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Blinking to banish the dancing spots from his vision, Chris continued to stare at the ceiling of his bedroom, all the while wondering when things had started to get so strange. After that night of the 4th of July everything had seemed to fall into place. Rachel agreed to go on another date with him, things between Adam and him were all sorted out and they were back to normal, Adam had started dating Matt… The perfect happy ending, right? Yeah.Glancing at his phone blaring Avicii's 'Waiting for Love', Chris turned off his alarm, sighing as he saw the date. Nearly October and things had once again changed completely. Adam, who had been so ecstatic about dating Matt, had broken things off a couple of days ago, apparently fed up. Though with what exactly, Chris had no idea, since Adam was his once again tight lipped, shy self about his relationship or more like the lack thereof and its reason. Not that he'd talked about their sex life before, but he had recounted their dates enthusiastically.And him and Rachel? They should still be going strong. She was gorgeous, intelligent and funny. Also totally normal and not insane like Jessica had been, so really, what was not to like? And Nick and Ortu had told him he was great boyfriend material. Which, yeah, didn't have to mean much, what with them being his friends, but that was exactly why he could be sure they were telling the truth. They had grown up together and, thanks to their poker nights, he was familiar with each of their tells when they were lying. So he had known what to look for, while asking them. And the both of them had been absolutely fucking sincere. So, what was the problem, right? Well, things between him and Rachel had just fizzled out. No sexual spark left at all. They could hang out and have fun, but that's where things ended. 'Cause the sex had started to get boring and awkward, what with him having trouble getting interested enough to get it up at all. Not that Rachel had been more into it than he'd been the last couple of times. And considering this, they didn't meet up all too often, both of them more interested in getting on with their lives than keeping their friendly ex updated what was going on.So why had things derailed so completely? Well, not completely, Ortu was still engaged, he and his fiancée were planning a winter wedding enthusiastically. And here he was procrastinating again. As he swung his legs out of his bed to start another morning after too little sleep, he admitted to himself, he knew exactly why things developed like this. Only he didn't want to think about it. Not that he was doing a too great job of it.***"So, spill it, bro! Why did you dump his sorry ass?" Nick was trying to come across sensitive, pulling his best Doc Phil act, without looking like he was giving Adam the third degree. While thoroughly grateful he didn't have to start the interrogation himself, Chris mused it would have come across more altruistic instead of Nick being his nosy, gossipy self, if he hadn't slapped his flat hand on the table to underline his question and stopped giving Adam this intensive look, like he was trying to read his mind."I told you guys, I was fed up with his bullshit.""Yeah, but that's like saying " looking around, grasping for a great comparison, Ortu's gaze landed on Nick's beer, " you were thirsty and had something to drink. But what did you drink?" Thoroughly pleased with his feat of creativity, Ortu looked at them for approval.Nodding at him, Nick picked up the reigns. "Besides, we always talk about the reasons for our breakups. Like Chris going into detail what a psycho Jessica was.""Come on, Adam, you know you can talk about your relationship and breakup with us. We don't care that he's a dude, you know that, right? It was the first time you seemed to be really invested in a relationship, so we want to know what was going on and if we should plan instead of our next poker night a trip to his neighborhood to slash his tiers and key the paint job."Chris grinned at Adam over his whisky, while Nick and Ortu slapped him on the back to show their support of this new Friday night activity. In fact, going by his gleaming eyes, Nick was already planning how to accomplish it without getting caught. Adam apparently noticed Nick's scheming, too. Because in the next instance he gave Chris the stink eye, slapped Nick on the back of his head followed by a muttered "down boy", then raised his hands in surrender and leaned in the back of their booth."Fine, I'll tell you. Just chill, yeah? I didn't want to bother you with my drama, all right?" He grinned at them.Smiling back, Chris couldn't help himself, "Dude, you're the least dramatic one of us all. Nick on the other hand, man, he's drama personified." Nick made a disgruntled noise, while the others laughed."Okay, so, two reasons. Number one, we were sexually incompatible. The sex we did have wasn't very satisfying for either of us and it didn't seem like compromise was likely. And that is all you're getting out of me, at least as long as I can clearly reason and have any inhibition left." Adam waved their protests down. If he would have been a referee at one of the hockey games they liked to watch, he would have blown his whistle and dished out yellow-red card combinations to all three of them. "Number two, and that's what really annoys the crap outta me, is that during those nearly three months we were dating? He wouldn't go out in public with me. Once, we went to the movies and on our way back met a colleague of his. He introduced me as a friend. After that, date night always occured either at his or my place. You know, cooking for the other, trying out new take-out places, having movie nights. And before you ask, he was out at work and among his family and friends. That was one of the things we had talked about early on, how different our coming outs were. So, the problem wasn't that nobody knew he was gay. He was just ashamed of being seen with me, of folks knowing we were a couple. He didn't say it in so many words, but when I confronted him about it, it became clear he was concerned about his image at work, what his friends and family would say since, you know, I'm just a mechanic instead of having an engineering degree. At first I thought we could work on his attitude, but nope. He didn't have a problem with how things were between us. My boyfriend being embarrassed about me? Not something I'm willing to put up with, so I dumped his sorry ass." With that, Adam concentrated on finishing off his beer.Chris stared at Ortu and Nick, momentarily at a loss for words, asking them through various grimaces to step in."Shots! This definitely calls for shots," was apparently the solution Nick came up with, slapping his hand on the table repeatedly. "And you're not buying for the rest of the night.""That's right. Pitty shots for you, bro. This shit clearly qualifies, unlike every breakup with Jessica Chris tried to sell us. And don't even try, Chris," Ortu wagged a finger in his face, "you weren't emotionally invested, any time, so she couldn't have scarred you!""Actually, she did scar me." Raising his voice to talk above their groaning, he clarified, "I mean quite literally. We were having sex and suddenly she bit me in my shoulder and drew blood, 'cause she was so pissed off. No idea what it was, but then, she never made much sense. Anyway, that wasn't what I was going to say. I was just thinking how this clearly required more than just some slashed tires, right? It's more of a 'let's slash his brake lines' kind of situation."Nick had first mustered him with a disdainful stare, but was now nodding thoughtfully, while Ortu looked questioningly at Adam, who was shaking his head slowly, clearly amused."No way. None of you know what brake lines even look like. I'm the one who always exchanges your brake fluid and I'm sure as hell not going to sabotage my ex's car. But I'll take the shots. It's about time someone besides Chris gets free pitty shots.""I'll pay the first round." Whit that Nick made his way up to the bar and started to elbowed his way past everyone who happened to be in his way to accomplish his mission."Are you sure you don't want to cut those brake lines? The dude is a total douche. I can't believe how long you put up with him!" Chris knew Adam had already made up his mind, still it couldn't hurt to double check."Thanks for having my back. But still, let's keep getting arrested for murder on our bucket list for some other time. Besides," flashing a shit eating grin his way, "pott, kettle. One word: Jessica.""You're not going to let me live that one down, are you?""Nah, not in the next couple of months. We were never sure whether you were on or off again and directly after that came Rachel, so we couldn't rib you about her then, could we?""Fair enough. But, in my defense, I gotta say, the sex we had was amazing.""And that, my friends, is why Chris is a skank," declared Nick, who had just returned with their drinks. "Bottoms up."***All of a sudden Chris eyes flashed open, as he came with a shuddering groan into his boxers. The image of Adam above him was still flashing through his mind. Groaning, he rubbed his face with his hands. Shit. Another dream about Adam. God damn it, what was wrong with him? Adam was his best friend, for fuck's sake. Only, some part of his psyche seemed to vigorously disagree with that notion. Ever since their kiss at the 4th of July he had those dreams about Adam and himself.As if that wasn't bad enough, the last couple of weeks he'd started wondering about what ifs. What if Adam had kissed him back? What if Adam had told him it had felt like kissing his best friend only with added sparks and fireworks, the whole nine yards? What if he had told Adam that's what he had felt? What if he had asked Adam to actually give them a shot? But he'd been so shocked by just how good that simple chaste press of lips had felt, that he'd only managed not to stare totally blown away at Adam. Instead he'd been a chicken and passed the ball into Adam's court, murmuring something about how it'd felt to him, hoping Adam would manage to make it all make sense. Only Adam didn't. Instead he totally blindsided Chris. Because, apparently, Adam hadn't felt anything special.Chris chuckled bitterly. Boy, karma could be a bitch. It figured he would realize, not only that he was bisexual but had the hots for his best friend, after being a total jerk to said friend because he had thought his friend had come onto him (which should have made Chris think about them as a potential couple instead of sticking his head into the sand and running to Jessica). And to top it off, the irony of their roles being reversed, Adam friendzoning Chris. He should be happy he hadn't done anything stupid to make things awkward again. But those what ifs had reared their ugly had that night. Maybe Adam had hoped Chris would object to his assessment, just like he had hoped Chris would say something different, or after that, change his mind. Instead he had started dating Matt, the douche. So he had called Rachel. And look how great that had worked out for everyone.Sighing Chris let his hands drop beside him. Well, one thing was for certain, his feelings weren't going to change. He was in love with his best friend. And he was sure they would be great together. He could do better than Matt, anyway, that was a given. Maybe needed to show Adam, make him shift his perspective. If he could show him, that, really, Chris was great boyfriend material, all would work out, he was sure. Relieved, he started to get out of bed to use the rest of his Sunday to figure out how to exactly promote his qualities, only to be reminded of his too happy dream by the cold, itchy mess in his shorts. God, he'd thought he'd left those days behind him together with puberty. Grimacing, he decided to rearrange his priorities slightly. Shower first. Knocking Adam off his feet with his awesomeness, second.***This should be easy, right? He had enough dating experience to know what to do and he knew Adam better than his own shadow. So why had he been staring into blank space for the last 30 minutes instead of hammering out ideas leading the way to Adam's heart? Maybe he needed to go back to rudimentary dating? Starting a new list on his note app, Chris began typing in things he needed to remember to avoid falling back into his and Adam's usual pattern of a bro's night out. One important key ingredient was definitely the two of them being among themselves. Sighing in frustration, Chris scratched his stomach. Well, he didn't like excluding their other friends and it wouldn't be easy to deter them from tagging along, but sacrifices had to be made. He would have to think of something they would hate to come along… Then their date needed to be in a public place, to underline he wasn't ashamed of being seen with Adam, like that douche, but not in their usual hang out spots, otherwise Adam wouldn't realize they were on a date. Shit. Chris grimaced as he became aware of his next obstacle. He didn't know any restaurants they would like where they didn't already eat regularly. The cheesecake factory had been Jessica's favorite spot. If he never had to set foot into it again it would be too soon. Rachel had been into all kind of salad bars. Yeah, no, definitely not. Adam would ask him whether he was sick, if he tried to take him there voluntarily. Slightly frazzled, Chris booted up his laptop. Surely there had to be a restaurant with normal food and normally sized portions where you could spend a nice evening that the boys and he hadn't yet discovered?***As Chris smiled at Adam as they settled down at their table, he scowled internally. Apparently they had managed to find every single good joint on their own. Therefore, he'd settled for a little Indian place who'd only opened recently.While Adam studied his menu, Chris kept steeling glances at him, until he completely forgot to look away and just outright stared at him, admiring how good he looked tonight. The thing was, rationally, Chris was aware and could tell Adam hadn't put much thought into his styling for their dinner. His green button-down he was wearing over that black band-shirt wasn't chosen because it highlighted his eyes, but simply because it had been lying on an armchair and been the next best thing to wear when Chris had come to pick him up. Those tight jeans which showed off his amazing ass? They had shrunk after washing and Adam only wore them if he forgot to do laundry and hadn't any other jeans left. As for the artfully tousled hair, well it was just what it looked after a day of work and not being recently brushed."Chris?" Adam looked at him expectantly."Huh?" Chris tore his gaze away and noticed the hovering server, apparently waiting for his order. "Oh, yeah. Sorry, my mind was miles away. I'll have the chicken masala."He passed the time it took for their meals to arrive by updating him on the latest crazy marketing ideas of his boss, then switched the focus on Adam."So, how are things at the shop? Any change in your top ten list?" A couple of months after talking about all the exotic cars he was working on, the guys had convinced Adam to make a list ranking his top ten by being the most expensive, rare, classic or souped-up cars he'd ever worked on. Chris still couldn't decide whether he liked the Bentley from the 1930s with its steering wheel on the left side or the souped-up orange Toyota Supra, a clear homage to the Fast & the Furious and Brian O'Conner better …"Nah, nothing worth mentioning in that department. But if you're interested in weird, I've got something for you. A silver SUV came in this afternoon. The guy driving it looked pretty normal, late forties. Then he tells me he's sure I won't be able to help him, but his pastor told him to try a mechanic. Turns out the guy thinks his car has been cursed by his angry wife and he's sure it's possessed by a demon. Apparently he can hear it screaming in its demonic language whenever he drives the car. So he tried to have it exorcized by his pastor, who I'm pretty sure, just went along with it to get rid of him, all to no avail. Still screaming demon. That's when the pastor has the bright idea to send him to a mechanic.""You're shitting me. That did not happen." He stared at Adam incredulously."Nope. Possessed SUV guy did happen. Though I had to make sure I wasn't hallucinating after he told me what his problem was." He shrugged, then grinned at Chris as if saying, 'crazy people, what can you do'."So, what was your diagnosis? Demonic possession or something more mundane?""You'd like that wouldn't you? Sorry to disappoint you, but once I actually started the car and heard the noises for myself it was fairly easy to determine what was up. The muffler he'd installed wasn't made for his car model. I've got no idea how he managed to bring it on at all, because it shouldn't fit. We had a fitting model at the shop, so I installed it. The whole time the owner was looking at me pityingly, like I was the crazy one. You should have seen his incredulous face once his car didn't make any strange noises any longer. I think he was actually disappointed!""Well, don't worry about ruining his day, that's definitely the funniest thing I've heard today.""Glad to be of service. Still, I get my daily dose of religious craziness from Martha and that's more than enough. So, it would be great not have to deal with it at work. Though I have to admit, it makes for a great story.""I think it's amazing every time you talk about fixing a car. You really have an understanding of their inner works, it's like you're some kind of car whisperer." Chris was probably sporting a soppy smile right now, but he didn't care."Well, thanks. Maybe if you guys actually paid attention when I check up your cars, you'd improve your own skills." He grinned teasingly. "It's truly tragic how stumped you get if you need to do anything else but change your oil or wiper fluid.""I'll have you know that I'm far more knowledgeable than that. I can also exchange a tire." Chris sniffed theatrically. Then he noticed their waiter was approaching with their bill. Before Adam had a chance to even glance at it, he picked it up. As Adam made a move to get out his wallet, Chris waved him away."It's fine. My treat today." He smiled softly at Adam, who shrugged."Okay, thanks. Our next dinner is on me, then." Well damn.*** Back at home, Chris was once again staring at his ceiling, thinking about their evening out. Okay, clearly, it was more difficult to have Adam see him and their dinners as anything more than friendly than he'd imagined. He'd never paid attention to it before, but retrospective he could see how Adam might have trouble to differentiate the two situations of bro's having something to eat and a dinner date, since you know, it wasn't actually unusual for either of them to treat the other. As for complimenting Adam, well, surely he deserved to know when Chris admired his new leather jacket or boots or thought he was looking especially fit thanks to his work outs, didn't he? Friends told each other stuff like that. Well at least they did. Come to think of it, while he did compliment Nick and Ortu on cool stuff like Ortu's new play station, those compliments weren't as personal as the ones he'd give Adam. So how was Adam to notice anything was different, if Chris had always treated him that way, like they were on a date. Kind of hard to top that. The only good thing was that Adam did exactly the same thing. So, it had to mean that at least subconsciously Adam had to find him attractive. Still, he needed to change his strategy. Otherwise they'd continue to not-date into eternity.***"In case you hadn't noticed, you're busted. We know you lied about the wine tasting. So feel free to get as wasted as you need to," Nick pointed to the six-pack Ortu and he'd brought with them, "but you're going to tell us what's going on with you and Adam." With that Nick leaned back into the couch, getting comfortable, as if to let Chris know he wouldn't go anywhere before they got to the bottom of it. Ortu on the other hand leaned expectantly forward, hands clasped above his knees, eyes fixed on him like Chris was some hockey match during the last crucial minutes.Well, this wasn't what Chris had originally planned for this Wednesday evening. Not that doing the laundry had been a pressing appointment, still routine was there for a reason. And Ortu and Nick had crashed it by showing up with a six-pack and frog walking him to his couch."Maybe you both should have one first. I'm not sure you wanna hear this without something to mellow you out a bit.""Quit stalling, we're fine." Ortu grinned at him, while Nick rolled his eyes, as if to say, 'can you believe this drama queen'.Just to spite them, he picked up a bottle for himself and said, as he twisted off the cap. "Right. I'm in love with Adam and I'm trying to make him realize he's in love with me too." Casually he took a sip of beer and for one malicious second, relished in them simultaneously reaching for a bottle, looking like deer caught in the headlights.Ortu was the first to recover. He shook it off himself like a big St Bernad shaking off the rain. "Wait a second, so you're gay now too?" Ortu looked from him to Nick. "Since when is Chris gay?" Nick gestured with his bottle for him to answer the question, apparently still not able to form words."It hasn't to be straight or gay, you know? I think I'm bisexual? I mean, sex with the women I've been with was awesome, so there's that. But ever since our kiss, I can't stop thinking about Adam like that. And I don't really care about what kind of label you want to use, cause really? All things considered, it just doesn’t matter to me. Getting Adam is what's important."That got Nick's attention. A protective look settled on his face. "And what happens after that? It's back to chasing skanks like Jessica?""What? No way, dude! There's no after Adam planned, Nick. I don't just want to fuck him," Chris could feel how he blushed, "or him to fuck me. I'm serious about him." He could see how Nick practically deflated. Tugging at his beard, he shared a look with Ortu, who nodded encouragingly."We don't care about you being bi or gay or whatever. You're our bro, but so's Adam. Have you thought about how complicated everything will be, if things between the two of you go south?""Look, obviously I can't promise that we'll work out. Hell, I can't even guarantee things will even go that far. First I need to convince Adam to give me a shot. Last time, after our kiss, he'd said it was like kissing his brother, so I've got to convince him we've got far more going on. If I can't, well, I'm sure Adam will get over me making a pass after a bit of awkwardness. As for me, I'll have to learn how to deal with being rejected like an adult for a chance. But either way, as far as I'm concerned, Adam's it for me." Chris drummed his fingers self-consciously on his beer bottle. He had known he would have to tell his friends at one point about his feelings for Adam. However, what he'd entirely downplayed in his imagined scenario was how much their approval meant to him. They'd been there at every major event of his live, not having their support now would be crushing. Suddenly strung tight with apprehension, he waited for their verdict."You're an idiot, dude, you know that, yeah? First you were all freaked out when you thought Adam was coming onto you, now you want him to put the moves on you?" Ortu looked at him sympathetically.Slumping back with relief, Chris held up his hands. "I know, I know. But hey, at least that means I already had my freak out about being gay." Nick snorted derisively, but both he and Ortu were grinning at him. As an idea occurred to him, Ortu began to excitedly bounce on the couch."Okay, so what's your battle plan?"***"Everything's ready for tonight." Chris frowned at his mobile."That's great, man. But why are you calling me?""It's hockey night!" Now Nick was stage whispering."I know, I'm coming over later. What's up with you? We never call just to announce we finished our prep for our guys' night." A stray thought snuck up on Chris, dousing him like a cold shower. "Wait have you been calling each other all these years to talk about preparing our guys' nights and not been including me? Dude!""What? No!" He could practically see Nick's exasperated expression, including his eye roll. "I just wanted to see whether you remembered your mission for tonight.""Really? Of course " he started to say, when Nick interrupted him. "Hold on a sec, Ortu's calling. I'll put you on conference call." After a moment's silence he heard Ortu's voice."Hey Nick. Have you spoken with Chris yet?""Ortu, you're on conference call. Chris is also in, I was just talking to him when you called," explained Nick."That's great. So you already went through tonight's objective?" Not pausing for an answer, he continued. "Remember to wear that bluish t-shirt. And before you start to go on about how it's hockey night and you need to wear your lucky shirt, let me say just this: Sacrifices have to be made.""And don't forget those dark jeans! Your ass looks great in them. I'm sure Adam's going to appreciate it." Chimed in Nick."Guys? Slow down, will you. I've got this."***The idea was to launch a campaign to make Adam either realize his suppressed feelings for Chris. Or, if there weren't any feelings prior, then for him to just start fancying Chris now. This was to be achieved by physical and emotional means. Ortu and Nick were adamant that besides lingering looks, more than friendly touches were the way to go. That conversation had been fun.
"Look guys, I really appreciate your help. But, I can't just grab Adam's ass and expect him to fall in love with me. Groping usually makes women slap you and not love you. I doubt things are any different with men, expect maybe to expect a clenched fist instead of a flat hand."
"Not like that, man," chidded Ortu, while Nick was busy facepalming. "You know, like, brushing your knee against his when you sit next to each other, patting his leg and then 'forgetting' your hand there or the classic, putting your arm around him. All that cheesy stuff!" As for the 'lingering looks', well…
"Just continue to do what you already do, but stop looking away before he can catch you," was Nick's sage advice.
"Excuse me? I haven't been staring at Adam!"
"Sure you haven't. Your wandering eyes only happen to get stuck on him nine times out of ten." Looking for help, Chris turned to Ortu beseechingly.
"Sorry dude, but I gotta side with Nick on this one. How Adam managed to be more oblivious than you is beyond me. But hey, in this case it's not something bad, right? Appreciating the beauty of the person you love… "
"Focus Ortu." Nick was snapping his fingers in front of his face to garner his attention. "Stop drifting off to thoughts of your fiancée. We manage to get them together, we both get to be best man at their wedding."
"Hey, you're right. Two dudes ergo two best men, totally awesome!" Nick nodded, content with his own brilliant conclusion.
"As I was saying, keep staring at him until he catches you. Then admit to it followed by a compliment which explains why you were staring at him."
They thought all those touches, looks and conversations would, sooner or later, set off a spark in Adam, get his mind whirling with images of him and Chris together.As for tonight, well his mission was to be more in Adam's space, touch him more and be all-round more physical, topped by wearing more flattering clothes, which seemed to be the tightest shirts and jeans he owned. The guys had arranged themselves on the couch and armchairs so Adam had to sit on the couch with Chris next to him, fitted so close to his side that they were touching from shoulder to knee. He had to give it to Ortu, the guy certainly knew how to lounge when he put his mind to it.Grimacing apologetically, he looked up to Adam. "Well, at least neither of us will get cold if Nick's radiator stops working?""There's that. But, I feel like I'm going to accidentally punch you in the face with one wrong move.""Yeah, accidentally, my ass. I would call it domestic violence. Cause you're still pissed I cleaned you out at our last poker night. Admit it, you just saw your perfect opening for a bit of revenge." Chris grinned and tried to poke Adam in his chest. Focus being on tried. He nearly stabbed him in the eye as he tried to coordinate his limbs in their close proximity. Luckily Adam grabbed his flailing hand before it could do any damage."Domestic violence, huh," teased Adam, making them all laugh.Still, out of the corner of his eye he saw Nick jerking his head in Adam's direction. Steeling himself, Chris took a calming breath. "Okay, point taken. How about we rearrange some of those lethal limbs instead? I seem to recall you making quite a comfy pillow.""Well, since you make quite a comfy armrest, sure." With that Adam carefully lifted his arm and settled it partially on the couch, partially on Chris. Leaning back, Chris patted Adam's tight lightly. "That's the best you can come up with? Weak, dude, weak." Then he promptly forgot his hand was still resting on Adam's leg. On his other side, Ortu poked him approvingly between the ribs and Nick gave him a sneaky thumbs up.***"What? Something wrong with my jeans?" Adam's eyebrows were raised questioningly. He'd just stood up to get himself another beer when he apparently had noticed Chris staring at him."Nah. I was just admiring your ass. Those jeans really suite you." Chris gave him his best boyish smile. Adam blinked a couple of times and flushed slightly before shaking his head."O-kay," he drawled. "Thanks, I guess?""Just telling it as it is. Take the compliment, Adam.""Then, I'll definitely have to wear them on my next date." As Adam walked away into the kitchen, Chris thunked his head back against the couch, while he heard groans from Nick and Ortu.***After another hockey night, one poker night and three movie nights full of some very affectionate touching and compliments, he'd probably was never going to live down, there was no visible change in Adam's behavior towards Chris. Since it was now the beginning of December, the guys had ordered an emergency meeting concerning their lack of results. He had to admit it, his friends were really committed to get him his happily ever after. So he'd ordered some pizza, bought their favorite brand of beer and tried to feel thankful that at least in the friends department, he was truly blessed."I love Adam, he's our bro. You know that, right? But I can't help thinking something's wrong with him! I mean, here's Chris, giving him all the signs, short of throwing himself at him, who's funny, good-looking, financial secure and not some low-life asshole. And what does Adam do?" Before Ortu or he could answer, Nick plowed on. "Nothing! No reaction at all.""I don't think he's ignoring Chris on purpose?" interjected Ortu. "Think about it, it's not that he's had much practice with guys hitting on him. I mean, we helped him with online dating. Maybe Adam is just that oblivious.""So, how do I make him notice me? I start stripping down my clothes the next time he comes around?" asked Chris in exasperation. He had expected his friends to roll their eyes at his antics. Not the look that started to cross Nick's face. He had a faint inkling he wouldn't like what was coming next."You know, you may not be entirely wrong there." As Nick started to explain what he should try next, Chris' eyebrows shot up. Yeah, he'd been right, he didn't like it one bit. Hopefully he would be able not to think about his friends, sitting at home and hoping he'd get lucky, while he tried to seduce Adam.***Hearing his doorbell through the open door, Chris tried to psych himself up. It was ridiculous to be this shy. Adam had seen him like this countless times. After running a wet washcloth quickly over his chest and abs, he stepped out of the bathroom and made his way to the front door. However, he continued his train of thought, that had been before Chris had realized he would prefer them to spend most of their time in such a state of undress. No time to feel self-conscious of his body now. He needed to project laid-back confidence and allure. Making sure his rather small towel was tied securely around his waist, Chris opened the door, a sheepish grin on his lips. "Hey Adam. Sorry for the wait, I just stepped outa the shower." He shrugged apologetically, as he ushered Adam in."Yeah, so I see." Had Adam given him just a once-over? Chris leaned against the door as he rubbed his neck, as if embarrassed by his tardiness, all the while making sure Adam got an eyeful of his abs, should he choose to look in that direction instead of into his eyes."I know, I know. I'm kinda running late. But look, how about you get yourself settled," he gestured to his kitchen, "while I put on some clothes and then we start our 'the Fast & the Furious' marathon?" While Adam had looked into the direction his hand had pointed to, he was now once again maintaining eye contact, the fucker. Was it too much to ask to be objectified the one time he wouldn't mind? Adam shrugged, then his green eyes started to spark with amusement."It's fine, bro. Take all the time you need to get your prima donna ass all prettied up. I don't mind, cause I haven't been the one nagging Nick about how long he spends staring into a mirror, fixing his hair and grooming his beard. Maybe you'll be even finished before he and Ortu show up."No problem, thought Chris, smirking slightly as he made his way to his bedroom, where the clothes for tonight were already laid out, he wouldn't need to. Cause it had been Nick's idea all along. And any moment now, he and Adam would get text messages from Ortu and Nick with some bullshit excuse why they couldn't make it. Ensuring he had an evening alone with Adam where he could get as close and personal as his best slutty moves allowed him to get. And those had been Ortu's words, not his. As if reading his thoughts, his phone pinged with a new text from Ortu. Go get him, tiger. A second later Nick sent him a text. Let loose your inner skank. U got this. Snorting, he could just imagine Nick and Ortu sitting in Ortu's den, having take-out, playing Mario Cart and rooting for him.***Pushing his breakfast around his plate, Chris reread Adam's text. Sorry I fell asleep yesterday. Long day at work. :( But let's try again on Wednesday, my place? Maybe the guys'll manage to show up this time? :) Yesterday hadn't gone according to plan, at all. After he'd come out of his bedroom, he found Adam asleep on his couch. Looking disgustedly at his scrambled eggs, he put his fork down. He didn't feel hungry anymore. Because he knew what this had to mean. At some point there had to come an end to them trying to spark more than brotherly feelings in Adam. No matter how much Chris loved Adam and wanted to be loved by him in return, he'd rather have him as his friend and in his life, than not see him at all. And that would happen if he continued and pushed too much; a line would be crossed and Adam wouldn't be able to regard him as a friend, let alone his best friend. And that was all he'd ever be to Adam, his best friend, a brother.Pressing his eyes closed tightly to stop their treacherous prickling, Chris couldn't help thinking of Adam's smile. How it made his eyes come alive, dancing with amusement. Or how Chris wanted to reach out and kiss him breathless, when the corners of his mouth turned soft because he had thought of a fond memory. Or how Adam would inevitably win, when they were fooling around, using his height to his advantage and pin Chris down, which made him imagine how Adam could have held him down in the bedroom… He took a shuddering breath and told himself to stop thinking about what could have happened. It hadn't and that was what was important.Reigning in his wayward emotions was even trickier than his overactive imagination. So at the moment, Chris felt heartsick, rejected and simply the thought of seeing Adam next week made his stomach turn. He couldn't stand the idea of sitting next to him, while Adam talked in his totally understated goofy way about maybe trying online dating once more. Simply imagining it made Chris' heart clench and he felt himself scowl. No way was he able to hang out with Adam again while he still felt like his heart had been ripped out. Tiredly, Chris scrubbed with a hand across his face. Not that he wanted to see any of his friends in the foreseeable future. All he wanted, at the moment, was to crawl into his bed together with a bottle of whisky and die. If that wasn't possible, then maybe have an entirely manly cry until he was too emotional exhausted to continue or fell asleep, whatever came first. And that's what he was going to do. Maybe that's what he needed to figure out how to deal with this mess without making an ass of himself.***So, his brilliant, totally mature solution? Turned out to be imitate an ostrich, stick your head into the sand, brush off your friends and the guy who unknowingly broke your heart and isolate yourself by staying in your house, wallowing in self-pity amplified by doing nothing but eating a variety of canned soup and listening to love songs of the 40s.Which was why he featured, on this particular Saturday evening, a pair of ratty sweatpants, an old Avengers shirt, two days' worth of stubble and probably hair looking like he'd been electrocuted, when he opened his ringing door. Only to wish he could slam it closed right away. Standing there, holding up a six-pack and looking at him concerned with his soulful eyes was, "Adam," sighed Chris, as he opened the door some more."Hey man. Can I come in?" As if he was able to refuse Adam in person. Resigned, he shrugged. "Sure."After trailing behind Adam into his living room, he turned off his stereo, where Frank Sinatra was crooning. Finally he quit stalling and sat down beside him on the couch."So, why the surprise visit?" asked Chris, knowing it probably came out as halfheartedly as he felt. Yep, there it was, Adam was scrunching up his face. It was the look he got when he was trying to figure out what was going on."Well, I haven't seen you, lately." Two weeks, to be accurate, but who was counting the days, he for sure wasn't… "And neither have Nick or Ortu." Yeah, probably hadn't been a good idea to tell them 'mission: win Adam over' was off by text, then ignore their calls. Still, traitors. He had been texting them that he was still alive. Maybe that hadn't been as reassuring as it had sounded in his head… "So, I decided to come over and find out what's going on. I've been worried, man." He did look concerned, yeah, but his clenched jaw told Chris how much more Adam was determined not to let this go, like a dog with a bone. "And I felt maybe this would make it easier to talk about it." He pointed to the beer. "Cause I know something's been bothering you, don't try to bullshit me." Chris sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. What a mess. And no way to lie his way out of it. In the state he was, he couldn't bluff for shit."I'm sure you don't want to hear this one." He glanced sideways at Adam, who still looked stubborn. "Look, give me a couple of more weeks and I'll most likely have sorted out my head." Which sounded weak, even to his own ears."Okay, no way. It doesn't matter whether I'll like it, dude. It's about your live and something's obviously hurting you. So, whatever it is? I'll deal with it." Adam patted his knee consolingly, which made what Chris was going to say next only harder. Considering it could be the last time in a very long time that Adam would be comfortable touching him so casually. "I know I'm a jackass for it, especially after how I reacted to our near kiss, but I can't help it. For me, our kiss on the 4th of July didn't feel like kissing a brother, but like someone I'd like to take my time kissing. Since then I've been trying to make myself interesting to you, you know, show my appeal, and maybe make you also fall in love with me." Chris realized his voice had gone shaky. "And I'm sorry. I know now you're not as crazy about me as I'm about you, that it's not what you're feeling. And it's fine," he rushed on, unable to identify the look on Adam's face. "That's why I cut back on our time together, 'cause I need a bit of space to get over the fact I'm unrequitedly in love with my best friend, which sucks, yeah I give you that. But I'll be ok, we'll be ok, man I promise. I just, need a bit of distance first, ok?" He finished pleadingly, waiting for Adam's reaction."Wait, you actually mean that?" Adam was scrutinizing him deeply. Whatever look must have crossed Chris' face at his words, made him look slightly hopeful and a slow smile began to take hold of his face, as he leaned over and kissed Chris slowly and thoroughly, this time. His brain must have short-circuited. Chris couldn't remember when he'd started to return the kiss, only how amazing Adam's lips felt, the slide of his tongue against his, Adam stroking his cheek as he nipped Chris' lower lip before pulling back. Wait, why was he pulling back? At least he continued to caress his cheek."Before this goes any further, I need you to be absolutely sure, about being with a man, being with me.""Adam, I have thought about this," he gestured between them, "about what it means being with you and you being a guy for months now. I guess this makes me bisexual.""So it's fine, us going out together? Some minor PDA?" Adam looked at him questioningly."I have been trying to do just that the last couple of weeks." He couldn't help the slight exasperation in his voice. At least Adam seemed to think it funny, making him laugh outright."Okay, tough guy. I told you guys how Matt and I were incompatible in bed. It was because neither of us liked to bottom. And that hasn't changed, I haven't changed. You know what it would imply for our relationship?""Yes, Adam." Chris rolled his eyes. He wasn't stupid. But if Adam's raised eyebrows were anything to go by, he needed him to be a bit more elaborate."I thought about it, too." Now he felt himself blush, but continued to hold Adam's gaze. "I think I'd probably prefer it like that. I mean, I've never had sex with a guy. But, whenever I thought about us, it was with you, you know, being on top." By now his face had to be burning up, when had it gotten so hard to talk about sex?"This seems so surreal. I've wanted you for such a long time, but didn't want to risk our friendship. And that disaster after our near kiss scared the crap out of me. I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all, no matter that I'd been in love with you for ages. So I'd stopped looking for any hidden meaning in your behavior." His thumb was brushing across Chris' cheek again. "But if I can have this, you, I'm willing to make it work and to take it as slow as you need to be comfortable." Adam was looking him soulfully and sincere into the eyes, and Chris hated to do this, really he did, but…"Fuck slow. I don't need time. We know what we want, so let's relocate to the bedroom." Chris grinned at Adam, who was shaking his head and laughing again, but still stood up and pulled Chris to his feet. So what if he'd killed their moment? They were going to have many more. Now he was finally going to get laid.***Chris felt Adam look at him. Turning on his side, he propped up his head on his hand, looked down at his boyfriend and raised an inquiringly eyebrow."So, all the times the guys never made it, they were actually never supposed to show up and we were on what, dates?" Adam's blinding smile was making it hard for Chris to concentrate on what he was saying."Yeah, they cornered me after the second time I had told you some bullshit excuse why they couldn't make it and you'd asked them about what they had supposedly been doing. I'm just glad they didn't accidently tip you off about my scheming. After that, I spilled the beans and they helped me. They were totally on board with the two of us getting together.""Unbelievable, really. I should be pissed off, but," one of Adam's hands found its way to his ass, squeezing lightly, "instead I feel really bad I fell asleep on you last time. And since I got you in my bed thanks to all of your plotting, I feel it would be sanctimonious of me.""You should have seen Nick's face when I vetoed his idea of us watching the reproduction of Hairspray." Shaking with laughter, he fell upon Adam and buried his face in his neck. "He was so affronted!""You know, maybe we'll find Nick a nice, musical loving, beer drinking boyfriend after all. Couldn't hurt to try. Not that I'd know where to find one, since I'd had to settle for my best friend because all the other gay guys were douchebags." He lifted his face to glare in mock outrage at Adam."Hey, I'll have you know I'm great boyfriend material. Nick and Ortu totally agree." At Adam's snort Chris punched him playfully in the shoulder, only to see Adam's face go soft and his eyes shine brighter."Yeah, you are, babe. You really are." Smiling slightly, Chris let himself be pulled in a slow, toe-curling kiss.