Work Text
“The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.” Neil deGrasse Tyson
Welcome to Ear Biscuits. I’m Rhea!
And I’m Lynn!
And today we are discussing the wild and amazing theory of the multiverse. Is the multiverse just a science fiction trope or a science fact?
I’m sick for one week and I graciously allow Rhea to pick the topic. And what do we end up talking about? The multiverse! I can’t say I’m surprised but I’m not exactly thrilled either.
I think it’s an amazing topic! Plus, you know the Mythical Beasts out there will love it.
Projection much? Just because it’s your laye r...
And they love me and my layers. So let’s just dive into the strange foamy goodness of this topic shall we?
Sure. So you did all the research this week...
I do all the research every week!
Ok I’m going to ignore that comment. Why don’t you tell us all about the multiverse. All I know is that I read that it involves strings, bubbles, and quilts. Just like the nightclub I went to last weekend.
What kind of nightclubs are you going to? And why am I not invited?
Well this is an exclusive nightclub and you have to be cool to enter. Oh yeah… stick your tongue out at me - that’s super cool.
And I’m going to ignore that. Anyway… pop culture is full of alternate universes, parallel dimensions, and alternate timelines. You’ve got some of my favorites: Rick and Morty, Man in the High Castle…
Jaws!
Excuse me what?!
Well I’ve never seen it so I can only assume there are interdimensional shark adventures.
I know you’ve never seen Jaws because at this point it’s just about your stubbornness and pride, but you’ve got to know it has nothing to do with the multiverse.
The truth is out there!
That’s not even a Jaws reference! Anyway, back to the actual topic. So when we say the multiverse we are referring to the theory that there are an infinite number of universes in existence. And we are just one of those universes!
Yes. But the likelihood is that we have no way to possibly know if another universe exists. We can’t really measure it. Like the bubble theory says...
Wait, did you actually do research on the topic today?
Yes, but mostly just to prove you wrong. So by research - I googled, “why the multiverse theory is wrong.”
You’re an awful human being who enjoys killing my joy.
That’s true! But back to the bubbles. The bubble theory says each of these universes are like a bubble. They’re isolated and not at all interconnected. So basically we can’t really interact with them, measure them, or travel to them. I mean, at least I think that’s what the article said. I’m just waiting to be yelled at in the comments by people who know way more about this stuff.
Yeah neither Lynn nor I are cosmologists, physicists, nor science fiction writers. We are literally talking out of our asses on this topic. So what if there are infinite universes?
Well that means there are infinite versions of me. All amazing, fierce, and powerful as hell. Which is why I don’t believe in it - the universe couldn’t handle all this!
Because it’s all about you.
You’re finally admitting it. I’m so proud of you boo boo.
Of course that means there is the possibility that we have evil doppelgängers. Bwahahahaha
Rhea, you probably are the evil doppelgänger to some poor nice Rhea out there. She’s probably just a sweet thing minding her own business.
Ok, that’s fair. But seriously, what do you think it would be like if we could travel the multiverse?
Even if I’m willing to admit the multiverse even exists I don’t believe we could travel between the various parallel Earths. But also, why would you want to? You assume these universes are just these amazing benevolent places you can pop in and out of. Like going on vacation! I mean you could end up in a universe where oxygen doesn’t exist. Short trip for you.
But it could be so fun. You could see how little changes would make your life so much different. What would life be like if I grew up in Guam? What if had been a boy? What if I had blue eyes?
And you assume that would make life, what, better? What if you’re living in the best possible scenario? And exactly what would you get out of finding other universes could be better? Why would you want to know that? What’s that quote… comparison is the thief of joy?
You need to be more adventurous! It could be amazing. You could learn from your other selves! Plus me with blue eyes!
Ok but here is the real problem. Let’s pretend you’re totally right. We can just pop in and out of universes on a whim. Then why would we ever try to make our world a better place? Don’t like inequality and injustice? Just pop over to a world without it? Made a mistake, just kill your multiverse self that didn’t make that mistake and take over their lives.
Woah, now we are talking about clone killing.
I’m just saying, if I were offered the chance to step into another universe, I would decline that trip. But just know that my lack of adventurousness doesn’t keep me up at night. As opposed to your existential explorations into the multiverse!
Ok but next topic, is the universe even real? Are we in The Matrix?
Seriously? Oh my goodness…
***************************************I watched as Lynn undressed and crawled beneath the warm blankets. She batted her eyelashes at me and gestured for me to get into bed.I grinned and began to undress. I slipped under the covers and wrapped my body around hers. I began to kiss gently along her neck and my hands slid down her to breasts and continued to travel down to her hips.“Mmmm Rhea, I’m sleepy.”I smiled and kissed her on the forehead. I knew we had both had an exhausting day. And as much as I was in the mood to make love, my poor Lynn needed her beauty sleep.She set her glasses on the nightstand and murmured a sleepy goodnight.I asked, “Hey Lynn, do you ever wonder what if?”She huffed impatiently. She was used to these kinds of questions, but her exhaustion had worn down her usual patience.“Oh course I wonder what if! That’s just being human. I think everyone does that. The difference between you and me is that I don’t let it keep me up at night.”I envied her ability to just set her thoughts aside and sleep. She had always been the first person to fall asleep since we had been little and sharing her bed at sleepovers. Same thing in college as we’d try to fit into tiny college beds together. We both knew I’d be up for hours just thinking and she’d be passed out in minutes.“Honestly hun, has anyone ever told you that you think way too much?”I laughed and pulled her close to give her a goodnight kiss.“You. All the time!”She rolled over to look at me. She ran her fingers gently and lovingly through my hair.“Well babe, it’s true. I worry about you… you know if you’re unhappy, we can talk. We can switch things up. But I don’t think that you are. I think you’re doing what you do best which is being really hard on yourself. I love you and I think you’re wonderful just as you are. You don’t need to change or be something you’re not. Or live another life.”I knew she was right. I was being really hard on myself. But I also didn’t want to admit that she was right because I was too far entrenched in my own self-criticism to stop. Or maybe I was just stubborn.“You know I’m right, Rhea.”Lynn always spoke the truth, even when I didn’t want to hear it. And I always appreciated that about her. I just wish I could have believed what she said about being good enough.And on nights like tonight I had to remind myself that she was right. I was far too harsh on myself. I questioned every decision I ever made. I fantasized about other universes where I might be smarter, more interesting, and just… well…better...I laid awake that night waging an existential war on myself. Had I lived a good life? Was I making the right choices? Was I a good person? Is it even possible to know the answers to these questions? What’s the point of being here? Would I ever find the answers?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Hey. Hey, are you awake?”I awoke to strange whispering and gentle rhythmic shaking. As I opened my eyes and came to my senses, I realized I didn’t recognize the person above me whispering and rocking me.I jumped and grabbed the blankets for dear life. I guess in my state of fear, I thought about putting a barrier between me and the stranger. I grabbed my glasses quickly with trembling hands.Every horrific kidnapping and murder story flashed through my head at once. I glanced around the room looking for anything I could possibly use as a weapon.I screamed, “Who the hell are you? And more importantly, how did you get in my house and why the hell are you in my room?”I was finally able to push aside my initial fight or fight, and focus on him. He looked just as terrified as I was. He was incredibly tall with dirty wavy blonde hair, a beard of the same dirty blonde shade, and bright eyes. He was shaking like a leaf and fidgeting nervously.My breathing slowed and I began to calm myself down. This nervous man didn’t seem like much of a threat to me.He said, “Honestly I don’t know where I am. I don’t know how I got here. I just woke up next to you. I got out of bed and grabbed the first pair of pants I found. I’m sorry I scared you; I just didn’t know what to do.”“What do you mean you don’t know how you got here? You had to have come into my house somehow, right? Like, through the front door? Right?”But he just shook his head and said, “I don’t… I don’t know.”I had clearly never met this man before, and he had clearly never met me. Or at the very least, neither of us remembered meeting.But then, why was he here - mostly undressed and in my bed? That’s when it clicked.I blushed slightly, and said, “Did we, well, you know.”I made a circular gesture with my finger.His expression shifted from anxiety to complete confusion.I took a deep breath, and tried to explain.“Did we, you know, hook up? Like have sex? Last night?”The man suddenly burst into laughter and said, “How is this the universal sign for hooking up?”I laughed as I watched him make the same awkward hand motion.Through my laughter, I managed to choke out, “Listen you strange sexy blonde Eiffel Tower, I get to ask the questions around here! This is my room and my house!”I glanced around the room, just to make sure we actually were in my room. I turned back to the man, clad only in flannel pajama pants hovering awkwardly around my bed.“Back to you blondie. Do you know where my wife is? How could we have had a hot threesome and then she just dashed off to do errands? It just seems really unlikely. I mean, gosh I haven’t had group sex since college when we had a foursome with Tim and Gregg. That was a crazy night!”I squirmed, realizing I had probably just delivered this poor stranger a very awkward TMI.I added quietly, “Sorry. But really, you don’t remember last night at all? You don’t remember meeting me? Getting here? Having sex? None of it?”He shook his head.I gestured for him to sit down. I looked at him for a moment and tried to piece the situation together.This man’s anxiety and defensiveness led me to believe he wasn’t lying. Even through our laughter he just seemed scared.“Hey, it’ll be ok. My name is Lynn. What’s your name?”“Rhett.”“Ok Rhett, what do you last remember? What were you doing last night?”“I got home from work, browsed Twitter, and then went to sleep. Honestly nothing exciting about it at all.”I watched as he looked off for a moment deep in thought. He ran his fingers nervously through his hair and shook his head.He added, “I dropped off Link at his house after recording our podcast and went home. Jessie and the kids had already headed out to Yosemite for the week so the house was quiet. I don’t remember meeting you, and definitely don’t remember hooking up with you.”And then something occurred to me. I looked around the room and realized something about this situation was not fully adding up.“I changed my mind. I don’t actually think we hooked up.”He tilted his head in confusion and said, “Wait, how do you know?”“Your clothes aren’t here. I mean, all you have on is, well, Rhea’s pajama pants that you picked off the floor. I mean, if we had hooked up - your clothes should be here. And they’re not.”I paused and quickly added, “I mean, gosh you are my type though. Tall blondes are… like wow… holy smokes. I would be super lucky if we had hooked up. But I just don’t think we did.”He blushed and laughed while he told me I didn’t have to worry about hurting his feelings.He said, “You’re right though. If we hooked up, my clothes should be here.”He continued to gaze around the room taking the whole situation in and looking for clues.I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself. I don’t know if I would say I was a prude, but I at least wanted to maintain some slight modesty. Especially if I hadn’t hooked up with this man.“Well… Rhett? Can you at least toss me some clothes? I have a sneaking suspicion you haven’t actually seen me naked, and I do want to leave something to the imagination.”I pointed to the drawer and he began to riffle through it. He threw me a vintage Star Wars t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans.I squirmed awkwardly and said, “I uh, need some socks, undies, and a bra.”And I’m pretty sure at that moment we both turned the exact same shade of deep red. He threw me the first pair of underwear and a bra that he found.The black boy shorts and socks were fine, but I held up the size F bra and my own size B breasts and realized that this wasn’t going to work.“Oh wrong bra. That’s Rhea’s. Throw me the smaller one. Please.”I frowned and quickly added, “I’m petite, ok?”The man threw his arms up in defense and gave me a friendly smile.I looked at him and the pile of clothing on the bed, and quickly realized I was not graceful enough to change discreetly under the blankets.“Hey blondie, do you mind turning around so I can get changed?”He quickly turned his back to me, and I crawled out from under the blankets. I tried to change as quickly as I could.I had to admit, however, this outfit was actually pretty good and definitely something I might have chosen on a day I was feeling particularly cute. I threw on a pair of socks and felt pretty adorable.I looked up and said, “Ok, you can turn back around now.”But he didn’t. He just kept looking at the wall. He was staring hard at something as if trying to make sense of it. I followed his eyes to the poster on the wall. I realized he was staring at the promotional poster for our recently released book.I smiled proudly to myself.“Rhea and I just released our very first book. Can you believe I’m a published author? Isn’t that crazy?”I’m not sure what I was expecting at that moment. Praise? Questions? A “wow” would even sufficed. But he just continued to stare.I began fidgeting with my hands awkwardly and began to mutter, “I mean, it’s kinda a big deal. We made New York Times…”And he turned around and gave me such a stunned look that I stopped. He looked pale as a ghost and his hands were trembling.He stepped closer to me and asked, “You’re Lynn... Neal?”I stammered, “Uh yeah, I mean we have a morning show and you may have heard of us. Are you remembering something? We also do a podcast…”He shook his head in disbelief and began battering me with questions.“Lynn, where the hell is your wife? How do you not remember her leaving? Why would she have just left us? Wouldn’t one of us have woken up to her stirring in bed? I’m a light sleeper and I know for a fact I would have woken up! And why is all of her stuff still here?”I just stared in total disbelief. I looked around the bedroom and, to my horror, realized he was absolutely right. The more I considered this situation, the less it made sense.Rhea’s phone sat on the nightstand; she always left it on when she went to bed. Her black combat boots were still thrown in the corner from the night before. Even her keys and wallet were still on our dresser. I just knew there was no way my Twitter-obsessed love would have left the house without her dang phone.I began shouting for Rhea thinking maybe she was still in the house, but I got no response.He shook his head and said, “Don’t bother. She isn’t here.”I looked him up and down and shouted, “Well, where the hell is she?!”He began to run his fingers through his hair, and nervously said, “Probably in my room, panicking and wondering where the hell she is.”I looked at him with total disbelief and meekly asked, “What do you mean?”He sat on the bed, looked me in the eye, and said, “Lynn Neal, my name is Rhett McLaughlin. We need to talk.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It’s a strange experience waking up in a bed that isn’t yours. At first, you don’t realize anything is off. You’re wrapped in warm cozy blankets, body splayed on the bed, loving life.And then you slowly start to realize something is not quite right about the bed. Or maybe the pillows seem off. Or the light is shining in the wrong parts of the room. It’s like waking up in a hotel bed and, for a moment, not knowing quite where you are.At first I couldn’t quite wrap my head around my strange disorientation. In fact, when I reached out for Lynn and found she wasn’t there - I still just assumed she had woken up early and had been nice enough to let me sleep in. But something felt wrong.I opened my eyes slowly and looked around the room. As I blinked sleep out of my eyes, it took me a moment to realize that this wasn’t my room. In fact, I had never seen this room in my life.I threw off the blankets, and began desperately calling for Lynn, but I was only greeted with silence.Every worst case scenario flew through my head: Had I been kidnapped? Had I been drugged? Those seemed unlikely, but where was Lynn?I looked around the room for any kind of clue as to where I was.The room was beautifully decorated with photos and art adorning the walls. Whoever lived certainly had an artistic eye.And then I heard it - a light pitter patter on hardwood floor. I looked toward the door, and found a white fluffy dog, happily running toward me.I laughed at the utter absurdity of this friendly dog running in on me in this strange place. I picked her up and checked her tag. From this I was able to discern two vital pieces of information - the address of where I was, and that the dog’s name was Barbara.“Why hello, Barbara! It’s a pleasure to meet you. You know I have a cat named Barbara. She’s white and fluffy just like you! Barb, where am I and how did I get here?”Instead of an answer, I got a face full of wet dog kisses. She curled up on my chest, and looked as if she may actually take a nap on me.I knew I should probably be panicking about this situation, but honestly, how could I with this fluffy dog loving me?And that’s when I saw it - an oddly familiar book, proudly displayed on the dresser. I set Barbara aside, and got out of bed to get a better look.As I walked to the dresser, I realized I had forgotten to breathe. My hands shook, and my head swam as I picked the book up. I sat on the bed quickly, afraid that I might actually faint. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my stomach was in knots.Barbara clearly sensed something was terribly wrong, and began to lick and nuzzle my hand, as if to comfort me.But this book… I just couldn’t understand. Lynn and I had just released a book like this and it was even called Rhea and Lynn’s Book of Mythicality.I hesitated before opening it - not really sure I actually wanted to see this. But my curiosity got the best of me, and I began to flip through the pages with shaking hands. Everything here seemed strangely familiar and yet, very different.And then it began to dawn on me what had happened.But I couldn’t even begin to collect myself emotionally because, at that very moment, I heard the front door open. Barbara darted out of the room to greet the intruder.I heard a man’s voice shouting, “Rhett! RHETT! I’VE BEEN CALLING AND TEXTING FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES! WHERE ARE YOU?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I crawled under the blankets and, though shaking with fright, tried hard to stay very still. I was torn because on the one hand, this man might know what had happened to me. On the other hand, I had no idea who he was, or if he was dangerous.So I just hid, hoping he would leave after he got no response. But this was not to be. As I heard footsteps approaching the bedroom door I cringed in fear. He stepped in, and for a brief moment, we both just stared at one another in silence. I realized I was still clutching the book for dear life. I looked down at the cover, and back up at the man standing in the doorway. I was guessing from the cover that this man must be Link.But before I got a chance to confirm, he looked around the room and said “Ummm… where is Rhett?”“Who? I mean, I don’t know…honestly I don’t really remember how I got here. Or where here even is.”He glanced around the room in confusion. “What do you mean? Who are you? Did you guys… I don’t know… hook up?”I considered the question for a moment. I tried to recall everything from the night before.Lynn and I had been up late at the studio recording Ear Biscuits, and then we went home and ate dinner. After that, we had both gone to bed. I had a hard time falling asleep, but clearly I did eventually pass out. And that was the last memory I had before waking up in this room. However, given that I was totally naked, I could see why he would assume that this Rhett person and I had hooked up. But I shook my head no. “I’ve never met anyone named Rhett.” And then I remembered the book. I pointed at the hardcover and said, “Are you Link?”He nodded, and looked at me suspiciously. In a panicked voice I said, “I don’t think I belong here.”He replied, “In this house? I promise, I’m not going to be mad but... are you a Mythical Beast? Did you break in? I’m not mad, I just need to know.”The confusion on my face must have been enough for him to quickly disregard this theory. We both looked each other over and he said, “So why don’t you think you belong here?”I took and deep breath in and braced myself.“I think… I might have slipped into a parallel universe.”And Link reacted exactly as I expected him to - with loud, cackling laughter.“Oh, wow! This whole thing is absolutely amazing. You got me really good for a second there. RHETT! COME OUT! Seriously you guys, this is an amazing prank. I almost had a heart attack. Oh this is a good bit! RHETT, I GET IT, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW!”The house was silent. He looked at me, and realized I wasn’t laughing along with him. He quickly left the room calling for Rhett. After a few moments he came back and sat down. He had a stunned expression on his face. “This isn’t funny. The joke is over. Just stop messing with me.”I sighed and said, “What reason do I have to mess with you? I don’t even know you. If this is a practical joke, it’s being played on me as well. And you’re right - it’s not funny.”He shot me a look and said, “So you woke up here with absolutely no recollection of how you got here… and your first assumption is that you slipped into another dimension? Why the hell was that your first assumption?”“It wasn’t my first assumption at all. But look! Look at this book.”He looked at the book and back at me with pursed lips. “What does our book have to do with you slipping between dimensions?”“Because my wife and I wrote a similar book. It’s literally also called the Book of Mythicality! Her name is Lynn Neal and mine is Rhea McLaughlin.”He shook his head and made it very clearly he didn’t believe a word I said. “We have a morning show just like yours! It’s called Good Mythical Morning. Hell, we call our fans Mythical Beasts. I bet you also have a podcast called Ear Biscuits…”He shrugged and said, “You’re not telling me anything you couldn’t have found on Wikipedia. Tell me something that will actually convince me because so far, this still seems like a stupid and incredibly unfunny joke. And I’m getting a little pissed off.”I wracked my brain trying to think of anything that could possibly convince him. Because he was right. I had absolutely no evidence that what I was saying was true, and it did sound totally crazy. And then something caught my eye. I looked over to the nightstand, pointed, and said, “Is Rhett the kind of person to just leave his house without his phone?”Link’s eyes followed my finger. He look confused and shook his head. He said, “No, honestly he never leaves that thing anywhere. He’s basically addicted to Twitter.”“I bet his keys are here. And his shoes. And what about his car? Did he just walk out barefoot, keyless, and without his phone?”Link ran out of the bedroom frantically looking for these items. He came back and sat on the bed. “It’s all still here. I don’t understand.”He quickly scowled adding, “But that just means he’s missing. Not that you’ve switched places with him in time and space.”“Ok, ok! True. But what about Barbara?”He tilted his head and said, “What about Barbara?”I called for the dog to come in. She ran in and sat on my lap licking my face. I gave her some pets and she fell asleep.I pointed at the and said, “I’m not a dog person, but this isn’t how dogs generally react to strangers, right?”I could tell Link was mulling this over. He shook his head in disbelief and said, “So the dog likes you. It doesn’t prove crap.”And then I thought of it - the thing that might crush his skepticism.I leaned in and said in a hushed voice, “You recorded Ear Biscuits yesterday, didn’t you? It was about the multiverse and this very situation. There’s no way I could know that. You haven’t even edited the episode yet.”We sat there for a moment staring into each other’s eyes. His resemblance to Lynn was uncanny. Those blue sparkling eyes, the silver streaks through his dark hair, and even that forceful way he spit out the word “crap.”I could tell he was taking me in as well. He pushed a hair gently out of my eyes and just stared. “You do look so much like him. Your thick dirty blonde hair, the beauty mark above your lips, and your eyes…”We both leaned away from one another and began having individual meltdowns.“Well, what do we do now? How does something like this even happen?! What the hell is going on? How do we get you switched back?”I shouted, “I have no fucking idea!”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I crossed my arms in frustration and paced across the room. What this man was standing in my room blathering on about was absurd and, more importantly, completely and utterly impossible.“I’m sorry. You’re telling me that the multiverse theory we discussed yesterday on our podcast is not only real but somehow you and Rhea have switched places. And you expect me to believe this? Seriously?”I sat on the bed and shook my head in disbelief.”I’m sorry, this is just a lot to take in.”Rhett sat down next to me and sighed.He said, “I just can’t think of any other possible explanation. I mean, your names, the fact you have a morning show called Good Mythical Morning, and… I mean… gosh, you look like you could be Link’s twin sister. It’s amazing.”My finger began to sting and I realized I had been nervously twisting my wedding ring so hard that it has begun cutting into me.“How are you so calm? We just discovered that not only are there multiple universes, but that we can travel between them. That the very fabric of the universe is unstable. This is un-fucking-believable.”And then I thought about what he said about me looking like Link. I looked over at him and really took him in. His resemblance to my wife was astonishing.“You really do look so much like Rhea. You’re tall, you have that same thick wavy blonde hair, and your eyes… I’ve never seen anyone with that eye color. Except, of course, Rhea.”I reached my hand out to him hesitantly, almost as if he wasn’t quite real. Something about him just drew me in. He nodded his consent and I ran my fingers through his hair.“But she has the cutest beauty mark right here,” I remarked tracing my finger to a spot just above his lip.By Rhett’s smile and blush, I could tell they shared this trait as well.I was overwhelmed with a sudden desire to keep going - to keep touching - to discover all of his secrets. I wondered if his back was covered in adorable freckles like hers. If he had patches of psoriasis like the ones Rhea was sometimes embarrassed of. I wondered if his back ever ached and if he laughed with his whole body.He was also glancing me over with the same desirous look in his eyes.“You just look so much like him. Your dark hair, gosh, even the silver streaks. And those beautiful blue eyes…”He reached out and put his hand on my knee. My heart immediately began to race and all I wanted was for him to keep it there.I couldn’t understand why I craved this stranger’s touch and comfort so much. Was it just the need for support during this crazy situation? Or was it that he reminded me so much of Rhea that my signals were becoming mixed? Just as my heart began to flutter, I was brought back to reality with a phone call from Stevie.“Crap,” I said quickly picking up the phone.
Hey Stevie!
Hey Lynn. Just wanted to check in and see if you’d be in today.
I’ll be in soon! It’s been a really weird morning.
Is everything ok? Is Rhea ok?
Oh yes! Don’t worry. It’s a really long story and I’ll explain everything when I get there.
Is Rhea… ya know… sick?
No…I promise to explain the best I can when I come in, ok?
Sure thing! When do you think you’ll be coming in?
At this point I looked over at Rhett wearing nothing but Rhea’s pajama pants.
Gimme, maybe, two hours? I have to take care of something here first, but I promise everyone is fine. Oh, and don’t tell anyone I’m coming in, ok?
Sure! Just text me when you get here. You sure everything is ok?
I promise!
I hung up and sighed. I noticed Rhett staring at me with a wild and bright-eyed excitement.“You have a Stevie too?”“Yes, she’s like our little sister. I don’t know what we would do without her.”Rhett nodded and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back when I saw that familiar mischievous grin.And then I remembered the problem at hand. Not that I didn’t appreciate having a sexy and barely dressed man in my house - especially one that was so completely my type. But bringing said sexy and barely dressed man out in public might prove to be an issue.I looked him over and said, “Welp, I guess we have to make you presentable. Not that I’m not super into this look.”I began to dig through my clothing and realized pretty quickly that, even at five foot eleven, nothing I owned was going to fit him. So I began to look through Rhea’s clothing. I pulled out one of her large “comfy sweaters” as she called them and hoped he would be able to squeeze in.I threw it over and him and remarked, “I really hope you like cacti!”He caught the sweater and looked at it with a smile. He grinned, put it on and said, “This is perfect. I love it.”I knew then that as challenging as finding a shirt was, pants were going to be next to impossible.I held a pair of Rhea’s jeans up and said, “I think you’re going to have to accept you’re rockin’ wide-hipped capris today.”I paused and realized he was missing something important. I blushed and rummaged through Rhea’s drawer and silently thanked God that she was androgynous as hell. I threw a pair of boxers at him.“I know this is awkward but, to be honest, this whole thing is awkward. And it’s probably only going to get more awkward.”Rhett nodded and said, “I’m pretty used to awkward.”I left the room to give him privacy. I smiled as I watched our two cats napping. They were somehow oblivious to the strange changes in the universe. Or maybe they just didn’t mind.I walked over to our white fluffy ragdoll and began to snuggle and kiss her. Of the two cats, she was always the more friendly. I picked Barbara up and cradled her in my arms.Rhett came out looking absolutely ridiculous. The pants were short and the waist was too loose, making the pants sag. The sweater that was oversized on Rhea looked like it just barely fit Rhett. And of course, he had no socks or shoes.He came over and watched me pet the cat. From his hesitant reaction I could already tell he wasn’t a huge fan of felines. But since he was going to be here for at least a little while, I thought I’d at make introductions.“Barbara, this is Rhett. Rhett, this is Barbara.”His eyes lit up and said, “Did you say Barbara?”His total attitude shifted as he gently lifted the cat out of my arm and snuggled her closely. He cooed her and she began to loudly purr. I wasn’t the only one in the house that had made an instant attachment to this strange man.“I would have guessed that you didn’t like cats!”He used a baby voice and said, “I don’t like cats! In fact I hate kitty kitties. But this is Barb and I love her no matter what universe I end up in! Even if she is an evil no-good kitty who would eat me the second I died.”He looked up and me and said, “My dog is named Barbara and she’s practically my daughter. I love her probably more than anyone should actually love a dog.”He pointed over to the black cat sleeping in the windowsill and asked, “Just out of curiosity - is that Jade?”“Yeah! Wow. How did you know?”“Well, that’s Link’s dog. So I figured any universe with a Barbara must have a Jade.”I knew shoes would be impossible, so I tossed Rhett a pair of slippers and we finally managed to get out the door.As soon as Rhett got into the passenger seat of the car, he immediately adjusted the seat back. Usually Rhea did the driving, and though I wasn’t short by any means, I didn’t have long ass spider legs like they did.Unfortunately it ended up taking us forever to find clothing. And to make matters worse, this giant man in tiny pants sporting slippers instead of shoes garnered some laughs and stares. But honestly, who could blame them? I could barely contain my own laughter looking at his ridiculousness.After shopping we realized we were both starving for lunch. So I decided to take him to Rhea’s favorite diner in town.I thought being in this familiar place would give me some sense of grounding. But it did quite the opposite. Everything in this place reminded me of her. This was supposed to be her sitting across from me nibbling on cheese fries and reminding me she wasn’t supposed to be eating dairy. Not Rhett.I felt the room begin to spin as the gravity of the situation hit me. I had no idea when I’d ever see her beautiful smiling face again. Or if I’d see her beautiful smiling again. My heart dropped and I felt sick to my stomach.I missed everything about her. The way she smelled like she had just taken a hike in a pine forest. The way her eyes lit up whenever she talked about one of her layers. Or how she would cry at the drop of a hat but then declare that she wasn’t emotional.I looked over at Rhett, and more than anything I wanted him to comfort me like she would have. She would have let me snuggle against her. She would have held me tight and told me it was ok to be sad. She would have taken care of me.But I also felt guilty about this desire. He was probably just as upset as I was and missed his loved ones too. Who was I to demand the comfort of a stranger?So we sat there in silence. The waitress must have sensed something was off because even she, who was normally talkative, was quieter than usual.When the food arrived, I began to absently pick the tomatoes off. I felt Rhett’s intense stare and our eyes met. He had silent tears forming in the corner of his eyes.I reached across the table and took his hand.“I’m so sorry this is happening to you. To me. To us. But we are in this together. I promise. And I’m sure wherever Rhea and Link are, they’re also trying to figure this out.”I wiped the tears that had begun to form in my own eyes. I’m not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself that this would be ok, but either way, i figured I’d at least try to lift the mood. I pointed to my salad and said, “Seriously do you want my tomatoes? These red little garden gremlins don’t belong in my salad.”He laughed and wiped the tears out of his eyes. He playfully snatched the tomatoes off of my plate and said, “It figures.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I watched nervously as Link angrily paced the room.I stayed huddled under the blankets trying to avoid his wrath.I said, “This isn’t my fault, you know. I didn’t ask to be here.”He stopped pacing and sat on the end of the bed. He buried his head in his hands and sighed. He took a large breath and mumbled, “Listen, I know this isn’t your fault. I’m just… upset. Really upset.”I sneered at him and spat, “You think I’m not upset? I might never go home again! The only person who has been nice to me in this universe is the fucking dog. And I might never see my wife, the love of my life, ever again! So yeah, I’m fucking upset too!”And we probably would have continued screaming at one another if we hadn’t noticed the phone flashing. It showed two missed calls from a person named “Jessie.”“Who’s Jessie?”Link snatched the phone from me quickly and answered it.He put the phone on speakerphone and put his finger to his lips.I silently mouthed, “Well no shit!”
Hey hun! You didn’t text me back and…
Hey Jessie! It’s Link!
Oh...um, hi Link. Can you give the phone to Rhett?
He’s not feeling good. He’s…lost his voice. But I have him on speakerphone and…
Wait? He’s sick? Should we come home?
NO! No! You know how Rhett is. He’s just being overly dramatic. But I’m sure he’ll be fine soon. No need to cut anything short, ok?
Well, ok. Tell him to text me then. I’m worried.
Yep! He promises he’ll text you back and he’s very sorry.
I shot him a confused look which he promptly ignored.
Tell Christy and the kids I love her! Bye!
Link hung up and let out an exasperated sigh. He muttered, “Gosh, I hate lying.”“Who is Jessie? And how exactly is Rhett going to be texting her?”“Well, she’s your future wife if we can’t figure out how to switch you back. And as for texting, well, I figured…”“So you want me to text future wife pretending to be Rhett? This seems like a really bad idea.”“What’s the alternative? If she gets suspiciou, she’ll haul my wife and all of our kids back from Yosemite and find you in her house. And then what?”I sarcastically shot back, “I’m quite the catch, you know!”He rolled his eyes and said, “I have no doubt that you are, but future wife doesn’t like women, so have fun with that. Also I’m pretty sure she’ll miss her husband, as obnoxious as he is.”I breathed to try to calm myself down. I realized that he had a legitimate point. It was probably better that I fake being Rhett, assuming we were anything alike, until we could at least figure out what was going on. We definitely didn’t need to be adding two more adults and lord knows how many children into an already chaotic situation.I watched as Link walked over to grab a sheet of paper and jotted something down. He handed it over to me, and I realized it was the password to Rhett’s phone.“Do I even want to know why you have this?”“We have an unconventional friendship...ok fine, I looked over at him a couple times when he put in his password.”“A couple of times? And memorized it?”“Well, aren’t you glad I did? In case if a situation like this one…”“You were anticipating a situation like this one?”He shook his head and I threw my hands up in defense. Maybe they did have an unconventional friendship, and it was probably not the time to open that can of worms.I suddenly realized I was still laying in bed naked.“Link, why don’t you wait downstairs. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed. And then we can go back to trying to figure this out.”He nodded and left the bedroom. I found the bathroom and hesitantly turned the unfamiliar knobs. I managed to only burn my hand a little as I adjusted the heat.I washed myself down with what I could only assume were Rhett’s shampoo and body wash - at least they appeared to be the more masculine of the shower products I found.I finished up in the shower and started looking for clothing. It took a lot of rummaging through drawers and closets to find clothing that would actually fit. All of the women’s clothing was far too small, and all of the men’s clothing was far too large. In the end, I chose the larger option and hoped for the best.I began towel-drying my hair and realized that without product, it was going to be a wavy mess. I glanced at myself in the mirror and I realized how ridiculous I looked with my wild hair, oversized sweater, rolled up jeans, and bare feet.I was trying to style my hair with some pomade I found. I called Link in. He paused in the doorway and looked me over and gasped.“That bad?”“No. Not at all. You just look so much like Rhett. And with his clothing? Wow…”I blushed and began to wonder if that was supposed to be a compliment when my stomach loudly rumbling interrupted the conversation.He burst out laughing. He seemed to have calmed down quite a bit from our initial tense moments.He said, “I’m actually becoming more convinced of this parallel dimensions situation by the minute. Which gives me an idea. How about I grab lunch and you figure out how to get home?”I nodded and watched him walk out the door. I plopped on the couch and called Barbara to me.“Honestly Barb, you’re amazing. You’re nice to me no matter what. I don’t even like dogs but you’re different, Barbara!”I began to research parallel dimensions, but it didn’t get me very far. According to every theoretical physicist, what had happened to me was impossible. Even the most generous scientists theorized that we may someday be able to travel among dimensions - you know - in a very distant future.But I knew all of this. I knew everything I was going to find because I had just done all the research for Ear Biscuits. I was just so desperate for an answer or a solution that I figured if I just dug deep enough I would find it.An hour had passed when I heard the door open and Link came waltzing in. He held the bags behind his back and grinned ear to ear as if he had a huge surprise.So when he held out a McDonald’s bag I was confused about why this had been such a big deal. I mean, my universe definitely had McDonald’s.But then I opened up the bag and saw it. A perfectly delicious McRib in its full glory.My mouth dropped and Link began to laugh.“I haven’t had one of these in years! They were discontinued and I missed them so much.”I snatched the sandwich from him and took a bite. I moaned in ecstasy.Link snorted, “Ok, it’s not that good! Goodness gracious.”I pointed at him with the sandwich and said, “You, Link Neal, are objectively wrong.”He sat next to me on the couch and we finished eating in mostly silence.“I told Stevie I probably wouldn’t be coming in today. I told her you… I mean Rhett was sick.”“Well, just so you know, Jessie keeps texting me. I don’t think she’s suspicious.”Link fidgeted nervously.“I swear if they get divorced… ““Divorced? Rhett should thank me for being so thoughtful and loving. I’ve probably reinvigorated their marriage!”Link suddenly asked, “What if Jessie wants a selfie?”I said, “Well, I actually considered this issue and, lucky for us, I have a million selfies of my boyish counterpart right here. And a ton of them are shirtless for some reason…”I laughed and shoved the phone in Link’s face.“Wow. I mean, point taken. Damn.”“Seriously your bff is good at the selfie game. I modeled and it’s not easy to look this good!”Link started at me with a stunned expression, “You were a model?”“Briefly! I mean, when you’re a 6 foot 2 woman it’s almost expected.”Link nodded and added, “Like being a tall man and playing basketball. Basically Rhett’s life.”“Exactly!We sat awkwardly looking at one another as if trying to figure out exactly what we were supposed to be doing.“Well, I researched interdimensional travel and… according to science it’s not possible. But obviously it is, because I’m here.”“So in other words you have no answers. And neither does anyone else.”He began to rub his temples in frustration.He said, “I don’t think I can process this right now to be honest. I just... I can’t believe any of this is happening.”I shouted, “You think I’m excited about this? I’d like to go home as much as you’d like me out of your hair.”He glared at me.There were moments when I felt like Link and I were finally getting along, but then we’d somehow end up bickering again. I wanted so badly to get along with him because in so many ways he was just like Lynn. But any time I felt like we were creating a connection, I felt him shoving me away.And I wish could say I had taken the high road. But I didn’t. I just wanted this guy out of my life as quickly as possible.I stood up and announced, “Maybe this is just a fluke. I mean, maybe I’ll fall asleep tonight and wake up back home tomorrow.”I started to herd Link toward the door.He said, “It’s as possible as anything else. And in that case I’ll call Stevie and let her know I actually will be in soon.”I looked at him curiously and said, “You have a Stevie too?”I instantly regretted that I had decided to kick him out because I suddenly had so many questions.“Sure do! And she’s going to be thrilled I can come in. I’ll just tell her Rhett is, well, like you said, Rhett is sick.”But he seemed as eager to leave as I had been to get him out.Link got ready to leave and looked back to me to say, “If you need anything, text me. Feel free to eat whatever and binge watch… well, whatever you’re into. And I hope you wake up tomorrow in your own bed. It was nice meeting you!”He closed the door and I mumbled to myself, “Liar.”For the rest of the day I mostly just sulked around the house, snuggled with Barbara and texted Jessie. But eventually even Jessie had to go to sleep and Barb was doing her own thing.Then I was completely alone.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I curled under the blankets of Rhett’s bed. The was so big, cold, and empty. And I was so lonely without Lynn. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had slept without her. I found myself clinging to one side of the bed and reaching out for my absent wife.And I cried. I cried until I thought I couldn’t physically cry anymore and then cried more. I was so alone, so scared, and I felt abandoned in a strange place where nobody wanted me.Link had acted like I was such a nuisance, just a problem he couldn’t solve. I hadn’t asked to be here and I would happily be home with people who actually loved me instead of being stuck here with someone who thought of me as a burden. Even worse, a someone who resembled my wife who actually loved me. It set off every emotional trigger I had.I kept hoping against all hope that this had just been a terrible dream and I would wake up any minute now. Lynn would hold me, comfort me, and run her fingers through my hair. But this wasn’t just a simple nightmare.And worst of all, I had wanted this. Well, kinda. I was the one who had always dreamed of what it would be like to start over and have a brand new life. To travel to another universe and explore without consequence.And now that I was here, all I wanted to do was go home.I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard the door open. A glance at Rhett’s cellphone told me it was almost one in the morning.“Rhea, are you there? It’s Link!”For a moment I considered not answering. After all, fuck him for leaving me. But I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself.He said, “Rhea, I’m sorry. I messed up!”I sighed and shouted, “I’m in here!”Link came into the room and sat on the bed.He said, “I’ve been thinking about you all night. And I just wanted to apologize for being so crappy today. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared. And I was wrong. I should have stayed here with you. I should have listened to the information you found. I was a jerk. I guess I just ran scared. I just don’t know what to do, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m not like this. This really isn’t me!”I fidgeted uncomfortably, not knowing what to say or do.I said,“It’s ok.”“No Rhea, it’s not ok. If Lynn treated Rhett the way I have treated you, I’d... be really upset. It’s not fair and you didn’t ask for this. It’s neither of our faults that this happened. And maybe God or the universe brought us together for a reason. Please accept my apology and maybe we can just… start over? I brought Jade and I’m more than happy to sleep on the couch tonight so you don’t have to be in the house alone.”I realized I had begun to cry. He held me tightly and wiped away my tears.I said, “Will you stay here? I mean, not on the couch. Here? In the bed?”Link considered the proposition for a moment and nodded. He left to change into pajamas and when he came back, he crawled into bed with me. Even though it wasn’t Lynn, it felt so nice having another human in the bed with me.Before I fell asleep I whispered, “So you have a Jade too?”He grunted and told me to go to sleep.That night I tossed and turned in that unfamiliar bed. All of the worst case scenarios played in my head. I worried about what would happen if I was stuck here. How would my life continue? Could I adapt to this?And when I did fall asleep, I had nothing but nightmares. I kept waking up in terror and reaching out for Lynn only to find Link. In my sleep-deprived state, it was a huge mental mindfuck.I woke up and slowly opened my eyes, praying for a miracle. The room was bright with sunlight and for a moment everything was ok. But then I began to look around and realized I was still in Rhett’s room.I was hit with a wave of despair. And to make matters worse, I was once again alone.Of course Link had abandoned me. He had only come back over last night because he felt guilty, not because he was actually sorry. And he left the minute it was convenient. I was so stupid to have trusted him.Barbara scampered into the room happily wagging her tail.“Sorry Barb, it’s not your papa. Just me.”She jumped on the bed and proceeded to cover me in wet dog kisses. Clearly it didn’t matter to her that I wasn’t Rhett.Then I noticed the handwritten note next to the bed.
Rhea -
Had to grab some stuff from the office. Will be back soon. Bagels in kitchen and cream cheese in fridge. Also cereal. Whatever you’re into.
Link
My hands began to shake and I felt tears threatening to bubble to the surface when I heard the door open.“Rhea? Are you still here?”I wiped away my tears and greeted Link in the kitchen. I silently threw my arms around him and held him tight.“Well good morning to you as well! Wait, have you been crying?”Instead of answering him I just squeezed him tighter.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Rhett and I got into the office, I quietly shut the door and sat at my desk. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I hadn’t the faintest clue how I was going to explain this situation to Stevie. Or if the situation was explainable at all.Stevie quietly slid into the office and sat down. The room was thick with the kind of atmospheric tension that precedes a storm.I noticed that Rhett couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. But she was clearly too confused and worried to notice his burning gaze.“Lynn, are you ok? What is going on? Where is Rhea? Is she ok because she hasn’t texted me back all morning and that’s not like her at all? I’m just worried because last time this happened… well you know.”“She’s ok. I mean, I think.”Her jaw dropped and she stammered, “What do you mean you think? What the hell is going on?”I pointed to Rhett and admitted, “I’m not really sure how else to explain this.”She looked him up and down in confusion and looked back at me.“Is this like, Rhea’s brother? No, that can’t be right. I’ve met Rhea’s brother and…”Rhett gestured to my desk and said, “Stevie, you might want to sit because what we are about to tell you is going to sound crazy. And honestly, it is crazy.”But she didn’t move. She looked him up and down suspiciously.“I don’t get it. Who the hell are you and where is Rhea?”I sighed and rehashed Rhett’s theory. I went over the details- Rhett and Rhea had somehow switched universes. In his universe, he and his best friend had written their own version of the Book of Mythicality. Then of course there were the similar names, appearances, and pets. And finally the similar morning shows.“Hell, we even all grew up in the same rural North Carolina town. And trust me, if we had coexisted, we would have known about it.”“And what if he’s lying to you? I mean, has he told you anything he couldn’t have easily found out elsewhere?”I looked over at Rhett as his eyes darted between us. He was anxiously chewing his nails.I said, “He could be lying, but he’s not.”She crossed her arms and said, “How do you know?”“Just look at him Stevie. Look! You can’t fake the nervous ticks! The mischievous sparkle. That restless mind! That is frickin Rhea.”Rhett glanced at me with a touch of annoyance.I said, ”Ok, I mean he’s not exactly Rhea. He’s just his universe’s version of her. I know it doesn’t make sense but just, trust me? Please?”“I swear to God, Lynn, if this is a practical joke it - it isn’t funny. At all!”“Do I look like I’m joking?”She sat for a moment thinking before she answered.“No. And that’s what’s scaring me the most about this whole thing. He looks so much like Rhea. Like so much. It’s kinda eerie.”He scoffed, “I’m literally right here!”I said, “I’m sorry Rhett. Stevie and I don’t mean to be rude. This is just overwhelming… obviously.”He sighed and shook his head.Stevie nervously ran her fingers through her hair. I realized that without answers, we were just going to become more and more pissed off with one another. And frankly, I needed an emotional break from this insanity.I said, “Stevie, I just need some time. I’m going to work on cleaning out my inbox and possibly editing some episodes. Just a chance to give my brain a rest.”As she went to walk out, I added, “Can you keep this on the down low? Just keep everyone out of here. The last thing I need is to explain this to our entire crew and create a panic.”Steve nodded in agreement and quietly closed the door.And though it went much better than I thought it would, my hands still shook and my head was pounding from an anxiety-induced headache.I looked over at Rhett and couldn’t help but stare.I blushed as his eyes met mine.I said, “I’m sorry about staring. And I’m really sorry about the awkward position you’re in.”He nodded and said, “I’m just exhausted, you know?”And truth be told, so was I. This morning had managed to feel like an entire week. I was tired, my head was throbbing, and all I wanted to do was throw myself into Rhea’s arms. She would know what to do.I looked over at Rhett and said, “I know it’s not ideal but, if you want, I have blankets and a pillow in here. You might be able to squeeze in a quick nap.”I handed him the beautifully crafted quilt and pillow that a Mythical Beast had once sent us. I watched as he curled up on the floor and closed his eyes.For the first time all day I was truly alone in my thoughts. The silence hit me with the force of a sledgehammer. I left the room and locked myself in the bathroom to cry.My thoughts kept racing. What if I never saw Rhea again? Was she ok? And what was I supposed to do with Rhett? I worried that she was scared or alone. Was Link being nice to her? Was her back in pain? Would Link know what to do if it began to ache? Would he make sure she didn’t eat dairy?Brimming with anxiety, I bent over the toilet and began throwing up.I cleaned myself up in the sink and tried to splash cold water on my face to disguise my tears. I got a look at myself in the mirror and realized I looked as terrible as I felt. I tried to fake a brave face when I heard a gentle knock. I remained silent, hopeful they would just move on.And then I heard the most gentle and kind voice say, “Lynn? Are you ok? I heard you throw up. I can call Rhea.”Through my tears I had to smile. Chelsea must have seen me go into bathroom. Hearing her be so concerned about my well-being warmed my heart. She was an amazing crew member with a heart of gold.”I’ll be fine! Just ate something that disagreed with me. Thanks Chels.”I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the outside world. When I opened the bathroom door, I immediately had arms thrown around me.Chelsea and I stood there in the hall hugging for a moment before I said, “I’m fine! I’m just in the office adding some notes to editing. Don’t let anyone else know I’m here, ok? I need quiet.”She nodded and I walked back to the office.I tried to be quiet though I seriously doubted that Rhett was actually sleeping. I looked over at him and just found myself staring at him. He was just so beautiful. I was blown away.His eyes opened slowly and he began to sit up. I turned quickly to look back at my computer, hoping he hadn’t caught me gazing.”Can’t sleep?”He sat up, frowned, and shook his head. He made his way over to Rhea’s desk and sat. For a while we were just silent. I was trying to go through my emails but was a little too shaken to focus on anything properly. It didn’t help that I kept looking back over at Rhett - who I would find looking back at me curiously.I asked, “Hey Rhett, do you want to help?”When he squeezed next to me, I couldn’t help notice how wonderful he smelled - something dark and musky. His body radiated a comforting warmth that almost compelled me to move closer. I found myself stuttering and at a loss for words.”So... we just filmed this episode for Christmas. It’s an ugly sweater runway competition. And, ummmm, this is the raw footage and I’m trying to figure out which segments… ya know, work?”I silently cursed myself for being so socially awkward, but he didn’t really seem to notice.We watched the unedited version and I saw Rhett’s eyes light up as Rhea came on the screen.He said, ”Can you pause it for a minute?”He ran his fingers through his hair and began to mutter how weird this whole thing was.He said, “I know that Rhea is real...obviously. But seeing her? It’s just… it’s so weird.”All I could do was nod. I had felt strange enough looking at this man who could have been my wife’s twin brother. I couldn’t imagine being in his place and basically looking at your doppelgänger.I asked, “Are you ok, Rhett?”He turned to face me and our noses practically brushed. I felt my heart racing and told myself to calm down. Yes, I had a slight - scratch that - major crush on this sexy tall glass of water sitting next to me, but this wasn’t the time nor the place. Plus, if I only had a crush on him because he reminded me of Rhea, it felt unfair to him. And me.As my thoughts raced, he began to talk.“You remind me so much of my Link. Honestly I keep finding myself staring at you. You’re so strangely familiar.”He reached up and pushed a stray hair out of my eyes. My heart pounded in my chest. I considered for a stupid moment just locking lips with him - just once. I wondered if he tasted like Rhea.Instead something stupid came out of my mouth.“Yeah? Is Link also this charming, good looking, and brilliant?!”He batted his eyelashes and winked at me.And then to make it even more I punched him in the shoulder playfully and asked, “Honestly, how does Link put up with you?”He looked off thoughtfully and said, “He usually just ignores me.”I laughed and said, “Isn’t that what boyfriends are for?”He began to blush and looked down and mumbled something.“What did you say?”“Link isn’t my boyfriend. He’s just my friend.”My jaw must have dropped and I began to apologize. I was overcome with embarrassment at my assumption.But he just shrugged and told me that most people assume that since they’re so close.“Hell, we are basically married. We even bicker like an old married couple. But we have wives. Different wives I mean.”I sensed something else was going on here. He seemed, well, slightly sad about telling me this. But I also had gotten the impression that he was very much in love with his wife. I had just assumed Link was his boyfriend too. I began to think how complicated love was when the door flew open.We both gasped.“Hey Lynn, I was just really worried about you earlier and…”Chelsea looked between the two of us with an expression of confusion on her face. Rhett starred with an equal amount of befuddlement at the young woman standing in the room.I sighed and put my head in my hands. So much for keeping this situation on the down low.Rhett stood up and approached Chelsea as if trying to figure out who she was. I looked between them curiosity and finally asked, “Do you have a Chelsea on your crew?”Chelsea was absolutely beloved by everyone - the crew and Mythical Beasts alike. In fact, it was a safe bet that she was likely the Mythical Beasts favorite crew member. She was known for dressing up in ridiculous costumes - especially around the holiday season.And she was adorable. She stood at five foot if we were being generous and she was wearing heels. She kept her long chestnut hair in a braid down her back, and her beautiful brown eyes could light up any room she walked into.Rhett suddenly asked, “Chelsea, what is your last name?”“Hilt.”In a flash I watched as Rhett picked Chelsea up and spun in her in pure excitement. When he set her down he gave her a huge loving hug.He said, “Of course you’re here! Oh my gosh, of course! Oh I feel so much better knowing you exist in this world!”She was practically glowing and who could blame her?She giggled, “Well it’s nice to meet you too.”So once again, I found myself explaining this ridiculous situation.“Very long and cosmically complicated story short, Rhett is not from our universe. He’s like, his universe’s version of Rhea. We assume Rhea is over in his universe. We have no idea how to solve this and no idea why it happened.”Rhett said, “I know it’s a lot. We’ve been processing it all morning and are still both in shock.”Chelsea just nodded, taking it all in. Chelsea was pretty unshakeable so I wasn’t surprised by her nonchalance over the whole thing.Stevie then ran into the office panting. She looked at Chelsea and then back at me and said, “I’m sorry! I tried to stop her but…”“It’s fine. We are all on the same page now.”Her jaw dropped and she said, “You told her?”Chelsea shrugged and said, “It’s not really a big deal.”Everyone in the room slowly turned and stared in utter astonishment.“What? I mean shit happens. Don’t you guys watch Doctor Who?”Rhett burst out laughing and threw his arms around her.“Chase would love you!”Rhett, with his arm still wrapped around tiny Chelsea, looked around at us all and smiled.“Well, I have to say, if I was ever going to pick a dream team for helping to solve this dilemma, it would be Link, Stevie, and Chase. If anyone can figure out this mess, it’s definitely us. Stevie - if you’re anything like my Stevie - you’re the mastermind behind all operations. Chelsea - if you’re like Chase - I know you’ll handle any challenge thrown your way with style.”And then he walked over to me and took my hands.“And if you, Lynn Neal, if you are anything like my best friend, you’d go to hell and back for Rhea. You’ll do whatever you can to solve this. Because whenever shit hit the fan, Link and I have always been able to figure it out. Always! So as far as I’m concerned, we’ve got this in the bag.”I told Stevie to go and keep the office going as smoothly as possible. I asked Chelsea if she could covertly do some research on interdimensional travel, and explained that Rhett and I were going to work on dealing with, well, all of this.It had been a couple of hours since we had gotten into the office, and I realized I just couldn’t work anymore on this. My brain was just no longer functioning. I rubbed my temples in frustration and realized I had no more energy.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When we arrived back at the house, we were greeted with darkness and two very needy and vocal cats.He said, “The house is so quiet without kids.”My heart dropped in my chest. I knew he had meant nothing by it, but hearing that comment broke my heart. I took slow, calming, centering breaths.Rhett saw my reaction and gently took my hand.“I’m sorry I made that comment about a quiet house. That was really rude and thoughtless of me. I mean, I barely know you. Even though it feels like I’ve known you… forever.”I said, “It’s ok. You didn’t know. How could you possibly know? And I know you didn’t intend to hurt my feelings and…”He shook his head and interrupted me, “No. I was wrong. I messed up and I’m sorry. Forgive me?”I sighed and nodded. Then I noticed that sad look in his eyes and realized how worried he must be about his own children.I asked, “Do you miss your kiddos?”He nodded and explained, “Jessie, my wife, went on vacation with Link’s wife. They took the kids with them. And now I’m worried I won’t be back before they are. I don’t want her to worry about me, you know? And the kids? I’d be lost without them.”I said, “Well, it looks like we will have to make sure their dad returns to them safe and sound?”He nodded and I smiled.I began turning on all the lights and realized we actually had some time to kill before bed.I said, “Well hey, let's try to get our minds off of our current personal tragedies. We can have a date night… I mean...well, not a date… you know what I mean. I’ll order pizza and we can hang out. Sound good?”He laughed and agreed to the plan. I went to work cooking one of the only things I really knew how to - spaghetti and sauce.Of course, Rhett still had to tell me when the water was boiling. And then I made him check the pasta to make sure I had cooked it long enough. And then he put the sauce on.Ok, scratch all of that. Rhett cooked dinner and I happily took the all the credit. But hey, our pasta turned out great and that’s all that matters.I looked over at Rhett and asked if he would want to watch some of our episodes of Good Mythical Morning.“Definitely! What are some of your favorites?”I carefully considered the question. I wasn’t really ever sure what to say when people asked. After more than 1200 episodes, there were so many I remember fondly that I couldn’t even narrow them down to a handful.So instead I pulled up some of our most watched episodes and sat next to Rhett. It was a surreal experience to watch these while sitting next to Rhea’s counterpart. In fact, it was a bit like seeing these episodes with totally fresh eyes.I found myself laughing along at the ridiculous banter, the bickering, and the long running jokes. I smiled whenever Rhea lit up the screen with her excitement over food or that wicked grin she got when she was about to start a rant.Rhett looked over and said, “You two are so natural together. Your chemistry is amazing and beautiful to watch. You’re both so funny, silly, and you clearly love each other.”“Well aren’t you and Link like that?”His smile faded and he said, “Yeah, but…it’s just different.”The topic of Link seemed like a complex and touchy subject for Rhett and I was genuinely curious to know why. I wondered how Rhea and my story had so drastically diverged from Rhett and Link’s.He said, “You are both so in love.”I smiled and nodded. How could I explain to him what it meant to love the same person since elementary school? To have imagined you’d marry her ever since you were old enough to imagine such things. But then again, maybe he knew exactly how I felt...I held back tears and said, “What if I never see her again?”Rhett pulled me into his chest and said, “You will! We will figure this out.”I took a moment and just let him hold me. We shared a strange grief that locked us together. And his touch was gentle and comforting - exactly what I needed as I barely held it together.He kissed me tenderly on the forehead. I looked up into those beautiful gray eyes and felt an urge to bring him in for a real kiss. My heart raced and I stared at those gorgeous lips. But I refrained.Instead I tried to distract myself. I grabbed my knitting and plopped back onto the couch. I began stitching away on a pair of gloves I had been making for Stevie, trying to frantically push away my thoughts of Rhett.He was watching me with total fascination.“Grab a ball of yarn, some needles, and come over. I’ll show you how it’s done!”Rhea had never had the patience to learn knitting. She had managed to knit a row before she threw it across the room in complete frustration.But maybe Rhett would be less inclined to throw in the towel.I took his hands in mine and began to show him the motions for the stitches. And he really wasn’t too bad for his first effort.I eventually took the training wheels off and left him to his own devices. When I peeked over and saw him struggling with purls, I said, “Hey, you’ve got this. Just be patient. It takes time to learn.”He said, “I’m guessing you knew I was about to toss this on the floor for the cats to play with?”I laughed and added, “I’ve seen that very particular ‘I’m about to throw this across the room’ look and...well, Barbara does seem to have a soft spot for you in her little heart. Despite your disdain for cats.”Rhett looked over at Barbara sleeping next to him as if he was worried she might hear.“Well, Barbara isn’t a cat. She’s… Barbara!”He began to pet and coo her. I knew then that he was pretty much done with the knitting. But I had to give him some credit for his efforts.He watched me knit and said, “You and Link are just so detail-oriented. Sometimes I’m jealous of that.”“Yeah, but without you and Rhea, we’d end up stuck in the details. You guys are the inspiring force that keeps us marching forward.”I smiled thinking of Rhea’s optimistic and inspirational efforts in the office and at home. She was always my biggest cheerleader and the one who convinced me to try new things.I said, “Actually one time Rhea put a sign above my desk that read, ‘Perfect is the enemy of good.’ I look at that sign often when I’m upset about something going on with the show, and it reminds me to stick with the big picture.”A few hours into knitting and I found myself drifting off to sleep. Suddenly I realized I had a very awkward dilemma on my hands. I didn’t want to be rude, and I was happy to share my bed with Rhett, but I also worried that I probably shouldn’t do that. Mostly because of my initial enthusiasm for the idea.And I didn’t want Rhett to feel weird about sleeping in a bed with me. While I didn’t view it as particularly sexual - I knew other people did.But I also wasn’t about to let him sleep on our tiny couch which couldn’t have even fit me, let alone him, comfortably. So I tried to navigate carefully.I said, “I’m getting pretty tired Rhett…”“That’s ok! I’m happy to sleep on the couch.”I watched his thought process as he really got a good look at it. It looked like he had immediately regretted voicing the thought. And yet he remained awkwardly silent.I realized he was probably having the same rushing thoughts I was. It wasn’t exactly like he hadn’t been flirting back all day and making excuses to be close. And yet, I don’t think either of us really knew what to do.I took a deep breath and said, “You think all seven feet of you is going to fit on this tiny couch to sleep? Just… I know it’s weird, but just come share my bed. I won’t bite…”We both clearly knew this was the best solution to the issue. And yet we both hesitated.Rhett sighed and nodded, “You’re right. My back would have paid for it in the morning.”Normally I slept naked, but I realized that wasn’t going to work tonight. I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put on the ugliest and most modest sleepwear I owned. Being hot and uncomfortable was just something I was going to have to deal with tonight.But it wasn’t all bad. Luckily I had found a brand new toothbrush in the package, because I didn’t even share a toothbrush with Rhea, let alone a stranger.Except Rhett wasn’t really a stranger anymore. We had spent the whole day together, and he was beginning to feel more and more like a friend. An awkwardly tall, sexy, hot friend, but a friend nevertheless.He crawled into bed and we both clung to our respective sides.I didn’t sleep well that night, and wanted nothing more than to wake Rhett up and tell him all of my worries. Which is probably what I would have done, if Rhea had been there.Of course my biggest worry was Rhea herself. If she had ended up in Rhett’s world, was she ok? Was she also sharing a bed with strange man? A strange man who looked and acted like me? I wasn’t jealous…well, maybe a little. But I was more worried that she would be upset and I wouldn’t be there to help.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When I woke up, my legs and arms were wrapped tightly around Rhett. It was tempting to linger in this moment, basking in the warmth radiating from his body. To hold him just a little bit longer.But, instead, I quickly detangled our bodies and muttered my guilt-laden apologies.I said, “I’m sorry, I’m basically a walking, awkward situation.”He stretched his long arms and smiled, and appeared to be unfazed by the whole thing.He said, “Link does this all the time. Almost every time we end up sharing a bed, I wake up like this. So trust me, waking up to someone lying on top of me and drooling is nothing new.I smiled quietly to myself, imagining the scene.For being “just friends,” they ended up in bed with one another, far more often than I would have imagined.He looked over at me with those familiar gray sleepy eyes, and watched as I yawned and stretched. I smiled back at him, and awkwardly grabbed my glasses.He shook his head and laughed. He said, “Gosh Lynn, you really are so much like Link. It’s wild.”I grinned and asked, “Well, how does Link feel about cereal?He smiled and replied, “He’s a pretty big fan.”I smiled, and made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast.I shouted back to Rhett, “Well, Link has great taste in friends and food. So next time y’all decide to try this whole interdimensional travel thing, can I request you send him, instead?”Rhett came out of my room laughing, and reassured me that, yes, he’d be more than happy to send Link along in his place.He added, “Just be careful what you wish for…”I threw him a mischievous grin as I poured two bowls of Mini Wheats. I opened the fridge, and looked back at him. I silently wondered if he was lactose intolerant, just like Rhea. But before I could ask, he reached into the fridge and his arm brushed against mine. He smiled apologetically as he pulled out the almond milk.My heart skipped a beat as I watched him. I internally scolded myself for not holding it together. I looked over at him to see if he was struggling the same thoughts and feelings, but he seemed to be busy eating breakfast without a care in the world.Maybe I had been reading into this too much, or I was in such need of a distraction from this cosmic horror story, that I was creating infatuation out of nothing.Or maybe I really just had a thing for tall, leggy blondes.But mostly, I just wished he was Rhea.I said, “Hey sorry all we have is almond milk. Rhea doesn’t eat dairy. Well, she’s not supposed to. She’s a chronic lactose cheater.”Rhett nodded and said, “It’s the cheese isn’t it? Gets me every time. It’s my Achilles heel.”I nodded and added, “See, this is what I mean. Next time Link and I get to hang out and eat cereal, and you two can eat cheese, and fight for the toilet.”I looked at the clock, and realized that I’d actually make it into the office at a reasonable hour today. Which seemed miraculous given that I was still playing host to someone from a parallel universe.On the long, hectic commute in notorious LA traffic, Rhett and I found ourselves singing along to every song on the radio. We were belting out power ballads, and laughing way too hard, despite the miserable gridlock.I was in awe of his beautiful voice. I thought to myself if we might even be able to write a song together, and that I could surprise Rhea with when she got back. That was, assuming she ever got back.Distracted for a moment in that distressing thought, I rested my hand on Rhett’s leg. It took a moment for me to realize this wasn’t Rhea. I drew my hand back quickly.I sputtered our, “I’m really embarrassed. I’m so sorry, I’m just used to driving like that with… Rhea. Especially when we commute in this level of traffic.”I could feel my face going flush when he threw a look and a grin my way and said, “It’s ok. Really. To be honest I kinda liked it.”He then said, “I can’t help it when I look at you. I just see Link. And to be honest, it’s oddly comforting. It’s probably the only reason why I’m not having a breakdown over this situation.”“Well in that case…,” I said as I gently returned my hand to his thigh.We managed to quietly sneak into the office again. Rhett sat down at Rhea’s desk and I watched as he began to look around the room at our various posters, fanart, and personal photos. We had both been in such a state of initial shock, that I wasn’t surprised he hadn’t really had a chance to look around and absorb his surroundings.He looked around Rhea’s desk which was, at least considering my standards, a mess. It was covered in post-it notes with random ideas, half filled notebooks, and crumbs from whatever she had last snacked on. Part of me considered using her absence as an excuse to clean and sanitize her filth pile.Whenever I would suggest she might want to clean her desk, she would just smirk and tell me that a messy desk was the sign of genius. I would tell her that I was pretty sure they meant messy with papers, and not empty La Croix cans.But he didn’t seem to notice the mess. He was looking through some of her notes, and grinning from ear to ear.He said, “These are great ideas. A whole episode on creepy dollhouses? Field trips to The Mutter Museum, The Atomic Testing Museum, and The House on the Rock? An episode devoted to dog hairstyles? Barbara vs Rhea on the catwalk? Brilliant! You should probably know that I’m stealing these.”I laughed and shook my head. I just knew that when Rhea returned, she would pitch these ideas excitedly and then be so disappointed I knew what they were already. So I vowed to myself that when...or if Rhea returned, I would put on my absolute best poker face.Rhett grabbed a pen from the desk and began writing jotting down notes.He then picked up the picture frame she kept on her desk. I knew exactly what photo he was looking at - our wedding photo. It was the same photo I had on my desk - a black and white photo of us, standing together in white wedding dresses. It’s not a professional photograph - just the one that Link’s mom took with her disposable camera.In the photo, we are kissing in front of a beautiful sunset. Sure, it was a very cliche pose, but given how hard we had to fight to even be in those wedding dresses, we had both agreed that we earned a little corniness.I picked up the photo on my desk and realized how beautiful and carefree we looked. Rhea was so beautiful. When we were scared to hold hands on campus in college, I could never have imagined being able to marry her. It was truly a miracle.I said, “We waited a long time to get married. Not out of choice, mind you. We probably would have married out of high school if it had been legal. But when we were finally able to do it… well as you can tell, we had the time of our lives.”Rhett nodded thoughtfully and said, “You know, this is one of those strange opportunities to really see how life could have been different. I grew up in such a homophobic environment that, even if I had wanted to marry a man, I don’t know that I would have ever been brave enough to do it. Not that I’m not happy I married my wife, I absolutely love her.”I picked up a copy of our book and said, “Well are you interested in checking out this universe's version of your life?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I stood, and walked over to our crowded bookshelf. One book stood out proudly on display - our book. I paused for a moment, before carefully removing the book from its display. I walked back over to the couch, and handed it to Rhett. And for a moment we just sat together in silence, looking at the cover.The image on the cover was of Rhea and I, in a ridiculously small kiddie pool, in equally ridiculous polka dot swimsuits, and sunglasses. It was something that had been inspired by several videos of us, in kiddie pools full of various liquids including - nacho cheese, slime, and lotion.I explained to Rhett, “See it’s like a running joke on our show, because Lynn and I have a terrible habit of ending up bathing in things. Usually, very unpleasant things.”He laughed, and said, “You too?”His laughter died down and suddenly we were, once again, blanketed with silence. Rhett took a breath in and cautiously opened the front cover. We began to read silently together.I felt like I was viewing my life as an outsider. I wondered what this could possibly feel like for him. I can only imagine the surrealism of Rhett reading exactly how his life might have played out had he been born here, instead of there.We opened to the chapter about our childhoods living in North Carolina.I pointed to a picture of Rhea as a little girl and said, “You know, she always said she was an awkward and ugly little girl. She would pick at her own looks constantly. But she wasn’t. She was a beautiful, adventurous, and curious little girl.”He nodded thoughtfully and said,”Well I can certainly relate to her struggle. You try being taller than all the other kids, and just wanting to be normal, or just to fit in, at the very least. I mean, being tall has a ton of advantages, but… well it’s just hard when you’re younger, and want to be just like everyone else.”I frowned and said, “But you and Rhea weren’t born to fit in. Why would you ever do want to be normal? Normal is boring. Rhea? She’s damn extraordinary. And that’s what I’ve always been in love with. And I’m sure Link feels the same way about you. And on top of that, what normal person ever changed the world?”He said, “I guess you’re right. We say the exact same thing to Mythical Beasts but here I am, with all this youthful, angst-ridden baggage.”I laughed, “I think we are carrying that around. I’m almost forty years old and I still have nightmares about social studies tests. Like, what the hell is that about?”He continued to flip through the pages, and laughed at a picture of Rhea and me in middle school. Rhea was laughing in a flannel shirt, a black tank top underneath, and sporting bright red hair. I smiled remembering how cool we both thought we looked back then.I said, “We looked like rejects from My So-Called Life. In fact, from what I remember - Rhea’s whole look was inspired by that show. I don’t know how we got our hands on Manic Panic hair dye, but we found it and she was in love. She thought it would turn out this cool dark red but, of course, on her blonde hair it ended up way brighter. Her parents were both pretty unhappy about that.”Rhett laughed and nodded. He said, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure my mom would have actually killed me if I had come home with that hair color. Or at least, forcefully shaved my head.”I said, “The worst part was - it stayed like that for months.”We both laughed and I said, “What can I say? We were edgy as hell for rural North Carolina. My mom didn’t really care so much. She was proud that I was so unique. I was spoiled.”He flipped through the book, clearly in search of something in particular. When I asked what he was looking for he suddenly asked, “Did you guys bond over Merle Haggard like Link and I did? It was this huge part of our childhoods.”I thought it was a rather strange question given that I don’t think Rhea, or I have voluntarily listened to Merle Haggard… well ever.“No, I guess I always associated country music with the boys who would harass Rhea and I in school - usually calling us dykes and telling us they could ‘change’ us if we’d give them a chance.”We sat in awkward silence for a moment before I realized that, yes, Rhea and I had bonded over music. Just different music.I added, “We did love music though. One day I brought home the album, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. That’s when we both fell in love with David Bowie. He was this outsider just like us, but he managed to be so cool about it. In a lot of ways, I think we related to him. And hadn’t even fully grasped that we were both bisexual. We must have listened to the whole album five times that day.”Rhett listened attentively, and nodded. He said, “I can definitely see why you both would have escaped into the music of David Bowie. He’s amazing and yeah, he was definitely an outsider.”I said, “We both also really into Queen. But especially Rhea. She just adored everything about Freddie Mercury. I don’t know if she was more in love with him or just wanted to be him.”I thought for a moment about the music we had connected with as young people. We had heavily gravitated toward people who were uniquely themselves, and unapologetically weird. Just like we were.Rhett continued to look through the book until he found our senior prom photos. He pointed at the photos with a look of confusion on his face, and said, “Who are these boys?”I laughed.“You know Rhett, we weren’t dating in high school. We were weird enough, can you imagine that scandal? Rebellious as we were, we were also still doing our best to pretend to be nice, straight, Christian girls. These boys were just a couple of friends from school. To be honest, Rhea and I wanted to go together, but her mom kinda insisted she find a ‘real’ date. So we wrangled up a couple of boys.”I was expecting laughter but he just looked heart broken. He said, “I’m really sorry you weren’t able to go together.”I forced a smile, and tried to cheer him up by saying, “Hey, we made up for it later, you know?”I pointed to a prom picture of just Rhea and myself in it. We were both basking in our awkward, teenage glory. Rhea had been defiant that night by ignoring her mother’s advice and wearing high heels. She must have pushed herself up to six foot five. And of course, I was rocking flats. I tripped over my own feel enough without heels. We had picked our dresses together and tried to pick complementary colors.I pointed to the photo and said, “See Rhea’s heels? That was an act of rebellion. Rhea’s mom suggested that maybe she shouldn’t wear heels, ya know, given how tall she is. I believe Mama Di said ‘Rhea, it’s just that you might intimidate boys if you’re so tall.’ Of course, Rhea was delighted by the prospect of intimidating boys, and wears high heels to this day.”Rhett snorted with laughter, and said, “I would definitely have done that. No doubt!”The both of us continued to laugh about how sheltered our lives had been in rural North Carolina. We talked about all the terrible 1990s trends that were making their way back into stores.When we got to college pictures, Rhett looked over to me and asked “So, did you guys major in engineering too?”I nodded and added, “Well, I did, but Rhea majored in library sciences. But, weirdly, I’m the one who ended up looking like a librarian.”Just to emphasize my point, I pushed my glasses up my nose and fluffed my wild graying hair.I said, “The most common comment left on our videos besides ‘are they lesbians?!’,‘Rhea has NICE TITS’, and ‘first’, was that I looked like a sexy librarian. Isn’t that nice?”I reached over and began turning to a chapter I thought he might really appreciate as a child of the 90s - the chapter titled: “Wear Your Heart on Your Hideous Sleeves.”This chapter was mostly an homage to all of the terrible fashion statements we had made throughout our childhoods. Photos of me, rocking the mom-jeans that my mom has thought looked just amazing on me. Photos of Rhea’s hair in a variety of huge scrunchies and bows. And then, of course, sixth grade yearbook pictures where we both decided to crimp our hair. With predictable disastrous results.And then of course, there was the camo. I mean, sure, we were queer as hell, but first, and foremost we were rural Southern kids.He pointed so a subsection of the chapter titled, “How to be a Slovenian Supermodel” and looked at me with confusion. The page was adorned with high end looking photographs of a stunning looking Rhea.He looked at me with wide-eyes, and squeaked, “She was a model?”I nodded. Not only had Rhea been a model, she had been an amazing model. She was tall, graceful, and heads turned, whenever she walked into a room.“She spent a summer over in Slovenia modeling. And she was good. I mean really good. She jokes about having thrown away her career as a supermodel to make videos on the internet but, honestly, who knows? From the time she was tall enough to be considered tall, people said she should model. With her cheekbones, gorgeous looks - she was perfect. So, she did.”“So why did she quit? You said she only modeled over one summer?”I could feel myself immediately tensing up. I sighed, and took a breath to get ready for what I knew would be a rush of emotions.“Well, according to our book, she wanted to do something more with her life than be judged on her appearance. In here we said, she wanted to be a librarian, and knew she had to go to college instead of modeling. And that’s all true. But it’s also a lot more dark and more complicated than that.”I took a breath in and prepared to tell him, almost a perfect stranger, a truth that almost no one knew, except Rhea and I.I braced myself and began, “The truth is I asked her to come home. She had begun joking about not eating, fucking everyone in sight, and snorting coke. And I knew she was joking but…I was worried about her. I was worried the day would come when she wasn’t joking anymore. And I didn’t want to lose her.”I took a breath and continued, “Rhea had always struggled with depression, and then she was alone in a strange country with all that pressure. Her manager was beginning to make passes at her and I was scared he would hurt her. I was also afraid she was going to hurt herself or, frankly, kill herself. I loved her too much to let that happen.So I asked her to come home and be with me.”Rhett asked, “How old were you?”“We were both eighteen, and it was the summer between highschool and freshman year. The fact that she was gone, I mean really gone, for the first time since we were in first grade, well that was the thing that pushed me to figure out I was in love with her. We dated other people in college but, honestly, it felt like fate had always bound us together.”He reached over and took my hand. He said, “I’m so sorry she went through all of that. I’ve struggled with my fair share of anger, insecurity, and depression. It was mostly because I wasn’t at peace with who I was.”I looked over and realized Rhett’s hands were shaking, and he was beginning to tear up. Something about Rhea’s experience had clearly touched closer to home than he thought it would. But I didn’t want to push him to talk. Especially if he wasn’t there yet.“Rhett, why don’t we take a break from the existential mind fuck? You can rest your eyes and I’ll work on some projects, ok?”As he napped in the office I watched him and thought about how different Rhett’s life must have been from ours. Not better, not worse, but just different. It was clear to me that he had struggled with his own demons as much as Rhea had struggled with hers.I felt bad that he ended up stuck here with me and not Rhea. Sure, I could relate to some of his feelings, but I didn’t feel equipped to help guide him through whatever existential issue he was struggling with. I felt helpless.I tried to get work done but I just keep looking over at Rhett. Part of me wanted to crawl next to him, throw my arms around him, and comfort him. I wanted to tell him that, whatever was going on for him, it was going to be ok. But I didn’t. Instead I just watched as he tossed and turned on the uncomfortable office floor.He did eventually fall asleep and I managed to clear out enough of my inbox to at least let our sponsors know I was still alive.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
After a while I realized I was just fidgeting and staring at a blank computer screen. Rhett had woken up and seemed to just be quietly thinking.I looked over at Rhett and said, “I don’t think I can get any more work done. Let’s just grab some food and get the hell out of here.”When we got home, Rhett immediately settled into the couch with both Barbara and Jade vying for his attention. For being a self-professed dog person, Rhett certainly had a fondness for these two felines.He called out from the living room, “Lynn do you play?”I walked back into the room and found Rhett holding Rhea’s guitar. I watched as he settled into the couch and began to strum. It was so nice to have music in the house but it also made me miss her so much. Rhea would often come home from a particularly stressful day and play me some of my favorite songs.I sat next to him and watched. He offered me the guitar and I laughed and said, “I’m terrible! That’s all Rhea.”Part of me was reluctant to leave the room while he played. I felt like I had a little bit of Rhea back in my life, even if just for a moment.“You mentioned in the car that you and Link write songs? Can you play one for me?”He nodded and I grabbed my knitting.As he began to play, he paused to mention he’d be singing both parts. I nodded and carefully listened.As he sang, I laughed at him as he clearly tried to imitate what I imagined was Link’s higher voice.When he was done he took a small bow and I playfully clapped for him.“I don’t understand that song but I like it!”“Well, see, my hair is usually well… more up than this.”He pointed to his flattened dirty blonde hair.“And at the time we wrote this, Link had kinda this floppy wing thing.”I started hysterically laughing. I immediately grabbed the Book of Mythicality and flipped to a picture of me with my hair in what I imagined was a very similar style.“Like this Thelma from Scooby Doo mess I had?”He laughed and said, “Exactly! Oh my gosh, you even have the wings! Like, you could have actually been identical twins.”I giggled and said, “Well I’m glad I let it grow out! I’m less androgynous cartoon character and more cougar.”I saw Rhett look me over and subtly bite his lip. I felt my face growing warmer and began knitting furiously.After playing a few more songs including one another OCD and another one about exercise bikes, he set the guitar aside. I saw him glancing over at the book like he was having an internal struggle.He finally broke the silence by saying, “Can I, maybe, continue reading the book?”I nodded and tapped the spot next to me on the couch. We sat together with the book on my lap and him looking on.“Wait I want to read that chapter,” he said pointing to the chapter titled, “How to Survive the Apocalypse.” We had created an infographic about the likelihood of survival from Y2K being the most survivable and gray goo being the least survivable. We both laughed at the pictures of Rhea acting out various end-of-the-world scenarios.He then flipped to the shortest chapter of our book, entitled “How To Wear Heels as a Tall Woman.”It was only one page with one infographic resembling airplane safety instructions.It showed Rhea displaying the three important steps: be tall, put on heels, be fabulous.Rhett laughed and told me he had managed to end up in heels in their book as well.I gasped and said, “You must have been literally seven feet tall!”He leaned in close and whispered, “What can I say Lynn? I just wanted to intimidate boys.”I began to laugh so hard I had tears rolling down my face.He flipped to the next chapter and froze. The page had a huge rainbow and the title “Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are.”I watched as he grew pale and he began to sway.“Rhett, are you ok? You look like you might faint.”He silently nodded and laid his head on my shoulder. I held him steady for a moment.“We can skip this chapter. You don’t have to read anything that…”“How did you know?,” he said suddenly.I rubbed my hand in circles on his back and gently asked, “How did I know what, hun?”He looked up, and hesitated before asking,“How did you know you were bi?”I sat silently, and collected my thoughts for a moment. I was asked this question often by Mythical Beasts and other YouTubers. I tended to have a very canned response.But this question was sincere, and deserved a sincere and thoughtful response.“I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t even know what that meant when I was young! The only times we heard about same-sex relationships was in church when it was being condemned, when we heard about HIV on the news, or when we got called dykes in school. So as you can imagine we didn’t get the best impression.”Rhett listened intently and nodded in agreement. I realized he Had probably grown up with very similar circumstances.I continued, “I mean shoot, we didn’t even know what dyke meant. We just knew it was something really bad. In fact, I remember Rhea getting mad at Cole once and calling him a dyke. After he finished laughing at us, he explained what it meant. Of course, we didn’t understand why ‘a girl who likes girls’ was a bad thing, but we knew not to push it.”Rhett was in the edge of his seat, listening to my story.“I knew I had feelings for boys. There were times when I felt boy crazy in fact. I dated boys in middle and high school. But I also knew I liked sleepovers with Rhea where we shared a bed. Touching her felt so good. Whenever she dated a guy I was always so jealous. Looking back, it was so obvious. But at the time? I was still figuring the whole thing out.”Rhett listened intently, and was quiet for a moment. He looked like we was gathering his thoughts and his courage.“I’m bi too.”I hugged him tightly.“Are you out to anyone?”He nodded and said, “My wife, Jessie, she knows. She’s always known. She loves me and it doesn’t matter to her. And, of course, Link knows. I mean, I’m not exactly hiding it! But I’m not exactly out and proud either.”I took his hand in mine and said, “Coming out is a really personal decision. I hope you don’t feel pressured either way.”“I know! I mean, it’s like an open secret. I just know what it would mean to some many Mythical Beasts if I were out. But, part of me is just scared you know? I don’t want my parents to find out via Good Mythical Morning and, well, I don’t know if I’ll ever be brave enough to tell them.”“You don’t owe the Mythical Beasts, your family, or anyone else. If you want to come out, come out. If not, that’s ok too. We can take another chapter break if you want?”“No! I mean. I want to read this. Maybe I’ll learn something.”I flipped to a picture of me and my mother at a Pride Parade. I was in a t-shirt that said, “bi and proud,” and she was holding a sign that said, “I love my bi daughter!”I said, “So many people approached her in tears and told her that they wish their parents would accept them. Mom gave them hugs and told them she’s be their mom for the day. By the end of the parade, my mom was the most popular person there!”He laughed and said, “Go Sue!”I added, “She was so into the leather bears and so disappointed when I explained that they were all gay!”We both began to laugh so hard that we had tears rolling down our cheeks.Rhett said, “Poor Mama Sue. Still, she kicks ass in every universe.”I said, “You don’t even know the half of it! When we were about twenty years old, Rhea and I were home between semesters. We were dating at this time and not doing a great job of keeping our hands off of each other. Well, our pastor wanted us all to come in - me, my mom, and Rhea. On the way there I began to cry and wail. I mean, my relationship with Rhea was an open secret and you know small towns. If one person knows, everyone knows.”Rhett nodded sadly.“Well we knew exactly what this ‘meeting’ was all about. I remember through tears, saying ‘mom I have to tell you something’ because at this point, we hadn’t actually told her! I knew the pastor had every intention of outting me and I just kept imagining how my mom would cry, throw me out, and never speak to me again. But she didn’t.”Rhett was on the edge of his seat, listening to the story.I continued, “She said, ‘Lynn - I already know. Ya’ll love each other and that’s fine with me.’ Rhea’s jaw dropped and I choked out something like, ‘wait you’re not going to disown me?’”Rhett looked at me as if hanging on to every word I said. He whispered, “What did Sue say?”“She said, ‘Cara Lynn Neal, I may be an old Southern God-fearing woman, and I admit that sometimes I’m a little ignorant, but I love you. You are my only child, and the best thing that ever happened to me. And you being… well… you liking women isn’t going to stop me from loving you.’”I said, “Well, when we got to the church, the pastor told us we were sinning. He read us the horrors of Sodom and Gomorrah, the rules in Leviticus, and every other clobber passage he could find. And then demanded that we repent and find good men to marry. Obviously Rhea and I weren’t having any of that. I actually think Rhea laughed. But then he turned to my mom and demanded that if we wouldn’t repent that my mom should reject us or she’d also be thrown out of the church.”Rhett gasped and shouted, “What the hell is wrong with people?”I said, “I don’t know but I don’t think he knew what he was up against! Mom just looked that man in the eye and said she loved her big dyke daughter, and she wasn’t going to reject me or Rhea. And that she would be happy to find another church.”Rhett grinned and said, “Go Mama Sue.”I added, “Oh it gets better! She took us both by the hand and we all walked out. But right before we got to the door she turned around and, in the most hard-core Southern lady shade that I have ever seen, she looked him up and down and she said she’d pray for him.”Rhett gasped and clutched his chest jokingly and said, “Oh shit.”“Right? She then took us out to eat, and she said would find a nice new church that accepted her beautiful daughters for who they were and who God intended them to be.”He looked at me in confusion, “Daughters? Plural?”I smiled and nodded, “I’m convinced part of the reason my mom was so ok with me being bisexual was that she knew I’d end up with Rhea and she loved Rhea. Growing up a bisexual girl in the Bible Belt wasn’t easy, as you could imagine. The world isn’t exactly kind. But my mom, well she was always my champion. I never doubted for a second that she loved me with all her heart.”Rhett considered this for a moment, and then asked, “So, did you ever find another church?”“Oh we sure did! And they loved us! We were kinda their token queers but I’ll take it. And I still believe in God. Just not the boogeyman God that my pastor believed in. My God is loving, kind, and forgiving. My mom always told us that God had made us bisexual and who was she to question God?”I watched as Rhett wiped tears from his eyes. We hugged one another.“Do you feel better hun? You know you’re perfect the way you are right? We grew up so much garbage, but they were wrong, you know?”He nodded, and we held each other for a moment.“Ok, I think I’m ready to keep reading.”I flipped the page but Rhett suddenly got that same, “I think I might faint” look in his eyes. His face began to flush and I felt him moving away from me on the couch.I was surprised by his reaction since this was the love chapter - “Say I Love You Like It’s Never Been Said.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I watched him with serious concern. He looked like he may actually run out the door screaming or, at the very least, curl into a ball and cry.I paused for a moment trying to figure out why this chapter was causing such a clear, negative, and visceral response.But then I realized what it was. This chapter, more than any other, truly represented a major what-if for Rhett. And in this case, the what-if was about his relationship with Link.I gestured for him to come back over to me and said,”Seriously, are you ok? We can skip this chapter. I won’t be hurt, I promise.”Rhett looked like he was considering the proposition, but he shook his head. He moved back toward me on the couch. He hesitated before allowing me to put my arm around his shoulder.I watched as he shrunk into my body, and we began to cuddle. I wondered how often Rhett allowed himself to be this vulnerable.I ran my fingers gently through his hair. It’s what I would have done to calm Rhea down, and the physicality seemed so natural between us.The chapter begins in a pretty lighthearted way with an infographic of the worst possible songs to play at weddings including: Every Breath You Take, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, and Golddigger.Rhett laughed, and said, “I would also have added The Chicken Dance, The Macarana, and any dance song involving a train.”I smiled and said, “Yes, all horrific abominations - especially train-related dance songs. I agree!”Rhett looked at me and asked, “So when was your first kiss? When did you and Rhea start dating?”I thought about it for a moment, and said, “Looking back on it, I would almost say we had been dating since first grade. We were constantly together. In fact, when we went on dates with boys, we often went together. It led to a lot of confused and disappointed boys who had assumed they had scored the jackpot with two girlfriends.”I continued, “We actually went on our first real and official date in college. We went roller skating and… well… I tripped her.”Rhett burst into a laughing fit.I defended myself, “It was so I could sweep in and save the day! How is that not a good idea?”I began to laugh, “It made a lot more sense to me at the moment.”Through his laughter he said, “You and Link are such ridiculous assholes. Seriously!”My mouth dropped and I said, “Did that little alternate universe sonofabitch steal my sweet seductive moves?!”We both continued laughing.I said, “Ok but let’s go back and answer the first kiss question. We practiced kissing a lot in middle school but I don’t really think we understood what we were doing. The first kiss that meant something? Well, Rhea had gotten back from Slovenia and was unpacking her stuff in our dorm. She had only gotten home like, the day before classes started. So we both were rushing as we went through her stuff trying to make it so she was ready for classes in the morning.”I continued, “Well, despite our rush, we ended up staying up late that night and I don’t know exactly what led to what. But I was falling asleep on the bottom bunk and, well, Rhea leaned over and kissed me. Gosh Rhett, it was magic. Everything in my life suddenly made sense. It was one of those kisses that you only dream about when you’re young. Of course, one thing led to another and we ended up losing our virginities to each other that night. And we ended up getting very little sleep that first semester. Even though we were also dating other people but it’s confusing.”He blushed and nodded. His reaction seemed odd, almost as if he was jealous.Rhett then read over the love letters Rhea and Lynn had written to each other throughout the years. Including notes from elementary school asking if Rhea would be my friend to longer notes in high school, and finally to legitimate love letters in college and beyond.And then came the wedding story.I said, “Ok Rhett, here comes the best part! It’s a sordid tale laced with drama, road trips, and ferocious Southern mamas!”I pointed to the wedding photos and said, “So obviously, for a huge chunk of our relationship, we couldn’t legally marry. And, to be honest, we never thought we would be able to get married. It was just so out of the realm of possibility for two bisexual girls in North Carolina.But then, in 2004, Massachusetts legalized same-sex marriages. I remember that night because we watched it on the news and Rhea just cried her eyes out. We suddenly were filled with so much hope. Then suddenly the phone rang. I picked it up and it was my mom… asking for Rhea.”He leaned in and said, “Well, what happened?”I said, “I was confused and handed the phone over to Rhea, who quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes. My mom, for the record, did not just call Rhea out of nowhere. So when she just kept saying, “yes!” and “I will!” to my mom, I was so confused. When Rhea hung up the phone she took my hand and calmly sat me down on the couch.”Rhett stared at me with breathless wonder.I continued, “Now, as you can imagine, at this point, I’m nervous as hell. Why did my mom want to call Rhea? Why was Rhea acting so serious on the phone? I was convinced something was wrong with my mom and she had wanted Rhea to break the news to me.But that’s not what happened. Rhea looked me in the eye and said ‘your mom just saw the news. She wants me to make an honest woman of you.’ I remember being so confused until Rhea got on one knee. She apologized for not having a ring but I was too busy crying and screaming ‘yes’ to care.”I said, “So then we spent the next couple of months figuring out how to get to Boston for the wedding. And by wedding I mean, going to the justice of the peace and signing a certificate. We ended up deciding we would drive all the way to Massachusetts and make a road trip out of it.”Rhett suddenly asked, “How did my, I mean, Rhea’s parents react to the news?”I took a breath in. I needed a moment to figure out how to explain this part of the story to Rhett. First I considered sugar coating it or watering it down at least. But I felt like it was unfair to paint a false narrative. Even if the real narrative was painful.“There was a huge fight between your parents and Rhea. They didn’t understand. They were, ya know, tolerant of us living together but I think marriage made it real for them, ya know. And they told us that they believed that we were sinning and prayed that we would seek God, etc.”Rhett sighed sadly and asked, “So, was Rhea all alone at her wedding?”I said, “Oh heck no. Her older brother told your parents they were being stupid, and packed himself in the truck last minute. He said someone needed to walk Rhea down the aisle. We tried to explain there wouldn’t be an aisle but you know big brothers. Stubborn to say the least.”Rhett grinned ear to ear.I continued, “Say what you will for that dork, Cole is a great brother-in-law who always supported us! Even if he one time asked me at Thanksgiving dinner how two girls have sex.”I pointed out several pictures of Rhea and Cole making goofy poses outside of the truck. I then pointed out the picture of Rhea and Cole walking down an aisle at Walmart.Rhett said, “I guess he got his wish after all!”I looked over at Rhett and said, “And hey! Her… your parents eventually got over it. When we celebrated North Carolina getting marriage equality by renewing our vows, your parents were in the front row crying happy tears!”I added, “People change Rhett. In fact, your mom apologized and told me that love was a gift from God. And that she had been stupid. She thanked me for loving her beautiful daughter. Your dad is still convinced that one of us is the ‘boy’ in the relationship but I’m sure he’ll get it someday!”Rhett said, “You both are way braver than I ever was and probably ever will be. I mean, I should have come out. A long time ago.”I shook my head in disagreement.“You had to keep yourself safe - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I can’t judge you for making a different choice than we did. It doesn’t make you any less valid than us. I promise.”I threw my arms around him and we embraced. I found my face buried in his neck and had to restrain myself from diving in for a kiss.I pulled myself away and said, “Why don’t I pour us some wine, huh? I think we’ve had enough deep talk for tonight!”I jumped up and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses from the cabinet.We drank and played with the cats for a while. By the time we were ready for bed, we were both relaxed, to say the least.I don’t know what came over me in that moment. Maybe it was the wine loosening my lips or maybe it was all the talk of love and sex. Or maybe I had just lost my mind.I looked over at him laying next to me in bed and said, “God, you are ridiculously hot Rhett. Seriously. What the hell!”But what I was more shocked by than my loud mouth was his equally flirtatious response.Rhett laughed and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be. But honestly, you’re… wow. I mean damn Lynn- this gorgeous hair, your beautiful eyes, and your firey personality.”And before I knew it, our lips were pressed against one another’s. I rolled him on top of me and found my legs spreading for him, almost as if possessed by lust. I began rolling my hips up, desperate to feel his body on mine.I pulled back and began to apologize. He cut me off saying, “I’m in an open relationship and so are you. It’s ok. This kinda makes sense. No need to apologize.”He leaned over top of me and said, “Do you want me?”I looked into his stormy gray eyes and moaned yes.In that moment, all the stress, fear, and tension we had experienced over the last days came crashing to the surface to drive us together.I moaned under his command.He began undressing me and I pushed him off. Something had clicked in my head and I said, “Rhett I can’t, I’m not on birth control and we don’t exactly have condoms here.”He leaned in and whispered, “I had a vasectomy.”I gasped and pulled him back on top of me. I let him finish undressing us both. He climbed under the blankets and I giggled for a second, feeling his beard tickle the inside of my thighs.But my laughter turned to moaning as I felt his tongue swipe across my clit. As he devoured me, I felt him slip two fingers inside of me. I screamed his name and felt my eyes roll to the back of my head. I felt myself growing wetter and wetter.I clawed at him and begged him to come back up. He emerged from under the blankets, mouth glistening and hair ruffled. I thrust up toward him and felt him slip inside.I couldn’t believe how full I felt and I just wanted to him to fuck me roughly. And, as if reading my mind, he brought my knees up to my chest and began going deep and hard. My toes were curling and I was scratching at his back when he moaned, thrust deep inside me, and came.Afterwards we laid in bed, curled in each other’s arms - sweaty, sticky, and both smiling.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He suddenly said, “I’m hungry.”“Oh course you’re hungry because it’s ten at night. And you’re basically Rhea. What are you hungry for?”At this moment I really wished Rhea could meet her ridiculous doppelgänger.He didn’t answer me. Instead, he threw on Rhea’s pajama pants and threw me my robe. He took my hand, and led me into the kitchen.I watched as he rummaged through the refrigerator, and began to look very excited.He turned around and asked, “Are you awake, because this will take a little while?”I felt awake enough in the moment but began to worry how much longer I could stay up. Especially given that I had no idea what he was trying to whip up.I replied, “Well, I am now, but what if I get sleepy?”He shot me a smoldering look and said, “I’ll keep you awake don’t you worry.”I tiptoed behind him and ran my fingers gently along his back.“You better boo. I might get awfully sleepy waiting for your surprise.”He turned around and kissed me. He then shooed me from the kitchen telling me this had to be a surprise.I tried to keep myself awake by working on a knitting project, but found myself wanting to drift off. Whenever Rhett sensed I was bored, he came over and we fooled around. My lips felt bruised by the end of the night.From the kitchen, a timer rang. Rhett excitedly jumped up, and headed for the freezer. I watched as he grabbed an ice cream scoop, two bowls, and two spoons.He sat next to me and handed me his concoction. He watched with eager anticipation as I took a bite. I looked at him with a mixture of delight and confusion.“It’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream but without the chocolate chips.”My jaw dropped, and I squealed. How did Rhett know what I always wanted, but could never find?I said, “I know you have to go home but, can I keep you?”The next morning I got a text from Chelsea and Stevie, asking us to meet them at the office. When we arrived they were already waiting for us. From the looks on their faces I could already tell the news wasn’t great.Stevie started, “The crew is getting really worried and suspicious. They think Chelsea and I are acting weird, and they’re worried that you and Rhea are getting divorced. I don’t know how long I can keep avoiding their questions.”I was about to start saying how ridiculous that rumor was, until I thought about it. They hadn’t seen us together in days, which was rather unusual for us. And they were all very used to open and direct communication instead of dodging questions and being avoidant. But I had no idea how to alleviate their distress. In fact, I wondered if the truth would make it worse.I sighed and asked, “Are we any closer to figuring this out?”Chelsea shook her head no and added, “I have a few ideas, but no good news.”Rhett said, “Well, tell us your ideas!”Chelsea looked over to Rhett and said, “First things first. To be honest, these aren’t ‘ideas’ as much as they are theories. And not even very firm ones at that. From what I’ve been reading and trying to process - travel between dimensions is considered impossible. Just straight up impossible. Cannot be done, has not been done, will never be done.”I hugged and said, “Clearly not, since it happened. And Rhett is here as proof.”Chelsea nodded and said, “Yes! Right. But the question isn’t just, ‘did it happen’ but ‘how can we make it happen again?’ For that, according to physicists there are two options. First we just, well, do something.”I asked, “What do you mean, do something?”Chelsea frowned and said, “Well, according to some people, every single action we take, or don’t take, results in the creation of a new multiverse.”I watched as Rhett rolled his eyes.Chelsea looked over at him and angrily spat, “The second option is to create a black hole and throw you in and hope for the best.”Stevie looked between the two of them and said, “The eye-rolling and the shitty attitudes are not helping to bring Rhea back, so just stop.”We all sat in silence for a moment.I said, “So, are we screwed? Am I never going to see my wife again?”Chelsea ran her fingers nervously through her hair.She said, “This is going to sound crazy but here we go. I went back and listened to your Ear Biscuits broadcast. I thought it might give me some clues as to what happened that day. Lynn, does Rhea really stay up all night stressing about her life?”I nodded and said, “Rhea struggles a lot with depression and low self-worth. She tries to cover it up with her sarcasm and lashing out, but it doesn’t really ever work.”Chelsea continued, “I had a feeling that wasn’t just something you guys made up on the spot, for a bit.”Rhett said, “I don’t understand what this has to do with anything.”Chelsea sighed and said, “It has to do with everything Rhett. Can’t you see? This isn’t some kind of cosmic crisis, it’s an existential crisis. Rhea caused this.”I sat in bewildered confusion for a moment, piecing together my thoughts.I said, “You’re telling me my wife had such an existential crisis she tore a hole in time and space?”Chelsea nodded.I felt myself begin to tear up. I buried my head in my hands and began to sob.I choked out, “We can’t do anything. Rhett, can’t you see? This whole thing is in Rhea’s hands. It always has been. Until she resolves this, you’re stuck here. And we don’t even know if she ever will resolve it. She might not even know it’s in her hands!”I felt Rhett wrap his arms around me.He said, “Rhea isn’t the only one who has struggled with what-ifs, depression, and anger. There have been so many times I’ve worried people would figure out I was a fraud. That I had no idea what I was doing. I’ve wrestled with the meaning of life. And I still don’t have any answers. But that’s ok. And you know who has always helped me when I was like that?”I looked up and him and muttered, “Who?”“Link Neal.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I wiped the tears from my eyes and tried to take in what Rhett was saying.“You’re asking me to put all my faith, in a man I’ve never met, to save my wife?”Rhett said, “You are so much like him. In almost every way. And I’ve known you, what, two days? And you’ve helped me deal with my shit. I’m not asking you to have faith in a stranger. I’m asking you to have faith - in yourself.”We sat for a moment of silence.I thought about Rhea - scared and alone in a strange universe. I began to choke up and bawl.Through my tears I asked, “Is Link kind? If she never comes back, will he take care of her? Will he love her?”Rhett nodded and answered, “Yes. I know he will do anything he can for her.”He thought for a moment and added, “I really think they will figure this out. For all we know know, they already know what they have to do. Link and I have always had a strange way of syncing up. I know he’ll figure it out.I muttered, “So what do we do now?”We both sat in silence, contemplating our choices. To me, any action I took seemed pointless and absurd. Should I continue to hope that everything would naturally work out by itself or cope with the new reality that had presented itself?Out of nowhere, Rhett suddenly said, “I’m really hungry.”I stared at him with confusion before I burst out laughing. He joined in and we sat there laughing hysterically at the absolute madness of our lives.I said, “Yeah, all of this talk of cosmic horror, existential dilemma, and alternate universes makes me kinda want to eat, literally, all of my feelings.”We popped into Stevie’s office and invited her along with us. Rhett was even nice enough to agree that she could ask him about his universe. This intrigued her enough to drop her work and leave with us.During lunch Stevie asked a slew of questions - mostly about “other Stevie.” She was surprised to learn that her counterpart had a girlfriend (our Stevie was quite straight) and couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Chelsea was a boy in Rhett’s world. But she was mostly astounded at the similarities.“Is it weird spending time with Lynn? I mean she’s basically a stranger but also, you know, kinda your best friend.”We both smiled at one another and agreed it had been a pretty strange experience so far.Then Stevie looked at Rhett said, “If we figure this out, I hope you can meet Rhea. She’s amazing. You’d love her.”Rhett smiled and nodded adding, “She seems incredible. I only hope she realizes that too, and soon.”The car ride home was quiet. Rhett’s pep talk had had very little effect on me. Sure, perhaps Link could figure this out. But what if he couldn’t? What if I never saw her again? My whole future just washed away. Rhett asking me to have faith in a myself and, well, I wasn’t so sure about that.And then there was the issue of Rhett - a man on the brink of losing everything important in his life. A man about to be stuck in a world that isn’t his. We might be able to wrangle fake documents for him, but I had doubts this would ever really be his world.When we arrived home, I threw my stuff down and silently walked into my room. I dramatically threw myself on the on the bed. After throwing some pillows in anger, I crawled under the blankets.I wasn’t tired but I also didn’t really want to be conscious anymore. Not with this horrible racing thoughts.I liked Rhett, I really did. But the reality was, no matter how our future shook out - he wasn’t Rhea. We would never have that incredible rich history together. We would never be bonded by all the struggles we faced in the name of love. He just wasn’t her.Rhett came in and asked, “Do you want me to lay with you?”I shook my head and said, “I need space. I need time to just feel - shitty.”Before he left he said, “You know, I’m scared too. I may never see my children, my wife, or my best friend again. You’re not alone in this.”After crying myself into exhaustion, I passed out for hours. By the time I finally got out of bed, afternoon had turned to evening and it was dark outside.I came out in the living room only to find Rhett curled up on the couch napping as well. I gently shook him awake and he came to. He immediately pulled me down into his arms.“I think everything is going to be ok Lynn.”I scoffed, “How could you possibly know that?”“I had a dream. Now before you say anything, I know that sounds crazy, but it seemed so real. In my dream I knew I was Rhea and that I had been crying. Link had been holding me and telling me it was going to be ok. And that I was ok. I, I mean Rhea, felt so safe and loved.”I stared at him for a minute processing the whole thing. I didn’t happen to believe that dreams had any inherent meaning but he seemed so certain that this was real.He said, “It’s going to be ok… I really think…”“You know I’m going to miss you, right?” I said interrupting him.We both stared at one another in stunned silence.I said, “I realize that’s ridiculous but I...”Rhett then interrupted me with the gentlest of kisses.He said, “When I get back… well who knows? Maybe this is a permanent portal. Once we figure this out once, it may be possible to figure it out again.”I nodded.Then I asked the question that had been eating at me since this whole thing started.“Do you think Rhea knows that I love her?”Rhett thought carefully and nodded.“Sometimes I don’t know. I’m so bad at getting gifts and remembering important dates. And I’m terrible at cooking. Sometimes I feel like a romantic failure, you know?”Rhett started to laugh and shake his head.“Honestly, and I’d never admit this to his face, I find all of those things a little bit endearing about Link.”I considered it for a moment and said, “Yeah?”He nodded, “Yeah. Really! It’s the effort that matters. One time, for my birthday, Link found this pizza cake recipe. It’s exactly what you think it is - basically a multi-layered pizza. Completely brilliant right?”I nodded.“So Link decides, in a moment of insanity probably, to try to make this. Except, ya know, Link is like you. He’s terrible at cooking. It’s pretty notorious. Thank God for Christy or his children would have scurvy. Anyway, so he stays up all night making this pizza cake - even enlisting the help of his daughter. She, of course, was the brains of the operation.”He continued, “So, he brings this cake into the studio and he’s nervous. He’s so scared I won’t like it or that he somehow messed it up. Of course, I loved it. But even more so, I was so moved by his effort. The fact he did something he not only hates, but causes him anxiety meant the world to me. As he did it just so he could see me smile.”I nodded thoughtfully and said, “That’s definitely something I would do!”“See! That’s what makes Rhea feel loved. You don’t have to be someone you’re not. In fact, she wouldn’t like that. She fell in love with a woman who isn’t good at giving gifts and who is nervous in the kitchen! She doesn’t expect otherwise.”We spent the rest of the night trying to relax. I decided to spoil myself with a bubble bath, a glass of wine, and Rhett.As we crawled into the bed that night, I said “If Link succeeds, just know how much you’ve meant to me. Ok?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I stumbled into the bathroom and got a look at myself in the mirror. I looked like absolute Hell. My eyes were red and puffy from a lot combination of terrible sleep and crying. My hair was an unruly, wavy, disgusting mess.I wandered back into Rhett’s room and got myself dressed. And then I remembered the wavy disaster on my head and threw on a black snapback. It had some kind of very cute rodent with antlers and wings. For some reason it filled me with delight.As I ate breakfast, I sensed Link looking me over with a concerned expression on his face.“You didn’t sleep well last night. I felt you tossing and turning. Are you ok?”And at that moment, the same standard lie came rolling out of my mouth.“I’m just a light sleeper.”I had just gotten so used to lying about my anxiety and it had become such standard fare that I barely even realized I was doing it.It wasn’t that I was trying to deceive anyone. I just worried that my worries, anxieties, and stresses would be a burden to others. And the last thing I wanted was to bother anyone with my issues.So I lied to him like I lied to everyone. I would tell people that Lynn is a cuddler and that keeps me awake. Or maybe I just drink too much tea at night. Or I’m just an awful sleeper.But I knew none of that was true. The truth was I didn’t sleep at night because I knew that something deep down in the foundation of my soul was broken.It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy my life. I loved my work, I loved Lynn, and I was generally a happy person. And people, generally, liked me. But at night this nagging feeling crept up into my head. I knew that I was secretly a monster and that, eventually, everyone else would figure it out too. And then I would be alone.I tossed and turned at night, fixated on the same questions. Does life have meaning? Who am I? Am I wasting my life? Should I have made different choices?Maybe I should have stuck with modeling. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to school to become a librarian. Maybe I would have made a better engineer or filmmaker. Maybe I should have just pretended to be straight, married a man, and been a stay at home mom. At least then my family would have been happy.But honestly, it didn’t matter what road I looked down - they all felt like the wrong choice. Like no matter what path I chose, it would be the wrong one.And then it hit me. This was a cosmic level joke that had been played on me.I grabbed Link’s hand and almost excitedly exclaimed, “This whole thing is my fault!”He tilted his head in confusion and said, “What do you mean?”“This is exactly what I always wanted! My whole life I’ve beaten myself up over the what-ifs - wondering if I had made the right choices. It’s like, a cosmic joke! Don’t you see?”He shook his head and stared at me like I was crazy.“You think you are having an existential crisis so bad, that you broke the universe?”“I don’t know, but I don’t know what else would have caused this. You saw all the things I researched. What happened here is impossible, or, at least not explainable by physics.”Link just stared at me in total disbelief. He then walked over to the cabinet, poured himself a bowl of cereal, and sat back down.I crossed my arms in annoyance, and said “You don’t have anything to say? You’re just going to sit and eat breakfast like I said nothing.”“I’m just thinking. Mostly about how I’m going to introduce you on our show and explain what happened to the Mythical Beasts. I’m also wondering how I’m going to tell Jessie I lost her husband and how his kids will react to you. I’m also wondering where you’re going to live…”I shook my head in total disgust.I said, “But I figured it out! I’m gonna solve this.”He scoffed.“You’re planning on solving a lifelong, existential crisis, in two days? No offense but…that’s going to be pretty darn difficult, don’t you think?”I sighed. He was right. How the hell were we going to solve a whole lifetime of issues in a matter of forty-eight hours? Link certainly wasn’t a therapist or even remotely qualified to help.But my gut-instinct was telling me that I was on the right track.And with that, I began to research anything I could my hands on related to existential crises, philosophy, and happiness.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
So I dove into everything I could possibly find on the topic online - YouTube videos, blog posts, online texts.I watched Rick and Morty, Cosmos, anything else I thought might give me insight into the universe. I crammed my head full of philosophy for hours.Several times Link had to put food in front of me and make me eat. But otherwise he just left me to my own devices and worked on his own.And after a day of reading, watching, and listening I came to one conclusion - I was completely and utterly screwed.I threw Rhett’s phone and wallowed in my own misery on the couch. Link patiently came over and sat next to me on the couch.“That bad?”I sighed and nodded.All day reading up on existentialism had only given me more questions. And my supposed existential crisis was still raging. I mean, the fact that I’m still in this living room laying on Rhett’s couch should have been evidence enough of my failure.If life had no inherent meaning, why even bother? Nothing I did mattered - my whole life, in essence, was absolutely worthless. All the pain I had experienced, the terrible things that had happened to me, my joys, my work - they meant literally nothing.Link watched as I wallowed in my own misery and nihilism. He looked like he wanted to help but didn’t really know what to do.Finally he said, “I know you’re really upset and I’m sorry. Why don’t I grab us some dinner and we can relax for the rest of the night?”I don’t know that I reacted. Maybe I grunted an acknowledgement but maybe I didn’t. I was way too in my own head and sadness to consider anything outside of my own black void.I remember hearing the door close and the quiet that crept over the house. I crawled off the couch and made my way to Rhett’s room.I pulled the blankets over my body and snagged their book and began to read it.I only made it halfway through when I began to cry. And the more I cried the more pathetic I felt. Link must have gotten back at some point, because he popped his head in and immediately came over to the bed.He glanced and the book, and back at me.“I don’t think anyone’s reacted to our book quite like this. Why are you crying?”Between sobs I choked out, “He’s fucking perfect and I’m such a failure.”Link looked at me in confusion.He said, “Who’s perfect? I don’t understand.”I just kept sobbing and said, “He’s handsome, smart, quirky, and perfect! He’s had the perfect life and is so so loved! I’m none of those things.”Link clearly began to piece together what I was talking about.He said, “Wait, Rhett? You’re talking about Rhett?”I nodded and wiped my eyes. It didn’t help though because the tears just kept flowing.Link looked at me and began to laugh. And not just a small laugh but a squealing high pitched laughter that shook his body. He held his chest tight and wiped his own, albeit happier, tears out of his eyes.He said, “Good Lord, Rhett isn’t perfect. Rhett is far from it. Yes - he’s quirky, smart, fun, and my absolute best friend. I love him more than life itself. But he’s also a huge pain in the ass. Did you know he once picked a fight with a child for mispronouncing La Croix? He does crap like post about getting into a car accidents on Twitter instead of telling me! He says the stupidest shit all the time and then pretends it was well thought out. He’s ridiculous.”I looked down at the book and frowned.He said, “This book is like the Instagram view of our lives. It’s all true. But it doesn’t include our self doubts, our flaws, our problems, and any of those other things that make us both terribly human. I know it’s probably easy to idealize a stranger. You see all these amazing things about Rhett but without the context of knowing him.”My tears began to slow and I said, “I guess I read this because… I just wanted to know what I should do.””I’m sorry, this isn’t a very good how-to guide. It’s not a manual on living. It’s just some ideas we wrote down and things we’ve learned. This book isn’t intended to tell you how to live your life. It’s only here to urge you, to beg you, to find your own answers, take your own chances, mess up and try again. That’s all.”He put his arm around me and gently said, “I know you want answers. Who doesn’t? But Rhett doesn’t have the answers and neither do I! No one does. That’s the best and worst part about being human. The more we learn the more we realize how hopelessly lost we all are.”I leaned into his shoulder and asked, “Does Rhett ever doubt?”Link nodded and said, “All the time.”“Do you?”Link nodded and said, “Can I give you some serious advice though? Something it took me a long time to learn?”He said, “You’ve honestly got to stop giving so many craps! I hate tomatoes. Do I sit around wondering if I’m a bad person because I don’t like them? NO. I pick them off of my salad and move on. I hate social media. Do I force myself to use it because that’s what other people want? Hell no. I’m too busy giving a crap about what matters: my creativity, my family, my business, and my best friend.”I looked at him and felt a warmness in my heart. He was so much like Lynn and his advice was similar to what she would tell me. Usually when she said this kind of thing, I’d roll my eyes and scoff.But hearing it from Link finally made it real. All the philosophies I had read had said similar things. There may be no inherent reason for existing but exist nonetheless. And just be your authentic self.He said, “You can’t mess this up Rhea. It’s your life and you get to live it how you want to. You’ve got this. You just need to believe in yourself. And let yourself live your life - not the life you think you should be living, but the one you want to.”I snuggled into his arms harder and said, “You’ve helped a lot, thank you.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Halfway through dinner, Link jumped up to grab a bottle of wine and some glasses. As I realized he was pouring me a glass, I had a decision to make.I stuttered, “Oh, ummmm, I can’t.”He squirmed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”I tilted my head and realized what he was assuming and I laughed. I was a huge wine fan but I just couldn’t at the moment.I smiled and said, “How could you have known? Hell, I didn’t know until a week ago!”He stared at me for a moment before it finally clicked. He leaned in and whispered, “Wait… are you expecting.”I nodded and said, “You’re literally the first person I’ve told.”His eyes grew wide.“No wonder you’re having such an existential crisis! And Lynn doesn’t know?”“No. I had a miscarriage the last time we tried and it was so hard on her. Well on both of us. I felt like such a failure that I just gave up. But then, well I went back to our… donor… and I wanted it to be a surprise. I wasn’t sure if it was going to even stick but I took the ole pee test just a couple of days before all of this. I was waiting until I knew for sure. Of course, now, maybe she’ll never know.”Link reached across the table and took my hand.“We are going to get you home! We will figure this out.”I sighed and said, “And what if we don’t?”Link looked off thoughtfully and said, “Well, then I guess I’ll be welcoming a surprise fourth child into my family.”I swallowed hard, both touched and shocked by the casual way he was willing to welcome me into his family. I let go of his hands and tried to focus on dinner.I broke our silence.I asked, “What’s it like?”He said, “What’s what like?”I sighed and fidgeted nervously.“Being a parent.”He said, “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And the hardest. It’s like handing over your life and your heart to another person. Or in my case, 3 other people. Well, more like 5 if you count Rhett’s kids.”We spent the rest of the night on the couch relaxing and watching random things on Netflix. As the night drew on and I grew more tired, I began to move closer to Link until I was laying in his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and I felt like I was in heaven.I said, “You know, I was kinda surprised to learn you two weren’t married!”Link laughed and said, “Everyone is! But no I’m very happily married to my wife. And even though Rhett and I are both in open relationships we’ve never gone there.”I giggled. “You are soooo into Rhett! It’s so obvious.”He turned red and said, “I am not!”“Come on. The way your eyes light up when you talk about him? The way you bitch about him? And that book is practically a two way love letter.”Link rolled his eyes and muttered, “Whatever.”I suddenly pulled Rhett’s sweater to my nose and asked, “Do you think I smell like him?”Link leaned in, inhaled, and smiled.I giggled and said, “Gotcha!”He blushed and sighed, “Crap, maybe you’re right.”I said, “He doesn’t know does he?”He crossed his arms and said, “He knows I love him!”“Ok but does he know you love him.”Link looked away nervously.I asked, “Why not tell him? You’re in an open relationship and you’ve known each other for how long? Like three decades?”“It’s complicated! I love my wife. And I love Rhett. And honestly they’re the only two people I’ve ever really been in love with.”I shrugged and said, “Ok, so how is that complicated? That seems fine to me.”He said, “Yeah?”I nodded.A while later I noticed that Link had fallen asleep - open mouthed and snoring quietly. I watched him and thought of Lynn. This was an almost nightly occurrence for us - I’d lay on her lap and she’d fall asleep. Usually I’d poke her awake and drag her to bed but that felt rude to do to Link.So I carefully removed myself and went to Rhett’s bedroom to sleep. I felt much more at peace than I had the night before and managed to get to sleep without too much mental resistance.I knew that whatever happened, I would be ok.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
So, when I woke up early the next morning in that same strange yet familiar room, it was ok.I decided to quietly make myself a cup of ginger tea and enjoy the chilled morning air.As I watched the sunrise, I wondered when the last time I had done this was. No responsibilities, no obligations - just me and the morning.The morning was so beautiful and I felt comforted. Of course I missed Lynn and wanted to get home - desperately so. But for the first time in a long time I felt content.I heard the door creak open and Link sat down beside me on the porch.He said, “It’s beautiful.”I nodded and sipped my tea.He looked and me, smiled, and said, “I know this sounds crazy but hear me out. What do you thinkabout going into the office today?”I smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m ok here by myself today. No problem.”And he shook his head no and said, “No, I mean with you!”I furrowed my brow.I said, “How are you going to… you know… explain my existence?”He shrugged and casually said, “I’ll tell everyone you’re my friend. No lie there.”I felt myself blush and smile. But then reality hit me.I said, “Link, what if I never get home?”We both sat in silence for a moment, pausing on that thought, and what it would mean.“I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. But for now, you’re my friend and I wanted to show you the office!”When we arrived at the office, things were fairly quiet. It was still early, and we were easily able to slip into Link’s office without anyone seeing us.I looked around in awe of the beautiful space. Everywhere I looked screamed of their friendship. I smiled brightly as I looked at old posters hanging on the walls. It was similar to our office but not quite the same.Link sat at his desk and I hesitated before sitting at Rhett’s. It was a strange feeling to be sitting at this desk. Things seemed so familiar and, different enough to be disorienting.For the past two days, Rhett had seemed abstract - someone who existed in photos and stories but was unreal. The book version of him seemed so perfect but sitting at his desk? He seemed so… ordinary.And then it hit me. Rhett McLaughlin was just a person - a messy, sometimes wonderful, sometimes terrible, real person.I wondered about his hopes, his dreams and the things that made his heart pound. I wondered if, like me, he threw his entire self into his interests - almost to the point of mild obsession.Or if he got jealous when guests paid more attention to Link, was afraid of spiders, or pretended to be way more badass than he was, like I often did.And I wondered if he would like me.The office door open and I almost went into a panic, until I saw Link acting casually. I began to calm down, as he introduced me to Stevie.She was so much like our Stevie it was uncanny - including her signature badass swagger.“It’s so nice to meet you, Rhea,” She said embracing me.“Rhea has been staying with me this week. I thought I’d let her hang out here, especially since Rhett is… well you know.”Stevie nodded gravely and said, “Gosh I really hope he gets better soon. We only have a few more episodes lined up.”And then suddenly she smiled and looked at me to add, “Although, you’re a tall blonde and you kinda even look like Rhett! We could just put you on.”I nervously stuttered, “Oh gosh… well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that!”She laughed and said, “No pressure! Anyway you enjoy your time here.”She closed the door and I let out a loud sigh of relief.Link looked over at me and we both began to laugh.He said, “Hey, you know despite all this time we have spent together, I don’t know anything about you. I mean other than you look like a spitting image of my best friend and that you get very excited and chew your nails when you watch Rick and Morty. And you read my book so I don’t think that’s fair.”I went to argue and looked down at my nails and decided to stay quiet.I asked, “Well, Link, what would you like to know about me?”He thought for a moment and asked, “Well, where did you meet Lynn?”I laughed and said, “First grade, ask me something you don’t know.”He sat and considered.“When did you know you were in love with her?”I thought for a moment before answering, “Well, I think I’ve been in love with her for a long time. When we were little, I’d cherish every note passed in class. We would swap clothing and I’d be so excited over how they’d smell like her. When we were in middle school she wanted to practice kissing so we would kiss all the time. I’d make excuses to practice and it would make my heart pound in my chest.”I continued, “Every time I’d date a guy I’d just think how much better Lynn was. And I’d get so jealous when she told me liked a random guy. But when I really realized I loved her? When I went to college.See I had spent a summer modeling in Slovenia. The money was great but Lynn really wanted me to come home. I was miserable and… well some things happened… the point being that Lynn wanted me to come home early and get ready for our freshman year. I got back home just in time for us to decorate the dorm together. And that first night… well I realized I was in love.”I sighed, “I can’t imagine my life without Lynn. She’s always been my light in the dark - my lighthouse. I know that’s cheesy but…”He said, “Love is pretty cheesy no matter how you look at it.”“True.”That day we spent gossiping about our lives - our marriages, college, and life in rural North Carolina.I watched their old episodes and Link laughed along with me.I teased him about his chemistry with Rhett and how obvious Rhett’s crush was.“Seriously how do you not see that Rhett is into you?! Go back. HE BIT HIS LIP AND STARED.”Link said, “Well, maybe it was an accident…”I burst out laughing so hard I could barely breath.“How do you accidentally bite your bottom lip and look someone up and down?”As we drove back to Rhett’s house that night, I missed Lynn. I missed the way she would sing in the car, the way she’d fuss about food, and even the way she hogged the blankets.Link seemed to sense my shift in mood and suggested we have a sleepover in the living room. We managed to find two sleeping bags, popcorn, and settled in to watch some movies.His fatal error was telling me that we could watch anything I wanted. So, of course, I picked the most ridiculous thing I could find.So we endured the first three Evil Bong movies until even my B-Movie loving heart couldn’t stand it anymore.As we turned off the lights and climbed into our respective sleeping bags I asked, “When do you think you last had a sleepover with Rhett?”Link chuckled and said, “Gosh, not since we were sharing hotel beds. And before you get any ideas we didn’t do anything. We were just broke so we were trying to save money.”“But I bet you liked it, even if it was just to save money.”He said, “I plead the fifth.”I laughed, “I’m sure you do!”The last thing I remember was how comfortable I felt as I drifted off to sleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Link:I awoke to the sound of the door flying open.Jessie said, “Wow. This place is a mess! Good morning Link. You might want to text Christy that you’re here so she doesn’t worry. We left early because Lando has a heck of a stomach ache.”My heart began to pound and I felt at the brink of a panic attack when she said, “Hey hun, can you help with the stuff?”I turned over and saw a very groggy Rhett trying to piece together where he was.As soon as Jessie left the room we threw our arms around each other.I said, “I wasn’t sure I was ever going to see you again!”He laughed and said, “I had faith in you Linkster. I knew you’d figure this out.”I pulled away and said, “You know I love you right?”He nodded.“No, but I mean, love you.”He looked around and snuck me a gentle kiss on the lips.Before I could react he was jumping up to help with the bags.I texted Christy.
Hey hun. I’ll be home soon! How is Lando?
He’s puking up a storm but he’ll be ok. How was your week?
I considered my reply.
Boring. Missed you.
***************Lynn:I woke up to kisses covering my face. My eyes cracked open and it took a moment to register who I was looking at. I was gazing at the most beautiful woman I had ever seen straddling me and crying.I sat up and explained, “Rhea? Rhea is that you?”She nodded and tears flowed down her cheeks.A rolled on top of her and looked down at her beautiful messy blonde hair and tear streaked face. I covered her in kisses and held her in my arms.She choked out, “I never thought I’d see you again.”“I’m here babe and I love you so much. And I’m so happy you’re back. I missed you so much!”She sat up and looked very serious for a moment.“Hey babe. I have to tell you something.”I looked at her in concern and said, “Hey babe whatever happened is ok.”She shook her head and said, “I visited Mark a couple of months ago.”I tilted my head in confusion. Why would she have visited our old donor?She said, “I know we wanted a baby so bad.”A wave of sadness smacked me. I wanted desperately to be a mother but I didn’t want us to go through that horrible pain all over again.She smiled and said, “Well...Lynn. We are going to be moms! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before I just didn’t want, I don’t know, to jinx it?”I felt my heart flutter and tears began to pour down my face. I kissed and and touched her stomach gently.“I get you back and we are going to be moms? This is the best day ever.”Rhea smiled and said, “If it’s a boy, can we name him Charles?”I laughed and said, “Deal!”