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It had been a normal day, just like any other, and a normal night, just like any other. Lord Hater had gone to bed after a long hard day of being him, and was sleeping comfortably and cozy, warm in his bed, happily dreaming of destroying his most hated foes. It was one of his favorite dreams actually, one he had every so often. He had just finished destroying Wander and was being congratulated by Peepers when—
He awoke to the sound of wind, howling through trees. Well that wasn't right, he thought in a half-dazey sleep-state, there's not usually wind in this dream. Oh well, maybe they landed on a planet somewhere and he had forgotten, it didn't matter. He started to fade back into his dreamscape, but was immediately jolted fully awake by the same sound again, but this time much louder and much more distinct. It wasn't the wind he was hearing, though he understood why he'd mistake it for that, it was a real howling like someone was in despair, and the sound of it was echoing through his ship. Aside from the fear that was overcoming him, he wondered in the back of his mind if everyone could hear it, or if it was just in his room. The latter thought scared him even more. Before he had time to dwell too much on that, the howling came again, this time with a force that sounded almost aggressive. And it wasn't just his imagination, the vents in his room were now shaking with the sound, his own body shaking with a fear to match. The howl grew louder and louder now, and with it, a rattling sound shook the closest vent to him, the one right above his bed. Hater looked up towards the vent and held his blanket close, it's padded fabric the only defense against whatever it was that edged closer to him, howling at him, shaking the vent so violently until—
CLANG
A cloud of dust obscured his vision, and Hater shouted, calling for Captain Tim, calling for anyone. He pushed himself back against his headboard and away from whatever large mass had just fallen on his bed.
Then through the dust, as it began to disperse, Hater heard....giggles.
"Wh—" He waved his hands through the air in an attempt to see, suddenly terrified because he recognized that sound so well, too well. With a growing horror, he saw bright orange and green peek through, eventually coming into full view, confirming his fears. There was Wander, collapsed in giggles in front of him.
"WANDER?!?!"
"Oh, I'm sorry Hater," he said, wiping his eye, "I didn't think I'd scare you quite that bad. I thought since you're always so scary yourself you'd take more kindly to something like that." He laughed again.
"You didn't scare me!" Hater said. "Wh—wait what are you doing here?!?!"
"Well tonight's Ghost Night, Hatey! Didn't you know?"
"Ghost Night?? What the grop are you talking about?? Is this one of your stupid tricks again because if it is—"
"No, no, Hater, it's—well I mean, I guess it sorta is literally a trick, but that's part of the fun, it's sorta like a game where—"
"So this is one of your stupid baby games, then," he said, crossing his arms, ready to start ignoring him. He was determined to not fall for this kinda stuff anymore.
"Well, I suppose babies could join in if they wanted to...but I think it'd be a bit harder for them. Ghost Night is the one night a year when everyone is supposed to go around and scare all their friends and neighbors! Then afterwards, everyone gets together and tells each other stories of all the wacky things that happened! There's candy and—well, it's a whole lot of fun."
"Since when?"
"Hm?"
"Since when is that a thing?!?!"
"Oh well, uh....hm...well, I don't rightly know! But when I heard about it last year, I just knew I had to join in!"
"I knew it. You made it up."
"No, it's real I promise! Here, let me—" Wander attempted to take Hater's hand, but he pulled away too quick.
"No, it sounds stupid and lame, just like you, and I'm done getting tricked by you all the time," he stood tall over Wander and pointed towards the door, "so get out of my room and get OFF my SHIP!!"
"Well...alright, suit yourself! I was about to go off to do Peepers next, but I suppose if you really hate the idea that much..."
"What? Wait." He held out a hand and Wander stopped, looking back curiously at him. "You were...gonna scare Peepers? Like you did with me...?"
Wander grinned.
"Er I mean—" Hater said, correcting himself, "Not that I got scared! Uh." A voice in the back of his head was screaming at him what he already knew, that this was one of Wander's stupid plans to turn him into a good guy or something but...he really couldn't pass up a chance like this. "...Can...can I come?"
Wander lit up. Without a second of hesitation, he grabbed Hater's hand and led him at full speed down the halls to Commander Peepers' room. He'd just check it out and then be done. It'd probably be lame anyway; How was Wander going to scare someone like Peepers?
They came into his room silently. The lights were off and it seemed as if no one was there. Wander led Hater by the hand over into a nearby closet, keeping the light off and the door open only slightly, just enough for the both of them to see out.
"What are you gonna do...?"
"Shhh..." Wander shushed him, turning away from Hater to the sound of the door opening. They got there just in time.
Peepers stepped through, carrying a binder and a styrofoam box, presumably filled with his dinner. He set his binder down, propping it against the side of his desk, set the box on top, and turned around to take off his helmet. Without any warning, Wander zoomed out of the closet, opened the box, took a large helping of Peepers' dinner, and zoomed back into the closet, all without a single sound. Peepers sighed and turned around; Hater was astounded he hadn't noticed. When Peepers turned around and saw his food, he froze and immediately looked around him.
"Tim? Are you in here?" Peepers asked aloud.
Hater couldn't help wanting to laugh. This was already better than he expected. Wander urgently held a finger to his mouth, but he was holding back laughter as well.
"Uh... Captain Tim?" Peepers called out nervously as he walked around his room. "I promise I won't hurt you...if you won't hurt me. Just come on out..." He bent down on his hands and knees to look under his bed.
Wander slipped his hand into his hat and pulled out a sheet of paper and scribbled something on it, too quick for Hater to see. In a flash, he was back out of the closet and picking up the binder next to the desk. He slipped the paper inside, closed it, then dropped it heavily onto the desk, making a loud smack.
"WHO'S THERE?!" Peepers whipped around at the sound, but Wander was already back in the closet, quick as lightning. Shaking now, Peepers stepped towards the desk. "Wh..." He reached out towards the binder opened it, his hands shaking. His shoulders tensed when he saw the paper. He picked up the paper and read it out loud. "Look...behind you...?"
Peepers slowly turned around, his pupil tiny and his breathing shallow. Hater wasn't sure how much longer he could restrain his laughter.
Wander moved the both of them out of the way of the door then pressed on it lightly, so it opened with a long, drawn out, and horrifying creak.
He heard the sound of a blaster charging up.
"W-whoever's there, you better come out here right now. N-no one threatens Commander Peepers and gets a-a-away with it, you hear me? No one."
Hater's face was turning green with how hard he was trying not to laugh. He listened to Peepers footsteps edge closer and, suddenly unsure what they were going to do, looked over at Wander. Wander simply smiled and raised his eyebrows, silently gesturing towards the door. Just as Peepers came into view, Hater understood, and he burst out of the shadows, roaring with lightning flying every which way. Peepers screamed and fell backward, accidentally firing his blaster towards the ceiling.
Before Peepers could even attempt to slow his breathing, Hater was in stitches, hunched over, tears streaming down his face.
"S-sir??!" Peepers exclaimed. Wander came out the shadows, laughing along with him. "Wh—sir what are you—"
"YOUR FACE," Hater gasped through his laughter, "YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN—YOUR FACE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"Sir, what're are you—"
"C'mon Hater, we have tons more to do before the night is up! No time to waste!"
"Pfft, hahah you, wait," Hater wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to control his breathing enough to speak," You, th-there's more?!"
"Of course there's more, I still haven't gotten to any of the watchdogs yet! C'mon! Oh and thank you, Mr. Peepers you were a real good sport. Happy Ghost Night!"
"WHAT?!"
Hater glanced at Peepers, but Wander was already dragging him away and out the door. Looking at him only reminded him of how terrified he had looked 2 seconds ago, and he burst into roar of laughter all over again, his laughs echoing down the halls as they left a very confused commander in their wake.
They continued on to another floor of the ship, sneaking by watchdog guards with surprising ease. Hater followed Wander's lead, tip-toeing behind him all the way. No wonder he's always able to get onto the ship so easily.
"So uh, what are we doing exactly?" Hater whispered when he thought they were in the clear.
Wander held up a hand as he peered around the corner. "The coast is clear," he said, giddy. "C'mon!"
He followed his enemy into what appeared to be a large locker room, presumably for watchdog use. Hater didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to watchdog stuff, to be honest. They continued past it and into a large communal shower area. It was currently empty. Wander grabbed some liquid soap off a nearby ledge and squirted a small amount into his hand.
"Okay, now what should I write?" he asked aloud, bouncing with anticipation.
"Uh." He didn't realize he would have to come up with stuff. "Write? What do you mean?"
"Oh! Haven't you ever written on a mirror with soap before?" He walked over to the closest shower head and turned it on just enough so that it had a steady drip going. He then put his hand under the stream and watered down the soap significantly. "You just take a little bit of soap and dip your finger in. Then you draw whatever you want on the mirror and it'll be invisible until someone comes in and showers. The steam will fog up the mirror and the message will appear! It's real spooky 'cause they'll think a ghost or somethin' did it. So what do you wanna write? I was thinkin' something like 'run' or 'get out while you still can' or 'hide or he'll get you'. What do you think?"
He stared at the small alien, unsettled. Where did he get ideas like that?
"Uh...I guess...all of those sound...pretty scary..."
"Ohhh good idea, Hatey! I'll just write all of them!" He proceeded to do so, writing out each phrase in a different part of the large mirror that bordered one side of the room. "Okay, now let's get out of here!"
The left the area, staying just outside and around a corner so they could listen in.
"How the flarp did a goodie two shoes like you get so good at pranks anyway?" Hater asked as they waited. He was honestly really weirded out by all of this! He loved it, for sure, but it was weird. This was Wander, he was a good guy. He wasn't supposed to scare people, what the heck.
"Aw, they aren't pranks... They're part of the Ghost Night tradition!"
"Whatever, you know what I mean."
"Mmm... Well I guess I do have a bit of experience. I used to be with someone who was quite the jokester."
"'Be with'...?"
"Like, we were partners! We spent loads of time together."
"So, like Sylvia?"
"Yeah exactly! Except, well," he giggled, "maybe a bit more romantic than that." He blushed, unsettling Hater much more intensely than before.
For several moments he was unable to form words. Wander...dating? Wander? That Wander? The Wander sitting right in front of him? That Wander...going out with someone and... what, holding hands?? Smooching? WHAT?!?!
"YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND?!"
"Shhh!!" He held a hand to Hater's mouth, silencing him. "Here they come!"
They peered around the corner and watched as a hoard of watchdogs went inside to wash off and be done for the day. Most of them looked half-asleep already. It took some time before all of them managed to file themselves inside, but when they did, the door shut behind them, and all they had to go off of was the sounds heard from inside—clicking of locks being unlocked, light chatter, and locker doors. It took some time before they finally heard the sound of showers being turned on. There was a long stretch of silence as they waited.
"Oh, he wasn't a girl, by the way!" Wander said suddenly.
"Wh—"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A crowd of watchdogs burst out of locker room, falling over each other in their attempts to get out. They were all still naked, of course, and the looks on their faces were of pure terror as they tripped over each other and slipped on the puddles of water they left behind. The sight had Hater immediately doubled over in tears. Wander waved and yelled a 'Happy Ghost Night' to them as they passed, but most of them were too distraught to notice.
They spent the rest of the night like that, pranking every last watchdog on the ship in a myriad of different ways, some even Hater helped to come up with. He had forgotten about their conversation and was completely and totally swept up in the fun, not even noticing his own exhaustion until it hit him like a ton of bricks around 5 'o clock in the morning.
"Just one more left, Hater, c'mon! And it's the best one of all!"
"What are you talking about, we got all of them," Hater said, rubbing at his eyes and yawning.
"You're forgetting one very important person," Wander replied, sweeping the both of them up in a large orbble bubble. He hadn't even noticed until just then that they had entered the main hangar, and that the mouth was open.
"What? Where are we going?"
"You'll see!" Wander set off walking, moving the orbble forward whether Hater wanted to go or not. He didn't try to escape though, his curiosity once again getting the better of him.
They floated down onto a nearby planet and landed inside a very spooky looking forest, the orbble popping as they hit the ground. They continued walking through the thick foliage by foot, and somehow it seemed to get darker with every step they continued forward. Hater instinctively held onto Wander as they walked, who turned around and gave him a reassuring smile and a pat. He let go and pulled away, sticking his hands under his arms. Luckily, before he could stew in his own embarrassment too much, a light started to emerge through the trees. As they got closer and the light became more defined, it became clear that it was a campsite that they were approaching, with a well-tended fire still roaring. Hater slowed down as they approached, suddenly wary.
Wander held up a finger over his cute grin. "Wait here," he whispered, gesturing to a nearby bush. Hater crouched down behind it as told, just in time to catch Sylvia walking out of a very primitive tent that the two of them had no doubt set up earlier.
"Oh, hey Wander," she said. "You done with those 'errands' of yours?"
Wander was visibly holding back laughter. "Mhm, yep!"
He was a lot worse at this when it involved straight-up bluffing, Hater thought, oof. He trusted that he must have something really good up his sleeve for someone like Sylvia, though. He readied himself behind the bush in case Wander signaled for him or something.
"You ready to tell me what exactly those 'errands' were?" Sylvia asked, smiling and ruffling Wander's hat.
"Uh, yeah! Just uh..." He took his hat off and pulled out a bowl of candy, then held it out to Sylvia. "Why don't you try some of this candy I got!" He giggled.
"Candy?" Sylvia said, incredulous. "What is this, Wander? I asked you what you've been up to all night and you just shove a bowl of candy in my—are those Whippy bars."
Before Wander could answer, Sylvia was already digging her hands through the bowl, grabbing at her favorite candy. Hater squinted, trying to figure out when the prank was gonna come in, when just then, Wander's hand shoved through the candy and grabbed at her hands, causing her to shout and flinch back, her hand at her chest. Wander dropped the bowl, revealing a hole at the bottom, and collapsed into giggles.
"What the heck?!" Sylvia said.
"WHAT THE HECK?!" Hater shouted, revealing himself from the bushes. "THAT'S IT?! THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD DO? THAT'S BARELY EVEN SCARY!"
"Hater?!" Sylvia exclaimed, immediately getting into a fighting stance.
"Oh don't even bother," he said, scowling at her.
"What do you mean it wasn't scary, Hater? I saved the best for last!" Wander said, innocently. "Why, I nearly gave myself a fright just doin' that one!"
"I'm sorry, what's going on?" Sylvia said, annoyed.
"Ugh," Hater rolled his eyes. "I should have known better than to think some stupid do-gooder like you to actually had good taste. All that other stuff must've just been a fluke. I'm done. You had your chance. Now so long, Wander. See you never." He stormed off, feeling strangely hurt.
"Aw, but Hater!" Wander called out, chasing after him, "We didn't get to laugh and tell stories and everything yet! And all the candy and—"
"I don't care about the stupid stories, I was having fun and you ruined it!"
"You were having fun?!" Wander squealed. He gripped onto Hater's hand with big eyes and a bigger grin.
"Ugh, get off of me!" He shook him off. "I'm never listening to you again, and I'm never letting you trick me into leaving my ship ever again."
He whipped out his hand-phone and dialed for Peepers. It barely rang once before he picked up. After a bit of bickering, he brought the Skullship around within sight and Hater gratefully started marching towards it.
"Hater, wait," Wander called out.
"What," Hater growled, turning on a dime and leering over him.
"I just wanted to say..." he started quietly, taking Hater's hand, gently, really gently, which surprised him enough that he didn't pull away. "Thank you." He looked up at him with the most sincere face he'd probably ever seen out of the little guy. "For sharing Ghost Night with me, I mean. I had a heck of a lot of fun with ya. I hope we can do it again next year."
His stomach felt like it was flip-flopping inside of him all of the sudden. And for some reason, his brain decided now was the perfect time to remind him that Wander had dated someone. He pulled away.
"Yeah right," he spat.
Wander smiled sweetly before turning and heading back to the campsite. Hater felt something in his hand. He opened it. Somehow that weirdo had managed to slip a fudgaroo into his hand when he wasn't paying attention. If it had been any other candy he would have aimed for Wander's stupid little head but...he turned around headed back for the open mouth of the ship instead. Fudgaroos were his favorite.