, crashing your mouth into his. An overwhelming need for him making your womanhood ache. He wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you into his body, his other hand cupping the back of your head and pushing your mouth deeper into his. You moaned at the taste of his tongue flicking at yours. You pulled back trying to take a breath before you dove back in. Your body instinctively started to grind against his. He growled into your mouth, working his hips against your body. His hands traveled down your sides, hooking his fingers around your thighs and hiking them up. Your silk dress slid up to your stomach, as your legs wrapped around his torso. You threw your head back, eyes closed as he sucked and nibbled at your neck. His hands roamed up your bare legs, gripping a firm hold of your ass.“Raphael.” You gave a needy whimper as he massaged your buttocks. His mouth devouring your neck.“Raphael?” You heard a different but familiar voice speak back.You opened your eyes, glazed over with lust, and looked at the person grinding against the throbbing between your legs.“Leo.” You breathed out in disbelief, as Raphael’s face morphed into his brothers. Leonardo’s icy blue eyes stared back into yours, hurt and anger displayed on his features.“Raphael?” He questioned. “Really? You, and Raph?” He shook his head, placing you down.“Leo-“ You held your breath, warm tears leaking down the sides of your face.“I can’t believe this!” He rubbed his face, and looked at you with disappointment. “ You know what? I should have known.” He exhaled sharply and turned to leave.“Babe no!” You grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.Leonardo turned around, giving you a dark smile. Your eyes widened as terror took over your vision. His face began to decompose, fire spreading throughout cracks on his body. His arm turned to ashes in your grasp, and you screamed as you stumbled back. Black ash making a thick cloud in the air. You coughed trying to breath, but it felt like your lungs were on fire.“You did this to me!” You heard him let out a blood curdling cry as he disappeared completely into a pile dust.“No!” You shrieked back, sucking in a gulp of cold fresh air as you hit the floor in your bedroom. The sheets, tangled around your legs. You tried to catch your breath, looking frantically in every direction.Nothing.Everything looked normal.You crawled over to the corner of the room, gasping for air as you sobbed. You threw your back against the cold wall, Pulling your legs close to your chest as you hid your face in your knees. You sat there shaking, alone in your bedroom in the dark.Normal...To any stranger these four walls might look like an ordinary bedroom, a place someone would go to rest at night.But for you... it was your hell.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Amber walked swiftly through the tunnels leading up top. Around her neck swung the Polaroid camera uncle Don had gotten her for Christmas. It was Tuesday night, her favorite night of the week. The night she got to go the skatepark. Normally Mikey had to go with her, but Amber just so happen to have a bag full of candy bars to bribe her uncle into letting her have some alone time.After reaching the surface, Amber quickly pulled up the hood on her sweater and made her way to the skatepark. She didn’t even try to hide the skip in her step as she hurried over to the fence. With agile movements, she jumped the chain length fence with ease. A clattering of metal as she landed in a crouch.“I could totally be a ninja.” Amber chuckled to herself. A sense of pride striking in her chest.The young girl faltered for a moment, freezing when she realized her skateboard was still at home.“Crap.” Amber slapped the palm of her hand to her forehead. “Idiot.” She mumbled under her breath.Not that it mattered, she wasn’t here to skateboard, but she really didn’t want to make it that obvious. With a sigh, Amber walked over to the bench and sat down. She breathed in deep, allowing the fresh night air to fill her lungs. Boy, how she loved the fresh air. Amber loved her family, and it was freakin sick living in the sewers, but every now and then she yearned to be touched by the sky.Amber smiled contently, pointing her camera up at the night sky. “Click.” She spoke, mimicking the sound it made. There was no way that her camera would be able to take a photo in this lighting, but she wanted to anyways. Even if just for her memory.She jumped as a pair of warm hands covered her eyes. “Guess who?” The smooth voice spoke behind her.“Santa Clause.” She smirked.“How’d you know?” He laughed, putting his hands down.Amber leaned her head back to look up at the attractive young man standing above her. “Do I get a present then?” She teased.“No, but you can have this.” He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.Amber’s eyes widened as her cheeks lit on fire. “Shon!“ She gawked, hoping that her green skin helped conceal the red she was sure had covered her face.Planting himself beside her on the bench, Shon smiled at Amber adoringly. Shit, was she cute when she was flustered.“Sky’s pretty tonight.” He commented, rubbing his fingers through his raven hair.“Yeah.” She muttered, trying to calm her speeding heart. He had never done that before... Amber gave him a side glance, and quickly looked away when he caught her staring.“You look nice tonight.” He smiled.“Shut up... No I don’t.” She looked at her lap. “I’m in a hoodie.” She mumbled.“Yeah well, I like hoodies.” He smiled. “Besides... you make it look good.” He gave her a sly wink.“Staaaaaaawp.” Amber blushed once more, unable to hide her shy smile.That was the reaction he wanted. “It’s kinda cold tonight, yeah? Shon questioned, noticing the slight shiver she tried to hide.“Mhm.” Amber replied with a little nod.The boy nonchalantly put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in closer to him. “Better?” He cleared his throat, not looking at her.Amber looked at him with a curious expression, but Shon continued to look everywhere but her. She bit her bottom lip, trying to hide her giddy smile.“Yeah.” Amber replied quietly, leaning into him.
———
“Awwwwwwwww, It’s so cute!” Mikey swooned, watching your daughter from the building rooftop across from the skatepark.“Why the hell we up here again?” Raphael grumbled from behind.“Watching Baby Sweetcheeks.” Mike answered, plopping himself in a camping chair.“Didn’t ya make a deal to give her privacy?” Raph questioned, looking over the ledge to see what was going on below.“Dude. I’m not an idiot.” Mikey pulled out the bag of candy bars Amber had given him. “It’s dangerous out there, ain’t no way I’m leaving my angle to the wolves.” He opened a chocolate, and shoved the whole bar in his mouth. “ ‘sides, free candy!” He cheered with his mouth full.“And why am I here?” Raph leaned against the edge, crossing his arms.“ I didn’t want to sit up here alone!” Mikey answered with a pout. “Want one?” He offered the bag.“Nah.” Raphael dismissed his brothers offering. “The kid kinda looks familiar though... right?” Raph squinted his eyes trying to get a better look.“Eh, I guess. There’s so many kids in New York though. It’s so dark, how can you even tell?” Michelangelo shoved the sixth candy bar in his mouth, not paying much attention to his brother.“Guess yer right...” Raph muttered, sitting down beside his brother. “Ya could’ve at least brought me a chair.” He complained.“Could’ve.” Mikey laughed.“Yer still as annoying as ever.” Raphael rolled his eyes.“And you are charming as always.” Mikey smirked.“Heh, I missed ya... moron.” Raph let out a low chuckle.“You too, bro.” Mikey grinned, slapping the back of his brothers shell. “Y/n is as beautiful as ever too, wouldn’t ya agree?” Michelangelo shot Raph a knowing smile.“W-What?” Raphael stuttered, thrown of by the sudden change of subject.“I knew it.” Mikey beamed, victorious.“Knew what!?” Raphael huffed in annoyance.“Don’t play coy. You’re reaction is evidence enough!” Michelangelo shook his head at the dumb look on Raph’s face.“I-I- ...SHUT UP, SHELL FOR BRAINS!”
———
“Ya know...” Shon cut through the comfortable silence that had fallen.“Yeah?” Amber looked up at him with sparkling eyes.“Wow. You’re so beautiful. Ya know that?” He looked at her blushing reaction and smiled.“Quit it, or I’ll have to teach you a lesson.” Amber poked at his side.“Feisty as ever.” Shon chuckled, wrapping his other arm around her. “My mom would have loved you.”“Really?” She looked at him, noticing his sad expression at the mention of his mother. “I wish I could have met her... She sounded like a really cool lady.”“She is.” Was his quiet reply. A spark lit in his eyes and he looked at Amber expectantly.Amber looked at him puzzled. “....wwhaaat?” She asked, leaning back slightly.“Want to go meet her?” He questioned mischievously.“But I thought-“ She looked at his hopeful face, not having the heart to disappoint him. Why did he have to be so cute? “O-okay.”Shon smiled brightly and hopped up, dragging Amber up with a yelp. “Common!” He laughed.“Right..right now?!” She questioned, surprise evident on her face.Shon shot her a smirk. “Yeah, I go all the time. It will be okay.” He assured her.
———
“Dude! I didn’t mean it! I swear!” Mikey held his hands over his face to protect him from his brother’s rage.“SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YA!” Raphael held him by the shoulder, fist ready to strike.“Nah man! I’m okay!” Michelangelo whimpered.“That’s what I thought.” Raph released him, and Mikey landed on the ground with a loud thud.“Ouuuuch!” Mikey rubbed his butt. “Ya didn’t have to get so sensitive.” He groaned.Raphael just snickered at his brother and leaned back over the edge of the building. His good mood instantly vanishing when he looked down.“Uuuh... Mikey...” Raphael spoked slowly.“What.” Michelangelo pouted, picking back up the camping chair that had been knocked over.“Amber...” Raph spoke, feeling the panic start to come.“What about her?” Mikey questioned.“She’s gone!” Raphael looked back at his brother.“WHAT!?” The panicky turtle ran to the edge, practically throwing himself over to look.“She’s not there anymore!” Raphael confirmed.“SHIT! Y/N IS GOING TO KILL ME!” Mikey grabbed the sides of his head and sunk down to the ground.“Some uncle you are.” Raphael shook his head.“I’m so fired...” Mikey breathed out.