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New gambling dens in a new town, occupied by new faces, yet all of that didn’t offer much new to Akagi personally. Simply another place filled with reckless anticipation for fast victories, and bitter faces when the teen gained more and more winnings to himself. Same words of threat he had heard before. New faces, yet no new people.As Akagi left another parlor and gazed up at the dark night sky, he took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit one up and took it between his thin lips. It was a pleasantly warm September evening, people buzzed in the streets, the lights of shops and traffic flickered around him. Those lights concealed the darkness brought by yakuza, gamblers and other individuals of the lowest kind, and as always, Akagi was strongly drawn to them. The head of his cigarette dimly glowing, Akagi walked on, serenely searching around… searching for anything interesting at all. He was difficult to please. Often it was his luck alone leading him to good new destinations so he decided to just walk on, waiting for a sign -“If I can play just one more time, I could show it! Just one more game!”Akagi had heard those kinds of words before. Out of curiosity, he looked at the direction of the voice, just a short distance away, in front of a mahjong parlor: an older man in a formal attire, and talking to him a man in his twenties, wearing a leather jacket, his black mullet tucked inside its collar. Akagi stopped to watch them. The younger man was clearly in an increasing distress.“It was that last round just now… There was something -”“Sir, we have our workers keeping an eye on all possible ploys happening, none of them saw such a thing happen!”“I said, there was definitely something weird going on there - !”“Enough of this, you are making a scene in front of our customers! Stay out!”The parlor worker quickly turned and returned back inside, leaving the youngster alone. Akagi saw his posture slump a little and the man shaking his head weakly, looking very pitiful.Foul play? This could have been the sign for Akagi.“Excuse me.”Akagi raised his voice and, as the long-haired man turned towards him in confusion, walked to him.“Huh...?” The man’s big eyes looked at Akagi carefully, a shade of embarrassed red on his cheeks. Akagi continued,“I happened to hear what you just said, I’d like to hear more about that.”“Oh? Uh… It’s just… Maybe I am just having a bad night… but I’m pretty sure there was some cheating going on just now…”“In this parlor?”“Yeah,” the man looked at the closed door again, “there was this group of three men… Flashy clothes… and they kept looking at each other at odd times but… I just couldn’t catch them…”“And they won money? From you?”“Yeah,” the man said again, and again slumped slightly, and to Akagi he looked very tiny as he muttered more to himself, “about 20,000 yen… I thought I could double it…”Double, triple, Akagi had a hunch that he was onto new, fast profits very soon. He, too, turned to look at the parlor’s door.“Do you think they are still inside?”“Huh? Those guys… M-maybe, they didn’t leave after me…”“Thanks, this is enough. Actually, could you wait a while, somewhere around here?”“Huh?”“See you soon,” Akagi said simply as he walked to the door and opened it. He was about to step inside when he stopped and asked, without turning to look at the bemused man behind him, “What’s your name?”“Uh- It’s Kaiji. Itou Kaiji.”“Kaiji-san, huh…” And with that, he was out of Kaiji’s view as he slipped inside the parlor, to do… Kaiji had no idea what.The last fifteen minutes still had Kaiji confused, too much had happened in such a short time. On the mahjong table, he had been doing pretty well, but he had been way too focused on his hand and the discards on the table to clearly see anything else around or above it, least his opponents’ faces and signals. Only when he had just noticed how painlessly the other men discarded risky tiles, it had already been too late. Each round, each discard took time and opportunities away, and that had cost Kaiji all the money he had in his possession.Kicking the asphalt under his worn-out sneakers, the young man took the last cigarette from his pocket - no reason to save that for any later time, he needed something to calm himself down right then. He lit the head and deeply inhaled, taking in all the scent and taste of nicotine. As he watched the slightly smoking tip, he wondered what the white-haired young man was up to. What did Kaiji have to wait for, would he be back soon, and if so, what would he have done? Kaiji had been kicked out of the place with no money, and now the guy had gone inside and left him with way too many questions unanswered.
‘...if he’s going to come back out, he’d better do it soon… it’s cold…’
Right then, with full force, the door opened, and the loud bang of it hitting the building’s wall startled Kaiji and made him jump away from what fell through the door: three men, the same Kaiji had played against, and after them stepped out the white-haired youth. Even more baffled than before, Kaiji saw a small, simple smile on the young man’s lips as he looked at the trio who, on the contrary, looked back at him with fearful eyes. One of them spat,“Y-you better watch your ass! This won’t be the end of this!”In response, the young man chuckled.“Come back when you have more money to spend on gambling - and maybe better tricks than that lousy tunneling.”That was enough to make the men let out whimpering sounds and set off, almost stumbling on their way as they ran to the opposite direction from the parlor. Both Kaiji and the youngster watched them go, and Kaiji was the first to turn back to him, his eyes and mouth open wide.“What… what even… what happened inside?” Again, the other young man chuckled.“They lost the game before it had even started… 20,000 yen, right?” Only then did Kaiji notice the bag he was carrying, and he saw the young man pull out a stack of yen banknotes. He couldn’t stifle his surprised gasp.“What?!”“Thanks for helping me. This is a reward for you.” Kaiji instinctively brought his hands forward when he was handed the generous amount of money. He felt the paper against his palms and his legs felt a bit weak.“...this is… so much money…”“Not more than what I got,” the youth hummed, and Kaiji noticed him looking around, eyeing the buildings near them. Kaiji swallowed.“S-still… thank you so much - uh…” It only then occurred to Kaiji that he hadn’t heard the young man’s name. He barely had the time to think of asking that when the white-haired stranger simply said,“Akagi. Akagi Shigeru.”He didn’t look at Kaiji but now Kaiji was staring at him, harder than any other previous moment.“...Akagi… Shigeru?”“Sorry but… could I ask you for one more thing?"“Oh! Oh, y-yeah, what is it?”“An inn of some sort… It doesn’t need to be fancy but I’d like to get a place to sleep in tonight.”Honestly Kaiji had no idea but before he said that, another idea came to his mind.“Umm… what about you come to my place for tonight? As a thank-you…” Finally, Akagi turned back to him, and as Kaiji saw his slightly widened, sharp eyes, he realised how weird his suggestion just then must have sounded in Akagi’s ears. It wasn’t usual for Kaiji to ask complete strangers to come to his house, and he could easily imagine how suspicious he had sounded. “W-well, only if you want to… Sorry, that must have been -”“I’d like to.”Kaiji could not think of any actual reasons why this young man trusted him enough to go with him to a new place. He didn’t mind when they left the busy buzz of the district and headed towards more quiet, darker area of cheap apartments, Akagi walking behind Kaiji the entire time, close enough for Kaiji to hear his steps but within a good distance. Not many people passed them along their way, the only sounds in the night were the distant noises of traffic, the only sources of light the street lamps above them.Kaiji led Akagi to a small neighbourhood of terraced houses, and soon they stopped in front of one apartment’s door. Kaiji opened it a bit clumsily and gestured Akagi to step in. As the lights were switched on, Akagi looked around the apartment which was clearly made for just one inhabitant: the room they were in had a bed, a dresser next to it, an old small television in one corner, one low table surrounded by a few floor pillows, and on one side of the room were a sink, a stove and a refrigerator next to a small table. There were two more doors in the opposite directions and, Akagi figured, they led to a bathroom and a balcony, both of which supposedly were somewhat cramped. More than that, the house had pretty much nothing at all, only a few magazines lying around and an ashtray on the table. The walls and the floor looked oddly stale and decrepit, the entire place was clearly not at its best condition.Kaiji had no money for anything better, Akagi knew.Kaiji turned to him.“You want some tea? Or… do you want to take a shower?”Akagi thought about it for a moment.“Shower sounds good. Can you borrow me a towel?”“Yeah, there are a couple in the bathroom, you can use either one of them…”“Thanks.” Kaiji watched Akagi's back before he disappeared into the bathroom, then let out a very heavy sigh.‘This is so weird… but then again, he did help me…’ Kaiji started preparing water for tea, and as he observed the water in a tiny pot slowly starting to boil, he heard sounds of water falling rhythmically in the bathroom. He swallowed again yet his throat was somewhat dry. ‘I have a complete stranger at my house, using my shower… and not only that, but that stranger is… Akagi Shigeru.’Kaiji knew the name, knew the name familiar from rumours and fervent whispers at parlors. He had been impressed by those stories, stories of near impossible victories, improbable chances. Impressed by the thought of such a strong-willed and fearless gambler…And now that person, the living legend, was taking a shower in Kaiji’s own bathroom.It wasn’t only the steam of the boiling water making Kaiji feel hot over his face at that moment. He didn’t regret inviting the young man to his house but he couldn’t help but expect for the night to be somewhat... awkward. What could Kaiji possibly do or say to impress Akagi? Not that he needed to, he had no reason to… but this was Akagi Shigeru…“Kaiji-san.” It was too close that Kaiji had almost pushed the pot on the stove over, the sudden soft voice startled him so much. He turned around. Akagi was peeking behind the bathroom’s door, only his face and his other bare shoulder showing. Kaiji saw enough to spot a bright pink mark of a scar running over the young man’s shoulder’s pale skin. He quickly lifted his eyes back to Akagi’s own, and the young man said, “Sorry to bother you again… but I need a change of clothes…”Kaiji inhaled quietly, feeling stupid, again.“Ah, sorry, I didn’t think of that… Just wait a moment!”“It’s fine,” Akagi replied when Kaiji hurried to his dresser, and only a moment later Kaiji was back carrying light clothing in his arms.“Just ask me if you need more…”“This is enough.” Akagi’s other hand grabbed the clothes, and he went back inside the bathroom, Kaiji back to watch the tea water brewing.
‘Definitely awkward…’
It didn’t take too long for the noises of running and splashing water to stop in the bathroom, and only another short while later the door opened and out came Akagi, wearing Kaiji’s worn T-shirt and loose pants, a towel on his shoulders and his white hair moist yet oddly fluffy. Akagi saw Kaiji sitting at the table, two cups and the still steaming teapot waiting on it.“Thank you for the shower.”“Eh, no, it’s nothing,” Kaiji replied with a small grin. He gestured to the cups with his hand briefly and, following it, Akagi sat on one of the cushions at the table, opposite of Kaiji, and took one of the cups. The smooth surface felt warm against his palms: Kaiji had already poured tea for him. He carefully brought the rim to his lips and took a sip.Kaiji’s eyes were fixed on Akagi’s facial features, his now closed narrow eyes, thin eyebrows and strong straight nose, much like his own. He looked calm but not exactly tired, even though it was already past midnight. Then again, Kaiji, too, felt quite awake, solely because of the presence of the other young man. He blinked when Akagi opened his eyes again and lowered the cup from his lips.“Warm… and good.”“I’m glad you like it,” Kaiji said quietly. “Akagi.” It wasn’t a question, he simply wanted to say the name. It made the other man look at Kaiji again.“This is enough, Kaiji-san, you have already done more than I asked for. I only needed a place to stay the night over in.” Kaiji swallowed as he felt a familiar feeling of blush.“Why are you calling me like that… ‘Kaiji-san’, that is too much… How old are you even?”“Nineteen.” Kaiji felt words getting stuck in his throat. “And you are…?” Kaiji had to force his mouth and tongue to form his reply.“...I… am twenty-one…”“Huh, not that much older, but still, you are my senior, Kaiji-san.” Akagi took another sip, Kaiji frowned, and just to have something to do, he took his own cup of tea and drank some. After a long night of unexpected events, it tasted good and calmed him down quite a bit. He inhaled deeply, still keeping his eyes on his cup. A moment of silence passed, then Kaiji talked again.“You can go to my bed, I have a futon. And… it can get a bit chilly in the night…”“It’s alright. And I can take that futon.” Akagi’s voice was calm with no hint of hesitation but Kaiji waved his hand a little.“No, I take it, the bed is better, it’s the least I can do-”“You have already done quite a bit, Kaiji-san. For a stranger like me.” Akagi was facing somewhere to the wall next to Kaiji’s bed, Kaiji saw clearly his strong yet smooth facial features, alongside of his stunningly white hair. Again, Kaiji swallowed.“The least I can do… for Akagi Shigeru.”“Huh… so you know who I am.”“A legend,” Kaiji said, more quietly, yet his voice carried special weight to it, and hearing it made Akagi turn back to him, even though his face remained collected and unfazed. Kaiji returned the stare. “Or, more like a rumour… I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”Akagi blinked slowly.“Seen what?”“Seen what you are capable of.”Instead of the wall, Akagi’s eyes turned down to the cup in his hands.“I didn’t do anything.”“You did! You saved me there! I had just lost and… you came there for me-”“You got that wrong.” Kaiji got quiet instantly. “I saw an opportunity, a hint for another match. You gave me that hint so I gave you your share.” Kaiji felt like he had lost his tongue for a moment but he caught it back, although stuttering a little.“W-well… that was… You still saved me there. And so quickly too…”“It helped knowing there had already been foul play going on, it wasn’t too difficult to figure out. It took more time for me to get them to give the money I won.”“So, how much was it? In total?”“Including your 20,000… 75,000 yen.” More than triple the amount of what Kaiji had. The man let out a silent gasp.“75,000...?!”“That leaves me 55,000 yen which is still more than what you got.” Kaiji felt his cheeks getting warmer. “And that isn’t even all I have with me so I’m good.”“W-what? You have more money than that?!”“Of course I do.” Akagi's bag had been sitting on the floor next to the table, and now he lifted it above it, letting it drop onto it with a surprisingly heavy “thump”. Kaiji stared at it. “You can count it.” Once again, just like before, Akagi turned his eyes somewhere to the wall, looking at something that wasn’t there, all the while Kaiji stared at the bag. He brought his hands on the closure of it and opened it. Instead of opening it completely, Kaiji leaned in closer to look inside it.He made a quiet choked noise.“Is… that all real?”“They don’t carry fake notes in parlors, that would get them killed.”“...and you carry them all with you like this?”“Where else would I keep them?”Kaiji couldn’t answer that. With his fingers feeling feeble, like wet noodles, he closed the bag and looked up at Akagi.“Amazing… it really is you, you really are Akagi…” The younger man didn’t respond, not with his words, eyes or any kind of gesture. If it had been someone else, the silence would have felt quite arrogant but Kaiji didn’t get such feeling from Akagi’s relaxed face and posture - it rather looked like Akagi wasn’t willing to continue the topic. Kaiji didn’t want him to feel bad, Akagi was a guest and Kaiji really looked up to him, but this was special. Akagi was special. “I didn’t see it myself but… whatever happened at that parlor… I know it was amazing. I wasn’t there so…” He swallowed thickly, a nervous little smile curving his lips. “I’d like to have a little gamble with you myself.”Finally, Akagi’s head turned back to him. He said no word, so Kaiji continued,“It doesn’t need to be anything complicated, just a simple game…”“So, just a game, not a gamble.” Once again, Kaiji felt a bit silly but that didn’t make him any less excited of the opportunity.“Yes, if that is okay with you.”“...sure, why not.” Kaiji felt his heart jump in his chest right before Akagi asked, “Do you have a game on your mind?”“Uhh… I have a deck of cards… or we could flip a coin… or, is that too simple…?”“Flipping a coin sounds good. We can use one of mine.” Akagi reached for his bag again, rummaged the bottom of it, took out one coin of 500 yen and held it between his thumb and index finger for Kaiji to see. “Kaiji-san, you don’t need much for a good game, or a gamble. Make a simple game more interesting by adding specific rules and conditions, and you are good to go. Also, cheating is often more difficult when there are as few tools used as possible.” The edges of Akagi’s thin lips curved upwards, just a little, almost not at all, but Kaiji saw it, and he liked it. “This coin has two sides, let’s call the number side ‘heads’ and the side with the flowers ‘tails’. You requested for a game so you think up some rules for this game, considering these two sides.” That took Kaiji by a slight surprise but he agreed with Akagi: it was his responsibility to come up with a game for them to play. In his quick thoughts, he raised his other hand to his chin.“Well… Instead of proceeding a flip by a flip, we could bet on, say, three or more flips beforehand and see which of us gets most of them right. And they have to be on the exact same order that we decide on.” He looked at Akagi again. “Is that good enough?”“It is, sounds good. How many rounds? Is three enough, nine flips in total for each of us?” Kaiji nodded. “Which of us starts?”“You can flip the coin for me first.” Kaiji fixed his position on the pillow, obviously excited. Akagi asked,“What are your bets?”“Heads, heads, tails.” Smiling, Akagi swiftly sent the coin up flying. They both watched its rise above their heads and landing down, just as swiftly caught between Akagi’s palms. He held the coin between them for a second, then lifted his upper hand away. Number 500 was visible. Kaiji grinned.“Yessss!”“Second flip.” Akagi took the coin into his right hand and repeated the motion. His palm slapped on top of the coin, stayed there for a moment, then rose again - revealing the number side. Kaiji let out another noise of excited success.“Looks good!”“The final flip of your first round.” Kaiji grinned widely during the now familiar sequence of Akagi flipping the coin and catching it. He stared at Akagi’s hands, the upper palm moved off…A third heads.“Huh?”“That’s lucky… or it would have been, had you bet on three heads in a row.”“Aww…” Kaiji sighed as he took the coin from Akagi’s palm. His fingers brushed against it, it felt warm. It wasn’t weird but Kaiji was still surprised by it. He looked back at his opponent. “So, what are your bets?”“Hmhmhm…” Akagi chuckled, and, somehow, Kaiji couldn’t help but feel a bit weirded out. “It’s just a simple game so I’m just going with what I already saw, meaning what you got on your own turn. So, my bet for my turn is… three heads in a row.”“W-what?” Kaiji blinked. “That is very unlikely…”“It already happened to you. Flip it.” Kaiji restrained a shrug and flipped the coin. Just like Akagi had done, he caught the yen coin on top of his left palm and instantly covered it with his right one. One second, then the revelation. Heads.“You got the first one right…” Akagi didn’t reply so Kaiji continued on to the second flip. Into the air, onto his palm, another covering it, lifted in a second. Kaiji’s eyes widened. “Another heads!”“Then, the last one.”Kaiji prepared for the last flip, thinking in his mind, ‘All the flips so far have resulted in the heads, all five of them! There can’t possibly be a sixth one!’ He sent the coin up, watched it fall, and in half a second it was between his hands again. It was then when Kaiji noticed it: his palms felt warmer than just a while ago. It took him one more second than before to reveal the outcome.He gasped. Akagi smiled.“I guess I was lucky.”“That is… That was six heads in a row!”“You were the one flipping the coin this time.”“I know… Anyway, I guess that’s one round win for you.” He gave the coin back to Akagi. “Another round.”“Yes, Kaiji-san.” Kaiji thought for a moment, then said,“Tails, heads, tails.” Akagi wasted no time but flipped the coin. Now, Kaiji stared at Akagi’s hands, waiting to see the outcome. It was tails. “Okay…” Another flip of the round. Another catch. Another tails. “No!”“There is still the third one.” Kaiji’s lips pressed tightly together. Throw, catch… tails. Kaiji cried,“Again?! Three times the same?!”“That happens.” Kaiji let out a quiet groan. The coin was passed to him while Akagi said,“Tails, tails, tails.” Kaiji shot a glare at him.“Really? Are you going to do that in the last round too?” Akagi’s smug smile seemed more annoying to Kaiji right then.“Maybe.”“You can’t.”“Of course I can. It’s my bet.” Kaiji rolled his eyes, this caused the other young man to hum in amusement again.“Here it goes…” A bit more hastily than in the first round of Akagi’s, Kaiji threw the coin and snatched it between his hands. Without waiting too long he checked the outcome. “Tails…” Just as quickly, the coin was in the air, back in Kaiji’s hands, revealed. “Tails…” Kaiji didn’t know what exactly he was feeling, it was a mixture of annoyance and curiosity to see the third, the last result of the round. The coin made a tiny ‘chink’, spinned in the air, finally stopped and was then revealed. Kaiji made a loud sound of bewilderment while Akagi chuckled, deeper this time.“Just like I said: tails, tails, tails.”“This… is just weird!”“That is luck, Kaiji-san. With one coin with two sides, it’s basically either or. No compromises, just coincidences.”Akagi was right, and knowing it made Kaiji feel even more foolish. He frowned, his cheeks practically glowing pink.“Probably so… It’s two wins for you, does the final, third round even matter now?”“Hmhm… We can make it matter.” Kaiji’s eyes widened again, now in a bemused manner when Akagi reached for the contents in his bag and took out another stack of yen bills, only this time it was twice as thick as what Kaiji had gotten earlier. Akagi threw it on the middle of the table. Kaiji gulped, Akagi paid it no attention. “If you get your bets correct in this last round, you’ll get this, no need to go to my round. How does that sound?”Kaiji felt words get stuck in his throat again. He stared at the money right in front of him.“...I can’t do that…”“How come?”“You should know already, I don’t have that kind of money, or anything as valuable… That is worth more than everything I own!”“Kaiji-san.” The older man carefully peeked at Akagi under his long, messy fringe. “To me, it doesn’t need to be material. I don’t need much, carrying much weight is only frustrating to me.”“So…” Kaiji started quietly, “what could I possibly set as my bet?”Akagi hummed.“Maybe I can think of something, if I get to have my final round.”“What do you mean?”“In short: if you get your bets right, you win, and we won’t continue to my turn. If I lose, neither of us wins, and the game is over.” Kaiji stayed quiet. “Like I said, no compromises, only coincidences.” Kaiji looked back at the neat stack of money on the table.Kaiji wondered. What could Akagi possibly want if he won? All kinds of images flashed in his mind, he did remember what he, himself, had bet on gambles before, and not all of them had turned out well for him - he felt sudden tingling sensations on his other cheek, one ear and four of his fingers of his left hand, all of them which beared old but still visible scars. If not more, Kaiji’s past had taught him at the very least one thing: one should never gamble blind, bet on something without knowing the potential consequences. Akagi telling Kaiji to simply wait for the game to end was suspicious, something not to be trusted, logically thinking....but since when has gambling been purely about logic? Akagi getting all of his guesses right was anything but logical. And Kaiji wanted to follow that thrilling lack of logic, too.“...we are supposed to bet before each flip, right?”“That is correct.”“What if… What if I bet like we have done so far, then you flip the coin, but then I decide that I want you to turn your hands over before you reveal the coin?”Akagi blinked.“Turn my hands over?”“When you still have the coin between your hands. And I get to decide if I want you to do it.”“Huh, so the outcome would be opposite of what it would be if I didn’t turn the coin over.”“Exactly.” Kaiji stared at Akagi, looking at signs of hesitation, but there was only a hint of awe. Then he saw Akagi’s lips form a wider smile.“That doesn’t change the rules so it’s fine. I will catch the coin, then wait for you to decide if you want me to turn my hands over, right?”“That’s right.” Kaiji handed the coin over to Akagi. Still smiling, the white-haired youngster took it.“Final round, then. You ready?” Kaiji forced a smile and nodded.“More than ready. Heads, three times.” Kaiji’s smile quivered a little as Akagi let out another chuckle, this time slightly louder.“That would be amazing… The chances are low, you know.”“It has already happened, why wouldn’t it happen now?”“Hmhmhm… You aren’t wrong,” Akagi smiled, locking eyes with Kaiji for a moment. That look, those eyes sent a warm wave over Kaiji’s face and chest - it was exciting, maybe a bit scary, but scary in a good way. “First.” Kaiji heard Akagi’s fingernail click against the coin, then his one palm slap onto his other. “Do I turn it over?”Kaiji didn’t want to think too long about it.“Don’t. Open them.” Akagi did. It was heads. Kaiji exhaled.“Second.” Coin up, coin down, coin hidden.“Turn them over.” Akagi followed Kaiji’s demand without saying a word, then revealed another heads. “Oh…”“Third. Possibly the last of this game.” Kaiji nodded for Akagi to continue.Ting.Slap.“Which is it?”That moment, Kaiji felt the need to ponder for a moment - which was kind of absurd, it was a fifty-fifty chance, Kaiji would either win or lose and the chances for each were equal.“...Turn over…” Akagi’s hands turned - “No! Turn it back!” The hands turned back to their original position and stayed still. Akagi’s eyes were on Kaiji, Kaiji’s were on Akagi’s hands. “Open.”Two seconds. Four seconds. Carefully, Akagi’s hand moved away. Kaiji felt something pressing around his heart.“It…” Kaiji heard Akagi humming, and he groaned. “It was so close.”“Too bad, Kaiji-san. You made the wrong choice right at the last second.” Kaiji’s entire posture flopped, suddenly he looked like the complete stranger Akagi had seen only a couple of hours ago. Kaiji shook his head slowly. Akagi observed the defeated man in front of him while he placed the coin on the table and gently pushed it towards him. “Kaiji-san, we have to get through this game. It’s my turn now.” Kaiji made no sound. “Kaiji-san.” Still no sound. “I only need one flip. I either win or lose.” Akagi lowered his head a little, trying to see Kaiji’s face. He saw a pair of tightly together pursed lips and a heavy blush across the man’s face, reaching all the way to his ears. Akagi calmly continued, “I won’t take any of your belongings, or touch you if I win. This isn’t a serious gamble.” The entire apartment was silent. The residence of it finally muttered,“I wanted to get serious because… you are Akagi Shigeru. But I don’t have anything what it takes to seriously take on you.” This time, it was Akagi who got quiet. Kaiji didn’t see it but his narrow eyes suddenly got wider, softer, and his mouth opened just a little. “I wanted to meet you at least once in my life. I got what I wished for. But I have absolutely nothing to give to you. I’m sorry, Akagi.”None of this was familiar to Akagi. No aggression, no threats… ...an apology?Akagi spoke again.“We have been talking about heads and tails this entire time, that has been the entire game.” Kaiji moved a little but kept his face down. “But, what if I didn’t bet on either of them?”That sentence caused Kaiji to finally look up, his eyes staring at him.“Huh?”“I won’t bet on either heads or tails.”“Huh? That… you can’t do it!”“You are saying that again, ‘you can’t do it’... Why can’t I?”“Akagi!” Kaiji cried out, his face showing nothing but disbelief, and yelled, “It’s either or! There are only two sides on the coin! There are only two possibilities!”“Two possibilities?” Kaiji froze at his place. Akagi wasn’t smiling anymore, he looked more serious than ever once during their time together. “I’ll do this my way. It isn’t the same as we have done so far but you will see: it can be possible.” Akagi took the coin back into his hand, Kaiji’s eyes following it.“What are you -”Akagi threw the coin violently past Kaiji’s head, and they only heard loud clinking sounds as it hit the wall, the floor, the floor again, and disappeared under the dresser. Kaiji looked at its direction, his eyes and mouth wide open.“W-what - what was that?!”“If we did it the normal way, I wouldn’t have a chance. The coin is now there somewhere, you can go check how it is.”“Check… check what?”“Just go and see where the coin is. But carefully.”Akagi had returned to his previous state of looking at the wall. Kaiji stared at him, still surprised and confused, but soon he crawled in front of the dresser. He lowered his head on the floor and looked under it. A thin layer of dust was there, as well as a comb he thought he had lost… and next to it, he saw one single coin on its edge.Neither heads nor tails. The 500 yen coin had stopped and stayed in perfect balance.Kaiji’s arms felt weak but he pushed himself to sit up, his eyes staring at nothing. He heard Akagi’s voice,“How is it?”Kaiji hardly had to think of what to say.“You won.”“I see.” Akagi took the last gulp of his tea and took both his and Kaiji’s empty cups to the sink and left them there, then he leisurely walked to the other man. Kaiji hardly lifted his face but he looked at Akagi without uttering a word. Akagi kneeled next to him and looked directly into his eyes, a small smile on his lips again. “Forget about that futon. You said it gets colder in here during nights. Your bed is big enough for both of us.”Kaiji jumped and bumped loudly against the dresser, and Akagi, in turn, jumped slightly back in surprise, his eyes wider. If Kaiji had been blushing before, it was nothing compared to the red shade on his cheeks right now.“In… in my bed?!”“Yes.”“Both of us?!”“Is that a problem?”Kaiji’s open mouth didn’t utter a sound in a moment, then he asked,“Isn’t that weird?”“Not to me. Is it to you?”Another moment.“...not really.”The lights were off, the curtains closed, two pillows and duvets on the bed, two young men side by side, back to back. Kaiji had chosen the side next to the wall, and he wasn’t sure if he already regretted it or not. He wasn’t sleepy in the slightest but he believed Akagi wanted to rest. He closed his eyes and listened to the quiet breathing behind him. The last words Akagi had said to him before lying down echoed faintly in Kaiji’s ears.
“I just arrived to this town, there is lots for me to see. I’ll be staying here for a while. I’ll pay you for your help.”
Akagi was staying.Kaiji felt warmer than he had in months.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Kaiji woke up, the first thing he thought of was Akagi’s white hair. Then, the mental image of the young man completed itself, including Akagi’s calm face and slender body, and with that, Akagi’s voice talked in Kaiji’s mind.
“I just arrived to this town, there is lots for me to see. I’ll be staying here for a while. I’ll pay you for your help.”
Kaiji squeezed his already closed eyes tightly shut. It could have been just a dream. This was certainly his bed, he recognised the rough, worn bed sheet under him. He could still have been alone, like he had been ever since he left home to live on his own. Akagi’s words had been just a dream... and - Kaiji just remembered it - that gamble too. Certainly a dream. And the quiet breathing behind his back before he fell asleep? Definitely -He still heard it. Definitely, there was a quiet noise of someone breathing behind him, on the other side of the bed.Kaiji’s eyes opened. ‘Oh... my...
fuck.'Somehow, for some reason, he felt incredibly nervous as he carefully turned to look over his shoulder, and Kaiji pressed his lips tightly together to suppress a tiny surprised noise: that white hair could only belong to one person.Akagi was breathing silently, the blanket over him raised a little alongside of deep inhales, and then lowered with slow sighs. The curtains left a tiny gap revealing only a small part of the window but it was enough to emit a gentle beam of light that let Kaiji see the back of Akagi’s head, neck and a tiny portion of his back and another shoulder. Kaiji stared for a moment, then carefully rolled to his other side, closer to Akagi, and now he could see what was visible of Akagi in detail. His white hair had dried during the night, and even after the night, it remained fluffy yet oddly straight. Kaiji couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to touch it...Kaiji swallowed thickly.'Is that my hair conditioner I smell? It must be...'There was no reason for Kaiji to but he blushed, he couldn’t help it. And right then he remembered how he had pondered if taking the side next to the wall was a good idea - at that moment it became clear it wasn’t, for now he wanted to get out of the bed but that would mean that he either had to wake Akagi up or somehow manage to fling himself over him on to the floor. Both options seemed like embarrassing things to try, for entirely different reasons. Kaiji sighed in despair.His sigh was followed by Akagi’s voice.“Awake?”That time, Kaiji couldn’t suppress his high-pitched noise of surprise.“Y-yes...”“Ah.”“...g-good morning...”“Morning.” With that, Akagi rolled from his side to lay down on his back, his eyes immediately finding Kaiji’s own. “Slept well?”Kaiji smiled, yet he assumed that it wasn’t a very relaxed one.“I did... surprisingly so...”“You aren’t accustomed to sleeping next to another person?”“No,” Kaiji quietly admitted.“Me neither.”“Haa…”“But this bed is nice. Thanks a lot.”“No, it’s nothing special, the least I can -” Suddenly Kaiji remembered that he had been repeating those same words quite many times last night. He got quiet and looked at over the window.
“Seems like it’s quite sunny outside...”“It must be midday by now.”“Probably so...” Kaiji shoved his blanket off his body and looked at Akagi. “Do you want some tea? Or coffee? I have instant coffee...”“I’ll take whatever you make,” Akagi replied as he sat up and let his soles land on the floor. Kaiji saw the back of Akagi’s white hair sticking up funnily, smirked and then crawled past him and got up from the bed.“Coffee it is. I need that caffeine if I really want to wake up.” He yawned widely as he began preparing hot water for their morning drinks. It was only when Kaiji was watching the kettle steaming that he realised he was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of briefs, his usual sleeping attire: he wondered if Akagi was uncomfortable seeing him like that. He turned a bit to face Akagi more properly and began, “Uhh... ““Thank you for letting me borrow your clothes,” Akagi said before Kaiji could even think of how he wanted to form his question.“Ah, no problem... We are pretty much the same size, those fit you perfectly...”Akagi got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom.“I’m going to change to my own clothes now.”“Okay... Do you have spare ones?”“No, but it’s fine.”Kaiji' raised his eyebrows.“You don’t? I can wash yours, you can borrow mine.”“Kaiji-san, you don’t need to do that -”“You will be staying here anyway, I might as well do that today,” Kaiji insisted. “When even was the last time you washed yours?”Instead of replying right away, Akagi turned his gaze down to his toes and muttered,“You’re asking too many questions, Kaiji-san.” This made Kaiji let out a short ‘pffth’ noise.“Just take mine, it’s no problem at all.”He watched Akagi look carefully through Kaiji’s clothes in the drawer and take a pair of pants, underwear, and another T-shirt to change into. While Akagi disappeared into the bathroom to change, Kaiji prepared clean mugs, added some instant coffee and poured hot water into them. He hummed a bit to himself. ‘This is so weird, waking up with someone like this... yet it feels so natural?’ It felt natural and comfortable for Kaiji, yet he couldn't say if it was the same for the other young man. It was difficult to read Akagi’s ever so calm expression...Akagi returned from the bathroom, and as he saw Kaiji sitting at the table, much like he had been sitting the previous night, Akagi sat down to his own side.“Thank you.”“No problem.”With that, they both silently sipped on their hot coffee. Akagi had his eyes closed, Kaiji had his eyes on him. After a while he talked again.“Is there something you’d like to do today?”Akagi took a short moment to swallow down a gulp of coffee before replying.“Usually I would leave as soon as I could, just go out and see around the town... to see what there is. The light time only offers the surface but at least I would know what to look for when it gets darker.”“I see...” Kaiji knew what Akagi meant: only a gambler could understand another gambler. “I thought about this... I assume you’d like to go out and come back here whenever you wanted, no matter if I am home myself or not.”“Ideally...”“I can give you my spare key. Right now I don’t have it with me, I keep it... elsewhere.” Kaiji hoped Akagi didn’t notice the small pause - either he didn’t or then he did but chose to ignore it. “I can get it for you today.”“That sounds good.” Akagi finished his drink, got up and left the mug into the tiny sink. “I am going out either way, you can go get it, I’ll come back here when I am done looking around.”“Fine by me,” Kaiji smiled a little. Akagi went to put his shoes on, took his light jacket and opened the door. Before stepping outside, he glanced over his shoulder at Kaiji who was just finishing his coffee. He returned the gaze, then waved his hand a little. “See you soon.”Akagi stared at him for a moment.“...I’ll come back later.” And with that, he left the apartment, closing the door gently. Kaiji looked at it, as if still seeing the other young man there, then blinked. ‘Oh wow... That was... not as awkward as I had expected it to be.’ Kaiji’s eyes gazed up at the grey ceiling. He let his thoughts spin in his mind for a while before he sighed to himself. “What have I gotten myself into... again?” He could only wonder what it would be like to have Akagi as his roommate, the only and the first he had ever had.

He hadn’t been to that specific office building in a while - and truth to be told, Kaiji had kind of wished he wouldn’t need to go there in a long time either. But because he had already promised to get another key for Akagi to use, Kaiji braced himself to meet an old acquaintance of his. ‘I'll just ask for the key and then get out - that’s all there is to it,’ Kaiji told himself as he climbed up the stairs and reached a very familiar door. He knocked on it, and a reply came from the other side: an older man’s gruff voice.“Who’s there?”Kaiji opened the door and stepped into an office which smelled of smoke and paperwork. His eyes went straight to the work desk where a man wearing a worn suit and a pair of sunglasses (despite the blinds of the window behind him being partially closed) was sitting. Kaiji nodded at him.“Endou-san.”“Kaiji-kun?” The man stood up from his chair. “This sure is a surprise, I didn’t expect you...”“I still have no phone, I didn’t call you - I just came here for a moment.”“Oh? For what exactly?”“Nothing big - I just want the spare key to my apartment.”Endou eyed Kaiji quietly from behind his desk.“What for?”The younger of the two eyed back.“It’s my key. Something came up, I want the spare one too.”“I don’t suppose you lost it?”“I didn’t, I just... want the spare key. Where is it? You have it, right?”“Of course I do.” Kaiji looked silently at the man who went to a shelf near the desk, opened a tiny safe there and soon took out a key. Closing the safe, he said, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Kaiji-kun - but if there’s some reason you want this key for, you should tell me.”Something about the way Endou had said that made Kaiji feel a bit nervous.“It isn’t anything special... I just want it - just in case.”“You aren’t going to give this to someone?”Kaiji’s calm face got a bit stiffer.“No -... None of your business.”“Hey, now...” Endou turned back to Kaiji and swayed the key in his hand at him. “You know that’s not true: it is my duty to keep my eye on you, to make sure you are behaving yourself in that apartment. You wouldn’t have gotten it without me after all.” Kaiji glared back at him and lifted his hand towards the key.“Can you just cut it off? I am not doing anything -!”“Alright, alright - but first,” Endou pulled the key away from Kaiji’s fingers, “I want something in return.”Kaiji’s glare turned into a pair of visibly irritated, wide eyes.“What the fuck do you want?! I just wanted to get that and -”“Kaiji-kun,” Endou murmured, and Kaiji got quiet instantly. “It sure has been a long while, I was actually very surprised by it. Have you been doing well?”“...what the hell, I didn’t come here for a conversation,” Kaiji groaned. “Just -”“Just a short moment? For old times’ sake?”Kaiji froze at his place. He did remember a thing or two about those “old times”, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to recall them. Yet, just the thought made an embarrassed blush appear on his face. Kaiji lowered his stare down from Endou’s eyes.“I don’t know...”“You aren’t sure, huh. How about this: we get...
this done, and you don’t need to worry about this month’s rent.”Kaiji’s eyes shot back up.“Eh?”“Isn’t that a good deal?” The older man’s right hand cupped lightly on Kaiji’s crotch, covered with thick, dark denim. Kaiji saw a greedy glint in the man's eyes, even behind his sunglasses. “For both of us?”Kaiji swallowed.He always had such a hard time saying ‘no’.Very fast, too fast, Kaiji’s blushing face was also covered in sweat, and his swallow was bitter, both in taste and feelings.

Kaiji wasn’t proud of himself but he did get the spare key in the end, and was now on his way to the nearest market to get something for himself and Akagi. Only as he wandered around the aisles searching for anything cheap and edible, he wondered if Akagi was a picky eater, if he had allergies, if there was something specific he really liked. Kaiji felt weird: thinking of such personal things was a strange sensation to him, as he was perfectly used to living by himself. Finally, he arrived at his - their apartment, only to find it unoccupied. He stuffed the groceries into the tiny fridge, more coffee and several cups of instant noodles into one shelf above the sink. He didn’t remember the last time he had bought this much food at once.Then, he found himself sitting at the table, alone, in silence. He felt oddly vigilant, even though there was absolutely nothing to be so for. Kaiji looked at the other side of the table, seeing the cushion that had clearly been sat on just recently, that very morning.Just one night, and he was already keen on the idea of Akagi living with him.Kaiji shook his head. He felt stupid. To avert any more silly thoughts away from his mind, he turned on the tiny TV and watched whatever comedy show was on.He wasn’t sure if specifically waiting for the white-haired boy to return was a good idea, as he had said he would be looking around the town, and that definitely would take a long time for a first-time visitor. Kaiji could only muse if Akagi saw something normal people couldn’t, get a scent for danger in a broad daylight, a scent he could follow as the nightly darkness reached the town. What exactly did Akagi wish to see at these early hours?Once again, Kaiji let out a deep exhale.“I’m not worried, only curious... it is Akagi Shigeru after all.” Kaiji thought if he should have asked to accompany Akagi on his visit to the central area but immediately rejected the idea: surely Akagi didn’t want that, he always worked alone - so Kaiji had heard and deduced from the rumours he had heard concerning the young legend.Still, Kaiji kind of wished he could have been part of Akagi’s adventures - his gambles, challenges and victories.

After two hours, Kaiji took Akagi’s washed clothes out of his old washing machine and hung them to dry on a drying rack in the bathroom.Again, after two hours, while reading whatever free magazines he had lying around, he wondered if something had caught Akagi’s interest.Another hour. Had Akagi already found a place and time for a gamble?Around nine in the evening, Kaiji began to worry.Of course, he had no reason to. But all kinds of terrifying possibilities popped into his head, all the while he was laying down on the floor, his head turned to the television’s direction, his thoughts turned to Akagi’s direction. ‘He is returning here, isn’t he? He didn’t get lost, did he? ...he can’t be in trouble, can he?’ He inhaled. ‘He... didn’t... leave? His clothes are still here. But they are just that, just clothes...'
His thoughts turned too sour to his liking so he got up in order to cheer himself up in one of his favourite ways: eating. Instant noodles weren’t rich in nutritional value but the taste itself was rich enough for him. Hot water into the plastic noodle cup, a pair of chopsticks sitting on top of it, then Kaiji waited for the noodles to cook, now back on his previous spot at the table.“...I should ask what Akagi likes to eat,” Kaiji said to himself aloud, just to break the air of loneliness. “He looks really thin... Does he even eat properly?” He looked at the clock. Twenty-five past nine. “He must be starving if he hasn’t eaten at all today...” He fell silent, the TV still blaring in the corner, an emotional drama showing. Kaiji heard a woman say in a greatly hurt voice,
“Why must he keep me waiting?”
Kaiji snorted.“Damn right.”Right then, someone knocked on the door.Kaiji’s heart jumped, and at the next moment he, himself, jumped up and went to open the door. It was pitch-black outside, and standing at the doorstep was Akagi. It wasn’t weird or unexpected but Kaiji still felt an imaginary balloon of happiness fill up in his chest, and he swallowed a tickly feeling down his throat.“Welcome back.” He made way for the other young man and silently watched him take off his jacket and shoes, then walked to his sitting spot as Akagi sat on his own. Kaiji couldn’t keep quiet but asked, “So, what do you think? Of the town?”Akagi looked somewhere over Kaiji’s shoulder and replied,“I did see the surface, it’s peaceful, not bad at all.”“And the evening?”“I already saw some of that yesterday, I did stumble upon a couple of new interesting places. I’m going there tomorrow night.”“Tomorrow night, already?”“I would have gone tonight but...” Akagi paused. “I’m here.”“Ahaha...” Kaiji smiled. “Oh yeah, I got the key for you.” Kaiji fumbled his pockets and handed the key to the other young man who took it wordlessly and left it on the table. Kaiji said, “I trust you not to lose that, I got asked way too many questions when I went to get it.” Akagi still didn’t look at him but asked,“How come?”“Huh?”“How come he was so interested in it?”“Ah...” Kaiji was relieved that Akagi’s eyes were focused on elsewhere, now he didn’t see the red shade on Kaiji’s cheeks - or so he hoped. “He... is just a nosy guy. We have known each other for a quite long time, and I owe him... in a way. He actually asked if the key is for someone else.”“What did you say?”“I said it’s just for me, of course. It would be trouble if he knew -”“It would be trouble if anyone knew,” Akagi said sharply - the sudden voice surprised Kaiji. “It would be trouble for both of us. I don’t know much about you but you, too, have some history with gambling, and someone might notice that there’s two of us living here together instead of just you. And if someone happened to see me coming here...”Kaiji looked down at the table.“I’ll keep quiet about you. I won’t bring anyone here.”“Anyone, right? Just you and me here, at all times?”Kaiji swallowed.“Yes.”Akagi fell silent, and that was the end of the discussion, Kaiji thought. Then, his eyes noticed the noodle cup.“Oh, yeah... I only got some groceries for this evening but... What have you eaten today?”Still staring at somewhere else completely, Akagi mumbled,“Nothing.”“...nothing?!”“It’s fine.”“Fuck you, it’s not fine,” Kaiji huffed, and for a moment he was shocked by the choice of his words towards Akagi but immediately continued, “Here, have this, it’s shrimp, is that fine?”Akagi finally lowered his eyes on the table as Kaiji took the cup and put it in front of him. It was still steaming, now ready to be consumed. Akagi looked at it.“This is yours, isn’t it?”“I mean, I got it for myself... But I'm not really that hungry. Eat this.” Akagi’s eyes glanced at Kaiji briefly before he carefully took off the cup’s tin lid, dug the pair of chopsticks into the noodles and carefully took in a mouthful. Kaiji smirked, satisfied. “Is it good? I don’t even know what kind of food, or which flavours you like -”“I’m fine with anything.” Kaiji blinked. “...maybe fish is my favourite.”“Fish?”“Fish... or seafood in general.”That wasn’t a weird answer, yet Kaiji was surprised to hear it anyway.“I’ll keep that in mind.” Akagi hummed in response. ”...also I’ll cook something proper for you...”“No need,” Akagi said softly, and they both fell in silence while the TV was still showing the romantic drama. “I’ll never leave your side,”
a man’s voice said, and it wouldn’t have bothered Kaiji normally but now he felt the need to quickly fetch the remote control and switch the television off, a slight blush on his cheeks.“Thanks for the food,” he heard Akagi say.“Mmmhmm,” Kaiji gave his muffled reply.“Where is the mattress?”“Mmmhh? Why are you asking?”“I’ll sleep on that tonight. You did have one, didn’t you?”“Oh, yeah, I do... but it’s fine, I can take -”“I don’t want to sleep on your bed, this isn’t even my house.”“...If you say so... I’ll get it for you.”The mattress was tightly rolled under the bed, soon laid down on the floor next to Kaiji’s bed and covered in a couple of blankets and one pillow that Kaiji had managed to find. This new made-up bed didn’t seem very inviting to Kaiji.“...Seriously, I am not letting you sleep on thi-”Immediately, before Kaiji could even finish his sentence, the other young man had already fallen on top of the mattress and rolled himself inside the blankets, like an insect safely nested in a cocoon. Kaiji started again,“Uhh... Are you really fine with that...?”“I’m fine, and I'm also tired.”“...okay.”Kaiji had a hunch it wouldn’t make much difference for him to insist more on the switch, he decided to leave it be - for that night at the very least. He lazily brushed his teeth and changed into lighter clothing in the bathroom - too embarrassed to do it in front of Akagi - and then headed to his bed, this time alone. Akagi hadn’t moved at all, and he remained quiet even after Kaiji had turned off the lights and crawled under his blanket."..." Kaiji wondered if he needed to say anything. “...tell me if it gets too cold and uncomfortable.” He had wanted to say anything.A quiet response came somewhere on the floor.“This is better than good.”Kaiji wasn’t so sure about that but said nothing.Even moments before he fell asleep, Kaiji mulled over if he should have said ‘good night’ to the younger man.

Akagi woke up, for no reason really, yet he was completely awake and alert as he opened his eyes, only to see the darkness in the room. The blinds on the window were closed so he managed to distinguish details of the room only hazily - it must’ve been in the middle of the night, the darkest hours. Even so, he put his arms under his head and looked up at the ceiling, breathing calmly.It wasn’t like he was particularly restless but now that he was awake again, he wanted to move, leave the mattress and its warmth... just to do anything else than lay down quietly. Akagi had the spare key now - he just remembered - so he was now free to go out whenever he wanted, even Kaiji had said so.Akagi hummed, and looked at the direction where he knew was the other man’s bed, and the man himself. Akagi heard irregular, short noises of low snoring - Kaiji was asleep. Akagi sat up and, with the utmost care, neatly arranged his pillow and blankets before getting up to retrieve his clothes and the spare key, and soon he was dressed and heading towards the door leading outside, carrying the bag full of money. The lock made a clack, and Akagi hoped it wasn’t loud enough to interrupt the other young man’s sleep. He turned around. The room was silent. Akagi waited some more. Another quiet grunt came from Kaiji’s bed’s direction. The corners of Akagi’s lips curved upwards. He stepped into the chilly night, closed the door after him, and left to do… whatever he would run into. He didn’t have plans but he did have time and money, and the key to Kaiji’s - their apartment - pressed lightly againt his hip in his jeans’ pocket.

Only a few hours later, the first beams of another morning’s sunlight illuminated through the blinds, directly falling on Kaiji’s face: that was the first thing helping him to get his consciousness back. That, and a feeling of inexplicable loneliness.
“I’ll never leave your side.”
What a cheesy thing to say. Then again, it had been one of those overly romantic, even more overly dramatic dramas.Kaiji’s brows furrowed a little.
“I’ll be staying here for a while."
Kaiji recalled Akagi’s words, and then many other thoughts came with it.How long would be a while? When it was time for Akagi to leave, what would be the reason? And how would Kaiji himself feel about it? One night’s unexpected encounter had already marked something special in Kaiji’s mind. There were so many questions to be answered......could Akagi really get a good sleep on that horribly thin and old mattress?Kaiji inhaled.The lock of the door clacked.Kaiji forced his eyes open.Someone was moving near the table. Thump. Steps. ...someone's presence.Kaiji slowly rolled onto his back, his eyes searching for the person’s face. That same white hair. Kaiji felt remnants of cold breeze from outside emanating from him.“...Akagi?”“I was out for a while, I just came back.”“...”“I won.”“...” Kaiji smiled. “Do you want to tell me about it?”“It wasn’t anything special.”“...give me a moment to get up.”This wasn’t too weird.Akagi was quiet and calm, and Kaiji knew he could trust him. He had gone out without Kaiji knowing but came back in the end.Kaiji could
only feel excited for another day with Akagi.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The summer was approaching its end which was evident by the lower and lower temperature outside. This didn’t stop Akagi from spending long nights who-knew-where, and for the first time during their time together, Kaiji woke up in an empty apartment, his sole companion being his own self. The mattress used by Akagi was neatly in the corner, the blankets and one pillow arranged on top. No message, no signs of anyone moving around the house, but Kaiji did notice the pair of shoes and a worn light jacket missing.And it was perfectly fine. Yet Kaiji never grew less curious about Akagi’s doings outside. And while he was thinking of Akagi, Kaiji also felt bad for not being able to be of any help financially.Just a while ago, Akagi had brought up the subject of Kaiji’s rent. After telling the white-haired man the amount of monthly pay and due dates, Akagi had rummaged around the bag he often carried with him outside, then gone back to Kaiji with a somewhat thick envelope. “Here is the payment for next month,” Akagi had said, and even though Kaiji had wanted to refuse and return the envelope, the conversation had already been over. Horribly embarrassed, he had dropped the envelope to Endou’s private letterbox outside his office and gone back home, still deeply flushed but also impressed.That didn’t feel right at all. That had felt like Kaiji was using Akagi.As Kaiji laid on the floor, fully dressed, he sighed deeply.“There must be a way... but I am not having any luck with games...” He frowned. “Work... a part-time job... Anything to ensure that I can get money on my own too...” He hated the idea, remembered some experiences from the past, and shook his head. “It can’t be helped, this isn’t just about me,” he mumbled to himself, “I don’t want to just sit around while that guy is...”Interrupting his thoughts, a knock came from the door. Kaiji raised his eyebrows: that wasn’t Akagi, otherwise he had used his key. Or did he forget it? Kaiji got up and went to open the door.“Hey, did you-”He got quiet before his sentence was finished.Endou.Seeing the man, wearing the same long-tailed jacket and probably the very same pair of sunglasses Kaiji had gotten accustomed to seeing, standing right there at his apartment’s doorstep, made Kaiji remember several things, not all of them very pleasant ones. He hacked his throat clear and mumbled,“W-what is it?”“I noticed something curious, and decided to drop by. I’m coming in.”Kaiji didn’t get a chance to try and push the man out, he was already inside and next to the table, waiting for Kaiji to follow, which he did, although hesitantly. Kaiji glared at the older man.“What do you mean, ‘something curious’?”“About the payment you sent me a while ago.”Kaiji’s eyes widened. What could have possibly gone wrong?“T-the payment?” Had Akagi lied about the sum of the money in the envelope? Or had it been fake? Only Endou could answer that right then, and Kaiji was afraid of what he’d find out. Endou’s hand searched his jacket’s inner pocket and pulled out the very same envelope Kaiji had received from Akagi.“This one. I was surprised, as you were much earlier than usual... But I didn’t expect this at all.”“O-oh?”Kaiji had no idea what to say - simply and truthfully because he had no idea what was so unexpected. Endou stared at Kaiji with serious eyes.“You didn’t steal this?”Kaiji blinked.“Huh? Steal? Steal what?”“The money. This money!”The younger man’s mouth fell wide open.“Huh?! I did not! Why are you even asking that?! I paid the rent, what is so unexpected about it?!” He was getting more and more nervous. Endou waved the envelope a bit in front of Kaiji’s nose.“Double the rent - that I could understand and accept without any questions. But a payment worth five months?”That, Kaiji had not known.“Oh.”“...Why are you looking surprised?”Kaiji hadn’t suspected the amount of the money to be any bigger than just one month’s worth. Akagi had given him five times the amount without telling.“Uh… I think I mis- ...calculated?” Right after he had said it, Kaiji realised how far-fetched he had sounded. “I mean, it is money… so what is the p-problem?” First a far-fetched explanation, then an unfortunate break on his voice - Kaiji wasn’t confident at all that very moment, and it was obvious to Endou as well. He put the envelope back into his pocket and said in a calm voice,“I need you to be completely honest with this issue, Kaiji. This isn’t about the sum of money you are paying me - it is where you are getting it from.”Kaiji couldn’t help it: he turned his eyes elsewhere, looking somewhere at the floor, and mumbled,“I have gotten a bit... lucky... in gambling recently...” It wasn’t a lie, not completely at the very least: one specific gamble had brought the source of the money to live in Kaiji’s tiny home after all.“This is what you call ‘lucky’?” Endou patted the slight bulge on his chest. “Or, maybe in your case it is luck... What game?”“Uhh... It was... rolling the d-” Kaiji paused, and instead huffed, “You yourself said it doesn’t matter how I get the money for the rent, so why are you so interested in it now?”“Kaiji,” Endou said, sternly, “is someone here with you?”Kaiji felt his heart jump.“N-no!” Another crack in his voice. “I am alone here, okay?! Get out!” Kaiji’s hands reached for Endou’s shoulders in order to force him back at the door but the man was cautious and faster than him: Kaiji’s wrists were soon gripped on by Endou’s hands, and the man pushed Kaiji against the wall behind him, all the while the younger of the two struggled as hard as he could, and again yelled, “Get out of here, I have nothing to tell you!”“Kaiji, you are one huge gambling junkie, but your poker face leaves a lot to be desired.” Kaiji gulped. “I’m not here to cause trouble so don’t cause any of it yourself either, if you want to do this peacefully.” Kaiji glared at the man who calmly stared back. “Who is it?” Kaiji remained quiet. “Are you doing it with them?”A sudden rush of warmth swept through Kaiji’s body. He knew exactly what Endou was talking about.“I am… not -”The door opened again, and Akagi stepped in. The door closed behind him as he stared at the two. Endou’s eyes got wider at the sight of him, and so did Kaiji’s, only his stare was accompanied by a heavy blush.Kaiji felt terrible.Endou thought Akagi was paying Kaiji for...“...A-... ka...”The next moment, many things happened too fast for either Endou or Kaiji to react to.Akagi was close enough to get a grip on Endou’s shoulder, he forcefully ripped him off Kaiji, and - Kaiji could see the impact even from behind Akagi’s back - threw his fist on Endou’s other cheek. The man lost his balance, and Kaiji gasped.“Akagi!” He was still leaning against the wall, unable to move in his shock. The younger man was still facing Endou who was quickly back on his feet, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. He looked at Akagi again.“So... he is the one?” Akagi opened his mouth before Kaiji could.“Is there a problem, why are you here?” Endou managed to chuckle in response.“Nooooo, no problem at all... I was visiting Kaiji-kun for a little chat but I guess... you are the one I should chat with.” Akagi glared at the man with narrow eyes, and Kaiji finally pulled himself next to him.“Akagi... It’s fine, everything is-”“It’s obvious he won’t drop the subject, I’ll talk with him.”Endou sneered.“That is what I call cooperation... Akagi-kun, was it? We might be better outside... to have some private conversation.”Kaiji groaned,“Private...! No way -”“If it’s just a short while, I’m fine with that.” Kaiji turned to him again, he couldn't help but feel like the two having a talk together was... a bad idea.“A-Akagi...” The young man glanced at him.“Just a short while won’t hurt.” Kaiji had nothing to say to that - or, nothing that he wanted to say in order to stop him anyway. Endou went for the door.“Just a while, yes. I’ll drive us elsewhere. See you later, Kaiji-kun. And don’t worry about the rent... This cleared it all up quite nicely.” Endou smiled at Kaiji but he couldn’t do the same. He watched as the door was opened and closed again, leaving him alone in the apartment once again.Kaiji fell onto his bed. Somehow, Endou had always managed to only bring bad things Kaiji's way - always, every time, yet Kaiji knew he was one of the very few people he could trust, even if only partially. Endou wouldn’t lie to Akagi either - and that was exactly what Kaiji worried about the most. Endou could tell everything, and Akagi would most likely leave.Kaiji sighed.“I alone brought this upon myself, didn’t I...”

The “private place” Endou had suggested turned out to be a bar that was quite tiny and oddly dark despite the large windows at the front. Not many customers were present either - a very quiet place, and probably private enough for... whatever Endou was going to tell Akagi. He wasn’t particularly interested in what the man had for him to tell but this was for the better: for Endou to stop pestering Kaiji.After they had sat at the bar counter, Endou ordered a drink, and turned to Akagi.“You want something?” Akagi didn’t answer, just looked around the place, calm and collected as ever. Endou chuckled again. “The quiet type, huh...” He thanked the bartender and took his drink, taking a satisfying gulp before he talked again. “Good thing you agreed to come here with me so easily, it would have become a hassle with Kaiji-kun around. No offense, really, but that guy can get... difficult sometimes.”Akagi’s voice was calm but stern as he replied,“He has paid the rent though, hasn’t he?” Endou looked at him briefly, then snorted.“He, paid the rent? Technically, yes... But I know that money wasn’t earned by himself.” Akagi said nothing. “I said it to him, and it’s true that I couldn’t care less about how he gets any money, as long as he pays for his apartment. The money itself isn’t the problem... I am just thinking of his best...”“I don’t suppose his gambling addiction is the problem either,” Akagi muttered.“It isn’t. Well, it is... If he wasn’t a gambling junkie, he wouldn’t be in this mess, after all. It’s that addiction of his that forced him to stay out of the public radar... And you must know, Akagi-kun, that it hasn’t been just gambling that has brought him money.”Only then Akagi turned to look at Endou.“Something worse than gambling?”“It’s not worse...“ That time, Endou let out a short laugh. “It fits him pretty well, I’d say! He is a man, he knows what a man wants... you know what I mean?”Akagi’s eyes didn’t even blink.“I don’t know what you mean.” Endou was about to take another sip from his drink but took the rim away from his lips.“...huh?”“I don’t know what Kaiji-san has done before, and I don’t care. His past is none of my concern.”“Ohh, but it should be,” Endou nodded. “Because often, one’s past doesn’t leave them, and that is just the case with Kaiji-kun.”“Are you going to tell me or not? This was supposed to be a brief chat,” Akagi muttered again, and this made Endou chuckle even more.“Ghahhah...! Sure, just so you know...“ Endou leaned closer to Akagi, his grin widening as he did so, and Akagi stared back at him, his mouth one thin line. “Kaiji has had sex for cash. With men. And many of those men know him from very specific situations not many are aware of.” Endou let out another short laugh. “And it seems like he hasn’t stopped doing it...” Akagi’s eyes remained calm and unwavering. “That money you have... Kaiji-kun might want to compensate for it, as he is unable to pay such large sums in common ways. So, just so you know...” The man’s grin grew wider, larger... less and less friendly and pleasant in Akagi’s eyes. “If there is one thing he is even somewhat capable of, it is not gambling.”Saying that made Endou laugh again, now louder than any previous time. Akagi was still quiet. He got up and wordlessly returned to the front door. Endou yelled after him, “It will be worth the money if you let him do his thing!” and cackled even harder. Akagi headed out and simply started walking on his usual pace.Some things got cleared, sure.Akagi hadn't even thought of possibility like this, and now he had to think... what he even thought of it.“If there is one thing he is even somewhat capable of, it is
not
gambling.”Akagi frowned.From the moment he had decided to stay at Kaiji's place, he had been sure not to get too close to the other man. Now, what he had just heard, was very personal... Surely it didn't belong to Akagi, he didn't need to know, he wasn't supposed to know - that's what he had infered from Kaiji's reactions....but did this make any difference?Akagi let his restless feet lead him wherever he felt like going. He needed a while before going back to Kaiji.

Like many times before, it was already dark when Akagi returned to his makeshift home. After opening the door and stepping into the apartment, he saw Kaiji sitting at the table - that wasn’t surprising in the slightest but the visible difference was on the table in a form of several beer cans, and a red shade on Kaiji’s face. Akagi noticed how Kaiji’s eyes took a little moment to focus on him.“Hi,” came a quiet greeting, to which Akagi didn’t reply. He took off his shoes and jacket and sat on his usual seat, facing Kaiji.“That’s a lot you’ve drank,” Akagi pointed out. Kaiji turned his eyes away, frowning.“You’ve got a problem with that?”“Not yet,” Akagi said in his usual monotone voice.“Hmmh.” Silence fell upon them, Akagi took out one cigarette for himself, and soon the air between them smelled of nicotine. Akagi looked at somewhere in the wall, all the while Kaiji looked at the opposite direction, anywhere else than Akagi’s eyes. Quiet moments weren’t unusual for them but that exact moment had a strange, heavy atmosphere pressuring on them.After a long while, Kaiji mumbled,“So, you talked to Endou.”“That I did, I don’t think it was worth the hassle though.”“Huh. So nothing new?”Akagi took a moment before answering.“Nothing that would affect our deal.” Another moment of silence.“You didn’t come here to get your stuff and leave? You are... staying?”“That’s exactly what I meant.”“...what did Endou tell you?”“Not much, just... one thing, I suppose.”“...one big thing, probably.” Akagi remained quiet. “The thing that actually matters.” Still quiet. “I’m not surprised if it disgusts you.”Right then, Akagi turned to look at Kaiji, looking clearly bemused.“Huh?”“That thing... that I have done. What I am... and...”“What you are? You are Itou Kaiji, I know you well enough -”“It’s true,” Kaiji coughed. “I’m not going to hide it anymore. Yes, I have had sex with men for money. I have done that, not just once or twice either. Just in order to get by, because there’ve been times when... everything else has just failed.” Kaiji’s sharp inhalation trembled. “I am not skilled or smart or strong like you, Akagi. Just the fact that you are the one who has paid for the rent tells as much -”“Kaiji-san,” Akagi breathed, “That... “ But he didn’t know what to say. As he fell silent, Kaiji got up, quite wobbly, and sat down on the bed’s edge. He sighed again.“I didn’t want to tell about it but... I guess... you would have gotten to know about it some way... I just didn’t assume it to be this soon.” Kaiji got quiet, Akagi stared at him, and soon the older of the two continued, “I mean... it’s weird, isn’t it?”“...what is?” Akagi asked, genuinely curious.“Two men... having sex.”Honestly, Akagi didn’t know. But he didn't want to remain quiet right then.“People say things are weird when they don’t experience or enjoy those things personally. I am weird, too.”Kaiji shot his eyes back at Akagi.“No, you are not! You are awesome!”Akagi’s brows furrowed just slightly.“I’m not...”“I think you are! Just... I can’t... I can’t even describe it...”“Kaiji-san.” Kaiji stopped talking, and he watched with widened eyes as Akagi, too, got up, and to his surprise walked over and sat down on the bed next to him. Akagi looked straight into his eyes as he continued talking. “You said things like me being skilled, smart and strong. But I don’t see myself being any of those.”Kaiji frowned.“But -”“But,” Akagi said, louder than Kaiji, “you making a decision like that proves you are strong in a way I can’t even imagine. I am... not...” Akagi turned his face away. “I have never done anything like that, so you doing it in order to survive...” He got quiet for a moment, then he said, “That’s the kind of strength I don’t have and can't even imagine to have.”Kaiji simply stared, unable to even think of the words to say. The alcohol had already made his mind - and body - somewhat numb, but Akagi’s words left him speechless. Akagi sighed quietly.“I’m not going anywhere tonight. I’m staying here.”“Ah,” Kaiji inhaled. “Uhh... I’m... I’m gonna take a shower now...”He got up, or tried his best to, but one of his feet got a somewhat unstable grounding, and Kaiji staggered - he caught himself but, to his surprise, Akagi had stood up and lifted his arms, ready to catch him. Kaiji blinked and stuttered, “I’m fine... I’m going now...”Kaiji left Akagi’s sight, and the white-haired young man stayed sitting on the bed, thinking of what he had just seen, what he had just heard. Something squeezed around his heart but he couldn’t wrap his head around what it was.

Feeling the warm water flow on his body made Kaiji’s senses more relaxed. The dirty white walls surrounded him and brought back the echo of the water splashing on and around him. He listened to it, staring right in front of him, yet his mind was focusing on something completely else.Akagi was staying after all? Even if it was just for the time being, Kaiji felt relieved. ‘I mean… He is free to do what he wants...’ He inhaled deeply. ‘But I like having him around.’Kaiji turned off the faucet. His long dark hair clung to his neck and back, dripping water, flowing over an old yet still bright red scar reading the number ‘21’ on his other arm. In Kaiji’s head, his past and present got mixed up - surely this dangerous life of his was the only reason why Akagi was there after all. Two lonely gamblers together - and now that the other man was there, Kaiji didn’t feel so lonely anymore.He liked it...A knock on the door. Kaiji turned towards it, and pushed the shower curtain away. The next second, the door opened and Akagi peeked in. Kaiji was only vaguely aware that it was the first time Akagi saw him completely naked. Akagi didn’t even blink.“It was quiet for awhile, I thought you had passed out.”Kaiji showed him a grin, a bit crooked one.“I’m fine.” After hearing that, Akagi closed the door.Kaiji’s heart throbbed stronger than just a moment earlier.He liked that, too.After drying himself and changing to lighter clothes, he returned to Akagi who was sitting on the floor, leaning his back to the bed while he watched whatever TV show was showing, until he looked up at Kaiji. He had that very small and polite smile of his on his lips.“Feel better?”Kaiji simply nodded, then plopped on the bed, facing the ceiling, breathing peacefully.From the corner of his eye, he spotted some of Akagi’s fluffy white hair.He liked that a lot as well.Akagi had said he wasn’t awesome but Kaiji knew differently - he knew what he, himself, personally felt about Akagi. Not that he would say anything about it - this relationship they had, it was not meant to become too personal. Akagi already knew too much about Kaiji, it would be better to... not say a thing. That’s what Kaiji decided right then.Suddenly, Kaiji heard Akagi’s quiet voice.“That thing on your arm...” Kaiji’s eyes widened. “Does it hurt?”“...it’s old... It did hurt at the time I got it, but not anymore.”“It looks terrible.” Kaiji swallowed. “You didn’t get that because you earned it, right?” Akagi’s voice was still calm but, Kaiji heard, it held a very audible tone of disgust.“I wasn’t prepared for it... I was forced to have it because I had lost in a game.”Akagi was quiet - but only for a moment.“Despicable fucks.”That really surprised Kaiji. He turned to look at him, or what he saw of him, mainly the back of his head and his shoulders.“W-well... It was kind of my fault...” he paused, then sighed, then continued, “All this is my fault because... I just don’t know when to stop.”Kaiji didn’t expect Akagi to reply that time - but he did.“Then you have to go for it head-on.”Kaiji was now reconsidering his decision.It would be very hard not to try get closer to Akagi.Kaiji liked him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Akagi’s breathing was rapid and shallow, even as he walked slowly, letting his heart and feet recover from the running. Inside the young man’s head, something throbbed, and from the corner of his eye, he saw dry blood on his cheek. The youngster tried to scratch most of it away with his fingernails but it only hurt his skin so he left it be. Akagi couldn’t walk around like that, the sun was about to rise on the horizon. It was time to go back.
‘Please be asleep.’

Kaiji’s breathing was slow and deep but he wasn’t fully asleep. Moving a little in his bed, the man’s consciousness was coming back to him, the faint sunlight emitting through the dusty blinds falling over him gently. Gradually, he woke up but didn’t open his eyes.
Kaiji was comfortably bundled up into a cocoon of blankets, he liked it there: it was warm and soft, and the cruel world couldn’t reach him there.Then, a key turned in the lock. Steps in, the door closing, more careful steps. Akagi was home. Kaiji was too tired to move or say anything so he let the younger man do whatever he wanted in peace. Still, curious and now more awake, Kaiji listened to the sounds
his roommate made. Soft walking. A noise of him placing something on the table - Kaiji expected it to be the suitcase
Akagi usually carried with him whenever he disappeared outside. More walking, now towards the mattress in the opposite corner from Kaiji’s bed. Quiet shuffling. Kaiji opened his drowsy eyes and looked directly in Akagi’s direction.The white-haired youth had his back turned to Kaiji, he was on his knees in front of the makeshift bed, and right then, he unzipped his pants and pushed them down to his ankles, his briefs following along and partially baring his buttocks. Kaiji felt a tender, warm fume over his face, it didn’t fade away even when Akagi pulled his underwear back up. Kaiji continued watching, all the while wondering if he was being rude… or perverted. Akagi was a guy but also a very secretive, private person... Kaiji had almost decided to turn to his other side before the other would notice him staring but, right then, he saw something that made the idea leave his mind.Akagi unbuttoned and took off his short-sleeved blouse, then started pulling his T-shirt up.Dry blood and several dark bruises.Akagi’s ears perked up at a sudden sound coming from behind his back. He only had enough time to partially turn to look behind him before he felt a hand on his bare shoulder. His body jerked at the sudden touch and his eyes looked up beside him. Kaiji was staring at him with big, furious eyes. Akagi opened his mouth but Kaiji got to talk first.“Where did those come from?”Akagi returned the gaze and calmly, way too calmly replied,“Got into trouble. But it’s not bad.”“There’s blood! Where are you bleeding from?! Do you have any other bruises?!” Kaiji took a hold of Akagi’s arm and yanked him up, pushing him towards his own bed. Akagi tried to pull his arm away from the other young man's firm grip and hissed like an angry cat,“It’s no big deal, let me go!”“First ,” Kaiji said, even louder than Akagi had, “you sit the fuck down and wait for me.” Kaiji pushed Akagi down to sit on the edge of the bed, the younger man eyed up at Kaiji, clearly annoyed.“What are you doing?”“What -” Kaiji groaned loudly as he turned and went to the bathroom, “I’m helping you, dammit!”Kaiji didn’t hear any replies from the bruised boy. He frantically rummaged through the tiny cabinet where he kept some first-aid products. Kaiji took as much as he could with him back to the bed, placed them next to Akagi and, without saying a word, dipped some antiseptic solution on a clean tissue. He leaned closer to Akagi who glared at him with slightly narrowed eyes, and after inspecting the young man's face, Kaiji gently started to pat tiny scratches on his other cheek. Akagi shut his eyes shut, his eyebrows furrowing a little. While patting away dried blood beneath the man’s nose, Kaiji hummed quietly.“At least your face looks okay...” Akagi said nothing, and Kaiji, too, was quiet for a second until he added, “Well, your face is more than okay.” He turned his eyes down as he dipped more solution on the tissue, and therefore missed Akagi opening his eyes and making a weird face at him right before closing eyes again. “I’m going to check your... other bruises now... Is that fine?”“Huh?”“...your chest.”“Umm.”Kaiji interpreted that as "I am not entirely sure if I want it", and he calmly said,“I don’t want you to stain your clothes or the bedsheets.”“...true...”“Can you lie down?”Akagi did as requested, a somewhat helpless look on his face. To Kaiji, it looked like the situation was very foreign to him, and as he sat next to him, Kaiji, too, felt uneasiness tickling his insides. The view of the white-haired young man only wearing underwear and lying down on Kaiji's bed made him feel like he was violating Akagi’s physical privacy. Kaiji mentally slapped his own face and focused on what he saw: near Akagi’s navel, a cut was still bleeding, and more scratches right below Akagi's collarbone. More questions popped into his mind but instead, Kaiji started tending to the bleeding bruise. He pressed a clean, moist tissue paper against the cut, and Akagi’s lower body twitched.“That hurts.”“I know,” Kaiji said, patting the cut with the tissue gently. More pained groans. “It needs to be cleansed first.”“Hurts more than when I got it,” Akagi muttered, and Kaiji couldn’t help but snort.“Tough guy, huh.” Kaiji didn’t need to look to know how Akagi’s eyes squinted a bit - in embarrassment or irritation, or both. “Alright, it should be fine now.” Kaiji continued by placing a wide plaster over the cut before he took a new, clean paper tissue to clean the scratches by the collarbone. Somehow, that was when Kaiji got slower in his movements and his face and hands felt just a bit hotter. He gazed at Akagi's eyes that returned the look. Kaiji wondered if he wanted to say something, then the man turned his face away quickly. Kaiji blinked. “What’s up?”“...weird.”“Hm?”“...being like this. You really don’t need to do this.”“...do what?”“Take care of me. You are not my parent or anything.”Kaiji stared at him with confused eyes for a moment, then started patting Akagi’s skin with the tissue gently.“You say I don’t ‘need’ to do this. But this isn’t about if I ‘need’ to do anything. I do this because I want to.” The two stayed silent, Kaiji cleaned Akagi’s wounds carefully, then went to retrieve a clean T-shirt for Akagi. “Here. And you’ll be sleeping in my bed.”Akagi, still lying on his back on the mattress, took the shirt into his hands but continued eyeing Kaiji, haltingly.“No need -”“Akagi, don’t make me say it twice. I want to help you - and I want you to feel good.” Kaiji turned to look elsewhere as he mumbled, “There isn’t much I can do so... please, let me do what I can.” Kaiji faced the other man, the two youngsters stared at each other, and after a moment, Kaiji blinked his eyes. “Is there blood on your forehead too?” Akagi, too, blinked his eyes and instinctively lifted his other hand over his fringe and brushed it away.“Is there?”“Can I look closer?” Kaiji sat back next to him. With a brief look, he saw he had seen correctly so he took a new, clean tissue. “I’ll wipe that off, and then I’m finished.”When Kaiji brought the tissue to Akagi’s face, the younger man closed his eyes, and Kaiji stopped his hand. Only then it occurred to him that it was the first time he saw Akagi’s forehead exposed like that, he had always seen his light-coloured fringe covering it, falling gently over his eyes that were closed that moment, giving Kaiji a chance to see his thin eyelashes in detail. A warm, gentle wave ran over Kaiji’s face. ‘No, not now.’ He gently pressed the tissue on Akagi’s forehead and carefully wiped the red, faint marks off. There hadn’t been much but Kaiji noticed the difference, the absence of red-coloured signs of violence on the youth’s fair skin.Kaiji could only imagine it: of course Akagi’s talent also brought trouble to him, against his will and intentions. ...had it been just one guy, or had there been more? Yakuza? Or...“You done?”Akagi opened his eyes again and reformed the eye contact with Kaiji who was very aware of the blush on his face. Despite that, he tried to smile but it came out as a bit crooked one.“Uh, yes, it’s gone now...”“...you can get off me already.”“...”Kaiji didn’t move.“...Kaiji-san... get off.”“Why do you hate the idea of other people helping you so much?”The words came out, almost on their own, but Kaiji meant it. Akagi’s eyebrows furrowed slightly.“Any attachments to other people... are bad, I don’t want any of it.”“Attachments?”“Feeling like I’m indebted to anyone.”“How does that have anything to do with me wanting to help you?” Kaiji asked, and it was the kind of tone that resembled a growl, and as a response, Akagi’s own voice was just as quiet and low, although calm as always.“Kaiji-san, we are living together - but we are still alone. You and me, separately, minding our own business - that’s what we agreed on, isn’t that right?”“I understand your point b-”“Separately,” Akagi repeated, now with more emphasis to that one, single word. “You shouldn’t care about me and what I do, and what happens to me.”“...so you wanted me to just ignore you and your wounds, and let you endure your pain in silence?” Akagi didn’t answer, that was the answer in itself. Something rough and painful squeezed around Kaiji’s heart, and he sighed weakly. “...don’t be stupid.” Akagi blinked. “Leave you alone like that? I can’t do that, are you kidding me...?”“It’s no big de-”Kaiji’s voice raised suddenly.“To me, it is!” He gritted his teeth together. “‘Attachments to other people are bad’, what the hell, don’t say that!”“Kai-”“I care about you, that’s how I feel, that’s why I help, because I want to -”Kaiji’s sincere words cut short: Akagi had slammed his other hand over Kaiji’s mouth, and now he glared at Kaiji - it was a warning gaze, one that said Kaiji was testing Akagi’s limits. Then, the white-haired man said quietly, calmly, making sure Kaiji could hear every syllable clearly,“I will be gone one day, and you won’t see me again.”Something in Kaiji’s eyes changed, and to Akagi’s surprise, the other man took hold of his wrist and gently pushed Akagi’s hand away from his face. Akagi’s eyes widened - Kaiji looked at him, and spoke softly.“You won’t be the first important person in my life to go when I least expect it.”Akagi had never seen him like that, even in his most emotional moments, because this man really could get overly emotional at times, as Akagi had witnessed a few times, enough times to expect it. But now, the man looked sad. Kaiji squeezed lightly on Akagi’s wrist, and he could feel his own pulse throbbing gently. Akagi’s expression softened, slowly, and his lips felt somewhat numb when he asked,“What good will it do to care about someone who can leave at any moment?”To that, Kaiji smiled, but even that was of a sad kind.“All good moments are... good. Even if they don't last for long.” Akagi's body jerked slightly: Kaiji’s thumb was stroking his wrist gently. “You came live here, and I’ve had a good time, and I am grateful to you for it.” The corners of Kaiji’s lips twitched a bit upwards. “So... let me make you feel good once in a while too, okay?”It was so much for Akagi to hear, too many positive things, so personal and heartfelt, unlike anything he had heard before. It could have been bad. Karma is real, karma doesn’t forget, so to Akagi, Kaiji’s sincere kindness could have been his way to misfortune.What a dumbass he was, Akagi had thought of himself countless of times....this was just another occasion to make another dumb decision.“...if you say so.”That was Akagi’s answer, he wasn’t sure if he meant it, even partially, but right then it sounded like the right thing to say - if for nothing else, then just to get Kaiji stop talking. This was one of those moments when Akagi knew it’d be better to surrender. And, indeed, it made Kaiji smile, in a wider, happier way, and he nodded.“You had a rough night, you should sleep for a while now.”Kaiji got up and went to Akagi’s mattress. Or he would had.“Kaiji-san.” The long-haired young man stopped. “You can sleep here too.”Kaiji turned.“You sure?”“Why would have I said it otherwise?”Kaiji asked no more.They had been living under the same roof for several weeks, and this was the second time they slept in the same bed. Kaiji remembered their first night together in vivid detail, and his chest felt hotter as he recalled the memories.Lying down next to each other, comfortably under the blankets, Akagi had his back towards Kaiji who quietly stared at the back of Akagi's head, completely awake.“You didn’t even tell me why you were attacked.”For a moment, Kaiji was sure the other wouldn’t even reply.“Same old. I won some money, they suspected foul play, and took their frustration on me. It happens.”“...is that the reason why you have that scar?”Akagi twitched slightly, and his other hand reached for his other shoulder.“It wasn’t that, really - that time, they simply couldn’t accept the fact that I was winning by pure luck.”“...Have there ever been people... who have tried to actually kill you because of some gamble?”Akagi paused, the pause prolonged, but Kaiji knew it wasn’t because he tried to remember: somehow, it was apparent to him that Akagi was revisiting some specific moment in his life because of the question. After a while, possibly a short eternity in Akagi’s mind, he came back to their present.“Yes.”“...Well, that’s one thing we have in common.”Kaiji heard the other man breathing heavily.“Maybe we could talk about that some other time.”Even if they wouldn’t, Kaiji appreciated Akagi’s kind words.“Yeah.”“...”“...tell me when you wake up.”“Mmh.”Kaiji closed his eyes.“...Thanks.”And he opened them again.One word. It was much more than Kaiji could have wanted or even expected. But hearing it felt good nonetheless.“No problem.”It made a difference having the other young man sleep next to him.The sun had already revealed itself outside but it was quiet, peaceful, and the warmth of an unusually warm morning reached the room though the blinds, and soon Kaiji had contently fallen asleep and breathed heavily beside his roommate. But Akagi had his eyes open. He stared at nothing in particular, and simply thought.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The asphalt was somewhat icy, and when Akagi stepped outside, he could feel his other foot slip on the ground just slightly. The chilly air hit his face gently and he looked around at the people walking past him, many of them already wearing thicker coats and scarves. The summer was over. Akagi adjusted the collar of his jacket, tried to cover more of his bare neck, and started walking. A stack of yen bills pressed against his chest in his jacket’s inner pocket.
'...so... what next?'
He didn’t feel like talking to or seeing people - he wanted some peace and quiet, yet his feet felt restless and craved for movement, after hours of sitting at gambling tables for most of that evening. So that’s what he did, just walked, not really looking what was happening around him, he wasn’t interested in the shops, the stalls in the streets,
or
people who clearly were out to party or drink - or both.Despite closing himself off from the rest of the environment, Akagi heard one particularly loud group nearby at the entrance of one hostess club. He could make out the words "party", "over here" and, several times repeated, "drinks", followed by a loud giggling of young women - hostesses, Akagi presumed. Avoiding going too near them, he walked further, searching for more quiet space.Like many times before, he didn't need more than just a short while to walk wherever his leisurely steps led him to. The wind blew gently, the busy streets were left behind him, Akagi watched how the light of the streetlamps and the shadows of his own figure interacted on the slightly frozen ground as he walked. Akagi inhaled deeply, the chilly air pinching the insides of his nose and throat lightly.Finally, silence. Finally, he was alone.Akagi wasn’t sure how long he had walked - how many minutes and how many metres - but suddenly he stopped. He recognised the walk path, the old low apartments: he was close to Kaiji’s home. He could go back right away, there was a shortcut he knew he could take, it couldn’t be more than a few minutes -He almost went to that direction but, instead, looked at a narrow alley nearby. Something had caught his eye. A car, he didn’t recognise it. But through the back window - dark, long, messy hair. That was anything but unfamiliar to him.The car’s engine wasn’t running, it almost looked like the vehicle had been left there if there hadn’t been two shady figures inside, sitting in the backseat.Akagi squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look.The two people seemed to be talking, and the familiar one of them waved their hand a little. Some louder noises came from inside the car, it almost sounded like yelling. Akagi didn’t know what was going on, and for a moment he thought he should be leaving. But then something weirder happened: the other, unknown person brought their hand up and - Akagi saw it very faintly - pushed the other man down on the backseat. More loud noises.A thought struck Akagi’s mind: something was terribly wrong.The feeling of danger, emergency, forced Akagi to run to the car, a hot wave running through his chest, he reached for the door of the unknown passenger’s side, and swiftly opened it, and without being able to see much inside the car, he grabbed on what he knew to be the person’s back, and with his full strength pulled them with him out of the car, throwing him to the ground. It all happened in less than a few seconds, and when it was over, Akagi heard a familiar voice from the car when the other passenger sat up and rushed out of the car.
“Akagi!”
He didn’t turn to Kaiji, his eyes were on the older man who was getting up while grunting loudly,“Tch... D-dammit, who do you think you are, getting into people’s cars like that, you punk?!”Akagi didn’t even blink but calmly responded,“Whatever it was that happened in there, I think it’s over.”“Wh- Why do you-”“I’m with this guy. You better leave now.”Kaiji, still hesitatingly standing behind the white-haired youth, swallowed.“A-Akagi...”“Get back into your car and leave.” The older man could hear from the boy’s voice that there was no way to make the situation better for himself. He spat on the ground one last time before he jogged into the car and wordlessly drove away, leaving the two behind. They watched the car disappear, and when it did, only then Akagi turned to Kaiji.The older of them
looked terrible: his hair was even messier than usual, his clothes in a slight but still noticeable disarray, as if he had gotten them back on only a minute ago, his face was red and sweaty yet he looked like most of his blood had drained off his face. Kaiji adjusted his jacket, his eyes almost afraid to return Akagi’s gaze, and the man mumbled,“Uhh - did - how did you get here?”“Just passed by,” Akagi said.“Umm, okay, so... you, you only just got here?”“Y-yeah?” Akagi didn’t know what the question really meant. Kaiji coughed,“Okay, well, a-anyway... It’s fine, either way... I was going home anyway...”“Me too,” Akagi said, observing the bright red colour on Kaiji’s face. The man continued to avoid his eyes.“S... so, let’s get moving...”The two did so in silence, Kaiji walking some distance ahead in front of Akagi who followed without saying a word, even though he was quite sure there was something more to be said. He was still pondering about it when they got to the apartment, and he took his shoes and jacket off while Kaiji had already disappeared to the tiny bathroom. Akagi walked lazily around the room, not only because he still didn’t feel like sitting down. He wondered if he could ask Kaiji, if it was too personal.Kaiji was free to do whatever he wanted, that much had been agreed on between the two of them. A thought came to Akagi’s mind: he was worried, seeing the incident happen in that stranger’s car had made something snap in Akagi’s head, he still remembered the strong, warm wave that had taken over him the instant he saw it. It had looked terrible, and to Akagi who had never experienced anything like it... it had looked scary.Had Kaiji been scared? Was he still shaken by it? ...Could Akagi ask that?From the bathroom came a stifled yet still audible groan.“Shit...!”Immediately, Akagi turned and went to the other man. Before he even stopped at the bathroom's door, he asked,“What’s wrong, Kaiji-san?”The other man had his other hand on his neck and was staring at the mirror above the sink, clearly shocked by what he saw. Akagi stepped in closer to him, and upon a closer look, under Kaiji’s fingers, saw a dark mark on his neck. His eyes widened.“What... is that...?”“Ugh... It's...” Kaiji turned the faucet on, drenched his other hand lightly and rubbed some water against the mark. “It’s nothing... Just that guy...”“That guy - did - that?”Kaiji groaned more, took a hand towel and pressed it against the moist spot.“It’s no use... It’s not going to fade away any time soon...”Akagi looked as the other guy shook his head in defeat. He tried to think of something to say. Kaiji finally talked.“It’s a hickey...”Akagi blinked.“Ah.”“I should have been more careful,” Kaiji mumbled, then took the towel from his neck and hung it back to its hook. He turned, and now Akagi saw it clearly: by now, the mark on Kaiji’s neck looked like a severe bruise, purple shade spreading over it. It didn’t look good, especially on Kaiji’s lightly tanned skin. Without noticing Akagi’s stare, Kaiji sighed. “Whatever, it will go away eventually...” He walked past Akagi who followed him with his eyes as the older man reached the fridge, took a water bottle out, and went to sit on the floor while leaning his back against the bed. Akagi watched him quietly take a gulp from the bottle.He thought.If he hadn’t been there to witness the incident - if no one had been there - what would have happened to Kaiji?A very disgusting mental image appeared in Akagi’s mind, and he felt that hot wave brush over his chest again.With careful steps, Akagi walked towards the bed as well, and slowly sat down next to Kaiji, leaving some distance between them. Kaiji didn’t look at him, Akagi only saw his profile obscured by his messy fringe, and the hickey right above his T-shirt’s collar.“Are you okay?”Akagi felt like a fool for asking that but he had to start talking first, start from somewhere. First, to him, it looked like the other hadn’t even heard him. But then Kaiji replied,“I’m fine. It didn’t hurt. It was just so sudden, it kind of... confused me.”“That’s... good?” Akagi wasn’t sure if he should say it like that.“A-anyway...” Kaiji’s voice stuttered just a little, and he said, “thank you so much for helping me.”“M-me?”
Hearing that came as a surprise to Akagi.
“Why are you thanking me?”“You dummy,” Kaiji showed a smile, it was a very small one but a smile nonetheless. “I didn’t know you’d appear like that. You were, like, the last thing I expected to see there.”“Uhh...” Akagi was completely speechless - which rarely happened.“So... yeah, thanks for helping me get out of there.”“I didn’t plan it,” Akagi said, his tone sharp, “I saw you, then I got a feeling something wasn’t right, and that’s all I could do.”“It was brave,” Kaiji said softly. That time, he turned just a bit to look into Akagi’s eyes. “Thank you. I don’t know how it would’ve ended if you hadn’t been there.”Even more rare than Akagi being lost for words: anyone thanking him. His eyes widened a little.“You... are welcome.” Kaiji smiled and nodded, then drank more water, and while he was doing it, Akagi’s eyes trailed back down to the purple-ish mark. “Does that hurt?”Kaiji swallowed quickly and answered,“This? It kind of tingles now, it looks worse than it feels.”“It looks terrible,” Akagi said, and to that, Kaiji chuckled.“I know, right? I'm not a huge fan... not if they are from strangers anyway. It’d be different if this was from someone I liked.”Akagi didn’t understand.“How is it different?”“It just... is. If it was from someone special, I wouldn’t feel like I have to hide it...” Kaiji tugged the collar a bit, as a lazy attempt to cover the mark. “If I wanted other people to see it, it should be from a person I like.”“I... see...” Akagi breathed out deeply. He let his gaze wander around the room: at the bed behind their backs, the dusty TV, the kitchen sink, the fridge, Akagi’s own makeshift bed, and the trusty low table where they had sat down together the first time Akagi had first come into the apartment. Just the two of them, Akagi and Kaiji, together. Two together... One new question. “Do you want a... romantic... relationship?”It was difficult for Akagi to say those two words, they felt foreign in his mouth - and, to Kaiji, hearing those words from him was obviously weird as well: Akagi noticed a light blush on his cheeks.“Um...” Kaiji coughed a little. “Uhh, well... it’s nice to think about. But, I don’t know... it should be someone... who understands me... and whom I can trust.” He sighed. “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or the day after that, or what I will be doing in one year. My current situation is so unstable, I need time to... figure out stuff on my own.” Akagi, too, cleared his throat quietly: it was his way of showing he was still listening, even though he had no idea how to reply to any of Kaiji’s words. Kaiji continued, “So yeah... Right now, I’m just... going to do... whatever I’m doing.”Suddenly, Akagi remembered those hostesses he had seen earlier. Those young women, working for money, playing and laughing with men they didn’t know - all for cash. But was it possible for even one of those girls to develop deeper feelings for one of their customers? Could that happen? ...and could Kaiji been the same? While the other man was utilising that one way to earn cash, was there also hidden hopes for something more meaningful and long-lasting?Akagi felt his throat getting drier.“Kaiji-san.”Akagi was now facing away from his roommate who startled a little at the quiet call of his own name.“Y-yeah?”“If... if you ever... if you ever find... someone...” Akagi inhaled quietly. “Tell me. As soon as possible.”“Uh - huh? If I find...?”“Someone you like.” Another pause. “Tell me. The sooner, the better.”Akagi felt it: Kaiji’s stare. And his short nod.“Okay...”Again, mutual silence fell between the two: the conversation was over.Hours passed by, the darkness fell over the city, the night arrived, a later night still, yet Akagi couldn't sleep. Talking about feelings he couldn't understand had left him exhausted and perplexed, and now he found himself lying on his other side on his makeshift bed at the opposite corner from Kaiji's bed. The other man was quiet too, no snoring had happened just yet, only his peaceful breathing. The day must have been pretty hard for him too, especially after that unfortunate incident.The memory made something squeeze around Akagi's chest - the same emotion of terrified anger."..."What Kaiji did and with whom was none of Akagi's business, that much was certain and he agreed on. Kaiji was an adult man, older than Akagi, he had the strength and responsibility to take care of himself. But, Akagi thought, Kaiji didn't deserve to face such unpleasant moments. That had been too much. Akagi knew Kaiji's character enough, how kind and soft he was by nature. Under that scarred face that seemed so determined and strong, Kaiji was the kindest person Akagi had ever met. Sure, at times too emotional, and definitely self-destructive - that's what a typical gambling-addict is - but still kind. And Akagi was well aware that Kaiji had gone through a lot, even though he hadn't heard even half of what had occured in the long-haired young man's past. Akagi had only seen the surface: the scar on his cheek, the fingers and the ear stitched back after being cut off, and that '21' brand on his arm.It had been over one month since they met, yet Akagi didn't know much about Kaiji's past as a gambler - but, after that evening's events, he knew more about him as a romantic person.How weird.He didn't hate it - he just didn't quite understand it.All he knew was that he wanted Kaiji to have it easier, just for a moment - because he deserved it.Kaiji's breathing was quiet and even, a sign of peaceful dreams that was probably only moments away from heavier sleep. He was lying on his back, his face slightly tilted to other side, his mouth open and eyes closed. The young man remained in his blissfully peaceful state until he felt some weight pressing down the other side of his bed, right beside him. He uttered out a quiet noise before his tired eyes opened carefully, and his gaze focused on the other young man sitting next to him."...Akagi?" His voice was slightly hoarse from the interrupted sleep but it held no specific emotion."Ah," the younger of the two breathed, "I woke you up...""I don't mind," Kaiji said, and even though it was difficult to see in the darkness, Akagi heard from his voice that he was smiling a little. "What's up?""..." Kaiji waited patiently, still smiling, his eyes looking at what he knew was the outline of Akagi's head. "I... I'm sorry... but I kind of... I am not entirely sure..."To his surprise, Akagi heard Kaiji chuckle."You really are a sweet guy."Even greater surprise."Huh?""You don't even know how sweet of a guy you can be, Akagi Shigeru."What an emotional man. What a strikingly exact opposite of what Akagi was as a person.Akagi placed his other hand next to the other man, and leaned his upper body closer to Kaiji's. He heard Kaiji's soft gasp - the tip of his nose brushed against Kaiji's neck, a few strands of dark hair tickling his cheek. Kaiji said nothing but the sudden tension in his body was evident, and even Akagi himself felt that same tension in himself. His lips glided against Kaiji's neck and moved over the hickey, forcing another soft gasp from Kaiji's mouth. Akagi's warm breath blew against Kaiji's neck, and he murmured quietly,"I'll make this mine."Those words were barely above a whisper but Kaiji heard them, and that made him swallow weakly. He brought his other hand from his chest to Akagi's shoulder and lightly pushed it downwards, pressing Akagi's upper body against his own: it was his permission for Akagi to do whatever he had on his mind.Akagi's lips parted, pressed onto the dark mark on Kaiji's neck, and gave it a light suck. Again, Kaiji gasped, this time louder, sharper, and closed his eyes as Akagi’s tongue gently licked the hickey.“Nnh...” Kaiji couldn’t stifle his moan, he felt Akagi’s tongue make slow circles around the hickey, and Akagi sucked, now harder, his teeth gently pressing onto Kaiji’s neck, his tongue licking carefully, tiny sounds escaping from his lips. Kaiji breathed in, and his hand grabbed onto Akagi's shoulder. “A-... Aka...gi...”The white-haired young man’s lips tore away from Kaiji’s neck.“Kaiji-san?”“Hn... I just... That feels good,” Kaiji said, his voice weak and trembling ever so slightly. He didn’t see Akagi’s face, only some of his white fluffy hair - he wondered how Akagi looked right then. He heard the young man’s quiet words,“It does?”Kaiji chuckled at that softly.“Yeah, it’s good.”“...I’m glad.”Kaiji’s lips, their corners already curved, widened into a smile, he gave out a short, quiet laugh again and, without really thinking about it, brought his hand from the young man’s shoulder to the back of his head, and gently slid his fingers through Akagi's hair - as soft as it looked fluffy - making the other young man grunt quietly at the touch,“This is the first time I'm doing this..."Kaiji swallowed thickly, and with genuine warmth in his voice, he whispered,"I feel special to be your first..."Akagi said nothing. 'First', yes, the very first - the first he had given a hickey to, the first he had ever thought of giving a hickey to. The first and only. There were no words to describe how special Kaiji had become to Akagi.Yet, Akagi knew, he couldn't be the person Kaiji had talked about earlier - the person he would like.Akagi's mouth covered the hickey again, his tongue licked the skin, over and over, he sucked, harder, licked some more, and Kaiji moaned, gasped, his body twitching as Akagi's soft lips and wet tongue caressed the sensitive spot."Nnh-! Ahh- Aka- Akagi...! Aka- gi... hiih...!"He stopped, backed away to catch his breath, and sighed weakly."I'm sorry, was that...""Haah... It... was good," Kaiji said again. "You really are good..." Akagi couldn't think of any words to reply with as he slowly sat up, as much unable to look straight into Kaiji's eyes, feeling a hot fume across his cheeks. Kaiji, too, pushed his blanket off him and sat up to look at Akagi's dimly lit sitting profile. "I feel special... and privileged.""No need," Akagi blurted sharply, and again, Kaiji laughed."I thought you'd say that... anyway... uhh..." Kaiji hesitated a bit but continued,
"You... want something back?""Hmm?" Akagi shifted his eyes to Kaiji's direction. "Something back?""You know..." Kaiji sounded embarrassed but also, in a weird way, a bit playful. "For doing that... I liked it a lot.""Huh?""Like, suck you off...""...Suck...?""You know..." A pause. "A blowjob."The last remaining bit of drowsiness left Akagi's body at once - Kaiji yelped in surprise as Akagi instantly jumped off the bed back on his feet, standing a bit further from the bed and - Kaiji could barely see it - glared back at him. Nervous and embarrassed, Kaiji stuttered,"Ah - Oh, s-sorry, that was - sudden... I'm sorry for-""No need to," Akagi repeated and turned around, "You have no reason to do that.""'No reason' - But, you know, you were so good..." Kaiji got off the bed and cautiously stepped closer to Akagi. "I don't know why you did that to me but... I liked it... so, as compensation..."Akagi was reminded of that loanshark, Endou's words. 'Kaiji-kun might want to compensate for it...'
Back then, they had been talking about Kaiji's financial problems but Akagi saw the connection: Kaiji wanted to repay for something Akagi had willingly given to him. Akagi listened to Kaiji's words, and then, he felt a hand touching his own. Akagi turned to the other man who was now much closer, and he saw Kaiji's eyes: staring at his own, wide, dark in colour, a hint of longing in them. Something bitter rose up into Akagi's throat and he moved his hand away from Kaiji's as his gaze shifted off from Kaiji's eyes."I didn't do that because I wanted something from you." Akagi's voice was back to its usual stern tone, yet it did tremble just enough for Kaiji to hear it. "I just... felt like doing it. Don't try to ask for any more specific explanation than that."Silence, the clock on the wall ticking, darkness in the room, and tension between the two.Akagi didn't know what would happen next.Then, Kaiji spoke."That's fine. I'm still grateful for this." Akagi saw from the corner of his eye how Kaiji lifted his other hand to touch his neck. "It's yours now, and I feel better knowing that. Thanks, Akagi."The white-haired youth finally regained the strength to look at Kaiji.Kaiji was smiling in the widest way he ever did, in the way that showed nothing but genuine happiness and gratitude.Again, Akagi was speechless - again, Kaiji had thanked him. His eyes widened. Kaiji chuckled."So... yeah. Um... I'm going back to sleep.""...""Good night."Akagi watched Kaiji return back to his bed, roll inside the blanket like it was a comfy cocoon. Blissful, deep breathing, his head resting on one flat pillow, dark hair partly inside the blanket, some strands of hair spread on the pillow. Peacefully back to sleep.Akagi still felt hot on his cheeks, and only then he noticed the strong sensation of his heart throbbing in his chest.He moved back to his mattress, his eyes fixed on his roommate, and as he lay down, still staring at the bed, he quietly replied,"Good night, Kaiji-san."Maybe now he understood the concept of 'liking someone' better.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The washing machine in Kaiji's house was old, tiny, and made an outrageously loud noise whenever in use - but mostly he only needed it to wash his underwear, so even with its small tub, it fulfilled its purpose. And, to be honest, Kaiji couldn't be picky about it.He didn’t really pay much attention to the machine until Akagi came around: as both of their dirty clothes started piling up, the tub of the washing machine got full more often - and one day, Kaiji came to the realisation that there was two full loads of laundry to be done. That could only mean one thing: laundry day!After checking the top and beneath of his bed and around Akagi's mattress, he gathered all the dirty (and the kind that could have been labeled as "not sure if clean enough or not") clothes to the bathroom, where he hardly had enough space to stand between the washing machine and the sink."Ghh... Should have noticed this sooner... And where can I hang all of these to dry...?" Kaiji muttered to himself as he loaded the tub with a mixture of his and Akagi's clothes. Boxer briefs after another, one of Kaiji's jeans, a black T-shirt that could have been either his or Akagi's, there was no way to tell -And a light purple, short-sleeved blouse.Kaiji lifted it by its shoulders and inspected it. This was definitely Akagi's, Kaiji remembered him wearing it, and while the style of it was what Kaiji himself would wear, the colour was... a weird choice in his opinion.
'Totally not my style.'
Definitely not his style. But Akagi was out, had already been for a while, Kaiji was alone with the laundry and this purple shirt. And the mirror above the sink was right behind him too...He
had to.He put the blouse on, on top of his T-shirt, and turned to look at what he saw of himself. Akagi's build was very close to Kaiji's, the shirt fit him - but as he had expected, it didn’t suit him. Kaiji straightened the collars and turned his shoulders from side to another. 'It’s not bad, it just doesn’t look quite right... Is it true that only a certain kind of people can wear certain kinds of colours and patterns without making them look weird? Somehow I’m convinced about it now...'In the middle of his thoughts, he heard a key being turned in the front door's lock, and the door opened. He tried to decide if he should go greet his roommate, stuff the rest of the laundry into the washing machine after dawdling already way too long, or get Akagi's blouse off of him before the youth would notice him wearing it - but before he could act on any of those options at all, the bathroom's door opened as well and Akagi peeked in."Kaiji-san, hel-"Instant silence. Two young men staring at each other.Kaiji smirked, or tried to, but his face was way too stiff for one."H-he-hello. Uh… laundry." 'Is he gonna ask?'"I can see that, thanks. You already done loading?""No, I’m going to do two loads today..." 'Not asking?'"Alright, because..." Akagi opened the door more and stepped into the bathroom, and only then Kaiji noticed the green-hued, plaid shirt Akagi was wearing: Kaiji's own. Akagi pointed at it. "I think this could go in too."Kaiji couldn't help but keep staring at Akagi's choice of clothing."That's mine.""Hm?" Akagi looked down at his own chest. "It is." And he looked back at the other man. "I didn’t really pay attention to what I put on this morning, I guess... Is it bad?"Slowly, Kaiji shook his head."It looks good on you.""This shirt?""The green colour... and the pattern..."Akagi blinked. "...huh. Thanks. And thanks for letting me borrow it." The white-haired youngster stripped the shirt off and handed it to Kaiji. "That’s an old one." It was Kaiji’s turn to blink, in confusion. "That shirt you’re wearing.""Oh! Uh, I just... wanted to try it on, that’s all."Akagi took another look at him for a second, then hummed, "It looks weird on you."'I knew it.' Kaiji grinned, sheepishly."Or... No, rather, it looks weird seeing anyone else wearing my clothes..."
'Oh?'
"Good coincidence we are about the same size.""Yeah," Kaiji smiled. "Feel free to borrow mine anytime."Akagi nodded and headed out of the bathroom, disappearing from Kaiji's view, yet the image of him wearing Kaiji's green shirt was imprinted into the man's mind. The shirt had, indeed, looked good on Akagi. And, somehow, on some level, kind of... sexy.Warm blush spread over Kaiji’s cheeks.'I don’t mind him borrowing my clothes...' His other hand fiddled with the hem of the purple shirt that was still on him. 'But seeing him like that, wearing something that is mine...' He stifled a frustrated groan. 'This isn’t getting any easier for me.' At long last, way later than it was supposed to take, the purple shirt got thrown in with the rest of the laundry, and Kaiji could finally focus on what he had been doing initially.While the first load was getting washed, Kaiji pondered out loud how to handle their drying. To his surprise, Akagi told him to wait a bit before going back outside. Kaiji had done just that, waited, and before long, the young man had returned with one simple buying from the nearest store: a ball of thick yarn. Soon, the two were busy tying yarn from Kaiji's bed to the kitchen drawer to the book shelf, all over across the room, and after one hour or so, with all the laundry finished, the clothes were neatly hung on the makeshift clotheslines, and the two young men sat at the table having a cup of tea, looking up and around at the drying clothes. Kaiji chuckled. "You sure are handy, I’ve never done this..."Akagi didn’t reply to the compliment. Kaiji smiled."...looks like a weird art installation."To that, Akagi let out a soft laugh. Kaiji's smile widened even more.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Akagi's peaceful sleep was interrupted by Kaiji, even though it certainly hadn't been the older man's plan at all.It was one of those nights when, instead of going for another gambling adventure that lasted all night until the earliest hours of dawn, Akagi was staying at Kaiji's apartment and sleeping, just like most of other people did, just like Kaiji did. He had been in a deep sleep when his sensitive, always alert ears had picked up a muffled, unidentifiable sound. The oddity of it had been enough to force Akagi's eyelids to open, and his mind and ears to concentrate on the sound.Akagi blinked sleepily.The sound came from inside the apartment. He listened more.Irregular, shallow breathing - which was not his.
'Kaiji-san?'
Akagi didn’t dare move or say anything out loud but continued listening to the sounds. Kaiji breathing weirdly. His bed shaking just slightly, enough for Akagi to hear it. A pattern of rustling under the cover.It took Akagi a moment, then the realisation hit him.He swallowed.Of course, Kaiji would want to be discreet about it, and not wake Akagi up - definitely not on purpose at least. But he had good ears. And now Akagi could do nothing but stare at the wall he was facing, feeling hot on his cheeks as he heard his roommate masturbating.He had never in his life heard noises like that.Kaiji's voice was quiet but Akagi did hear his weak moans, sharp groans... Then, for one single word, Kaiji's voice got just a tiny bit louder, and he let out a high-pitched, stifled gasp -Akagi's eyes widened.And then, nothing.Perfect silence returned into the dark apartment just as suddenly as Akagi had woken up from his sleep. And while the younger man was still wide awake, Kaiji was snoring peacefully, blissfully unaware of his roommate accidentally eavesdropping on his sounds of pleasure.Kaiji was a sexual person, of that Akagi had been aware long enough, so the fact that Kaiji had desires to please himself wasn’t surprising to him.What really had woken Akagi up was hearing Kaiji's weak, hoarse voice moaning something that sounded like Akagi’s name.The wind howled outside, and the young man pondered if he should go outside to cool down.Akagi still felt hot.