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nayeon's never liked parties, or bars, or parties at bars. parties are dull and obnoxious, the same few activities and drinks with a handful of different people who alternate in and out of her life at their own pace, some faster than others. bars are too dark (nayeon suffers from night blindness) and stuffy, and she hates the way their toilets smell - either too clean and a little like bleach or like a warzone. she'd rather not play the fifty-fifty game and just skip it entirely. unfortunately, someone she actually cares about is having a party at a bar, and that means that nayeon had had no say in coming here, despite the many (not so) gentle suggestions nayeon had made to jeongyeon when she was planning jihyo's birthday party. ("what about laser tag? jihyo loves laser tag." jeongyeon seems to consider it briefly, and nayeon thinks she might have a chance at swaying her plans, before her friend shakes her head, "no, you and sana are too competitive." "are not!" "are too. remember that fistfight after you lost to her in air hockey?" nayeon grits her teeth, knowing exactly what jeongyeon's talking about. she can't lie, the loss still stings, even three years post-high school graduation. she didn't speak to sana for a week after it happened. "then put the two of us on the same team!" "and let you two kill everyone around you? i don't think so.") nayeon sighs, feeling herself sink into her seat. she kicks the bar in frustration when she realizes that she's trapped. jeongyeon is off talking to a group of her friends, chaeyoung and mina and dahyun, and nayeon knows that said group are her friends too, but... still. she doesn't want to talk to any of them, or really talk, for that matter. she's getting into one of those moods where all she wants to do is sit and brood and curl up into herself. the surroundings are making her skin and carefully selected clothes (they're new, she bought them last week with half her paycheque because she makes hasty decisions and doesn't really factor in the fact that she's a broke college student into her decisions) sticky and she hates to admit it but she's getting stressed out and she really doesn't like the atmosphere in here- "hey." nayeon jumps when jihyo touches her arm. the younger girl settles into the seat beside nayeon, keeping her touch on nayeon and nayeon relaxes, eyes focusing a little. her face must be still screwed into the grimace she felt a moment ago, because jihyo squeezes her arm, running her warm hand up and down nayeon's forearm. "hey," nayeon manages, trying to look anywhere but jihyo. she tries her empty glass, but there's nothing in it and nayeon doesn't want the bartender to think that she needs another drink (the bartender is so far away from her that he wouldn't notice even if she fell over, but-), and then she tries her shoes, but it's dark and nayeon can hardly see her strappy heels by the mood light of this bar. and it's also hard because jihyo is beautiful tonight. she's in a body-hugging white dress with sequins that accentuates her curves, and her makeup, too - she looks something out of a dream, with her smiles and shimmering eyes. (it's not the makeup, even, it's just how happy jihyo is, and it makes nayeon's heart flutter.) jihyo has stunned everyone she's met tonight into either envious or infatuated silence. (nayeon happens to belong to the latter group.) "thanks for coming tonight, unnie," and it rolls off jihyo's tongue so perfectly that nayeon thinks she might cry. "i really appreciate you taking the time to come here. you're okay, aren't you?" and now jihyo sounds worried, even as nayeon smiles weakly in response to her thanks. nayeon has to prevent herself from telling jihyo that of course i came, i wouldn't have missed it for the world. "of course i came, it's not like i had anything on anyway." it comes out with too much apathetic venom and too little mirth, but nayeon doesn't bother rectifying it. jihyo can only hold her attention for so long, keep her out of the abyss for so long before she starts slipping back in. "oh." jihyo looks hurt, but she erases that expression in a moment, opting to smile at nayeon as she punches her lightly on the arm. "hey, you didn't answer my second question. are you okay? do you want to go home?" the look in her eyes is one of genuine concern, and nayeon melts back into obedience and adoration for jihyo. god, what did she do to deserve her presence? nayeon's heart aches, and she wishes it didn't - it's only a reminder of what she can't have. "no, i'm fine." nayeon smiles thinly. "don't worry about me. it's your night." jihyo looks like she might say something else, but then sana calls for jihyo from across the bar, and she looks up, interest piqued. she looks between nayeon and sana, like a lost puppy, and nayeon laughs, ignoring the squeeze in her chest. "go. i'll be fine here." jihyo pouts, but her affections have already shifted. "alright. see you!" and then she's off like a comet into the night, and nayeon feels lonelier than ever. - nayeon sinks into the plush seats of her car, sighing and leaning back as she turns up the radio. it's a station that prides itself on non-stop music (nayeon suspects they just have a shortage of djs), and nayeon brings herself back to planet earth to the tune of two taylor swift songs back to back. she has her nails digging into her thighs the entire eight minutes it takes for her breathing to slow, but it's for the better, and she stares ahead into blank space to get rid of the remaining feeling. she feels dirty, like someone splashed her with tar and scrubbed it into her scalp. she checks the time on her dashboard. it's a few minutes past midnight - she'd only bothered to stay until jihyo blew out the candles on her cake (which dahyun and chaeyoung had rushed out to buy when they realized that they'd forgotten to get one). she wonder what jihyo had wished for. hopefully, it'd been for a ride home, because it's the only reason nayeon is lingering in the parking lot. she spots chaeyoung's minivan pulling out of the lot, the three youngest members of their group waving wildly at nayeon (nayeon can hear edm pumping out of chaeyoung's speakers) before it speeds away. chaeyoung seems to be the only sober one, because there's no way tzuyu would put up with the music otherwise. and with that, she's alone, save for the empty cars in the lot. there's mina's volvo, which gleams even in the dark and in spite of nayeon's night blindness. the moonlight bounces off the white bonnet, illuminating the car in its expensive glory. jeongyeon's fixer-upper of a car is parked several spaces from mina's car, beat-up and looking like it has a mileage going into the millions (the same can be said for nayeon's car), which makes mina look even richer than she already is. she wonders where sana's car is before she remembers that sana and mina live together off-campus. because they're just friends, sana had protested vehemently the last time someone questioned the chasteness of their supposedly platonic relationship. yeah, right. sana and mina are about as platonic as jeongyeon is sober. which is to say, given how high jeongyeon is at any given moment, not at all. there's a bike in the parking lot, too, and someone perched on it. some woman in a leather jacket and a helmet fitted on her head, checking her phone. nayeon peers closer, intrigued by this appearance. this college town is only so big, and she definitely hasn't seen her around before. maybe she's a student, or a passing visitor. the biker's face is illuminated by the screen of her phone, but nayeon can't make out any of her features. she tries, squints harder and leans out of her window, but then the door on the passenger side opens and she's jolted back to the reality inside her car. her heart and cheeks warm when she realizes that it's jihyo. "hey." "hey," jihyo offers, sleepy and warm and she looks as if she's bursting to the seams with happiness. her face is dreamy, and she leans back in the passenger seat, swaying ever so slightly, "can i go back to your place?" nayeon laughs, suddenly in a very good mood. she doesn't know if it's the night air or if it's just jihyo's intoxicating presence, but her heart feels light as she steps on the gas. "please," jihyo whines, sweet and high and uncharacteristic. nayeon's and jihyo's dorm rooms are approximately two doors apart. "sure, sweetheart." - the drive isn't a long one, but it passes through a few lonely roads, roads that have backstories and myths that nayeon would rather not think about right now. she would leave the radio blasting on for moral support, but she turns it down in an effort to let jihyo nap in peace. all she has to count on is herself now, it seems. she takes a shortcut through the path in the middle of the forest. it's a lone strip of road, barren and dry and cutting through the otherwise lush greenery. nayeon would expect more cars to be here, though, seeing that it's a popular route to get back to campus, but she remembers that it's a tuesday night before finals week and that most students wouldn't be caught dead partying at this time of the year. it's nice -- being alone, that is. jihyo doesn't speak, on account of being asleep, and nayeon rests her left palm against the steering wheel as they move through the forest and out into the main road again. that's when she notices the light in her sideview mirrors. she almost thinks that it isn't there for a few seconds when she spots in, but then it comes back, flashing brightly in her mirror this time, and she swallows past a lump in her throat. breathe, she reminds herself, it's probably nothing. you just weren't expecting it to happen. breathe.
she succeeds at breathing for a whole ten seconds before a motorcycle pulls up to go at the same pace at her, and that's when nayeon realizes that it's the woman from the parking lot. the woman from the parking lot is on her bike (how did nayeon not notice her leave the parking lot?), and she's right beside nayeon. nayeon wonders about the merits of screaming now. no one would hear her other than jihyo, and it would just wake jihyo up and then she would have two panicked souls in this car. she's the older one in this situation - on account of jihyo having skipped a year or two in high school - and she forces herself to act like it.
but god, is it easier said than done. she looks straight ahead and tries her very best not to even acknowledge the biker beside her, and floors it. they speed ahead. nayeon watches the needle on the speedometer slide to the right, and takes in the way everything is suddenly coming at her way too fast. she keeps her foot on the gas pedal, though, only relenting when she spots the lights of the traffic junction up ahead. only a little more to go. the motorcycle falls behind after a while, no longer keeping pace with her, and nayeon feels the strange chill that'd crept up her spine dissipate as quickly as it came. she's still on high alert, but she soon realizes that it's gone, that it probably wasn't even following her in the first place. with it comes a newfound sense of relief. that was just a coincidence. no one was following her. she's going to be fine. she looks to jihyo, wanting to laugh and tell her all about the fear that'd gripped her so tightly just now. the girl is still asleep, peaceful as ever, and nayeon feels a sense of pride wash through her. they turn into another road, into a traffic junction, and nayeon sighs happily. she did it! she overcame her crippling anxiety to get them out of a potentially dangerous situation. but she knows that it would never have gotten to that point, because they're safe. they were always safe. out of nowhere, a speeding car comes barreling at them, and nayeon swerves straight into the divider.
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they rock into the divider with a force unparalleled to anything nayeon has ever felt in her entire life. she feels it in slow motion, the force rippling through the bonnet of the car before it shatters the windscree, and then it rushes straight through her, throwing her hard against the dashboard. the airbag fails to inflate, and nayeon lays groggily against the steering wheel, the car coming to a crumpled stop, buried into the divider. her eyelids hurt so, so much, and all she wants to do is close them, and go to sleep. she just hopes that jihyo will be fine-
jihyo!
her eyes shoot open, and she blindly reaches out for jihyo, hands trembling as she does so. the movement is hard itself, because she thinks some glass from her broken window could've cut her scalp and blood is dripping down the side of her face, and it's making her woozy and disoriented. she can hear cars screeching to a stop in the distance, but it's taking so much energy to just remain awake at this point. the airbag on jihyo's side had deployed, thankfully, but jihyo's face is pressed into it. she's been flung forward and her nose is bleeding and goddamnit, goddamnit, is she breathing? nayeon surges forward before she's pulled back by her seatbelt (goddamnit, fuck, is jihyo wearing her seatbelt? was she just thrown forward? why didn't nayeon make sure that she was wearing her seatbelt?). "jihyo," she calls out uselessly. the world spins around her, and nayeon feels bile rise in her throat. she makes it to ripping her seatbelt out of its buckle before everything goes dark. - nayeon wakes up in a room of white. she fades into consciousness gradually, feeling a pressure around her head, and tries to raise her arm to feel her head. it's throbbing. but both her hands been strapped down by her sides, and nayeon struggles against the bonds for a good minute, terrified and silent as she writhes against the straps before feverishly figuring out that they must be there to prevent her from hurting herself. there's an iv in her, feeding a bag that hangs high above her. she sees an air bubble creeping in the tube going into her arm, and feels her heart rate accelerate.
calm down.
she jolts, eyes widening and trying to look for the source of the sound. it hadn't sounded like someone speaking, but that's impossible. maybe this is a byproduct of the crash. maybe the walls in this hospital speak. a shadow leans over her, and nayeon swears that she feels warmth over her face, spreading like the summer heat. go back to sleep, the voice murmurs, and nayeon obeys reluctantly. - she's properly conscious in a day, and she wakes up once again - this time with all her mental faculties intact - to jeongyeon by her bedside. she's on her phone, brow furrowed at whoever she's texting, and nayeon takes the time that she's unaware to take a good look at her. she looks... tired. there are lines on her face, and dark circles around her eyes that speak volumes. nayeon wonders how long she's been here. "i'm alive," nayeon says, or at least tries to, because her voice is scratchy and her throat is dry and goddamnit, how long has she been out? jeongyeon starts, nearly dropping her phone as she lowers it to stare at nayeon. she looks as if she's seen a monster. they stare each other down for a good ten seconds, neither of them wanting to speak first. it always gets a little electric when they do this, mostly because both of them are combative and confrontative and strongly opinionated and really shouldn't be friends in the first place because half of their interactions are arguments. their friend group has been repeatedly split and re-assembled based off nayeon and jeongyeon's fights alone. jeongyeon looks worried sick, and nayeon feels bad for her, for what she's put her through. has she had to alternate between nayeon and jihyo? god, that must have been stressful. but nayeon's determined to win this imaginary conflict, so she raises her eyebrows. (she's relieved that she was able to do that - she'd begun to worry that she'd sustained severe injuries, but it seems that all that happened to her was the bandage wrapped around her head. she's goading jeongyeon on. jeongyeon rolls her eyes, looking less tired now, "god, i can't believe you did this." nayeon clears her throat and swallows. her throat is aching. "did what?" "get into a car accident on jihyo's birthday!" jeongyeon snaps, looking less angry and more mildly inconvenienced. "well, i'm fine now, so you don't have to worry," nayeon shoots back dryly. "don't i?" jeongyeon sighs, sitting back in her chair. nayeon can tell that it's been dragged over to the bedside and that it came from across the room, and that it isn't supposed to be here. touching. "have you forgotten that jihyo was in the car with you?" ice fills nayeon's veins. "no, don't tell me that-" her younger friend shakes her head, "they told me not to break it to you, but i thought you deserve to know." "jeongyeon," nayeon gasps, her eyes filling with tears. then she squints. jeongyeon looks tired, sure, but she doesn't look devastated. which means one of two things: either jeongyeon lost all her emotions overnight, or that she's lying. "yoo jeongyeon!" nayeon growls, trying to lunge out of her bed to tackle jeongyeon to the ground. jeongyeon's in a laughing fit as she scoots away from nayeon, "she's fine, jackass. the doctors said it worked in her favour that she was drunk when the accident happened - drunkenness loosens up the joints, or something. her side of the car took more impact, but you took the brunt of the injuries. she did break her arm, though. and got a bloody nose." the older girl huffs, ego still bruised over having fallen for jeongyeon's slightly cruel prank (but a prank that she totally deserved). "and would you happen to know what's wrong with me?" "how would i know? there's always something going on with you." the worry lines etched into jeongyeon's face are gone, the creases ironed out with a few minutes of interaction, and relief floods nayeon. she has a feeling that jeongyeon is acting stronger and less affected than she actually was, but it doesn't matter now. "get out of my room," nayeon snorts. "just my luck! visiting hours end in ten minutes," jeongyeon sticks her tongue out, standing and picking her backpack up from the floor. "i'm going to check in on jihyo before i go. she probably wants to know that you're no longer unconscious. or hear more of my jokes, i can't tell which." nayeon rolls her eyes, laughing. "send her my regards." "i will," and jeongyeon's off. - apparently, jeongyeon went against protocol and all advice to call the nurses in when nayeon finally woke up, because the nurse that comes in to check on nayeon's vitals almost jumps out of her skin when nayeon grins up at her. the nurse improves on her good mood by telling her that she's due to be discharged by tomorrow if everything goes well. she also tells her that jihyo (who's two doors down) needs to stay a few days longer to make sure that she heals from her concussion properly, but nothing too troubling. "you're amazingly lucky," the nurse comments, ticking boxes off the chart at the base of nayeon's bed. "i don't know much, but the paramedics who brought you in said that your car was absolutely shredded. it's a wonder that you escaped so lightly." the nurse squints playfully, looking like jeongyeon on a good day, "you sure you don't have any supernatural healing powers?" nayeon laughs. (she doesn't mention the motorcycle, or any of the conclusions and links she's drawn.) - jeongyeon: oh yeah i forgot to tell you but you have a new roommatejeongyeon: somi finally transferred to midwestern and they managed to find someone to replace her!! efficiencynayeon: whojeongyeon: no idea - nayeon is discharged the following day at noon, but not without sana and mina showing up with a bouquet of flowers (roses, nayeon thinks that sana might not know what they symbolize) and a foil balloon with the message 'get well soon' on it that's probably geared towards little kids. according to mina, jihyo got an even more embarrassing get-well-soon gift. nayeon doesn't want to know what it is. "professor kim asked about you," sana says, and nayeon chuckles at the thought of their gruff psych 101 professor caring about her. "i think he's getting lonely." "i wasn't long for that long, sana," nayeon rolls her eyes, "it's been like, three days." sana and mina exchange looks. ones that say shall you tell her or shall i? - "a week!" nayeon hollers into the mirror, "a week!" jihyo, still in her hospital gown and arm sling (it's already been desecrated by the signatures of half their friend group), pats nayeon's shoulder with her good hand. it doesn't seem to be as much of a surprise to jihyo as it was to nayeon, which is probably good, because then it's a nayeon problem and not a space-time continuum problem. probably. "i was in a coma for a week and no one thought it would be important to mention? i was under the impression that i'd been knocked out for like, a day, at most," nayeon rants, clasping jihyo's hand in hers. they're alone in jihyo's ward, after nayeon had iced sana and mina out for their startling fact reveal. (in retrospect, it's not their fault at all, but nayeon just wants someone to blame.) jihyo shrugs, "maybe they thought it would be better not to tell you about it. it's pretty weird that you woke up totally fine after a long coma. that doesn't happen much. they were probably prepared for something worse." nayeon softens. jihyo has a way of speaking and explaining things that cut her out for the role of a doctor, or a teacher - someone who has to break bad news frequently. maybe it's the timbre of her voice, or the way she says it, or the fact that nayeon's head over heels in love with jihyo, that does the trick. it could be any of the three. she feels the same shadow pass over her again, and wonders if summer's coming early this year. - nayeon opts to go without a car than to bear the costs of repairing her mangled car, which is social suicide but gentle on her wallet. she figures that she can siphon free rides off jeongyeon and mina and chaeyoung. car or no car, what doesn't change is that she still has to walk all the way from her lecture theatre from across campus to get back to her dorm, and that, she decides, should be a crime in itself. she could take the on-campus shuttle service, but it's packed and the line for it is ridiculous, so she decides to walk. what a mistake. sweat is dripping off her in what feels like waves, and nayeon wishes that she made better decisions. tapping out a text to jihyo and promising to visit her tomorrow, she looks up to see how long more she needs to walk to get back. her residential hall is right ahead. all she has to do is-- she breaks into a sprint, forcing her legs forward if it means getting back faster. she can do this, damnit! she learns approximately two minutes of mad dashing later, sweating all over the lobby of her residential hall that she can't. some of her hallmates are looking at her pityingly. one of them even looks like he might offer to piggyback her upstairs, but she glares him down. she's an independent woman, and she finishes everything that she starts. she curses all the way up to the third floor, and by the time she makes it to the door of her room, she's a mix of exhausted and disgusted by the chill of her room door. is it... radiating cold? is that even possible? sighing, she unlocks the door and pushes through the doorway. she doesn't need to turn the key, though, because it turns out that it's already open, and that her roommate's already here. "you!"