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“Such a pleasant surprise! I didn't know you're back In town!?”, he exclaims when he opens the door to Øyvind's house and he sees Calle standing there.“I came two days ago, but have been hanging out with my family”, Calle says, turning towards him with a big smile. “I'm sorry I couldn't find time to tell you I was back.”Almost two years have passed since he left and moved up to Nordland. He had to do it because it was his big dream and the day when they hugged each other on the train station was a bittersweet afternoon. He wanted Calle's best and wanted him to be happy, of course he did! But he also wanted to be happy himself and he was really happy when he could be together with Calle…They hugged each other for the last time as boyfriends and left in Bergen was he, now single, even though he still loved Calle and Calle still loved him. But it was a decision they took together after many, many long discussions. Both parts realised that that was the only thing they could do. They didn't know for how long Calle would stay up there, they were still so young and didn't know that would happen in their lives.“Strange how two years down the line feels like you’ve always been around.”, he says and it surprises himself when he realises that that's actually not a lie. The first month had been tough and had followed with a lot of crying. He cried himself to sleep every night after he had talked to Calle over the phone, both of them had asked themselves if they really had made the right decision? But life went on, and it had become fine as his brother had told him it would. And now, two years later it really feels like time has been flying away - it almost feels like yesterday was the day he left. Of course, he thought about Calle from day to day, but he understood his decision. Sjøforsvaret was what he had dreamt about for a long time and they had gone over to be best friends without any responsibilities or promises towards one another.Calle laughs a bit and asks, “Is that a positive thing? Or should I be offended that you didn't miss me?”, and he just responds with a laugh back when he can't find anything clever to say.Now Calle's back, back in beautiful Bergen! Øyvind hadn't told him Calle was back when he invited him to his house party, so it is a bit of a shock, but he can’t deny that he’s more than happy about seeing him again. You have this effect on me and this is the last thing I need, he thinks for a second when he's just standing there and taking in that Calle actually is there, in real person.“We’re better than this, let's skip the small talk! I cannot not say that you're still as handsome as before I left.”, Calle says and gives him a new smile, still a beautiful smile but with an undertone of sadness.“You too.”, he smiles, almost tearing up when he thinks about how they had it before Calle moved away. “God, I've missed you… Can we hug each other?”, he feels he has to ask, doesn't really dare to just approach him like that, but Calle nods and opens his arms from him. “Damn you for still being so cute.”, he suddenly giggles into Calle's hair and before he knows what happens Calle has placed his lips onto his. It shocks him a bit, but still, they keep kissing each other even though they feel all the eyes pairs staring at them.“I wasn't gonna kiss you but then you turn up in this suit…”, Calle says and looks a bit embarrassed for what he just did. “White shirt and navy blue suit, anything special you're celebrating?”“I’m single, I have to be well dressed”, he winks, “But the main reason is that we were celebrating Bjarte’s birthday before I came.”“Send him congrats from me!”They both are two years older but Calle has really grown up - has become a man. Calle is wearing black jeans and a casual shirt that fits perfectly, he's so handsome, sexy and cute at the same time. He has missed him so much, he still likes him so very much! He does his best to play cool, but it’s almost impossible because just being around him drives him nuts. It wasn't meant to be like this, they were one time boyfriends, but they decided it was best to go separate ways. And now they're standing here, have just been making out in front of all their old friends.After some more of something that could be called small talk and ‘what have you been doing these two years?’-questions they moved outside to the balcony. Calle wanted a smoke and he just wanted to be in his presence. So now they’re standing here with their arms around each other, Calle’s rocking him easily from side to side.“I just hate you right now.”, he whispers into the blonder one's ears, even though they are alone out there, “Hate you for still making me feel this way...”, he sighs. Calle hugs him tighter and lets out a soft laughter, “But I love you for how you are making me feel.” Then he brushes away some hair from his forehead so he can look into his eyes before he kisses him tenderly.“Are you going to stay now?”, he asks, even though he only want to hear the answer if the answer is ‘yes’... But Calle doesn't answer, instead, he just kisses him again and he chooses to push that question away, push that question into the back of his mind. Doesn’t want to think about it because most certainly that kiss was a substitute for a ‘no’.---“I really shouldn't have more wine, it feels like I’m already out of line.”, he laughs when Øyvind re-enters the living room with some more bottles of wine and a bottle of aquavit. It has gotten kind of late and now the one who’s left are they from the ‘old days’. Both the Ylvisåker-brothers, Calle, Øyvind, even Anders is there.“Maybe one more glass for old times’ sake?”, Calle smirks at him which makes him laugh. “It’s somehow the same each time, we’re such troubled you and I…”, he continues with a mix of sadness and amusement.“I know, this won’t be the best idea tomorrow, but right now I just feel like appreciating that you're back.”, he side-hugs Calle and holds his glass towards Øyvind so he can serve him some more liquid.“You are not going back, that was what you swore…?”, his brother asks a bit concerned, probably having the long sessions of listening to a lovesick brother in mind.“Should we try again? Maybe just once more?”, Calle looks at him and he nods even though it makes him a bit scared.“Try long distance relationship, works perfectly for me and Hanne.”, Anders smiles at them but gets a nudge in the side from Øyvind.“Long distance...? You live in Oslo and she lives in Lillehammer, that's approximately 180 kilometres (≈111 miles), not like Bergen - Narvik with 1680 kilometres (≈1044 miles).”“I know it’s pretty much a difference when it comes to the distance, but I’m just trying to be encouraging.”, he answers Øyvind before he turns more towards him and Calle, “I mean you still really seem to like each other, you should give it a go!”---The next morning he wakes up in his own bed like he normally does, but what’s different this morning is that he’s cuddled up to Calle. Calle is sleeping with his mouth half opened and it looks like he has been drooling in his sleep, but it’s still the most wonderful sigh he has woken up to in many years.“Good morning lovely”, the older guy smiles at him when he after half an hour or so wakes up and their eyes meet. “Been awake a long time? You should have woken me up.”, he says before he gently starts to kiss him down the neck and down his naked chest.“Being awake and looking at you didn’t bother me.”, he smiles and moans a bit when Calle’s lips travel over his nipples, making his body shiver in pleasure. “How long are you going to stay?”, he asks but the words make Calle stop and it makes him regret his words, stupid to bring it up now! But he just wants to know how long he is allowed to have Calle here, have him close before he has to leave again…“Oh, damn… what’s the time?”, Calle asks, bolting up and finding his alarm clock on his bedside table. “Damn you, you made me miss my train-”, he says but then he starts to laugh. “I should be on the train back to Oslo right now to be able to catch the aeroplane back to Narvik, but right now I feel like changing my mind.”, he continues and lays down again. Calle lays down, puts his arm around him and drags him closer. “I hate the fact it feels so right and that you feel the same because that leads to only one option and that is you and me staying together forever.”---They’d said their ‘I Do’ and they’d shared the best kiss ever. They’ve shared a many thousands kisses, they’ve been together for almost 25 years by now so that’s a natural thing - but what makes is special is that every new kiss they give each other is better than the one before. ‘The one before’ because ‘the last one’ is terms that hurt to use. From that special morning many years ago now, nothing of what they do together should be ‘the last’. The love grows bigger for each day and their lives depend on each other more and more.“Forever, that’s what I said, wasn’t it?”, Calle whispers into his ear when they sit tight together in the kingsize bed, sipping on their champagne.“Yeah, you did.”, he smiles. “You did and it became true!”“The only question is why did we make it so complicated when we were young? Three breakups like that.”“Of 25 years together with you, and I’ve been missing you in seven... Seven too many!”, he answers and starts to think about those three times. He living in both Angola and then Mozambique, oh, how much he had hated those places! And his father for forcing the whole family out of Norway, and his mother for not allowing him to instead live with Calle and his family. That was two breakups - of course, they did hurt a lot, but the last one (the breakup is the only thing that should be ‘the last’) hurt the most. He was nineteen and Calle had become his whole universe! “No more missing each other!”, he says firmly, nuzzling in closer.“No more missing and this ring proves that.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Calle is sitting in his room at the Concord office with Bård’s iPhone in his hand, trying to guess the code to unlock it. They had always had the code or the opportunity to unlock it with one’s fingerprint, but three weeks ago Bård had stopped Calle’s opportunity to do that. Calle asked why and Bård had answered, “Sometimes you want some privacy, even when it comes to your phone.” Calle hadn’t understood what that meant, but in return, he did the same with his own. 1982, he tries but it’s not working. What about 0321? - not that either. 1979 - no… Ok, he has to be more creative. He tries to recall when Maja can be born. Or is it just a random number? His own name, 2273? -No .
“Is it so hard to love me?” *
Bård had been so nervous and strange, not at all as he usually is. At first, Calle had thought that Bård maybe was about to go into one of those destructive moments again. He had followed each step he took, and he had been standing outside toilet doors to listen so Bård wasn’t in there, crying and cutting himself again. But that seemed not to be the case, he seemed to be happy but also a bit distressed. So here Calle is, trying to crack the code to his boyfriend's iPhone to search for information that could confirm his big fear. Confirm that Bård has met someone else, behind his back.
“From the way you're acting now it must be”
Calle had asked Vegard, of course carefully and without being too obvious, but Vegard had just dismissed it. Told him that Bård never would do that to him, to anyone. Bård knows how it feels when someone lets you down and break your heart. The problem is that he had heard Bård talking in his phone and those words had stuck in his head, “It should be so nice when this is over.” Calle also knew, knew that Bård knew how it felt, and that was the thing that made it hurt most of all. He knew how it felt, but he did it to him anyway. To the person who had lifted him up from that dark hole his ex had left him in.
“But I'm still the same”
Vegard opens the door and looks in and as fast as he can, Calle puts the phone under some papers on the desk. Vegard walks in and asks how he’s doing. “Bård said to me, to tell you to come to Dinner Restaurant, at Stortingsgaten 22, 19.00 today.”“Know what it was about?”, he asks, to read Vegard’s face, even though Calle is pretty sure he knows what it has to be. So brave of you, send your brother.“Just know it was important.”
“I haven't changed”
“Noble of him, tell him that. Send you to tell me this... Føkk him... This is also kind of your fault too, do you know how much I’ve helped him? And now you’re-”, he has to turn away when feeling his eyes tear up. “Just go.”, he says with his back towards Vegard who asks what happened, but then leaving when Calle’s not answering. Calle leaves his room, he needs to get air, has to smoke. He takes the phone, tries 1234, 2580, but it doesn’t work, so he clicks 0000 until the screen locks itself and he puts it into his pocket.
“I can't face losing you now”
---He steps into the restaurant, an expensive one, with a Michelin-star. He sees Bård, at a table in a really good fitting suit. He’s so good looking, and it hurt so bad that he now is going to lose him. He walks up to him, Bård smiles to him, a smile he can’t read.“Hi darling!”, he says when he hugs him and then looks him into his eyes. “You’ve been crying? What happened?”“Hi, Bård. No.”, he answers with a blank face and when he hugs him back he does it quite awkward. It’s a lie, he has been crying the whole day since Vegard entered his room and told him to meet Bård at the restaurant. He had seen this coming, but not like this, not today. Give me some time, I can change myself.They sit down at the table, and the food comes in. The food seems to be expensive as fuck, but none of them can't really focus on it. Calle sees how nervous Bård is, his hands are shaking when he holds the cutlery and the only thing Calle can focus on is Bård and every move he does. Tries to prepare himself for the point when he is going to get his heart smashed into pieces.The waitress takes their plates and Bård rises up from his chair. Oh fine, you’re not just going to say it, you’re going to do it, literally leave me. Calle closes his eyes, doesn’t dare to look at his beloved Bård, knows it will make him cry.“Say it, just say it.”, Calle says, but when he opens his eyes again, Bård is gone. With confused eyes, he searches for him and finds him on his knees beside him.“C- Ca- Calle-”, Bård eventually manages to get out from his mouth. Calle is confused, and Bård seems to be the same when he looks around and hisses “Hey, you should come now!”, and then a moment of complete silent passes before the door into the kitchen opens. Vegard, Hafsmo, Bjarte, Magnus, Rafto, Hoff, Christian and their partners enter the restaurant, make a circle around Bård and Calle’s table and start to sing and play I Came To Love You. “When you’re away ** I try to focus on things I need to do” Maybe Calle is one of the slowest in the world, but it’s now he realises that Bård is probably going to propose to him. Bård is standing on his knees, shaking and with more and more desperate moves, searching for something in his pockets. “And I’m scared of falling falling hard without you” “Bård, I said the inside pocket!”, he hears Vegard behind him. “But then I see your smile And suddenly I feel stronger, I feel proud” He watches Bård when he stands up again to search in the right pocket and then he seems to relax when he finds what he was looking for. “You got my heart Baby, I know this time it’s true So I came to love you And that’s what I’m gonna do”Calle feels how he is about to cry again, but now because of a good reason. And now he finds Bård’s nervousness sweet and not annoying, now when he knows the source of it. “When we’re apart I walk around all day with your name in my heart And I can’t stop dreamin’ the sweetest dreams about you”Bård is standing in front of him, now singing, smiling, when the song goes to an end. “And I just hope that deep in your heart you’ll feel it too ‘cause I came to love you And that’s what I’m gonna do
Did you know I was born to love you
And that’s what I’m gonna do
Yeah you know I love to love you
And that’s what I’m gonna do”
Bård knees down again, his hands are still shaking when he holds a ring box between his hands.“Calle. Or… Carl Fredrik…”, Bård has to take a deep breath before he can continue, and Calle feels for him and his nervousness. “Calle Hellevang-Larsen. We were friends until we become something more than friends. You came into my life, in a time when I hated myself. You came to me, shared your love, warmth and sweetness.”, he takes a new deep breath. “You came with your love and saved me. You saved my life. I just took, and you gave and gave, never asked for something in return. But to manifest how much I love you, and to tell you how important you are for me - I want to ask you, Carl-Fredrik Hellevang-Larsen, will you marry me?”, he opens the box.“OF COURSE! Of course, I want to marry you!”, he has to raise from the chair and before Bård can react, he’s in Calle’s arms, and Calle presses his lips against Bård’s. The kiss doesn’t last so long, because Bård has to break free to breathe, obviously out of breath because of the nervousness. Then their lips meet again, and this time it feels like forever, but still too short.“The Champagne?!”, Bård turns around and looks at Vegard. “It was supposed to-”“I check it, just relax Bård.”, he answers and disappears through the door they came from.“Wait! And the ring…?!”, Bård looks around again with panic in his eyes until Øyvind points at the table.“Your hand.”, he looks into Calle’s eyes when he slowly and carefully takes Calle’s hand. He can't do anything else than to smile and wipe away a tear of joy from his own cheek with his free hand. “I’m so sorry for this-”, he begins and Calle’s heart stops for a second, this whole thing was a prank... But he hears Bård continue, “I planned this in two months, I had a plan for this night, to be the perfect proposal. I had planned this minute by minute, but I lost my phone this morning… And everything became a mess… But just so you know, it wasn’t supposed to be like this and I should be in control because I really had the perfect plan...”, he says, talking really fast.Calle feels the bad conscience, number one he sees how disappointed Bård’s face looks, two for kind of destroying what he had planned for such a long time, and number three, for even a second believe that Bård could deceive him with another when he just was nervous for this moment. “I have to confess one thing…”, he looks down at the floor a second before he can meet his glance. “I took your phone, it’s lying on your bed now.”“But why?”“I was jealous… I wanted to go through all your pictures and text messages, but I couldn't unlock it so I never handled it back…”“Zero, eight, eighteen, your birthday.”, he says and smiles. Bård turns around and asks again about champagne before he says to Calle “This is kinda your fault, if you hadn’t taken my phone, then you had got the champagne one second after you said ’ yes ’, but-”, he stops when the doors open and Vegard steps out.“They thought you wanted it in sync with the cake, but both are coming in a second.”“But that was the old plan! Vegard, this was supposed to be perfect!”, he looks so sad and disappointed that Calle has to embrace him again as a small I'm sorry.“Maybe it isn’t exactly as we planned but Calle is going to be your husband and that's the important thing, right?”, Vegard tries before the door opens again and a waiter and the waitress from before come out. Bård gets the first glass of champagne and handles it directly over to Calle.“To my future husband!”, Bård smiles to him, now more than happy again. “Everybody, you can sit down now.”, Bård says when everyone got champagne and cake and takes his seat on the opposite side of the table and looks at Calle with his big blue eyes. Calle looks at him and can’t understand how he’s only fifth, on the Most handsome man in Norway-list, in Calle’s eyes he’s number one - in the entire world. He really fits in that suit. He should always wear dark blue. Calle looks down on his own clothes, black jeans and a normal shirt, fortune not too creased.“Sorry for this-”, he says and nods to what he wears. “I thought I should come here and you should tell me that you had found someone new and that everything was over… You have been so different the last weeks... Sorry, I'm not dressed up as smart as you are.”“You…”, he begins and raises up to gives him a hug and stroke his cheek. “That’s why you cried… I’m so sorry, I just wanted this to be the biggest surprise…”, he looks deeply into his eyes. “I was just so nervous… Forgive me for hurting you.”“It was a real surprise, and of course I forgive you - you really compensated it with all this.”, he says and lets his glance wander around in the restaurant, and end at his hand. Bård hugs him again before he sits down on his side and places his hands upon Calle’s.“Never ever could I love someone else when I have you, never ever! I would never do that, would impossible for me! Because if you had did that to me, I would break into a thousand pieces. And if you had done that during our first year, I had taken my life, and you know that’s not only a thing I say, I really had...”, Calle knows it’s true because Bård had really been at the bottom. “But let’s focus on the happy things, YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH THAT YOU WANT TO MARRY ME!”“Yes I do, and you love me so much that you wanted to propose to me!”Then they just look at each other for a while, Calle feels he can’t get enough of the person he has in front of him. He wonders how he even could for a second think that Bård might have started to date or flirt with someone behind his back. Bård would never do that to him, and Calle would never, ever do that to Bård. They could never harm each other like that.“VEGARD!”, Bård turns his head towards the table where Vegard and Helene are sitting, “VEGARD, I’M GONNA GET MARRIED!”, he screams with the biggest smile Calle ever has seen, a smile that makes his heart boil over with love. Bård is so excited that he almost claps his hands, “GET MARRIED, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!? SOMEONE LOVES ME FOR REAL, AND HE WAS FØKKING WRONG - BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GET MARRIED WITH CALLE!”, and now he’s clapping his hands like a kid.“I know”, Vegard leaves his seat to give his brother a big hug, “I know, I know, and I’m so happy for you!”, then he turns towards Calle. “I have to hug you too, congratulations!”, he says with as smile almost as big as his middle brother. “You know, you saved him? And I’m going to be in indebted to you forever for that, and I hope you take advantage of it because I don’t know how to say thank you enough.”---
* Tone Damli - Can’t Face Losing You
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-yo9sbqptY )
** Alexander Rybak - I Came To Love You
( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5f-nO_cOPs )