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There was something different about the way he looked at you. It left you with a feeling that often chilled you to the bone; the innate sense that something was amiss yet you couldn’t describe just what it was.At the first sight of Shiro, you thought you had seen a hallucination, one that everybody else was also collectively experiencing as they rushed past you with his body limp between them.Yet, he still saw you and mustered a brittle smile that cracked his dry lips. His fingers reached into the air, extended fully and aimless as they trembled. You only watched unblinkingly as the glimmer in his eyes dulled and his awareness fled him.From across the room, you managed to catch Allura’s pointed sidelong stare. You shifted your weight and turned away, taking long strides through the metal doors to avoid her probing your mind.“I’m surprised you’re not in the stasis bay with Shiro,” came Pidge’s inquisitive observation, her lips jutted and eyes narrowed as she leaned closer towards you. “Don’t you want to be the first one he sees when he wakes up?”“Hmm…”Pidge frowned at your near inaudible response, yet like Allura, said nothing else.In spite of your apprehension, your legs had carried you the length to the stasis bay and anchored you before his capsule. His hair had grown long, swirling around him as though tentacles sprawling from a black octopus. A dark scruff had started to shadow his typically chiseled features, and he simply looked worn.Had it not been for his semblance of a smile, a gesture of reassurance to ease your the questioning churning in your head, you would not have thought him as the same man you so dearly cherished. After those countless nights haunted by his face, nestled tightly in blankets that lingered with his scent, you couldn’t understand why this was so difficult for you to grasp. This was what you had wanted all along, after all, for the warmth of his blankets to be him instead, for his face to be palpable instead of a phantasm.And yet, when the final ticks came, you left the stasis bay as though fire nipped at your heels, faltering only to dare a look across your shoulder in the bleak corridor. “Everybody! Shiro’s awake! Stasis bay asap!” Lance’s hopelessly loud voice blared across every speaker within proximity. You pursed your lips, shrugging off the rush of adrenaline in your veins and continued on towards your chambers.
One knock.
Two knocks.
Three knocks.
Four knocks.
Five knocks.
Six knocks.
“Would you stop knocking! Go away!” you hadn’t meant to raise your voice, but staying true to your demand, the noise ceased and you listened as the gentle footfalls faded down the corridor. You sat on the edge of your hard mattress, fingers grasping at the sheets while fixing your gaze to the pallid floor, scuffing your heels across it. Since Shiro’s apparent awakening, they had been pestering you incessantly–though you suspected that was more work of Pidge and her excitability than anyone else.Just as a breath left your lungs, carrying the worries of your heart, there came another knock at your door.
One knock.
Two knocks.
You didn’t need to hear any more. Without a word, you jolted upright and stormed towards the door, eyes fixated ahead while you fingers skillfully filled a sequence to unlock it. “Stop bothering…” your words snagged in your throat at the sight of the disheveled man before you, braced unsteadily against the frame. “Ta-Taka… Shiro, what are you doing here? Shit, uh, do you need to sit down?”“You… weren’t there with everybody else,” was his simple response. You felt the heaviness of his words, they made your ears burn and you couldn’t will yourself to look him in the eyes. “I missed you so much,” he whispered hoarsely. He passed into your room with long strides as he reached for you, digging his fingertips into your arms as you were guided into his chest. “I remember… I remember seeing you when they brought me in. Barely, but you were–”“Shiro, I think you need…” you strained, attempting to free yourself from his embrace, prompting him to hold you closer. “Look, you need to get some actual rest. W-We can talk later.”“Something isn’t right.” As his voice caressed the shell of your ear, he held you out at arms length. When your eyes leveled to his chest, his hand cradled the side of your face, slowly willing you to lift your chin to meet his gaze. Deep and intense, just as they had always been. Yet, you still felt the prickle on your nape, the hairs rising. “Everything’s fi–”“Are you…are you afraid of me?” Shiro asked, voice tinged with disbelief. You wet your lips and averted your eyes, pretending not to notice the way his shoulders slumped forward and the creases in his face deepened. He let you grip his wrist and take his hand from your face before turning away.The words to refute him weren’t coming. You couldn’t conjure them, couldn’t swallow the lump in your throat. So, instead, you backed away from him, hoping the distance would dissuade him from asking you anything else. It only fueled his confusion. Those steps back were only steps taken until his unsteadiness thrust you both into the wall, his body flush to your own. You felt heat blossom across your cheeks, recalling just how long it had been since you were so close to him. He had noticed the way you withered against him and stuck an arm against the wall, relieving you of his touch yet caging you there with him.“I love you,” he croaked, closing his artificial hand into a fist at your side. He searched your face almost desperately, gauging your reaction. “You have to know that.”“I know, Takashi.” You didn’t know what else to say, and you didn’t have to. Before you could have managed anything else, he ducked his head to press his lips against yours. There was no softness to his parched lips, no tenderness to the kiss. He sought to reaffirm what you told him, searching for a comfort that he starved for.Shuddering at the touch of his cold hand against your nape, he drew you closer to him once more and this time you didn’t move away. You couldn’t will yourself to.Surely, those feelings you had weren’t wrong? You didn’t know.You melted against him.