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“Fuck off, Potter, I don’t feel like dealing with you today,” Draco said without looking up from her book. She tossed thick blonde hair over her shoulder and turned the page.“Oh shove it, Malfoy,” Harry said squeezing through too close bookshelves to get to the back of the shop. Malfoy sat on a tall stool behind the grand counter. As always, she looked like a queen above her subjects. Her subjects being ancient and out of print texts that mostly smelled like mold. Even preserved with spells and potions, most were in shit condition. People still bought them though.Harry leaned against the counter. It was hot out and she might have been running down the street to the shop. Her dark curls stuck to the back of her neck and her glasses slid down her nose.“Malfoy, listen for like two seconds,” Harry said tapping his freshly done nails on the worn wood. She wanted Malfoy to comment that it was tacky to paint them Gryffindor colors five years later.As if Malfoy didn’t wear green half the time. Like today, her mint short sleeve blouse paired with a navy skirt. She had the collar buttoned up all the way to her slender neck.She didn’t look up, just turned the page. Harry huffed, pushing her bangs off her forehead. “Come on it’s important,” Harry said. “What are you reading?”“Same thing I was reading yesterday,” Draco said.“You didn’t tell me what you were reading yesterday either,” Harry pointed out. Draco sighed.“Honestly, why are you even here? You show up a week ago back from fucking around in America for five years. You don’t go home, you don’t tell your real friends you’re home, you just hole up in the Leaky Cauldron and bother me. None of it makes sense.”Harry rolled her eyes. “Well, when you put it that way it sounds absurd,” she told Malfoy. Now Malfoy finally looked up. She stared at Harry for a long moment.“So then put it into terms that make some sort of sense.”Harry smiled, pulling an envelope out of her back pocket. She smoothed it out on the desk and passed it to Malfoy. Malfoy looked down at it.“What is it?” she asked.“I’m gonna teach at Hogwarts,” Harry said happily.“No,” Malfoy said with another toss of her long hair. Harry kind of wanted to run her fingers through it.“We’ll have a great time,” Harry said. Malfoy made a big deal about rolling her eyes.“Why aren’t you off telling Weasley or Granger or the weird man you lived with?” she asked.“Sirius? He’s kind of annoyed with me right now,” Harry said. Malfoy snorted.“God, I have no idea why,” she said sarcastically.“We can have good times again. We’ll just be in charge now,” Harry said. Malfoy had been teaching at Hogwarts for the last two years as a Potions teacher. Since they’d graduated, Hogwarts had expanded and had started signing on new teachers for the added classes.“Who let you be in charge?” Malfoy laughed. “Oh right, McGonagall loves you,” she said with another eye roll. Harry beamed.“I was teaching in America,” Harry said. “This west coast school that opened like 15 years ago. Hawthorne. I applied after leaving Hogwarts. Hermione had Ron, Ginny was straight, everyone thought I’d go on to be some great Auror,” Harry trailed off with a sigh. “There was too much pressure and I just had to leave. Then suddenly it’d been five years and I get a letter from McGonagall about the position.”“What did you teach in America?”“Potions. Well, I was the TA. It was taught by this super old guy like older than Dumbledore. He grew most of the ingredients himself.”“Potions. And let’s hear the part of the story you’re leaving out,” Draco said knowing the gleam in Harry’s eye too well. Mischief was her middle name.Harry shrugged. “Taught them some defense against the dark arts stuff for an after-school club. They didn’t have a class like that at school, so I took the opportunity.” She was proud of it and the kids had enjoyed it. It reminded her of the old days.“And let me guess, that’s the position you’re filling at Hogwarts?” Malfoy asked with a sigh.“Yep. I get to be the new Defense teacher.”“Why’d you come back? Won’t this just bring up all those pressures like before?” Malfoy asked. She’d been on the wrong end of Harry’s breakdowns enough in the last two years of Hogwarts. But then she’d done the same to Harry back then for years.“I don’t really know, but that’s why I’m here and not at home. I talked with McGonagall and she warned me that people are still going to remember the war and my name and all that shit. I’m just hoping that since now I’m an adult they won’t be telling me what I should do with my life.”Draco looked at her for a long moment.“I always wondered what happened to the Weasley girl,” Draco said. Harry smiled.“Still thinking about me?” she teased. Malfoy rolled her eyes.“You wish, Potter,” she muttered.“Ginny liked the kissing, but eventually said she didn’t really feel those feelings for me. But I think she was just being nice because I was a right mess during that time.”“Yes, you were,” Draco said.“I know. I’m still sorry about it even though you’ve said it’s okay,” Harry said taking her eyes off Malfoy and looking at her nails. Malfoy had long, slender fingers that Harry hand been jealous of. Tiny wrists and soft pale skin.She tried not to think about sixth year when she almost killed Malfoy. The way her magic cut into Malfoy, slicing her up on the floor of the bathroom-“Potter,” she said. Harry looked up. “Go home. See your friends and stop bothering me.”“I like bothering you,” Harry said with a grin.“I’m going to quit working at Hogwarts.”“You won’t because you love it there,” Harry said. She’d heard from McGonagall that Malfoy and Neville Longbottom enjoyed working there.“Not with you there,” Draco told her. Harry just grinned. Malfoy frowned. “Is that why you painted your nails like that?” she asked. Harry laughed.“No, I just like those colors,” she said holding them up for Malfoy to see better.“I hate the color red,” Malfoy said. Harry was wearing a red v-neck.“You say that on purpose and that purpose being just because I’m here,” Harry said pointing and accusing finger at Malfoy. She picked up her book, running fingers through her long hair.“Fuck off Potter, I said I didn’t want to deal with you today,” Malfoy said tiredly.“You love me,” Harry said, blowing her a kiss.“Mmm, whatever helps you sleep at night,” she said as Harry apparated away. Harry shut the door to her room at the Leaky Cauldron with a heavy sigh. She kicked off her boots and flopped down onto the bed. It was lumpy and the room was stuffy. Harry tied her hair up in a knot and shut her eyes.She should tell Sirius she was back.She should call Ron and Hermione.She should do a lot of things, but the first thing she did when arriving in London was find out which dreary shop Malfoy was working in. Everything was always the same with Malfoy. Harry didn’t know if she loved that or hated it about Malfoy. How even after how disastrous and out of control Harry had been before graduation, things were still the same with them.Harry swirled her fingers around causing a thick book to work its way out of her trunk and land on her stomach. It was a new, heavy volume that Harry had enchanted for her defense students at Hawthorne. They’d write in their notes, comments, and questions and Harry would reply.But nothing new had been written since Harry had gone of to bother Malfoy.She shut the book and went back to staring at the ceiling. Eventually, word would get around that the great Harry Potter was off teaching. Wasting her talents and skills to teach a bunch of first and second years.She frowned. That’s what everyone always said. Strangers were the worst with their constant complaining. She hadn’t even really done anything.It was a night she couldn’t remember and a day no one else could forget.Harry threw the book at the wall. It didn’t make her feel better. Hell, going to Hogwarts was probably only going to make it worse.But the potions teacher at Hawthorne was right; she couldn’t outrun everyone forever.August would turn into September and everyone would know she was back in England, if everyone wasn’t aware of it already. She honestly would have probably waited longer to come back, but she’d received a letter from Ron saying he and Hermione were getting married December 1st and they wanted Harry to be there.And Harry wanted to be there even if it’d be just like old times and Harry would be sulking about her stupid crush while Ron and Hermione made gooey eyes at each other.She kind of missed seeing that though.With a sigh, she decided it was time to go to the Burrow. She wasn’t really sure where Ron and Hermione were currently living. Hedwig just seemed to know. But Mrs. Weasley would be glad to see her anyway and she could tell Harry where to find them.So, boots were put back on and the book was shoved back into her messy trunk. She posed in front of the mirror on the back of the door trying to remember what it’d been like when she’d commandeer the mirror in the Gryffindor dormitory during seventh year to take all their pictures. For the memories everyone would say.Only Hermione knew that was the year Harry couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror without feeling sick. Well, Ron knew too. And Moaning Myrtle because Harry broke all the mirrors in that bathroom out of anger.She sighed, and apparated to an area near the Burrow.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Harry hummed as she walked through the dried grass surrounding the Burrow. She liked that it didn’t have the London stink. Where she’d been in California had smelled fresh when they were away from the cities. The school had still smelled brand new, but the grounds all the way to the beach had been fresh earth. A smell Harry liked. A smell similar to Hogwarts.
The Burrow was quieter than Harry remembered. Bill and Fleur had a little one that Ron said visited a lot to keep his mum happy. But other than that the Burrow was pretty much empty now.
Harry found that rather depressing as she knocked.
“Harry!” Ginny said, eyes going wide when she pulled open the door.
“Uh yeah… hi,” Harry said awkwardly. She had not been expecting Ginny, her one and only ex-girlfriend, to answer the fucking door. Harry wished she was back bothering Malfoy in the safety of the bookshop.
“You’re back! How are you? How was America? How is everything? Come in, come in!” she said in a rush. “Do Ron and Hermione know you’re here?! Do you want me to get them? Mum’s our and dad’s at work, but Neville and I are here,” Ginny continued as Harry followed her through the house to the kitchen at the back.
“Uh yeah let Ron and Hermione know,” she said, stopping to look at the recent family photo on the wall. The Weasley family had sure grown.
“Neville, it’s Harry!” Ginny called out the back door. She turned to Harry, wiping her hands on her jeans and tucking her hair behind her ears. “You look good, Harry,” she said in a softer voice. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “Honestly, everyone has missed you,” she said stepping back. “Do you want tea?” she asked.
“Uh sure,” Harry said and went to sit at the long table. She watched Ginny start the tea and then looked to the backdoor. “What’s Neville doing?”
“Oh, just some work in mums garden. He’s pulling out all his tricks to help the growth,” she said and called out back for him again. “We started seeing each other last year after he came to the finals.”
Ginny had been drafted out of Hogwarts to play professional Quidditch. Harry got the paper all the way from London so that he could keep up with the sport. They had it in America, but it was much more physical and brutal in Harry’s opinion. He taught one of the assistant captains and he always had cuts and bruises after a game.
She sat across from Harry fiddling with her tea cup. “Oh I’ll send word to everyone,” she said getting up quickly and disappearing into the house leaving Harry alone in the kitchen. She was sure Molly hated how quiet it was. Harry hated how quiet it was.
“Hey Harry,” Neville said stepping out of heavy rubber boots. He was covered head to toe in dirt, but other than that, looked the same. Maybe a little taller. Maybe a little fitter.
“Hey,” Harry said as the tea poured into her cup. Neville sat where Ginny had been sitting.
“McGonagall told me you were showing back up to come teach,” Neville said. “I think it’ll be great to have you around again. There aren’t many young teachers. ‘Cept Malfoy. Did you know she was teaching?” Neville asked shaking his head with a laugh. “She never seemed like the teaching type, but she keeps to herself so I don’t worry. McGonagall wouldn’t let her do shit anyway.”
“Yeah, Malfoy definitely doesn’t fit the teaching type,” Harry said sipping her tea. That’s what everyone thought about her too.
“What were you doing in America? Teaching I heard.”
“Yeah uh potions at this school in California. Mostly first and second years who were more interested in instant messaging than potions.”
“I don’t get computers, mate,” Neville said and Harry nodded.
“Everyone’s on their way Harry,” Ginny called, coming back in and taking a seat. “Neville told me you’re going to teach DADA at Hogwarts. That’s great Harry,” she said. Harry watched her put an arm on Neville. “I’m glad you’re back. We all are,” Ginny added. Harry nodded as the fire place lit up and people spilled out.
“HARRY!” Hermione cried as she tore across the living room to wrap her arms around Harry. “I promised Ron I wouldn’t cry, but I’m just so happy to see you,” she said wiping teary eyes. Ron smiled at Harry from behind Hermione.
“Took you long enough to come back, mate,” Ron said hugging Harry when Hermione moved out of the way.
“Yeah I know,” Harry said with a half smile. Hermione hugged her again.
“I missed you so much, but now you’re here and I heard you’re going to be teaching! That’s wonderful Harry!” Hermione said finally taking a seat. She was dressed in a suit and her hair was done up from a day at the Ministry and Ron wore his Auror uniform. Harry was kind of surprised they’d gotten there so fast.
“We’re on our lunch break,” Ron said. “But now that you’re around more and won’t be traveling internationally, you should come by our flat. It’s real lush. Mostly thanks to Hermione, but I do pretty well myself.”
“Ron, your brothers tried to convince you to convince me in using their special paint to paint our house. It turned colors to match your mood,” Hermione said. Ron laughed.
“I think it would have been pretty cool,” he said with a shrug. Harry laughed. “Are you staying at home?” he asked Harry.
“I just got in and haven’t been over to see Sirius,” Harry lied. “I don’t even know if he’s home.”
“Maybe not with the full moon only a few days ago,” Hermione said. Harry nodded. She finished her tea and looked around the table. There’d been this feeling of incompetence that had been trying to ensnare her since graduation. Surrounded by successful people, Harry felt like the outsider. Sure teaching was a good profession, but Harry stumbled into it. She was hired for her skills and talent, not because she’d studied away. And there were all the people who asked why she didn’t use all that skill and talent for something better.
And that’s what lead to numerous mental breakdowns in sixth and seventh year and her abrupt disappearance after graduation. Malfoy had seen more than Harry’s friends had as she lurked in all of Harry’s secret spots around the castle too.
“Nympadora sometimes brings little Teddy around,” Neville said. “I can’t believe he’s already five.”
Harry couldn’t believe five years had passed so fast either.
Conversation moved around the table. Harry talked a little about her time in America and the kids she worked with. She talked about the differences in the school and Hogwarts. She talked about their Quidditch program and she told Neville about all the home grown plants the professor grew onsite.
Molly arrived in a fleury and insisted Harry stay for dinner. She didn’t argue. Arthur returned home and immediately wanted to hear all about AOL and instant messengers as if Harry had any real knowledge. He also had other various questions about American products and why Kinder Eggs were illegal.
Harry had no idea, but kept him entertained as much as possible. All of them thought it was a shame Harry hadn’t gone to Washington DC or gone to classical landmarks such as the Alamo and the largest ball of twine.
Hermione told everyone Harry had at least gone to Disneyland and then she had to repeat the entire story about the class trip to Disneyland. It’s A Small World sucked, but the Haunted Mansion was kind of cool with its mix of real and fake ghosts. Twenty seven other rides also housed real ghosts because apparently ghosts had a thing for Mickey Mouse.
The visit went well into the night and Harry was exhausted when she was finally allowed to leave. She made promises to visit again before returning to Hogwarts and everyone wished her well.
And then there was no way to avoid going to Number 12 Grimmauld Place. Molly let her use the floo and she couldn’t exactly say she was avoiding going home.
So she went.
All the lights were off in the house. There seemed to be no sign of anyone in the house until Kreacher skulked out of the kitchen. “Mistress Potter,” he grunted bringing the lights on. “Master Black is out.”
“I figured. I can come back later.”
Kreacher nodded, heading back into the kitchen. Harry weighed her options; wait around until Sirius showed up which could mean waiting days, inform him that she was there, or return to the safety of the Leaky Cauldron. She kind of wished she knew where Malfoy lived so she could take shelter there and decompress, but instead she hightailed it back to the Leaky.
She took a walk even though it was almost midnight. Harry took a lot of late night walks. She walked towards Malfoy’s bookshop even though she knew it was closed.
In America, she’d briefly gone to a mental health therapist when the professor said two hours of sleep a night weren’t going to be sufficient. Little did he know Harry hadn’t been sleeping properly since fifth year, but she went anyway. For a little while.
Her and the therapist began unpacking some heavy stuff like anger issues, depression, anxiety, feelings of worthlessness. Insomnia, PTSD from losing her parents and her early life with her relatives the Dursley’s until Sirius Black’s release in 1993. That was only the beginning of the hot mess that was Harry Potter. She stopped seeing the therapist a few months into therapy; too afraid to confront current messy feelings. She knew it wasn’t the right choice, but she wasn’t ready.
The bookshop was closed, but Harry sat on the ledge of the window. Draco had been the one Harry confided in during the last few years of school. She was going through her own stuff that she didn’t tell Harry, but she did share that she didn’t want to be someones trophy house wife which was expected of her. She left out the part about wanting to be a teacher though.
Sometimes they’d talk and sometimes they’d get into nasty fights. She was the ice to Harry’s burning fire.
Harry told some of his feelings to Hermione and she tried to share with Ron. Hermione was always supportive and tried to convince Harry to seek out help. But she was always too stubborn to listen.
Ron had a harder time understanding, but Harry didn’t blame him. She tried really hard to cover it all up. Only breaking that cover when Malfoy was around because it was just easier to be a mess around Malfoy mainly because if she got mad at Malfoy she didn’t feel bad afterwards. Well… not that bad.
Harry sighed. Going back to Hogwarts would be good. She missed Hawthorne, but Hogwarts had always been home. Even now five years later it still felt like she was finally going home.
She just had to be professional now. No shenanigans and running around being a piece of shit. No sneaking around or breaking the rules… Harry snorted. She might be staff now, but Hogwarts always begged mischief of her. Maybe she could ruffle Malfoy’s feathers or something for old times sake. Booby trap her office of something.
Harry smiled, getting up and walking back towards the Leaky. She was sure she could think of some ways to stay entertained at Hogwarts. Being staff had to have its advantages.
Going home though, she hadn’t felt that happy in a long time.
Except for the joy bothering Malfoy each day brought her.