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Sakura knows her parents don’t love her. At least, not the way parents are supposed to. If Kizashi and Mebuki love their daughter at all, it’s as a trophy. They smile and love her in front of other respectable civilian families, but at home, all that disappears. If Sakura is lucky, they’ll be indifferent. She knows it’s not normal to be relieved when her parents ignore her, but it’s better than the alternative. Kizashi is the eldest son of the Haruno Konoha branch. The Haruno clan is a well-established merchant clan in every country, even Land of Stone. As such, civilians of the family are allowed access to each hidden village with relative ease. Every other month, Kizashi leaves to meet with the other branch heads for two weeks. These two weeks are hell for Sakura. Mebuki doesn’t hit her, because that would be unbecoming of a lady, but abuse takes many forms. Sakura’s worse fear is the cold disappointment that graces her mother’s face almost every time she looks at her daughter. Because Sakura knows she isn’t good enough. Her forehead is too big and her hair is unnatural and she stutters when talking to strangers and prefers reading to building connections. Sakura is everything a good daughter shouldn’t be. When Kizashi is home, things aren’t better. But anger is more manageable. Anger is something Sakura can understand. There’s anger simmering beneath her skin, a dull roar she learns to ignore. When it reaches a boiling point, Inner takes over.Inner has been around her entire life. A voice in the back of her head, supporting her and compartmentalizing all her emotions. She’s Sakura but not. When Sakura stands in front of her bathroom mirror and counts her new bruises, Inner screams about getting revenge. Sakura wishes she could, but she’s too weak.
There are two reasons Sakura joins the Academy. The first is she’s tired of being weak. She’s tired of Inner screaming at her to fight back, she’s tired of the rage twisting beneath her skin. She’s just tired. The second reason is genin are considered adults. Which means she can move out. She gets all the required paperwork and fills it out in her best handwriting. She forges her father’s signature with a flourish. Sakura knows her parents are going to find out eventually, but it’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. (She doesn’t regret it, even if she has to wear long sleeves and pants on the first day of class rather than a nice dress.)It’s mostly theory learning at the beginning, to Sakura’s relief. There’s a lot of clan children in her year, and she’s under no delusion that she could even match them in practical application, but theory and books and learning is something she excels at. Sakura promises herself she’ll always be at the top of the class when it comes to academics. She’ll graduate, become a chunin after a few years, and live out her life as a paper ninja.
Sakura hates bullies. She knows all her faults, thanks, she doesn’t need other people to point them out. Her mother already does that, and schoolyard bullies have nothing on her. Their words still hurt, but it’s small hurt. Like a paper cut, compared to the gaping wounds she’s given at home.
Sakura needs a plan. Just because she can move out once she becomes a genin doesn’t mean she’ll be able to support herself. In all honesty, she’d be willing to sleep under bushes if she has to, but that’s the worse case scenario. She needs money. Not only for when she graduates, but for school and ninja supplies. When her parents have dinner parties she’s not allowed to attend.“You’re filthy,” her mother would say, gesturing at the dirt caked into Sakura’s palms and her cracked nail beds and split ends. Instead, she goes to the library. There’s a section for Academy students filled with mostly theory. But theory is something Sakura excels at. So she reads. And she learns. Chakra. Henge. Bushin.She begins to plan.
All the books she’s read say she shouldn’t attempt chakra exercises unsupervised, at least while she’s so young and her coils so delicate. But Sakura has been doing a lot of things she shouldn’t. She’s read about chakra exhaustion, she knows the warning signs. She’s an expert on how far she can push, whether it be her father’s temper or her limitations.
She starts simple. Meditation, searching for her chakra. After what could be seconds or hours, she feels something. A steady thrumming at the center of herself. It’s comforting in a way she didn’t think it would be. She concentrates on spreading that feeling through her body. It stretches, thin due to her small reserves, but she can feel it from her head to her toes.Once she’s confident she can keep chakra circulating through her body without giving it her absolute concentration, she opens her eyes. The world is sharp and defined, like she’s been walking around half blind her entire life. She can see each individual leaf, see the grain of the trees. Each living thing around her sends out a steady pulse of chakra, even when she closes her eyes she knows where everything is. This is what power feels like, Inner croons.
Sakra is many things, but arrogant is not one of them. She knows being a civilian born ninja means she has much smaller chakra reserves than clan children, or even the children of first-generation ninjas. She knows she’ll never amount to an amazing ninja but making it to chunin and living out her life as a paper ninja is something she can achieve, with hard work. She knows nearly depleting her coils, pushing them to just before empty, will help them grow. She wants her reserves to be at least double their current size before she attempts any jitsu, even something as simple as a henge. She wakes up early each morning, two hours before classes start. She makes herself a small breakfast, being as quiet as possible. She packs a simple lunch and double checks she has everything she needs in her bookbag. Then she heads off to a training ground.It’s not an official training ground, just a small clearing in the forest, but it’s enough for her. She meditates for about half an hour, then practices sticking leaves to her fingertips. She can handle two, but only for a short while. Once the strain on her chakra becomes nearly unbearable, she runs laps. She read that a healthy body also helps chakra coils grow.The clearing is nearly too small for laps and as her body gets used to the exercise she takes to running through the forest. Weaving through trunks and dodging vegetation helps her reflexes. Once her reserves improve maybe she’ll try running with her eyes closed. She can sense the chakra of the plants, but she imagines it’d be helpful to be able to distinguish individual signatures from each other. Half an hour before classes start, she stops. She’s sure it’s not against the rules to practice in her free time, but she’d rather be safe than sorry.
Classes are dull. She’s learned all of the material from the library, but it wouldn’t do to be considered a bad student. So Sakura sits in front, folds her hands in her lap and stares attentively at the sensei, occasionally jotting down notes. In her head, she discussing with Inner what the next step should be. She’s not ready to try henge, but it never hurts to be prepared. Sometimes, she surreptitiously observes her classmates. It’s hard because she’s at the front, but she has practice going unnoticed. When someone does catch her staring, she carefully and steadily slides her gaze away, as if she was looking around the room rather than at a specific person. In her head, she makes a list of what she knows about each student.There are several other civilian born in her class. They’re the ones to dress primly and have soft hands. They all take furious notes, trying to catch up in knowledge to their ninja born classmates.She takes special notice of all the clan children. Shino Aburame is quiet, hiding his face behind his collar and sunglasses. He keeps to himself due to most people being grossed out by his clan’s insects. Sometimes, she feels like he’s watching her. Evaluating. She can’t be mad, considering she’s doing the same thing.Shikamaru Nara sleeps most of class. Or at least he seems to. Sakura can’t tell if he’s faking or not. Whenever the teacher calls on him he knows all the answers to the questions. He’s the one who most often catches her staring. During that brief moment of eye contact, his gaze is sharp and searching. Ino Yamanaka is the queen bee of the class. She’s friendly and seems to know everyone. She has a temper to match Sakura’s but unlike Sakura, Ino doesn’t try to hide it. She’s open, appearing to wear her heart on her sleeve. But Sakura’s read about the Yamanaka, what little is allowed in the library. From a clan that specializes in interrogation, Sakura doesn’t doubt that Ino is more than she appears. Chouji Akimichi always has a snack with him. He seemed a gentle soul and shied away from confrontation, but fiercely defended his friends, Shikamaru and Ino. As Sakura understood it, the Nara, Yamanaka, and Akimichi clans were close and were usually placed on a team together. They were practically raised together and were more like family than teammates. Hinata Hyuga is quiet, quieter even than Shino. When Shino speaks, it’s clear and precise. Hinata trips and stutters over her words and her eyes skirt around while her fingers clench nervously. Sakura can sympathize, afterall she can’t even imagine the pressure a clan heir would be under, but a small part of her looks down on Hinata for showing such obvious weakness. Kiba Inuzuka and his partner Akamaru were wild. Sakura gathered that most Inuzuka’s were. She supposed they had to be, to keep up with their partners. Kiba was loud and one of the worst troublemakers in the class. But his instincts, coupled with Akamaru’s, were spot on. The few spars they had, he usually won fighting tooth and nail. He reminded her of one of the street cats she finds in alleyways. Something feral in soft skin.Sasuke Uchiha is a contradiction. When they first started the Academy, he was bright. He smiled and talked about anaki. Then he was gone for weeks. Sakura heard whispers of a massacre, of Sasuke’s older brother killing the clan. She saw it in the tension in Iruka-sensei’s shoulders, and how all the shinobi she passed stood alert, eyes darting. When Sasuke came back, he was hollow, silent. She saw anger and grief in him, fueling each other, until his eyes seemed to burn. Sakura likes to stay away from Sasuke. Naruto Uzumaki’s an orphan but Sakura read the about the Uzumaki, the founding clan of Uzushio, sister village to Konoha. Sakura supposes that some survivors fled to Konoha once their home fell and Naruto is the child of one of them. He must be half Uzumaki, considering he has blond hair rather than the signature red. Naruto is loud and grins just wide enough for it to be fake. Sakura knows the civilians whisper about him, monster, demon, which she doesn’t understand. He’s annoying and a prankster, but he’s still a kid. Still sometimes gets this faraway look in his eyes and his smile drops when he thinks no one’s looking. So Sakura wouldn’t say they’re friends, but she’s nice to him when they talk.
When the girls take kunoichi classes, they’re told their body can be their greatest weapon. That infiltration and seduction will be their greatest strengths. The other girls giggle to each other, whisper behind hands, but something in Sakura roars. She knows she’s not pretty, not in the ways that matter. She can arrange flowers to spell out secret messages and keep a polite smile on her face but--Her mother is everything a woman should be and Sakura refuses to be anything like her.
Sakura knows her dress in impractical. It’s bright red, and her hair attracts enough attention already, and the material rips easily. But she doesn’t have money to buy new outfits and she knows her parents won’t get her anything that suggests she’s not a perfect civilian girl. She needs a job.
In her clearing, Sakura goes over her notes one last time. She’ll try henging into one of her classmates first, Ino. Same gender, same age, just a few inches taller. Sakura concentrates on the color and length of Ino’s hair, the way it swishes as she walked, her large pupilless eyes, the color of them in each light. The curve of her brow, the baby fat still present in her cheeks. The slope of her shoulders, the bulk of her calfs. Sakura makes the hand sign and whispers, “Henge.”Her chakra pools, Sakura concentrates on the flow, pulling and pushing it where she needs it to go. She can feel her body morph and cuts off her chakra once it’s done changing. She rushes to a nearby creek and stares at her reflection. It’s not perfect, her hair is more strawberry blond than Ino’s hair and she thinks she’s just a bit too short, but it’s just her first try.She can practice.
Once Sakura can henge into Ino reliably, she goes to a park with a book. She sits on a bench and pretends to read, when really, she’s observing the women. Which makes her feels weird and perverted, but it’s necessary. She can’t henge exactly into one of these women, but she can see common traits. She wants to become someone average, unnoticeable. She spends hours peering at the women’s mannerisms over the pages of her book. Passive and maternal, stern in a gentle way. Brown hair, just below average height, dark eyes. Her skin needs to be plump and soft, free of calluses. Free of anything that suggests she more than just another civilian. Sakura practices, while Inner repeats a mantra of what they want to become. She directs her chakra and feels herself morph. She’s grown a little over a foot, her hair is now a dull brown, and her hands are free of calluses. After a few tweaks, the reflection that blinks back at her is a young woman in her early twenties, with brown eyes and soft cheeks and long lashes. Sakura releases the henge, keeping the image in her mind, then tries it again. And again. And again, until she produces the same results each time. She stops once she feels an uncomfortable strain on her chakra.We need a name, Sakura thinks.We need a story, Inner says. They get to work.
Sakura sneaks into the house when the moon was high in the sky. Her father is on a business trip so hopefully, her mother had gone to sleep by now. She opens the front doors quietly, sending a silent prayer to the kami. Her mother’s sitting at the kitchen, a wine glass in her hand. “Sakura,” she says. Her words aren’t slurred, but they’re slow, a sign that if Mebuki had less control over herself she’d be hiccuping. “Come here.”Sakura swallows thickly.Do what she wants, Inner urges her. She walks to her mother, something heavy settled in her gut. Mebuki surveys her daughter, grabbing her chin. Sakura suppressed a wince at her mother’s sharp nails. “Hmm,” Mebuki says as she turns her daughter’s head from side to side, taking in the dried sweat and matted hair. “Pathetic. To think I wasted time on you.” She finished her glass and drops it at Sakura’s feet. It shatters, shards scattering. Some cut Sakura’s unprotected shins. It hurts, in a distant way. Mebuki leaves her daughter in the kitchen, surrounded by glass.This hurts more.
Sakura wakes the next morning slow and sluggish. The skin around her cuts pull uncomfortably, threatening to rip the forming scabs. She sighs. She’ll need to wear long pants today. Luckily, she has a pair of plain black leggings she can wear underneath her dress rather than her usual shorts. She puts bandages on her worst cuts before pulling the leggings on. She does a few test stretches, wincing at the sting. Sparring is going to be a bitch, Inner says. But we’re going to have to learn to work through pain. Sakura gets ready for the day, carefully cleaning up the broken glass on the kitchen floor. She shoulders her book bag and heads to her clearing. She settles in a lotus position and thinks. She needs a job. With her henge, the only problem she’ll have is getting hired without proper papers. So, she’ll either have to work somewhere shady or desperate enough to not be bothered with paying her under the table, or she finds a way to fake her papers. If she lived anywhere but a hidden village, it wouldn’t be a problem. But even the civilians are careful and require papers as a precaution to prevent spies. Not all of them, Inner says, sly and determined. Sakura feels a grin spread across her face.No, she agrees. Not all of them. We can use that.
Miyuki took a deep breath, in, hold, out, before entering the small, cramped cafe. She had spent a few afternoons observing it, henged as various civilian children and using the small amount of money she had saved up from her allowance to buy snacks. It’s a risk, but a calculated one. One she thinks, hopes, she can afford to take.
“Welcome!” says the employee behind the counter. “What can I do for you today?”Miyuki smiles, her mother’s smile when greeting her husband home, detached and polite. “Hello, I saw that you were hiring, and it just so happens I’m looking for a job.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sakura sighs, dropping her henge and rubbing her temples. Maintain a henge for that long, especially considering Miyuki was a full grown woman and Sakura was barely ten, was draining and left her teetering closer to chakra exhaustion than she would like.She’s been so focused on perfecting her henge she’s allowed herself to slack on other aspects of her training. She needs to push herself harder, do more, do better.Sakura refuses to be weak.
In class, they’re finally moving on from theory to practical application. Sakura’s read that in wartime, things are more rushed, hurried along to prepare soldiers. But Konoha hasn’t been at war for over a decade. Students are taught at a slower pace and no one’s allowed to graduate early anymore.Sakura suspects it’s another way to put civilian born students at a disadvantage, teaching practical skills later. Skills that the clan children have been learning their entire life. Civilian borns became genin but can’t advance past that, becoming part of the genin corps, and amount to nothing more than cannon fodder. Meanwhile, the clan children, taught at home, are nearly guaranteed to become jounin.Sakura knows Konoha shinobi are a military force, knows it’s necessary, but the knowledge settles bitter on her tongue.“Henge,” Iruka-sensei explains, “is using chakra to take and transform your appearance into that of another.”He summarizes the theory they’ve learned and then they pair off. Sakura gets paired with Naruto, as there are more boys than girls.“Sakura-chan,” Naruto says, sheepishly, “I’m not sure I understand this, you can go first.”Sakura frowns because they’ve been going over the theory for weeks now, in between taijutsu and weapon training, even Naruto should have a basic grasp of the technique. Then, she remembers, when Iruka-sensei isn’t teaching, Naruto gets sent outside for a punishment during class. The unfairness of it all bubbles in her throat. They’re just kids, not shinobi yet but--We will be, Inner reminds her. Someday, we will be and we’re going to be cheaters and liars and killers. Unfairness is part of the job.“Well,” Sakura says, mind whirling, “I’ll just have to teach you.”
Teaching Naruto is an experience. He’s not stupid, can’t be with how he manages to pull parks on even the elite shinobi, but he learns differently than she does. Sakura can read and understand. She breaks everything into steps, small goals, before she attempts anything new and she works on it until perfection.Naruto doesn’t work like that.Not only does he not have the attention span for reading and rereading the same scrolls over and over again, he has trouble reading. Because no one ever taught him. That thought sends another wave of rage through her that Inner funnels into determination.Henge first, she reminds herself. Then we can move on.Naruto needs to learn hands-on, he can’t understand something fully, no matter how she explains it, until he’s jumping in feet first.Sakura’s envious, a little, because Naruto has the stamina and chakra to afford failed attempts. But she pushes that away because it’s not something she can change.(At night, sometimes she has to bite her arm to stop from screaming. Because she’s worked so hard and still there’s so much she can’t do but Naruto’s potential is limitless.Paper ninja, she repeats, you’re only ever going to be a paper ninja.)
Sakura spends most of her time exhausted. She has class, tutoring Naruto (which has become a regular thing), work, and any spare time she has is dedicated to training. Even when she takes breaks she’s reading a scroll or training her chakra sense.She knows if she continues pushing herself this hard, inevitable she’ll wear herself down and do more harm than good but--We need to be better, Inner says, sharp. We need to protect Naruto.Sakura freezes. Because she likes Naruto and when someone sneers down at him or a merchant overcharges him, something inside her rebels, something straining to break free, to show everyone just how wrong they are about this lonely boy, sunshine bright despite everything but--Yeah, Inner says, a little smug but mostly resigned. He’s our friend.Sakura doesn’t know what to do with that. She’s never had a friend before.(Maybe, in another world, there would be Ino. In a world where Sakura cries because of bullies, Ino would come to her rescue. In another world, Ino would teach Sakura how to be proud. In this world, Sakura ignores civilian girls’ jeers and never needs protection, not from this. In this world, Sakura’s parents are bitter and children can only do so much.)
The bell above the door rings and Miyuki looks up from her place behind the counter with a smile.“Welcome, what can I do for you today?”The shinobi, who she recognizes as a jounin who’s sometimes the clerk at the library, in front of her pauses, and if Miyuki wasn’t so good at reading body language she wouldn’t have noticed it.“Well,” the shinobi says, flicking the senbon in his mouth, “you could tell me when your next break is.”Miyuki flicks her gaze to Aki, one of her co-workers. “Cover for me?” she asks, pleading.Aki heaves a sigh. “Fine, but you get closing.”“Deal,” she says, before turning to the shinobi. “My break is right now.”He inclines his head, before motioning her to follow him. She does, feeling like she’s marching to the gallows.They turn into an alley, and for a heart-stopping second, she wonders if she’s wildly misread the situation, then the shinobi grabs her arm and there’s a twist and suddenly they’re in a clearing.She’s been maintaining the henge for almost two hours now and she’s so tired and her father just got back yesterday and the air feels oppressive, like gravity has increased and something like fear but stronger has wormed its way out of her gut--Killing intent, Inner says, frantically. This is killing intent--Her henge breaks.Sakura is left on her knees, curled in on herself, chest heaving, shaky and pale.“Shit,” she hears above her, distant like she’s underwater. “Shit, you’re the library kid.”There’s a hand on her shoulder and Sakura flinches violently, shoving herself away and trying to make herself look as small as possible. Her pulse rushes in her ears and her mouth works to try to get enough air.Slow deep breaths, Inner reminds her. Concentrate on what you can feel. The dirt beneath you, the chakra from the trees, the weight of your clothes.Sakura comes back to herself in inches, fought and hard won inches, pushing back glass at her feet, hands heavy and bruising against her skin, and paper ninja is all you’ll ever be.She’s curled on her side, tears pooled in the dip of her cheek. She takes a deep, shuddering breath, and pushes herself up.Then, she remembers she’s not alone.Frantically, she scrubs her face, humiliation swelling inside her. She chances a glance through her sticky lashes at the shinobi.He’s crouched a few feet from her, senbon dangling from his mouth precariously. He catches her gaze and holds his hands up.“I’m not gonna hurt you, kid,” he says, low and gentle. Like he’s talking to a scared animal.And maybe he is. Sakura wants nothing more than to stand, to run, but her legs are too shaky, her breath still hitches with every inhale, and she’s still too weak.“Kid, I’m gonna come closer okay? You’re dangerously close to chakra exhaustion, I’m going to take you to the hospital--”Something grows in her chest and crawls out as laughter. It sounds hollow and bitter and falls flat in a still air.“I’ve had worse,” she says hoarsely.“That is the furthest thing from reassuring,” the shinobi says, somewhat dryly, and it startles a snort from her.She pushes the hair out of her face and sits up fully. They sit in silence for a long moment before she rushes out, “Please don’t tell anyone.”The shinobi blinks once, slow, before shaking his head. “Look, kid, I don’t know you too well, but I know you’re a Konoha citizen. I know you’re not a spy. What I wanna know is why?”“I need money,” she says.“You have parents,” he points out.Sakura pushes down the fresh wave of fear at the reminder of pain across her cheek and her mother scolding her father for hitting her in such a hard to cover up spot, while she cradles her face and thinks you’re supposed to love me, but something must show, because the shinobi’s face goes hard.
“Ah,” is all he says and Sakura wants to disappear.

A long beat then, “You have anyone to help you out?”

This makes her pause, because does she?

Naruto, Inner says, and Sakura repeats that out loud.

“Uzumaki?” There’s something in the shinobi’s voice that makes her look up, a sharp spark of anger in her.

(She clings to it because anger is so much better than hopelessness. Anger is something she can understand. Something she can use.)

“Is there a problem with that?” she asks, eyes narrow.

“Nah,” the shinobi says and leaves it at that.

Sakura huffs out a breath then a yawn cracks her jaws.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said you were close to chakra exhaustion.”

Sakura shrugs. “And I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve had worse.”

Part of her is cursing herself for being so open but--
He already knows the worst, Inner says. There’s no point in hiding now.
“At least let me walk you home,” he says, and Sakura nods, too tired to argue.

Later that night, once again Miyuki, she leaves work and doesn’t notice a shadow on the rooftops making sure she gets home safe.

(In another world, Sakura would have Ino. In this world, she has Naruto, but children can only do so much. Shinobi are a different matter entirely.)

Genma doesn’t entirely know what to do with the pink haired kid.

“Sakura,” she said her name was, which he had already known that, but giving him her name was a sign of trust.

“Genma,” he has said back, and left.

He remembers her flinch and the look of fear and resignation on her face. Remembers the long pause when he asked if she had anyone.

“Naruto,” she has said. And there’s was a sharpness to her voice when he was surprised. Even depleted as it was, her chakra sparked, ready to defend her friend.

(And that was just another one of his failures, wasn’t it? The Yondaime's, his Hokage’s, son was so ostracized, that his friend automatically assumed if anyone has anything to say about him it was bad.)

Genma heaves a sigh, removing his senbon in favor of eating dango.

“Never seen you look anything but happy when you’re eating dango.”

Genma looks up at Raidou, at his stupid grinning face, before leaning back into his chest and sighing again.

“I’m reflecting,” he says, mournfully.

“Reflecting,” Raidou repeats, eyebrows raising. He’s right to be skeptical. Genma’s reflecting usually includes a destroyed training ground and getting drunk enough to forget his own name.
(He relives old battles and thinks if only I had done this, used this strategy, been better and his mind refuses to be quiet until it’s soaked in alcohol.)
Genma pulls his thoughts to the present. “It’s something you do when you get old. You should know.”

“Hey, now,” Raidou says reproachfully, “I’m only a year older than you.”

“I know,” Genma drawls, “practically ancient.”

Raidou huffs and slouches onto the chair next to him, ordering himself his own stick of dango.

They sit in silence. Genma is grateful that Raidou knows when to push and when to let Genma think.

“So,” he starts, then pauses. He sighs, massaging his temples. “So,” he says, again, and tells Raidou about Sakura.

“Wait, Sakura Haruno? Haruno, as in those stuck up merchants?” Raidou says. “Damn, I knew her parents were pieces of shit, but this is a whole new level.”

They share a grimace. Both of them had, at one point, been assigned as guards for the Haruno Clan. It was all patronizing smiles and sly, subtle insults. On one memorable occasion, a merchant made a remark how Kurenai was “a nice woman, but needed to settle down before it was too late.” Raidou kept a close eye on her for the rest of the trip to ensure she didn’t cast a genjutsu on unsuspecting civilians.

“She’s friends with Naruto,” Raidou says, quietly. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” Genma says. “At least they have each other.”

There’s a long silence, because they know Konoha, for all its preaching, isn’t a nice place. In a different, better, world, two lonely kids who only have each other wouldn’t be lonely and would be surrounded by friends and family.

But Naruto is hated for something out of his control and Sakura’s parents are bitter.

At least they have each other.

(And, eventually, they’ll have so much more. Because this, this is a beginning. Tomorrow, Genma and Raidou will turn up at the cafe and they’ll slip money in Miyuki’s pockets. Tomorrow, Sakura will treat Naruto to ramen and buy both of them practice kunia. Years from now, Naruto will be hailed as a hero and Sakura will be at his back, smiling, before she’s pulled into a hug.)

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Sakura’s beginning to think she’s gotten herself into something she doesn’t understand. And that rankles, because understanding is what she’s supposed to be good at. But here, with this, she’s in over her head.“What?” she asks, faintly.“Jiji wants to meet you,” Naruto says.
“And your jiji is the Hokage?”Naruto smiles bright. “Yeah!”Sakura lowers herself to the ground and slowly rests her head in her hands. Oh kami , she thinks. Naruto personally knows the Hokage. The Hokage wants to meet me. Sakura hears Naruto calling her name and she takes one, two, three deep breaths and looks up.“Okay, Naruto,” she says, “Let’s go.”
Sakura sits, back straight, ankles crossed, hands folded in her lap, the way her mother taught her a proper lady should sit. She hates it, but everything has a time and place. Meeting the Hokage is the time for sitting like a proper lady.The Hokage smiles, kindly, his eyes warm, but Sakura’s parents smile lovingly at her until they’re alone. She knows how easily someone can pretend.“Hello Sakura-chan,” the Hokage says, “It’s nice to finally meet you. Naruto’s told me so much about you.”Sakura feels her cheeks heat up. “Ah, Hokage-sama, it’s an honor to meet you.”Naruto launches into exaggerated tales of what they had done this week and Sakura is content to let him talk. She isn’t entirely sure what to do. Because if they Hokage cares about Naruto, why does he allow everyone to mistreat him? He’s the Hokage , Inner says. As a military leader, he can’t afford to care .Sakura watches his indulgent smile and his relaxed posture as he listens to Naruto. Maybe he can’t afford to, she thinks, but he does anyway. There’s a pause in the conversation and both the Hokage and Naruto are looking at her. Hokage-sama asked how you liked school, Inner tells her quickly.Sakura scrambles to come up with a reply. “I like the academy well enough. I prefer the theoretical learning to everything else, but I do my best in all the subjects.”“Yeah, Sakura-chan’s the number one kunoichi!” Naruto brags.Sakura ducks her head, bashful. “It’s mostly thanks to my high academic scores and chakra control. I don’t have the same physical conditioning and stamina as some of our other classmates.”“But you’re improving with that too,” Naruto encourages her. “Eventually you’ll be the strongest kunoichi ever, dattebayo!”“And you’ll be the Hokage,” Sakura tells him. And she believes it. Because politics can be taught, besides the Hokage has a council and advisors, but being a good leader, the kind that can inspire people
is a born talent. And Naruto has it. And we’ll be with him every step of the way, Inner says firmly.And seeing Naruto’s wide grin at her faith in him, Sakura agrees.
Kizashi is leaving again, this time to oversee a trade agreement. Sakura bids him farewell at the gates, alongside her mother. She stands straight, hands folded in front of her, with her head tilted slightly down.“Have a safe journey Otou-sama,” she says, bowing in tandem with her mother.Her mother leaves, but Sakura stays at the gate, lingering long after the group has disappeared.“He’ll be fine,” one of the chunin at the gate says.Sakura hums in acknowledgment. He probably will be but there’s always a chance he won’t. And as much as Sakura, well not hates, but dislikes her father, she dislikes her mother even more. At least when her father is around, it’s mostly physical. She can take a hit.She’s always been a thinker, arguably to the point of overthinking. Words affect her more. They’re not something she can’t slap a bandage over and wait to heal.Part of the reason she lingers so long at the gate is she dreads going home. Think of it a psychological warfare, Inner says bracingly.Strangely enough, that’s comforting. It’s a kind of training, Sakura thinks and heads home.
The first days are always the worse. Because Mebuki is the perfect woman, the perfect wife, and fades into the background in the presence of her husband. She bites her tongue and smiles and cooks and serves tea. But when Kizashi is gone, Mebuki allows herself some freedom.This freedom leads to Sakura making herself as scarce as possible. Which is how she ends up meeting Tenten.
Sakura’s getting nervous despite herself. At the end of the school year are the genin exams. They loom, a distant but growing reminder on the horizon. She’s fairly confident in her abilities. She’ll never be a prodigy, but she’s firmly average, if not a little above. It’s what comes after that makes her anxious.Genin teams.Her first and only friend is Naruto. (She doesn’t think Genma and Raidou count. They whirl in and out of her life on a whim, with pockets full of smoke bombs and exploding tags. But they have to leave, eventually.) Sakura’s terrified of losing him. The only reason he sticks around is because we’re the only ones willing to be friends with him, Inner says. But once he gets a team, they’ll realize how amazing he is. He’ll find someone better than us, Sakura thinks. Or we can become the best, Inner says, voice steely. Maybe we can’t be the best friend, but an ally? Someone who’s strong enough to protect his back? We can become that. Sakura takes a breath, holds, then release it. Okay, she thinks. Okay. Time to get to work .
As in all things, Sakura heads to the library. She’s read through everything she can get her hands on in terms of chakra control and exercises. As well as a good portion of the history and law section. She studied all she could about taijutsu out of necessity, as it is her weakest area. But this time, she passes all of those in favor of weapon training scrolls. Her eyes trail to the genjitsu sections, but she forces herself to pass it up. She’s learned as much genjitsu as she can without practicing on someone.But adding a weapon to her taijutsu could give her the edge she needs. She knows her taijutsu has improved and she’s average, at least. But average won’t cut it. She needs to be the best.A tanto is fairly standard, especially among chunin. It’s a good starting point.
Sakura scans through a few scrolls on different kataas and basic techniques and checks out the ones she wants to study.Then it’s time to go shopping.
She’s never been to the shinobi shopping district before. Civilian stores carry clothes and practice weapons so she’s never needed to venture further.But she’s a merchant's daughter. She knows how to spot good products, how to determine good prices, and how to haggle, if necessary.She passes by the first few shops, selling low-quality items for high prices, obviously trying to trick civilians. She delves deeper, scanning the store windows for a good weapons shop.There,
Inner says.It’s a small store, taller than it is wide, with an apartment on the second floor. Suzuki Weapons , the sign outside reads. Displayed in the windows are several weapons, ranging from katanas to fuma shuriken. There are also sealing scrolls and exploding tags.And there’s a sale. Perfect, she and Inner think.Sakura walks into the shop, the bell above the door announcing her arrival. There are shelves of smaller weapons along with sealing materials. Hung on the walls are larger weapons, unsheathed to show off the blade. Focus, Inner says as Sakura’s gaze is drawn to a longer than usual odachi. The skill needed to craft such a long sword was impressive. Yeah, it is, Inner agrees, but it’s also not what we’re looking for. Tanto, remember? Sakura holds back a sigh. Then she heads towards where the shorter swords are displayed.“Oh, hello,” a voice calls out to her.Sakura turns to see a girl walking out from the backroom. She’s hurriedly gathering her damp hair into two buns.“Sorry, I just got back from training, I’ll be with you in a sec,” the girl explains. Sakura waves off her apology, before returning to the tantos. We’re going to need a practice one too, Inner says, until we get used to using it, then we can move onto the real thing. We should still buy a real tanto , Sakura thinks, and maybe some sealing supplies. That seems useful.“So, need help with anything?” the girl asks. We need to stop being distracted so easily when we talk, Sakura thinks. At loud she says, “I’m looking to purchase a tanto, along with a practice one, do you have any recommendations?”The girl's eyes light up. “Okay, do you already have an idea of what type you want?” At Sakura’s negative, the girl grins. “So, a really common basic types in the hira, with one long cutting edge. Then there’s the shinogi, which is basically a broken longsword repurposed. A good in-between in the shobu, with the cutting edge sloping into the pointed tip, rather than the sharp angle found with shinogi.”With each type of blade, the girl picks up an example for Sakura to see the differences.“These are the types we have in stock right now,” the girl explains, “but if you want a different kind, just place an order and we’ll make it.”Sakura shakes her head. “A shobu will be fine.”“In terms of length the smallest we have is one-fourth shaku, making it easy to hide under clothes, and the longest we have is one full shaku,” the girl picks up a blade, “for you, I’d recommend a blade length of three-fourths shaku.”She presents it to Sakura handle first. The handle, slightly wider than the blade itself, is covered in dark gray wrappings for grip. The characters “bell” and “tree” are carved into the base of the handle. The blade itself looks well maintained, its sharp edge glinting slightly in the light.“On this rack,” the girl
says, catching Sakura’s attention, “we have sheaths. These ones here,” she gestures, “are made for three-fourths shobu tantos. Of course, we can always custom make a sheath.”Sakura glances over the sheaths before selecting a dark green one with a dark gray string to tie to a belt.“Excellent choice,” the girl
says, before handing over the accompanying practice tanto. “Need help with anything else?”“I’m just going to grab a few sealing supplies,” Sakura says, shaking her head The girl grins and returns to behind the counter.Sakura peruses the sealing section for a bit, eventually deciding on a few sealing scrolls along with blank seals, brushes, and ink. Genma mentioned something about teaching her to make her own exploding tags.When she goes to purchase, the price is less than she was expecting. At her confused look, the girl laughs.“Consider it a gift from a fellow weapons and fuinjutsu enthusiast,” the girl girns. “Name’s Tenten, by the way.”Sakura smiles her thanks. “Sakura.”Later, after dinner with her mother, Tenten’s kindness is something she clings too.
Naruto is nervous. He’s more fidgety than usual and his attention is clearly somewhere else. Sakura stops her explanation of the Warring Clan Era and waits for him to notice she’s stopped speaking.After a few moments, Naruto blinks. He grins sheepishly. “Sorry, Sakura-chan. Guess I’m sort of distracted today.”Sakura waits, to see if Naruto will tell her what’s on his mind. When no answer is forthcoming, she takes a guess. “Is it the genin exams?”Naruto’s shoulders slump. “Yeah. I really wanna pass this time.”Reassurances on are Sakura’s tongue before she catches something about the sentence. “Wait… this time?”“Yeah, I failed the last three times.” The last part of the sentence is muttered quietly.“Naruto, you’re younger than me,” Sakura says, but her mind is racing.“Jiji let me start the Academy early,” Naruto says.“Naruto, you would have been five when you started. And early graduation isn’t allowed anymore. Even if you were ready, the teachers couldn’t allow you to become a genin.”“What?” Naruto exclaims, “The teachers never told me that! They just said I failed!”“They lied,” Sakura says, voice hard. How dare they, Inner seethes. Making him think it’s his fault. Haven’t they done enough, why do they hate him so much--Sakura tunes Inner out, instead focusing on Naruto. “Since it’s peacetime, no one under twelve is allowed to graduate, even if they’re ready. Most children enter the Academy at eight, so by the time they're ready to graduate, they’re twelve or thirteen.”“Why did nobody tell me?” Naruto demands, frustration and anger lacing his voice.Sakura’s anger softens into sympathy. “I don’t know Naruto.”The lapse into silence. Sakura has no idea what to say. Her heart clenches at the thought of a little Naruto, failing time and time again and believing it to be his fault. We already knew how cruel people can be, Sakura thinks, but why does almost everyone in the village hate Naruto? I don’t know. But he deserves so much better , Inner says, her anger fading into remorse.Beside her, Naruto takes a deep, shuddering breath, and asks, in a small voice, “Why did Jiji never tell me?’“He probably never knew,” Sakura says. At least, she hopes that’s the case. The Hokage seemed to genuinely care for Naruto. Please , she prays to the kami, let Naruto have people who care for him .Searching for something to say, Sakura gives Naruto a small smile. “It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll pass this year.”
Naruto doesn’t pass.Sakura waits for him. Waits for him to come barreling out of the classroom, grin in place, hitai-ate clutched proudly in his hand.But he doesn’t come.There’s only Iruka-sensei, who, when he sees Sakura waiting, shakes his head sadly.Sakura spends the rest of the day in their clearing, waiting for Naruto. She has work, but she can’t bring herself to go. What if Naruto shows up and she’s not there. She can always get another job, she can’t get another friend.It’s only late in the night, when the alarm sounds, that Sakura quietly slips back home.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Sakura-chan!”
Sakura jerks her head up from the desk. A smile breaks across her face when she sees Naruto standing there, grin bright and hitai-ate tied around his forehead.“Naruto,” she breathes. Then, her relief fades and she’s left with annoyance. “I was so worried about you!”She freezes, apology on her tongue for snapping, but Naruto’s smile turns sheepish.“Sorry, sorry, Sakura-chan.” He drops down into the empty chair next to her. “I’ll tell you all about it later, okay?”Sakura manages a nod before Iruka-sensei calls the class to attention. He starts calling out teams.Distantly, Sakura recognizes that most of the civilians are placed on teams together. But, more importantly, she glances at Naruto from the corner of her eye.“No matter what,” she whispers lowly to him, “we’ll still be friends?”“Of course,” Naruto whispers back, as if it was never a question.“Team seven,” Iruka-sensei calls out, “will be Haruno Sakura.”Sakura crosses her fingers, hoping for at least someone tolerable.“Uzumaki Naruto."Naruto lets out a loud whoop and turns to her, grin bright. Sakura grins back.
“And Uchiha Sasuke.”Naruto lets out a groan and Sakura pats his arm sympathetically. The two boys have had an intense rivalry since their first spar, one that consisted of Naruto yelling and Sasuke ignoring him until their back in the sparring ring. Looks like we’re going to have to play mediator, Inner sighs. We’re not exactly an impartial party, Sakura thinks. Hopefully, our sensei will be. “Team Seven's sensei will be Hatake Kakashi,” Iruka-sensei announces before moving on to the next team.Sakura listens absentmindedly to the other team announcements while racking her brain for any information of Hatake Kakashi. Didn’t Genma and Raidou mention him a few time? Inner asks. From what I remember, they were always very exasperated. The Hatake are also a clan decedent from samurai. I think Kakashi is the last, Sakura thinks. We’ll have read about it and ask Genma or Raidou the next time we see them. Information gathering, Inner says gleefully, excellent. Iruka dismisses the class for lunch, telling them their senseis will arrive after class. Sakura snags Naruto’s sleeve before he can go bounding off to Ichiraku and drags them over to where Sasuke sits.He doesn’t glance at them.“Hey teme, don’t ignore Sakura-chan!”Sasuke scoffs. This is going to be hard, Sakura thinks, before interrupting the budding fight.“Look,” she says, both boys pausing at the steel in her voice, “I know neither of you like each other, and I’m not un-biased either, but we’re a team now. We’re going to train and fight and bleed together. Our lives will depend on how well we work together.”She lets her eyes soften. “We don’t have to all be best friends, but we have to learn to tolerate and trust each other. If we can do that, we can become unstoppable.”
Sakura resists the urge to scream. Inner has no such reservations and rages in the back of her mind. Not only had both boys ignored her--well, Naruto had tried to follow her advice but then Sasuke insulted her and Naruto defended her and they were right back to where they started--but their sensei was late. An hour had passed since all the other teams were collected and still team seven waited.She takes a deep breath, holds, and releases it with a sigh. Might as well do something useful, she thinks and takes out a scroll on basic seals. Fuinjutsu has caught her interest in a way nothing has before. It’s something that doesn’t require vast reserves of chakra, like high-level ninjutsu do, or physical prowess, like taijutsu. It’s also something she can practice by herself with proper safety precautions, unlike genjutsu. I can practically hear Genma yelling at us about never practicing new techniques alone, Inner says dryly. He’s an absolute mother-hen, Sakura thinks. Sometimes it can be annoying. Sakura is independent by both nature and nurture and having someone trying to limit her, even if it’s for a good reason, is grating. Mostly though, she’s just grateful.It’s nice, having someone care enough about her to be worried.“Hey, Sakura-chan, whatcha reading?”Sakura looks up to see Naruto crouched on the seat next to her, peering down at the scroll she has spread out on the desk.“I figured I might as well do something useful while we wait for our sensei to show up, so I’m studying fuinjutsu,” Sakura explains. Her eyes light up as an idea comes to her. “Naruto. Would you like to learn? After all your clan was known for their skill in fuinjutsu.”Naruto stills beside her. “What,” he croaks out.Sakura turns to him, brows scrunched. Did I say something wrong , she wonders.
“I have a clan?” Naruto asks, voice shaking. No, Sakura thinks, struck with a horrifying realization. They never told him. How could they, Inner seethes, rage bubbling in her voice. They deny him a happy childhood, a proper education, and now any tie he has to his family! I thought Hokage-sama cared for him, how could he-- Sakura ignores her as much as she can, as much as her anger allows her too. Instead, she tries to soften her voice as much as she can.“I’m sorry Naruto, I thought--” she breaks off, pressing her lips together. “Well, the Uzumaki clan was the founding clan of Uzushio, the village for the Land of Whirlpools and Konoha’s sister village. Because of their large chakra reserves and fuinjutsu skill, during the Third Shinobi War, Kiri and Kumo allied to destroy the village.”There’s a heavy silence.“Am I the only one left?” Naruto asks.Sakura clenches her fists at the despair in his voice. “I don’t know. There were no documented survivors, but you’re an Uzumaki, even if you’re only half.”To herself, she thinks, Any survivors probably would have come to Konoha for protection. Naruto swipes at his eyes. “So,” he says, voice cracking. He clears his throat. “So one of my parents was from a clan so awesome it took two other villages to destroy it?”Sakura nods mutely, once again stunned by Naruto’s ability to be positive.“And they were super good at fuinjutsu?” Naruto asks, mostly to himself though Sakura nods anyway. “Then I’ll be super good at it too!”He grabs her hands and she suppresses a flinch. But his hands are gentle.“Sakura-chan, please,” Naruto bows his head low, pleading. “Please teach me.”“Of course,” Sakura says gravely, weaving her fingers into his. “I offered, after all.”She turns to Sasuke, who’s pretending not to notice them. “Would you like to learn?”He grunts in response, but there’s a gleam of interest in his eyes as he shifts his body to face them.That’s how Kakashi finds them, Sakura lecturing, the board behind her filled with different seal matrices, Naruto leaning forward in his seat and Sasuke pretending not to pay attention.(If he sees other faces, other people, well, no one has to know.)
“So, introduction,” Kakashi-sensei says, clapping his hands together. “Likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, things like that.”“Sensei, why don’t you go first?” Sakura suggests. She doubts he’ll give away anything of importance, but it never hurts to try.Kakashi-sensei slants a look towards her, before shrugging. “I am Hatake Kakashi. I have no intentions of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream... I have few hobbies.”“Sensei, we didn’t learn anything new about you,” Naruto complains. Kakashi-sensei just crinkles his eye and gestures to Sakura to start her introduction. Be unhelpful, Inner insists.Sakura resists the urge to roll her eyes. She may be annoyed at Kakashi-sensei, but they are supposed to be a team. Best not to get off on the wrong foot. Let’s just not mention Genma and Raidou, being friendly doesn't mean giving everything away, she thinks.“I’m Haruno Sakura. I like training and hanging out with Naruto. I dislike bullies and people who are mean for no reason. My hobbies are reading and recently I’ve taken up learning fuinjutsu. My dream is to become as strong as possible and support my precious people.”At Sakura pointed glance, Naruto begins his introduction. “I’m Uzumaki Naruto and I like training with Sakura-chan and pulling pranks on Iruka-sensei and ramen. I dislike bullies and when Sakura-chan makes me eat healthy foods. My hobbies are pranking and eating ramen. My dream is to protect my precious people and become Hokage dattebayo!”Something is Kakashi softens at Naruto’s declaration. Like some sort of bittersweet nostalgia. His face blanks as he turns towards Sasuke.The Uchiha stifles a sigh. “My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and kill a certain someone.” I have a feeling he’s not going to be big on teamwork, Inner says dryly.Sakura suppresses a snort. But something in her shivers at the burning hatred in her teammate. As understandable as it is, Sasuke has to be careful or his drive for revenge will consume him.Kakashi-sensei hums before starting blandly, “You’re not genin yet.”“What?” Naruto exclaims, eyes wide. Beside him, Sakura tenses, mind racing.“You passed the Academy exam but not the genin one,” there’s something sharp in Kakashi-sensei’s eye. “Be warned, 66% fail the exam and have to repeat the Academy.”Of course, Inner says, the Academy exam was to weed out anyone who wasn’t ready to become genin. This is the real test, Sakura thinks grimly. Her fingers curl into fists. One we have to pass.

Kakashi-sensei leaves them on the roof in a swirl of leaves after telling them the specifics of the exam.Before Sasuke can leave Sakura calls out to him.“Do you want to go back to the Academy?”Sasuke jerks to a stop and turns to face her. He says nothing but his eyes burn an acquisition-- how dare you even think I’d fail .Sakura stands her ground. She’s faced scarier things than a teen boy. “Because that’s what’ll will happen if we fail this test. And I, for one, am not willing to risk that.”“What should we do?” Naruto asks, face a mask of determination.“We try to figure out what this test will be,” she turns to Naruto and feels a grin break across her face.“Genma and Raidou?” Naruto asks.“Genma and Raidou,” Sakura agrees.“Genma and Raidou?” Sasuke mutters.
“So,” Sakura starts on the way to the jounins' usual haunts, “I’ve read about the Hatake Clan. They’re decedent from samuria and known for their tracking abilities. And,” she carefully does not look at either boy beside her, “he’s the last of his clan.”She takes a glance at Sasuke. “Sasuke-kun, do you have access to any bingo books? The ones in the library don’t give out information on Konoha shinobi.”Sasuke shrugs. Completely unhelpful, Inner says snidely.Naruto leans close to her and in a stage-whisper says, “We’ll have better luck finding Genma and Raidou than convincing Sasuke-teme to be helpful.”
Sasuke tenses and drifts a little farther away from them. Sakura throws her eyes up to the sky and prays for patience.
Kakashi pulls his chakra into himself and presses it into a tight ball at the center of his chest. Overkill for a couple of not-even-genin, but the Uzumaki had some of the most renowned sensors in the shinobi world and the Uchiha has been hailed as a prodigy. And the civilian was the top kunoichi of her year.He crouches in a tree overlooking the designated meeting place, the barest flicker of chakra at the soles of his feet to secure his position. He settles into a relatively comfortable position and waits.Sasuke arrives first, right on time. He slouches against a tree trunk, idly spinning a kunai around his finger. A few minutes later he hears approaching laughter. From his peripheral, he sees Naruto, his head thrown back in laughter.Naruto has always looked like Minato, even when he was just a little, fragile thing Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to hold for fear of breaking him. But laughing he looks so much like Kushina Kakashi’s breath freezes. He swallows past the mix of grief and nostalgia (god this is why he hates the downtime between missions when all he has are his regrets and a cold stone that gives him nothing) and slides his gaze to the girl.Haruno Sakura, Naruto’s only friend. Kakashi knows what most civilians think of Naruto and he confesses he’s surprised Sakura somehow managed to escape her opinion of him being poisoned. Or, he thinks, looking past that and befriending Naruto anyway.It’s admirable, but not enough for him to even consider passing this team. He’s failed six teams before them, they will not be the exception.Though the council will be a headache and a half when he fails the last loyal Uchiha. But the Hokage will smooth things over. Hopefully.Kakashi watches as the genin-hopeful gather together and settles in to wait.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“You’re late,” Sasuke says as Sakura Naruto approach. Naruto sends him a sleepy glare.Sakura holds back a sigh. It’s entirely too early to deal with brooding and bickering boys. “Only by a few minutes. Besides, Kakashi-sensei isn’t even here yet.”Sasuke huffs and looks away. He’s more irritable than usual because it turns out Genma and Raidou were out on a mission and they wasted an entire afternoon trying to find them. Sakura can see Naruto bristled and she hurries to intervene.“Have you guys eaten breakfast?”“Of course not!” Naruto says, shaking off Sasuke’s apathy. “Kakashi-sensei told us not to.”“He suggested, not ordered. Plus,” Sakura slips into the lecturing voice she uses when helping Naruto, “nutrition is really important, especially for our developing bodies. How can we expect to perform to our full potential when we don’t have enough energy?”Sakura slides a scroll from the pack on her back and unfurls it with a flick of her wrist. She sends a spark of chakra along the seal and wrapped onigiri and sliced apples appear in a puff of smoke.
“Oh, woah, that’s a sealing scroll right?” Naruto leans in eagerly to examine the seal closely.Sakura nods. “I’m not skilled enough to make my own, at least not for food, so Genma-san was kind enough to make one for me.”Sasuke angles his body to face them and asks what should be a question but he says it like a statement. “There’s a difference between sealing scrolls for food and weapons.”Sakura carefully represses a smile and says, “Yes, for weapons you just have to create… a pocket space, I guess you could call it. It’s basically like a pouch. But with food, you have to worry about preservation. You have to add the time aspect to the seal to put the food into stasis to prevent it from spoiling.”She stops herself from gushing about all the intricacies of sealing. Naruto would let her teach him but she doubts Sasuke would be okay with it. She doubts he would be okay with anyone knowing he has even a passing interest in anything but fighting. And even less okay with her teaching him anything. He’s not completely hopeless, Inner says as Sasuke grabs an onigiri. He doesn’t have friends but he has a rival in Naruto. Maybe, Sakura thinks as Naruto and Sasuke engage in a sleepy argument, he just doesn’t know how to want precious people anymore. She shakes away the somber thought, snags slices of apples, and settles in to wait.
Kakashi arrives in a swirl leaves and smoke five hours late. Naruto explodes into a rant about him being late while Sakura discreetly returns the scroll to its proper place. Kakashi catches the movement but says nothing.“So,” he says, seemingly entirely too cheerful for someone who forced them to be awake so early only to make them wait, “time for your test!”“Finally,” Naruto mutters to her and she brushes her shoulder against his in agreement.Kakashi wanders over to a training post and sets a clock down on it. “This will go off at noon,” he says and he pulls two bells from his pocket, “and you have until noon to get these bells from me. If you can’t get them before time is up you fail.”The three of them exchange glances before Sakura speaks up. “But, Kakashi-sensei, there are only two bells.”Kakashi-sensei’s visible eye crinkles into a smile. “Exactly. Only two of you will pass.” What, Inner says flatly.The three of them exchange glances again but this time there is a clear divide. Sakura and Naruto stand side by side with Sasuke a few feet away. Naruto inches closer to her.“I suggest you come at me with the intent to kill,” Kakashi says mildly, “otherwise none of you can even hope to pass.”It makes sense, he’s a jounin and they’re not even genin. Even with the intent to kill they probably won’t be able to do any significant damage, but still, to be looked down on rankles. It’s the truth, she reminds herself and focuses back on Kakashi.“Do your best,” Kakashi says, “Start!”Sakura snags Naruto’s hand and together they leap into the trees. They stop when the clearing is out of sight but not out Sakura’s sensing range.“Okay,” she breathes, “we need a plan.”“I can set up some traps,” Naruto offers, “Like, around the clearing.”Sakura nods but stops him before he can jump off, “Try not to catch Sasuke up in one. What’s safe for a jounin can be very much lethal to a genin.”Naruto just grins and snaps off a lazy salute before leaving. Okay, planning time, she thinks. We don’t need to beat Kakashi-sensei, just distract him long enough to grab the bells. Maybe lead him to a trap? Or a smoke bomb? Only Sakura can’t see any jounin, especially not a veteran of the Third Shinobi War, fall for such a tactic. Genma certainly doesn’t. She’s not confident enough in her genjutsu to try and capture an alert jounin in one. She’s managed to snag Raidou in one twice and Genma once but only when they’re distracted. Even then, they break out of it in a few moments.Maybe an area effect genjutsu would work rather than something targeting Kakashi specifically. But then there’s a chance that Naruto will be caught up in it and his chakra control is still too shaky to break a genjutsu.Or maybe she could use a smoke bomb and then cast a genjutsu while Kakashi is distracted. With her chakra sense, she’d be able to tell where he was even with the smoke and she could grab the bells while he was still caught in her genjutsu. But Naruto was faster than her, so maybe she should direct him and he can grab the bells. We’re so out of our depth, she thinks despairingly. A couple of fresh Academy students can’t take out a jounin, Inner says slowly. Yes, that is the problem, Sakura thinks somewhat dryly.No, a couple of fresh Academy students cannot take out a jounin, Inner says. Kakashi-sensei survived a war when he was just a kid and we know from the bingo book his reputation has only grown since then. The purpose of the test isn’t to beat him, it’s to get the bells, Sakura thinks, unless there’s a hidden purpose? Out of all the hidden villages, what is Konoha known for? Inner asks and smirks when Sakura figures it out.She searches for Naruto’s chakra signature and finds it next to another that sparks like fire. Sakura makes her way towards them, absentmindedly side-stepping a few of Naruto’s traps. Really, they’re very well hidden, but Sakura’s trained with him enough to notice them. Naruto has a particular style that makes them easier to spot.The bushes behind her rustle and Sakura whirls around, kunai in hand to find--Naruto with shuriken buried in his side. His jumper is darkened with blood and his breath rasps loud in the quiet. He stumbles forward, reaching out, mouth forming her name--Sakura flares her chakra.Where Naruto stood there is nothing but empty air.Logically, Sakura knows Kakashi made the tactical choice. She was alone and more vulnerable for it. He had looked at the friendship between herself and Naruto and decided it was a weakness to exploit. If this were an actual battle, she would have been taken out in her momentary distraction.Logically, she can parse out all the reasons for Kakashi to do this and finds those reasons sound. Just minutes before, Sakura was planning to catch him in a genjutsu and attack.Still, her hands shake. From fear and grief and horror and anger. As she does with everything, Sakura takes that anger and feeds it until her mind stops the mantra of we couldn’t protect him we couldn’t do anything we were useless-- She uncurls her fingers from her kunai and puts it back in her pouch. She takes one last look at where Naruto stood and says, “I’ll never let that happen.”She leaves but the words hang in the still air like a promise.
Sakura finds Naruto and Sasuke in the middle of a hushed argument. Naruto spots her and instantly perks up.
“Sakura-chan, tell teme we need to work together to do this,” he says, pouting and jabbing a finger at Sasuke.Sakura is briefly surprised but remembers that for all his bluster and short-attention span, Naruto is not an idiot.“I don’t need your help,” Sasuke scoffs.“Sasuke-kun, Kakashi-sensei fought in a war and lived when he was our age. He’s only gotten better since then, none of us can beat him alone,” she says.“Yeah, plus we just have to show that we can work together,” Naruto adds.Sasuke flicks his gaze between them. “What if you’re wrong?” he points out.
“We’re not,” Naruto exclaims, throwing his hands in the air.For the briefest of moments, Sakura imagines just grabbing Naruto and leaving Sasuke behind. Maybe if they show Kakashi they’re willing to work together, he’ll pass them. It’ll be her and Naruto, against the world.Then, the moment passes. All three of them need to work together to pass, otherwise, they’ll be sent back to the Academy.“Look,” she says sharply, “we’re not wrong, but if we are, you two can have the bells.”Sasuke nods after a moment of consideration. “Just don’t weigh me down,” he says and starts towards the clearing.“Sakura-chan,” Naruto says softly, sliding into step with her.She gives him a weak smile. “Don’t worry Naruto. We’re not wrong.” We can’t afford to be, she thinks. I can’t survive another year in that house.
“Okay,” Sakura breathes, settling on her heels in a tree on the outskirts of the cleaning, “we all know the plan?”She gets a nod from Naruto and a shrug from Sasuke. She takes it as a yes.She flashes through the necessary hand-signs and a moment before she releases her chakra, she gives Sasuke a nod. Sasuke, who has the best aim out of the three of them, lobs a smoke bomb into the clearing. Upon impact with the ground, it bursts, filling the surrounding area with thick gray smoke.Sakura casts the hell viewing technique, hoping the smoke will mask the signature swirl of leaves long enough for Sasuke to grab the bells.In a puff of smoke, twenty-five Naruto’s crowd the clearing to hopefully block off escape routes.“He’s 150 feet at three o’clock,” Sakura says, feeling Kakashi’s thick ozone chakra. Sasuke propels himself off the branch and into the smoke. Sakura feels the genjutsu break and has to clench her teeth to prevent herself from calling after Sasuke. He could still succeed with just the smoke screen.There’re a few tense moments, Sakura can’t hear or see a thing, but she can sense Sasuke’s chakra barreling into Kakashi’s.A great burst of wind rushes through the clearing and nearly flings Sakura off her branch. She manages to grab on with a hand, but her shoulder protests at suddenly holding all her weight. The wind dies down so unnaturally fast that it becomes clear it was a ninjutsu.Sakura carefully lowers herself onto the branch below her. A few quick rolls of her shoulder lets her know it’s not dislocated, just sore.She looks to the clearing. Goddammit, Inner curses.Sakura shares the sentiment. In the middle of the clearing, Naruto and Sasuke are tied up back to back. Next to them, Kakashi is idly reading his book. He raises his hand and waves lazily in her direction. Shit-- she thinks, but the pauses because, Kakashi isn’t coming after us?
He’s just letting us know he knows we’re here, Inner says. It’s a taunt, Sakura realizes, because if this were a real battle, the smart thing to do would be to retreat and regroup. But this isn’t about being smart, Inner says. It’s about teamwork. A pause. We’re gonna do something really stupid, Inner sighs. Yeah, Sakura thinks wryly and leaps into the clearing.If this were a real battle, Sakura would have been killed before her feet touched the ground. If this were a real battle, all three of them would have been killed within minutes.If this were a real battle, Sakura would have done the same anyway. Because maybe she doesn’t particularly like Sasuke but he’s still just a kid. And Naruto’s down there. She could never leave Naruto behind.Luckily, this isn’t a real battle. Her feet touch the ground. Kakashi stays in place, eye not moving from the pages of his book. He could at least pretend to take this seriously, Inner huffs. Sakura very pointedly ignores her. If Kakashi is allowing her the first move, she isn’t going to waste the chance.She throws five kunai in rapid succession, all of which miss. She ducks under the return volley and continues the movement into a roll. She sends a fistful of shuriken spinning towards Kakashi.There’s a muted spark of chakra beneath her feet and she gracelessly throws herself out of the way. A hole opens in the earth where she just was and behind the rush of adrenaline she thinks, I want to do that. She scrambles to her feet and jumps back, desperate to gain some distance, some time to think.She chances a glance at her teammates. They’re both wriggling, trying to escape, but they can’t loosen the knots. Their hands are too far apart to creates hand signs and neither of them has the chakra control to perform a jutsu without them. It’s all up to her.Her distraction costs her and she has to cartwheel out of the way of a small fireball. It misses her by inches but even then she can barely feel the heat of it. Which means Kakashi isn’t aiming to hurt, not really. But he is changing the game. Previously, he had just been responding to her attacks, now he’s going on the offensive.Her cartwheel sends her hands first into a shuriken buried in the ground. It tears a deep line of pain across her palm and at the sharp scent of blood in the air she thinks Kakashi’s chakra flares with something like alarm.But since she was four, Sakura has gone to bed counting bruises. She pressed at them until they bloomed a new pain and then learned to push past it. She may not be the strongest, or the fastest, or even the smartest, but she knows pain.She doesn’t pause, doesn’t give herself time to think about it, just rips the shuriken from her hand. She lets the pain feed her adrenaline and thinks. Genjutsu is essentially useless. Even with her tanto and Kakashi holding back, she has no hope of matching him in a taijutsu spar. The only premade seals she has are exploding ones but Naruto and Sasuke wouldn’t be able to get out of the blast radius. The only ninjutsu she can reliably perform are the Academy Three.But maybe that’s all she needs.It’s just the skeleton of a plan, but since befriending Naruto Sakura has found herself improvising a lot more. Because Naruto jumps in feet first and doesn’t leave time for Sakura to plan points a, b, and c, instead she has to skip right to point g. It was frustrating at first, sometimes it still is, because she doesn’t have the kind of power to be reckless, but in this instance she’s grateful.She turns on her heel and sprints back into the trees. She grabs a low hanging branch and uses her momentum to swing up and propel herself to the next branch. The rough bark stings and scrapes her injured hand but she doesn’t allow herself to stop. She’s counting on Kakashi staying in the clearing rather than pursuing her. It’s a gamble but it pays off.Sakura leans against the trunk and takes a moment to center herself. The sun has almost reached its peak in the sky, she has maybe fifteen minutes. As quickly as she dares, she runs through the hand signs--tiger, boar, ox, dog--and a clone pops into existence.
It jumps back into the clearing and engages in a game of cat and mouse, slowing leading Kakashi away from the boys. Her ruse won’t hold up for long, and it’s entirely possible Kakashi has already seen through it but is playing along because this is a test, but Sakura doesn’t need more than a few minutes.She tracks the distance between Kakashi and the boys. It stretches fifteen feet and she springs into action. She wraps an exploding tag with a modified blast radius of ten feet around a kunai and throws. A small shockwave ripples through the clearing, dispelling her clone and kicking up dust. Before the dust can settle, she casts a kwairmi. The world twists and spits her out in the place of a kunai near the boys.“Sa--” Naruto starts to say, but Sasuke shuts him up with a sharp elbow.Sakura absentmindedly nods at him in thanks as she begins sawing at the rope. It’s thick and tightly wound and she bites back a curse. She’s not going to be able to cut it in time, but maybe she can weaken it enough for the boys break.“Wait, Sakura--” Naruto cries out.The sharp edge of metal rests against her throat.“Maa,” Kakashi drawls, “is this the best the top kunoichi could come up with?”The air gains an oppressive weight. Sakura can feel herself trembling. He’s not going to actually hurt us, Inner reminds her. The reassurance falls flat. Maybe Kakashi isn’t supposed to hurt them, at least not more than they would be in any other spar, but that doesn’t mean he won’t. Fathers aren’t supposed to mean pain. Mothers aren’t supposed to be all sharpness and no love.Parents are supposed to love their children.Kakashi presses the kunai harder into her neck. It’s not enough to break the skin, but enough to hurt, enough to be a warning.Sakura swallows hard. The metal digs into her skin. Slowly, she pries her fingers one-by-one from the handle of the kunai. It drops to the ground will a dull thud. The weight in the air lifts.“You all…. Pass!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After the whirlwind of exhilaration has died down, after Kakashi tells them:

look underneath the underneath

, after Sasuke leaves without so much as a backward glance, Sakura and Naruto share a look.

Sakura very suddenly feels nervous. After learning they would be on the same team, Sakura had finally felt secure in their friendship. But now there’s been a shift. Something’s changed and Sakura doesn’t know what it is.

Sakura has always thrived off knowing—even when she had nothing, she had knowledge.

She takes a deep breath—in through the nose and out through the mouth—and reminds herself that Naruto promised they’d always be friends.

(Sakura doesn’t usually believe in promises, but she does with Naruto.)

Naruto shifts his weight from one foot to the other, and the unsure nervousness of it tugs at Sakura’s heart. Naruto looks so young, in this moment.

“So—” Sakura begins just as Naruto starts, “Can—”

They both stop and grin sheepishly at each other and the tension doesn’t break but—it eases.

“Can we go to our clearing?”

“Sure,” Sakura says, trying for casual and missing horribly. Naruto strips down her walls and exposes her soft heart. As much as it unnerves her, she knows he’ll be gentle with it.

The walk to the clearing is silent, both of them caught up in their own thoughts. When they reach it, Naruto heads towards his favorite spot. At the far edge of the clearing, there’s a weeping willow with branches long enough to brush the ground. The leaves fall around them like a curtain, or maybe a barrier. Here, the world narrows to only the two of them. Here, it becomes easier to speak.

Sakura sits cross-legged on the soft grass and waits for Naruto to speak.

And he does. He explains how Mitzuki-sensei gave him a second chance at graduating and he stole a scroll he learned the shadow-clone jutsu from and then Mitzuki and Iruka-sensei showed up and—

Here, Naruto hesitates, glancing at her quickly and then looking away. Something in Sakura cracks at seeing him so afraid.

She reaches out, slowly, and waits with her hand hovering between them, palm facing upward.

Naruto takes it, squeezes gently, and a smile breaks across his face.

Touch is a complicated thing, for Sakura. At home, touch is a violence. Is blooming bruises and biting into her cheek to stop from making any noise. A shinobi lifestyle presented touch as a means to hurt someone. Even a soft touch is a form of persuasion, of slipping past someone’s guard.
But it’s different, with Naruto.

Everything is different with Naruto.

Sakura squeezes Naruto’s hand and waits for him to gather himself. There is an itch at the back of her teeth, a kind of impatience. A desire to know what is wrong so she can

fix it.

But Naruto needs her steady, so that is what Sakura is.

Sakura waits and, eventually, Naruto opens his mouth and gives voice to the truth.

Now, Sakura has never loved anyone.

(Maybe she loved her parents once, before their relationship became twisted and ugly and strangling. When she was just a tiny, wrinkled thing that only slept and ate and cried. When mother meant food and warmth and father meant safety and gentle hands.)

Sakura has never loved anyone before but this, she thinks, must be love. Love is the strength to move worlds and the softness to lay burdens down. A warm blanket in the winter and a cool breeze on a sticky summer day.

She loves Naruto, fiercely and desperately, with all she has. Deep in her bones, running through her veins, filling her lungs, is the certainty that she would do anything for him. If he asked, she would burn Konoha to the ground.

(She has always known, rationally, that she and Naruto are too codependent to be healthy, but she has never realized the extent of it. She may hate Konoha sometimes, but it’s the only home she’s ever known. But Naruto is the only one she loves, and what is Konoha, in the face of that?)

“Those bastards,” Inner snarls using her mouth.

I’ll kill them,

Inner finishes in the safety of their mind.

Naruto stares at her, wide-eyed, and she backtracks. She’s been so careful to keep her anger from Naruto. Frustration and irritation are fine, but not her bitter, biting anger. Naruto already gets so much anger—he doesn’t need hers.

“Wait, what I meant was—”

“You don’t hate me?”

“Never,” she says, too quick and too loud and too sharp.

But it cracks something in Naruto. Cracks in a good way, because his arms are wrapped around her, gentle but firm, and his head is buried in the crook of her neck. She can feel the unevenness of his breath against her skin.

The suddenness of it makes her tense, but, slowly, she eases into it. It feels like the first cool sip of water after a training session or the first spray of hot water against worn muscles. It feels—nice.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” Naruto says, the words muffled against her skin, “but I was still afraid.”

Sakura raises her arms to settle around his shoulders. It’s a little awkward, but Naruto sags against her even more with it.

“It’s like you said,” she murmurs into the bright strands of his hair, “friends, no matter what.”

“No matter what,” Naruto repeats, something like awe in his voice.

Nothing will take this from us,

Inner says and Sakura tightens her arms in agreement.

They stay like that—leaning against each other, his fingers tangled in the back of her shirt, her chin on the top of his head—until Naruto’s breath evens out.

He pulls back, slowly, and rubs at his eyes.

For the breath of a moment, in the soft light, she considers telling him. How her home is a practice of stealth at the best of times and a battlefield at the worst. How, sometimes, despite everything he goes through, she’s jealous of him. How, when the dark makes such thoughts easier, she imagines slitting her parents’ throats.

But this moment isn’t about her. It’s about Naruto. Besides, it doesn’t matter anymore, because she can get away. Naruto can never escape.

It doesn’t truly hit her until after she’s said goodbye to Naruto. Until after she comforted him and calmed down. Sakura’s a genin. She’s an adult—she’s free.

She’s free.

A grin, wide and unburdened, splits her face. She’s free. She—she can leave. A laugh spills out of her—part relief, part disbelief. It doubles her over, clutching at her stomach. It leaves her gasping for air and wiping tears for her eyes.

She straightens back up and it feels—easier. Like a crushing weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Like if she were to jump, she would reach the stars.

We don’t even know where we’re gonna stay, Inner points out. We never planned this far ahead.

(Any future they had imagined outside of the Haruno household had been more fairytale than plan. Had been imagining all the food she could eat, in broad daylight at a table. The weapons she would keep carefully organized and the scrolls and books that would be strewn about.

But there was no apartment hunting. No careful debate on price versus location. It had been a dream neither of them wanted to hope they would reach.)

It doesn’t matter, Sakura thinks, giddy, We can leave. We could sleep under a bush and it would be better.

Yeah, Inner says, slowly, yeah I guess you’re right. Let’s go pack and find the best goddamn bush to sleep under.

Sakura laughs and heads to the Haruno household for the last time, unafraid.

Her parents are waiting for her. It’s enough to dampen Sakura’s spirits, but not completely extinguish them. She’s cautious but not scared or angry. They have no hold over her now.

But years of having politeness beaten into her doesn’t vanish is a day. She waits to be spoken to.

“So you’ve passed,” Kizashi says, his lip curling.

It’s not a question. Sakura answers anyway.

“Yes, Otou-sama.”

He sighs, long and low, as if she’s done something especially tiresome. “Come here,” he says.

Sakura walks as slowly as she dares to him. He takes her hand—the bandaged one—in his and—squeezes. He digs his blunt nails into the wound. Fresh blood blooms.

Sakura takes a shuddering breath.

It’s a battlefield, Inner reminds her. This is no different than an enemy aiming at a weak spot.

Sakura sees the punch coming. She stays in place.

It lands on her gut and all the air is pushed out of her. She instinctively doubles over, but her father lets go of her hand to grab her hair and jerks her upright.

“You will leave this house,” he says. He doesn’t shout. He never shouts. But there is a tension to his voice, as though he is withholding something big and terrible.

“And when you come crawling back, you will marry.” He lets go of her hair and shoves her away.

She stumbles, rights herself, and murmurs, “Yes, Otou-sama,” and leaves.

Sakura is sorting through her clothes—she will leave all the items bearing the Haruno symbol behind—when she hears Mebuki’s soft, even steps approaching her room.

Sakura keeps her shoulders relaxed, not acknowledging her mother lingering in the doorway.

Mebuki sighs, the sound cutting through the silence. “Do you know,” she says, “what I had to do to get here?”

It’s a question, but Mebuki doesn’t wait for an answer.

“I grew up poor. My family was nothing. My mother was in and out of the red light district and my father gambled away everything she made. And I made myself into a success story.”

Mebuki‘s eyes gleam with pride, the closest thing to happiness Sakura has ever seen on her.

“I worked for it. I gave up parts of myself to become the perfect, demure wife. But you? All of this was handed to you. It’s your birthright. And you’re giving it up,” Mebuki lifts her voice. It’s not a shout, but the closest she allows herself to get.

And, suddenly, Sakura understands.

When she had been younger—so young she barely remembers it—Mebuki had been kind. It was a hollow kindness, but a kindness all the same. She brushed Sakura’s hair and helped her pick out her outfits and made her favorite food. And then Sakura preferred reading to socializing. She liked to get dirty while playing. She liked to climb trees and she came home with bark under her fingernails and leaves in her hair.

Sakura was not the daughter Mebuki dreamed of and she hated her for it.

Sakura almost says something in return. Almost says that she’s fighting to become a shinobi the same way Mebuki fought to become an upper class lady.

But she doesn’t. Understanding is not forgiveness. She owes Mebuki nothing.

Sakura folds her clothes. Mebuki leaves.

It’s surprisingly easy to get an apartment. Apparently every year after graduation there are a whole flock of genin looking to get their own place.

Kakashi-sensei has lied when he said that if they failed they would go back to the Academy. The graduates who don’t pass jounin evaluation get folded into the genin corps.

There is, Sakura finds out, something like unofficial genin housing. A block of cheap apartment buildings on the border of the Red Light District that offer discounts to shinobi.

Sakura suspects they have a deal with the nearby bars and brothels that lure in the new adults but well. A deal’s a deal.

As she’s signing the lease for a studio apartment, she hesitates in signing her name. Haruno is not a name she wants to bear, but legally she must. Her father had cast her out, not disowned her.

So she signs

Haruno Sakura

, jots down her shinobi identification number, counts out her deposit, and is handed her key.

That night, Sakura states up at the cracked ceiling of her new apartment and wonders if she will become her mother. That if she claws her way to being a shinobi, she will hate any children she has for not being made in her image.

She can imagine it disturbingly easily. Bitterness is a constant taste at the back of her tongue. Fury is pressed into her bones. How easy it would be, to turn such things onto children.

How terribly, fatally easy it is, to make children believe they are monsters.

Never, she promises, never never never.

She traces the branching cracks in the ceiling and falls asleep as the watery light of dawn spills through her window.