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The blonde looked out of the window from where he was seated. Looking at his hand, narrowing his eyes at it. Frustration was roaring to rupture from within him. Mixed feeling dwelled within him. Jackson’s hands shook with uncontrolled tremors, he balled them into fists. Feeling the stinginess in his eyes; however, it was too late. Nothing could change the cards that fate had played, he roughly rubbed the tears that were blurring his vision. What should he say to his bandmates? That he failed them! They already hatedhim as it is, now he has to be a burden to them?!
His eyes went back to the window once again, wincing at the words that was ringing in ears. Every time he looked back on that fateful day, the harsh words ripped his soul apart. The words that keeps on destroying and crushing him, “I’m really sorry to say this, but unfortunately you are-”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jackson felt his body break down from his packed schedule, alternating between his solo and team projects. His eyes roamed over the dark room, he was finally back after being months away in China, working on his solo, so imagine his surprise when he came back to an empty apartment yesterday. They might have not known he pathetically mused, but he knew the truth at the back of his head.He wonders when did a drift appear between him and his members, it was not that clear at the beginning. The blonde covered his eyes at the harsh rays escaping the parted curtains.He patted the area beside his pillow, searching for the object that was never silent nowadays. Finally, his hand came in contact with the cold object, his phone dinged to life as soon it was switched on.For once, work wasn’t calling him in. He sighed at the blissful peaceful morning. He blinked tiredly as he shifted and cocooned himself with the blanket. His eyes slowly shut softly, as the room was still and quiet; he couldn’t hear the other members wrecking a havoc in their apartment, which was quite weird, but he was so sleep deprived that he didn’t notice a storm banging through his room.Bambam entered the room, slamming the door wide open, making the tired boy groan with tiredness, he was so sleep deprived that it actually hurts.“Hyuuuuung!!!”The maknae shouted and jumped on Jackson who was cocooned protecting himself from the outside world.“OUFFF” The blonde grunted in pain, BamBam slid off once he heard a familiar yet an unexpected voice. He ripped off the blanket of the Chinese member. His face morphed into confusion as Jackson stole back the soft material.“Did you have to wake me up like that, Bam-ah?!” Jackson grumbled in annoyance, catching the younger in a headlock.“W-Wait Jackson-hyung, I didn’t know you were here? Seriously when did you even come back?!”Jackson loosened his hold on the Thai member that slouched against his chest, wheezing for air.“In my defense, you were sleeping in Jaebum-hyung’s bed! Ooooh, Imma tell him.”Bam broke free from Jackson’s arms and sat at the edge of the bed.“So, you were planning to jump on JB while he was sleeping, you looking for a death wish?”“Pssh, what can that grandpa do?”Jackson rose his eyebrow at the cheeky attitude, and pinched the cheek that lost all of the baby fat. “Yeah, well, don’t let him hear you say that.”There goes his sleeping in plans on his only holiday.“So, when did you come back?” Bam asked curiously.“Last night, you guys were not here when I came.”The maknae’s eyes gleamed with recognition, “Ooooh, yeah we were out eating, it was really delicious.”“Yeah, what did you eat?” Jackson sighed as he went and changed out of his pajama. There was no way that he’d get a drop of sleep now that he is wide awake.“Sushi!”Oh, he blinked, his hands slowly stopped moving, he looked back at Bambam, “Was it for work?”“Huh, nah! It was just a fun time out. We didn't eat out together for a while now”“But-” Jackson bit his tongue. 'You guys are always together, does it have to be on the day I finally come back?!' If he said that he that would be painfully pathetic. He wouldn’t like if the younger pitied him. Pity was the last thing he needs.“But what?” The maknae rose an eyebrow.“Nah, nothing.” The blonde chuckled as he felt the awkwardness in the air. Bambam was looking for anything, a sign to leave the room, so when Yugyeom barged in calling for Bambam. The tense air bled along with the appearance of the youngest member of the group.“OH, Jackson-hyung, your back?!”The real maknae fist bumped the older who simply rolled his eyes at the maknae’s antics.“Came back yesterday,” He supplied before Yugyeom can ask him for more questions. Yugyeom didn’t waste any moments before pulling Bambam on his feet and rushed out the room.Shouting, “BREAKFAST IS READY!” behind is shoulder and rushed to where god has planned for them........ All the members gathered around the dining table, it was always an unspoken promise between the members that they will always eat their meals together which Jackson shamelessly broke every single time. Jackson sat between Jaebum and Jinyoung, humming softly to himself ignoring their shocked expressions. The merry mood the group was in demised by his presence, so he had to fix the problem right away, and that is by being a happy virus; even if he was not in the mood to be happy. Fake it.“Came back yesterday~” He sang out as he scooped a large portion of the rice to his plate. The blonde placed the spoon that had currently a tower of rice in his mouth. He chewed happily, devouring his food with mouthful bites. He hummed loudly as the food melted on his tongue.The hesitant atmosphere dispersed at the silly moaning Jackson made, even earning a few giggles from Youngjae and Bambam.“EWWWWW!” Yugyeom screeched and flung paper towels at the Chinese member.Mark snickered at his dongsaeng face, Jackson always had to be expressive and exaggerative. While Jinyoung had, a small satisfied smile drawn on his face. “Missed you man!” The American slapped a hand on Jackson’s back. It stung, but Jackson still maintained the silly smile.“Happy to be back!” He spoke with his mouth full with food, Jinyoung made the disapproving, scolding face. “Jackson, don’t speak while there is food in your mouth!”Everybody laughed at Jackson as he was admonished by the self-proclaimed most ‘normal’ member of the group, but the frown on Jinyoung’s face slipped into a small smile.The thought of his cooking being digested happily made Jinyoung happy.…..The day was spent together, lazing around with members. Jackson rested on smiling and hearing them chat their souls out. He was soon forgotten as the group started talking about their activities in Japan. He felt left out through the course their conversation took, they never once mention an activity that included him too.Still, it was plausible, because the events that had taken them was still fresh and memories were still vivid, so why’d they choose a memory that happened around a year ago. The day went on painfully slow, if he showed any discomfort, then nobody noticed. Soon enough dinner time trickled in, and once again they gathered around the dining table. They ordered a take out, none of them was in the mood for cooking so they rested on ordering chicken.The minute they finished eating, JB announced that it was time to hit the beds. Plus, they had an early schedule tomorrow.The members retreated to their respected rooms, sharing goodnights and shoulder pats. Except for Jackson, he had other plans, and that is to visit the bathroom. He lazily stepped into the bathroom. Heading towards the sink to wash his face. A smile bloomed on his face as his countenance was reflected on the mirror.“OOOOOH! Ain’t I a handsome fellow?!” His smile cracked, he traced a finger under his eyes, the dark circles were really bad. They looked like bruises, a hint of purple in them, his sclera was adorned with blood vessels. “I’m tired,” He mumbled out, he didn’t really have to act in front of the mirror, it was just him.Another lie popped out of his parted lips, “I really had fun today~” No, he didn’t. Why was he voicing out what he really wants to feel? Happiness was such a far-fetched fantasy.“But, at least they don’t completely hate me.” Jackson mumbled as he reached for the door knob, A wave of dizziness washed over his body, he felt a flash of scorching heat burning his insides, clutching his chest tightly as he gasped for air, but nothing seems to ease the painHe placed a shaking hand on his head. Trying to regain his balance through the wreckage of a nonstop headache. Black spots hovered over his vision. Everything hurts, he didn’t know how to stop the pain; it was unbearable. Soon, it all vanished away, leaving him only with fatigue.“What…what the hell was that?” Jackson shook his head, shooting away the last bit off his dizziness. It was the first time he felt like that. Jackson looked at his own reflection, the color of his face was drained. He sighed and left the bathroom with a heavy heart and shaky steps.Jackson entered his room, looking at Jaebum’s sleeping figure. Sighing at his own dilemma,
‘Maybe, I’ll hit the hospital tomorrow.’
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Brown eyes fluttered open as the noise and shouts of uncontrolled energetic members wrecked the dorm at 9:00 am.Jackson took a quick look at the clock, his head hitting back the pillow.
‘I can make it to the hospital if I go now.’
The blonde covered himself with layers of clothes, cocooning himself in the haven of warmth. He was nauseous, stomach flipping at the notion of a hospital visit. It’s just a normal, harmless checkup Jackson reminded himself.As he left the room he heard the members shouting and screaming that their schedule got cancelled. They were having a small party in the kitchen. No wonder they were having a celebration. Jackson popped his head in the kitchen, all the members were eating and chatting.Youngjae looked up and spotted his Chinese hyung, “Morning, Jackson-hyung!!!”There was no mistake that Youngjae is their lead vocalist, the members noticed Jackson from Youngjae’s sudden outburst.They greeted and smiled at him, some of the members tackled him to the ground. In which a natural genuine smile found its place on Jackson’s face. Jackson slapped the back of the giant maknae’s head, “You are heavy,” He grunted.Yugyeom giggled with an energy that Jackson can’t seem to find within him.Jinyoung took a note of Jackson’s get up. Raising a brow at his friend, “Where are you heading?”The blonde smiled softly at his dongsaeng. “A morning walk.” His smile was fake; however, it went unnoticed by his members. Jinyoung just nodded to him. As he turned his back to them and headed out the apartment, he heard Bambam and Yugyeom shouting together “Have fun!”‘Have fun they said.’ He internally sighed, his body was twitching with nervous energy, it is better to get done with it. What is the worst thing they’d do, ring him with an IV, bah been there, done that.With hurried steps, he dashed towards the hospital. Jackson crossed the streets, waited at the stops and hopped on the bus. The scenery changed as he went on his journey. However, that didn’t even grab his attention, normally he would be staring at the changing scenery, or even taking pictures. He just hated going to the hospital, the smell of the disinfectants was just so nauesiating, they always have to take those extra tests where the doctor won’t even tell you why.As he stood in front of the entrance of the hospital, worry gnawed in his stomach.“let’s just get this thing over quickly!” he mumbled to himself.Jackson gathered all of his courage and entered the lobby. The blonde waited in the waiting room for his turn. Perking up at every name that was being announced. Jackson clasped his hands, wishing that his turn would never show up. However, fate doesn’t play according to one’s will. And there, all of his praying went down hill.“Patient number 53, Jackson Wang.”The blonde heaved a heavy sigh, he was directed to follow the nurse so they can have quick check up, noting the vitals, and going over the basic questions. He felt his body stiffen when he observed the solemn yet confused look on the nurse’s façade. She stood up and smiled softly at the blonde, “Please wait for the doctor, he will come in a moment.”The chinese slouched in his seat, sighing audibly. His leg jerking in a way that annoyed Jinyoung. He’d always get angry at him and command him to stay still.The doctor’s voice pulled him out of his never ending bubble of thoughts .Jackson stood up to greet the black-haired doctor. The doctor went with the name Yo Seokjin. The kind smile never left his face.“So, what brings you here young man?’ the doctor asked gently. The blonde twiddled his fingers hesitantly and looked at the doctor.“Uh… well you see. I have been tired for a while, feeling sluggish whenever I attend my work which is quite normal as I don’t really sleep enough.” The doctor encouraged the young patient to speak. So, Jackson continued, “Even when I wake up or sleep early, it never felt that I have rested enough.” Seokjin adjusted his glasses, and looked at the report.He hummed as he looked over the numbers on the paper, observing every section of each category, until an area caught his attention. Narrowing eyes as he looked at the report.“I’ll run some tests on you for now,” he ticked on a paper and handed it to the nurse. She ushered him out of the room, leading him to an isolated room. She wore the same kind smile as she strated drawing blood. “The doctor will see you after the results come out,”…Jackson found himself back at the white, dull room that the doctor sat in. Sheesh, like seriously couldn’t they uplift the patients moods by brighter colors. “Welcome back,” the Doctor’s warm smile made it a little better as he looked upon the test results. His welcoming façade turned sour as he confirmed his doubts.The doctor looked up at his blonde patient, “Do…” he paused a little, drawing dread in Jackson’s gut. He cleared his throat, “Do you feel any kind of dizziness or even slight headache?”Jackson looked confused, 'Was it really that bad?' Dark thoughts started clouding his vision. “Uhhh...Yeah? I always had this light headache. Though, its temporary. Comes and goes.” Jackson started and he scratched his neck, “However, the dizziness was a first and my chest constricted rather painfully yesterday.”Seokjin sighed heavily and had a grim expression.“I’m really sorry to say this, but I need to inform you that you are diagnosed with a disease called Heart rot.”“Heart what now?” Jackson blurted accidently, “That doesn’t sound like a fun disease doc,” It has rot in its name fo god’s sakes. He nervously chewed his bottom lip. Fear was shown in his glassy brown eyes, geez why was he such a cry baby.The doctor placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He smiled slightly, “That’s understandable since it is a rare disease. This disease… well there’s this thing about this disease. How shall I describe it?” The doctor looked uncomfortable trying to form kind words that can please the ears.Jackson sensed Seokjin’s discomfort. Thus, the blonde cleared his throat and smiled softly. A look of sincerity masking his face. “It’s okay, doc! No need to sugar coat it. I can handle it!!” he said cheerily. The worry that laced his enthusiasm didn’t go unnoticed by the doctor. The man just sighed and smiled sadly, “Basically, Heart rot is a case where your heart pumps poisoned blood thoughout your whole body, the reason behind this disease is quite unknown. There is no cure for it except for detoxifying the blood, but that is a method to only slow down the progression of the disease as detoxification doesn’t purify your blood completely. That being said, your poisoned blood will causes systametic damages, it will rot your blood vessels, nerves, organs; everything basically.”Jackson had a dumb look on his face that basically said I don’t get what you are saying.“Huh?”The doctor cleared his throat, “Basically, your health would worsen overtime, you could expect bleeding in the coming months. Losing your motor skills and finally…” The doctor didn’t to complete his senstence, Jackson got it, but still he could’nt stop himself from asking.“Die…”Jackson casted his eyes towards his fingers, he felt his eyes stinging. What the hell did he do to deserve such a verdict?He looked back to the doctor, damn bravado was forgotten.“Are you sure there is no cure for it?” he stuttered, eyes glistening with tears.The doctor shook his head solemnly, “O-Oh… then how much time…. I-Is left for me to live?” it was hard enough to speak while his tears poured out of his eyes nonstop.The doctor grabbed Jackson’s hands and squeezed it. “I’m really sorry that I can’t help you. I’m really sorry, but your time’s up by the end of winter.”Jackson jumped from his seat, “that’s just a year from now!” he shook his hands out of the clutch of the doctor’s warm hands.“Calm down, please! You need to listen until the end. I promise you that I’ll help you with everything, so you can last a year.” He placed a reassuring hand on his patient’s shoulder. Making the blonde, reluctantly sit back in his seat.The doctor looked at his patient with sympathy, “I’ll give you medication to detoxify your blood to some extent; but you must come at least once a week to have your whole blood cleansed. So, you better come, alright?”Jackson walked away from the hospital with heavy steps, with every step he took, the disease that he was diagnosed with keeps haunting him. The blonde didn’t want to go home yet, he doesn’t want to face his bandmates. How could he face them?‘Hey, guys! I just visited the doctor and he said that I will die in a year!’Jackson shook his head, as if he could tell them that. What about his parents, he didn’t come to a foreign country to tell them that he is dying slowly.He stopped by an empty park not too far from his apartment. His feet carried him to the empty swing. He threw himself on the swing, head falling between his legs in despair. Clutching the medicine bag that was between his hands.Fat droplets of salty water trickled down his cheeks. His façade morphing into pain and sadness. All the bottled-up emotions started to spill out, “I d-don’t…. don’t wanna die yet! I just started! Why me from all of these people out there?!” the blonde coughed out, tears blurring his vision. He rubbed his eyes, trying to wash away the sadness from his eyes, but the tears just keep on falling.…“Why are you crying, brat” a squeaky yet husky voice called out to him.Jackson shot his head up, searching for the source of the voice. He looked to the right and to the left, but there was no one. he was sure that there was no one in this park when he came.
‘Was it my imagination?’
“Hey! Look down, damn brat!” no, he clearly heard it this time. Why the hell does he keep calling him brat?! Jackson did as he was commanded and looked down between his parted legs. His eyes widened and the swing swayed from his sudden jerk of a movement, making him fall off the swing.He caressed his injured back, “Am I imagining stuff?” he thought aloud. Then it became all clear, a silver-ish blue dog plushie jumped on the Chinese chest.The blonde’s eyes widened and his face paled, ‘I must have gone crazy’ he dreaded for his own mental safety. He squeezed his eyes shot, trying to erase the ugly scene in front of him.A soft plushie hands started to forcibly open his eyes. Brown orbs came in contact with shallow blue crystal eyes. “you’re not dreaming! It’s real and I’m real!” out of habit, Jackson slapped his face, trying to focus and kick out the delusions he seeing right now. However, a puppy punch did wake him up, he felt the sting from his cheeks.The blonde sat up from his laying position caressing his now injured cheek.“For a doll, you are strong!”The dog smirked and pointed at himself, “Well what do you know? I’m the strongest around here!” he bragged while puffing out his chest. Jackson scoffed, a frown printed on his face. Until it downed to him.“Wait there are other dolls who talk and move like you!”The plushie dog ignored his question, and rose one of the cartoon-ish brows, “So what gotten you weeping and crying like snobbish brat?” the dog stated. Jackson blushed and wanted to bark out retorts. But now, every second and minute is precious to him. Plus, he had no energy to fight with a talking doll.“I…I’m gonna die…”The puppy doll didn’t flinch at the statement, he stood still and stared at the blonde head on. The plushie retorted back with a question.“Do you want to live?”Jackson parted his lips, trying to form tangible words.“I-I…The disease…It cannot be cured” Jackson felt choked up, if this was a sick joke, he was going to strangle the dog to death.The doll repeated his question loud and clear, “Do you want to live?”No hesitation can be found in the blonde’s expression. Jackson nodded to him.“Yes, I want to live!”The dog smiled at the determination voiced by the Chinese. “I can help you achieve that goal,” the dog barked haughtily. Jackson looked at him confusedly, “What do you mean by that? It’s impossible to do so!” the blonde shook his head in despair. Eying the dog if he was sane. One thing for sure, is that he, Jackson himself; was not sane. 'I'm talking to a doll....If anybody sees me they will report me to a mental hospital!' he shuddered at the sudden thought, but kept it aside.The dog searched through his knitted pouch in front of his belly. Searching for the fated item. The dog took out a transparent jar that is about the size of a human palm. He handed it to the Chinese boy.“With this any wish can be granted! It can even heal your sickness.”Jackson raised one brow at his statement, “How so?” he eyed the jar suspiciously.“You should fill this jar with happiness!!!” the dog exclaimed. The diagnosed kid was left with a mouth widely open. Yup, this dog was on crack.“Okaaaaay…. Let’s just say I believe you, how can it be filled with happiness?” frowning as he was murmuring the question.“It should be true happiness. You should work in making people feel happy by helping them. For every happy soul, a confetti candy will be placed in the jar. Plus, the most important thing is the time limit and it's the four seasons starting from now.”
‘Should I believe him? The time is exactly accurate! If I can collect the confetti before the end of the fourth season, I could be saved from this misery!’
Jackson looked deep in thought eyeing the jar then the dog, and finally he sighed.“The hell with it! I’m not in any position to refuse, that’s why I’ll work with you!” Jackson looked determined, if he could cure his disease with this; then be it. He picked up the doll.The dog gave him a thumbs up, “I’m being a really kind soul offering you a second chance and all,” Jackson regarded him suspiciously, right, there was nothing known as free in this world, “What’d ya want in return?”“Nothing big,” the puppet said, his crystal emotionless eyes suddenly gleamed with an evil glow, which was creepy, “You just have to provide me with a place to live,”Jackson’s lips were puckered, weighing his option, does this mean that he has to provide a shelter for this talking doll? Oh, hell no. He’s just going with whatever the hell in god creation this blue dog is. Seriously, it sounds like a huge scam to him, but desperate times calls for desperate measures.“You can live with me?” He offered the little guy, the puppet’s face shone with happiness, “And I’m fine with that,” The dog extended one little blue arm out and Jackson shook it in a firm handshake.The dog climbed over the man’s shoulder, and pointed towards where he assumed the dorm, “Then, hurry up and take me to my new home.”“Thank god, I thought I had to rent a whole new apartment for your puny little ass,” Jackson whispered under his breath.“Wait, you can do that?”So, the freaking muppet had super hearing too. Nice.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jackson’s mood turned 180 degrees, his once prominent frown was replaced by the brightest grin the blonde could muster. To think that god has blessed him with a second chance to live; he will forever be the loyal follower.He paused in his steps and looked at the doll that was perched on his shoulder, “Hey, you never told me your name.”“You can call me Yogi,”The blue dog whispered in his ears while acting like a stuffed toy. He would flinch each time as they passed kids, especially girls. Jackson snickered silently.“Yogi, huh? I am Jackson Wang,”Yogi’s posture relaxed as they ascended the bus, finally, away from the devious creatures known as children, “So bad with kids, huh?”“They are the worst thing god have created,” The blue dog grumbled. The little thing was now hidden from the others view, as Jackson took the back seat, and not many were riding the bus at this time.“So, Where do you live?” The puppet jumped off the man and took a whole seat to himself.“Nearby from the hospital, 2 stops away,”The dog nodded, “So, how big is your place?”Jackson rose an eyebrow at him, did he think that he was a full grown retriever. For god’s sake the Yogi was smaller than Coco, he was the size of his palm.“It is not actually my place, I live with 6 other men,”“YOU WHAT?” Jackson covered the puppet’s mouth, dismissing the curious glances from the people in the bus with a nervous laugh.“Oh, you’ll love them~”…..Jackson covered his ears, the dog had ate his ears off with his non stop complaints about how he was scammed. It was unfair that he never mentioned his dorm-mates. And when he knew what he does for living, damn did he got even more annoying.…“I’m home!” Jackson exclaimed as he entered the dorm. His hands were firmly clasped on the puppets muzzle, muffling the consistent whining. Apparently, he didn’t have to silence his companion as everyone was out.He frowned as he searched every room, nothing. Wasn’t their schedule cancelled? Even, Yogi was quiet for once, “Thought you were living with six other humans?”“I thought that too,” Jackson mumbled under his breath, “They must be out doing whatever shit they are doing,”The dog hummed, “So, which room is yours?”Jackson blinked the dog, he was technically not all alone. His new friend was now stuck with him for a while which kind of comforted him. He ushered him towards Jaebum’s room, “Here, I share it with one of the members, he’s called Jaebum,”Before Yogi can ask which bed is his, Jackson pointed at the upper bunk and went ahead to change his clothes.The dog jumped up the stairs, making himself at home, snuggling under the covers.………….Jackson reclined against the wall, the dog was now sitting on his lap, “So, how does this all work?” His fingers cradled the jar carefully, “You need to activate the jar first, you can think of a wish, which can be decided now or later that doesn’t matter.”The dog grabbed the jar, “I can activate it for you now, but once the game is on; today will be marked as day 1,”Jackson nodded hesitantly, “So would you like to wish now?” The dog asked with an unusual serious look on his blue face.“Yeah, I wish for-”………“Are you sure?” Yogi asked one last time.“Yes, now do your magic!” Jackson exclaimed excitedly, waiting for the show to begin.Yogi rolled his eyes at the puppy look on the blonde, sheesh, who was the one that looked like a dog? The jar glowed up with a white light as Yogi mumbled out spells, bright stars erupted from the jar once the lid was off the glass bottle. The room drowned with meteor shower, stars shooting rapidly in the room, it looked magical, like a scene out of a movie.“Wow,” The blonde’s breath came out shaky as he took in one of the world’s wonder, there was nothing magical as the thing he just witnessed, fight him.“With this a contract have formed between me and you and until death do us apart or once the jar is filled, we are connected,” The dog said, showing off the tattoo that colored his wrist and pointed at the thorns that circled his neck. Jackson caressed the tattoo on his throat, “Wait, you never mentioned that there will be a tattoo, and on my neck too.”“The places differ to every human, relax, it is not visible for now, it will become apparent to the human eyes as we are nearing the deadline.”Jackson nodded, admiring the vines, it was creepy how real they looked, he traced over the green vines delicately.“What happens to you Yogi if I did manage to fill the jar with happiness?”“I’d have my original form back,” He said as he was shoving the jar into his little bag. Keeping it safe, and saving it from being lost.Jackson rolled his eyes, he was a responsible human for god's sake.“Your original form?” The blonde sat back, relaxing against the pillows. Yogi nodded, he pointed at himself, “You think that this how I really look?!” He barked out.Jackson held his hands up, not meaning to offend the dog, “Woah, how would I know if this was your original look, how did you end up in this state?”“Let’s just say that the god’s didn’t like me that much,” he gruffly bit out, before Jackson can question him, Yogi changed the subject, “I’m hungry do you have any food here?”So that is how Jackson found himself leaving the dorm for a second time.……..Jackson headed to the nearest food stall, he was not in the mood to dine in a restaurant. He rested on tteokbokki and oden. He bought a haul of them and headed for the park to avoid weird glances from people as the pup would point at anything he fancied.Yogi jumped on the bench, and Jackson went ahead and displayed the food out. The dog howled in excitement and shoved the spicy rice cakes in his mouth. “So, whatcha planning to do to fill your jar with confetti?” The dog askedJackson nibbled on the oden, somehow, he’s not that hungry. “Mmm, I don’t know; I guess I’ll wander around searching for sad people?”“Hey Yogi, How would you know that after you helped them; they’ll be happy?”“You’ll know when it happens,” Yogi hummed as he ignored the questioning look on Jackson’s face.Jackson stared at the sky that was dyed with orange and pink hues, “Hey, do you think anybody will miss me if I died?”His eyes fell on the puppet that stopped chewing for a second, Yogi watched the sky too.“Maybe, your parents might, I guess?”Jackson closed his eyes, liking how gentle the wind blew against his face, “I’m sure they’d miss me; I mean they are my parents…”“So you meant someone else?” The dog resumed his nasty way of eating.Jackson felt a lump forming in his throat, his fingers going over the thorns scalded against his skin. “My members, do you think if they lost me, they’ll be sad?”“Mmm, I wonder, do you think they’ll miss you?” Yogi countered back, licking the sauce of his paws.“I doubt it.” He covered his face, tired from the events that happened this hateful day. “I don’t want to be a burden to them and this illness was no walk in the park, what if I fail them?”“Then you’d have to works as twice as hard,”Jackson blinked away the tears, he looked down at the puppet who was grinning madly at him. “To prove that you are no dead weight even when you are literally dying,”A hesitant smile found its way on Jackson’s face, “Do you think that I’ll be able to that?”“It’d be really hard, you’ll go through immense pain, you might feel like dying would be better sometimes, but in the end you’d be able to pull through.” Yogi snickered at the tears that fell freely from the golden brown eyes.“What makes you put that much faith in me when I don’t believe in myself?” Jackson played with oden stick, he felt the food the he just swallowed is rushing back up.Yogi frowned, pulling at his lower lip, “It is because you have the will to live, the eyes I saw earlier today in the park were desperate and screamed I'd do anything just to live a second longer .”Sheesh, this is embarrassing, why was he such a crybaby, there was nothing to cry about, but he couldn’t put a stop to the dam that broke out once he heard the word will to live.……Jackson woke up with a start when he felt a phone blaring, he looked back at the sky that was completely black. Sheesh, the tteokbokki gave him a food coma.Just till when did he snooze, with clumsy hands he looked for his phone, but there was no texts or messages on his device. The clock read 8 in bold white font, at least it was not late late. He sighed, the members might still be outside as they didn’t hit his phone yet. But will they even call him?Jackson shook his head, no use thinking about it. If he was in real trouble, they’d call him or the manager would. Now that his head was clear, he’s kind of not in the mood to deal with his dorm-mates.He blinked in confusion, if that was not his phone then whose? He looked around him, the bench opposite to him, there sat a man talking on the phone in a hushed yet alarmed tone.“What do you mean he ran away?!”Jackson ignored the conversation, he turned towards the puppy that was snoring so loudly, which was kinda weird that he didn’t wake up because of it. The blonde poked the bulged out belly.“Hey, Yogi wake up,” he continued poking the puppet. Yogi slapped the rude finger off him, “Buzz off,” he grumbled turning to his side, back facing Jackson’s way.Jackson had enough of his charade, se he pinched the dog’s nose, and that did the trick. Yogi woke up with cold sweat, ready to lash out at the Chinese member. Jackson managed to muffle the puppet’s voice before their cover is blown off.“Huh, when did it get dark?” Yogi looked up at the sky, “We slept for hours that's for sure,” Jackson mused out. Yogi climbed up Jackson’s shirt, resting on the blonde’s shoulder, “Let’s go back home, sleeping on the bench is not exactly comfy,”Jackson hummed in agreement, he headed towards the park’s exit, but something within him didn’t settle as he heard the panicked man’s voice rise again.He’ll just ask him if he was okay and then he’d go on his merry way, Jackson walked towards the man that was pulling his hair out of frustration, “Excuse me, are you okay?”He approached the man slowly as if he was approaching a wild animal, trying not to scare away the boy? He looked young, and kind of familiar, he squinted as the street lamp finally revealed the boy's feature. He was surprised to find that the boy in front of him was, “Chan? Is that you?” He jogged towards the boy, who rose his head in fright, tears welling within his eyes.“Jackson-hyung?”
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Jackson rushed to the younger boy’s side, his hands hovering over the shaking back of the boy in front of him, “Woah, what’s wrong Chan-ie?” At the site of a familiar face, Bang Chan, broke down into tears. He clutched into Jackson’s shirt’s looking like a man who had lost his everything.Jackson rubbed soothing circles on the quivering back, “Talk to me Chan-ie, what happened?”The Australian started wiping his tears clumsily, snot smearing all over his cheeks from how roughly he was rubbing his face. Chan looked up at the older in despair, “H-Hyung, I don’t know what I am supposed to do, I just debuted and all of this happened!” Chan bit his gnawed his lower lips with anxiety clinging onto him like a second skin.Jackson tucked the younger to his side, “Hey, hey, let me understand what’s going on before you act all hysterical,”“I need to go,” Chan shook his head, refusing the help the older offered and stood up on shaky legs, “I can’t bother you, hyung.”Jackson had enough of this bravado, he smacked the weeping boy’s head. Sheesh, the red head could barely stand on his feet. “Now listen here, you shitty brat. You are going to tell me what happened, so I can see how I can help as it is impossible to send you away in the state you are in now!”Chan’s eyes grew glassy, “When somebody offers you help, be a good boy and accept it.”The Australian sat back on the bench, his head hung between his legs, “I-I have two younger siblings who are barely teenagers. Around a year ago, my parents died in accident, things were going fine, as both of them were in the custody of my aunt, but early this year. She couldn't take it anymore and she-,” His voice cracked, peeling off the last bravado peel, in contrast with the angry tears that gathered in the younger's eyes, “They were forced into foster homes,”Jackson took in a harsh breath, “Are they back in Aust-”“No they are here, in Korea, I feel such a failure that I can’t get them out of such a life style.” Chan broke down once again. Jackson felt his hands tremble with anger, once again fate had played those atrocious cards, so cruel that it leaves you in such an awful state. “I’m all what they have left, but I can’t even take care of myself; how can I take care of them. I cannot even afford a one room apartment,” Jackson clasped the bony shoulder, trying to comfort the younger, or maybe himself, “And to think that would be the end of it, but no; can life get any shittier. Lucas, he, my baby brother, he disappeared ”Jackson jumped on his feet, “What, Why didn’t say that before?! You idiot, if you were going to cry about it, do something first, then cry!”Jackson pulled Chan on his feet, “How old is he? Do you have a picture of him? Do you have an idea where he would go?”Chan sent Lucas’s picture to Jackson, the boy looked like a kid barely in his teens. “He’s eight, he barely knows the area. He is all alone in god knows where,” The Australian was going to have another meltdown. Jackson cupped the younger’s cheeks.“We are going to find him, I’m not going to leave you until we know that he is safe and sound.”With glassy eyes, Chan nodded his eyes. Praying for his younger brother’s safety.…..They headed towards the foster home; which was two stops away thankfully. The one who greeted him was Chan’s younger sister, falling into his arms, mumbling unstopped apologies. She should have watched him, she was the one at fault for not paying attention.Chan put a strong front, no tears was seen in his eyes as he assured his sister that he’s going to find Lucas and bring him back home safe.They talked to the owner of the house, a middle-aged woman who had a troubled expression on, Chan bowed in apology and promised that such incidents won’t happen again. Thankfully, she was understanding and prayed that they will bring the boy back safe and sound.“Darling, it’s fine. I just hope that he is safe out there.”“I’m really sorry once again,” Chan squeezed his trembling hands, to stop them from shaking and then headed out to search for Lucas.Jackson nodded his head politely, and exited the house.….“I don’t think that he strayed that far from home, he is been missing for an hour, so Imma go left and you go right,” Jackson squeezed Chan’s shoulder and pointed out, “And stop biting your lips, boy. They are bleeding.” He ruffled his hair one last time before heading his way.Jackson scanned the area he was covering; thankfully, the house was located in a safe neighborhood, so even if Lucas were to stray off , it was unlikely to find him beaten up in a shady alleyway. Still, a kid that age wandering around at night all by himself was a bit worrying. Nowadays, all sort of people are out there, and it wasn't safe at all.“What a day,” He sighed, ruffling his hair. He headed towards the park that was in the neighbourhood.“You can say that again,” Yogi mumbled next to his ear. Jackson totally forgot that the pup was perched on his shoulder like a parrot. “Yogi can you sniff him out?” Jackson tried to to lighten the damp mood.The look that Yogi gave him gave him shivers, “LUCAAAS, YOU THERE?!” ….Jackson ran down the streets, he searched through every creek. He just couldn’t seem to find the little boy. Just where the hell would he ever go? He reached till the end of the neighborhood, which lead to one place, an abandoned park. Jackson gulped as he entered the deserted place, for such a good neighborhood; they didn’t bother fix the street lamps. He scanned the area, which was bare except for a swing and a slide. It looks like the park will be cut down soon; from the fences surrounding the area. What are the chances of Lucas being here anyway, he was too scared to set a foot in the haunted place. Sheesh, it looked like a scene out of a horror movie, eerie in a way that it looked like something may pop out of the dark.He turned his head, ready to move from his place, but a low animalistic growl caught his attention. Jackson scanned the area once again, but he couldn’t catch anything unusual. “Yogi, did you hear that?”The dog jumped off his shoulder and made his way into the park crawling into a hole made into the fence.“W-where are you going?” Jackson hissed, but the puppet ignored him and Jackson had no choice, but to follow him.…Jackson brushed the dust off his knees, and observed any movements from his surroundings. His eyes widened; there, past the broken street light, a cowering child curled into a ball with a growling, rabid dog; circling around the child, just like a snake circling around a mouse, just to spite it before killing it.Jackson in the heat of the moment grabbed the puppet who was frozen in his place, and ran towards the canine. The Stray dog growled at the duo, Jackson somehow managed to be within an arm reach of the child; which meant the dog could have a better access to his neck.“Shoo, Shoo,” Jackson tried to scare the dog by making kicking motions with his legs, but that angered the dog even more. He lunged forward to catch the limb, but thanks to years of practicing fencing; he managed to avoid his leg being cut off; which was a close call.“Yogi,” Jackson tightened his hold on the puppet.“What?” as if sensing something bad was going to happen, the puppet tried to free himself, even biting Jackson’s hand, but that didn’t help at all.“I’m really sorry,” Jackson yeeted the puppet at the stray dog, which thankfully ran after Yogi, must have imagine it a ball.“I’M GONNA FREAKING MURDER YOU!”…..Jackson jumped over the fence with a crying child in his arms, the dog was hot on his heels with Yogi between his fangs, strings of explicit curses leaving his stuffed muzzle.“I’M SORRYYYYY” Jackson bellowed atop his lungs.“JUST WAIT TILL I’M OUT OF THIS MUTT’S MOUTH, I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO RISOTTO AND EAT YOU!”“IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET THE BOY WITHOUT GETTING HURT, WAIT WHY RISOTTO?!”“SO YOU SACRIFICE ME?!”“IT IS WHAT IS!” Oh, how Yogi didn’t like what he heard; he started shouting death threats; which Jackson ignored for the second time. Now, how can he lose the dog? It was salivating real hard, drenching his coat in the pectoral region. Jackson was having second thoughts in retrieving his companion.Jackson ran between the houses, disappearing and appearing into different alleyways; his thigh muscles were on fire; they burnt with life. It hurt so bad, but in a good way; which was weird when was pain a pleasurable experience?“It feels good to be alive,” Jackson laughed out loud, jumping over another bush. His heart throbbed hardly against his ribcage, he can hear distinct thudding in his ear; which resonated throughout his body.It feels that it was just a bad dream that in a year time, he is going to wither away. Wheels of fate seriously work in such a weird way.…By the time he found Chan, the dog was long gone. Spitting out the pup, that didn’t have an ounce of meat on his body, his footsteps, sounded like those of a wet cloth being dragged across the ground, “Yo Chan, so did you find him?”The Australian’s face was clouded with worry, but his eyes brightened as he saw the child Jackson was carrying. “Lucas?” The younger boy’s eyes glistened with hope, approaching the child that was crying silently, hiding his face in Jackson’s neck.The boy raised his head, face stricken with tears, more salty drops were falling. In Automatic responce, tiny hands reached out for the red head. Jackson took this as a sign to let go of the boy. Chan engulfed Lucas in a bone crushing hug, both boys were wailing so loudly, that Jackson snorted at the display of affection.Jackson smiled at the reunion, he stood back, giving them their space. Now he had another problem on his hands; he avoided the angry glares coming from Yogi. It was wearing his bone down, he crouched to the puppet’s eye level, “Well, at least we managed to find him, huh?”Yogi growled, baring his fangs at the human; “How about we leave you in a smelly street mutt mouth’s all day, huh?!”Jackson bowed his head, “I’m sorry sir,” He apologized immediately, Yogi might actually try and do that if he tried to outsmart him.That didn’t ease the pup’s anger, not even a bit, so he latched in the Chinese calf’s and bit him, like he was starving for years. Jackson yowled in pain, “I told you I’m sorry, Didn’t I?!”“And you should suffer!” Yogi’s voice came out muffled, he didn’t seem to be letting go anytime soon.Their dispute stopped when the bag Yogi always carried glowed brightly. Yogi gave one last bite before grabbing the jar and showing the human with excitement the konpeito, the single pink candy that was glowing within the empty jar.Jackson’s eyes widened and with hasty hands he grabbed the jar, “Woah, it is pretty!” his hand shook with the excitement, he looked at the dog who had a matching grin, his anger episode was long forgotten.Jackson’s eyes drifted towards the hugging sibling, Chan had a relieved look on his face with a bright grin washing away his sadness. He was holding his brother so tightly that Lucas was complaining, “Leggo, Hyung. I’m fine,” His voice was kinda muffled, but you can hear the soft giggles escaping from their parted lips.Then their eyes suddenly fell to Jackson, and the Chinese member could only whisper, “Act dead Yogi,” The blue dog did what he was told and fell to his side, and Jackson shoved the jar into his pocket. His lips parted into a smile as the younger approached him, Chan didn’t look like he was going to let Lucas walk tonight.“Hyung, thank you so much for bringing him back to me,” Chan’s voice was choked up, still shaken up by the events, but the happiness was reflected on his face. Jackson smiled widely and ruffled up Chan’s soft locks.“No worries, did what I had to do,”The red head shook his head, “No, you didn’t have to do it. You could have left me on that bench and walked away, like any other person would have, but no you reached out to me and helped all the way through. I’ll be forever in your debt, and I don’t know how I could ever repay you for this, nothing I’do would be equivalent to you returning Lucas back to me. Hyung, I’m so glad to have met you.”Jackson didn’t know how to respond to that, his fingers grazed against the cold jar, “Aren’t you over-exaggerating?” He nervously laughed, before his awkward expression calmed into a soft smile, “No, you gave me something precious in return that would make me forever thankful to you too, so we are even” Jackson grinned at the confused look on the younger’s face, “What do you mean?”Jackson flicked Chan’s forehead and pinched Lucas’s nose, “And you, no more running away.”Lucas shied away from touch, but a small smile formed on the child’s face, “Thank you,” he mumbled before tucking his face into Chan’s neck.“You are most welcome,” he looked back at Chan who was kissing his brother’s forehead and hugged him tighter, “As much as I want to hang out with you guys, it is getting late and I have a schedule to attend tomorrow.”A guilty look came across the younger who opened his mouth to most likely to apologize, but Jackson dismissed it with a quick pinch to the younger’s cheek, “Now be safe, ok?” He turned his head to the little brother who was observing him curiously. “And it was nice meeting you, would have liked to meet you under better circumstances, but beggars can’t be choosers.”Jackson waved them off as he headed back towards the bus stop, thankfully, there was the last bus running and he managed to hop on time. Now that his body relaxed, the fatigue rolled on like waves rippling the calm sea.He rolled his shoulders, which gave a satisfying crack, before melting against his seat. “It was such a long day. GOSH!”Yogi sat on his lap, and let out a big yawn, “At least you managed to get a confetti,”Jackson nodded, his eyes fell shut. “And don’t think that I forgot about what you did to me.”Jackson groaned, he covered his face with his hands, “You sure know how to hold your grudges,”An animalistic growl left Yogi as he punched the unguarded stomach, “Try me bish”Just remind him the next time, if he were to sacrifice someone, he should just threw himself in hell.……..When Jackson said it was getting late, he never imagined it was late, late. God, by the time he reached the dorm, it was around one in the morning. He creeped inside the apartment, for the first time ever, he was happy that none of his members were there to greet him. He was seriously not up to being interrogated when he was going to drop dead asleep any moment soon, but no; fate just hated him.“Why the hell are you sneaking in like thief for?” Jackson’s hand flew over to Yogi’s mouth, and made a shushing sign, “Shut up, are you trying to wake the members up; they are asleep for god's sake.”In the corner of his eyes, he saw movement. Jinyoung rose his head from where he was lying on the couch. Rubbing his eyed tiredly, as he was making out Jackson's figure in the dark, “Who-Jackson is that you?”Jackson forced a sigh down, he gave a warning look to the dog who did a zipping motion over his mouth. The Chinese member approached the younger, a tired smile on his face, “Sorry for waking you up, go back to sleep,”Jinyoung looked confused, his eyes ran over Jackson, then to his surrounding, then back to the TV that was closed. “I guess I slept while the movie was going,”“Movie?” Jackson asked, if he was much aware of his feeling, then he would have been hurt by the fact they didn’t invite him, but now his feelings were quite numb. With everything going, his priority was to survive, and he didn’t find within himself to care about them, getting excluded from their activities.“Yeah with the others, after we grabbed a quick meal and then headed back,” Jinyoung yawned, but he looked more awake, “Where were you?”Jackson scratched the back of his neck, “Went for a walk,”Jinyoung rose his eyebrow, “Since morning?”“What can I say it was a long walk, the longest one in my life. Anyways, I’m gonna head to bed, Jinyoung-ie don’t sleep on the couch, you’ll catch a cold.”“Wait, Jackson.”Jackson’s hand paused on the door knob, with a questioning look he turned towards the man who called him, “Yeah?”“Was there someone with you when you came in, I swear I heard a gruff voice, that sounded like an old man who smoke a packet a day.” Jinyoung grabbed the pillow, as he walked toward his friend. Jackson’s eye fell on Yogi, who had a hard time to stay still in his jacket's pocket, from the looks of it he was bubbling with anger.“Pfft, ahem, ah no Jinyoung-ie you must still be half asleep, go and sleep we have an early schedule tomorrow, first thing in the morning."…..Jackson breathed out a relieved sigh as he entered the room, ‘That could have gone wrong.’He looked at Jaebum who was not asleep, reading a book. ‘You must be kidding me,’ Jackson rubbed the area between his eyes, he was just too tired to talk. Hopefully, the older will ignore him. He ripped off his shirt and grabbed the first hoodie he can see.He approached the ladder slowly, “You are finally back,” There goes his plan to sleep, Jackson masked his annoyed countenance with a smile, “Yeah, was a long day,”Jackson sighed as Jaebum regarded him with a pointed stare, “You are late Jackson, what were you thinking staying out this late?” Jaebum was in his leader mode.“I’m sorry…” Jackson knew better than to argue with him, “Where were you?” He prodded on.“Around the neighborhood, and I came back around evening, but none of you were at home, so I went out again.” A little of annoyance seeped into his tone, which went noticed by the leader.Jaebum closed his book, his eyes narrowing at the blonde, “What’s up with you?”Jackson bit his lower lip, avoiding any unnecessary emotions coming out, “Nothing, hyung. It has just been a really long day, wasn’t the best too” His voice had a bitter tilt in it.Jaebum didn’t say anything, he was just observing the Chinese member, “I’m sorry,” Jackson murmured an apology which Jaebum nodded hesitantly at, “if there is nothing, I’ll go to bed,” He didn’t wait for any response and climbed to the upper bunk.Yogi wiggled his way before Jackson would crush him under his weight, the dog’s silence was comforting, but that didn’t stop the frustrated tears from falling down. Yogi just fell close to Jackson’s face, and the blonde buried his nose into the doll’s belly.Jackson didn't know why he is crying about, seriously, was it sadness, anger, frustration or bitterness? He was not sure what is that emotion that keeps on washing his heart, wearing him down to his bone. He swore that he felt soft plush arm running through his hair, but when opened his eyes, Yogi was looking at him with an unreadable expression. A wet grin appeared on his face, “Yogi,” He whispered“Hmm?” The dog yawned and stretched his body, “You smell like the sewers,”Jackson was a second late from protecting his face from the punch Yogi delivered. He fell off the bed from the impact, scaring the shit out of Jaebum. Jackson kinda lowered the damage by tangling his feet against the stairs, but that didn’t stop him from hitting his head against the floor. Jackson groaned as caressed the bump on his head, “How can you treat a dying person like that?!” Jackson whined, Jaebum was soon on his vision line, looking at him with an concerned look.“What happened?” The leader’s hand was hovering over the Chinese member, but not directly touching him.“A bug?” Jackson tried lamely which was kinda believable as Jaebum rolled his eyes at him and went back to bed, “Sorry,” he whispered and climbed back to give Yogi a stinky eye, but the violent dog showed his fist, ready to to deliver another punch, Jackson lowered his head in apology, “I have been out of line, your highness,”Yogi rolled his eyes and gave him one last warning glare before he made space for Jackson on the bed.“Who died in your panties?” Jackson grumbled, “Oh test me bish, I can whoop your ass till tomorrow.”Jackson made a zipping motion over his mouth, “Good night my knight in shining armor,”“Oh shut up,” Yogi grumbled as the dog curled around his shoulder, claiming that it was warmest place in the whole room. Jackson wanted to point out that the room was sweltering, but having the dog close to him was comforting.His eyes were fluttering close, it was such a long day, he was kind of not excited for tomorrow to come. He hoped for all of this to be a dream, but reality was not that sweet.“Or wait should it be my dog in shining armor,”“For the love of god,” A pained groan came from the dog, which made the blonde erupt in giggles.
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By the time morning came by, Jackson was suffering from sore muscles, just how far did the rabid dog chase him. The members were usually wrecking a storm, their voices going all over the place; so it was weird he couldn't hear them. Jackson rolled onto his right, forgetting about the doll that was asleep next him.“UMF MFF-”That snapped Jackson from his half-asleep state, but that didn’t mean that made him move fast, “Sorry,” he mumbled. Yogi hacked for the air that was robbed from him a minute ago, he bristled with anger and fully waked the man up with a punch that threw him off the bed.Jackson’s face hit the cold floor, “For a tiny stuffed toy, you sure are strong.”Yogi’s button eyes turned menacing and red in anger, “One day, one day, Imma kill you,”Jackson rubbed his bruised head, “Not before my illness does,” He closed his mouth shut once he remembered where he was, his eyes fell on the lower bunk, which was thankfully free from Jaebum.The older must have forgotten to wake him up. Jackson stared at the empty bed, his hands clutching his chest, and then he relaxed his grip. Weirdly, the suffocating tightness in his heart was not stinging this morning, his heart didn’t ache when he realized that Jaebum was slowly forgetting his presence in the room.It didn’t hurt anymore, but what had changed, he is sure if it was a few days ago; he might have cried over the fact that the group was erasing his existence. His eyes as if a natural force was pulling it towards the Yogi, he jumped off the upper bunk, resembling a wrestler preforming his ending move.Yogi punched Jackson’s cheek one last time and held the human in what seemed like a head lock. Jackson frowned as he side eyed the dog that was throwing one arm under his head, and the other arm over his face, “Whatcha doing over there, buddy?”“M-My arms don’t reach,” The blue dog whined.“You don’t say,” Jackson sarcastically commented, what he wanted to say was, would you look at your size; and that would have been a bad move. What would riling the lil dog do good for?Jackson patted the plush head and apologized, “Am sorry,”“You better be,” The pup growled, and fell stiff into his neck when the door suddenly opened.Jaebum’s head popped in, his eyebrows were up to his hair line when he saw how Jackson was sprawling on the floor like a starfish.“Wha-, you know what? I’m not asking, just get ready we leave in five minutes.”Jackson blinked at him stupidly, before rushing out to the bathroom, “Why didn’t you wake me up, hyung?!!” A whine left his mouth as he was panicking in his place, he was trying to decide what should he do first? Eat, change his clothes, or go freshen up?“Uh, sorry; I totally forgot that you came back yesterday.”“Not helping, dude,” He glared at the leader who looked sheepishly away. “Seun-ah, come here eat something quick and then go change your clothes,” God bless Jinyoung; he ran over to him and the younger handed him a plate of toast, which he inhaled in matter of seconds. He burnt his tongue as he tried to gulp down the hot tea.He felt sick for a second before it was all right again, he rose his head up, wanting to convey his thanks to his friend, but everyone, including Jaebum who joined the dining table was looking at him as if he grew an extra head.“What?”“Hyung, what is that thing?” Yugyeom, ever the brave soul pointed at Yogi who was awkwardly hanging off Jackson’s shoulder, the Chinese member grabbed the stuffed animal and held Yogi as if he was a delicate being.“A god sent present,”“What now?”Jackson grinned at the confused look Yugyeom shot him, “Nothing much, uhhh, a fan gave him to me yesterday,”“Him,” Bambam regarded the doll, “You think it's male? I mean blue doesn’t determine his sex as being a male,” He pointed out, stabbing Yogi’s belly with his finger. He could feel the dog beginning to squirm in his hand.Jackson swatted the long, thin ass finger from Yogi’s belly. “Yeah, I know that, but this little one is raging with testosterone.”“What, how would you know that?”“I just know,” Jackson winked and stood up, “I’ll go and change before I make all of us late,”……He eyed the pills that laid innocently in his hand, Jackson grimaced at it, “You know that staring at them won’t magically erase them from existence,”“I know that…But still I hate to take meds,”“Nobody likes them, but you need to take them,” Yogi reasoned. Jackson sighed as he swallowed them, they had a bitter taste which made his frown more prominent.He sighed as he packed the capsules into his bag, “Hey hop in the bag, we need to go,”……….The members were hurried into the van, he somehow ended up sitting next to Jinyoung who had his nose in his new book. Jackson took this opportunity to check his phone, checking his missed calls and messages. A smile grew on his face as he opened a text from Chan, he slid the zipper wide open, and nudged the snoring dog that was burrowed into the cloth of his bag. Jackson covered the plushie’s mouth, he didn’t want him screaming now; he looked towards Jinyoung who was still engrossed into his book.“Look,” He mouthed, shoving his phone into the dog’s face, making him squint at the screen’s brighteness. Chan sent him a picture of him hugging his little brother with the biggest grin adorning his face. Jackson’s heart welled with warmth and he mirrored the grin the younger shown, but Yogi didn’t share his sentiments he punched the phone, if not for his firm grip on the device, the poor thing would have flied off to its death.“Hey-” Jackson exploded, but Yogi zipped up the bag, ignoring the world outside. Jackson felt his vein popping, this coldhearted asshole. His outburst got the attention of the members, “What?” Jinyoung frowned at the Chinese member.He dismissed his seat mate with a resigned sigh, Jinyoung nodded at him and returned back to his book, but Bambam seemed to be bored out of his mind, so he was poking into his business; which was a strange affair. Recently the Thailand member just didn’t seem interested in getting involved with Jackson's affairs.“Hyung, watcha looking at?” Bambam had that sly smirk on his face as he leaned over the head rest, but still, he was too far to be able to look into his phone. That grabbed the attention of Jinyoung, who looked over at the fashionista.Jackson blinked stupidly at Bambam, “Huh, what are you talking about?”Bam’s grin grew bigger, “or is it who you are talking to? Hyung, you were grinning!”Jackson rolled his eyes at the boy, he snorted, “I’m not dating anyone, relax.”“Huh, then what made you look so giddy?” Bambam mustered his best ‘I’m suspicious of you’ stare.“What is it to you, kid?” Jackson laughed aloud, Bambam continued with his assumptions, “If you are not dating, then you must be hiding something!”Jackson stuck his tongue to the roof of his mouth, and shrugged at the nosey member, “Can’t lie and say I don’t have a secret or two,”Jinyoung piped in, with the most betrayed look on his face, “Are they secrets that I know nothing off, I mean there is nothing I don’t know about you, like come on”Jackson grinned, and booped the raven head’s nose, “Sorry, bro, I’m afraid that even you don’t know about them.”Jinyoung faked a gasp, “Now I’m offended, I understand if you’d keep it from Bam, I mean it is Bam at the end of the day,” “HEY THAT’S RUDE,” Jinyoung flipped the younger off. “But from me, now that is not acceptable, so what are you hiding?”Jackson rolled his eyes at them, and send Chan millions of hearts, and shoved Jinyoung’s face off his shoulder, “Jinyoung, they are called a secret for a reason,” He huffed with a laughter, “But you never keep anything from me!” Jinyoung argued back, his irritation slipped into his tone.Jackson rose an eyebrow at that, “Sorry, Jinyoungie, but I can’t tell you, I don’t think they’ll like it if I talked about their private matters,”“Them? Who is them?” Jinyoung and Bambam were now on his ass, he thanked the stars once the van stopped with a screech.“Well, What’d ya know, we arrived,” he patted Jinyoung’s shoulder, ignoring his pointed stare.“We are not done with this, you heard me,” Jinyoung whispered before getting off the van. Jackson sighed, now that the two noisy people were off his back, he can focus on working, and crafting plans to get those damn konpeito.
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Jackson headed towards the bathroom, away from his member’s eyes, taking the poor dog that was clawing his way out from his bag.He went into an empty stall and locked it.“You okay?” Jackson smiled gently at the dog who was sulking, “I felt like I was getting crushed through your shit!”Jackson chuckled in apology, “Gimme a day or two and I’ll buy a bag that suits your size,”“Hurry with it then.”Jackson sat on the seat, “And how are you feeling?” Yogi countered, noticing how pale the human had gotten. Jackson rubbed his face tiredly, “A mix of nausea and tiredness, must be the side effect of the pills,”Yogi frowned at it, he jumped on Jackson’s lap, and grabbed the younger’s cheek and squished them. “Don’t overdo it, okay?”Jackson closed his eyes, relaxing in the hold of the puppet, “I’ll try, but no promises.”………They were finally done with the performances and GOT7 were now chilling and eating in the waiting room. They were done for the day, so they were not in rush to leave the place. Jackson was feeling a lot better since morning, he even managed to stomach lunch, which was a challenge to do. Every bite he took wanted to rush back out of his mouth. Now, dinner was easily going down his esophagus, his complexion got better, less yellowish in a way.Nobody questioned why Yogi was sitting on Jackson’s lap, they rolled their eyes at his childish antics; which Jackson was quite offended by it. He was not childish at all. He was just a man that enjoyed his youth, but it was a benefit to him, them not questioning him, so he shut his mouth and took what they offered.Jackson sneaked some pieces of chicken and handed it to the dog who happily munched on them.Jackson smiled softly at the dog. Jackson rose his head and tapped the dog’s head when he felt someone sitting next to him on the sofa. He looked up and Jinyoung was once again on his tail, he tried to feel annoyed by how nosy the younger was being, but he couldn’t help the warmth that spread in his chest knowing that his friend was talking to him on his own record, albeit for a stupid reason.“What now?” Jackson resignedly sighed. He watched in amusement as Jinyoung scoffed, “What, I can’t talk to my friend now?”Jackson shook his head, “No it is just,” He mused a little, it would make him a little pathetic to say that Jinyoung was ignoring him for the last couple of months, and he was only interested in him now because he was keeping things from the younger.“Just what?” Jinyoung raised one of his thick brows, his lips turning slightly down.Jackson shook his head, “So what do you want to know?”Jinyoung stared at him for a second before throwing his arms over Jackson’s shoulder; his hand quickly went to secure Yogi in his lap, frozen in an uncomfortable position, seriously the one with the worst luck in this room is the dog.“If you really don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. But know that I’m always here for you, okay?” Jinyoung whispered in his ear, as he secured Jackson in a side hug.Jackson bit his tongue down. Why would he say this now, when he needed him a few months ago; Jinyoung had ignored him. When was the last time did Jinyoung pick up the phone, he called him more than he could count, but not once did he answer or even called him back.He imagined that he’d feel warmth filling him up, but none of that happened. Jackson’s inside were as empty as always, so buttering him no longer works.“I know that,” Jackson’s smile tightened, and he patted Jinyoung’s shoulder; the younger’s smile turned to a frown. “Jackson, you seriously okay?”Seriously, why now? Jackson thought bitterly.“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Jackson cringed at how awkward his laugh came out. Thankfully, Jinyoung had let go of Jackson and shifted slightly away from Jackson, the other nodded, “And if there was something,” Jinyoung continued, but Jackson interrupted him, “You will be the first one to know,”Jackson grinned, “And don’t listen to Bam, there really is no one;” he huffed in laughter.Bambam chose this moment to jump in their conversation, “You might fool Jinyoung-hyung, but not me!”Jackson flicked the idiot’s forehead, “Oh shut up, where could I have the time to date?”Bambam rubbed his red forehead, “I mean even in wars, babies were born, so why can’t you date?”Jackson rolled at his reasoning, “Well, don’t worry about that, I’m not dating anyone now, not any time soon that is for sure.”“Then I don’t get it, why were you smiling at your phone?”Jackson threw his arms in defeat and slumped back against the sofa, “Is it a crime to smile?”Bambam grinned apologetically, then his eyes sparkled as he suddenly took an interest in something else. Jackson heard a faint, “Oh shit,” Coming from the pup on his lap, Bambam dove for the puppet, picking him ruthlessly, squeezing him hardly, the chicken that was half-chewed in his Yogi’s mouth flew to the floor.Jackson froze, dread eating his inside, Yogi was stiffer than usual, Bambam and Jinyoung blinked at the chicken that was laying innocently on the ground. Jackson in the speed of light kicked the piece of meat away so hard that it hit the wall with a thud, sliding pathetically against the wall.“What was that?” Jinyoung questioned, he looked at Jackson as if he grew another head, “Hmm?” Jackson replied with sweat gathering in his palms, “What was what? You didn’t see anything now, actually, it is a dream and I don’t even exist.”The glare Yogi sent him zipped him up immediately, “Hyung, were you feeding the doll?”“Uh, yes, AH I MEAN NO!” Jackson shook his head, he reached for the puppet, but Bambam moved away. He looked at the older with a creeped out look; “Hyung, you must have lost your mind?”“Give it back,” He extended his arm out, giving Bambam the most disapproved look at the younger, “And what is it to you if I feed him or not, Yogi is mine, so give it back?”“You even named him, what are you, five?! Hyung, seriously are you all right in the head, you know that it is not alive, right.”Jackson breathed in slowly, today was not his day, Bambam was seriously getting on his nerves on this fine day, “Give him back, Bam. I’m not playing.”Jinyoung stood up next to Jackson, sensing the annoyance oozing off Jackson, “Hey calm down, he’s just kidding; why are you getting worked up?”Sensing the commotion, the members attention was directed to them. Looking at how intense Jackson was acting and the worry marring on Jinyoung’s face, Jaebum felt the alarm going off in his head. He headed towards Bambam who was holding onto the blue stuffed toy.“What’s going on?” He prodded, glaring at Jackson who was getting riled up. Jinyoung’s hesitant hand on Jackson’s shoulder, kinda holding Jackson back.“Jaebum-hyung, you won’t believe what I saw, Jackson was feeding this doll and he even named it; what was the name, Yogi?” Bambam shoved Yogi into Jaebum’s face, not giving his space to see the doll clearly.“Bambam, I said to give him back, you are hurting him!” Jackson shrugged off Jinyoung’s hand and headed towards Bambam. This time Jb was blocking him off. Jackson frowned at their actions; why were they blocking him. He wanted to strangle the boy, but that didn’t mean that he was actually going to do it.“Jaebum-hyung, move,” he insisted, his eyes fell momentarily at the dog who was seconds away from punching Bambam, “Bam give him back, like right now!”Jaebum pushed Jackson back, his back ended up colliding with Jinyoung’s chest. His friend found this a chance to hold him back. “Jinyoung, what are you doing?”“Jackson, you are riled up right now, I am afraid that you are going to hit Bambam at this rate, calm down.”Jackson grew stiff in in Jinyoung’s hold, the warmth that Jinyoung had spread in his heart, suddenly turned to piercing cold, he could feel it stabbing at his heart. He gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw, “You must be kidding me,” he whispered under his breath.“Y-You, just what do you see me as?” Jackson heard his voice breaking before he felt it, that made Jinyoung let go of him in a beat, his hands flew over Jackson’s cheek holding them in place, Jackson’s eyes were stuck to the ground, not meeting Jinyoung’s worried eyes.“Seunnie, what’s wrong?”Why was he getting emotional? For fks sake, it was pathetic how weak he has gotten. If Jackson were to blame it on someone, it must be the damn meds. Jaebum’s defensive stance broke as he saw Jinyoung fussing over Jackson, he looked over Bambam who had a guilty look on his face.Jaebum’s glare was now directed to Bambam, “What did you do?”Bambam’s eyes were going all over the place, going from Jackson to Jinyoung, then back to Jackson, finally to Jaebum, “I-I..” As if a cat his ate his tongue, no words were coming out from Bambam’s mouth.Jackson shook Jinyoung off, “I’m okay,” he murmured before going to towards Bambam, Jaebum blocked him once again, “Don’t worry, hyung. I’m not going to touch a hair on his pretty little head,”Jaebum looked hesitant, Jackson felt his patience wearing off, just what the hell did he do to deserve this; “Just give me Yogi back, please.”Jaebum plucked off the doll from Bambam’s hand which grew extremely slack, it was a miracle that the puppet didn’t fall off Bambam’s hand. Jaebum returned the doll to his rightful owner, making Jackson sigh in relief. As if the strength came back into his system, his ally was once again back on his side, he glared at the older.The coldness in his chest, shifted to something hot, burning his insides, he was so done with bottling his feelings, that he couldn’t control the unfamiliar emotion that erupted from within him. Anger felt foreign as it ran in his veins.“How dare you treat me like a savage,” His glare threw Jaebum off, “H-Huh?” then he directed his glare towards Bambam, “How many times have I told you to give him back, brat. Touch him again, and I’ll be sure to hit you by then,” His eyes went over Jinyoung and Jaebum, “Because that is what you expect me to do, so who I am to disappoint your expectations!”He clicked his tongue and went back to his seat. Ignoring the shocked audience around him. He might have acted like he was angry with them. Gosh, he still was, but this was the first time for him turn his back on them, shutting them off; his hands were shaking with nervous jitters.He could feel their stares on him, but he continued on ignoring them; waiting for their manager to come and take them home.A soft touch snapped him out of his haze, His eyes fell on the Yogi who sent him a small smile, “If you didn’t do that, I would have smacked the shit out of that damned cat faced brat.”Jackson blinked at him, his brain felt like it was circuited, his mind went blank; Yogi’s voice brought him back to reality. The hotness in his chest went cold once again, from how cold it was, he felt that his organs detaching and waiting for the big drop to happen. His face paled, what the hell did he just do? Oh god, he must apologize, why the hell did he have to go and stand in their faces and shout nonsense. He was in the wrong… right?Yogi was now looking at him openly, worried about the set of emotions that was going on Jackson’s face.“Hey, you okay?” the dog whispered.Jackson dumbly nodded.If all of them were pointing at him, then he is in the wrong, right? His eyes widened in realization. He has committed a great mistake. How could he make it up to them? Jinyoung’s crest fallen face, Bambam’s wide scared eyes, the disappointment on Jaebum’s face.Why did he have to mess up everything, Jackson gnawed his lower lip, how should he make up to them?
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“Are you stupid?”Jackson had to clump the Puppets mouth shut, he made a shushing motion with his finger. They arrived back at the dorm like an hour ago, Jackson didn’t know how to avoid seeing them as they all live together, so he hid in the bathroom.Jackson removed his hand slowly as the dog promised him that he will keep quiet. The dog gave him a punch instead, as he was not allowed to scream his frustration out.Jackson hissed in pain, grabbing his bruised hand, “Why do you keep on punching me?!”“Because you are too stupid for your own sake!” The dog hissed back.Jackson opened his mouth to protest, but this time Yogi hit him straight on the mouth. Jackson rolled in pain, hands shaking over his mouth. He wanted to yowl in pain, but his lips were burning from the punch; he couldn’t even open them.“Now listen to me,” Yogi ordered, standing on the toilet’s seat. His stuffed hands on his hips, seriously, why the hell does a stuffed toy gets to act all commandry for? “No matter how you look at it, those fools were in the wrong.”“B-but,”“No BUTS,” Yogi growled out, but Jackson ignored the warning in his tone, “BUT they were all against me, and it is not only one of them, but all. They were protecting Bambam for a reason, I could have hurt Bam today!” His head hung low between his legs, tears stinging his already glassy eyes.“Who said that?” Yogi asked confusedly, “Getting angry doesn’t mean that you will resort to violence.”“But they-”“It is not about them, it is about you! Were you going to hit that stick boy?”“No, I couldn’t. I would never do that,” Jackson answered back firmly.“Then, do you see who’s in the wrong, all the brainless bunch,” Yogi pointed at the door, where the members were sitting in the living room, “Why are you in the wrong when you only wanted to protect what is yours?”“But all of the-”“Being out numbered doesn’t mean you are in the wrong, Jackson,” Yogi’s voice grew softer, his tone matching the one used to talk to a young child, “If everyone points at you, that doesn’t mean you are in the wrong. They were just too blind to see the truth, so never yield to other’s belief, you listening, kid?”Jackson’s lower lip was jutted out, “I don’t want to fight with them, they are like a family to me, I don’t want to cause a drift between us,”“Sometimes it is important to not yield to your close ones, to make them notice that you are not okay with how the things are going. You are not just there to go with what they want, it takes two people to make the relationship go right, so never yield your rights and let idiots trample all over you.”Jackson nodded absentmindedly, it was kind of hard to believe that he was not in the wrong, but maybe he was yielding his rights after all of this time.He looked at Yogi who was still observing him concernedly, “Yogi, I just feel so drained.” Emotionally and physically, Yogi didn’t comment, he jumped off the seat and grabbed the discarded pill.“Swallow the meds, stress won’t do you good, so forget it,”Jackson nodded, swallowed the bitter pills down his throat. “I think imma head to the bed,” Yogi nodded and jumped into Jackson’s hand. He exited the bathroom only to bump into Mark.He nodded silently at the boy, and pivoted around the American, but Mark held him back by the wrist.“I need to talk to you,” The way Mark spoke made it clear that he won’t accept no for an answer. Jackson rubbed his face tiredly, “Can’t we do this tomorrow?”“No now,” his stare hardened at the younger, Jackson nodded at the boy. Mark let go of his hands and went out of the dorm. That was his cue to follow him out. A feeling in his gut just told him that he won’t like what he’ll be hearing.Mark was waiting for him on the rooftop, he looked up at the night sky, that was clear from any clouds. He wished that his heart was also clear of his never-ending worries, sometimes, when he is at his lowest moments, a fleeting thought hits him; is living worth it?He was not suicidal by any means, but sometimes it is just hard to continue living when you are having hard time feeling alive.His eyes fell on Mark’s tense expression, “What’s up?”“What’s up, what’s up? What is wrong with you?! Are you trying to sabotage the relationship between all of us?! You were clearly in the wrong, why would you go off like that on poor Bam; and you even hurt Jinyoung, the person closest to you!”His heart felt heavy, seriously, why were they blaming him, “Why are you blaming me? How am I in the wrong?”“You dare to ask,” Mark was getting riled up, his faced reddening in anger, “You went off on Bam!”“Why what did I say, I just told him to give what belongs to me back,” Jackson’s voice was devoid of any emotions in contrast with how Mark’s voice was increasing a decibel per word.“He just took that stupid toy, big deal, you don’t get to scare him like that,”“Excuse me?” Jackson rose his eyebrows at the older, “Dude are you hearing yourself? You saw that he took it without my permission, and you are condoning his actions? Come on, man. He might be some stupid toy to you guys, but Yogi is my life line!”Jackson screamed his frustrations out, his chest constricting in pain, “Kid, calm down,” Yogi hissed, he feared that Jackson’s heart would stop from how red his face had gotten, and his breath shortening unevenly; as in an asthma attack.“Life line? Are you kidding me, how can a plushie be a life line?!”Their voices were getting louder, making the meerkats that were hiding behind the door emerge in hurry.Jinyoung and Jaebum separated the two, “Jackson, back off!” Jaebum growled out, sheesh, he was not even in the personal space of the older.“Jaebum, Jinyoung, what are you guys doing here?”Jackson scoffed at the surprised look on Mark’s face, “We were just worried when the two of you left the dorm, so we followed you guys,” Jinyoung eyed Jackson warily, he wanted to inch closer to the blonde, but Jackson was oozing off a don’t-come-near-me aura. Jaebum ignored all of the signs and grabbed the Chinese, pulling him towards him, his jaw making an appearance; “You, stop your bullsht, can’t you stay put for a second?!”Jackson went limp into his hold, his expression was covered by his sweaty locks, which perfectly fell over his eyes.“You ask how Yogi is my lifeline,” the fire in his eyes didn’t diminish, he glared directly at Mark, who was gathered into Jinyoung’s arm. Sheesh, one would think that Mark is the one who was verbally attacked.“In a way that you can never be that is for sure,” He spit out. Mark blinked stupidly at him, “Seriously for whose sake am I even doing this for,” Jackson murmured under his breath, he tried shaking off Jaebum, but he still had a vice grip on his wrist, “Hyung, let go; you are hurting me.”Jaebum looked quizzically at him, “You say you are hurting? Then, that might help you in feeling the pain you are inflicting on others. First, it's Bambam and now Mark, seriously what is wrong with you, what are you trying to reach, destroying our hard work for the sake of your own selfishness?”Jackson bit his lower lip, don’t cry, don’t cry, “Leggo, hyung.”“No I won’t, just why are you causing trouble here and there, seriously with you gone in those six months, we didn’t have any conflicts and everybody was happy, it would have been better if you-?!”“Jaebum- hyung, that is going too far!” Jinyoung exclaimed, shutting the older up before the leader could further hurt his teammate. Mark mirrored the disapproving look Jinyoung had on his face. Jaebum scratched the back of his neck and eyed the unusually silent blonde.“I’m sorry,” Jackson finally broke his silence, Jinyoung rushed towards the duo, with Mark trailing after him. Jaebum finally set Jackson’s wrist free, the latter cradled his wrist gently as if he was burned.“As long as you don’t repeat it,” Jaebum added one last time, now all of the three were waiting for Jackson to give a comeback, but he kept on rubbing his bruised wrist.“Jaebum how hard were you holding onto his wrist, look at how red it have become,” Mark punched the leader’s shoulder, Jaebum awkwardly shifted in his place. Jinyoung rushed to his friend, touching the scalded skin, instead of feeling the warmth from Jinyoung’s touch, a painful electrifying sensation ran over his bruised wrist which caused for Jackson to withdraw his hand from Jinyoung’s touch.Jinyoung’s hand hovered in the air, shocked by how fast Jackson retracted his wrist, “Jackson?”The blonde chuckled nervously, “I feel so sorry for myself,” Jinyoung frowned at that, “Jackson what’s wrong, you are really acting weird…”"Me oh nothing, it is getting late and I’m tired, if you have anything else to say, say it now since I’m heading to bed,” A fake smile bloomed on Jackson’s face, from how fine the blonde was acting, the others relaxed except for Jinyoung; who reached for Jackson once again, but the blonde avoided him, and through a gritted smile he said, “Don’t touch me,”Jackson blinked stupidly, that came out accidentally. He clicked his tongue in irritation, what a mess...“What?” Jinyoung frowned, he backed off from Jackson like he was burnt, the rejection did a number on Jinyoung, Mark gave a disapproving look to the English speaker, “Jackson you are being a pain in the ass by how sensitive you are getting.”Oh well, since he had already ruined his chance in getting out of this without a fight, Then...“Being sensitive and insensitive is a whole different matter,” Jackson countered back through his gritted grin that actually was starting to look like a grimace.“Since none of you have anything to add, I’m excusing myself off!” Jackson ignored the glares he received and acted like he didn’t hear Jaebum calling after him. He didn’t want the night to end on bad note, but if he stayed a minute longer he feared that hate will grow in his heart.And he would never be able to look at them the same way, his once family, if the seed of hatred in his heart were to grow.…. Jackson entered the dorm, the maknaes were awake, waiting anxiously for the members return. He avoided making eye contact with them, Bambam opened his mouth, but Jackson moved passed him towards his shared room.“Hyung, wait!”“Not tonight,” he tried to neutralize his voice to make it devoid of the storm of emotions that is wrecking his insides. Jackson gave one tight smile to them before slamming the door shut.He slid down the door, his tears finally were set free, just why the hell was nothing working out?! He hid his face into his shaky hands, and the idea of dying didn’t sound so bad right now.
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The days passed with no problems, Jackson avoided being in the same space as the others as long as he could. It reached to the point where he would not see them only if they had a schedule together.His quest in gathering the confetti was brought to a halt, somehow every person he met seemed to brim with happiness; which if he was to be honest was quite annoying. Two months has passed since the fight with the hyung line. Their relationship was super awkward, the maknaes in the first few weeks tried to patch up the cracks, but Jackson neither the others were willing to talk it out, so in the end they gave up. Bambam was avoiding Jackson too, the discomfort was shown clearly on the younger face, boy was he terrible at masking his emotions.Today marked their last day in promoting their title song; somehow, all ended without a stir of huge problems. Jackson softly cradled the glass jar; frowning at the single confetti laying innocently. They were once again sitting in the waiting room, waiting for their manager to wrap up and pick them up.No matter who helped, no confetti was added, he somehow came to figure out how this game works. Genuine happiness is the only valid explanation; the one Chan felt at that night. How the hell can he find someone in such a state? Jackson sighed, feeling troubled.His phone vibrated in his lap, his eyes grow darker at the caller, he switched his device off. Jackson was kind of ignoring the calls from the hospital, it was regarding his blood transfusion and detoxification. He felt perfectly fine, the blonde might have felt dizzy here and there, but he was doing fine. The pills have improved his health, so he doesn’t see the point in staying hours or even being hospitalized in the hospital.“You need to go, how much of a dumb, stupid, dumb-ball are you going to be?!”“You said dumb twice,” Jackson grinned cheekily at the fuming dog who was whisper-shouting in his ear. Mark’s curious glance fell on him, but he soon averted his eyes when they came in contact with Jackson’s.Jackson smacked the dog’s head, “Sometimes, I really regret saving your ass that day,”“Who saved whose ass, if that twig of a boy had held me for one more second I would have whooped his sorry ass.” Yogi growled at the memory, Jackson mused as he remembered Yogi’s stiff, but full of rage façade. That was kind of true, he could see Yogi breaking Bam’s neck. Sheesh, those idiots should be thankful to him, he saved their second youngest from a painful injury, but oh no, they had to go batshit crazy on him.A knock rung through quiet room, Yugyeom jumped on his feet and rushed towards the door. Their maknae seemed relieved to break away from the unbearable tension in the room. He opened the door in a rush, “Who’s there?” Yugyeom exclaimed, he stilled for a second before his head went tilting to the side, “Huh, who are you?” The maknae stated happily, crouching to the kid’s eye level.Everybody looked at their guest, Yugyeom cooed at the adorable girl standing in front of him, “How did you make it here, are you lost?”The kid still remained silent, her long black hair swished along with her movements, she shied away from Yugyeom’s hand. Not letting him ruffle her hair, her face was devoid of any emotions, her full lips opened before closing again.Bambam trotted towards the maknae, “Who is it Yug?” His eyes sparkled as he took in the stoic child, “Wooahh, so cute!”Jaebum rose his head, taking in the excited states of the maknae’s and then to the shadow of the girl who was engulfed by the frame of the giant maknae.From where Jackson was seated, he can see the child clearly and it had hit him then, the reason why the kid looked extremely familiar. It was Chan’s sister, her thin eyebrows started meeting together in a slow motion, the maknaes didn’t get the hint of her discomfort, and they were crowding the girl, forcing her to take a couple of steps back.Jackson moved from his seat, attracting curious glances from Jinyoung who was supposedly reading his book. He ignored the alarmed looks coming from both Yugyeom and Bambam, they even tried to grab the child away from his side, but in their faces, the child avoided their touches like a plague, her mouth moved into a frown. Her back hit Jackson’s leg, her face morphed into panic and she jumped in fright, before looking up black eyes clashing against his brown orbs.“Hannah, right?” he asked, the look of recognition shone on her face, Jinyoung was weirdly close to him, Jackson eyed Jinyoung who held him in a staring contest. Well, would you look at that? Curiosity is killing the vocalist, oh,Jackson was so going to ignore him like how Jinyoung did. Victory tasted so sweet, he was deluded in his own fantasies, small hands grabbed his pants, tugging him with all her strength. Hannah looked with bright eyes at him.His eyes softened, and he flicked her forehead. “Hannah, wanna talk outside?”She pouted before nodded fervently. He ushered her outside and closed the door behind him, away from the other’s shocked looks.….Jackson stirred the tea in front of him, he looked at the kid in front of him who didn’t touch the plate of cookies in front of her. He sipped the hot tea, don’t kid like cookies? Hannah was looking deeply at… his eyes followed the track of her sight and it was Yogi; who was eyeing the cookies.Jackson snorted, if he remembered by the end of their talk, he’d buy the pup cookies too.“His name is Yogi,” he pointed lazily at the stuffed toy, hesitant black eyes fell on him, “Y-Yogi?”“Weird name, right?!” Jackson grinned and avoided the hard glare coming from the dog, “Wanna hold him?” He amusedly offered.Yogi might curse him, but the smile he received was worth it.…“So are you ready to talk?”“Yes,” She nodded, a little comfortable with him, she started nibbling on the cookies, “Why did you come to see me Hannah? If it is your brother, I can take you to him,”Hannah shook his head, “I don’t have someone to talk to about this, and I can’t talk about this with oppa or Lucas,”“So, you came to find me?”Jackson hopes that this talk won’t be about menstruation because he knew close to nothing about it. His hand clammed with sweat, Yogi still being embraced by the child, was close to falling asleep.“Chan oppa talked so much about you, so I figured I’d find you.” She nodded to herself as finally she took a bite off the cookie, a smile broke her stoic expression.“And it wasn’t hard sneaking in,” She cockily said, “the security guards were…let’s say easy to fool,”Jackson nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips, he urged her to continue and she did, “I.. It is just…Chan oppa is working so hard, so hard that it hurts looking at him,” She started pulling at Yogi’s floppy ears, she continued while muttering, “and those dark circles under his eyes are scary…”The cookie in her hand reduced to crumbles from how hard she was squeezing them, “If only there was one of us, it would have been much easier on him and he won’t have to spend time working nonstop,”Yogi stiffened in her arm, casting a glance at Jackson’s frown that was rapidly growing, “What do you mean?” Jackson placed down the cup of hot tea, it lost its soothing affect.“Is suicide a bad thing?” She looked at him with those big black eyes, in front of him was a child that was desperate to ease her loved ones pain, “I don’t want to die, but if I live that will be selfish, and I’m not someone special, just a child with no talents and is a burden on my most important person… So the world won’t lose anything, and if I don't do it, Channie might die from overworking” she muttered the last sentence under her breath.She played with her fingers, her eyes stuck to the plate, head down as if she felt ashamed just thinking about that thought.“If you die, Channie would be sad,”Hannah shook her head, “Sadness is a temporary thing, and Lucas is there to fill the gap I’ll leave,”Jackson’s hand trembled as he held the cup that had grown cold, it was cruel how fate works, one was trying do everything to stay alive, while the other was trying to find a reason to die.The irony, it was like a slap to his face, “Have you talked about this to Channie?”Her neck snapped from how fast she rose her head, she looked at him with the most betrayed look she could muster, “You are going to tell him?!”“He should know about this, Hannah,” Jackson warily chose the next words carefully, she was a feet out from fleeing from this conversation.“CHAN SHOULD NEVER KNOW ABOUT THIS!” she shouted, gathering the attention of the other costumers.“You are planning to die without tell him goodbye?” Jackson furrowed his eyebrow, then he sighed, “Anyways, nobody is dying tonight,” Then he pointed at the kid, “And if you think by dying you could free Chan from his responsibilities; then you are absolutely wrong. This would break him, knowing that the reason behind your choice was because of him all along.”Hannah shoved her face into Yogi, the girl's back started shaking, “Then what am I supposed to do?”“To live, when life gives you lemon, you throw it back at the heavens because you are capable of pulling your shit together. This phase would pass, maybe not now, but someday it will; so don’t lose hope. Besides, if you were to go, I’d cry buckets; and lemme tell you I am an ugly crier.”Her eyebrows knitted in a cute knot, making the pout on her face more visible, “But you don’t know me,”“It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be sad if you are gone, I would even feel that it is my fault if you died,” Jackson allowed the sadness to show on his face, her frown got even deeper; “You can’t guilt trap me like that,”Jackson grinned at her, “Well I’m sorry, but adults play dirty,” She scowled at him, “And…If it’s that hard to live then find something to live for,”“And what if I can’t find it?” Her black eyes spoke volume about how intent she was on her decision. “Then think about me who is willing to do everything to stay alive,”Jackson gave her a bright grin, “Think of you who is already alive?”“Think of me who is walking slowly to his deathbed, and I would hate you to the bones if you threw away something as precious as your life” Jackson corrected her, she blinked confusedly at him. “Are you dying?”“Sooner or later,” his grin grew bigger as she crossed her arms, and scowled at him, “Now you are just pulling my legs!”He swirled the cold tea, yuck, he was not drinking that, “Know that you were born for a reason; you may not know it now, later in life you would discover more about yourself, and I seriously think that nobody could replace you in this whole world, you are your own unique person.”Jackson finally met her stare and smiled oh so sadly at the girl who covered her face, tears running down her face, “And if you needed saving, I’m just a call way; I promise to be your shelter for as long as you need,”
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“Who was that?”It was the first sentence Jinyoung spoke to him after ignoring him for two months straight, “Hello to you too,”“Yeah, hello. Who was that?”Jackson eyed him weirdly, before packing his stuff, he came just in time as their manager just announced his presence, Jackson picked the doll that was kinda damp.“Eww, you wetted yourself?”“Shut up, the kid drenched me with her tears,” The dog hissed, apparently a bit too loud because Jaebum turned to him, then rolled his eyes as he saw Jackson conversing the stuffed dog.Over the past month, Jackson had implemented into the member’s heads that he was some loco batshit crazy case, he was seen talking to Yogi in more than one occasion. They always threw him a disapproving look; sometimes disgusted like the one Jaebum throwing him now, he was not crazy for goodness’s sake.“I hope that things will work out for her, she's a sweet little girl. Gosh, if Chan ever knew he’d break down,”The girl was serious, she never talked about her problems, but he could see the bruises on her arms, shoulder and the faint limp in her steps. A brave little warrior, that kid didn’t speak about the bullying or abuse she was facing, but coming to a new country that you were least accustomed to was one of the hardest things ever.The ride on the van left him with bitter thoughts, he hopes that he helped Hannah even a little bit.…“You never answered me, how do you know that little girl?” Jinyoung was insistent till the last minute.“Just a random lost girl, don’t worry about it,” Jackson waved him off as he brushed his teeth. Jinyoung looked at him suspiciously. Calling over Jaebum to join him in interrogating him, “Hyung, Jackson is not telling me from where he knows that kid,”That made all the group gang up on him, “Woah, wasn’t there the whole silent treatment thing going on?” He was trying really hard to not break a smile at the gossipers, seriously, at times like this it was hard to hold them against all of the mistreatment.This was his family, the reason he is living for, “Never mind about that hyung,” Youngjae latched on his arm, “How does that girl know our Jackson- hyung, huh?” He freed his arm, and pinched the chubby cheeks, “Not telling, a man should have a secret or two,”“Man, hyung, it is like I no longer know you, since when did we keep secrets from each other?!” Youngjae whined and Yugyeom joined him.“Yeah, hyung, you are being unfair!”“I am being unfair?” Then what about the time that he was left alone. Nobody to spend time or talk to. He rolled his eyes at him, “No I am not, it is about time that I have secrets of my own, you guys know too much about me that I’m getting worried,” he laughed it off and maneuvered around the members that were blocking the door.“Anyways, I’m hitting the bed, g’nite.”……Days had passed since Hannah came to meet him; he was surprised to find that he was not feeling all cool. He really should go to the hospital, one night he jumped off the bed, rushing to the bathroom, his stomach felt all weird and jumbly, and he vomited out all his stomach contents.Thankfully at that time, the members were all gathered in the living room, with music blasting their ears, so they missed Jackson slamming the door hard.He looked into the mess he made, the smell of the vomit made him vomit even more. Sheesh, what kind of stomach bug is this.Yogi rubbed his back, “Kid, you really need to follow up with doctor, you are getting worse, the pills are no longer effective.”“I’m fine, I just have to increase the dosage,” Jackson groaned as his throat burnt with bile, “You planning to overdose, you idiot. You need to get blood detoxification,”He knew that he had too, but it was such a pain to stay hours in the hospitals; and getting chemotherapy kind of scares him. Since the toxins in his blood is actively mutating his cells and that makes them attack his other cells, it is considered an autoimmune disease in a sense.He wretched more, but nothing came out, his stomach was empty of food; Jackson rested his head against the cold tiles. That felt refreshing, he stood up and gurgled with a mouthwash; ugh, that felt horrible. His hand rubbed the area where he assumed his stomach was and exited the bathroom.He went to the living room, and sat on the couch; how can the couch be comfier than his own bed, that now was a mystery. Seriously, sometimes he would find himself sleeping on the couch, it was kinda easier to sleep on it.His eyes fluttered close, the soul wheezing he did in the bathroom, sucked away all of his energy; maybe, just maybe, he should pay the doctor a visit.…..Their dorm bell suddenly rung, awaking Jackson from his slumber, oh, that was a good nap, he stretched his limbs, he felt slightly better, he looked under his hoodie. Yogi was curled against his stomach, fast asleep, he was as warm as a hot water bottle.He blinked at the blanket that fell off him, when did he cover himself up, he looked at the man sitting next to him. Jinyoung was sitting quietly, turning a page of the book he was reading.He cuddled against the blanket, seriously how he could ever hate his best friend, when he was such a tsundere. Was this a truce, if it was, then he’d gladly accept it. He missed having his best friend back on his side.Yugyeom jumped to the door, rushing like the giant puppy he was, his hair bouncing in the air.He opened the door without checking, which is quite dangerous, he frowned slightly, but his stress lines eased when saw a familiar face.“Chan, what’s up?!”Bambam perked up at the name of his friend, he rushed towards the door. Tackling the stray kid’s member into a hug.Yugyeom chuckled at the off guarded look on his face, but Chan didn’t seem to mirror the happy expression, he actually looked troubled, his eyebrows were pinched up.“Chan is something wrong?” Bam’s happy mood soured in a minute, a look of worry had overtaken his face. He ushered the Australian inside, Yugyeom looked worried too, and looked back at Jaebum who was watching them curiously.“Jaebum-hyung, it is fine if Chan comes in, right?”“Yeah, get him in,” Jaebum agreed, the chic and cold leader looked slightly concerned at how defeated the other was looking. Mark smiled kindly, “If you need to talk in private with Bambam, we can give you space,” he pointed at the door, that they were willing to go into their rooms to give him space.Chan shook his head, “No, how can I do that?” His voice started breaking, his eyes reddened in less than a minute. Bambam gathered Chan in his arms, “Hey, hey, Chan what’s wrong, talk to me, please?!”Chan’s eyes fell onto Jackson, and the Chinese blinked stupidly for a minute, before recognizing the look, it was the same one he had that night. So, it is about his siblings. Jackson stomach churned once again. So, Hannah must have talked to him, probably. Jackson was etching to pull him aside and ask him what happened, but Bambam was hogging the boy.Jinyoung closed the book he was reading, an unreadable expression on his face, Chan dried his tears in a quick motion, “Sorry about that Bam, I’m okay.” He gave a weak watery smile at the Thailand member. Bambam shook his head, “No, no, you are not okay. You came here for a reason, right?” His face said that you came here to talk to me right, so talk.“Ah yes, I came for;” this time he was not stealing glances at the blonde, now fully staring at him. Now, even Jinyoung’s uncomfortable stare was on him.“Uh, me?”“Jackson-hyung,” Bambam asked confusedly, his face contorted one that suspiciously looked like anger.Jaebum rose in alarm, even Jinyoung’s stare hardened. He has a bad feeling to where this was going to, now his supposed best friend just glares at him, without giving any explanations?“Did…Did Jackson-hyung do something to you?!” Bambam shook his friend shoulder before shoving Chan behind him, like he was protecting him, shielding him away from Jackson. Which looked kinda stupid, Bam might be taller than Chan, but still the latter was wider and had a bigger frame, so he wasn’t really hiding the Australian in any away. Bambam fully glared at Jackson, squaring his shoulder, looking quite ready to exchange fists.“Excuse me?” Jackson incredulously asked, you could see the bewilderment on both Chan’s and his face.“Bambam, what are you on-”“Hyung, how dare you lay a hand on Chan?!” Bambam exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at him, ‘Oh, you must be kidding me,’ Jackson tiredly thought. Not this again, Jackson sighed. Somehow, he didn’t find within himself to fight the raging bull. Sheesh, he felt like vomiting and if he did, he swears to do it on the Thailand’s shoes. Jinyoung held down Jackson’s arm to avoid him from springing and wringing the younger’s neck. The members facilitated between them, trying to keep them apart, Yugyeom embraced Chan like a warm blanket, the boy looked lost, Mark held Bam back, and Jaebum was holding Jackson’s shoulder down. Pinning him in his seat. Youngjae was looking at them all in shock.The funny thing is that Jackson didn’t move an inch from his place, so they were treating him like a wild animal for no reason.Jackson blinked at them stupidly, Chan seemed like he had enough of this, he broke away from Yugyeom’s soft, soothing hug.“Wait, wait, Bam. I don’t know what’s going on, but I think you have the wrong idea here!” Chan exclaimedThat grabbed the attention of Jinyoung who tightened his hold on Jackson’s forearm, Jackson so wanted to slap the offending hands on him, but he didn’t have the energy to fight back, so he just sat back and took in what is happening around him.“Jinyoung-hyung, Jaebum- hyung please let go of Jackson, you are being ridiculous right now,” And then his stare hardened on Bam who was panting heavily against Mark. “Bam, you were way out of line, how could you just lash out on hyung like that,”“But you said that you had to talk to Jackson-hyung!”“And so?!”“Then that means he must have done something to you!?” Bambam exclaimed loudly, his voice getting hoarse from all of the shouting.“Yeah, well he did!” Chan fought back, he was getting hot headed.‘Dude you are not helping!’ he inwardly screamed, Jackson feared for his limbs, as Jaebum’s and Jinyoung’s hand were not really that gentle.“Look, I told you so, Hyung, how dare you!” Bam’s glare flared tenfold as he directed them towards Jackson, who keep in mind was trying to sooth the pain in his wrist that was feeling quite numb, “Loosin’ up,” Jackson grumbled, and the nerve, Jinyoung straightly ignored him. “Best friend, my ass” Jackson said under his breath, Jinyoung flinched for a moment, oh, so he can hear him, good lord.He turned to Jaebum who’s stare was ice cold, ooh, that was tenfold scarier than Bambam’s, so he simply turned and faced Bambam’s tomato colored face, now where were we, ah yes, “So he can’t do something nice for me?!” Chan exclaimed, and that had shut up Bambam’s ongoing crap.Both Jinyoung and Jaebum’s hands grew slack the second Chan spoke, Jackson retreated his hands from their holds, massaging his red wrist, “Well, that was fun,” Jackson exclaimed. He ignored the look he received from Jinyoung, Chan was at lost to what he supposed to do, his shoulder was slumped, he looked defeated.Jackson sighed, he stood up and knocked on Chan’s head, “Let’s talk outside,” Jackson didn’t spare any of them a glance and headed outside, he felt so tired, and he didn’t do anything. Just how can he fix this dilemma. Maybe it was better to just leave it.He waited by the door, right outside their dorm. Chan looked at the closed door, then he turned to back to Bambam, “How can you treat someone as special as Jackson-hyung like this?”Bambam flinched at the accusing tone, “Sorry, I thought he had hurt you,”Chan’s eyes softened at his friend, Bam had the best intension, but the worst methods. “It is not to me who you should apologize to, it is hyung,” the Australian sighed as he patted his friend’s shoulder. He bowed to the other members before leaving the room, following Jackson out of his room.….“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that Hannah came to see you,” Chan sat beside Jackson, they were at the rooftop, enjoying the sunset, “That girl she seem levelheaded, but Hannah has a lot on her plate, right now. To know that she talked to you, but not to me makes me feel… helpless,”Chan covered his eyes, wiping away the tears that are falling freely, he felt frustrated. What kind of older brother he is when he his own family would seek other people for help, “I’m trying so hard to get us all together, but it is not working out.”Jackson watched the orange tinted sky, it was such a beautiful day, “I mean my own sister, won’t to talk to me about her problems, but comes to you,” The ugly emotions, envy, anger, sadness started spilling from the younger.“Don’t think that I am replacing you, no, when she sought me out, it was because I was your friend. She didn’t know who can she talk to, and it is always easier to tell your troubles to a stranger than to a close, loved one.” Jackson scratched Yogi’s floppy ear, the dog relaxed against the touch.“That girl since the beginning she was thinking about you, all she talked about was you Channie,” The blonde remembered the grief on that little child’s face, she was a kid for god sakes, “She felt that she was a burden to you and though if she were to-”Jackson stopped talking there, he looked at Chan who had worry striking his face; should he tell him about the suicide thing? He looked at the dog, trying to send him his thoughts through telepathy. It was up to no avail. Yogi continued on napping.“She would never be a burden to me, what gave her such an idea?!” Chan looked as offended as how he sounded, Jackson ran his fingers over the dog’s forehead, “Things are changing too fast for her, she is a foreigner in her own homeland, so it must have stressed her out. And you look too out of it,”Chan’s shoulder rose in defense, “What do you mean, I tried my hardest to provide for them, I’m trying my best to give them the best lif-”Jackson clapped him on the back and grabbed him in a side-hug, “You are trying too hard and she is worried. Hannah mentioned about your eye bags, and wow they look as if they were tattooed,”Chan grabbed his hoodie and pulled over and down his forehead, covering the bruising purple under his eyes.“What am I supposed to do then?” He whined, burrowing deeper into Jackson’s side, “Nothing, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing you can do except for working hard.”Jackson felt his shirt damping, he looked down at Chan who was crying silently, “But you know I’ll always be here for you, I can watch over them too if you want,”“Hyung why are you doing this?”“Because making you happy is my top priority,” Which was not a lie. He paid no heed to that wet patch on his shoulder which was getting wetter and wetter. His hands went back to petting the dog on his lap, and he wondered why such misfortune keeps falling on people who don't have a shred of evilness in them.
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He never expected the call to come, Jackson has just finished recording. They were working on their new album. The blonde finally could take a breather, so he was laying lazily on his bed when his phone rang.He looked at the caller ID, and rose in alarm, hitting his head against the ceiling.“Oucch,” He groaned in pain, massaging the bump that was appearing in hi forehead. “Hello, Hannah?”What met him was silence, which he didn’t expect, he called out to her again, but the kid didn’t answer. Something didn’t sit right, he looked over his phone, maybe she called by mistake?“Hannah? You there?” Jackson pursed his lips in thought, maybe she called him by mistake.“Oppa,” the childish voice broke through, Jackson gulped in fear. Her voice was empty, devoid of emotions even when it started cracking. “I-I-”“Where are you?”He knew deep in his guts that something was wrong, and it was time to uncover the truth.…….Jackson grabbed the snoring dog, shoved him in his hoodie pocket. Then ran out of the apartment.Sadly, he crashed into Bambam as soon as he opened the door. He would have lost his footing, if not for the firm hand that kept him from head bumping the ground.Jackson shook his head from the dizziness, he rose his head up, “Woah, sorry didn’t see you there,”Not noticing Bambam was the one who broke his fall, “Hyung, why are you in a rush?”Jinyoung appeared right next to Bam, looking concerned. Ok, that explains the empty apartment. The members trickled out of the elevator, gathering behind Bambam.“Hyung, where you headed too? It’s late,” Bambam continued, would you look at that the sneaky brat was finally talking to him. Still holding him in place, he pried the hands gently off him.“I’ll be gone for a few hours, no worries.” Jackson waved off the concerns coming from Bambam.“Where are you going?” Jaebum asked, throwing his arm over the second youngest member. Jinyoung narrowed his eyes at the blonde, Jackson felt annoyance treading dangerously under his skin.“Meeting a friend, anyway I need to go, see you later!” Jackson moved away, only to be held back by Jinyoung.‘You must be kidding me, I don’t have the time for this,’“Jinyoung, I’m in a hurry.” Jackson tried to move away, but the younger didn’t budge. Not making it easier for Jackson to mask his annoyance; which made the grip to tighten on him, “Jinyoung, you are hurting me. Leggo, I really need to go.”Thankfully, the younger got the clue even though he was reluctant to let go, but he finally did.…He hurried to the location Hannah had told him, sheesh, what’s up with those siblings. Why would they choose to hide in such secluded areas. He found the object he was looking for, There he found payphone booth, it was placed under the only street lamp in the park. He knocked on the glass door.Hannah, was huddled against the corners of the phone booth.He knocked the on door, waiting for her to recognize his presence. The girl banged her head against the phone, Jackson apologetically smiled. The girl looked relieved, the blonde noticed the tear tracks on her petite face.Hannah opened the door in hurry, which smacked the glass door directly to his face, Hannah didn’t notice what she had done as soon as she was out of the phone booth, she tackled Jackson who was groaning from the pain, and trying to stop the nosebleed.The child bursted into tears as she shoved her head into the crook of Jackson’s neck.The blonde sighed, as he gathered the child in his arms, somehow relieved, he expected to meet a bloody mess. Jackson blinked, he feels that there was something that he is forgetting.A painful punch to his gut, refreshed his memory. Ah, it was that.Jackson with shaky legs, headed towards the nearest bench, Yogi was not holding back at all. The little dog has been continuously punching his stomach. Jackson finally arrived to the bench, with not a thought in his mind he threw the wailing child on it, and grabbed the dog who was continuously moving his iffy little muppet hands, pulling out of his hoodie’s pocket.Jackson’s eyes widened, the little mf was asleep and he was throwing punches unconsciously. What kind of sorcery is this? He felt a vein popping, with all his might he yeeted the dog out of the park, diving into the furthest bush.“O-oppa, are you mad?” Hannah broken voice, it bought Jackson back to reality.The man, shook his head, afraid to turn his head towards the kid who was bawling her eyes out. He kinda handled the girl carelessly, throwing her like piece of a rug.“Oh, no,” He crouched to the eye level of the kid, wiping away the stray tears with end of his sleeve. “It is not you, there was a… bug, biting my skin” He ruffled the silky straight hair.“Enough about that, what happened?” He grabbed her hands and squeezed them tightly, “do you want to talk about it?”The block locks fall over her eyes, “I think it is better for me to die after all,”Jackson was suddenly so happy that he arrived in time. “Oh, kid, what happened.”“L-Last week, C-Chanie fainted,”Jackson blinked stupidly, he did? Weird, he didn’t receive any news about it. “He is overworking himself, and, and…”The child bit her lower lips, “and the money…”Jackson frowned, yes, he knows that all of Chan’s money goes to the kids, “What about the money?”“On a monthly basis, oppa is depositing money to the foster lady, and…and,” Her eyes started welling with tears.“And what, Hannah speak!” Jackson stood up, he has a good idea what she is about to say.“We never received it,”That damn foster lady, “Is the foster stealing your money?”“S-stealing, that?!” Hannah stood up, shaking her head, tremors shook her body. Now the bruises made sense, she was holding onto her body, shielding away her faces.“Did they hit you too?”Hannah broke down once again. Drowning in her own tears. Oh, god. Jackson gathered the child into his arms.He needs to take an action, but what would be the right thing to do now. He thought for a minute before deciding on the next step.“Hannah, dear, we need to tell your brother.”….Once the word sank in the child’s head, she closed off. Refusing to hear any single word coming from Jackson. Even knowing that what the Chinese man is telling her is the right decision. The raven head refused this approach.She squeezed the fabric tightly, what was the point of telling her brother? That would only bring more pain to him.“Hannah, c’mon we have to tell him.”Keeping Chan safe was her safest priority, things has just turned around for lucas, her baby brother. Happiness rushed through her veins when she saw her baby brother getting along with the other kids, so it was fine; if she had to forsaken her own safety if it means that she was keeping her family safe and together.Lucas was safe from the evil wrinkled hands, they may sometimes forsaken his dinners, but never strike him. That meant that at least he was favored, and it meant the world to her, that no tears were spilled from those big ebony orbs; even if her skin turned redder as the days passed.“No, you can’t do that!” Hannah gripped Jackson’s shirt, and pushed herself up, denying every tired bone in her body that pushed her to dive into the warmth.“Hannah…”“I’ll curse you to death, if you inform my brother,” The raven head stared at him through her blurry vision; she didn’t know if it was the tears or the blinding headache.Large hands rested on her shoulders, stopping the world from swaying, “I managed to keep both Lucas and Chan safe from her, it is nothing I can’t handle.”The man opened his mouth before closing them momentarily, “And why-Why should you handle it?”White anger blinded her vision, she shook off the hands that were the only source of warmth in this cruel night.“Are you telling me to abandon them? How could you suggest something so selfish, I thought that you’d be able to understand me, but no you were… from the start you wer…”Hannah hanged her head down in defeat, she slowly raised her eyes to meet with concerened ones.“You were different…” She whispered, “Different from the caregiver, brother and lucas,”She watched the older blinking at her with his mouth hanging open, a stupid expression if she could describe it; “Umm, in a bad way?”“Bad..Bad,” the word rolled distastefully of her tongue; “Yes, you are a bad influence on me, you-you make me want to-”Hannah’s words got stuck in her throat, she gagged against the dryness of her mouth, shaking her head, no longer wanting to be in the warm embrace of Jackson’s arms.“Hannah, please,”Big ebony eyes grew glassy as she stopped fighting the man infront of her; she tiredly slumped against Jackson’s chest.“You make me want to continue living on; meeting you had made me think that maybe just maybe there was still hope for me to have happiness; alongside my loved ones; that me wanting to live on is not selfish at all.”