Work Text
mellon has added Jeremy Wants To Die, LUSH, and Tree Hugger to gays for Jesus
Jeremy Wants to Die: Gays for Jesus, really Michael
Mellon changed Chat name to Gays for Satan
Mellon: is that better for you
JeremyTree Hugger: This is why we get bullied guys
LUSH: why does this exist Michael
Mellon: because we are starting a GSATree Hugger: 1st- No 2nd- WhyMellon: We need to find more Gays in this mess
Jeremy Wants to Die: I’ve found 5
Mellon: who’s this 5th gayJeremy Wants to Die: the weird kid in the back of the Home Ect. Class
Tree Hugger: that’s ironic
LUSH: whyTree Hugger: ummm Jared do you pay attention at any point during schoolLUSH: the Bathbombs are destroying my brain, so nomellon:*takes all of Jared’s Bathbombs*Tree Hugger: well pay attention gaysmellon: no you’re not my mother
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Tree Hugger: Well If you guys actually payed attention, he kinda hates the other
4
gays
Mellon: well we can make him kinda not hate the other four gays through the power of weed and GSAJeremy Wants To Die: "the power of weed and GSA" are you high MichealLUSH: First Micheal why are you so obsessed with A GSAMellon: BECAUSE WE ARE GAYS FOR SATANTree Hugger: if we're gays for Satan Y'all need JesusLUSH: Evan, My buddy, Gays for Satan don't need JesusJeremy Wants To Die: Are you (not you Evan) all highLUSH: Yeah on the Drug of life my dude
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Two Days LaterMellon: So my fellow gays (and Bis) who's ready for the annual Mtn Dew ChallengeLUSH: Really Dude after what happened with Mr. Wants to Die last yearJeremy Wants To Die:
Jared, my dude, last years accident will not be repeated (we now know not to give me Mtn Dew)Tree Hugger: ya know, I'm friends with the people here not the things they doLUSH: Evan We Know You Love UsMellon: Let's not go overboard Heere
LUSH Has Added
BlackNailPolish to GAYS FOR SATAN
BlackNailPolish: What the hell is this
Mellon: This is GAYS FOR SATAN a lovely group of people with a love of GSA'S and The Dark Lord SatanTree Hugger: We are not(all) in love with SatanLUSH: Well random kid who stole my phone in the library, This was a group of normal gays and bisexuals until any of us existed
Tree Hugger: You also, can't leave now I've triedBlackNailPolish: Ummm, Okay you all are very strange Mother Fuckers and since I apparently can't leave and don't have friends I'm ConnorMellon: Micheal MellJeremy Wants to die: guessLUSH: THE INSANELY COOL JARED
KLIENMANTree Hugger: EvanBlackNailPolish: Ok, What the hell happened with mtn dew last year
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Mellon: So, In a bout of High Micheal Greatness on this day 2 years ago, I made me and Jared both drink as many bottles of mountain dew that is humanly possible in
5 minutesJeremy Wants To Die: Then, on this fine day Oct. 24 last year Micheal made me do the challenge, as we were both high then a kite at the time, we forgot I was ALLERGIC to MTN DEW and lets just say, The ER nurses @ 3 am were not happy to be dealing with a high 17 year old who was having a allergic reactionMellon: and we made Jared and Evan come to the hospitalLUSH: which is why Micheal will not be doing the MTN DEW challenge this year right
Mellon: Ok meet me at the mall in 60 minutesBlackNailPolish: which oneJeremy Wants to Die: Freehold Mall, Its Micheal's favoriteBlackNailPolish: Ok gonna meet random people I barely know at a mallLUSH: you're the one who joined
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Jeremy's PoV
"Why are we doing this, again?"
"For Science and I want to see who we ship,"
"Micheal We ship Evan with trees and Jared with the LUSH store""Jeremy, My Buddy, ya see there is a function on this planet and Its pure purpose is for the Gays and Bi's to ship other Gays and Bi's, We leave heteros out of this""Micheal I want to Punch you right now"" Jeremy, I'm Driving""And I'm Bi"Micheal turns his shitty radio up as some Bob Marley song I wouldn't be able to tell you came on.
A magical time skip to the mall brought to you by Connors Nail Polish
"Well look who finally decided to show up," Jared yells from the line at Starbucks, Evan face palming beside him. Conner is sitting in a booth with a Double Chocolate Chip Creme. Well here goes nothing,"Hi I'm Jeremy, from the group chat,"
" Hello Jeremy, do you know why Evan isn't talking to anyone?" He says it with a tone of sarcasm we never hear about Evan."Yeah Social Anxiety" I say trying to pretend that didn't just happen as Micheal practically throws Jared at me... Why must he do thisWe walk to the elevator because screw escalators, and fit the entire group in. The 5 of us walk to Spencer's for Micheal's first challenge, Gay Shirts and Shit.
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P“Hello everybody of the free hold raceway mall and welcome to the annual MTN DEW Challange,” Micheal says standing on a table while Jared trys to push him off. The Mountain Dew challange should really be the Mountian Dew Me challange.”in which my Boyf will not include because life is Important””Add my on Snapchat at Jeremy wants to die”I say snickering to myself because shameless self promo, am I right. I look up to Connor chugging every bottle of Mountian Dew, he might actually beat Micheal at this a feet nobody has yet to pass. Evan is on his phone trying to pretend he’s not a part of this(as always and kinda starring Connor). I open up my Snapchat to see if anybody added me, surprisingly somebody did, It was probably Connor or some kid from school tho.
Micheal throwing himself in my lap, dramatically yells, “I have been defeated, play Bob Marley at my funeral,”
“Micheal you’re being over dramatic again,”
“K theater Nerd”
“K player 1” Micheal sits up when Connor sits back down, after he threw up in a fake tree because these things happen.
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Private chat: LUSH AND TREE HUGGER
LUSH: What was with you and Connor at the mall todayTree Hugger: Nothing.... what are you talking aboutLUSH: idk you staring at him non-stop
Tree Hugger: was it that noticeable
LUSH: Nope I was just paying attention
Tree Hugger: ok... not gonna question this today, talk tomorrow
GAYS FOR SATAN CHAT
Mellon: yo, blacknailpolish good job defeating me todayblacknailpolish: I still have no idea how that game workedJeremeyIsHeere: Micheal is used to being the most useless gaymer and stoner but not he’s just one of those thingsblacknailpolish: I still have no idea but okLUSH REMOVED TREE HUGGERLUSH: so gays did anyone notice Our boy Evan staring at Our Boi Connor all dayblacknailpolish: I may have whyLUSH: because Connor this is operation Tree Bros aka operation get Connor and Evan together
blacknailpolish: I did not agree to this
LUSH: nobody asked for your opinion ConnorMellon: what about operation GSALUSH: well, it starts with operation GSAJeremyIsHeere: more like operation find the gayMellon Changed Chat name to:
operation find the gayMellon: I like the way you think HeereJeremyIsHeere: I only stat the truth
LUSH: let the fun begin
Guidance Office- Monday”Micheal why should we make a GSA in our school,””Because we should have a place of support for young questioning LGBT Kids they don’t have to be scared to call or visit Ms.G,””Micheal submit your forms but, I can’t promise anything;”
Back to the Gayme - Alex
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Mellon: You gays know that bitch in guidance who’s in charge of Clubs and Sports and shit rightTree Hugger: yeah we’ve been introduced
blacknailpolish: she’s gotten me out of like 9 weeks worth of Detention
Mellon: well she said the votes to get a gays only were unlikely or some gay shit
JeremyIsHeere: how many to you needMellon: 10 and we have 5Tree Hugger added a.Ham and Gay4turtlesa.Ham: now as any normal person, why am I being added to group chats during school hoursMellon: We need 5 more votes for a club most people don’t wantA.Ham: then pay people to vote and then have the club openGay4turtles: or ya know just find more people, based on the group chat name, you want a GSAA.Ham: Jack don’t be a good person hereMellon: no good person is in HeereJeremyIsHeere: are you calling yourself a bad personA.Ham: anyway, who’s blacknailpolishblacknailpolish: druggie Connor not popular connorTree Hugger: and if anyone else said that we’d all be in the er
A.Ham: anyway Mr. Peterson is making me turn my phone off