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The sunlight is pleasantly warm on his skin, soft and bright and warm. He walks out on the deck, feeling the light breeze in his hair, feeling for the first time in so long like the young man he truly is.Rey studies him, the softness of his mouth, the gentlest curve of his lips in a brief smile, and knows, intimately, that she is looking not at Kylo Ren, but at Ben Solo. Something in her chest tightens up painfully at that knowledge. "Always wanted to learn to pilot one of those things," he says conversationally. Even his voice has changed to something sweeter, softer. He makes a broad sweeping gesture to one of the X-wings. "Was quite pleased to see I’ve got the talent for it. Would have made my dad real proud if he’d seen." There is troubled look on his face, a shadow passing of something he struggles to grasp. "Always wanted him to be proud of me." "He is," says the man beside him confidently. He looks pale and washed out in the sun, clearly not enjoying the outdoors as much as Ben is, his delicate skin unsuited for the warmth. He rests a hand on Ben's shoulder, and Ben smiles. "You're a good man, Armitage," he says, with warmth and inflection. "You don't have to lie to me." It is none of Rey's business. It is all of Rey's business. The wind picks up something fierce. "It's nice here," Hux says. "I thought I'd never get to see where you grew up.""It's not much is it? Not the mansions of Arkanis, that's for sure." Kylo looks happy when he said it. Like it pleases him. "My mother was a princess, a senator and a general, and she still chose to live here like a commoner with my father..."He trails off looking into the distance, somewhere between the lush green trees. "Were you happy here?" Hux asks, and his voice is gentle. "I must have been," Kylo says, carefully, measuring each word. "I'm sure I must have been. I know I didn't want to leave." That same shadow over his handsome young face. "They made me leave." "They loved you," says Hux softly and dispassionately. "I must have been very difficult to love," says Kylo, something awful and defeated in his voice, choked up and painful. "You were everything anyone has ever loved," Hux promises softly. "You were the best man I had ever known. I loved you very much." He cups Ben's face. Rey wants to leave, and can't, so she remains rooted on the spot. The wind is so strong the platform deck starts shaking, the X-wings rattling precariously. It's still a glorious summer day.
"Was it good?" Kylo asks softly, meekly. Rey can feel the tears sliding down her cheeks. Is this what rain feels like?"Very." Hux reassures. "Was I - I never hurt you, did I? I don't remember sometimes. If I hurt people." "No," Hux murmurs, "no, you never hurt me."Kylo's smile is brilliant in response, and eclipses the sun easily.
"Couldn't have lived with myself. If I had. You must have been very good to me."Rey wonders what to say to that."Yes," Hux says. "We were good to each other." Kylo turns away to the side, face darkening. "I'm not --"Slowly his body folds down to a kneeling position his arm wrapping around his middle, fingers coming away stained with blood. Hux kneels gracefully with him, and pulls Kylo's head in his lap, so the other man lay folded against him. "It was very good," Hux repeats softly. Kylo hides his face in Hux's stomach. "You never raised your voice at me?" He asks, that same meekness in his voice, unbearable. "Never," Hux whispers like a promise, petting his hair gently."You didn't - you didn't hit me?" "No, no. I didn't hit you," Rey wonders why she must keep seeing impossible, terrible things."It must not have been easy," Ben says. "You made it easy," Hux's voice is decisive and sharp, with the same zeal as when he delivered his brutal speeches. "You were - you were so easy to love. I loved you so much. I was ready to die for you." Kylo's smile is soft, pained. "You didn't have to.""I wanted to." Rey can't stop herself from crying, broken soft little noises escaping her lips, so she has to bite down fiercely until she tastes her poisonous blood. "It was good, wasn't it?" Ben asks, seeking some kind of final reassurance. "Us, I mean. Me. I was good?""You were," Hux says, and his smile is shattered on his cruel handsome face, splitting off into pieces. "You were so good. You were so brave. So kind. You didn't deserve any of it. The raised voices, and the fighting. And being hit. Because you were so good." "I'm glad I had you, then," says Ben dreamily. "I must have been very lonely. I'm glad you didn't shout at me, or hit me." "I'm glad too." Rey wants to scream. She feels the howl bubbling up in her throat.Hux leans down, kisses Kylo's mouth. He comes back up with his lips bloody. Kylo is breathing heavy and slow, hidden against him, and Hux smooths his hands over his back and his wounded side. Rey moves her hand rhythmically over Kylo's back. His face is buried in her stomach. His breathing is pained and shallow. She feels him shudder against her. Her face is wet with tears. In her mind's eye Hux is talking to him gently. All she has to do is manifest Hux's image, his voice. Kylo's mind, stripped of its defenses, supplies the rest. She doesn't know if those are words Hux has ever said to him, or words he's always wanted to hear. The simplicity of it breaks her heart. She keeps the illusion going. It's the last kindness she can give him. He is dying someplace kind and soft and gentle. Someplace that he can think of as home. Someone is holding him and telling him he was good, that he didn't deserve to be hurt. Of course, says the Hux she manifested, of course you weren't difficult to love. She believes it. He can't have been. Not like this. Maybe it was Leia who found it difficult to love him. Maybe it was Han. She wonders which one of them hit him. Or maybe it was Luke. But not Hux. Kylo had gathered up every single good thing he had experienced and placed them all in the empty vessel Rey has conjured for his comfort. The illusion is as good as his death would ever be. This isn't a bad thing, that she is doing.
Around them the Final Order's forces are slowly being overwhelmed by the joint forces of the Resistance and the Republic. In her arms Kylo Ren's breathing softly and slowly evens out as she waits for him to die. "Not much left now," says Hux, not unkindly. "Kiss me," Kylo begs sweetly. "Please."
Hux kisses him again. She can feel the blood seeping between his soft lips soaking into her clothes. The blood from his monstrous wound. He had tried to, in the last moments, he had fought. On their side. He had saved her life. "You will be a hero of the Resistance," Hux says gently, voice full of wonder. "Your mother would be proud." Kylo is smiling, tears slowly streaking his face, unscarred in the moment. "You don't have to lie to me. Not you. She will never be proud of me.""You were a good boy," Hux argues. "You did everything you were told." Rey raises her free hand, clutching his body with the other. "You stay away," she warns, voice furious, thick with sobs, the delicate shimmering of the force ghosts blurry through the salt of her tears. "You stay away, and you let me do this for him. He begged you to come. He begged you to help him, he begged any one of you for help, and you never came, and now... you don't get to be here now. You leave him alone now." In her mind's eye Kylo is pressed against Hux's chest. The embrace is gentle. Warm. Hux's chin is resting on top of his head. Rey wonders if they ever did that in real life. She cannot imagine the man who fired Starkiller, and then marched to his death because or principle alone would have ever been gentle or kind. Maybe that's why Kylo had loved him. A man honest in his cruelty. A man, who'd nevertheless been good to him. A man who hadn't lied to Kylo or raised his voice at him. A man who hadn't hit him.
"You fought for me," Hux says softly, and this time Rey is putting the words there. "You must have loved me very much." Kylo lets out an agonizing shuddering breath. "I did." Rey feels him slowly still in her arms. Feels him warm and gentle, and soft, easing away. The edges of the dream sequence blur out. She can feel him thinner in the Force. "I was still too late wasn't I?" "No," says Hux, who is slowly fading around the edges. "You were good. You were so brave. You did everything right."Rey doubles over his body, lets out a shriek, loud and shattering. She feels like an animal, feral and wild as she howls. The dream sequence fades away, as does Kylo's violent formidable presence in the Force. "That was very hurtful," says Luke cautiously, his ghost still not approaching her, not daring to breach the circle she's created around herself. "You must have loved him very much."
Rey's words are muffled in Kylo's chest, where his heart doesn't beat anymore. "I did."