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The doorbell rang, bright and cheerful amid the drowsy evening calm.In the kitchen, Kanda looked up at the sound of the doorbell. His hands were wet and tangled with seaweed. He frowned and started to peel the seaweed from his fingers and into the basin. "They're early.""I'll get that," Allen said as she reached across the counter and lightly swept Kanda's matted fringe to the sides of his face.The doorbell rang again, a little impatiently this time, two rings in quick succession.Allen turned on her heels and padded out of the kitchen. "I'm coming," she called as she stepped into the hall, massaging the curve of her back as she did so. "Give me a moment."When Allen finally opened the door, she was nearly knocked over by a preternaturally energetic Lavi."Oops, sorry!" Lavi reached out to steady Allen. "I thought it was Kanda getting the door—thought it'd be fun to give him a manly hug, in our usual manner, y'know—""Lavi," Lenalee said reproachfully."My bad, my bad, I've apologised to Al, Lena." Despite the touch of grey at his temples, Lavi was still so similar to the eighteen-year-old teenager he had been when they had all first met a long time ago. "Man, I'm hungry. I smell—is that soba?"Allen took their coats and hung them up. "Yes, we're having soba tonight. Come on in. The dining room is this—""Oh, Al," Lavi said brightly, "We already know your house like the back of our hands!""Of course you do." Allen laughed as she led the way.
Little Mana was playing in the dining room, pushing a toy train around and around. As always, Lenalee knelt next to Mana, picking him up in her hands and tried to get his wavering attention."Hello there," Lavi said, leaning over Lenalee's shoulder. "You've grown some, young man."Mana responded by pushing his palm into Lavi's nose."Ah," said Lavi, having progressed to making faces at the child."Honestly." Lenalee placed Mana back on the floor and watched him pick up the toy train again. "You're such a kid, Lavi. It's time you grew up, don't you think?""That's what your brother said yesterday and the day before, Lena." Lavi crossed his hands behind his head. "It's too early to grow up, and you know it.""Komui's not wrong," Allen said. "You—"A string of profanities could be heard.Allen sighed. "I guess Kanda needs some help.""We'll take care of Mana," said Lenalee.Allen went off into the kitchen."Look at them," Lenalee said. "Don't you think it's time to settle down, Lavi?""Not at all. There's still time, Lena. I haven't met The One yet.""It's not about The One, it's—""Well, Lena, I'm not in a hurry. Why are you worrying for me?""It's just that you're alone. Allen and Kanda are growing their family. And I—soon I won't have that much time to take care of you. You'll be lonely, Lavi. Which is why I'm telling you that you can't just wait for The One to waltz into your life.
You have to go out and—"Lavi leaned forward and pried the toy train from Mana's hands. "Hey, don't stick that in your eye. Your father will kill us if you get hurt on our watch.""You're right," said Kanda who had appeared in the doorway."Oh, look who's here," Lavi said, "Oh gosh, you're wearing an apron! You look so—""So what?" Kanda advanced towards Lavi, a sharp kitchen knife gleaming in his right hand. Fatherhood had taken away neither Kanda's grace nor his ability to look deadly. "You want to say it out loud?"Lenalee nudged Lavi with her elbow. "It's hardly your first time seeing Kanda in an apron.""Kanda. Mana's watching," Allen said.At that, Kanda put away the knife, though he continued to glower at Lavi."The soba smells good," Lavi said. "Is it gonna be ready soon?""Maybe." Kanda's eyebrows twitched with annoyance.Allen coughed slightly. Kanda instantly hurried over. He drew out a chair and helped Allen into it, all the while supporting her round and swollen abdomen. "You okay, Beansprout?""Yeah.""You'd better rest here. I'll finish cooking. Try to keep an eye on Lavi.""Yu, how could you say that? I'm no trouble at all," Lavi said, but Kanda took absolutely no notice of him."Lavi." Allen laughed. "Will you never change?""Allen, will you never change?"Lenalee then chucked a sweet at Lavi's head. "Lavi, don't tease Allen. If you make her go into labour early you'll get it from Kanda.""Enough about me," Allen said. "How's life?""Monotonous," Lavi said. "I'm single and available, though, so feel free to call me up for a date if you need one, Allen."Allen snorted. "You, dateless?""Yes. Don't hit your friend when he's down!""It's true, Allen," Lenalee said. "He is dateless."Lavi let out a theatrical sigh, one hand over his heart. "And Lenalee over there has been nagging me to find The One since a million years ago. Komui's started on it too.""Oh. Poor you!""And Lenalee's going to be married soon!" Lavi said."Really? Who's the lucky guy?""Bak." Lenalee blushed slightly. "Lavi, you shouldn't have blurted the secret out! I was going to tell them later.""Oops. Sorry." Lavi did not sound at all contrite."I'm so happy for you, Lena," said Allen. She took her friend's hands in her own. "When's the wedding?""Next year." Lenalee looked at Allen's belly. "It must be hard to move around these days?""It is," Allen agreed. "But thankfully Kanda does most of the chores these days. He's been really sweet and nice.""Like, by cooking diner?" There was a wicked glint in Lavi's eyes. "Oi, Yu! When I'm pregnant, will you help me cook, too?""What the fuck are you talking about, idiot? I'll skewer you!" Kanda shouted from the kitchen amid sizzling noises."BaKanda! No profanities please!" Allen said."He deserves it." The banging of plates followed. Allen winced slightly; then Kanda spoke again. "Dinner's ready."Kanda appeared with two trays of food. Allen put Mana between herself and Lenalee.As Allen was thus occupied, Lavi caught Kanda's eye. The moment Kanda sat next to Lavi, the redhead let loose his curiosity. "So… how's the guitar coming along?""Fine," Kanda said, mouthing the words with quiet precision. "Thanks for teaching me.""No problem, buddy."Dinner passed in a blur of conversation, and Lenalee laughed to see the amount Allen ate. She was envious, though, when she saw the way Kanda constantly helped Allen refill her plate, and by his concern for Mana's fussy eating habits.When the time for parting came around, Kanda helped Allen walk to the door, his arm coiled firmly around her waist, his palm resting against the curve of her hipbone."Bye guys." Lenalee smiled. "Thanks for dinner.""Bye." Lavi grinned at his friends. He leaned in to whisper to Kanda. "Good luck with your strumming! Charm her!"As soon as their friends had left, Kanda helped Allen into their bedroom, supporting her till she sat on the soft bed, a tired heap of limbs and abdomen."Rest first, Beansprout, if you're tired. I'll clear up.""I should help you…""You're tired." He turned and left the room.Allen smiled at his retreating back, before laying her head on the pillows. He was right; she was tired.When Kanda went back into the bedroom an hour later, Allen was already in sweet slumber. He walked over to the bed, sitting softly on the edge so as not to wake her. One calloused hand reached out to pull her hair tie off her hair.Kanda smiled slightly as Allen's white hair fell around her shoulders. It was long now, and it curled ever so slightly at the ends. Unable to help himself, he entangled his fingers in her hair. Another hand he placed atop her round stomach, feeling the warmth.Allen felt the soft pressure; she opened her eyes, very surprised to see Kanda being so affectionate. "Kanda?""You're awake.""Mmm.""Is it painful?""No." Allen smiled softly. "It's a nice feeling."Without warning, Kanda pulled Allen into his embrace, warm arms around the curve of her abdomen. "It must be uncomfortable. It'll be over soon."Allen took Kanda's hands in her own, placing them directly above her stomach. "Can you feel him?""I don't think so. You should be sleeping, you know.""I can't, now."Kanda remained silent for a while. Then he spoke up. "Shall I sing you a lullaby?""Sing? You?"Kanda made no reply. Instead, he walked over to the corner of the room and drew a guitar out from its casing."Where did you get that from?"Kanda smirked; he sat down and began to strum a few lines, before settling on one he liked. Allen lay on her side, eyes open in surprise and happiness as he sang her a simple ditty. The tune swirled around them both, and she remembered the time when he gave her twenty paper roses, folded into being through sweat and pain, in a wintry park.She squeezed his hand when it ended. "Thank you, Bakanda.""Go to sleep, Beansprout," Kanda said, placing the guitar on the floor and putting his arms around her again.Allen nestled contently into his embrace. Kanda rarely told her that he loved her, but little actions like these were enough to keep her heart with him. Maybe someday, he would open up enough to tell her that he loved her every single day. But right now, she was content to lie in his arms in their own tiny little utopia.
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Allen sighed and tried to smooth away the creases that had made their way into her previously wrinkle-free blouse and slacks. The wrinkles, however, did not deign to disappear.She sighed again and rubbed her temples; everything was going wrong today. She was having a bad hair day, her feet ached, Jerry was not around and so lunch had been barely edible, Mana was crying, and little Alma had been bitten by a friend. Worst of all, Kanda had forgotten that it was their wedding anniversary.She had woken that morning with a bright and cheery smile as she turned towards Kanda's side of the bed. Stretching her arms out, she noticed his absence from their room. He was not, as was his wont, at the dressing table tying his hair, nor was he relaxing in the shower. A part of her hoped that perhaps, just perhaps, he might be in the kitchen making breakfast for her, but that hope was dashed when she walked out of the bedroom.Kanda had positioned himself at the computer desk, actively researching something about babies born out of wedlock. Why he was even reading something of that nature had worried her, because Kanda had never been one to be that curious about all things sundry.Nevertheless, she continued to hope, throughout the process of preparing breakfast, that Kanda might have a surprise waiting for her. He would give her a kiss, perhaps, or even a ring or necklace—or even some sign that he remembered the date.And a surprise he had indeed given her—just that it was a nasty one.He really did seem to have forgotten all about their anniversary. That she could put up with, but what she had just realised made her boiling mad. She had arrived for lunch and found him talking animatedly to Lenalee at a bench in the cafeteria, and he had merely nodded at her when she sat down. Kanda was actually laughing—and he hadn't even bothered to smile at her all day!The mounting anger was somewhat dispelled when Lavi arrived, because he managed to cheer her up, but as soon as she finished her lunch Allen decided to make herself scarce before she could do something she would regret later.Now she stood outside the playground located within the Headquarters, watching her children play with the children of other employees of the Order. They were having fun, it seemed. From what she could tell, they were playing house; it looked so innocent, so happy. So different from the myriad emotions (jealousy, anger, depression) that she was feeling right now.She was getting old, after all. Her hair had always been white, so that didn't matter much, except that it was getting brittle and less glossy than it was when she'd married Kanda. Her skin, too, was losing its tautness. Her face was haggard, and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired, married, and unwanted. She was unattractive in Kanda's eyes, in all likelihood.Next to Lenalee, glowing, pretty Lenalee, she was matronly. True, she had kept her figure well; she was still slim (from all the training she had to undergo), and she had little hint of a tummy, but her haggard face might have drawn Kanda to Lenalee's still youthful-looking features. But of course Lenalee was able to stay youthful. She had no children. Allen supposed that being divorced, Lenalee could very well appeal to Kanda, since she was now no longer strictly out of bounds.But what of Allen, and their children? Couldn't Kanda spare a thought for them? He'd once promised to love her for eternity, as they took their matrimonial vows some seven years ago. Why did Lenalee—what was she thinking?Allen sighed again and rested her head against her arms. She was weary. She didn't want to think about the issue anymore. It could be that her imagination was running away with her.
Oh Mana... it's so hard to walk on sometimes.
The evening sun was beautiful that day, a deep orange flush against the dark horizon. Allen paused to stare at the setting sun, before she realised that her children were gone from the crèche.With all the speed she could muster, she ran to the employees' lounge. Spying Miranda, she rushed up to her."Have you seen Kanda, Miranda?""Yes, Allen. Kanda brought Mana and Alma off with him! Lenalee and Lavi went too," Miranda told her.Thanking Miranda, Allen made off for the bus stop.With Lenalee? Allen thought, as she waited for a bus. And with Lavi? Why? Was Kanda trying to let Lenalee take my place for an evening? Did he bring Lavi along to preserve a semblance of normalcy and respectability?It was only then that Allen noticed the red car that had stopped just in front of her."Allen," Tyki said through the lowered window. "What are you doing here?""I'm going home.""Do you need a lift?" His golden eyes were positively smouldering.Despite her wariness around Tyki, Allen decided to accept the lift. Today's events called for special intervention, and who was she to refuse god-sent help to catch her philandering husband in action?She was silent throughout the journey, immune to the pretty scenery around her."The fall is the prettiest season, I always think," Tyki said, his voice sweet as honey. He glanced her way."It is," Allen answered, "there're so many colours.""Are you upset?" Tyki asked. "Where's Kanda?""Just drive, please?" Allen pleaded. "Don't ask me anything..."Tyki looked at Allen's flustered expression, opened his mouth as if to say something, and promptly closed it again. "You should just elope with me.""Haha," Allen said weakly. "No.""I'd twine red roses into your hair every day, if you want me to," Tyki continued.Red roses... twined into hair... Allen could see it in her mind's eye. Only, it was Kanda who was doing the twining. Lenalee was sitting on Allen's favourite chair, and their bedroom was lit by a few candles, throwing only a dim light onto the sheets. Lavi and the children were nowhere to be seen. So Kanda had brought Lavi along to babysit. So Lavi did know? And he hadn't told her?
Kanda's deft hands finished plaiting the roses into Lenalee's long dark hair.
"Your hair's pretty," Kanda told Lenalee, his breath ghosting over her cheek, "much better than the Beansprout's.""Oh Kanda, you shouldn't say such things about your wife." Lenalee giggled, her face contorting into the visage of a woman with red, red lips and smoky eyes, and a hungry look. "She's only my wife in name. You are my one true love." Kanda lunged forward and drew Lenalee into his embrace.
They kissed, then, and Kanda's hands slipped down from Lenalee's cheeks to her neck. He started to undo the buttons with such strength that a button was ripped from its place and rolled under the bed, lodging itself in a crack. The candles burned, and the light shimmered.
Allen found it hard to breathe; she was choking."Allen?" Tyki asked again. "Are you alright?"Allen fell back to reality with a jolt. She rubbed her eyes and glanced at him. "Uh, yeah. You were saying?""You're home," Tyki said. "Goodbye. I'll see you around."He blew her a kiss as she stumbled out through the car door. Allen waited at the porch till she heard Tyki's car drive off. Taking a deep breath, she swung the door open silently; she was now ready to march into her bedroom to confront the adulterers.Much to her surprise, the lights went on as she walked into the hall. Lavi peered out of the dining room. Allen could see Mana running around behind Lavi; she could hear Lenalee's voice telling the children to quieten down.Lavi grinned at her, and almost winked. "He's in the bedroom!"Lavi shut the door, leaving Allen bewildered. She walked cautiously into her bedroom. Then she saw only Kanda, standing, looking at her, with a bouquet of white roses in his hands. His eyes were soft, and he was smiling, and now he was walking toward her."Happy anniversary," Kanda said, holding the bouquet out.She accepted it, unsure of what to think. Had she been scaring herself, unnecessarily so? There was no sign of Lenalee around, and, she glared at the crack under the bed, but could see no sign of any misplaced button.Instead, on the desk beside the bed stood a table laden with dishes, and Allen gasped."What's wrong?" Kanda asked, his arms now around her middle.Allen took a deep breath, and looked into his dark eyes. "Are you having an affair with Lenalee?""What are you saying!" Kanda looked shocked, and his brows formed an almost straight line."I... what am I saying!" Allen sat down on the bed, and tried not to let the tears show. "I've been a silly fool.""Let's hear about it." Kanda sat beside her. "What happened?"Allen told Kanda all her suspicions—how he had seemed to enjoy talking to Lenalee much more, how he had seemed to forget their anniversary, how jealous she had been, eating herself inside out with envy and anger.He hugged her. "You silly Beansprout. I can explain all that later. I meant to surprise you with this dinner. But it hasn't turned out the way I thought it would.""It hasn't." Allen smiled, her gray eyes brightening. And then her stomach growled."You're hungry." Kanda drew her to the table. "Let's eat first."As he watched Allen eat, Kanda started to explain the unusual circumstances."I'm not in love with Lenalee," he told Allen reproachfully, "you know she's been rather down ever since the divorce from Bak was finalized. Last week, she came to me with a secret. Lenalee's pregnant. Don't look at me like that—it's not my child.""Then who—""Lavi. He's the father.""Lavi?" Allen nearly choked. "When did he and Lenalee—""They got drunk and had a one-night stand some weeks ago. Lenalee told me of her predicament; that's why I've been trying to help her and cheer her up the past week.""I see," Allen nodded, "why she would go to you. You're her oldest friend."Kanda smiled slightly. "I didn't expect you to get jealous . I'm sorry."Allen stood up, smiling too. She walked to Kanda's side, and slid her arms around his neck. "There I was worrying like a silly fool. I love you, BaKanda."Kanda leaned into Allen's embrace. "I feel the same way."Allen laughed. "Still having issues saying I love you? You poor tongue-tied idiot. Don't retaliate, Yu!"Kanda sent a fake glare her way, and she laughed again. That was what it was like, Allen thought, to be in love. To have a warm and fuzzy feeling when she looked at Kanda, to feel safe in his arms, to feel loved and young again. It was heaven, and she wouldn't trade it for the world.