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Stormy looked around herself. The gross bus stop was crammed with the loved ones of the smashers, who had already begun to board the bus. She turned to face Sabine, who was waffling on about how lucky she was to be able to compete in Smash Bros. Yeah yeah, she got it. Only the top of the tops could compete, it appeared. Everyone else was so jealous when she received the letter.Finally, Stormy was called aboard the bus. She stood in the aisle, looking for a place to sit. There were not many options that appealed to her.In the front was a fox polishing a gun or blaster of some kind. He was sitting next to an ugly fat man eating garlic. Nope.In the middle were a man and a woman. Twins, probably seeing as they had the same black robes and the same ice crystal coloured hair.The back seat on the left was thankfully free so she slid down next to a girl with blue hair and observed the rest of the bus.On the other side were two angels, one with a white toga and one with a black one. The black one was next to an older man wearing a skintight suit that showed his nipples off in the worst possible light.Directly in front of Stormy was a woman with blonde hair held back in a high ponytail.Outside was a green-clad elf man hugging a girl with the tallest leg-torso combination ever seen on a living being. She had orange hair and a long black robe. She was so tall that every hug she had with the elf automatically turned into a boob hug.Black Angel and Nipple Guy were fighting.A pink puffball was busy inhaling somebody's fried chicken.The whole bus stank of garlic.A girl with long brown hair and a regal white and purple dress called out, "Link, time to go!" The elf reached the bus in two flying leaps and seated himself just as the bus began to move.Everyone was waving.Stormy, on the other hand, carefully opened the window, wrapped her legs around her seat and dangled her entire upper body out the window. She grinned, waving goodbye to Sabine, Ezra and Zeb as people noticed and started laughing at the ridiculousness.Suddenly, she felt two hands grab her skirt and pull her back in the window. She was suddenly greeted by the angry face of the blue haired girl."What do you think you're doing!?" the girl yelled. "We only just left, and already you're begging to be killed! Am I seriously the ONLY sane person on this bus.."~*~Stormy simply tuned everything out, one of the few things she was good at."Stay on YOUR side of the seat!" yelled Captain Falcon."I will if you stay on yours," Dark Pit replied, not sounding remotely bothered at all.Captain Falcon responded with a shove. "Move!"Dark Pit lifted his foot and jammed it hard against the racer's jaw. "That better?" he smirked.Captain Falcon would have thought of a sick comeback, but Ike slipped his hands between them, separating them."You," he nodded at Pit, "come sit next to your clone."Dark Pit twitched with anger at being called a lowly 'clone'."And you," Ike tuned his attention to Captain Falcon, "go sit in Pit's seat." They obliged,Captain Falcon mumbling profanities under his breath.Ike dusted off his hands and turned to Marth. "Easy peasy. Now, what were you saying…?"~*~"Hey!" Sonic shouted. "Kirby! Stop eating my chicken, you little piece of…"~*~Duck Hunt was bored and restless. His ears hurt from the two Italian men arguing about pizza, whatever that was. Duck quacked as Hunt stood up and trotted away from the two noise-makers.Hunt trotted up the aisle before something caught his eye, and stopped abruptly.A girl was looking down at them from her seat. She was wearing a long black robe and she had a nice face with a wide smile. But what struck Duck Hunt most was her hair. It was a weird colour, like an icy pink. It hung in two pigtails down her shoulders. There was someone else, a man, too. Same robe, same coloured hair.The girl leaned down and stretched her arms. Duck stared at them nervously before walking into her outstretched arms. They were promptly lifted up and placed in the girl's lap."Awwww, Robin look, a dog!"The man turned. "And a duck." he smiled and scratched Duck behind his head."Yeah! Aren't they just adorable?" the girl said as she scratched Hunt behind his ears, which was a refreshing change from the bus driver who was now yelling at the two Italian men. He lay down in her lap and listened as she introduced herself to the man in front of her."I'm Beebs," she said excitedly. "What's your's?""Uh, Wario," came the reply, swiftly followed by a loud burp.~*~"Pineapple does not-a belong on pizza! The very thought of-a it!" Mario's face was red and flushed."Of course it-a does! The salty and-a sweetness work-a perfectly together!" Luigi had a good point, but Mario was having none of it."It-a does not! It's a disgrace to Italian cuisine-a!""You're a disgrace to Italian cuisine-a!"Suddenly, the bus ground to a halt. The driver stood up and faced the brothers. "You know what else is a disgrace to Italian cuisine?"Luigi trembled, fearful of the bus driver's menacing tone of voice."Canned tuna on pizza." Then the bus driver sat back down as Mario and Luigi both began to retch at the very thought of canned tuna on pizza.They can continue their pineapple-on-pizza argument another day.~*~Pit liked sitting next to his doppleganger, though he probably wouldn't admit it to anyone. He felt safe next to him. He hoped Dark Pit wouldn't catch him staring. Luckily he was busy reading a novel. Pit couldn't help himself. Black hair and red eyes go so well together!The hideous green and yellow but pulled into a gas station a few hours later. As soon as the doors were opened, everyone was already involved in a mad dash for the bathroom. No one wanted to be last in, and no one wanted to go in after Wario, for obvious reasons.Unfortunately for Captain Falcon, he was last of all. And right after Wario, who had just finished eating ALL the garlic available on the bus.No more will be said on this matter.~*~It was 11:06 pm and everything was quiet, apart from the steady rumblings of the engine and the snores of those who had passed out where they sat. There were only three people(not including the bus driver) who were still awake.Dark Pit couldn't sleep. And he didn't see why he couldn't. He wasn't stressed. He wasn't brooding over anything for a change. If anything, he'd never felt more at peace in his life.Pit had long since fallen asleep, and was now giving a big 'fuck you' to personal space and was resting his head on Dark Pit's shoulder, snoring contently. Dark Pit would normally give Pit a big shove, but for some reason, he wasn't in the mood.Pit was rather cute when he was asleep. Far less annoying that way. Brown hair and blue eyes go so well together, Dark Pit thought.Stormy was watching the blonde-haired lady watch a "Curtains of the Mind" parody on MoonTube. She'd been doing this for a while now. Blondie hadn't even noticed she'd picked up an extra audience member.Well, that was until Blondie suddenly whipped her head around and stared straight into Stormy's green-grey eyes."Whadya want?" she growled."Whacha watchin'?" Stormy asked, even though she already knew the answer."None of your business.""Whatever." The teenager leaned back in her seat and there was a long pause. A very long pause."Wanna watch with me?" Blondie asked, just to break the awkward silence.Stormy shrugged. "Okay."Blondie held out her hand. "I'm Samus, by the way."Stormy looked at the outstretched hand before taking it into her own."Stormy."They shook hands, and so was the beginning of a great friendship.

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Night was casually enjoying its time in the trillions of tiny spotlights known as stars, but then dawn came along and ruined everything not only for night, but for nights followers, who called themselves 'night owls'. Really, the remotely useful thing dawn brought to the table was a brand new day. But maybe not for night owls though...And as the heinous green and yellow bus trundled along a smooth concrete road, its temporary inhabitants became more and more awake as they were jostled around. And when the blonde-haired princess more commonly known as Peach cracked open her big blue eyes, she saw ahead of her the one thing that made her squeal."OMG WE'RE ALMOST THERE!' she screamed, loud enough to wake the dead.Hunt howled in annoyance at being so rudely woken up. Beebs stroked his fur, which calmed him down some.~*~"Get your feet off of my seat, dude!" Sonic, who was still annoyed about the fried chicken, yelled at Shulk. Shulk sulked at having been disturbed from his rather cozy position, but obeyed.~*~"Yes...""No..."Still at it, are they? Zelda thought. She thought that the plumbers argument was stupid, while failing to realise that whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza was actually one of the most important questions in the whole universe. She tickled Pikachu who was sitting on her lap, behind his ears and sighed.Almost there, almost...the-POP!"Hahaha, I can't believe you just sat on it!" Ike exclaimed.Marth had stood up to stretch his legs, and plopped his ass down on a bag of chips. Lucina's bag of chips."Ooohhh man, Lucina's gonna be pissed!""Not helping, Ike."~*~"Mmmmnn,"Pit didn't know what he was snuggling into, just that whatever it was, it was warm and soft. He didn't want to get up for the day, but he knew Palutena would yell at him if he didn't. He opened his eyes to find that what he had been cuddling all night was in fact Pittoo's shoulder. Not that Pittoo seemed to mind. He was asleep. His bangs hung over his eyes and he was snoring gently. Awwwww! Pit thought, he's so cute when he's asleep!~*~The uglier-than-Wario bus coasted down the streets of Crescent Moon until they came upon the Smash Mansion, huge and gleaming white and surrounded by trees and grassy fields. Close enough to the city to walk, but far enough away for privacy.Black iron wrought gates opened up to a long gravel driveway nearly three times the size of the bus currently navigating it. Finally, the bus pulled up to the gates and everyone dashed out the doors. In fact, some people were a little too eager and tried to exit through the windows. Stormy was one of those people.She hoisted her two brand-new overnight bags over her shoulders as she entered the mansion. It reeked of feet and lavender. It smelled...homely. Comforting.As soon as the smashers set foot into the mansion Master Hand was there, greeting them and assigning them to their rooms. He spied Stormy making her way through the crowd of Miis and smashers."Ah, hello there Stormy! Ready for this?"Stormy just nodded.Master Hand looked at her. "You're not homesick already, are you?"Stormy seemed shocked at that. "Ha! Of course I'm not!" she responded quickly."Anyway, here's the key to your room. The third floor, fifth door on the left.""Okay," Stormy said as she took the key from the outstretched glove. She trotted up the stairs, wishing that the elevator wasn't as packed as it was. She was actually quite glad to be here. It sure beats smelling sweaty Lasat fur and having to hide her ghetto blaster all the time. It sure beats life on that confounded planet, with its two suns and shit-tons of sand. It sure beats having stupid religions crammed down her throat...Her thoughts were interrupted by a white-clad angel bumping into her."Whoops. Sorry!"She turned. "Hey..have we met before?"The angel stopped. "Um no, I don't think so...?""Really? Cause it feels like we have. What's your name?""Uh, Pit.""Oh, I'm Stormy, by the way. Also I'm sure we've seen each other before, I just don't know where.""Well, I don't think I've ever seen you before today. And if we have, I don't remember you. Sorry."Stormy just shrugged, and the two went their separate ways. Pit found the room he would be sharing with Little Mac, Marth and Sonic.Long story short, when Lucina found out that she would have to be sleeping in bunk beds in a surprisingly cramped space with the goddess, bounty hunter, and...that girl who hung out the back window on the bus, she was pretty disappointed, to put it lightly.Luigi was scared of the dark angel who would be sleeping in the bunk above his. He creeped him out! Those red eyes sure were scary! Luckily he was with the tactician twins, Robin and Beebs. Plus a cute duck and dog that Beebs was allowed to bring into the room with her, and sleep on her bed.The last thing anyone heard was a humongous fart that shook the entire mansion, thus concluding the first night of the fourth official Smash Tournament.

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The next morning, everyone woke to the sound of the army wake-up call horn blasting through the PA system. This was closely followed by the echoing voice belonging to Master Hand.Gooooood morning, Vietnam!" he joked, "as soon as you all get dressed, please report to the main hall fo-Crazy, what are you doing? Hey wait, STOP THAT!"The smashers covered their ears as creepy laughter attacked their ear drums."Hehehehehehehehe, we got lotsa stuff planned for yo ASSES today!" Crazy Hand cackled."Crazy," Master Hand could be heard from the background, "what did I tell you about eating cheese and maple syrup before 10:34 am?"Dead silence."Not to do it," Crazy said, his voice drooping."Good. Now be a good glove and give the mic back..,""NOPE! HAHAHAHAHA!""CRAAAAAZYYYY!"The smashers just sighed and went about getting dressed.Ten minutes later, they were all gathered in the main hall. It was far less chaotic than the bus, despite the following:King Dedede went to sit in a chair and broke it.Ganondorf started calling him a 'fatass' as Link gave Ganon the stink eye.Lucina was giving Marth a piece of her mind for sitting on her chips the day before.Stormy saw an empty seat next to Samus, and climbed over six heads to get there, whacking a seventh with a plastic drink bottle filled with blue liquid.Ness whacked Took Link over the head with his baseball bat for stealing his cap.Finally, Master Hand appeared on stage and and took in the sight before him: all of his smashers, the Miis, and the camera crews at the back, filming the introduction for all the passionate fans back home."Hello everybody! Welcome to the fourth annual Super Smash Bros Tournament!"The crowd went wild."First off, I want to give a warm welcome, and a big thank you to everyone who accepted our Smash invitations this year! We have a staggering record of over fifty fighters! And more Miis than before! Now, I want to call up this year's newcomers to the stage to introduce themselves!"Cheers erupted once more. This introduction was being televised all over the planet. This was a big moment for the newcomers. It was their time to shine, to get people to like them and root for them."And now, the first newcomer is...Palutena!"Everyone clapped as the green haired goddess made her way to the stage."Hello fellow smashers! I am Palutena, the Gracious Goddess of Light!"Stormy leaned over towards Samus. "Sounds like a shitty thing to be goddess of, doesn't it?"Samus snickered."Now I must warn you, I can be very rough. I don't play nice. Especially if it means I get to be on top!""Is she talking about fighting, or sex?" Samus asked loud enough for the whole row of seats to hear. Pit flashed the bounty hunter a 'shut up' stare while Shulk strained to hold in his laughter."You are all fools if you think you can top me!" Palutena continued, "After all, anything an angel can do, a goddess can do better!""So...sex, then?""EYARHAUHAUHAU!" Shulk burst out laughing and everyone stopped to stare at him."I..I-I'm sorry, I couldn't hold it!" Shulk was cry-laughing now. Palutena stared daggers at the boy who had interrupted her narcissistic rant and Master Hand floated back out on stage."Okay then, Shulk. How about you come up here and tell us a little about yourself, hm?"Shulk was still laughing, so hard that he could barely walk. Everyone watched awkwardly as he staggered towards the stage, swaying as if he was drunk. He was kicked off the stage only a few minutes later, as he could barely form a coherent sentence. Master Hand shook his head and went back out."And now, from the deserts of Tattoine, Stormy Skywalker!"Lucina prepared herself for the shitstorm that was bound to follow as Stormy stood before the crowd, tucked her long straight golden brown hair behind her ear and leaned towards the microphone."Hi. I'm Stormy. I'm from Tattoine, the most nothing planet in the entire universe. No family, just a ragtag group of friends. No life, I don't care, but we're all gonna die someday, so what does it matter if I 'accidentally' kill you in battle?" Stormy said this in a flat tone, but she spoke the last words with a ghost of a joking smile."Any questions?" Master Hand announced.Peach began. "Oh, Stormy! Where in the world did you get those clothes?" She wrinkled her nose in distaste.Stormy glanced down at the blue tie-on crop top and the matching skirt."What's wrong with my clothes? Not revealing enough for you?"Peach tried not to blush. "No! Th-they...I ,I just want to know where you got them from!""I got them from some garage sale. Some kid named Steven told me they used to belong to one of his friends..God, what was her name?...Lapis Lazuli or something like it. Kinda weird name, but whatever."Peach simply nodded.Falco put his hand up next. "What's in the drink bottle?"All of a sudden, Stormy's face developed a smirk. The smirk of a prankster. "I'll show you."She took a swig from the clear plastic bottle she had brought with her. Her cheeks ballooned with the sea-blue liquid. She then reached under her skirt and produced a balloon. She slipped the end through her lips and blew.Families watched their TVs in awe as the newcomer blew the liquid into the balloon. The smashers looked on with a mixture of disgust and anticipation. When all the liquid was all in the balloon, the end was tied and the balloon was levitated over Stormy's right hand.Before anyone could blink, the balloon shot across the stage straight towards Falco. It exploded on impact.Falco squealed girlishly as Shulk burst out laughing once more. Everyone sitting around the cocky space pilot moved away to avoid being coated with the backwash-riddled drink. One of the Mii Gunners had caught the whole thing on video and was in the process of uploading it to MoonTube and Pit giggled so hard he got the hiccups.Stormy bowed and said, "Ta-da!"Master Hand appeared and pushed Stormy off the stage. "Okay, who's next? Dark Pit, you can come up!"Dark Pit slowly trudged up the stairs, narrowly avoiding Falco, who was in a mad dash for the bathroom.Pit looked up at his doppelgänger and hiccuped violently. He hoped Pittoo didn't notice. He didn't know why, though…Dark Pit cleared his throat and began to speak. "Dark Pit here. Call me Pittoo, you die. Okay, I'm done." He attempted to leave, but Master Hand gently pushed him back towards the microphone."Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not done yet. You still need to answer audience questions."Dark Pit growled but obliged.Captain Falcon raised his hand. "Why are you such a dick?""Fuck you," came the reply. The angel marched off stage, shoving past Master Hand as he did so. "I'm done answering questions if you are gonna be assholes!""Way to go, Captain Falcon," Ness exclaimed."Yeah, I was gonna ask him about Pand..." Toon Link was suddenly cut off by Palutena, who quickly said "Shh, we don't talk about her."The other newcomers took their turns on the stage. Pac Man and Mega Man didn't say anything at all, just stared into the cameras towards the back of the hall. Rosalina blathered on about her Lumas before being interrupted by one of said Lumas. Little Mac was shy at first, but was ushered off by Master Hand because he started getting a little too descriptive about his life story. Villager showed off his collection of random objects, namely a bowling ball, a firework and a potted plant.After Duck Hunt introduced themselves by barking and quacking into the microphone, Master Hand appeared once again to deliver news that would receive a very unwelcome welcome."Now, I know we've all had past issues about getting along with the other smashers, and I know that we don't necessarily see eye to eye on everything. But Brawl delivered new friendships, and even more rivalries. These rivalries ended up costing us a fortune in damages done to the surroundings. Which is why this time, we're going to take a different approach. This year, I am more than happy to introduce the Buddy Programme. As part of this programme, you will be assigned a permanent buddy. You will be partnered together for all team battles, unless instructed otherwise. You will attend all social functions together. You will get to know your buddy. You will be partnered up with who we deem fit. And most of all, you will like it."This statement was met with an immediate uproar."BOOO!" the kids shouted."I don't wanna get stuck with no scrub!" Captain Falcon stated adamantly."No WAY! We do NOT need supervision!" someone yelled."ENOUGH!" Master Hand was pissed. "Please, be quiet and please put that chair down, Bowser. Now here are the partners…"So, long story short, here were the assigned partners:Stormy and Little Mac.Samus and Sonic (they surreptitiously flipped each other the bird while no one was looking).Robin and Beebs (after they begged long enough for Master Hand to give in).Marth and Lucina. (Marth was fine with this. Lucina was not).Pit and Palutena.Shulk and Zelda.Link and Willow (Female Wii Fit Trainer).Fox and Pikachu ("Great, now I have to babysit an electric rat?" Fox asked. "Pika pi chuuuu!" Pikachu was not pleased with his statement.)Luigi and Dark Pit (Luigi was now biting his nails through his comically large gloves. Dark Pit kind of freaked him out).Ike and Sheik.Bowser Jr and Wario.Rosalina and Captain Falcon.Falco and Charizard ("Suck it, Fox! I get a dragon!")Lucario and Wilson (Male Wii Fit Trainer).Mario and Peach (Contrary to what you may think, Mario and Peach's relationship had soured a lot since Brawl. Forcing them to stick together and kiss and make up was not a good idea on Master Hand's part).Bowser and Ganondorf were put together (even worse than putting Mario and Peach together).Ness and Toonie.Kirby and Jigglypuff.Diddy Kong and Meta Knight.Expand Dong ("Whoops!" Master Hand had said, "I mean Donkey Kong!") and Yoshi. Donkey Kong was less than impressed.Olimar, King Dedede, and a whole fuckton of Pikmin.Pac Man and Mr Game and Watch.Villager and Mega Man."I feel sorry for the poor soul who gets stuck with Villager," Peach said forlornly.After the buddies were announced and everyone was either rolling in joy (Pit and Palutena) or so upset and angry (Mario and Peach), Master Hand arranged for Mario to take the newcomers on a tour of the mansion and then meet up again in the cafeteria room for brunch...

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The hallway was ridiculously narrow for those who walked along together, leaning into one another to try and catch whatever the hell Mario was saying."Mmmhhmm mmMWWAAMMmmm mmmwwhwmwa…""WHAAAAAAAAAT?" Lucina called from the back."He's saying, mmmhwwhmhwmhhwm, imbecile," Dark Pit said."Pittoo! Don't be mean!" Palutena scolded him.Mario stopped abruptly, causing everyone to walk straight into him. He then pointed a shaky finger at a flaky pink door with "Ye Crapper" written on it in cursive."T-there…" his voice trembled."What's there?" someone asked.Mario hesitated, but nevertheless began to speak."The-ere, is-a one p-place yo-u must never g-go!""Why? It's just a toilet," Shulk spoke up.The plumber turned, fear clearly evident in his eyes."Shulk. My dear-a Shulk. Dear-a sweet child. Th-at toilet, was the scene of the-a worst case of explosive-a diarrhea the world had ever seen. It-a was-a the reason Snake and the-a poor Ice Climbers could not-a join us for-a Smash Four-a."The newcomers cringed so hard that the resulting shivers could have caused an earthquake several thousand kilometres away.Yet...there were stifled giggles when they learned that the almighty Solid Snake, of all people, was brought to his knees by, well...you know.BUT HOW WERE THE ICE CLIMBERS INVOLVED?No one dwelled on it.Also, the reason this toilet struck fear into the smashers hearts was because they never got rid of the smell.Through the rest of the tour Mario showed them the library, observatory, cafeteria, the backyard (which contained a lavish garden, a swing set and a mangled trampoline, among other things) and the rooftop hangout. Luckily, there were no other rooms or hotspots in the mansion with odd or disgusting quirks, except for the obvious…"Hey! I was told that the smashers get to have their own rooms! So why do we have to share?" Lucina yelled angrily.Mario shrugged and said, "I dunno. Master Hand said he-a needed extra storage or-a something.""Bullshit,""Pittoo! Watch your language!""Gah! You're not my mum!""Uh, Mario?" Robin piped up, "where do the assist trophies sleep?""Oh! They-a have their own house-a out on the-a field!"So, Robin thought to himself, the rooms aren't for the assist trophies. What are they for, then?When the newcomers arrived at the cafeteria, the veterans were talking amongst themselves."I did not think her clothes were revealing!...""Poyo! Poyo!""Awww, I have a bruise now..""Hic!""I think some of that stuff got in my underwear! God!""Ha ha, this video already has nearly twenty thousand views!""...but he thought he did, so…""I CAN SMELL EVERYONE'S AURA!"~*~Falco strided to an empty seat and sat down. Squelch. The blue bird felt like crying. But he was too prideful for that.~*~Toonie had a bruise the size of an apple, and growing…~*~"Excuse me," Willow asked a Mii brawler who was bringing in food, "do you have anything with wheat germ? I'm on a diet…"~*~Dark Pit, with a styrofoam cup in hand, spotted Pit by the bar and took the empty stool next to him."Hey."Pit stared up at him, hiccuping as he did so. "Hi hic Pittoo!"Dark Pit stretched out his hand with the cup. "I uh, brought you some water. For your hiccups.""Thanks!" Pit took the cup and sipped the water. Dark Pit turned to face the bartender. "Got any ginger beer?" he asked.~*~Ness was busy playing on the TotallyNotATetrisRipoff handheld he'd smuggled in when his eye caught the two pixie-like beings next to him. One had purple hair and the other had orange. The one with purple hair noticed him looking at her, and smiled."Hi! I'm Kat and this is my sister Ana!"Ness smiled back. "I'm Ness, but my friend Toonie sometimes calls me Nestle."Kat laughed, a tiny twinkling of a sound. "That's so funny! Ana sometimes calls our friend Ashley Ashes, but she hates it."Ness could sense a friendship forming."Toonie comes up with lots of funny nicknames. He likes to call Ike 'Ikea' and he once even called Captain Falcon 'Captain Fuckface'. He got in trouble for that one.""What'd I get in trouble for?" asked Toonie, who had shown up out of nowhere holding a bowl of cereal."Fuckface." Ness responded.Toonie's mouth developed into a wide smirk. "Oh yeah. Hehe. That was totally worth getting in trouble for. Hey, who're they?""Oh! This is Kat," Kat waved, "and her sister Ana.""Nice to meet ya, ladies."Kat blushed madly while Ana giggled."Hey, I'm going to go find Ashley." Ana flew off, leaving her sister with the two boys."So," Ness began, "where are you from?""Diamond City. We're training to be ninjas with the Iga Clan!" Kat responded."Urrrr, what's the Iga Clan?" Toonie questioned.Kat was about to reply when Ana showed up, dragging with her a sullen-looking girl with two large black ponytails and a red dress."Ness, Toonie, I want you to meet our friend Ashes!""Ashley." the girl said quietly. She let out a yell of surprise when she suddenly found herself face to face with the hero of winds."Sup. I'm Toonie.""..." Ashley already disliked this boy, with his loud voice and obnoxious attitude.~*~"Daddy!" Lucina cried as she wrapped her arms around Chrom."Hey, sweetie, I've been looking for you! I wanted to say that your introduction speech was amazing.""Aw, thanks. So, whose room are you staying in?"Chrom rubbed the back of his neck. "Well actually, Master Hand told me that I'm staying with the assist trophies in that blue house out on the field.""What? Aw, why?"~*~Stormy snuck up behind Samus and surprised her with an idea that made Samus grin devilishly."Wanna play?"Samus rubbed her chin. "What kinda game you thinking?"Stormy responded to that question by reaching under her skirt and pulling out a small cardboard box with the words 'Cards Against Humanity'. Samus stared at the box before shouting, "Fuck yes!"So they all gathered at the round table. Stormy, Samus, Mario, Little Mac, Link, Zelda and most surprisingly, Peach and Rosalina. On the first round, Zelda was the Card Czar."Okay, what ended my last relationship?"Rosalina placed down a card that read, 'Harry Potter erotica'.Samus chose one with 'Being fabulous'."Should I go with 'me' or 'you'?" Peach muttered to herself."You," Mario whispered slyly.Zelda threw her hands up in the air. "Well, obviously I have to go with 'Being fabulous'..."They played that game all day and night. There were hysterical fits of laughter and shocked gasps from both player and spectator. At one point, even Kirby played. The winner of the night was when Peach, of all people, played the card 'WAAAAAAVE LAAAAAAZER' in response to the question "What did the US Airdrop drop to the children of Afghanistan?" It was the winner because Shulk, who had been spectating, laughed on and off for exactly twenty seven minutes, a rare feat. And not the kind you put in shoes.Someday, the smashers may understand Shulk's random and tasteless sense of humor. But for now, they just listened to twenty seven minutes of hysterical laughter.

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Goddamn, Lucina thought. Stormy was bad enough awake, but at night, she's just downright creepy. She doesn't move. She doesn't make a sound. She just lies there. Like a leaf floating on an isolated pond. Like a dead body, the body of a murder victim, lying undiscovered in a field of tall, luscious grass. Like the moon, suspended high in the sky like a paper lantern.While Lucina was musing and Wilson dreaming of something horrifyingly startling, Rosalina, the sole person to have her own room (due to having to care for the Lumas) was lying dormant in her queen-size bed, surrounded by four, five, six different coloured Lumas. The star babies dreamed of star bits and the red-hatted man known as Mario, while snuggling closer to their mama.But, on the stroke of three in the morning, one Luma, a gorgeous cream coloured one, opened one eye and surveyed the room. He turned to his comrades and nodded.Like clockwork, each Luma slowly lifted themselves off the soft quilted duvet and flew towards the open window. Out they went, their tiny bodies basking in the sweet cold air as they headed up towards the dome of the observatory and through another window that was conveniently open.Inside, other Lumas were waiting for them. They had been waiting for this moment since Mama announced that they were going to compete in Smash.The cream Luma, named Orion, came forward."Hello, followers! I sincerely apologise for the lack of 'group' activity, but Mama needed our help to get ready for the tournament known as Super Smash Brothers. But now that that is out of the way, we may finally begin our first order of business. It is no secret that Crescent Moon is just as full of crime as everywhere else. The streets are dark and dangerous, and who knows what lurks under the cover of the night? But we can change this! We can clean up the streets and make Crescent Moon a safe place for everyone!"The other Lumas cheered and waved their arms around in agreement.Orion gestured towards the open window. "Then go, my precious followers, and commence Operation Luma Stampede!"A rainbow-waterfall-in-reverse of Lumas launched themselves through the window and descended upon the snoozing city. They split up into groups and began to traverse various alleyways and side streets, keeping their eyes open for any sign of nefarious happenings. For a lot of them, there was nothing to see. For several other groups, they got to see some action.Orion perked up at the sound of a woman's screams. Without any hesitation, he dove straight into the alley it was coming from, the rest of his group right behind him.He reached the ground and saw a young woman cornered by a scruffy man in a trenchcoat wielding a gun. He pointed it in her face and she wailed in terror."HEY!" Orion shouted. "PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!"The man spun around, evidently startled by the fact that there were five star babies right behind him, glaring angrily. He didn't have time to react before one of them suddenly launched at his face, hitting his jaw with a loud crunch and sending him to the ground. The Lumas pounced on his back a few times to make sure he stayed down, then turned to the woman, who was frozen in place watching everything unfold."You're safe now, Miss!" Orion said triumphantly, before flying away, satisfied at a job well done.When the first light of dawn arrived, the Lumas had tired themselves out and were on the verge of dropping from the sky. They blearily dragged themselves back to the Smash Mansion. The bulk of them went to the observatory, but the original six exhaustedly plonked themselves back down next to Mama.As soon as Orion shut his eyes, he heard a gentle "Rise and shine, little ones!"~*~The Lumas weren't the only ones suffering from sleep deprivation.Wilson had woken up at around five, and was unable to get back to sleep. His mind tormented him with images of the freckled girl with the short, shaggy brown hair and the crazy, merciless look in her eyes. Again, he found himself reliving the nightmare of him running through thick yellow sand while being chased by, who or whatever this was.~*~Luigi hadn't slept at all, due to his fear of the dark angel who was now his buddy
~*~

Later, while breakfast was being served in the cafeteria that was eerily reminiscent of that of a school's, Peach pulled out her phone and called Daisy.

"Hi Daisy!"

"Hey, Peachy. How's it goin'?"

"Oh, just fine, thank you! How about you?"

"Eh. Could be better. Stormy offered to pay me to take care of her cats, but I was like 'nope, I'd rather stay home and boss everyone around.'"

"Oh, well I'm glad you're alright. Especially since you weren't invited…" Peach instantly remembered what Daisy had said to her just before she left: Don't talk about how Daisy was left out. Again.

"I, uh gotta go Peachy. I gotta take one of the Toads to the hospital."

"Oh, Daisy! Did you let go of the golf club AGAIN?"

"Uh, yeah. Bye. Sorry."
~*~
Falco had had two showers and changed his clothes both of those times, yet he still felt the remnants of that sticky sweet fizzy drink that was practically spat over him yesterday. It was only Day 3 of 365, yet he was ready to go home as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

He turned around to grab a food tray, and saw the one thing that made him forget about yesterday's drama.

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"Uh, Earth to Falco!" Fox waved his hand.Falco wasn't paying attention. His eyeballs were much more interested in the line of Miis that were trickling into the cafeteria. Or, to be more specific, the one person in the line who wasn't a Mii.She was a human. Not an anthropomorphic animal. A human.She was tall, with long brown hair tied back in a ponytail that sat on the crown of her head and draped down her left shoulder. She wore a pair of exercise leggings and a matching crop top. Her hands were covered by thick black gloves and a red pack hung around her waist. She was a picture of beauty.Dangerously alluring beauty.Fox followed the bird's gaze and said "Oh, no…"The girl picked up a lunch tray and strided up to a worker Mii by the name of LOLSKUXX."Gimme some of that bramble," she spoke, clicking her tongue to show that time was a-wasting.To Fox, her voice was deep and scratchy.To Falco, an angel was singing.Which was true. Pit came into the cafeteria, singing some old folk song as loud as humanly possible."Pit, please shut up," Samus yawned.The girl snatched the plastic container of bramble off of LOLSKUXX and sat down at an empty table towards the back of the room. As soon as her butt made contact with the dingy metal seat, Falco was already sitting across from her, gazing into her grey eyes."Ain't she a beaut" LOLSKUXX mused.Fox had to hold in a laugh. "Yeah, about as pretty as a basilisk." He continued to stare at Falco and the strange girl.LOLSKUXX appeared confused. "Who, Amalia? Nah man, I was talkin' 'bout Stormy. Y'know. The new chick."Stormy was seated next to Samus, eating…...motherfucking FRUIT HOLES at seven-thirty in the bloody morning.Sugary blobs rolled down her chin and landed on the napkin, the table surface, her hand, everywhere. Well, Fruit Holes were messy. And horrifically sweet for breakfast cereal.Fox had no comment. He walked out and decided to go into the city for his breakfast.~*~Falco was threatened by the girl twice, once with her balled fists and once with the knives that she whipped out of her pack.He only left when she shoved her bramble in his face.~*~Meanwhile, Ness and Toonie stole across the field, still damp with dew, towards the Assist House as it had come to be known.Chrom answered the door, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. He was obviously surprised to find someone at this hour."Hello boys. What are you doing here?""Are Kat and Ana in?" Ness asked."And Ashley?" Toonie butted in."Uh, yeah I think. Hold on." Chrom turned around and hollered, "Kat! Ana! Ashley! Door for you!" His voice bounced off the wooden walls and into the dewy morning air.Kat came running. "Hi!"Ness smoothed back his hair. "Hi, Kat."Toonie gave a 'sup' to Ashley, who had appeared behind Kat in an orange dressing gown and matching slippers.'Would you like to come in?" Kat asked politely. "We're serving breakfast."Ness opened his mouth to accept, but Toonie took care of it by jumping forward and saying, "Hell, yeah!"~*~Shulk collected his tray of porridge and toast from the Miis and sat down, across the table from Zelda, who was delicately spearing cubed fruit with her fork and daintily chewing on it. Shulk averted his gaze, unsure of what to say, or if he should even say anything at all to his new buddy. He liked her. She seemed really nice. Not saying anything at all would probably be really rude…"Hi."Shulk looked up. Zelda was smiling warmly at him. She… spoke to him?He struggled to get his response out. "Uh... I… Hi?" He inwardly cursed at himself. That was so awkward! Seriously, Shulk, what the hell?Zelda didn't respond negatively, which only made Shulk like her more. She smiled politely. "You're Shulk, right?""Um… yeah.""I'm Zelda, princess of Hyrule. Where are you from?"Shulk felt himself becoming lost in her big blue eyes, and he stuttered an answer. "Uh… some people call me Monado Boy…" No, wait! That wasn't what she was asking! Damn it, Shulk!"Oh? And why's that?""The Monado's my, uh, weapon…"~*~Marth stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom that was attached to his shared bedroom. All bedrooms had an adjoining bathroom.The prince smoothed back his hair and said, "Mornin' gorgeous. Still lookin' as fiiiiiiine as evaaaah." He then struck a pose so outrageously sexy that if Lucina had seen it, he wouldn't even have lived to see the next hour."Marth?" Someone knocked on the door. It sounded like Little Mac. "What are you doing in there?"~*~Sonic had the gym bathroom all to himself. Normally he wouldn't come here, but Marth was hogging the bathroom in their room, so he had no choice.The bucket was full of hot, soapy water. He took it out from under the tap and carried it over to a nearby stool.Gently placing the bucket down, he sat on the stool and plunged his bare feet into the water. It washed over his toes and caressed his heels. Cleaning every millimetre of dirt off his skin.Thank god the bathroom is empty, Sonic thought to himself. No one can see what I hide in my sneakers. It can-no, it will ruin me. For life.~*~Several hours later, Fox came back, his stomach full and ready to explode. He wandered down the hall towards his room, hoping to sleep all the food off before his first battle. Before he could, though, he saw Amalia again. Falco was there as well, dogging her footsteps with a goofy, lovestruck grin on his beak."Leave me the hell alone, punk." Amalia sounded like she was close to stabbing someone."Aw, do I have to?" That did not sound like the cocky, arrogant Falco that Fox knew. Lovestruck Falco was, well...kind of lame.Fox's thoughts were cut off when Amalia suddenly whipped around, pulling a knife out of her pack. Her next words made the fox's skin crawl."Yes, you have to. Or your friends will never find your remains."Naptime can wait. No one, Fox thought, no one threatens my friends on my watch. He was taking this matter straight to Master Hand.~*~Link was unconsciously drooling onto his pillow when his mobile phone rang sharply. Link bolted upright, wiped off his face, picked up the phone and put on his best awake-voice."Hello?"The Hylian listened intently to his girlfriend's cries, and all he could do was offer soothing words of support."No baby, it's not real. If she...comes again just tell her I told her to fuck off, okay? Bye, I love you."Link switched off his phone and turned to look at Mario."Who-a was that?"Link sighed. "Midna. My girlfriend."Mario whistled with approval. "Wow-a, Link! I didn't know you-a had a girlfriend...wait...Midna? Isn't she-a an assist-a trophy?""She was supposed to, but she couldn't make it.""Oh. But why-a was she-a calling just-a now?"Well," Link began, "she keeps having really bad night terrors. Night terrors about a woman in black. She went to a psychologist about it, but it didn't help whatsoever. So now, whenever she has a nightmare, she calls me and cries about it. Honestly, it's scaring me to see her like this. Nothing has ever scared her like this. I'm worried."Mario looked on with sympathy. "Poor-a Midna."Link could only nod in agreement.~*~"Unbe-fucking-leivable!" Palutena stormed into the cafeteria. "Master Hand tells us we have to share a room, but that space cunt gets a whole room all to herself! I'm a goddess! It should be me getting that kind of treatment!""Well," Willow offered cautiously, "have you considered the fact that Rosalina has to take care of like, heaps of Lumas, while your angels already have a place to sleep without you holding their hands?""SO?!" There was no reasoning with this green-haired bitch, Dark Pit thought as he watched the scene unfold, mumbling "selfish bitch" under his breath."PITTOO!"Fuck.And then Palutena was rapidly approaching him, her face an ugly beetroot colour."HOW DARE YOU SAY I'M A 'BITCH'! I'M NOT A BITCH! I'M A FUCKING GODDESS! AND I'M NOT UNREASONABLE! I'M PERFECTLY RATIONAL AND CALM!" The goddess swung at the angel with her staff. It collided with his cheek and he was sent sprawling onto the floor.Palutena seemed prepared to hit Dark Pit again but she found herself unable to. Her fists seemed to be frozen in place by an unseen force…The Force, in fact, as Stormy held onto Palutena's fists in her mind, preventing her from striking Dark Pit once more."Calm the hell down!" she called."And don't call me Pittoo!" Dark Pit said angrily, further enraging Palutena.But, try as she might, she could not break free of the force that bound her.Dark Pit picked himself up off the ground and ran back to his room. Beebs looked up at him in surprise as the door flew open, dropping her hairbrush in shock as the dark angel ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. There, he stood in front of the mirror.His cheek was already turning red from where Palutena hit him. He felt angry tears welling up in his eyes, but refused to let them fall. He wasn't about to give Palutena the satisfaction of crying.He found it difficult to believe that the goddess would beat him up just for fucking thinking.He had already begun plotting revenge.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Chapter 7: The Troubles Begin (Like They Haven't Already)Fox hurried down the corridors that were carpeted in thick red velvet.They can afford velvet carpet but we can't afford to have our own rooms?, he thought bitterly. He'd had his own room for the past three Smash tournaments, why has it suddenly changed? He'd have to ask Master Hand that, too.God damn, how big was this place? He thought he knew it at its biggest way back in Melee, but it seems like they keep adding onto it every year. Corridors branched off into unknown segments, twisting away down territory yet to be discovered. The walls were a dark oak and were covered by huge painted murals collected over the years. The lights were dimmed, and cast huge shadows. The whole corridor made him feel like he was trapped in a claustrophobic maze.Finally, he reached two large, ornate carved doors. Pushing them open, he revealed Master Hand's office.The gloved hand 'sat' at his desk, sorting through mounds of paper. He glanced up and said, "Oh, hello, Fox. What brings you here today?"Fox cleared his throat. "I want to file a complaint against someone."Master Hand's eyebrow raised. "Really. Who?""Uh, I think her name's Amalia.""Ah. I should have known that it would be her."Fox almost choked on his spit. What did he mean, he knew it would be her? Has she done something already that I don't know about? "W-why? And what's her problem?"Master Hand sighed. "Well, you'll be the first to know this Fox, but…"Suddenly, a burst of maniacal cackling echoed from the next floor up. Master Hand turned. "Quiet down, Crazy!"He turned his attention back to Fox."Now, as I was saying, after the whole Subspace Emissary fiasco, I became more concerned about security. The Miis are quite reliable, but what's a couple hundred Miis against technologically superior aliens-things? So, I called up an old friend of mine who runs a…'super modelling' agency and hired an entire squadron of his most promising employees. One of whom is Amalia. And," Master Hand took a deep breath and continued to speak."I say 'super modelling' agency, because that's just a cover. The company is, in fact, an organisation of hitmen and secret agents."Fox's jaw dropped to the floor. "Wh-what, a-are you...crazy!? Hiring a-a hitwoman?"Master Hand nodded. "That's exactly what Crazy said, which is kind of ironic, since he's done similar things in the past. But I trust my friend, and Amalia and the others are under a strict contract which states that they cannot harm or kill the smashers or Miis."Fox nodded, still uneasy. He understood Master Hand's rationale, but he didn't quite agree with this particular course of action. A whole squadron of hitmen and secret agents? A whole squadron? Sure, they may be here because Master Hand requested their presence, but who knew where their true loyalties lay? And what was to stop them turning on everyone once their contract ended? He felt a bit uncomfortable, knowing he'd have to share a mansion with them at all times for the entire year.That reminds him…"Also, I've been meaning to ask you," he said, "why don't we get our own rooms this year?""Uh, sorry Fox, I've gotta go now…" Master Hand said, his voice carrying a few suspicious tremors. He moved out from behind his desk and made for the office door. "See you later! Bye!"Fox was left alone in the office, wondering what the hell had just transpired.~*~Meanwhile, Pit was anxiously searching for his doppleganger. He had seen what Lady Palutena had done to him and it saddened him to think that his goddess would just flat-out hurt someone like that.Especially for thinking!He came across his clone sitting in the library, sifting through a huge stack of books."Pittoo!"His anxious blue eyes met annoyed red ones. The owner of the red eyes sighed. "Whaddya want?"Pit stopped and shyly turned his body away. "Uh, I saw what Lady Palutena did to you, and I wanted to uh, see if you were alright.""Well, I'm fine! I don't need or want your sympathy, so don't force-feed it to me, and just go away and leave me alone, okay?"Pit winced at his words. "Well, okay, then. Sorry for bothering you." His voice trailed off into a whisper.He left the library and Dark Pit turned back to his book, which was titled, "Vengeance Is Mine! How To Perform The Perfect Act Of Revenge".~*~Stormy emerged from the teletransporter, wiping the sweat off her brow. Her skirt was soaked from when she fell into the water. Fuck Delfino Harbour.She bumped into Samus making her way from the teletransporter that led to Final Destination. "Sup, Spamus."Samus sighed. "Great, now you're calling me that, too?" Stormy simply gave an evil grin in response.Samus deactivated her power suit, leaving her in her zero suit. "So, where did you place?""Second.""Hey, not bad for your first battle. You've got a good head start."Stormy frowned. "Head start for what?""The tournament."Stormy cocked her head."Do you seriously not know the rules?"Stormy gave an embarrassed grin and shrugged her shoulders. "No one ever explained them to me.""Fine, I'll explain them. This whole thing is one big tournament. You get a different amount of points depending on where you place in the battles. At the end of the year, the person with the most points wins. And there are a ton of miniature tourneys as well. And the winner of those gets a big ass point boost and a chocolate bar. Got it?"Stormy faked a salute. "Loud and clear, Captain!"The bounty hunter smiled thinly."Also, quick question," the teenager continued, "who won last year?"Samus wished she still had her power suit on so that Stormy couldn't see the pained look in her eye. "Dedede."~*~Late afternoon descended upon Crescent Moon. The groundskeepers who had been tending to the city's countless gardens all day started stepping indoors for a nice cold glass of ice tea and a cigarette. Or four. Families bustled about the shops and malls, searching for pointless 'white elephants' with no success. And down at the Smash Mansion, the air stunk of sweat and one particular hallway on the third floor smelled suspiciously like cum. But who was the source of the cum-like smell? (Spoiler: it was Captain Falcon).Marth, Lucina, Ike and Sheik were all gathered in the theatre room pondering over which theatrical masterpiece to view, now that they had all finished their battles for the day.Marth was on his knees, digging around in the cupboard."How about...Curtains of the Mind?" he asked, pulling out the somber grey disk case."No, too depressing." Lucina stated."Fine. How about All Eyes On Me?""Nah."Marth exhaled deeply. "Okay, what about Adventures in Fairyland?"The Ylissean princess scrunched up her nose in disapproval. "How old are you, four?"Ike laughed. "Nope. Not even a four year old could watch that bullshit.""Alright," Lucina said, not understanding the humour, "find something else."Marth dragged out all the disk cases, scattering them across the floor as he searched for an interesting title. "There isn't anything else.""Don't be stupid, Marth. Find. Something. Else.""No, seriously. There isn't anything else. At least, nothing that we'd all like.""Goddamnit! Find something!""I can't!""Oh, don't be lazy. Get down and find something, and stop being unreasonable!""What? I'm not being unreasonable!"And then the two blue-haired members of royalty stood up and verbally leapt at each other's throats. With all the yelling and chaos, it's a miracle the woman in the moon didn't hear them."Yikes," Ike mumbled to Sheik, "now I can see why the Hands paired them up together."Sheik simply sighed, and put her own disk into the slot and pressed the play button. Now the four of them were forced to sit through Adventures In Fairyland.~*~When Dark Pit stepped out of the teletransporter he could immediately smell the fresh air mingling with the scent of camellias. The birds chirped softly and the water feature gurgled away quietly. Artemis's garden was much better than Viridi's. Artemis's garden was one of neatness, symmetry, peace. Viridi's was just an unattractive, jumbled mess of weeds that she was fiercely protective of. Bleh.He walked down the terracotta path until he reached the pair of heavy wooden doors. One swung open, inviting him in. The hall was empty. Artemis would probably be in her studio.She was. When the angel entered, the moon goddess was sitting at her easel, flicking her paintbrush here and there over a large canvas. Without even turning around, she greeted him."Welcome, Dark Pit. What brings you here?"Dark Pit shrugged. "Dunno. Just needed to get away from everyone, I guess."Artemis laughed quietly. "A little space from everyone is always a good thing. But anyway, how is Smash working out for you?""Could be worse. Could be way fucking worse."The goddess nodded. "I take it you aren't enjoying yourself as much as you thought?""I didn't think I'd enjoy myself at all.""Well, perhaps this new book I found will take your mind off it."She smiled to herself when Dark Pit rushed over and grabbed the book from her outstretched arms. He sat on the floor by her feet and opened the cover eagerly. Dark Pit was always a sucker for something to read, ever since he learned how to read. Artemis had been the one to teach him, and she never yelled or got impatient if he struggled to understand something. She always took the time to sit down with him and work through it together.She was patient.She was gracious.She was so...unlike Palutena.God, no wonder Pit was so dim-witted. His precious goddess has absolutely no room in her big head to even think that Pit should learn to read (among many other things). While his doppleganger was devouring texts hundreds of pages in length, Pit could barely even recognise his own name in writing.But while Palutena was a pretentious, pig-headed person, Viridi was just straight-up mean and spiteful towards the dark angel. She clearly favoured Arlon, Phosphora and even Cragalanche. They received the highest possible praise and the most Dark Pit ever got was 'Whatever. Now go do so-and-so".He wasn't quite sure what warranted his being kicked out of Viridi's domain. Was it because he made Phosphora 'cry'? Well, she was being a bitch! She stole his fucking lunch and had the audacity to blame him for it! Anyway, she deserved that punch to the face. And she was totally faking being upset, he knew she was. Phosphora isn't a crier. But whatever the true reason, Viridi sacked him and sent him on his way.With nowhere else to go, he hesitantly made his way to Palutena's domain. Pit was both excited and surprised to see him. The centaurians were confused as to why there were two Pits. Palutena herself reluctantly let him stay, but then she gave him the smallest room. It wasn't even a room, really. It was a frickin closet or storage area of some kind. It became even more of a stab in the gut when it became known that there were plenty of guest rooms that he could have stayed in.The room situation could have turned out a lot worse, actually. There was thankfully enough room to squeeze in a single bed. The walls were lined with shelves all up and down, where he could store his few belongings. This left very little floor space, but whatever. He had his own quiet, dark little space, far away from Pit and Palutena's bedrooms.But it didn't just end with the miniscule room. Dark Pit wasn't allowed to enter the kitchen without a centaurian watching to make sure he 'didn't cause any trouble'. He wasn't allowed to use the hot spring or training facilities. He had to bathe in the stream and go into the woods to do his training. The "gracious goddess of light" made it obvious that the dark angel wasn't welcome in her domain.Artemis was good and beautiful and selfless.Viridi was mean and bitchy.Palutena was selfish and spiteful.And Pit was oblivious to all of it.~*~Back at the Smash Mansion, Peach was busy chatting with Zelda and Shulk."...So then I told her, you're not supposed to microwave it with the spoon still in it!" Peach said, shaking her head in relived exasperation.Shulk let out a chuckle. "Daisy sounds like a riot!""She sure is!" Peach nodded in agreement. "And a dangerous one too, sometimes."Zelda rested her chin on her hand. "What's Daisy up to these days? I thought she'd be getting into Smash this year.""She didn't get invited. She's very disappointed." Peach said. "She's watching the Mushroom Kingdom for me while I'm here." She turned to gaze out the window. "I do hope she's not still moping around."At that moment, Daisy was in her bright orange bedroom in the castle in the Mushroom Kingdom, lying on her bed, shoving salted peanuts into her mouth while watching stupidly funny internet videos, completely unaware of what was about to transpire that afternoon.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"And that," Stormy said as she shoved a forkful of spaghetti into her mouth, "is how me and my cousin almost burned down our neighbour's house.""Wow," Little Mac breathed, "that's impressive."Lucina stood up. "Yes! Impressively stupid! You could have died!"The teengaer simply shrugged. "Yeah, but whatever." She raised her glass of iced tea to her lips.Stormy, Samus, Lucina, Palutena and their buddies had gone out to a backwater restaurant for dinner. The restaurant was positioned over the river that ran through the city. A walkway ran alongside it, treating walkers to the magnificent views of the prized, hard-won gardens. Plus, this particular area of river was in a back alley in a not-so-great part of town, hence 'backwater'. Lucina and Palutena had both balked at the idea of dining in such an unsophisticated manner, but they were outvoted by everyone else, who thought the place had 'charm'.Pit giggled. "I liked your story, Stormy. It was funny.""The funniest stories are always the true ones.""And here I was, still hoping that you were making it up for attention," Lucina mumbled.Stormy heard, and said, "I stopped doing that years ago."Samus slammed her empty beer bottle on the table and said "Okay, who's got another story to share?" loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.Marth's hand shot up faster than a speeding bullet. "Ooh ooh ooh, me me me!""'Kay, whatcha got?""I once saw a ghost giraffe!"Sonic almost choked on his tomato soup. "A fucking ghost giraffe? That's stupid!""It's true!"The blue hedgehog chuckled. He clearly didn't believe what he was hearing.Marth huffed and crossed his arms. "Yeah, well maybe if you saw it for yourself…"Samus shook her head, an amused grin on her face. "Just tell us about the ghost giraffe, Marth.""Fine. It all began one stormy grey night…""Skip the artistic intro." Palutena mumbled through a mouthful of soup.Marth pouted, and then continued with his story. "So, I woke up in the middle of the night and I was thirsty so I got up out of bed to go get a drink of water. I went down the hallway, and there, I saw it! The ghost giraffe! It went right through the wall and into the dining hall! But when I went in, nothing was there!"Little Mac was unimpressed. "Seriously? Even Pit could come up with a better story than that.""But it's true! I swear on my life that I'm not making this up!"Everyone simply rolled their eyes. Marth saw, and got angrier."Fine, don't believe me! I'm going to the bathroom.""Yeah, and take your godawful ghost stories with you." Samus called after the prince. She then turned to face the white angel. "Now Pit, since you're apparently a better storyteller than Marth, let's hear what you've got."And so Pit launched into a tale of rocks, horses and rainbows that faintly resembled what someone having a drug trip might experience.But everyone just shrugged and said "It's still better than Marth's story."Marth came back to the table right when the waiter was bringing dessert to the other Smashers. They ranged from extravagantly iced cakes and buns to the kiddie ice cream sundae loaded with sprinkles. Everyone ate with relish except for Marth, who was still salty about the supposed ghost giraffe incident.It was past nine o'clock when they arrived back at the mansion. The party of eight changed into their sleepwear and passed out as soon as their heads hit their pillows.~*~The next morning, the Smashers filed into the cafeteria only to find that the Lumas had stolen all the fruit and were having some kind of party in the observatory. They miserably choked down their boring muesli without fruit to spice it up.Falco spied Amalia sitting with a blonde woman in the corner and practically leapt over to them. He slid into the seat next Amalia, saying "Hey, beautiful. Who's this?"Amalia's eyelid twitched with anger.The blonde gave a wide smile. "I'm Victoria! And you must be Falco. Amalia's told me so much about you!"Falco's eyes widened. "What did she say about me?""Oh! She said you were rude, and unnaturally creepy, and that you need a life…""Ah," Falco nodded understandably "part of a good relationship is being honest with one another."That comment earned the cocky blue bird a slap in the face and a threat detailing some very graphic stuff involving a fork and a part of the body where forks don't belong.~*~After Dark Pit managed to sneak over to Artemis's temple for breakfast (she makes nice pancakes - with strawberries too!) without getting caught by the mansion's resident bitch-goddess, the resident bitch-goddess in question approached him in the hallway."Hey!" she called sharply. "Pit's still in bed and it's past eight. Go wake him up.""Why can't you just do it yourself?"Palutena' eyes narrowed. "Just do what I ask you to, goddammit. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know."Oh, the irony.After a few more heated comments, Dark Pit was physically forced into the bedroom, with the door shut behind him. Little Mac was in there, sorting out his socks. He was visibly surprised to see Dark Pit being forced to do Palutena's bidding.Dark Pit stood on the second rung of the ladder on the bunks. He reached his hand out and shook Pit's shoulder."Get up, it's half past eight already."Pit mumbled something incoherent and rolled over."Pit. Get the hell up. Now."Pit swatted his clone away. "Nooo, later.""For fucks sake, get up or Palutena's gonna flip out on…"He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Pit threw back the covers and leapt from his bunk."No no no no no, I don't want Lady Palutena to flip out on me!"Dark Pit cleared his throat. "Actually, I she would flip out on me."Pit stared at him, perplexed. "But why would she flip out on you? You're nice!"Dark Pit, a little taken aback, said "Yeah, well she flips out on me all the time. Remember yesterday morning?"Pit looked at him, before he turned and ran out of the room, still trying to put on his sandals as he did so. Dark Pit remained in the bedroom, wondering why Pit - of all people - had called him nice.Pit, meanwhile, was frantically searching for his goddess. He was still a little incredulous of what Pittoo had said about Lady Palutena, but everything was slowly starting to add up. Why he never saw his clone in the hot springs or the training facilities. Why his bedroom was little more than a closet. Why he was always in the kitchen with the centaurians. Did Lady Palutena not trust him? Did she...hate him? But why?And - oh god - why did he say that Pittoo was nice? Well, he is, kinda. To him, at least. But why did he have to say that out loud? Pittoo's gonna think he's weird!~*~Toonie hurled his boomerang. It struck Samus - in her Zero Suit - in the temple. She thrust her knee into his gut and the kid doubled over. Samus saw her chance and kicked him repeatedly with her jet heels. She watched gleefully as he spiraled through the sky out of sight."GAME!"In the teletransporter, Toonie shoved the bounty hunter out of the way and stormed down the hall. Eh, whatever. He'll get over it. Ness'll make sure he will."Sup."Stormy ran up to Samus. "Hey cool, you won."Samus grinned, and flexed her arms. "Yep, that's how I roll."Stormy stopped. "Hey, have you seen Peach? I got a call from Daisy last night saying that she's gonna stay at my house and watch my cats after all. I thought I should let Peach know."The blonde woman shook her head. "Nope. Haven't seen her."~*~Peach had, in fact, already been told the news, and she was not happy about it. She stormed through the hallways, trying to find Stormy to see if she knew what the hell was going on.How could Daisy just up and leave? She was infuriatingly vague about why, too. She just said that she couldn't stay in the castle anymore, and that the Toads can totally take care of things themselves. Obviously they can't! Why else would Peach leave Daisy in charge?Peach had her head down, frantically scrolling through her phone looking for someone else who could watch over the kingdom, when Toonie stomped towards her and rudely shoved her aside."Excuse me!" Peach shrieked, already not in a good mood. "That was very rude!""Suck my ass!" Toonie shouted back, also not in a good mood after having lost most of his matches that day.Peach stamped her foot petulantly. Kids today could be so rude!And no, it wasn't just the result of two people having a bad day and unfortunately crossing paths with each other. Back in Brawl, Toonie and the Ice Climbers, and sometimes even Ness, got up to all sorts of mischief and mayhem. They'd disrupted the peace in the mansion more times than Peach could count. And from what she'd seen of the younger fighters this year, things would be no different. She was already trying to deal with the fallout of her and Mario's relationship ending, she didn't need to also deal with temper tantrums and childish behaviour.She knew Master Hand didn't want to deal with it either, seeing as how he installed the Buddy Programme, but surely there was something else to be done, right? Something that taught the kids how to behave properly? Something to show them the importance of patience, peace and maturity?Wait.That's it!Stormy and Daisy can wait. She was going to go and tell Master Hand her brilliant idea.~*~In the Assist House, Saki and Samurai Goroh had gotten into a debate over whether they should try to reinhabit Kereshbough. Saki said that they should just send in zombie exterminators (do those even exist?) and Samurai Goroh said that it was impossible; the zombies were there to stay.Lyn watched the argument unfold with interest. The subject of the island of Kereshbough had always fascinated her, and whenever she heard the name being uttered, no matter who uttered it, she would always stop and listen.She hadn't been alive when Kereshbough was still a normal, functioning part of society, having been born several years after the tragedy happened, but she felt a strange connection to it. It wasn't just that the story of zombies taking over an entire island and its population piqued her interest; this was something that went just a little past morbid curiosity. It felt like her entire being had something to do with Kereshbough. What, exactly, she didn't know.Chrom suddenly barged into the room, huffing and red in the face. He turned to face her and gestured for her to come over to him."Master Hand wants to see us," he explained."What for?' she asked.Chrom shrugged. "Something to do with babysitting someone? I'm not sure myself, to be honest.""Let's go, then." Lyn followed Chrom out of the assist House, leaving the argument behind.

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In Zelda's dream, she was sitting on a stool that was on the porch of a rustic wooden cabin. The cabin itself was perched on the edge on a grassy cliff, with a beach to the left and ocean in every other direction as far as the eye can see.Zelda stood up and walked over to the very edge. A breeze ruffled her long brown hair that hung freely from her usual decorations. The grass felt silky and cold. Behind her, she could feel a presence in the cabin, though she did not turn to see who it was. Judging by the sky, it looked to be late afternoon. The sun was shining directly into the princess' face.She instinctively threw her hands up to cover her eyes. As she did, she felt slippery, clammy fingers encircle around her ankle and pull.Zelda was sent tumbling over the edge of the cliff towards the sea below. A scream burst from her lips and she helplessly thrust her hands towards the sky. As she did, she swore she could make out the dark, almost void eyes and the crazy smile that accompanied them.Zelda sat bolt upright in bed and smacked her head against the ceiling. Top bunks were the worst sometimes.Her hands instantly went for her ankle. As skin touched skin, the damp feeling disappeared instantly. She was safe. No cabin, no cliff, nothing. Just the same cramped bedroom as everyone else in this mansion.She didn't even have time to clear her mind and calm down, because Peach burst into the room and excitedly announced that Master Hand had created something called the Young Ones programme. This brand spanking-new programme, Peach explained, was designed to keep the younger smashers out of trouble by sending them away to participate in meaningful activities, and to hopefully teach them important life skills such as patience and teamwork.That sounded all well and good, until Peach said that the programme was for everyone under the age of twenty, the age group to which Zelda belonged, and their first meeting was today. Oh, and attendance was Mandatory with a capital M.Needless to say, Zelda was already pretty displeased when she entered the games room where the other kids were waiting. She was relieved to see Shulk sitting by the pool table, where he was watching Ness and Toonie duke it out with the pool table stick-thingys. Link was also there, trying to break up the fight between the two.At least she could be with Shulk and Link.Eventually, Chrom entered the games room, followed by Lyn. The "young ones" stopped to stare at them."Hello, my name is Chrom, and this is Lyn. We're here because Master Hand has asked us to be the leaders of the Young Ones programme. As part of this programme, you will, hopefully, stay out of trouble by engaging in harmless physical and mental activities and develop healthy and meaningful relationships with your peers.""Yaaaaawwn," Stormy droned from where she reclined on an old beat-up sofa chair.Chrom ignored her and pulled out a clipboard to begin roll call. "Okay, Toonie and Stormy are here, then there's Ness, Link, Pit, the other Pit, Shulk, Little Mac and...Zelda! Okay, we all here?...good lets go!"Next thing she knew, Zelda was in the back seat of an obviously brand new minivan, squashed between Link and Shulk. In the next seats ahead were Little Mac and the two angels, while Ness and Toonie sat in the seats behind Chrom and Lyn while Stormy was in the boot, much to her chagrin.Chrom turned the key and the engine grumbled into life. They began pulling away from the mansion gates, the charcoal-black ornate designs shining in the sunlight.Twenty seconds down the road and Ness and Toonie were already bickering about God knows what. Not only that, but they were taking swipes at each other and kicking frantically. Chrom's face set into an expression of agitation and frustration."Geez," Link commented, "so glad we don't argue like that.""Me too." That was all Zelda had to say.As if to retaliate, the fighting increased in volume. Now there was just too much noise in a tiny space. Stormy, along with everyone else in the van, had had enough."If you two don't shut the fuck up, I'll take your hats and EAT THEM!"Most would laugh in confusion at a threat like that, but it worked perfectly. The two kids instantly grabbed their headwear and crammed it further on their heads."Nooo! Please don't eat our hats!""Yeah, they weren't cheap, ya know!" Toonie paused for a bit, then continued speaking. "Besides, they're way better than Captain Falcon's lame hat.""I think it's more of a helmet," Little Mac said."Hey, speaking of Captain Falcon," Link added, "I share a room with him, you know, and I walked in a couple days ago and the entire room smelled like jizz.""Ew" came a voice from the boot.Lyn groaned. "What was he doing in there?""I bet he was whipping it out." Toonie giggled."Probably. He completely denied it, though." Link sighed.Pit turned around with a confused expression on his face. "Uh, what's jizz? And what does "whipping it out" mean? Is it, like, another way to say 'whipping cream?'"The entire van went silent. Even the talkative Toonie shut his mouth. Nobody could think of what to say - and how to say it - to the too-innocent-for-his-own-good angel."I dibs not telling him!" Stormy announced.The contents of the van let out simultaneous groans."Look Pit," Chrom finally said, "we'll discuss this later. For now, let's just keep going."After half an hour of driving and brooding, they arrived at their destination: Jardin du Snobisme, the most prestigious garden in all of Crescent Moon. Which is saying something, since Crescent Moon is famed for its gardens.This particular garden was owned by one of the richest couples in the city, whose eye for design and aesthetics was virtually world-renowned. Their garden wasn't usually open to the public (unless they were hosting a festival or special viewing) so Master Hand had obviously pulled quite a few strings to make sure the Young Ones's first outing was a good one.Near the vans parking spot stood the snooty looking couple, easily in their fifties or sixties. Behind them was a lush green hill lined with fountains, neatly trimmed hedges and flowers coloured pretty shades of pastel. They'd clearly worked very hard on this, so it would be very important to not mess anything up. It would be a good exercise in self-control.As soon as Chrom opened the door however, Ness, Toonie and Pit ran underfoot and made a beeline for the hill, intent on rolling down it as fast as possible.Zelda watched them through the window and almost wished it was socially acceptable for a princess such as herself to roll down the hill without passersby thinking: what is a princess doing, dirtying herself up? Shouldn't she be indoors, drinking delicately flavoured tea and practising her curtseys?Her thoughts were interrupted by Shulk suddenly blurting out "whipping cream!" and he and the others collapsed into fits of laughter.Dark Pit, however, watched his twin rolling down the hill, getting greener and greener with grass blood, and the amusingly mortified looks on the snooty couples faces. He knew it was gonna be his responsibility to watch Pit, even though Chrom and Lyn were more than capable, but Palutena would have a fit if anything happened to her precious little Pit, and would more than likely blame him for it.The old woman, who possessed a face like that of a cat's butt, sauntered over to the van, looking most displeased."Please sir, when we so graciously allowed you to use our gardens to host a picnic, we had no idea your children would be so dearly out of control!" She exclaimed to Chrom.Chrom rushed an apology, saying that they just needed to stretch their legs and they would clean up any mess that they made.The old lady sniffled. "Excellent, because the cost of any damage is coming straight from your paycheck."Even though Chrom wasn't getting paid for this at all. This was evidently a warning she was accustomed to throwing around.After Chrom spoke to the three grassy green beans and got them cleaned up, it was time for lunch.Lyn unraveled the picnic blanket. It had a bizarre zigzag pattern coloured black and yellow and neon blue. Quite interesting to look at but stood out like a sore thumb amidst the plush grass.Chrom heaved two huge baskets and plonked them down in the middle of the blanket."Right," he announced. "The brown one has the food we're gonna start off with and the black one has stuff for dessert. So no snooping in there. Got it?""Can we just hurry up and eat?" Stormy said impatiently, "I'm starving."So they all sat down and tucked into their sandwiches (the first things Chrom handed out) ravenously.Except Zelda.She was hungry, but that odd and creepy dream had taken the edge off of her appetite. So she sat and stared at the tomato and chicken sandwich on the paper plate in front of her."Are you gonna finish that?" Pit spoke with his mouth full. Of course he had scoffed three sandwiches before anyone had even finished their first."No," the princess shrugged."Zelda," Link began, "are you alright? You haven't eaten a thing.""I'm not hungry," was the response."Are you sure?" Link asked. "You haven't eaten anything all day."Zelda sighed. "It's just this dream I had last night. It's kind of putting me off of food for now.""You had a dream, eh? Was it about me?" Shulk asked sweetly.That got a laugh out of Zelda. "No, but I wish it was. Instead I dreamed that someone pulled me off a cliff. And whoever it was had the most insane look I've ever seen. With a creepy smile to boot."Link made a choking noise. "Y-you saw her too?""Saw who? Yo mama? I bet it was yo mama!" Toonie chimed in."No Toonie, it wasn't my mama. It was…"But before Link could say any more, the old lady shrieked from the edge of the garden. Everyone spun around to see what the commotion was.Stormy was kneeling by a flowerbed composed of delicate purple flowers shaped like little bells and was reaching out as if to touch one and inspect it further.The old lady was by her side, face bright red with anger. "No! Please, we beg of you, do not touch the foxglove! They were imported all the way from Earth and do not need your grubby fingers pulling them apart!" The old lady finished her rant and stared down disappointingly at Stormy.But Stormy stared back defiantly and said, "Geezus lady, I only wanted to have a look. There's no need to scream at me!"Lyn walked over and gently placed her hands on Stormy's shoulders. "Stormy, come away now and finish lunch. Leave the flowers alone."Stormy gritted her teeth. "Fine."As she turned to walk away, the old lady snorted. "Filthy animal," she said under her breath.Stormy immediately wheeled back around and marched over to her, reeling back her fist as she did so."YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU OLD CU-" Stormy was cut off by Lyn rushing forward and separating the two before Stormy could sock the old lady in the face.The old lady gasped in shock at this unseemly behaviour. Stormy folded her arms and fumed silently as Lyn tuned to the lady."I am so sorry about this," Lyn said as she stepped forward and patted her shoulder apologetically. "She doesn't normally act like this."The old lady harrumphed. Lyn brushed past her dress as she walked back over to Stormy and placed a hand on her back, pushing her back to the blanket where Chrom was serving pasta salad out of two huge plastic containers."That was unnecessary," she whispered, but she surprisingly didn't sound angry.Once the pasta salad dishes were cleared away, Stormy seemed to have gotten over the flower incident. She pulled her phone and a box-shaped speaker out from under her skirt. Just a few taps on her phone's screen resulted in spacey 80's pop echoing through the gardens via the speaker."YEAH!" Toonie shouted as he and Ness stood up and began to dance in the most obnoxious way possible. Well, Toonie was at least. Ness was genuinely trying to dance like a normal human being and not like a cow whose tail had been jammed into an electrical socket.Then Pit couldn't resist the beat and busted out a few dance moves of his own. He was quickly followed by Shulk and Stormy herself. And not even Lyn could resist the beat. Neither could Link. Or Little Mac. Or Zelda.Zelda was running out of breath. But she couldn't stop. It was too exhilarating, twirling around in a circle, waving her arms in the air and laughing without anyone judging her. Somewhere, Ness and Toonie were giggling like girls at a sleepover but Zelda paid no attention to them. She was in her own little dizzying world and no one could pull her out of it.Except for the old man who marched over and slammed the 'pause' button on Stormy's phone."NO MUSIC ALLOWED ON THE PREMISES!" He screamed.The kids stopped their moves and "awwww"ed simultaneously.The old man shook his head disapprovingly. "You people have been disruptive enough. Pack up your things and leave immediately. And," he waggled a finger at Chrom, "we expect to be paid double for the trouble you have caused us."Chrom's head dropped. "Yes sir. Alright you lot, let's pack up.""Will we still get dessert?" Pit asked, still thinking of food as usual."No! You all need to learn how to behave before you can have dessert!" Chrom snapped.Pit pouted.~*~Chrom had finally wrestled the kids back into the van and was about to step in himself when he was approached by the old lady."When can we expect to be paid?" She demanded."Um, I'll have to ask Master Hand about that, but uh, hopefully in the next week or so." He gave a weak apologetic smile but was met with the 'hand wave of dismissal' that all snooty people love to use.After the van had rounded a bend in the road, Lyn reached up her hand for the whole van to see and flourished a reddish-brown leather wallet that must have undoubtedly cost a small fortune - and contained a small fortune."Hey, who wants a treat?"Above the clamourings of "me me me!", Chrom turned to Lyn and said, "Where did you get that?!" He was met with a sneaky grin and he understood.He should have been worried that Lyn pickpocketing the old lady during Stormy's confrontation with her would come off badly on everyone, but he could worry about it later. Right now, he'll just consider this revenge for her talking down to him like he wasn't worthy of the time of her day.They stopped by an ice cream store in the city. They 'oooh'ed and 'aaah'ed at the refreshing site of the crystal-clear windows and decor and the array of ice cream and gelato before them.As they exited with their icy treats, paid for with their ill-gotten cash, they spied the mall. Newly built just the year prior, with sparkling stained-glass facades and fountains in the courtyard. None of them had seen it before and they were all curious as to what was inside."Can we go in? Pleeeeease?!" Pit begged, his lips covered in chocolate ice cream.Chrom shrugged. After the disastrous picnic, he was up for exploring the new mall. "You know what, let's do it!"Lyn patted the wallet in her pocket. "Now you're talking. Everything's on me!"As soon as they set foot through the sliding glass doors, the party of eleven all took off in their own separate directions with the instructions to find Lyn, who had the wallet, if they wanted anything.Pit had run off in search of more dessert but Dark Pit had stayed behind. He wandered aimlessly through the seemingly endless and impossibly shiny hallways full of shops that sold all sorts of bits and bobs, mindlessly licking at his strawberry gelato.So many stores, so many things being sold and so many dollars to spend. He didn't know where to look first. This place confused him. People come here to spend their hard-earned cash on semi-useless junk? How fun.On the opposite side of the spectrum, Pit was tearing around, in and out of stores and up and down the hallways. So much fun to be here. Here, he has money to spend. And he had a wide variety of random stuff to choose from! Anything he wanted, he could get it! He was just like all of the other ordinary citizens who had come here with the same purpose in mind!~*~Little Mac stopped by the supplements store to check it out and Lyn appeared behind him."Want something?"Little Mac didn't say a word. Instead, he picked up a comically large container of protein shake powder and pointed at the front counter. Lyn got the message and whipped out the wallet.~*~Pit had found a small gourmet bakery and immediately set his sights on an enormous raspberry cream gateau. It towered above everything else in the display, covered in velvet-red icing and blobs of cream shaped like little stars. Pit's breath and drool was fogging up the glass of the display case.Lyn sauntered up to him. "Got something in mind, Pit?"Pit turned and gave Lyn the most pleading look ever. Lyn rolled her eyes with a smile and ordered the gateau.~*~Stormy sifted through the rack, jostling aside various dresses. She pulled off one in particular and skipped off to the dressing room.When she emerged, guess who showed up?Lyn admired the dress Stormy picked. It was floor-length, sleeveless and cut off just below her shoulders, leaving her arms and shoulders uncovered. The top wrapped around her torso and met at the back where they were tied into a bow. The fabric was a mesmerising swirl of blue and green.Lyn was in awe. "Wow, I love that dress!""So do I. Can I get it?""Of course! Now listen; are you any good at cracking codes and PIN numbers?"Stormy pulled a thumbs-up. "You know it!" she declared.Lyn leaned in a little closer. "Good, because I'm nearly out of cash. We'll pay for that dress now and then you can run this credit card to an ATM, find the PIN number and withdraw some more cash.""Sounds good." Stormy nodded. "How much cash do you need?"Lyn winked. "Use your judgment."~*~Zelda glided her fingers over the bow. It was painted white and yellow. The sun's colours. The bow of light. The arrows were also of matching colours.Link was over on the other side of the weapons store, marvelling over diamond-encrusted armour. She came up to him. "You likey?""Me wanty."Zelda giggled. "I wonder what Midna would say if she saw you in that!""Well," Link thought out loud, "she'd probably say I look like Steve, then she'd go back on it and call me a sexy beast and then…""Hey," Zelda hurriedly cut Link off before he could get into the juicy details, "I think you can stop right there!""Hello, you two," Lyn said, suddenly appearing behind them. "Anything in particular that you want?"Link and Zelda looked at each other and smiled. "Yes!" they said simultaneously.~*~Shulk made a mad dash for cover behind a plushy seating area. He was down to his last two bullets, so he needed to make them count. Especially since he was outnumbered two to one.He then heard the dreaded sound of someone cocking a nerf gun and "Shulky Shulk, where aaare youuu?"Shulk's hands became more slippery with sweat, making it difficult to hold the gun properly.Acting on impulse, he barrel-rolled out of his hiding spot and squeezed the trigger. The foam bullet narrowly missed Ness' leg as he jumped on the seats around the seating area. Toonie seized the moment to jump in and pelted Shulk with machine gun rounds of foam bullets. The blonde man was now on the floor, cry-laughing and begging Toonie to please stop shooting him.Ness triumphantly planted his foot on Shulk's back and declared "we're the champions now!"Toonie cradled his nerf gun. "Man, I am so glad we got these. These things are sweet as!"~*~Lyn found Dark Pit in the bookstore, staring enchantedly at the literal hundreds of books lining the shelves. He had only seen this amount of books in Artemis' library, but it never occurred to him that she had to have gotten them from somewhere.The swordswoman poked his shoulder. "Anything strike your fancy?"Dark Pit picked out several books and, almost shyly, held them out."Could I get these?""You sure can, dude!" Lyn mentally shook her head at how different these two angels were. One wanted to eat and the other wanted to read. Different indeed.~*~An hour later, the eleven members of the YO programme met up at the entrance, their arms weighed down with bags full of assorted goodies. It was time to go back to the mansion.And guess who was stuck in the back with all the shopping?When they arrived back home, no one appeared to have even noticed they were gone. Except for Palutena and Samus.They stood together on the front porch and ran to greet their respective smashers."Well, shit, how'd you afford all that?!" Samus asked Stormy."It's a long-ass story you're gonna like, trust me," the teen had responded with."Lady Palutena!""Hello Pit." She smiled, "it seems like you had a lot of fun.""I did! We went to a picnic, then we got ice cream, then we went to my first ever shopping mall! I bought a big cake! It was awesome!" Palutena was a little surprised at his level of energy.~*~Dark Pit hurried into his bedroom. Luckily no one was in there. Good. If anyone saw him with this it would be really embarrassing to explain.He hoisted himself up into his bunk and made himself comfortable. He took a breath and pulled out one on the books he had bought. But this was not like any ordinary book.It was erotica.Gay erotica.You shouldn't be so embarrassed about it, Dark Pit told himself. Lots of people read erotica. It-it's normal. Perfectly normal.Plus, it made him feel a little better about his sexuality.
There's nothing wrong with my sexuality, is there? No of course not. Of course not.

Then, why am I too embarrassed to tell anyone? Do I have to tell anyone? No, I'm just being paranoid. No sane person is going to brand me an outcast because of that. But Palutena might. But what the fuck does she know about anything?
He opened the book and began reading.Before long, he needed relief. And no one else was going to do it except himself. Might as well do it in the shower. Get clean, get rid of any giveaway smells, the opposite of what Captain Falcon did.The room was still empty, so he could take all the time he needed.The shower sprang to life when he turned it on and swung the temperature lever to in between the lukewarm and hot settings.The dark angel stripped down and stepped into the tub part and sat down. Part bath, part shower, couldn't the designers make up their minds, he thought.The water dripped down his face and clung to his skin and hair. Now, time to get down to business.He grabbed his member and a shiver ran up his spine. He took a quick breath and began a slow stroking motion. Good, but not enough. He was already so hard from what he read. He thought back to it, the description of what exactly was transpiring and as he recalled those words and paragraphs his hand began to move faster and faster until it seemed like he was going to come and he wanted that feeling of being held back but he also desperately wanted to release all he had inside him.He was wet and hard and completely alone, no one could hear his low moan of pleasure yet he wanted someone to hear his voice, to come to him and help him release. Someone who is good at answering a cry with a sweet heartwarming action. The first person to spring to mind was Pit.And then he finally came.He looked down and his hand and thighs were covered in "whipped cream". Dark Pit lay back against the edge of the tub and sighed contently. He had done it. The water cascaded over him, bringing more warmth to his body. He was in a state of total relaxation until he heard a high-pitched squeal of a voice in his bedroom. That was when he sat bolt upright.It sounded like one of those blasted Lumas.(It was.)"Helloooo…?" The Luma called. "Is someone in the shower? Come out! I know you're in there! Mama needs help and…"For fucks sake, Dark Pit thought, couldn't he have a moment of peace?"Go away!" He growled."But," the voice persisted, "Mama needs help with something! Were you not listening…?"Dark Pit stood up angrily and a little too quickly. He lost his balance and slipped backwards, smacking his head against the taps. He let out a yell of pain and his vision went a little blurry. A stinging pain erupted in the back of his head."Are you okay?" The Luna chirped, "I'm coming in to see if you're okay!""For gods sake, fuck off!" Dark Pit was furious at the thought of having his privacy invaded."No I have to see if your alright…" The Luma pushed open the door and the whole scene was revealed to him."...MAMA! MISTER DARK PIT NEEDS HELP!" The star baby turned and floated, screaming down the hallway."Oh sweetie, do stop yelling… I'm sure Dark Pit doesn't want you to scream about it..."Damn right I don't, the angel thought."Dark Pit, are you all right?" Came the gentle voice.He struggled to find his voice. His head stung and he was pissed off and still partially aroused at the same time."BUT MAMA, HIS HEAD'S BLEEDING!" The Luma was in a state of shock, obviously."Oh!" Without thinking, Rosalina opened the door. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the naked angel."AUUUUGUUUUEEE!" She shrieked, and shielded her eyes."Get out get out get out!" Dark Pit was madly embarrassed about being so exposed. He grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around his waist. He said "it's okay to look now."Rosalina uncovered her eyes and immediately rushed to his side."Oh honey, you are bleeding!" She gently placed her fingers over the wound in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood. Dark Pit hissed in pain and she pulled him closer. With her free hand, she grabbed the hand towel and pressed that against the angel's head."It's going to be alright. I'll try and stop the blood." She turned to the Luma. "Cosma, send for Dr Mario at once.""Yes Mama!" Cosma tittered."What a terrible thing to happen, I do hope you get better soon…" Rosalina muttered, before gently lifting him up and carrying him out of the bathroom."What are you doing?" Dark Pit asked, feeling exhausted after everything that had happened."You must lie down now." She placed him on his stomach, with his forehead resting against the pillow of his bunk.As they waited for Dr Mario, Dark Pit stole a glance at Rosalina. Just what he feared. A heavy blush was covering her cheeks, and he noted the telltale smell. The water had failed to wash some of the liquid away.She knew, and she knew he knew she knew.

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When Cosma returned with the news that Doctor Mario couldn't be bothered to come, Rosalina decided to take matters into her own hands. She once again scooped the angel up and marched down into the lower levels of the mansion. Down the blindingly white halls she went until she came across the door to the infirmary. She kicked the door open with her foot and yelled for someone's attention.Doctor Mario jumped out of his chair at all the noise. He spied the blood staining the sleeves of Rosalina's dress and said "What the…""Do not play the 'what the' card with me, Doc. Cosma and I asked for your assistance and you refused!"Doc scratched the back of his scalp. "Cosma, you say? I haven't seen her all day. And what's this about needing assistance?"Rosalina's arms slacked with surprise, to the point where Dark Pit found himself slipping from her grasp.Doc rushed forward and supported the feathery bundle. "Rosa! Be careful! Here, lay him down on one of the beds…"Once Dark Pit was positioned on the bed, Doc began to examine his head wound."That's quite a lot of blood for the head injury you sustained…"Rosalina gasped. "Will he be alright?"Doc waved reassuringly. "Yeah yeah he'll be fine. Just need to clean the wound, see if we can patch it up and he'll be as good as gold.""Good. Because I need to have a word to Cosma about honesty…"Dark Pit was thanking whatever divine being that was preventing Doc from asking why he was almost buck naked and wet in more ways than one. He now welcomed the prospect of getting all this goddamn blood cleaned off.~*~"Death is her boyfriend…she spits on summers and smiles to the night…" Beebs' voice was as smooth as butter and as cold as ice. "She collects crowns made of black roses...but her heart's made of bubblegum…"Falco sat behind the drum set, his hands and arms working hard to keep the beat aligned with the singing. He'd recently started learning how to play the instrument and was determined to play everything perfectly.Next to him was Robin on the guitar. He'd also recently picked up an instrument and was glad to practice with Falco and Beebs.Lucina lay splayed out on one of the chairs. After a stressful day of battles, she could finally relax and unwind. Her foot absentmindedly followed the beat of the drums. Duck Hunt were curled up on a nearby chair. But when Hunt's ears perked up at the sound of bare feet rapidly slapping the wooden floors of the hallway, Lucina began dreading who was next going to walk in.Stormy threw open the door to the music room, ran to the storage room and pulled out a saxophone. Lucina thought she might interrupt Falco, Beebs and Robin but luckily for them they finished up just then.Robin clapped loudly. "Bravo, Bibi!"Beebs blushed. "Thanks, and don't call me that!""Hold up," Stormy said, "her name is Bibi?""Yes!" Beebs, her face as red as a fire engine, dashed out of the room."She doesn't really like being called Bibi," Robin explained."Then why'd you call her that just now?"Robin shrugged. "Brother-sister stuff.""Oh." Stormy was silent for a moment. "I like the name Bibi better than Beebs.""She doesn't.""Whatever." Stormy leaped up onto the stage in front of the microphone. "Anyway," she said, holding up the microphone, "you guys aren't the only ones who can play something." She lifted the saxophone to her lips and blew.What came out the other end was not a great song like she was expecting. Instead, it was several high-pitched notes that carried on for far too long and had everyone covering their ears."OH GOD." Falco ran for the safety of anywhere but the music room. Robin slowly backed away. Hunt let out an annoyed howl. And Lucina felt her temper rising.~*~In the Assist House, Toonie burst into the living room. Saki, who had previously been sitting on the couch minding his own business, threw up his hands as the boy circled around him, nerf gun in hand.The crackling sound of a potato chip being stepped on brought Toonie's attention to a passing Waluigi."Hold still, prisoner!" Toonie yelled."WAAAAAH, NOT AGAIN!" Waluigi whined.Toonie ordered his two prisoners onto the couch, where they were to remain unless they wanted to die a very slow death by foam bullets. Toonie smiled to himself. He had captured the kitchen, living room and downstairs bathroom.Let's see Ness, Shulk and Zelda beat this, he thought to himself.In reality, Shulk was sitting with Zelda in the empty fountain near the edge of the mansion gardens, their backs propped up against the statue in the middle. His gun lay forgotten next to him."So yeah, that's how I ended up on this planet." Shulk concluded.Zelda nodded. "Those teletransporters are so useful.""They sure are!""Mmn. I got a kingdom to run and it's easier this way to pop back and forth to check up on things."Shulk looked up at the sky, which was beginning to take on an orangey-purple colour. "Do you ever wonder what life is like on all the other planets?""Yeah, I do." Zelda placed her hand down next to Shulk's. Shulk swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and spoke."I wonder if they have fighting tournaments like this one."Zelda shrugged. "Maybe. But I mostly wonder what the people are like. And how their cultures would be different to ours. I love learning about that sort of thing."Shulk brushed back a lock of hair. "I, uh, think your culture is pretty interesting." He smiled.Zelda smiled back. "Really? That's great! What do you find interesting about it?"Shulk gulped. He'd really only said that to make Zelda happy. He actually didn't know a thing about Hyrule. "Uh, the food.""Anything in particular?""Um, the cake?""You mean like the lemon cake? My grandmother made the best lemon cake in the whole world."Shulk nodded. "Yeah, that! I love me some lemon cake!" He grinned wider when she saw how pleased she was.Zelda had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It was pretty damn obvious that Shulk didn't know the first thing about Hyrule. Still though, she found it sort of flattering that he was trying so hard to please her.He really did look cute, smiling like that, with the sun illuminating his golden hair...Zelda shrieked as they were suddenly flooded by a torrent of water. Shulk stumbled out of the once dry fountain, the princesses gloved hand still firmly in his grasp. They practically face planted into the grass and wiped the water from their faces."Har har har har har har har har har!"It was Stormy. She had used her Force-induced hydrokinesis powers to bring the fountain to life. She now stood half obscured by a nearby hedge, practically dying of laughter.Zelda was furious. "Stormy! How could you?!""I'm sorry! I didn't mean to cockblock you guys..oh wait! Yes I did!"Shulk turned his head in disgust...and was promptly smacked in the face by a foam bullet.Toonie emerged from behind a tree. "You failed to keep your captured land secure. You're out."~*~Back in the infirmary, Robin had entered to grab some painkillers for the headache brought on by Stormy's saxophone playing, and ended up staying to watch Dark Pit. Rosalina had left to find Cosma and Doc just up and left to grab some dinner, leaving the tactician to babysit the angel.Robin knelt by the bedside. "How's your head feeling, buddy?"Dark Pit glared daggers at him. "Don't 'buddy' me. Especially after the shit you do with that bitch."Robin knew exactly who the 'bitch' was. He gulped, knowing the jig was up, he had been found out. "You don't know what you're talking about.""Yes, I do. Maybe Pit doesn't, but I do."The white-haired male sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. If I'd known about her mistreatment of you earlier, I would have said something. But when she hit you with her staff for having private thoughts...I just didn't know what to do. Ask her about it when she's still mad or talk to her about it when she's calmed down and at her most blunt?"Dark Pit shrugged. "You have a point."Robin knelt down even lower, so his face was level with Dark Pit's. "Also, quick question: how do you know about me and…""You two are really loud."Robin recalled particular memories and he developed an embarrassed smile. "Promise you won't tell anyone. Bibi would never forgive me.""Bandage my head and I'll think about it."Robin wound the bandages as best he could, considering he wasn't a medical professional. Doc is really irresponsible, he thought. Abandoning a patient for the sake of getting some food? What the hell?When Robin turned away to retrieve some medical tape, he heard a "what do you even see in her, anyway?" muffled by the pillow.~*~Stormy was on the move once more.Which was good, since Shulk and Zelda were on the verge of strangling her for what she did to them.She wandered around to the eastern side of the building. Peach was kneeling beside the flowerbed digging up all the weeds that had been choking up the tulips since Brawl ended.Stormy turned away. Flowers brought back the memory of the old lady screaming at her. Wonder how she feels about Lyn nicking her wallet…The teen continued on down a garden path that wound its way towards the garden sheds. One of said sheds had just been built since the shed next to it was old, rusted and just a safety hazard in general. Stormy approached it. It had yet to be torn down. People's names were scratched into the termite-eaten door. Snake, Pichu, Nana and Popo, Roy. She briefly wondered who these people were and how they were getting on in life now.She ran her hand along the wall of the newly built shed. It was wooden and smelled strongly of pine. The planks still had those little knots in them, probably to keep that rustic touch. Some of them were deep enough for a curious teenage girl to stick her thumbs in.The new shed was much taller than the other one. There was quite a gap between them but Stormy reckoned she could make it. Yes, a brainwave had hit her and she was reluctant to turn around and say, are you crazy?Using the knots in the wood as handholds, Stormy gently but quickly eased herself up the wall. She reached the top and surveyed the area. The shed wasn't that tall but standing atop it gave her a new perspective of her immediate surroundings.She was level with most trees. She could see over the top of the hedges and get a semi-clear view of the Assist House. She could almost see through the second floor windows of the mansion itself, though the distance obscured everything a little bit. She swore she could make out Amalia and Falco in one window and Bowser in another.Turning away from the mansion, Stormy focused on her goal: to jump from one shed roof to the other. Dumb in theory for more than one reason, but she craved the thrill it gave her.She stepped back to give her more space to move, then suddenly dashed forwards. At the edges, she thrust her body skywards. Her feet left the roof and prepared for landing. She saw the rusted roof rapidly approaching and squeezed her eyes shut.She clearly didn't think this whole thing through properly, otherwise she would have questioned whether the roof would support her weight.The sounds of metal scraping and twisting echoed throughout the garden.Peach, who was weeding nearby, was first on the scene, and to be met with the collapsed shed. By some comedic intervention, the door and door frame were still standing.Peach opened the door. Stormy was lying under a sheet of metal, with only her bare feet, now all scraped up, sticking out from underneath."Oh god!" Peach rushed forward and attempted to lift the sheet of metal off Stormy. "Stormy, what happened?!"Sonic came barreling around the corner. "What's all the noise…" He paused at the scene."Don't just stand there! Help me get this off her!"Sonic went round the other side and grabbed hold. "Okay, on the count of three."One…Two…"Three!"The two heaved and strained their arms. Finally, they moved the metal aside."Oh damn!" Sonic shouted at the sight of more metal. Beams, sheets, old light fittings were defiantly preventing them from reaching Stormy."Stormy!" Peach cried as she frantically threw aside small scrap after small scrap, "Can you hear me?"Suddenly, the metal pile rose up and out popped Stormy."How did you know it was her? She was like, completely covered!" Sonic called to Peach."Because no one else would be dumb enough to try this!""Oh," the hedgehog stole a glance at the new shed. "Wait, how'd you know she jumped on it?"Peach planted her hands on her hips. "It's a little obvious, don't you think?""Eurgh!" Stormy exclaimed, "And I thought this hunk of junk was gross on the outside!" She turned around and spat on the ground before climbing out of the wreckage with no fucks given about her bare feet.Sonic walked round to help her out when he realised what she spat on the ground.It was a bloody tooth."Hey, open your mouth!" He ordered. Stormy rolled her eyes but obliged."Oh damn," Sonic said."What? What is i…" Peach gasped when she saw what Sonic had seen. "Stormy! We need to get you to the doctor right away!"~*~Rosalina was still in a bad mood from having to deal with Cosma. How dare she disobey orders when someone was in need of medical attention!Rosalina was rarely ever mad, so everyone was surprised when she snapped at Bowser Junior during dinner time for an otherwise harmless Yo Mama joke. She took the plate of pizza from LOLSKUXX and stormed down to the infirmary, passing Robin on the way.Before entering the infirmary, she took a deep breath and composed herself before pushing open the door.Doc had returned earlier and now sat at his desk scoffing his pizza. Dark Pit lay in bed on his stomach. He appeared to be staring off in the distance.Rosalina approached him. He did not acknowledge her.As she knelt down to pat his shoulder, the door flew open. Peach hurried in carrying Stormy, while Sonic followed close behind."HELP!" Peach screamed.Doc sat up, spitting crumbs all over the previously spotless floor. "What now?""It's Stormy. She knocked a tooth out!" Sonic explained."And her feet! They're all scraped and bruised!" Peach cried."Can you calm the hell down and let me go?" Stormy asked, "You're squeezing too hard."Doc inspected the damage before moving to retrieve an ice pack. Once Stormy was seated and busy numbing her mouth on the ice pack, Doc leaned down to look at her feet. As he lifted her right foot to get a better view of what looked to be a particularly deep cut, he noticed that Stormy only had nine toes."Uh, Stormy?""Mmmn?""What happened to your toe?""Which one?"Doc let out an irritated sigh. "The middle toe on your right foot! What happened to it?!""Oh that toe. Yeah, I dunno.""What do you mean, you don't know?""Well," Stormy scrunched up her face in thought, "I just remember waking up one day and it was gone."Sonic raised a hand to his head. "You mean to say that you lost a toe, and you have no idea why it went missing?""That's exactly right!" Stormy nodded.Doc nearly face palmed but instead he went back to examining Stormy's foot."You have quite a deep cut here," he said, pointing to said cut, "so you're gonna need a plaster. But other than that and the occasional bruise and scrape, your feet are fine."Peach sighed. "Whew! What a relief! I'd thought she'd damaged something vital!""But what are we gonna do about her tooth?" Sonic asked."Donate it to charity." Stormy responded.~*~Once everyone had left to get ready for bed, Dark Pit changed into a hospital gown. It was flimsy and revealed a lot, but it was better than having only the bath towel.He crawled under the covers of his bed. Doc had given him instructions to sleep on his stomach to avoid putting pressure on his head before it was fully healed.The bedsheets scratched at his skin and smelled strongly of anaesthetics, but he had more space to move around, compared to his bunk bed. And, as an added bonus, he was the only one in the infirmary. No Luigis having nightmares, no ducks or dogs causing a commotion. Nothing but silence. At last, he could finish plotting the revenge plot against Palutena, as he kept getting distracted.Dark Pit closed his eyes and hummed to himself.This anaesthetic smell was starting to annoy him a little…maybe he could annoy Palutena with a similarly bothering scent? Or maybe he should expose her and Robin to the rest of the mansion? Nah, it wouldn't be fair to Robin. After all, he saw the truth."Hello there!"Dark Pit's eyes snapped back open and he gently craned his neck back to see who spoke.Oh, for the love of…Orion floated, shimmering in the air next to the bed. "Mama thought you'd be lonely, so she asked me to keep you company!""I'm NOT lonely here," Dark Pit was starting to get sick of those dratted Lumas, "so leave me the hell alone!"If Orion was disheartened, he showed no sign of it. "Oh well. Wanna hear this song I've been working on? It'll be great, I promise!""Don't make me come over there and strangle you!" Dark Pit growled through his teeth.But Orion refused to listen. "Tally ho, tally ho, tally tally tally ho, I spy land with my little eye…"It was a long night for the both of them.~*~As soon as Sonic's feet were out of his shoes, they were stuffed under the bed covers. Just in time too. Marth came waltzing through the door, still elated from winning the last battle of the day. He let out a yawn that more closely resembled the roar of a lion, then climbed the ladder to his bunk bed, above Sonic.In the other top bunk in the room, Pit sat with a book in his lap, turning the pages slowly and staring intently at each new page."Is that a good book, Pit?" Marth yawned.Pit shrugged. "I just like looking at the pictures. I can't actually read yet.""Why can't you read?" Little Mac asked from below.Again, the angel shrugged. "I just never learned."Marth sighed. "Well, find any interesting pictures?""Yeah! They're all of cake!" Pit smiled.Marth nodded. "Okay, well it's time to shut off the light now.Pit pouted. The prince shook his head in disapproval. "Don't give me that look, Pit. You can finish readi- I mean looking at the pictures tomorrow. But now we have to catch some Z's."Once the lights were shut off and the book put away, Pit was already snoring. Sonic rubbed his ears to make sure they weren't deceiving him."Geez, is he out cold already?""Apparently" came Little Mac's voice from the darkness."But do you find it odd," said Marth, "that Pittoo can read but Pit can't? And I seriously doubt Palutena would have taught him, when she clearly hates him."Sonic closed his eyes before responding. "Why not just ask him?""Can't be bothered," Marth gave one final yawn before saying "'Night Sonic.""Yeah, sleep while you can.""What's that supposed to mean?""Means shut up and stop talking about other people's business that doesn't concern you.""Since when do you care about that?""Since you started talking about it.""Shut up, man.""You first."~*~Meanwhile, in one of the other bedrooms…"That was very irresponsible of you, Stormy." Lucina said."Thanks. Coming from you, that's a real compliment."Lucina was unimpressed. "You're lucky you got away with so few injuries!""Oh, come off it, Luce," Samus said. "I think ol' Stormy here can take a hard landing. Like you said, she got away with so few injuries. She'll be right."Lucina turned to face her. "Why are you defending her? Ike and Marth told me that you used to be all no-nonsense and you certainly wouldn't have accepted this sort of behaviour! So why the sudden change?"Samus gave a feeble smile. "Times change, and so do people. It can't be helped."Palutena giggled from where she sat in her bunk.Lucina whipped round, anger present in her eyes. "Not you too!""Yo Samus," Stormy said, "wanna do some parkour tomorrow?""Sure!""Can I watch?" Palutena asked."Course you can! Hey Luce, what about you?"Lucina looked as if she would explode with frustration, but instead she hissed a "I'm sleeping in the common room!" before grabbing her pillow and marching out of the room."Send us a postcard!" Stormy called.

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"Oh no," Stormy said, "oh no no no… That will not do at all…"She and Little Mac were in a team battle with Mario and Peach on the Omega Boxing Ring stage and she had, upon noticing the giant screen in the background, insisted that the battle be paused. She now stood staring disappointedly up at the character taglines that appeared on the screen.Above Peach's picture was "Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom." Above Stormy's was "Hydrokinetic Jedi."Stormy shook her head. "Dumb. I'm gonna do something about that." She turned on her heel and jumped offstage, past the blast zone and walked towards the commentators box on the ground. As soon as she entered there were sounds of a struggle. Then someone was thrown out the window. He hit the ground with a thud, then got up and slowly limped away."Stormy!" Little Mac called impatiently, "what are you doing?""What is she up to?" Zelda said from where she stood inside the spectator platform. The spectator platform, as the name suggests, is a box-like structure for the spectators to sit and watch. It appeared to be suspended in the air in front of a stage to maximise viewing potential, and moved with the stage, if the stage moved at all. One wall was completely made of glass so everyone could get a decent view of the battles and there were seats lined up like those in a movie theatre.So everyone inside could see what Stormy was doing."Dunno. It's Stormy. I don’t know what she's doing. Or why." Link said."Oooh, look!" Peach said, pointing at the screen.Onscreen, the words changed from "Hydrokinetic Jedi" to "Walker of Stormy Skies.""Oh, she was just changing her tagline." Zelda said."But why though? What was wrong with her other one?" Link questioned.Zelda giggled. "Like you said: it's Stormy. We don't know why she does things."Stormy walked back to her starting position and signaled to unpause the battle.For Mario and Peach, the battle was a complete disaster. While Little Mac took care of Peach, Stormy was busy putting the beatdown on Mario in the air. When Mario finally got out of her juggling, he attempted to smack her down into the blast zone, but unfortunately Stormy had the same idea, and was a faster mover than Mario. She struck him with her foot, then recovered. Mario could only watch helplessly as Stormy flipped him off with both hands, an evil grin on her face, as he fell into the blast zone.Peach wasn't doing much better. She’d been KO'd once already and was down to her last stock. She'd tried to counter Little Mac's attacks with Toad, but he'd seen it coming and dodged them. She knew that once she got him into the air he was helpless, but he moved so fast she couldn't find an opening. It was starting to fluster her and it didn't help that she could see Mario getting pummelled by the new girl, and that everyone in the spectator podium was watching her every move.She took a chance and reached out and - success! - she grabbed hold of him. She threw him down and jumped on him butt first. This launched him into the air where she immediately jumped up and tried to up-air him. However, Little Mac saw it coming and countered it. Peach was sent flying straight into Stormy's waiting foot. She was pummeled into the blast zone. She was out of the game."Oh damn, that teamwork!" Link whistled.Stormy landed on the stage and she and Mac high-fived each other. "That's how we roll!" she exclaimed."We've got this match in the bag!" Little Mac added cheerfully.Doc Louis watched his young champion from the spectators platform, and tears began to spring from his eyes."Are you alright, sir?" He saw that Link and Zelda, the "big leagues", were staring at him with a little concern."Hm? Oh yes I'm fine. It's just that I'm so proud of Mac for making it into the biggest tournament in the country." Doc Louis' voice was as misty as his eyes.He really couldn't believe it yet. His very own Little Mac, in Super Smash Brothers. Out of billions of other candidates, he had been chosen. One day, he might make it among the big leagues, the veterans. Those who were repeatedly invited back to Smash because their talents and skills were too good to pass up.Mario was the only one left, with one stock left and had already taken nearly 60% damage. There was nowhere for him to run. Little Mac was on the ground and Stormy would be waiting for him in the air. His chances of winning were not just shot, but riddled with bullet holes. But he had to try.Peach would never forgive him if he didn't at least try. He approached Little Mac carefully. The boxer mirrored his movements until Mario threw out a fireball. It hit him and Mario rushed in for the grab. As he pelted Little Mac with attacks, he remembered Stormy. He threw his captive to the ground and tried to start a string of up-tilts. But the adrenaline and fear of losing so soon began affecting his nerves, which in turn affected his performance. The up-tilts came out slower that he would have liked and Little Mac escaped easily.When Mario dashed forwards, Stormy rushed at him, carrying a blue laser sword. She swung the laser sword at him. It collided with his gut and sent him flying offstage.Mario jumped once and prepared to do his recovery. In the last few milliseconds before doing his recovery, however, he saw Little Mac jump off the edge and perform a Jolt Haymaker. Headed straight for Mario and there was nothing he could do to get out of the way."The winner is… BLUE TEAM!" The pre-recorded Master Hand voice boomed through the loudspeakers.A cheer went up from the spectators. Doc Louis clapped so hard that his hand stung.Outside the teletransporter, Peach suddenly pushed Mario into a wall and began to shout."Mario!" She cried disappointedly, "how did we lose like that?""I'm-a asking myself that-a same question, honey," Mario responded, his voice shaking."Don't 'honey' me! How could you let us lose like that!""It's-a all my fault now, is-a it? I wasn't-a the one who-a got KO'd in the first-a thirty seconds-a!""But you were the last one on our team!""It-a was-a two on one! I'm not the only one at-a fault here! Your-a moves were all-a over the place! Absolutely no-a coordination whatsoever-a!""Oh don't just go and shift the blame!" Peach was crying now."But that's-a exactly what-a you're-a doing! Don't-a take your-a frustrations out on me-a just because you're-a upset we lost!"Giving an angry cry, Peach half stomped, half ran down the hallway, her hand covering her eyes to stop the constant stream of tears. Link and Zelda stood by watching this teary tirade and tutted.Mario turned. "What?"Link started. "You two… you two have problems.” "Yeah. You really need to sort it out. You can't go on like this." Zelda said."What are you-a talking about-a? We're just-a fine!""You are not!""We are-a!" Mario protested."No. You're not.” Link paused for a moment, but then continued talking as soon as Mario opened his mouth. “Every time something goes wrong you argue. Even if it's something insignificant like losing the very first team battle of the tournament. Remember Brawl? Pit and I fucked up so bad during the first team battle. But we didn't push each other and cry in each other's faces. No! We just went on our merry way and learned from the mistakes we made. And it's not just this one time, Mario. We all know you and Peach have been having problems for a while now. Zelda's right. You need to sort it out."In the cafeteria, Samus was nibbling on a ham sandwich while talking to Stormy."So, why'd you change your tagline? Your old one seemed perfectly fine to me.""It wasn't." Stormy shook her head. "I'm not a flippin' Jedi. I even asked that they don't put the word "Jedi" in my tagline."Samus nodded, a little intrigued as to what a Jedi was. But judging by Stormy's tone of voice, she decided not to ask."Okay, but why 'The Walker of Stormy Skies'?"Stormy blinked at her, as if she couldn't believe Samus would even ask something like that. "Say my name.""Stormy…?""Now say my last name.""Uh, Skywalker, isn't it?""Yup. Now say them both together.""Stormy Skywalk-oh I get it." Samus shook her head in disapproval. "Who the fuck thought it'd be a good idea to name you Stormy and not even consider your last name?""I know, right?” Stormy threw her hands up in frustration. “This is why I tell people it's short for Stormageddon." “Short for what?" "Gre gre ja! Gre gre ja!" Greninja shouted this as he suddenly burst into the cafeteria."What's he saying?" Stormy asked."He's saying "Hurricane Peach Alert! Hurricane Peach Alert!" Samus translated.As if to confirm this, the sound of a door slamming and angry stomping made its way to those in the cafeteria. Samus stood up on the table and clapped twice to get everyone's attention."Okay people, you know the drill. Stay calm and don't say anything to further piss her off!"Palutena turned around. "Oh gees, what exactly do I have to avoid saying?""It's easy, Lady Palutena! Just don't say anything at all!" Pit said."You seem awfully calm about this, Pit." The goddess stated."Well, it's not so bad once you get used to… oh no she's coming!"What entered next was a flurry of emotion so wild and intense it even left Bowser and Ganondorf (who were previously fighting over the last clean spoon) reeling.

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Amalia opened the door to the cafeteria and found herself practically ankle deep in used tissues. She then politely requested to know what was going on."ONE OF YOU FUCKERS BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED OR ELSE!" she demanded.Up one end, Peach was still bawling her eyes out, surrounded by the rest of the girls, who were doing their best to console her. Up the other end, Bowser popped out from underneath a particularly large pile of tissues."Uurg," he groaned, "Peach babe, you can tell Daddy Bowser all about that wretched Mario!"Zelda glared at him. "Now is not the time Bowser!""Yeah Dad, that's just gross!" Bowser Junior exclaimed from where he took cover behind the counter.Zelda turned back to Peach."Aw, you need cheering up. How about a Girls Night Out?"Peach stopped crying instantly. Her smile was brighter than a thousand suns.~*~In the gym, Mario was pounding the ever loving crap out of Sandbag while Link and Sonic stood by watching. They exchanged grim looks. "Peach problems?" Sonic asked."Yeah." Link said.Sonic shook his head. "Is it me, or does it seem to be getting worse?” He rubbed the back of his head. “But then again, it could just be stress from starting a new Smash tourney.""It's definitely getting worse, I can just feel it. But you're right, it might just be stress.” Link gave him a smile. “So let's de-stress him.” Then he called out, “Hey, Mario!"Mario spun around and yelled "what?""How about a Guys Night Out?" Link called.Mario jumped up suddenly with one fist in the air in his signature pose and shouted "Yes, Mama Mia!"~*~Six o'clock rolled around.In one minivan, the girls were organised and ready to go, having gotten special permission from Master Hand to leave without their buddies, as Master Hand too was sick of the relationship drama. So the girls all excitedly put on makeup and their favourite clothes, and gathered together to leave. Lucina would be driving, with Willow in the passenger seat. Rosalina, Peach and Zelda were squashed together in the middle seat, Samus and Stormy shared the back and Palutena was shoved into the boot.Sheik, Beebs and Jigglypuff had decided not to come.Lucina turned the keys in the ignition. "Which restaurant are we going to, Peach?""Château de Lumières." Peach responded.Willow whistled. "Wow, fancy!"The minivan pulled out of the driveway and headed into the city.~*~In another minivan, the boys were organised and ready to go.Mario would be driving, with Captain Falcon in the passenger seat. Shulk, Little Mac and Marth were squashed into the middle seat, Link and Pit shared the back and Sonic was shoved into the boot.Mario turned the keys into the ignition."Which restaurant are we going to, Mario?" Shulk asked."Château de Lumières." Mario responded.Link whistled. "Wow, fancy!"The minivan pulled out of the driveway and headed into the city.~*~Château de Lumières was quite big, with two floors and a ballroom available for rent. It sat on top of a hill and had a magnificent view of the city lights twinkling below like a sea of stars.The group of girls bustled in through the elegant front doors and headed for the uniformed receptionist standing nearby."Table for eight?" Peach asked.The receptionist nodded. "Right this way, please…" Her voice was posh but not snooty like most of the rich citizens of the city. She led them over to a table in the corner, the top of which was polished so bright it almost hurt to look at it. She collected a bunch of menus and handed them out.Zelda raised her eyebrows as she spotted a certain item on the menu. "They have brains here? Gross!""All fancy people eat brains." Stormy flawlessly demonstrated her knowledge of rich people.~*~Two minutes later the group of guys came bustling through the door."Table for-a eight?" Mario asked the receptionist.The receptionist looked a little annoyed. "Another large group, hmmm? Right this way, please." She led them to a table in another corner at the opposite end of the restaurant.After she handed out the menus Pit started licking his lips."Yum! I'm gonna order everything!""Even the brains?" Sonic said under his breath and he and Link snickered.Captain Falcon flagged down a passing waitress. "Bathroom?""Over there, sir."At the other end of the restaurant, Rosalina flagged down a passing waiter. "Bathroom?""Over there, ma'am."Rosalina and Captain Falcon ran into each other in the hallway leading to the bathroom. The shock on both their faces was quite comical, but this was a serious moment."What are you…""...doing here?!"Rosalina stood up straight. "It’s a Girl's Night Out.""But we're here on a Guy's Night Out! You need to leave!"The space guardian frowned. "Why do you insist we need to leave? Mario does not burst out crying or make a scene in public when he sees his girlfriend." she said sharply.The racer shrugged. "Yeah, but Mario gets all pissy and ruins it for the rest of us!""Do you seriously think we enjoy listening to Peach's wailing for hours on end? The only reason Master Hand let us go out without our buddies is because it meant he did not have to listen to Peach! If anyone needs to leave, it is you!""But I don't wanna!""Fine. Let's just stay out of each other's way. Now, please excuse me. I need to use the bathroom.""Whatev. But I was here first, so wait your turn. It's the least you could do, since you won't leave."Rosalina blushed with anger but didn't say anything.When they got back to their respective tables the waiters had just brought out the drinks."What took you so long?" Willow asked.Rosalina paused. "I, uh, just had to...poop." she said quietly."Oh I just had to take a dump." Captain Falcon said when he was asked the same question.~*~Lucina went to take a sip from her glass of champagne when she noticed that some of it had spilled down the side of her glass, so she stood up to fetch some napkins. When she came back, she sat down and took a big gulp of champagne.Almost immediately, she spat it out over the table and screamed from the pain that erupted over her taste buds."Oh my god! Why is it so hot?" she yelled before looking round the table.Palutena pointed at Stormy. "She did it.""Oh, fuck you." Stormy said back to the snitch."STORMY!" Lucina's face turned beet red. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!""It was a prank." Stormy replied. "It was meant to be a funny, harmless little prank..."Lucina narrowed her eyes. "What did you put in there? Show it to me!"Stormy looked around the table nervously before reaching under and pulling out a bottle of the last thing Lucina wanted to see.Carlen Island Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce. "You put THAT in my champagne?! Stormy, I swear to god…""It was only meant to be a drop! Like, just enough for you to go ‘hmm, that’s spicy,’ not spit it out and die. But then someone," she paused and stared suspiciously at Palutena, "bumped my arm and I spilt some and by then it was already too late."Lucina was about to respond until the waiter came up to the table. "Is everything all right, ladies?"Lucina managed a weak smile. "Yes, everything's fine, but may I please have another glass of champagne?"~*~"For the last time Pit, no, you can't have everything on the menu." Link said.Pit pouted. "Aw, but everything sounds so good!""I know, but you can have one entree, one main course and one dessert. We're not made of money." Link leaned back and took a sip from his beer.Marth shook his head. "I can't believe they let a sixteen year old order beer."Link stopped drinking and glanced at the bottle's label. "It's pretty light beer though. Plus, it tastes like really fancy lemonade."Pit perked up. "Lemonade? Can I have some? Please?""Sure." He passed the bottle over to the angel, who took a big gulp. The excited expression on his face changed to a sour one."Eurgh! This is gross! How can you drink this?"Shulk sat up suddenly."What's up?" Marth asked."Did you guys hear something?""Hear what?""It sounded like someone screaming." Shulk said."Eh, I don't think it's anything important."~*~Entrees and dinner passed with little incident.The night started unravelling quickly when dessert arrived.

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"We're not made of money," Marth said to Pit, who was annoyed that he couldn't have the dessert he wanted."Besides, quadruple-decker tiramisu has like, a ton of alcohol in it," Sonic added."They do have ice cream. You like ice cream, don't you?"Pit nodded glumly.Mario shook his head. "Oh, let-a him have it-a! After all, it is-a a Guys Night-a Out-a!" He shared an enthusiastic fist bump with a very grateful Pit. ~*~"Eating donuts just seems so…un-ladylike." Peach said."But donuts are delicious! You don't know what you're missing!" Stormy seemed appalled at the idea of someone not liking donuts."Donuts are fattening and they can clog your arteries," Lucina said, as if she knew anything about the risks of sugar consumption."And the triple chocolate cheesecake and mock cream you just ordered can't?" Samus said with a half smile on her face."Yeah Lucina. Mock cream is probably the most unhealthy thing on the menu." Stormy added."Mhm. If you eat enough mock cream your heart will give out instantly and you'll die." Palutena joined in.Lucina's face turned red with anger. "Yeah, well I'm not going to eat the whole can, am I?"The whole table was silent for a few seconds until Willow spoke. "Wait, why would a high-scale place like this even use mock cream anyway? It's cheap and awful and tastes like shit compared to real cream.""They probably don't even pasteurise their own milk," Palutena said in a condescending tone."I feel lied to, now," Peach said."Yeah thanks for bringing up this whole subject, Lucina," Stormy said.Lucina sputtered. "W-What? What do you mean I brought it up?" Her voice was shrill and hoarse with the injustice of the whole situation. How was this her fault?"You're the one who ordered it." Stormy stood up and stretched her legs. "Anyway, I have to go use the refresher - wait, I mean bathroom…”How dare she accuse her of this?!Lucina, in an abrupt moment of being unable to control her temper, suddenly lunged at Stormy and shoved her as hard as she could. Stormy stumbled backwards and bumped into a waiter carrying a silver platter with a dome lid. The waiter let out a yell of surprise and fell forwards. The dome lid landed on a diners head. The diner stumbled around in surprise, unaware of why he was suddenly unable to see before falling onto a table. The shrimp platter that was on the table was launched into the air. A piece of shrimp landed on the face of a waiter about to break open a bottle of champagne. When the shrimp fell in his eyes he screamed and, in a moment of fright, swung the champagne bottle around right as the cork popped out. The cork ricocheted off the walls in a zig-zag pattern towards the other end of the restaurant.~*~At the other end of the restaurant the waiter was about to present Pit with his quadruple-decker tiramisu. As Pit looked on in excitement and hunger, the cork whizzed by and struck the waiter's hand. His hand jerked and knocked the tiramisu into the angel's face.Pit sat there completely dumbfounded, his face and hair covered in biscuits, mock cream and absurd amounts of alcohol. It had happened so quickly that he couldn't even process it properly.What the hell had just happened?Then Sonic laughed, and no one could have predicted what was about to transpire.He didn't mean it as a "haha I'm guilty" sort of laugh. He just thought it was hilarious. But in Pit's confused mind, Sonic was guilty somehow so he acted accordingly.He grabbed a big handful of tiramisu and smacked it in Sonic's face.Sonic, without thinking, took his drink and threw it, glass and all, at his attacker.Pit saw it coming and dodged. The glass hit a middle aged lady dead on the side of her face. She screamed and fell to the floor as her husband jumped up. His face was flushed with anger. Sonic saw this and tried to explain himself.He ended up taking a beer bottle to the face.The man's child, a boy of about eight or nine, climbed onto the table and hollered "FOOD FIGHT!"Seconds later the entire restaurant descended into chaos.Food flew in all directions. People hurled, and were hit with, all sorts of food, including cakes, seafood, half-raw steaks, eclairs, salads, brains and mock cream. Even some of the waiters and waitresses got in on it and several chefs had run out screaming at everyone to stop wasting their work."STORMY!" Lucina could be heard above everyone else, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!""You're the one who pushed me!" Stormy replied, throwing a handful of mussels at some lady who was approaching her with a cherry cream pie in hand.Lucina let out a yell of frustration but a piece of tomato landed square in her mouth. "Ten points!" someone called.~*~"Huh," Link said as he dodged a meat pattie drenched in tomato chutney (not sauce, this place was far too fancy for plain old tomato sauce) "I could've sworn I heard Lucina yelling."Shulk shook his head. "Nah. Couldn't have been. The girls are all back at the mansion, I think.”Just then, a man dressed in a smart business suit stepped out of the kitchen. He was obviously the manager of the restaurant and boy, was he pissed at the people causing a ruckus.He stood up onto a table and produced a microphone. "All right, who was it that started this ungodly commotion?" he demanded.Two sides of the restaurant pointed in different directions, but both parties from the Smash Mansion were already long gone.~*~As the girls walked down the street still covered in food, Peach wore a strange expression on her face. Because of this, it was difficult to tell whether she had fun or was about to start crying."Well," Samus began, "that was interesting.""Indeed," Rosalina agreed. She wet her finger and began to rub at a stain on her dress. Even though she was covered in food, she was glad to be out of the restaurant, narrowing down their chances of running into the boys."Ooooh, that Stormy," Lucina clenched her fists in anger, "when I get my hands on her I'm gonna-""Hey," Palutena looked around, "where is Stormy?"“Is she not with us?” Samus whirled around, searching for her friend. Stormy was not there. Not within sight. She had gone. ~*~The boys dragged their feet along. Pit and Sonic were apologising to each other. Even though it wasn't his fault, Sonic still felt guilty about what happened to the tiramisu.Then he thought of a way to make it up to him."I know a place where we can grab some dessert," he said."Oh, really? Is this gonna be like that time you said you knew an awesome pizzeria but it ended up getting raided by the police because the owners were secretly running a drug ring?" Marth said."Wait, what?" Shulk asked."No, it's not like that, I promise. It's a Chinese restaurant and dessert bar. They've got so many desserts there! Seriously, it’s amazing!""I'd like to-a go," Mario said."Well, I'm down as well," Link added."We might as well. Dinner was a disaster," Little Mac said."It's decided then," Sonic started down a little side road. "It's right down here…"~*~Stormy just wanted to cause more mischief.It was partially because of impulse, but she was also driven by a part of her soul that wanted to see just how obnoxious she could be. That could be why she disobeyed her father. Or maybe she's so obnoxious because she disobeyed her father.Either way, she wanted to do something stupidly daring.There was a cop car pulled up next to another car, a civilian's car, on the side of the street. Probably pulled over for speeding. The cop, a slender man with dark skin, was standing by the window of the other car, talking sternly to whoever was inside.Stormy crept up to the cop car. The keys were still in the ignition. Awesome.Okay. Just one quick ride then she'll leave the car somewhere for the cops to find.If she found out what was to happen, she probably would have just left the car alone.She slid into the driver's seat and fired the ignition. The cop turned around, surprised, and a little bit angry when he discovered that it was some teenage girl stealing his ride.Stormy did a sharp U-turn and roared down the street, letting out a victorious whoop as she did so. The adrenaline rush gave her a feeling of invincibility. The fact that she had a chance of not getting caught was going to her head.She switched on the lights and sirens. Instantly, the cars ahead of her slowed down and let her pass. She soared down street after street until she came across the rest of the girls standing on the footpath. She honked the horn and waved.The whole group didn't even have to turn around to see who it was. They already knew, somehow, that it would be fourteen year old Stormy Skywalker behind the wheel.Peach and Rosalina would shake their heads.Samus would give that strange half-smile.Lucina would be pissing herself with anger.Stormy laughed at those thoughts.That juvenile sense of invincibility came to an abrupt end when she saw a balloon in the middle of the street, along with a kid trying to catch it, and swerved hard to avoid them. Before she knew it, the front of the cop car was halfway through the window of a Chinese restaurant. The diners inside were simply staring in shock. An old woman emerged from behind the front desk and began cursing at her in Chinese.Stormy also cursed, but at herself. Goddammit! She was in for it now! ~*~From inside the restaurant, Captain Falcon saw exactly who the idiot driving the cop car was. He was lucky that no one else did."Holy shit," Marth stated after watching the collision. He turned to face the others. "We should go. It probably won't be safe to stick around."Pit whined, as they had only just been served their long-awaited dessert, but now some cruel twist of fate had prevented them from eating it for a second time."Stop complaining Pit, we'll get ice cream on the way back," Captain Falcon hurriedly began to usher everyone out the back entrance.~*~Within minutes several ambulances and cop cars pulled up. One of the responding officers was the very pissed off cop whose car was involved in the accident. He marched over, flung the door open, grabbed Stormy's arm and yanked her outside."You! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you realise you could’ve killed someone?” He was incredulous, unable to comprehend exactly why someone would do something so horrendously dangerous. He was also incredibly angry at the sheer nerve of this delinquent. Stormy glanced down at the officer's name tag. "Well, er, Officer Boyle, you shouldn't have left your keys in the ignition then."Officer Boyle looked like he was genuinely about to slap her but then the girls showed up. Lucina's face had gone almost completely purple."OF ALL THE STUPID, FOOLHARDY THING TO DO!!" she screamed.Before long, all the girls were sitting with Stormy in the police station. Peach still wore that same strange look on her face. If she cried, the Stormy wouldn't blame her. She'd ruined her Girl's Night Out for the sake of satisfying that obnoxious part of her very being.
Zelda turned to Willow."Goodness! If I'd known the night would have turned out like this, I would've just stayed behind."However, if Zelda did indeed stay behind at the mansion, she would have wanted to have gone on the Girl's Night Out instead.

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"What do you mean the mansion got flooded?" Palutena asked incredulously.The girls had arrived home to find everything damp and dripping. Apparently someone (aka Greninja) wanted to turn the gym into a swimming pool but ended up flooding the entire ground floor of the mansion. Greninja was now in Master Hand's office, getting a stern talking to about the incident and every window and door was open to help speed up the drying process.Robin laughed nervously. "Yeah. Everything got pretty bad. But hey, why are you guys here so early? I thought you were going to dinner and a movie.""We were, but then we had to bail Stormy out of prison." Palutena said.Robin's eyes widened. "What? What did she do?""She stole a police car and crashed it into a Chinese restaurant," Samus explained, with a strained look on her face as if she was trying not to laugh out loud, especially since Lucina had only just now calmed down about the whole incident and she didn't want to set her off again."The first week of Super Smash Brothers and she's already got a criminal record!" Robin shook his head."I know! She's practically got one foot in the grave!" Zelda said."She's gonna get herself killed if she doesn't watch out," Lucina mumbled.Just then, the group of guys stumbled in through the front door, with half-melted ice cream cones in hand."You wouldn't believe the crazy night we just- hey why is everything all wet?" Sonic asked."Greninja tried to turn the gym into a swimming pool and ended up flooding the whole ground floor," Robin explained."Where have you guys been?" Zelda asked."Oh man! Tonight was crazy!" Shulk stated, "we went to Chateau de Lumiéres and Pit and Sonic started this epic food fight, and then we went to this Chinese dessert bar and someone crashed a police car through the front of it!" Shulk then noticed the shocked expressions on the girls faces. "Uh, what's wrong?"There was a long pause."Yeah, all of that happened to us, too." Samus said.A slow expression of understanding spread over their faces. It was quiet except for Sonic's laughing, which made him sound a lot like a donkey of sorts. "Haw haw haw! You wanted to spend a night away from Peach but she was there the whole time! Haw haw haw!""Mario!" Peach pushed her way to the front of the group, "how could you choose Chateau de Lumiéres when you knew how much I love it? Is this some kind of mockery of me?""For fuck's sake, not this shit again," Samus said, but everyone ignored her.Mario was just as agitated. "How was-a I supposed to-a know you would-a be there-a?! I didn't-a even know you were-a going out-a!""Stop making this all about you!" Peach was hysterical."I never-a said this was-a all about me-a!" Mario's face had twisted into something hideous.Peach's response was a full open-palm slap across the face.Mario lashed out with his foot and struck her in the shin.Both parties simply watched in horror as the two former lovers suddenly went from pointless arguing to full on violence. Though they argued frequently, they had never gotten physical with one another before tonight night. But they fought as if attacking their partner came naturally to them. She would take him by the throat and he would grab a handful of her hair. Even Samus and Link, who normally would be the ones to break up fights, just stood there gaping.Evidently the sound somehow managed to reach the bedrooms on the third floor - or perhaps he was already nearby - because Dark Pit suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs leading to the elevators, with dark rings under his eyes and his head still wrapped in a bandage, and looking even more pissed off than ever.As soon as he saw the cause of the noise that had interrupted his precious sleep, he marched down the stairs and towards the quarrelling couple. In the blink of an eye he grabbed them both by the scruff of their neck and, with all his strength, banged their heads together. They stopped instantly."For fuck's sake, just shut the hell up! You two clearly don't even like each other, so why the hell are you still together?!" the angel roared. He turned to Peach. "You! When will you realise that all the stupid shit you argue about isn't even worth the breath you waste on it? Stop being so self-centred and realise that you're not the only one with problems, so stop whinging about every little thing that goes wrong and then try and pin it on Mario!" He faced the plumber. "And you! You say that Peach is unreasonable and doesn't care about you, so why didn't you leave her? Why didn't you just go and date that Pauline person you fucked that one time? It worries me that you're seen as the world's 'it' couple but you're constantly at each other's throats! And it worries me even more that some angel who had never dated anyone in his life knows more about this kind of crap than you do!" Dark Pit took a breath and continued in a much quieter voice. "Now, for god's sake, shut up and let the rest of us sleep. And if you want to keep on fighting, don't expect the rest of us to care." And with that, Dark Pit walked off back to bed."...I'm just gonna go…" Robin said, backing away slowly."Yes. Come on, Peach. It's been a long day and we should get some rest. Zelda said, taking a stunned-into-silence Peach by the arm and leading her away."Yep. Let's go, Mario," Link said, doing the same.Quickly, one by one, the crowd dispersed.Robin entered his bedroom (quietly, as Beebs and Duck Hunt were asleep) and realised that Dark Pit wasn't in the room. In the dim hallway light, he could see that the bedsheets were rumpled and thrown back as if in a rage, but the angel himself wasn't between them. Robin thought it was a little odd, considering how Dark Pit had to sleep in the infirmary for the past night or two and had been eager to use his own bed, but he shrugged it off and chalked it up to him finding a quieter place to snooze.Robin wasn't wrong in that regard.~*~Dark Pit exited the teletransporter and staggered tiredly towards the big wooden doors. They opened up for him and Artemis was there. He fell forwards into her arms and breathed into the baby blue ribbons that covered her shoulders."I'm tired. So, so tired," he mumbled, "I just want a quiet place to sleep."Artemis nodded. "Come on then, let's go to one of the guest bedrooms," she took his hand and floated towards the stairs, leading him along.Back at the mansion, all was quiet. For now...

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Whatever good the trips last night had done, their effects had been all but unraveled by the next morning.Peach woke up, hurt and angry at Mario's actions.Mario woke up, angry and hurt by Peach's actions.Everyone else woke up, hoping that there wouldn't be another overly dramatic outburst for a little while.Dark Pit woke up in a large poster bed that smelled of lavender and moon dust, feeling refreshed after a good, peaceful night's sleep in Artemis's temple.Over breakfast, the formerly "It" couple of the Mushroom Kingdom glared stormily at each other from different sides of the room. Those around them tried to diffuse the situation by changing the subject to various things such as the weather, the garden, and what was on the menu for dinner that night; crowd-pleaser conversation topics that never failed to bore everyone.All in all though, there hadn't been any unpleasant confrontations and the rest of the smashers continued to hold their breath.If things were this bad here, then imagine what it must have been like in the privacy of the Mushroom Kingdom?Yes, Mario and Luigi had been taking up residence with Peach and Daisy (and most recently, Rosalina) in the castle for many years now. Their home life seemed blissfully happy until recently, when it began to deteriorate. The peace was shattered by Mario and Peach's newfound hatred of one another, and Luigi, Daisy and Rosalina were witnesses to it. Even the Toads knew something was up.If things kept escalating, then the biggest threat to the Kingdom wouldn't be yet another Bowser attack.~*~"Care for a spot of tea, Monsieur McCloud?" Stormy asked in the fakest posh accent she could manage."Of course, Madame Skywalker," Fox responded, playing along. "Madame Aran?""No thank you. These buns are absolutely divine, you must try them! Monsieur Lombardi, do take one.""Thank you."The four of them were in the garden, having scored a pot of tea and a plate of buns and biscuits from the kitchen. Peach must have baked them several days ago, yet they still tasted fresh.Stormy was the first to crack and she broke out into a fit of giggles. "What the hell are we doing?""I don't know. You started it," Fox was smiling.Samus leaned back in her chair. "Ah, this is probably my favourite thing about Smash. Not kicking everyone's asses, but just spending time with my friends.""You have friends?" Falco asked jokingly before receiving a kick to the shins."Of course I do, you dumb shit."Just then, Pit and Link passed by with an armload of hot dogs and bottles of spray cheese."What the hell are you doing with all that cheese?" Samus asked."Cheesy hot dogs," Link responded, "It was his idea!" He pointed at Pit."But spray cheese on hot dogs is delicious!" Pit protested, "I could eat it all day if I could!"Just then, Stormy realised she'd solved the mystery from Chapter 2 that everyone had probably forgotten by now.

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"Now I remember!" Stormy shouted. Everyone turned to look at her, startled by her yelling."Now I remember where I saw you before!" Stormy pointed an accusing finger at Pit. He simply stared back, confused."December 23rd, last year. I went to the Shoberg Street gas station in Half Moon to get some Christmas snacks because they have the best selection. And some angel - you! - was chugging all the spray cheese!""Oh right!" Pit laughed, "I forgot about that! It was funny!""No it wasn't! You left us decent folk without spray cheese. At Christmas time, no less!""Well, congratulations Detective Skywalker. Mystery solved," Falco said sarcastically.Stormy shot him a murderous glare before turning back to Pit. "Anyway, I want payment. Hand it over."Pit clutched the cans of spray cheese to his chest. "No!"Let's just say it was another two days before Palutena discovered Pit had been hiding a black eye under a mountain of makeup he borrowed from Zelda.~*~Dark Pit scoured the library shelves, searching for inspiration. Yes, he was still invested in his prank scheme. It may have happened ages ago, but that doesn't mean Dark Pit was going to let it go.After all, that wasn't the first time Palutena had been a complete and utter bitch to him.Palutena has had this coming for a long time now. Dark Pit was going to make sure that his revenge would be something that she would never forget, not for the rest of her life. And she'll remember that it was because she mistreated him. She brought this upon herself.It was all her fault.She had no one but herself to blame.~*~Two days later Peach had cried through the rest of her makeup. She cried silently as she asked her roommate Zelda if she could borrow hers."Sorry Peach, but Pit took the last of it."This made Peach more upset. What in the world would Pit need with Zelda's makeup?~*~"Hey!" Toonie shouted at Ganondorf. "Fight me! One-on-one, tennis courts, now!" He puffed out his chest.Ganondorf chuckled, and dust fell from the ceiling. "You're no match for me, little man."Toonie scowled and puffed his chest out even further. Ganon rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine. But I'm just sayin', I'm not goin' easy on you."~*~Stormy and Little Mac were sitting in his room playing Go Fish when Pit burst into the room, followed by Marth and Sonic. Pit wasn't wearing his undershirt, because he was holding it up in a squirming bundle. He was shouting. He ran into the bathroom, Marth and Sonic following suit. The door shut behind them.For a while, there was nothing except for the sounds of hushed whispering and water splashing. Then the door creaked open and they all emerged, smiling."I caught a fish!" Pit exclaimed."How? I didn't know we had any fishing equipment," Little Mac said. "Where'd you go?""We went down to Shadsie Creek," Marth explained, "it's at the end of the gardens, by the walkway. And Pit used his undershirt."Stormy scrunched up her face in confusion. "How do you use a shirt to catch a fish?""I used it like a net," Pit used his hands to demonstrate."Anyway, we put it in the toilet," Sonic said, "and we emptied our drink bottles in there so it has a bit more water to splash around in. Anyway, I'm getting a snack.""But!" Stormy said as the trio dashed out into the hallway, "why didn't you just put it in the bathtub?!"~*~Ganon stomped down the hallway. Everything shook violently with each stomp."What's gotten you in a mood?" Palutena said in a very unsympathetic way as he passed by."Some heartless bastard has taken the tennis rackets! I was gonna whoop Toonie's ass with them!"~*~That night an announcement about the theft came over the PA system as everyone was hunched over bowls of chicken noodle soup."Sometime today, an unknown person broke into the sports shed and stole the tennis rackets," Master Hand explained, "if you have any information on who it could be, please see me in my office. Thank you." And the speaker went silent.There was an immediate buzz of interest."Wait, was it only the tennis rackets that were missing?" Wilson asked. Ganon nodded glumly."Who the fuck steals only tennis rackets?" Samus said. "The fucking pogo sticks are worth more, and we've only got like, two of them.""We have pogo sticks?" Stormy asked, intrigued."Yeah, but we're banned from using them.""Why?"Before Samus could answer, a horrifying eye-watering odour filled the cafeteria."Holy fuck Wario, did you fart again?""Actually no, that was me," Lemmy said, giggling with embarrassment. By the time he had finished speaking everyone was already filing through the door in order to escape the stench. Lemmy sighed sadly. He was never gonna get popular with the fandom like this!~*~Later, Marth, Lucina, Palutena, Pit, Sonic, Samus, Little Mac and Stormy were in the boy's room playing Trivial Pursuit."This game is fucking retarded!" Sonic said angrily."That's because you're retarded," Samus fired back."No I'm not!""You haven't even gotten one question right so far." Marth pointed out. Sonic stuck his tongue out at him."Can we stop for a minute? I need to use the bathroom." Lucina stood up and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Seconds later, an ear-piercing scream filled the air.Lucina flung the door back open and marched over to Marth, who had a guilty smile on his face."Marth?" Lucina asked quietly."Yes Lucina?""Would you care to explain why THERE IS A FISH IN YOUR TOILET?!"

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"Look, it's just… Pit was so excited and we thought he'd just keep it for a few hours then toss it back, but then he named it and, we just couldn't bring ourselves to ask him to get rid of it." Marth explained to Master Hand. He and Lucina and Pit were standing before his desk. Marth had responded to Lucina's question with a stupid joke that had enraged her even more, to the point where she'd gotten Master Hand involved."I just wanted a pet," Pit said sadly, his head bowed.Master Hand nodded a finger understandably. "I know, but you can't keep a wild fish in the mansion, Pit. It belongs in its natural habitat."Pit sniffed and wiped his nose."Tomorrow you're going to take the fish back and release it."Pit bowed his head further and sniffed again, louder this time.Master Hand motioned towards the door. "Now, go to bed. All of you."The three of them left.Marth patted Pit on the back and shot a glare at Lucina, which she ignored.~*~The next morning, Pit, Palutena, Marth, Sonic and a few others made their way down to the creek. Pit was holding a bright red bucket with his fish in it.When they reached the creek, Pit walked up to the edge of the water and stopped. He knelt down."I'm sorry I wasn't allowed to keep you. But, I'll set you free so that you can go back and live with all of your fishy friends…" Pit said sadly.During the eulogy Sonic felt the familiar sensation of a full bladder. He desperately needed to go, but there was no way he was going to piss in the woods like a common animal. Or the creek. ."Goodbye, Mr Splashy Pants," Pit choked out."Goodbye, Mr Splashy Pants," the small crowd echoed.Pit upturned the bucket and the fish slid out and swam off, free at last. Pit stood up and sobbed, and Palutena wrapped an arm around him comfortingly.The crowd began to disperse then, and Pit caught sight of Dark Pit heading with them."Pittoo?" he called out.He turned. "Oh. Hi.""What are you doing here?"Dark Pit rubbed the back of his neck. "I...just came to, uh, pay my respects."Pit threw his arms around him. "Thank you."For once Dark Pit didn't shove him off.~*~Sonic's pace began to quicken as he approached the mansion. He REALLY needed to go!He threw open the back door and dashed inside. He sprinted down the hallway, around the corner, shoved open the men's bathroom door, and took the only one of the two cubicles that was still free.There, he then proceeded to piss in an unbroken stream for twenty seconds, sighing with relief all the while."That was a lot," came a voice from the other cubicle.Sonic nearly shat himself. Not because the voice broke the unwritten rule of not speaking to others doing their business, but because it was a girl's voice. In the men's bathroom. Moreover, he recognized the voice."Ashley? What the hell are you doing in the men's toilets, for fucks sake?""Phosphora and Ghirahim were cooking drugs in the bathroom at the Assist House, and when I came into the girls toilets next to these, there were a couple of Miis making out in there, so I just came in here instead."Sonic just shook his head and sighed.~*~In the cafeteria, Zelda was using her laptop, which had been a Christmas gift from Link."I just love this thing!" she exclaimed to Peach, who was sitting next to her. "I can finally keep up to date with current events and whatnot rather than wait for the Castle Town event board to be updated!" Zelda squealed and accessed a news site. "Now, what's going on in Crescent Moon? There's a new plant nursery being opened, a Gorillaz concert, a farmer's market-""Did you just say Gorillaz?!" Samus shouted around a mouthful of oatmeal, from seven tables away."Yes, I did," Zelda turned back to her laptop and typed something in, "they're- whaaa!" She shrieked as Samus suddenly appeared behind her and snatched the laptop."Why would you wanna go see some gorillas," Captain Falcon began, "when we have our very own gorillas right here!" He gave Donkey Kong a hearty slap on the back.Samus pulled a face. "No, Gorillaz. They're like, the greatest band EVER!" She shifted her gaze back to the laptop. "OMG! They're playing in Crescent Moon THIS AFTERNOON! All the normal tickets are sold out, but they've still got VIPs left. EEE! I must go!""Wow, I never thought you'd be into Gorillaz, Samus," Link commented."Well, I am! Hey, ask me who my favourite band member is!"Link sighed, but complied. "Who's your favourite band member, Samus?""It's Noodle!"Captain Falcon spat out a laugh. "Noodle? This fella's name is Noodle?"Samus glared at him. "Noodle's a girl, and yes, that is her name!" She was bouncing on her heels, practically hyperventilating."I'm gonna go ask Master Hand if I can go!" With that, she ran out the cafeteria doors."But you'd need to bring Sonic with you! You remember the rules!" Link called out after her.~*~Speaking of Sonic, he'd just discovered that the lock on the door was stuck."Son of a bitch," he swore under his breath as he furiously jiggled the lock around, to no avail."What's wrong?" Ashley asked."Lock's stuck," he said."Just crawl out underneath, then."Sonic got to his knees. Through the gap in the door he could see Ashley's feet as she waited expectantly on the other side.If he thought it through properly, he would have realised he had a better chance of making it out if he got on top of the toilet and climbed out instead.Sonic lay on his belly and shuffled commando-style under the door before he came to a sudden halt. He scrabbled forwards, which did nothing. Ashley looked down at him."It's your quills. They don't quite fit."Sonic slammed his open palm against the floor. "Alright, I'll try going backwards." But he couldn't go backwards, either. He was properly wedged in.The hedgehog stared at Ashley's lower legs (the only body part he could see as he couldn't move his head up properly) with pleading eyes. "Please help me!""All right," Ashley whipped out her wand and pointed it at him. She uttered some incomprehensible magic spell and Sonic found himself not under the door, but in the door. In the middle of the door.Sonic opened his mouth to complain, but instead he screamed like a little bitch.~*~The screaming could be heard all the way from the observatory, where the Lumas were gathered, discussing the flaws and limits of Operation Luma Stampede. However, it was ignored. There were more important topics at hand."This is ridiculous, Orion! We can't keep going out like this every night!" Blossom, a red Luma, shouted."We should have been having discussions like this before we agreed to execute this stupid plan!" Cosma said."Yeah!" The other Lumas agreed, "there's no way we can stop all the criminals in the world. We were stupid to listen to you…" The voices trailed off as Orion, ignoring the complaints, flicked a nearby radio on and strange, primal music filled the observatory. The Lumas stopped talking completely and they just floated there, motionless."Good. That's better. You've all been bad Lumas," Orion said, his voice suddenly dropping an octave."We've been bad Lumas," the Lumas parroted back in a dull drone."You need to learn to obey your master.""We need to learn to obey our master."Orion continued talking but stopped when he heard the familiar delicate clicking of Mama's heels echoing up the spiral staircase leading to the observatory. He switched off the music and the Lumas snapped out of their trance, blinking in confusion."Good morning, lovelies!" Rosalina reached the top of the staircase, "what are you all doing up here?"She received only disorientated mumbling in response."Are you all right?""Yes, Mama!" Orion said, "they're just all tired. We stayed up too late last night."Rosalina shook her head disapprovingly. "Oh, honeys. You know you're not allowed to do that." She produced a paper bag and tipped the colourful contents on to the ground. "But anyway, it's time for breakfast!"That got the Lumas responding quicker, as they all milled around the pile of Star Bits.As Orion ate, a faint smile formed on his face.It worked.Those two pages on hypnotism in that one ratty old book may have seemed like bogus to anyone else, but he had faith in their words. And sure enough, it worked.Orion was also glad that the other Lumas were stupid enough to go along willingly when he asked if he could hypnotise them as a cool trick, otherwise how else could he have convinced them to do something as dangerous as Operation Luma Stampede?~*~Samus re-entered the cafeteria, stomping her feet and sulking like a stroppy teenager."Let me guess - he said no?" Link said.Samus scowled even harder, if that was possible. "He also said that he wasn't wasting money on something I can just watch on TV. It's not fair!"~*~A new week was here, which meant another day spent doing the Young Ones programme. This is so dumb, Zelda thought. If it wasn't for Peach and her intolerance of kids, I could be training or reading. Damn it, Peach! Why did you have to go and start this whole mess?When everyone was assembled and gathered in the minivan, Chrom turned around to face everyone. "Alright everyone, this week, we're going shopping!""Yay!" All the kids cheered."Grocery shopping!""Boooo!""Now come on," Chrom frowned, "the whole point of this programme is to do meaningful and productive activities. Okay, the mall was fun, but now we have to be serious.""You might actually be less fun than Lucina," Stormy said from where she'd been unceremoniously shoved into the boot again."Don't talk about my daughter like that!""Everyone please," Lyn threw up her hands. "If you all behave today, I don't see why we can't get a treat.""A...treat?" Ness asked."What kind of treat?" Toonie asked suspiciously."Something small. Like a chocolate bar or some gumdrops or what have you."Toonie nodded in approval as Chrom drove into the city.~*~Ten minutes of navigating around countless side streets and being stuck in traffic later, they arrived at the supermarket.When everyone lined up outside, Chrom sorted them into groups."Those over the age of fifteen go with Lyn, and the rest, come with me." He handed a shopping list to Lyn and off she went, followed by Link, Zelda, Pit, Shulk and Little Mac.That left Chrom to wrangle Stormy, Ness, Toonie and Dark Pit into behaving. They grabbed a large trolley and entered the fruits and vegetables section."Okay!" Chrom clapped his hands together, "Ness, you get apples and bananas, Toonie, carrots and lettuce, Stormy, garlic and onions and Dark Pit, coriander and mint, please." he ordered.They scattered into different directions, and things went wrong almost immediately."That's not lettuce, Toonie!" Ness shouted as he tried to fill a small reusable bag with apples at the same time."Then what is it?""It's cabbage!""Oh, whatever, they won't notice. It's not like anyone eats it, anyway." Toonie grabbed two heads of cabbage and put them in the trolley. Luckily Chrom didn't notice because he was trying to figure out whether he should get several punnets of strawberries or fill up his own bag.Ness knocked an apple, which sent an entire avalanche of Red Delicious cascading and rolling across the floor. He stood there in shock as passersby helped to pick them all back up again.~*~Dark Pit went over to the herb section only to find a complete and utter lack of both coriander and mint. Fucking. Brilliant.~*~Toonie, seeing the mess Ness had made of the apples, decided to help out by getting the bananas for him. As he chose a bunch an idea for a funny joke formed in his head.He picked a particularly large, thick banana and held it over his crotch. He then proceeded to thrust his crotch at any shopper who walked past, who gave him looks of disgust. Ness noticed this behaviour too, and was more than a little weirded out."Chrooom, Toonie's humping the bananas!" he hollered.The shout caught the attention of every shopper in the vicinity, including Chrom, who immediately wheeled the trolley over."For God's sake Toonie, what's the matter with you?" He snatched the bananas and put them in the trolley before picking up Toonie and setting him down in the kid's seat."They don't have coriander or mint." Dark Pit said, coming up from behind.Chrom groaned. What next?"Hey, Chrom?" Stormy asked nervously, carrying a bag of onions."What?""I, um, I forgot what garlic looks like," she smiled nervously.Things arguably got worse in the dairy section. Ness and Toonie were sent to get a bottle of cream when Toonie had another stupid brainwave.He grabbed his pocket knife and a bottle of cream, waited until Chrom was distracted by Stormy asking him a question, then stuck the blade into the bottle cap. He lowered the bottle over his pants and when he squeezed it, the cream inside came squirting out in a thin stream through the hole."Hey, look Ness! I'm creaming my pants!" Toonie cackled at his own joke while squeezing the cream into the floor, then onto Ness's leg. Ness squealed and leaped back. Toonie then aimed the bottle in an arc overhead and spun around in a circle. Many people ducked to avoid getting squirted (heh) and Stormy was bent over, clutching her stomach and laughing uncontrollably.Chrom, however, was not impressed. Even less so when he took a stream of cream to the eye.For Chrom's group, shopping ended early when they were escorted out by a security guard with a shirt covered in cream.~*~When Lyn met them outside half an hour later with her group and a full trolley in tow, she was smiling."What?" Chrom demanded angrily."Nothing," Lyn shook her head, but she was still smiling.Chrom pointed in her face. "Next week, you're taking them."When they got home, Master Hand was busy punishing Bowser for breaking a window in the front hall by making him repair it. When he finished his lecture on being more careful, he turned to the group and said, "well, how'd it go?"Chrom's response was to burst into tears.Stormy shook her head. "It really is the saddest thing ever, watching a grown man cry."~*~Samus was in a crabby mood. Since it was the weekend, there were no battles today. She really needed to punch something, and Sandbag just didn't quite cut it. She wanted something more fleshy. Preferably Master Hand. He deserved it. How could he not let her go see her favourite band? The news website said they'd only be in Crescent Moon until tomorrow, and their next concert would be in Full Moon, but that was in the next state over, and there was no way Master Hand would let her go. Grr! It's so unfair!It was late afternoon. Nearly dinner time. The concert would most certainly be over by now.Samus decided she'd go for a walk to calm herself. She'd take the walkway that ran behind the mansion (with a chain link fence around part of the way to prevent deranged fans from trying to sneak into the mansion gardens) and led into the city. She could do with one right now, give her a chance to cool down.Samus decided not to bother trying to convince Sonic to go with her, as per the Buddy rules, but maybe Stormy would like to come along.She headed to the front door while looking for Stormy. Bowser was there, repairing the window he broke while chasing Ganondorf around. His big hands were seriously hindering him, and twice he nearly dropped the pane of glass. Each time it happened, he swore under his breath.The smell of butter chicken, basmati rice and chocolate self-saucing pudding wafted over from the main kitchen and the cafeteria. Yum. Samus felt her stomach rumble. Or, maybe, she'd wait till after dinner to have her walk. Daylight savings meant she'd still have enough light to see, plus she knew she'd find Stormy in the cafeteria because right now, she was nowhere to be found.Samus turned to leave and heard the front doors opening behind her."Bloody hell, these doors are heavy!" A vaguely familiar voice said."Nah, it's 'cause you have no muscle, Dee." There was another familiar voice!"I can't believe it!" This time, it was a woman's voice, with a slight Japanese accent."Can't believe what?""That I'm in the SMASH MANSION! This is a dream come true!"Suddenly, Samus recognised the voices with a jolt. She turned around to see a Japanese woman, about her age, with choppy black hair and wearing black high-waisted shorts and a leather jacket. She stared at Samus and Samus stared back, because she couldn't believe who she was seeing.It was Noodle, the guitarist from Gorillaz.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After thirty seconds of silence, Noodle was the first to react.She squealed at an inhuman pitch and ran forwards. Samus did the same.They met in the middle and practically threw themselves into a hug. Their combined fangirl shrieks were enough to completely shatter the window that Bowser had just fixed. Bowser dropped to his knees and began to sob loudly. His despair was lost amidst the squealing and shouts of "OH MY GOD!" Finally, they pulled away from each other.Noodle was grinning wildly. "OHMYGODICAN'TBELIEVEIT'SYOUYOU'REMYFAVOURITEFIGHTERINALLOFSMASH!""ANDICAN'TBELIEVEIT'SYOUEITHERYOU'REMYFAVOURITEMUSICIANOFALLTIME!" Samus also began shout, slurring her words together.Suddenly, the grille leading to the ventilation shaft in the ceiling above them shifted and moved away. Stormy then descended, hanging upside-down on a rope made of tied-together bedsheets."Geezus, what's with all the yelling, what's going on…" She didn't quite finish her sentence as Master Hand appeared."Yes, what is going on here?" the gloved hand asked."We were heading out when our tour bus broke down just outside your gate. We were wondering if we could stay the night and call a garage in the morning'." Russel explained.Master Hand nodded. "I don't see why not. I'll have the Miis prepare the guest bedrooms. And it's dinner time and you're welcome to help yourselves. Please, make yourselves at home." Then, he turned to face Stormy. He cleared his throat. "Stormy, what were you doing in the ventilation shafts?""Hey, you have your hobbies and I have mine!" Stormy said defensively.Just then, the gong for dinner rang."Oh, good! Food!" Stormy dropped to the floor and broke into a sprint in the direction of the cafeteria."Food?" The front door was pushed open again and Ace entered the mansion. He peered up at the knotted bedsheets descending from the vents. "...Did someone attempt a prison escape?"Russel just shrugged in response.Samus grabbed Noodle's arm and dragged her towards the cafeteria, still giggling excitedly. Russel and Ace followed, Ace still looking around at the mix-and-match decor in the hallway. Behind them, Bowser was still bawling his eyes out.~*~Marth licked his lips as RedQueen, a Mii who worked in the kitchens, spooned a big ladleful of butter chicken onto the plate on his tray. He'd worked up one hell of an appetite in the gym today and couldn't wait to dig in.Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Shulk."Marth! I need your help! It's Sonic! He's in one of the bathrooms!" Shulk sounded out of breath."What's going on?""Sonic got stuck in the bathroom door and Ashley tried to use magic to help him but it's all gone horribly wrong and I just need someone to help us!"Marth sighed and handed his tray to RedQueen. "Could you please keep this warm for me until I come back?"RedQueen nodded, her orange fringe bouncing."Alright," Marth said, "I'm sure we can handle this…"~*~Once Russel had collected his fair share of butter chicken, naan and apple juice, he spied a place to sit: next to some kids. At the other end of the table, there was a man with ghost-white skin and a skin-tight outfit. He was reading a newspaper and Russel noticed that he only had a big glass of juice and a minuscule amount of curry and naan on his tray.As Russel sat down, the low-quality metal seat bowed precariously under his weight. He ignored the giggling from the kids and began to eat.The food was good. The curry was just the right amount of spicy, the naan was soft yet durable enough to scoop with, the apple juice was homemade, but without pulp, and just sweet enough.He ate until one of the kids, a little blonde boy with a green hat that was almost too big for him, asked him a question."Do you wanna hear a joke?"The boy had a suspiciously happy grin on his face. Russel didn't quite trust it but he still replied anyway."Sure.""Okay," the boy said, his grin growing wider. "What begins with F and ends with UCK?"Russel choked on his juice. "What did you say?!" Another kid, one with black hair and a red cap, cried out "Toonie!" and the pale man snickered without looking up from his newspaper.The blonde kid kept giggling. "C'mon. Answer the question."Russel only managed to sputter out "Wh-what the jus- what?!""FIRETRUCK!" The kid shouted. "What did you think it was?"Russel stared at him, dumbfounded. And a little annoyed.~*~Ace had become so engrossed in looking around this place that he missed the cafeteria entirely and was now meandering aimlessly about the mansion. He'd actually taken off his prized sunglasses for more than ten seconds at a time, just so he could get a better look at everything.This mansion was home to more than fifty people, at least, and everything was so out of place, yet it somehow all worked together. That stain on the wall by the shelf. The almost threadbare carpet and the few actual pieces of art hanging on the walls. This place had been thoroughly loved and lived in. It faintly reminded him of his old home, a shack in the Townsville dump. It was ramshackle and mix-and-match. He still remembered the excitement from when he and Big Billy unearthed a proper table to play cards at; a table that didn't wobble violently every time Lil' Arturo tiptoed past.Though, he wasn't sure if the people in this mansion had ever dug out a piece of furniture from beneath a pile of rubbish and stuck it on display in the hallway.Ace passed the door to a men's bathroom when he noticed odd sounds coming from it. Curious, he swung open the door and stuck his head in.That Sonic the Hedgehog guy was in - yes, IN, - the cubicle door, which was spinning around rapidly, with a blonde dude in red hanging on to the edge and also getting spun around. The hedgehog was flailing his arms and screaming like a total dumbass.There was a short girl with huge puffy black pigtails, stepping around like she was trying to help but unsure of what to do. Then there was the blue-haired prince guy, who had one foot in the toilet. It looked as if it was trying to eat his foot and he was attempting to pull it out while simultaneously hitting the commode with his sword.The sink taps were on full blast, but the water was gravitating up towards the ceiling, where it pooled and dripped down like rain. Rolls of toilet paper and disposable paper towels were fluttering around like birds, becoming more and more sodden by the indoor rainfall. Bright, colourful neon lights were flashing at random intervals and "Stayin' Alive" was playing in the background.Ace shut the door and continued on his way.~*~Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, 2D found a place to sit: at the villains table. Ganon, Wario, the Koopalings, Dark Pit, King Dedede and a still-damp-eyed Bowser looked up at him as he slid his freakishly long legs under the table.Ganon chuckled. "We-hell, what do we have here?""It's the singer from Gorillaz," Dedede rasped."Isn't that the band Samus was talking about this morning?" Dark Pit asked."Yep."2D smiled. "Yuh, that's me! I'm 2D!""You're two-dimensional?" Iggy joked."That's not how we talk to celebrities, Iggy!" Wendy hissed."What would you know about talking to celebs?""More than you, apparently!"2D put his hands up, "Hey, it's okay, you don't' need to fight!"Ganon placed an enormous hand on his shoulder. "Just forget it. Once they get going, nothing can stop them."Indeed, Wendy and Iggy began to raise their voices as they rattled off who would be more worthy of a celebrity's attention. King Dedede inhaled his food and quickly scampered off from the table. Wario put headphones on. Dark Pit buried his face in his hands, wondering what he did to deserve getting put at the villains table.~*~At another table, Noodle and Samus were talking to each other so quickly that Stormy couldn't get a word in edgewise, so she shoved the last mouthful of naan in her mouth and stood up.Walking past the villains table, she noticed the singer looking extremely uncomfortable as he listened to the Koopalings arguing over some random pointless bullshit. She clicked her fingers at him and pointed to the floor by her feet. The blue-haired man got the message and unfolded his legs from beneath the table and joined her."Alright," Stormy said after they walked out into the hallway, "I'm Stormy, and we're gonna wreak some havoc tonight, gotcha?""Uhh…alright, then," 2D seemed unsure of how to respond. "At least you got me outta there. Oh uh, I'm 2D, by the way.""Nice." Stormy stopped and turned around. "Hey, how heavy are you?"~*~Back in the cafeteria, Russel finally noticed that the singer was missing. He sighed and stood up, the table and seat making a racket as they scraped against the floor."Aw, where are you gonna go now? Don't you wanna hang out with us?" Toonie whined.Russel decided it was safer to not respond, so he made his way over to Noodle and Samus."Have either of yous seen Dee?" He asked.Noodle perked up. "No, is he not here?" She craned her neck around to look around the cafeteria."He probably went to go look for the bathroom and got lost," Samus said."Wouldn't be the first time," Russel said before heading for the door. "Imma go look for him.""And speaking of missing band mates," Noodle continued, "where's Ace?"~*~Ace was up the other end of the mansion, standing on a spiral staircase, admiring the framed photos lining the walls. Some of them were of weird star-like creatures and others depicted planets and comets and the like. Some of them looked very bizarre, he swore one planet appeared to be made out of candy. Another was a shimmering orb of water covered by a spiky black shell.He could also hear a piano being played, the tune soft and mysterious. It sounded as if it were coming from somewhere above him, up the spiral staircase.Deciding to investigate, he continued climbing the stairs until he reached the top and found himself in what looked like an observatory.The walls were painted different shades of purple and blue, there were benches running along the circular walls that were cluttered with books and papers and photographs, there was a table set for tea, a telescope in the corner and a piano.The woman sitting at the piano was very tall, with a dress a beautiful shade of turquoise and platinum blonde hair with one long bang covering her right eye. Surrounding her were the star creatures he had seen in the photos. Some were twirling around in the air and some were watching her long fingers move deftly over the keys.She looked so content too, like…"Mama, there's a strange man watching you!"The woman turned to face in his direction. Ace felt like a deer frozen in headlights."Yes, Cosma, that's quite enough, now," she said. She got up and almost floated over to him. "Hello there. What are you doing up here?"Ace fumbled with his sunglasses. "Er, I was just lookin' around.""Well, there's no harm in that, I suppose. My name is Rosalina.""I'm Ace."Rosalina smiled. "Well, Ace, would you like to join me for tea?"~*~"I don't think this is such a good idea, Stormy," 2D said nervously."Nah, trust me, it'll be fine. I used to do something similar with my cousin." Stormy patted the side of the refrigerator. It wobbled precariously.2D nodded, but still looked uncertain as Stormy shut the door."Comfy in there?" she called. She only got a groan in response. She shrugged and looked over the edge of the roof to make sure the fridge was lined up properly. The target: one of the few trampolines in the garden that weren't mangled. In fact, the one trampoline that practically had army-grade rubber. She wasn't sure if it could actually hold the weight of a forty-year-old man inside of a fridge, but it was worth a shot.The tramp looked so tiny from so high up. She hoped she'd lined it up correctly or this would get messy fast.She held out her hand and concentrated on using the Force. The fridge shook and tipped over the edge.A loud scream emitted from the fridge as it plummeted through the air. Stormy watched and cheered loudly as the fridge hit the tramp and was then launched into the air. Right onto the rose bushes.Just as a very disorientated 2D emerged from the dented fridge, another scream was heard, before Peach came marching out."MY FLOWERS!"It was so loud that even Stormy went to cover her ears.~*~"...And this is me hitting a zombie…" Noodle said, as she flashed the photo to Samus. She had made a quick trip back to the tour bus before dessert to grab a photo album, and was now proudly showing off each and every single image."And this," she said, turning the page, "is why I never let Murdoc cut my hair ever again."Samus clapped her hands over her mouth. "Holy shit, it looked worse in real life than it did in the music videos!""I know right? I was so glad when it finally grew out." Noodle pointed to the next few pictures. "And that's me on my eighth birthday...and that's me with my brother and sister." There was a note of hesitation in her voice as she spoke the last few words.Samus stared at the photo. It was of Noodle and a man and woman, both Japanese. Their arms were around each other, one of the man's arms appeared to be holding the camera up, as if it were on a selfie stick."Wait...you have siblings?" she asked.A slight wave of somberness appeared in Noodle's face. "Yeah, turns out I wasn't the only survivor of that super soldier project." She fell silent for a moment. "To be honest, I hadn't really planned on how to tell the fans.""Really?"Mmn. I'm not sure if I really want everyone to know. This is really personal to me, you know. They're my family."Samus nodded, not quite sure if she actually understood."I can trust you not to tell the media, can I?""Of course you can! Why would I?"Noodle seemed happy with that, and her voice grew more cheery. "But man, was I glad to see them!" Then she pointed to another photo, "And that's me when I was nine, spray painting Toochi's legs while he was asleep…"~*~"I fell out of a tree when I was eleven. Landed on my head, then all my hair fell out, then grew back blue," 2D said. Stormy had intervened before Peach could clock the singer with her frying pan, and now the two of them were walking down the hallway. 2D had just finished explaining how he got black eyes, which Stormy found hilariously sad."Hol' on, I need to have a pee," 2D pushed open the door of the first bathroom they came to. Light and 70's disco could be seen and heard clearly when the door opened, then disappeared when it swung shut again and 2D went in. A moment later, he re-emerged from the bathroom with his head covered in dripping wet toilet paper."Er, looks a li'l busy in there," he said.~*~"...Then pretty soon everyone started pinnin' every little petty crime on us, and it was annoyin'." Ace said. He and Rosalina were sitting at the small table in the observatory, sharing lavender tea and some sort of strawberry meringue cake. He was surprised to find himself spilling his entire life story to this woman, but she was so gentle, so understanding, despite telling her about all of his shitty misdeeds."I mean, we've done stuff like that before, but that doesn't mean that we do all of it every day, ya know?"Rosalina nodded. "You mentioned earlier that you realised that you and your gang needed to get out of that situation, when did you realise that?""Oh, right, I forgot I was originally talkin' about that. But there was something that happened that made me open my eyes. A murder.""Really?!""Yup. Some poor chap got lured into the dump and then got his throat cut. It was the first murder in Townsville since the Powerpuff Girls were born. And since it happened in the dump, guess who got blamed?"Rosalina shook her head. "That's awful!""Yeah. Anyway there was this truancy officer, Jack, who was constantly breathin' down our necks, but for once I'm glad he did that, 'cause he got wind of the situation immediately and hired a lawyer for us, who basically told the courts - and the Girls for that matter - to fuck off and that the 'evidence' was all circumstantial at best. And that whole thing got me thinkin': are we really that bad to the point where people didn't hesitate to accuse us of murder? And yeah, I realised we kinda were." Ace said solemnly."Oooh, you're a villain! We don't like villains here!" Cosma shouted from where she floated by the telescope."Cosma! That is very rude of you! We don't talk to anyone like that!" Rosalina scolded sharply. "Now, apologise!"~*~Stormy stuck her head in through the double swinging door leading to the main kitchen. There were multiple kitchens all over the Smash Mansion, but the main kitchen, as the name suggested, was where all the meals were prepared before being brought up to the cafeteria kitchens for last minute preparations before being served.Tonight on the dessert menu: chocolate self-saucing pudding.And, on the bench closest to the door, was the pudding that was specially prepared for Master Hand. Now, Master Hand was a pretty decent guy for the most part, except for one fatal flaw: he liked to take advantage of the fact that he commanded the Miis, and he often requested that meals with special modifications be made specifically for him, and only him, while everyone else got stuck with the boring standard stuff. For tonight's dessert, he'd apparently had a craving for an entire batch of pudding, topped with whipped cream, strawberries and chocolate shavings. Everyone else would be left with plain old vanilla ice cream.Well tonight, the tables would turn."Alright, 2D," she said, "you go in there and distract them, while I'll grab the pudding. I'll meet you outside by the fountain in the middle of the rose maze. You know where that is, right?""Yeah, but…""Go!" Stormy said before she shoved 2D through the swinging doors.2D froze, feeling like an awkwardly placed statue as the Miis all turned in his direction.Think, Stuart, think…As he thought of something, he smelled something meaty amidst all the chocolate. It seemed to be coming from an unnaturally huge pot on the stove.He walked over and looked in. He saw beef bones and vegetables floating in simmering liquid. An idea struck him.He turned to the nearest Mii. "Are you tryin' to make soup?""No, that's…" The Mii began to explain how it was beef stock, but 2D cut him off, having a sudden brainwave."That ain't how you make soup. An' I know, 'cause my mum taught me how to do some stuff." He carried the pot over to the sink and tipped out the contents, despite the protests from the Miis."Now look, there's barely any meat on the bones. An' I don't know of any soup with celery innit." He picked up a piece of the stalky vegetable and waved it around accusingly in the Mii's face. He heard the familiar sound of the doors squealing and decided his work here was done."Now yous best get started on some proper soup, y'here!" And with that, he dropped the celery back into the sink and sauntered out with his nose in the air.Five minutes passed until Russel entered. Before he could say anything, a Mii said, "he came in here, tipped out all the stock, told us to redo the "soup", then left."Russel sighed and walked back out of the main kitchen.By the time the Miis realised Master Hand's custom pudding was missing, Stormy and 2D were already sitting at the fountain in the rose maze, scooping enormous mouthfuls of pudding, cream and strawberries and laughing maniacally as the first few stars began to appear in the sky.

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"Are you seriously still up, Lyn?" Saki asked, descending the staircase in a fluffy blue dressing gown and rubbing his eyes. "It's one AM.""Mmn. Not feeling tired tonight." Lyn replied, not even turning to face her friend, as she was too captivated by her book, the book she'd gotten herself for Christmas, the book she'd already read and reread, and was now in the process of rereading again.Saki glanced at the title. The History of Kereshbough and Other Miscellaneous Islands. "Man, that topic really interests you, doesn't it?" he said, with a hint of an eye roll."It does."There was a brief moment of silence before Saki spoke again. "Did you know Gorillaz are here?"Lyn gave him a curious side glance. "The band?""Yeah. Apparently their tour bus broke down so they're staying the night and calling for repairs in the morning." Saki sat down on the sofa next to Lyn. "Toonie told me all of this when I caught him sneaking into Ashley's room." Saki paused. "He shouldn't have bothered trying to sneak in. She wasn't there anyway.""She never came down to dinner, did she?" Lyn closed the book, marking her page with her thumb, and giving Saki a worried look."You're right. Where'd she go?"~*~After a tow truck was called, the goodbyes that morning were quick, as Russel was desperate to get going.2D had woken up, still by the fountain in the rose maze, Russel standing over him, and Stormy was long gone. He groaned and went to wipe drool off his face before realising he still had the incriminating chocolate pudding smeared all over his face."Dee! Where've you been? We're gettin' ready to go now. Now come and help me find Ace."~*~"So you just left your dad and brother behind?" Ace asked, downing his sixth cup of tea."I did," Rosalina nodded, "but in doing so, I found a new family." She patted Orion, who had fallen asleep on her lap."Where do ya all live?""In an observatory that the Lumas and I built. I must show you some time, I am quite proud of it. Though recently, I'm residing at the Mushroom Kingdom with Peach and Daisy.""Why?"Rosalina shrugged. "While I do like touring the galaxies, I think it's time we settled down. Galaxy-hopping has made me feel like a drifter, or someone who just doesn't belong anywhere."But, when one of my Lumas feel as if it is time to transform into a planet or comet or whatever they wish, I will take them back up into space for that purpose. I do not want to deprive them of that just because I don't want to live in space anymore.""Ace!" Noodle's voice called from below before he could respond to Rosalina, "we're going!"~*~Ten minutes later the band were piling into their tour bus as the tow truck lifted the front end up carefully. As the truck's engine rumbled into life, Noodle stuck her head out the window and shouted "call me!" in Samus's direction. Samus gave a thumbs-up in response.Ace, however, simply put his hand into the shape of a phone and held it up to his head. This gesture was aimed at Rosalina, who had also come down to say farewell. She held a scrap of paper in her slightly sweaty hand.She had gotten a guy's number. That was one thing she could cross off of her hypothetical bucket list.~*~"Right," Master Hand said as soon as they came back through the door. "That's enough of that, now everyone can concentrate on their battles." he snapped. The impromptu goodbye committee groaned and headed off in the direction of the teletransporters.Master Hand didn't mean to be snappy, but last night was not a good night for him. First someone had made off with his personal chocolate self-saucing pudding (he strongly suspected that Stormy was responsible), then he had to deal with a situation in one of the men's bathrooms, and then Crazy Hand had managed to sneak some cheese and maple syrup. Why that particular food combination made Crazy so, well, crazy, was beyond him.~*~When Shulk didn't show up to breakfast later that morning, Zelda grew concerned. She now wandered down the hallways, calling out Shulk's name.She passed Doc and she asked him if he knew where Shulk was."As a matter of fact, I do." he responded."Where? I've been looking for him for ages." Zelda said."He's in the med bay."Zelda gasped. "What?! What for?"Doc made a sound like a sly laugh. "He and Sonic are both suffering from extreme cases of motion sickness. They've been up all night moaning about how the world keeps spinning."~*~Samus hung her head as she walked into the cafeteria and took a seat next to Stormy, who was eating a bowl of fruit holes.Stormy saw how sad she seemed at the band's departure, and offered up a spoonful of her probably-should-be-illegal cereal.Samus, without turning her head, opened her mouth and accepted the little pick-me-up, not thinking twice about how it was probably a bit gross sharing the same spoon.~*~When Marth collected a bowl of porridge from RedQueen, he tried to hide himself behind Ganon. He had lost his shoe in his battle with the toilet and, for some reason, had misplaced his spares, but he didn't want Lucina to notice (or anyone, for that matter) because she'd talk his ear off about how irresponsible he was. As if it was his fault his shoe got eaten by a fucking toilet.Ganon glanced at him over his shoulder. "What the hell are you doing?""Shhh," Marth whispered as he looked over at Lucina. Ganon followed his gaze and smiled."Oooh, you like her? You spying on her?" Ganon teased."Shut up! As if!" Marth protested, going red in the face.Ganon's grin grew wider as he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted "Oi, Lucina! Marth just said he doesn't like you!"Lucina's head swivelled round. "WHAT?!""What?!" Marth cried."Yeah, wuh?" Fox joined in from where he sat trying to distract Falco from ogling at Amalia."Oh my god Ganon, you suck!" Marth yelled. His voice was drowned out by Lucina hollering "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME?!"~*~Over at the Assist House, Chrom opened the front door to see Ness and Toonie standing on the porch."Come for more breakfast, have you?" He asked."Yeah, um, Lucina and Marth are fighting and it's really distracting," Ness explained.Chrom's eyes widened. "Lucina? Oh no…!" He pushed past the two children and sprinted across the field towards the Mansion.Ness and Toonie entered the house and went into the kitchen where Lyn and Kat and Ana were preparing toast and cereal. Kat squealed when she saw Ness."Hiii, Ness!" she giggled. Ness giggled in return.Toonie rolled his eyes at that and turned to Lyn. "Is Ashley around? I came to see her last night but she wasn't here.""I don't know." Lyn stopped what she was doing for a moment and looked out the window. "She didn't come back for dinner last night, so…""I'm right here." A deep-sounding yet childish voice replied. It was Ashley."Yo Ash, wazzup?" Toonie asked, pointing finger-guns at the girl he secretly had a bit of a crush on."And where were you yesterday?" Lyn stood with her hands on her hips.Ashley craned her head back to look at the tall young woman. "Sonic got stuck in a door and I was trying to get him out. I would have come back sooner, but things got pretty wild…"

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When the Smash Mansion was first built, it wasn't known as the Smash Mansion (it wouldn't be called that for another fifty-four years). It was called the Macador Mansion.It was built by an unbelievably rich gentleman named Lord Macador who apparently really wanted five floors worth of rooms to do only God knows what in. There were more rooms than one knew what to do with, so much so that, after his death, the mansion changed hands sixteen times in the span of nineteen years before it came into the possession of Master Hand and Crazy Hand, who then founded the Super Smash Brothers Tournament in order to help repay back the loan they borrowed from the bank in order to buy the place.(They received tons of dough from the merchandising rights and the public pays even more money to watch their favourite fighters duke it out, so it all worked out in the end.)Each floor of the Mansion had a specific purpose to it. The ground floor was the main living space. It had the kitchens, cafeteria, common room, games rooms and most of the bathrooms. Also on this floor were the hallways, bathrooms and entrances to the spectator platforms, as well as the side entrance that were used by guests and spectators from the general public coming to watch the battles.The first floor was the gym and training area.The third floor contained the bedrooms.The second and fourth floors, which also contained bedrooms, were deemed off limits by Master Hand because they were being used for "storage". Which is a pretty flimsy excuse considering the fifth floor.The aforementioned fifth floor was split into two parts. The first part was a ballroom which Lord Macador used to hold the most ridiculously lavish and extravagant parties, and the other part, blocked off from the ballroom by a thin wall, was used for storage. It was as musty and dusty as a typical attic and the way everything was shoved together made the place feel more like a museum, where one could rediscover all the random crap that had been collected over the years.The roof was also a popular lounging area. People had dragged up sun chairs and even a mini fridge, with an extension cord that ran halfway down the stairs to the nearest electrical outlet.The observatory (where Rosalina spent most of her time) was impulse-built by Lord Macador a year before he died. It occupied its own wing at the back of the mansion.The mansion sounds big enough already without the three floors below the ground.The Underground, as they were referred to, was where the Miis lived. Underground 1 was where paperwork was taken care of, mostly regarding bills, maintenance and copies of important documents.Underground 2 was split into several levels. Level 1 had classrooms, where the Miis were trained on what to do and how to respond in an emergency and different situations. Due to the sheer number of Miis, they were separated into groups. All day, every day, there would be a group of Miis in each classroom and every Mii attended at least once a week.Level 2 was the gym for the Mii fighters.Level 3 was another storage area, except that it held dangerous equipment and machinery and was much better kept than the one on the fifth floor.Undergrounds 2 and 3 housed the Miis living quarters; bedrooms, cafeterias, common rooms and bathrooms. And finally, Underground 4, an addition built by the Hands, was a sturdy, fully furnished and supplied bomb shelter. Just in case. One can't be too careful, nowadays.The Smash Mansion is big, isn't it? How could anyone be expected to find their way around?Well, if one spends long enough in the mansion, they soon learn the ins and outs. All of them. And the choice spots to hide things. Like anti-aircraft guns.But the downside is that it's very easy to lose things. Like Mr Whoopy.Master Hand was frantic to find him. Ever since the grocery shopping disaster with the Young Ones last week, he realised that Mr Whoopy could really come in handy for keeping the little buggers in line. Problem was: he couldn't find him. And it was a brand-new Saturday, meaning it was the day of the Young Ones Programme. He was on a timer.He'd swept all the papers off his desk and pulled drawers out. He'd turned over the bookshelves. He'd even pried open some of the floorboards. All to avail. Mr Whoopy was nowhere to be found.It was then that he decided to look in the attic on the fifth floor.And it was in the hallway where Pit, Stormy and Toonie saw Master Hand rushing past, evidently very frazzled."Where do you think he's off to in such a hurry?" Stormy asked as she blew a bubble with her strawberry-flavoured bubble gum."Dunno. Let's follow him!" Toonie cried, and took off after Master Hand. Pit and Stormy looked at each other, shrugged, then ran after the blonde boy.~*~Master Hand stepped out of the elevator to find himself completely surrounded by darkness and dust. Coughing, he flicked on the light switch and flapped his fingers around to clear the air a little.The attic was worse than he remembered. Everything was piled up on top of each other in dangerously high groups with barely and floor space in between. It would take him forever to find Mr Whoopy!He inched around carefully, making sure not to knock anything over as he searched the piles gently, moving further away from the elevator, to the point where he was far enough away and so distracted by what he was doing that he didn't hear the elevator ding as the doors opened."Man, this place is crazy!" Toonie said quietly as he took notice of Master Hand and, not wanting to be spotted, crept behind a china-filled glass cabinet resting atop an old box TV. Pit did the same, Stormy too, but not before she knelt in front of the TV and used her finger to draw something in the dust on the screen.Suddenly, they heard a crash and what sounded like a gong, as well as Master Hand shouting "God fucking damn it! Where is that piece of shit?!Even Stormy stopped chewing her gum as Master Hand let out a wordless yell of pure rage before he angrily floated to the elevator, got in and went back down to the ground floor.The three delinquents emerged from their hiding place."I wonder what he was looking for?" Pit said, scratching his head in confusion."Dunno, but let's look around and see if we can find anything cool that we can show the others." Stormy said as she picked up a battered, old-fashioned red telephone.~*~Pit found some old porn magazines dated from the mid-to-late sixties. He flicked through them innocently, wondering why there was page after page of half-naked, scantily-clad women. Like seriously, who would want to read this?~*~Stormy discovered that it wasn't a gong that had made the strange singing sound, it was a bell. It was big enough that it looked like it belonged in a church, not in the attic of an overly-humongous mansion hosting a fighting tournament.Next to the bell was a lasso, made from yellowed rope and tied in a thick knot. Excitedly, she picked it up, spun it around, then threw it. She felt it tighten as it landed around something, and she pulled it towards her. Whatever it was, it was fairly heavy and made a bunch of tiny ding-a-ling sounds. She'd yanked it enough into the light to discover that it was a fully decorated, albeit long since dead and brown, Christmas tree, complete with tinsel, baubles, bells and a star on top.The hell? she thought as the popped a gum bubble between her teeth.~*~Toonie, meanwhile, had found a jar of pickles inside of an old microwave. Giggling, he hurled the jar at a shoebox that was resting on the very top of a particularly large pile. Instead of hitting the shoebox, however, he hit another box below it that caused everything on top of it to come crashing down.Toonie covered his eyes as a cloud of dust washed over him. When he looked again, he saw a dusky orange umbrella at his feet. Peering closer, he noticed something poking out from inside the folds. He grabbed it and pulled, and something long and sleek came slipping out. When he saw what it was, a slow grin spread across his face."I need to show the others!" he shouted excitedly as he ran to the elevator.That was the context.But when Chrom and Lyn went into the field to gather up the Young Ones only to find them taking turns flicking around a long black whip, they didn't have that context. Actually, they were very confused. And concerned for their safety.And when Shulk hit Zelda in the face with it, their concerns became perfectly justified, and they raced over.Shulk let out a strangled gasp as he ran over and helped Zelda pick herself up off the ground."Omigod omigod omigod I'm so sorry it was an accident, are you alright?"Zelda gently touched her cut cheek and winced. Tears of pain formed in her eyes. But still she put on a brave smile."No Shulk, I know it was just an accident. I'm alright.""But your cheek is bleeding…"Zelda put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh Shulk, I'll be alright."Shulk still felt terrible, especially when Chrom arrived, panting and shouting "Shulk, what the fuck are you doing with a whip for god's sakes, kid?!""I… Toonie brought it and was letting everyone try it out." Shulk said, still flashing apologetic grimaces at Zelda.Chrom took in a deep breath."AND WHERE DID YOU GET A WHIP FROM?!" he bellowed, pointing at the small boy. He was getting real sick of Toonie's shit."I found it." Toonie said, completely unfazed by the outburst."WHERE? WHERE EXACTLY?!""Inside an umbrella.""An umbrella?" Lyn asked as she attended to Zelda."Yeah!""An umbrella." Chrom stated in disbelief."That's what I said.""Well, where was the umbrella?""In the mansion."Chrom's nostrils flared. "Toonie, I'm warning you, no funny business. Where was the umbrella?""In the mansion, like I told you.""Where in the mansion?""In a room, duh.""Which room? Where abouts was it?""A room with stuff in it."Chrom grasped his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on. "Where abouts in the room?""On the floor." Toonie rolled his eyes as if that was the most stupidest question he'd ever been asked."Why does she…?" Link muttered.Chrom turned. "What?"Link looked up and held up his phone. "Oh sorry, I just got a text from Daisy asking for my girlfriend's number, and I was just wondering why."Chrom nodded.Lyn stepped up and clapped her hands. "Okay people, enough fooling around. Everyone, get to the minivan. Toonie, give me the whip. We're going to a farmers market to help out with setting up.""Laaaame." Stormy droned."Are we at least allowed to go shopping after?" Zelda asked. Even she, a princess, a helping hand to her people, thought this sounded extremely boring."If you do what you're asked without trouble, we will give you some money to spend. Sound fair?""...Yes…" Everyone sighed.The group then began making their way towards the minivan. On the way there, Ness laid a hand on Toonie's shoulder."Please don't ruin this for us, Toonie." he said desperately."I won't…" Toonie said absentmindedly, staring hungrily at the whip in Lyn's firm grasp.~*~Master Hand also caught sight of the whip as Lyn loaded it into the boot with Stormy, who gave an army salute after Lyn had obviously told her not to play around with it. His heart became heavy with dread and he raced towards the minivan as it kicked into life and began to move."Oh no...Mr Whoopy!" he cried.He was too late. The minivan reached the front gates and pulled out into the road, heading into the city.

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"Man, what kind of person likes farmers markets?" Toonie asked with disdain."Lots of people," Lyn responded. "You can buy all sorts of things, like fresh home-grown fruit and vegetables, handmade jewellery and furniture, sweets…""Still sounds boring." Toonie said, folding his arms and slumping forward."You could at least browse, Toonie," Zelda said. "You never know, you might find something you like."Toonie made a weird sound, like a cross between a growl and a grumble.Stormy was on her phone, texting Samus, with the whip wedged snugly between her and the side of the minivan. She sent her friend a poor-quality photo of the whip, curled up beside her like a thick black snake.Samus texted back: what the fuck is thatStormy sent back: a whip boiiiiSamus sent several emojis in a row, all resembling confusion, along with the question: where the fuck did you get a whip from?Shulk heard the tap-tapping of Stormy typing out a response, and he twisted himself around to look over the seat and into the boot."Who are you texting?""Samus." Stormy said without looking up."What are you texting her about?""None of your business, Nosey Nancy."Shulk shrugged and sat back down in his seat.Eventually, the trees and houses whizzing by became just trees. When even the traffic began to look a bit sparse, Zelda got a bit worried. How far away was this place? Where were they even going?"How far away is the farmer's market?" she asked, ignoring the stinging pain in her cheek.Lyn must have picked up on that, because she laughed and said "don't worry, Zelda! It's just a little ways down the road!"And it was. They knew they had pretty much arrived from the first second they could smell...something. This scent seemed like a combination of cow poo, fertiliser, hay and freshly cut grass. The scent of the farming country.The minivan pulled into the parking lot, which was just a paddock filled with cars parked neatly in rows."Let's get this over with…" Chrom muttered.~*~An hour later...Fox was very confused when he watched a bunch of cows, bulls and horses charge through the streets from the window of the restaurant he was in. He pushed it out of his mind and turned back to Falco and their buddies, hoping that a nice weekend lunch with their buddies would help take his friend's mind off of Amalia.Charizard was outside with a plate full of steak, as he was too big to fit through the door. Pikachu was on the floor with a bowl of ramen. Fox had taken a break from eating his nachos and was trying to entice Falce with fish and chips by waving a chip in front of his beak. But Falco wasn't biting. He was focused on something outside that Fox couldn't see through the bustling crowd and livestock.Suddenly, Falco stood up. "I, uh, need to go pee!" he shouted before dashing out of the restaurant."Oh for God's sakes, Falco!" Fox shouted, standing up himself. He turned to Pikachu and Charizard. "You two wait here. I'll go get him. I'll just be a few minutes!" They acknowledged him with a growl.~*~Fox was lucky he left when he did, otherwise he would have lost Falco in the chaos in the streets. He caught sight of him just before he rounded a corner and Fox ran to catch up with him. As he got closer, he could make out the curly blonde hair and fishnet stockings of Victoria. Shit! Falco must be following her to find Amalia!Victoria eventually disappeared inside a building, with Fox and Falco close behind. Falco reached the building before Fox did, and, thinking he was alone, let the door slam into Fox's face."Fuck!"Falco turned around. "Hey, Fox! Shhh! I'm trying to see if Victoria will take me to Amalia!"Of course he was.Speaking of Victoria, she had disappeared out of sight, though the click-clacking of her high heels indicated that she might be heading towards the far side of the near-empty building. Falco took note and rushed over. Fox followed, nursing his sore nose with one hand.He caught up with Falco just as he was about to step in an elevator with Victoria."Hold it right there, Falco! You come back here, and leave Amalia alone!" he shouted."Oh hello, Fox," Victoria smiled at him. "Are you here to see Amalia too?"Fox was a little confused by her straightforwardness until he looked at her face, with her dopey smile and innocent expression, and then it all kind of made sense. Victoria was pretty much blind to Amalia's disdain for Falce. She would take him to her if he'd asked."What? No, I was trying to keep Falco away from her! Now come on, Falco, let's go. Pikachu and Charizard will be waiting.""Let them wait, Fox, don't be such a killjoy." Falco said."Yeah come on, Fox. Don't you at least want to see our super-secret headquarters?" Victoria asked, still smiling.Fox knew that if he left Falco alone with Amalia, he'd arrive back at the mansion sans teeth. He knew he should go along to make sure he stays out of trouble.And, alright, he was a little curious to see their headquarters. So he accepted the offer and stood in the elevator with Falco and Victoria."Try to stay away from the doors. Amalia said that if you stood between them, you'd turn into human meatloaf." Victoria informed them."Thanks for that," Fox said as the doors closed, with no one standing between them.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The elevator descended quickly with a smooth whirring sound. Small thin beams of light rushed upwards, briefly illuminating the inside of the dim elevator. There were no clicks or sputters in the mechanism. A high-quality piece of machinery indeed.Finally, the doors slid open with a soft ping, signalling that they had arrived at their destination.Victoria stepped out into the dark grey hallway. The floor was striped with bars of light covered by thick glass, on which her heels made a dull clacking sound. Falco was right behind her, with Fox right behind him. They followed Victoria down the monochrome hallway until they came to the end. The blonde pressed her open palm against a section of the wall, then loudly announced "and guests!"Just then, the wall rose up to reveal another dark room. Against the back wall was a raised circular platform-like desk with the edges lined with neon blue trim that gave off a soft glow. A woman sat at this desk, using a typewriter. She peered over the desk at the trio."Hi Moira!" Victoria called.Moira rubbed at her nose. "Hi, Miss DeMays." She peered over the rims of her glasses at Fox and Falco. "Who are they?""Oh, they're just friends! They're here to see Amalia!"Moira sighed deeply as she rolled her eyes. "I don't think Big Brother is going to approve, but whatever.""I'm sure it'll be fine!"Moira shrugged her shoulders and waved them off. As they moved past her Fox swore he heard the receptionist mumble "I don't get paid enough for this…"Victoria went around the desk and through another near-invisible door. It led to another hallway, but the light in here was harsh and buzzing. And unlike the previous hallway, this one was lined with doors, all labelled. Fox looked at them as he went past. They had some slightly concerning names: BRS Storage 3, BRS Weapons Storage, BRS Chemical Lab, BRS Target Range. He wondered what BRS stood for.Suddenly, a loud explosion shook the walls. Victoria stumbled, then jumped up and squealed."Ooh, they're in! I hope they brought me my special jelly!"She ran with wobbly steps through a door labelled as BRS Technology Lab. When she did, a huge black cloud of smoke filled the hallway, and with it came a voice."For fuck's sake, Mason, I said don't touch the damn keypad!" It was male and very angry.Fox entered the room, waving his hands around his face to clear the smoke. As he did so, he heard what sounded like an air conditioner, and the smoke dissipated almost immediately.He was able to see his surroundings now. The room was brightly lit, with several desks cluttered with papers, books and various other knick-knacks. The room was filled with all sorts of technology: computers, screens, wires, massive structures covered with computers, screens and wires, and a large box-like device mounted on the wall, as well as the man manning the switch."Ah, that's much better," he said. He was very odd-looking. He had blonde hair with several tufts sticking up, and he wore baggy camo trousers, sandals and a white singlet with something written on it in katakana. But that wasn't what was odd about him. His right arm and left leg were constructed from light grey metal. The hand and foot were just solid metal with, from what Fox could see, individual moving fingers and even toes. The left leg of the pants stopped just above the knee, as if to allow the limb more room to move around.The joints were connected by a ball, to allow more freedom of movement. Fox also noticed how the limbs didn't make any robot-y noises when they moved, showing some genius and sophistication in their manufacturing.But that wasn't all about him. The man also had a thin sheet of reflective metal or glass (Fox couldn't tell) covering his eyes, wrapped around his head and disappearing under his hair. Very odd. Fox wondered what its purpose was.The man took notice of Victoria and went over to one of the desks. He reached into one of the drawers and pulled out several small multi-coloured boxes."Here's your jelly." he said as he tossed them to her.Victoria shrieked with pleasure, hopping up and down as she flashed the boxes at Fox and Falco. "Glitter jelly! I loooove it! You can only get it in Gunbus Moon…""Gibbous Moon," the man corrected."...and I loooove it!""You already said that." Falco said, glancing around. "Where's Amalia? You said she'd be down here.""She's in the…" The man trailed off and he did a double take at the two other people in the room. "What..."Fox stepped forward. "I'm Fox, and this is Falco. We're from the Super Smash Brothers tournament."The man gave a slow nod in understanding. "I know that, but what are you doing down here?""Looking for Amalia.""Why?""'Cause I wanna talk to her."The man's mouth wavered. "Fine. She's in the Target Range.""Cool! Thanks!" And with that, Falco took off again.Fox leaned his head back in frustration. "I'd better go after him and stop him before he gets his teeth knocked out. I'm really sorry about intruding like this.""Don't be." The man shrugged. "Amalia knows how to apply reasonable force to avoid knocking someone's teeth out.""But what if she gets angry?"The man paused. "Good point," he said after a while. "But, we're still around. We can pry her off of him if need be."There was a shuffling by the wall and Fox turned to see another man, with brown hair in a short bowl haircut and wearing a skin-tight red and white marbled full body suit, with his arms folded and a grumpy expression on his face."God, I could go for a cigarette." he looked at the blonde man with a twinge of hope."Not allowed to smoke in the lab, Mason."Mason muttered something unintelligible.The man turned back to Fox. "I'm Zeke, by the way." Then he shook his hand."Nice to meet you. And, er, interesting place you've got here.""Yeah, it's where I develop equipment for our missions.""Your hitman missions, you mean?" Fox's voice wobbled a little. He couldn't believe he just shook the hand of someone who works for an organisation of hitmen.Zeke laughed. "What else?"Over on the far wall another door opened, one that led into the Chemical Lab. and through it walked a woman. She was wearing a white lab coat with blue rubber gloves, black stockings and black sneakers. But the most eye-catching thing about her was her hair. It was red. Not orangey-red, not browny-red, but full-on blood-red. It was perfectly straight, and long too. It reached all the way down to her waist. Some of it was shorter, reaching her chest and moving freely along the sides of her face, while the longer parts were kept tucked behind her ears. As she came closer, Fox noticed that she also had a small cowlick on the crown of her head."Zeke, Victoria just put a full packet of jelly in my flasks and now there's sparkly pink everywhere." She spoke in a slight accent that Fox couldn't quite place.Zeke sighed. "What's in that stuff that makes it explode like that?" This evidently wasn't the first time it had happened."I don't know exactly, but I'm ready to ban Victoria from the lab until I find out-""Find out what, Professor Miyanzer?"The trio turned to see yet another man, this one wearing a black and white pressed suit with a black bowler hat lowered to cover his eyes. He looked like a mobster from the 1930s. He caught sight of Fox and leaned in closer, as if to inspect him, then spoke in a firm voice:"And what is Fox McCloud doing here?"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Fox was immediately intimidated by this man, who was seemingly staring at him from behind the brim of his hat, with his arms folded and a frown on his face. His first impression of the man wasn’t helped by Zeke trying to stutter out a response: “Er, he, uh, well-” Without warning, the man reached over and gave Zeke’s shoulder a pat. Within a flash, his frown was gone and he was all smiles. “Aw, I’m just playing. I’m not angry.” Then he turned to Fox. “You guys would have had to find out about us sooner or later. But anyway, how’d your first meeting go?” Fox blinked. What? “I’m sorry, but what do you mean?” The man gestured to Zeke, Mason and the redhead. “These lovely people, as well as Amalia and Victoria, are the Black Rock Squadron. Master Hand hired them as security for the mansion.” It all clicked properly in Fox’s mind. “Ah, I see now! For a second there I was a little confused…” “That's all right! I imagine it must be weird for you, being in a place like this.” The man held out his hand for Fox to shake. “I'm Big Brother. I run this joint.” “Nice to meet you.” Fox paused for a moment. “Master Hand didn't really tell me a whole lot about you guys.” “Well, now that you're here, you can learn all there is to know about us. Or, rather, what we'll allow you to learn about us.” Big Brother grinned. Fox decided to leave the questions regarding their assassination work for another day. He pointed to a contraption with computer screens all over it. “What does that do?” Zeke walked over to it. “I'll show you…” ~*~ “Unbelievable!” Chrom snarled through clenched teeth. “Unbe-fucking-lievable!” He glared at Ness and Toonie in the rear view mirror. “I can't leave you two alone for ten minutes, can't I?” “You did,” Stormy piped up. “It just ended really ba-”"I don't want to hear any kind of sarcasm from you, Stormy. Got it?” Chrom hissed. Stormy nodded, swallowing nervously. The other occupants of the minivan were silent, not daring to make a single sound for fear they'd set Chrom off again. This was the angriest they'd ever seen him, and now they were afraid of what he'd do if he was really pissed off. The day hadn't gone as planned, not even close. They had been split up into pairs and sent away with a vendor to help them set up. Ness and Toonie were to help a few men herd some livestock into another paddock, to keep the animals from disrupting the market. As soon as the mens’ backs were turned, Toonie had gotten up to his old tricks again and thought it would be a funny prank to steal the whip from the minivan and use it to stir the animals into a frenzy. All he wanted to do was cause a little mayhem, but he ended up causing too much mayhem. The rest of the drive back to the mansion was in icy silence. No one made a sound, not even a single cough. It was uncomfortable, awkward and they couldn't wait to get out of the van and away from Chrom’s wrath. Finally, the van passed through the iron gates and into the spacious garage. Right as everyone was about to make a break for the doors, Chrom locked them. “Now wait just a minute,” he said coldly. “Once we get inside, we’re all going to Master Hand’s office, and you're going to explain what you did.” It was so silent that everyone heard Toonie gulp. Oh no. He was really in for it now! ~*~ Master Hand was sitting at his desk, grumbling over having lost his favourite pen, when the door flew open and in marched the Young Ones programme, herded in by an angry Chrom. Master Hand inwardly groaned, wondering what kind of shit he had to sort out this time. Chrom nudged Toonie, who was fidgeting nervously, with his leg. “Do you want to tell him what happened?” Toonie looked up guiltily. Next to him, Ness’ face was pinched, like he was holding back tears. “Toonie,” Chrom urged in a growling voice. Toonie took a deep breath and began to talk. “I found this whip and I used it on all the animals and then they got all wild and, er, broke loose.” “And?” “They rampaged all over the city.” Master Hand furiously drummed his fingers on the table. Fucking. Brilliant. “And what made you think that was a good idea?” Toonie shrugged. “Now,” Master Hand continued, “where exactly did you find this whip?” Toonie gulped, for the fifth time in the past ten minutes. “Um, upstairs. In that weird storage place.” “Well,” Master Hand leaned in threateningly close. “I happened to have been searching for a whip this morning, and couldn't find it. And as a matter of fact, I was planning on using it on you, to keep you all in line.” The kids gave each other the side eye, knowing that even though they may have avoided one beating, they were surely going to get another. And it was all because of Toonie. But then, Master Hand said to Chrom, “Who else was involved?” “Ness was, I believe. The others were elsewhere at the time.” “Right then. Ness and Toonie can stay here. Everyone else can all go.” ~*~ As soon as the others had left, Master Hand, Chrom and Lyn all stared darkly at the pair. Ness was upset. This wasn't his fault! He was trying to stop Toonie! If anyone had to be punished, it was Toonie! Not him! Master Hand’s voice stirred him from his thoughts. “Both of you are grounded for the rest of the week. I'm sure you already know how this goes. You may still go to battles, but you are not to leave the mansion grounds for any reason. And if you cause more trouble next week, I'll forbid you from using the training facilities. Do I make myself clear?” Both boys nodded glumly. “Now, where's the whip?” All four humans’ faces went blank, like they were either lost in thought or didn't even understand the question. “Um…” Toonie said quietly. “What?” Chrom blinked. “The whip. Where is it?” They all looked at each other. “I don't remember seeing it when we left,” Lyn said cautiously. “Me neither,” Toonie added. “You mean to tell me that you lost it?!” Master Hand’s voice rose a decibel or two. “...Yes?” Ness squeaked. “But we can go back tomorrow and get it!” Chrom jumped in before Master Hand could explode. “I'm sure we just left it behind.” That seemed to settle him. The hand sat back down. “Very well. You may go, I suppose.” ~*~ “Hey, Samus,” Stormy announced, strolling into the bedroom with a noticeable spring in her step. “I've got something cool to show you.” Samus, who was laying on her bunk reading, put down her book and rolled over to face her. “What is it?” Stormy looked around for a few seconds, as if she was expecting someone to come busting through the door or windows in an effort to prevent her from revealing her secret. Once she decided the coast was clear, she slowly began hitching up her skirt, a mischievous grin spreading across her face as she did so. Samus sat up fully and held out her hands. “Hey, whoa, what the hell are you doing?!” Stormy responded by lifting her skirt up fully, revealing something coiled around her waist. Something thick and black and shiny. Something that looked an awful lot like a whip. Samus peered at it. “Isn't that that whip you were texting me about earlier?” “It sure is!” Stormy said proudly. “Why is it under your skirt?” “Because I'm hiding it, duh.” Stormy rolled her eyes. “No one knows I have it. And I prefer to keep it that way. So don't go running your mouth about this, okay?” “Okay fine, whatever.” Samus stretched back out onto her bunk. “But seriously, why do you even have a whip in the first place? Where'd you even find it?” “We found it in that weird attic place, with all the random junk in it.” Stormy explained. “Anyway, Toonie used it at the farmer’s market we went to and got in trouble for it. He left it behind in the field after Chrom took him away and I came by and picked it up. And Master Hand was saying how he was going to use it to quote-unquote ‘keep us all in line’, so I really don't want him to know that I have it.”Samus raised an eyebrow. “Damn, Master Hand’s getting desperate, isn't he? He wants you to behave that badly?” “Pretty much.” “So what are you going to do with the whip now?” Stormy pulled her skirt back down and moved to climb up to her bunk. “I dunno, I'll think of something.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day was Sunday. The last day of fun and relaxation before the smash battles began again come Monday. And since Saturday was already taken up by the Young Ones Programme, Sunday was specially reserved for the kids to sleep in. Everyone was glad for it, relishing the extra hour or two of silence before the kids woke up and began wreaking havoc, as usual. Today, though, was thankfully peaceful. It seemed that the more rowdy among them had calmed themselves for the time being, lest they make Master Hand even more angry than he already was. And as the different Smashers went about their day, a rainstorm broke out overhead, covering the whole city in various shades of grey. It added ambience, as well as a new element of coziness, to the already cozy Smash Mansion. ~*~ Beebs had woken up fairly early, when the sky was just starting to light up. She didn't get up though, instead choosing to reach over to her nightstand and grab the crime thriller she'd borrowed from the library, and dig out a packet of candy from under her bed. She lay on her side, immersed in her book, the flavours of lemon and cherry coating her mouth, wrapped up tightly in her blankets, Duck Hunt snoozing against her legs, with the sound of rainfall outside. She felt completely at peace. ~*~ Sunday was shower day for Palutena, so as soon as she got out of bed, the bathroom was off limits to all but herself. She stood for a long time under the hot water, letting it soothe her body that was sore from sleeping on a tiny bunk. She grabbed her special shampoo and worked it through her ridiculously long hair. Then she lathered her soap all over her body, filling the air with the scent of burnt vanilla orange. She quite liked that soap; it was a limited-edition scent from Lux Beauty. Robin had given it to her for Christmas last year. During his most recent visit, while Pit and the others were elsewhere and therefore unable to see their exchange, he'd presented it to her, having wrapped it himself, albeit quite messily. She was delighted by it. Palutena was suddenly jostled from her thoughts by the disgusting, slimy sensation of the shower curtain sticking to her damp leg. She audibly gagged at the feeling. “EWW!” she squealed, her voice shrill, as she slowly peeled the offending material from her skin. Stupid gross shower curtain! ~*~ Little Mac got up fairly early every morning, in order to squeeze some more training in. It was a routine he was used to, and didn't want to give up any time soon. He wouldn't get better if he didn't train, after all. He entered the gym, shivering in the cold morning air as he pulled his pink sweatshirt closer around himself. Doc Louis was already there, standing next to Sandbag eating a chocolate bar. Doc Louis didn't need to tell him what to do. This was a routine they did every morning, after all. Little Mac pulled on his trusty boxing gloves and got into position, standing in front of Sandbag, ready to punch the living daylight out of it. Doc Louis gave him a sharp nod. “Show this thing what you got, Mac baby,” he instructed, even though Little Mac didn't really need to be told at this point. ~*~ Heyyy Midna how are you doing, Link typed out on his phone, sending it to his girlfriend once he was done. He only needed to wait a minute for a response.
Just fine, wby
Link smiled. When Midna left to go back to her people, he thought, sadly, that that was the last he'd ever see of her. The very thought of remaining separated made his heart ache something awful. So when he discovered that they could reach each other via the teletransporters, one of which, surprisingly, already existed in her world, he could have leapt with joy. He couldn't bear the thought of living without her. ~*~ Mario woke up to the sound of his alarm buzzing. He immediately rolled out of bed in a smooth, well-practiced motion and headed straight for the bathroom. The first thing he did every day was make sure his mustache was in tip-top condition. He inspected it in the mirror. A bit on the messy side, but nothing that a little combing couldn't fix. He reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out his kit. Oil, combs, razors and the like, all kept neat and tidy in a small waterproof bag that Luigi had given him for his birthday some years prior. His most prized possession lay inside of a small, rectangular wooden box lined with dark blue velvet: a gold-tooth comb. He took it out and carefully got to work. His mustache wasn't iconic for a lack of grooming, after all. ~*~ In three separate rooms on opposite ends of the hallway, Wilson, Willow and Captain Falcon got out of bed, dropped to the floor and did twenty push-ups each. Willow and Wilson went on to do jumping jacks and sit-ups followed by some light yoga, while Captain Falcon pulled on his skintight suit and headed downstairs for breakfast. He walked into the cafeteria, expecting the usual selection of porridge, cereal, toast and fruit, but was instead greeted by the warm smells of bacon, syrup and… something else. Something sweet-smelling… From where he stood at the service counter, he could see several Miis in the kitchen, mixing pancake batter and pouring it onto hot plates, cooking bacon, caramelizing bananas, and preparing large jugs of maple syrup. Before he could even open his mouth to ask for the biggest serving possible, RedQueen was already handing him a plate holding five pancakes stacked with caramelized, syrupy goodness. He didn't say thank you, he simply held onto the plate for dear life, as if he was expecting someone to snatch it from him, and walked quickly to a table. Stormy was already sitting there, shoveling bits of pancake into her mouth with one hand holding a fork, while her other hand was busy scribbling something furiously into a notebook of some kind. Captain Falcon wrapped an entire pancake around his fork, with difficulty, ignoring the syrup running down his arm, and shoved it into his mouth. ~*~

The following passage is taken from page 12 of Stormy’s second dream journal. It was written in messy Aurebesh.

Yoo I had a really creepy dream last night. I was inside this little wooden cabin that had nothing in it except for this table I was sitting at. The table was all scratched up too, like someone had dragged their claws all over it. I was looking at a book on the table - looking, not reading - and I look up and see this girl standing near the doorway. She was maybe my age or a bit older, and she had really ugly, uneven brown hair, like she'd cut it herself with a pair of scissors. She also had lots of freckles, too, and these really wide, crazy-looking eyes. She was smiling at me, really widely. I could see how sharp and shiny her teeth were. It was really creepy.

I look back down at the book. When I look back up again, the girl was standing closer to me, halfway across the room. She was still smiling at me. I turn my head to face away from her.

And I don't know why, but I look at her again, and this time she's standing right next to me. All of a sudden she starts pulling my hair and screaming at me. Her mouth was really wide and I thought it looked like a bottomless pit. Her screaming had a sort of echo sound to it. It was really terrifying.

I woke up then, and I swear to god that I could still see her standing by the bedroom doorway in the dark. But when I turned on the light, she was gone. And I have no idea what it's all meant to represent.
~*~ Falco sat behind his drum set, drumsticks in hand, trying to get a good rhythm going in his head. He'd woken up earlier than usual and decided that it would be a good chance to get some more practice in. While he didn't necessarily have dreams of becoming a famous drummer in an even more famous band, it would be nice to be known as a man who can drum his way into people’s hearts. Now, if he could only motivate himself to practice more often, instead of procrastinating whenever he thinks to himself: I should probably practice my drumming. But in his defense, he's usually too comfortable where he is than to go into the music room, which was often too cold for his liking, and sit on his still, which was too hard and uncomfortable. In fact, he was extremely tempted to call it quits and go back to bed, but the stubborn, constantly disappointed part of his brain demanded that he quit his whining and practice, for goodness sake. So he stayed put, readied his drumsticks, and muttered, “One, two, one two three…”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As soon as the sun rose on Monday morning, Chrom and Lyn got into the minivan and headed back to the farmer’s market, intent on finding Mr Whoopy. They'd meant to do it yesterday, but didn't because of the rain. Now that they'd rested yesterday and calmed down from Saturday’s events, they were ready to go back and collect that goddamned whip. Even so, Chrom’s knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel too hard. He stared straight ahead, but betraying the slightest flicker of emotion. “Chrom,” Lyn said, “it's okay. I think Ness and Toonie have learned their lesson.” Chrom grumbled. “You say that, but something tells me they're only getting started.” Indeed they were. Or at least, Toonie was. Ness was still against the whole idea of causing more trouble. “This is a bad idea, Toonie,” he whispered, scared of being caught and punished for Toonie’s actions yet again. Toonie rolled his eyes. “You're such a wuss. We're not gonna get caught! And even if we do, we’ll just blame it on Bowser.” “I still don't like it.” “I know you don't. Now shut up and pass me the scissors.” Ness obliged, but he didn't stop talking. “Seriously, I don't wanna get banned from the gym! I need it to practise!” Toonie shushed him. “Seriously, shut up! I'm trying to concentrate! Besides, you don't want to disturb them, do you?” He gestured to a big black trash bag, from which a faint buzzing sound could be heard. Ness shook his head rapidly. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask what Toonie thought he could get out of this, but thought better if it and closed it. Toonie would probably just tell him to shut up again. He shivered as he watched Toonie slice through the thick white material. He hoped that he wouldn't get caught again. ~*~ On most weekdays, the common room was near-silent, as everyone was too busy fighting in battles to hang out in there. Today however, it was near-silent except for Fox and Falco, who decided to squeeze in a game of pool with the brand-new pool table before their first battles of the day. Fox lined up the cue for his shot as Falco talked to him. “So do you think I should ask Amalia out?” “No,” Fox said, shifting the cue ever so slightly to the left, “she seems a little, er, young, for you. And even if she wasn't, she's clearly not into you.” “Oh, psh,” Falco said, “I think she is. She just doesn't know it yet.” Fox furrowed his brow. “That's not a good attitude to have, Falco. You need to learn to take ‘no’ for an answer.” He struck a ball with the cue. The ball ricocheted off the edge of the table and knocked into another ball. Falco immediately moved into position. He aimed his cue at a green ball and glared at Fox as he did so. “Why? What's the harm in going on one date with me?” Fox sighed. “Falco, you barely know her. She doesn't like you. Also, did you even hear what I said about her being too young for you? She barely looks older than Link or Zelda. And how old are you, like thirty?” Falco narrowed his eyes. “Come on Fox, I'm not that old.” “That's not the point! The point is, you're being more than a little weird and creepy.” “Whatever.” Falco hit the ball, which bounced off another ball and then another, the clicking loud enough to fill the room. “My point is that I want to date her. At least once. That's not so much to ask, is it?” Fox resisted the urge to groan. Falco obviously wasn't going to give up on Amalia that easily. He wondered what it would take to get him to back off. But knowing Amalia, it was probably too gruesome to think about. ~*~ Doc Louis stood in the spectator box once more, looking down on the arena - Port Town Aero Dive - and on Little Mac taking on Mega Man in a one-on-one fight. Unfortunately, it was not going well for Little Mac, who was on his last stock, but Doc Louis still had hope that he could pull out a surprise victory. After all, he had done so in the past. But it was not to be. Mega Man threw Little Mac into the air off the stage, and at that point, everyone knew it was all over. The rest of the spectators were either cheering for Mega Man, booing at the outcome of the battle, or laughing at Little Mac’s failure. Already, Little Mac’s lack of proficiency in the air had become something of a joke. Doc Louis sometimes suspected that people only showed up to Little Mac’s battles so that they could watch him lose in such a manner. Doc Louis was incredibly disappointed in the public reception, especially considering that before Smash, Mac had been a very well-respected boxer, known for taking down men that were twice or sometimes even thrice his size. And yet here he was, nothing more than a joke to most people. As for how Mac felt about it, Doc didn't know. He'd considered asking him about it, but worried that it might hurt his feelings to know he was looked down upon and scorned. Well, Doc will show them! He'll show them all what a great fighter Mac is! Then who'll be laughing? Not them, that's for sure!