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Opening the door was simple. An everyday task that everyone has done. Yoongi knew this, so why couldn't he open the door? He stood in the doorway for what seemed like hours. He stood there so long he began to memorize the paint chips, and even the little knocks in the wood from being opened and closed so many times.Maybe he stayed behind the closed door to protect himself from what was on the other side. What was on the other side anyway? What was so painful that a grown man would try so hard to avoid seeing? As we age our theories change. When we're young we imagine an ugly fanged-tooth monster with red eyes and sharp claws. As we get a little bit older we imagine a world of Narnia where all of our dreams come true. Soon enough we grow too old and come to realize that there are no monsters, or Narnia's. So why was the door still closed? Yoongi's mind traveled to the times that he was so happy to open the door, to the times where opening doors meant new adventures and warmth. Yoongi can remember the first time that he opened this very door, it was their wedding night, October 17th. Jimin had just turned 19, and Yoongi insisted that they wait for a while, but when Jimin wanted something, Jimin got it. It was cold, and the wind howled unapologetically, none the less they were happy. The wedding wasn't glamorous in the slightest, they practically ran to the court house and within 2 hours they were married. Jimin was wearing a blue long sleeved shirt that had a toothpaste stain, and Yoongi was wearing his converse that had been worn to the point of almost falling apart, but they were happy. As they ran towards their beaten up apartment Yoongi caught sight of their land lord. "Mr. Kim do you remember the offer you made me on apartment 3B?" Yoongi asked in the steadiest voice he could. "Yes, why?" Mr. Kim's old tired voice never seemed so clear. "Yoongi what's going on?" Jimin asked with his head tilted to the side. "I have the deposit right here, and I'd like to move." Yoongi stated confidently before handing over $800 that he'd been saving for 4 months. Mr. Kim took the money from his hand but Young was so happy he didn't see the rudeness of the gesture, he was just happy to be moving in so quickly, "Yes of course son, here's the key." Mr. Kim made a dash for the door, as if worrying Yoongi might change his mind. "We're moving? To apartment 3B? That's the second floor Yoongi! Did you plan this?" Jimin asked with the brightest smile on his beautiful face. "Actually no." They ran up the 5 flights of creaky stairs without anything but the clothes on their back, and a key. Jimin shoved the key into the door and took a deep breath of air when the door opened. Jimin turned to Yoongi with tears in his eyes, he didn't say anything but Yoongi could tell he was happy from the way his sobs mixed with his giggles. - The next time that he can remember opening the door was when Jimin called him crying. It was a Friday afternoon and Yoongi ran out of the busy restaurant of which he worked, his managers loud voice echoed in his head as he ran the four blocks to their apartment. The five flights he had to run seemed to fly out from under his feet. When he reached the floor, it wasn't long before the door was thrown open without any thought."Jimin?" His call sent unanswered, but he found Jimin curled under the kitchen table. To say Jimin looked wrecked was an understatement. His hair was messy, his cheeks seemed to be raw from all the tears, and his eyes were bloodshot from the saltiness of his tears. Without a second to collect his thoughts, Yoongi was under the table, "Baby what happened?" Jimin pulled Yoongi close by his shirt, and cried some more. Yoongi wrapped his arms around Jimin as if it were an instinct. A chorus of 'sh's' and 'don't worry baby's' filled the kitchen for the next hour. When Jimin was finally able to speak again he was scared of how Yoongi was going to react to the news. Jimin was so ashamed he couldn't even say the words. He pulled the pregnancy test out from his pocket and let it speak for him. "You're pregnant?" Yoongi asked taking the test into his hands. Jimin nodded and looked down at the floor as if he were ashamed of what happened. A large hand came in contact with Jimin's chin, and he was forced to look Yoongi in the eyes. "You're carrying our child!" When Yoongi smiled so hard his gums were fully exposed Jimin knew everything was going to be ok. It had been so long since Yoongi actually smiled Jimin couldn't let the moment be ruined. -A scream called Yoongi back to the current situation. Jimin needed him, but Yoongi wasn't sure he could be there for him. Yoongi knew how fragile Jimin was, could Yoongi handle him with the care he needed? When they went to the doctor Jimin acted so hysterical that it scared Yoongi. It took two words for Jimin to break apart, but it took the same amount for Yoongi to fall apart. How do you take news like that? What happens afterward? What were they supposed to do? Not once had they even considered this to be a possibility, but here it was staring them in the face. "You miscarried." How can you be there for someone who just lost a child? Yoongi knew it was his child too, but it was different for Jimin. The baby was inside of him, he felt it growing, he felt it moving, he was connected to the child in a way that Yoongi never could be, and he just lost it. Yoongi understood why Jimin was so emotionally damaged. That didn't mean he was ready for it. Today they removed the baby completely from him. There was no proof that the baby even existed. Their happiness was so short lived, and they just removed the child from their lives. They hadn't even told their families, the time they had together was so short. Too short. Gathering his courage Yoongi opened the door that seemed to separate him from reality. He wasn't surprised by what he saw. Jimin was on the floor holding a pacifier in his hand, his shirt was wet from how long he'd been crying. Jimin looked up from the pacifier to Yoongi. "Why me? Why does it always have to be me?" Jimin's voice was so strained it pulled at Yoongi's heart. "I don't know, but we can do this. We can make it past this ok?" "I know. That's what makes it so horrible. I killed our baby, and in five years, it won't matter." Yoongi sat in front of Jimin, "You didn't kill our baby Jimin, they died. It wasn't your fault." Jimin scoffed, "I know you think it's my fault too, I heard what you said to Namjoon, don't act like you don't blame me!" Yoongi was so taken back it prevented him from speaking. "I'm sorry I did this to you ok? I'm sorry I killed our baby! I hate myself for it, but look at us! We couldn't take care of a child." Yoongi grabbed Jimin's tiny hands and looked him in the eyes, "I didn't mean what I said, I just - I needed to handle it, and I hate myself for saying those things, but listen to me Park Jimin, it wasn't your fault. Neither of us are going to blame either of us ok? Nothing could've prevented this, and you and I aren't going to let this ruin us ok?" "Promise?" "I promise baby, you're the love of my life and I'm not going to let this ruin us, we're so much stronger than this, and we'll make it through."