Work Text
Waverly knew that it was a bad idea for Nicole to stay home drinking with Wynonna but she let it happen anyway. Hoping that Nicole wouldn’t get too drunk with Wynonna. She had to go and help Dolls with a case while Nicole and Wynonna stayed at the homestead drinking or really, Wynonna drinking while Nicole made something for them to eat. She hoped.
She doesn’t want a repeat of when Wynonna took Nicole to a strip club and got her drunk and when she finally found them Nicole couldn’t walk straight. No pun intended. Though she was angry at Nicole and Wynonna for the reason that she was at the strip club, she couldn't deny that Nicole was the cutest thing when drunk.
She still remembers Nicole in the car and how she fell asleep asking her if she was single. To which Waverly replied that she was dating her and Nicole had the biggest grin on her face before falling asleep with her head on the window.
She shakes her head to get her head out of the memory. She pulls out her phone to call Nicole. The phone rings once before getting picked up.
Hey, Waves. What's up?
Nicole says over the phone.
“Nicole. Please do not get too drunk. Eat food okay. And keep an eye on Wynonna.” Waverly says over the phone. She just got into the department.
I will be fine baby. I’m making my famous wings now so we can eat something. Wynonna is sitting down downing down whiskey. We'll be fine.
I love you heaps, Waves. I'll see you when you get home.
Nicole replies.
"Okay. I love you too. Stay safe." Waverly says before disconnecting the call and heading to where BBD office is and where Dolls is waiting for her. Hopefully with some dinner or a cup of coffee.
********
It was late when Waverly finally finished gathering and collecting everything that Dolls needed for the morning raid. When she checked her phone she sees that she got 2 messages from Wynonna and a missed call from Nicole. She checks the time that they were sent and Wynonna's messages were sent around elevenish while Nicole's call came around one am when she was probably in the archives in the basement searching for information about the revenants that Wynonna saw were there.
She locks her phone again and walks to her car promising to watch the videos when she gets into the car because since it's from Wynonna it could be anything really.
The streets are silent. The only lights that are one are the ones of the Police workers working the graveyard shift.
Waverly gets into her jeep and unlocks her phone. She first opens the message from Wynonna.
Wynonna:
ypu sdhould estvh tis cudeo of tnicole talkiung to a chiecjen nigget
Wynonna:
Nicole_talking_to_a_chicken_nugget.mp4
Waverly laughs at Wynonna's attempt at texting while drunk. She can make out what Wynonna is trying to tell her. She clicks on the video file.
She is greeted by the smiling face of Nicole who is obviously drunk. Her words are slurred and she can see empty beer and whiskey bottles in the background.
Whad do ya think of me now, chicken nugget, huh. I'm gonna eat you up. Waverly can hear Wynonna laughing in the background while Nicole has an intense staring match with the chicken nugget.
Waverly is laughing herself. She's glad that Wynonna sent her this because this is priceless.
Hmm. Not so tough are you now. You tried to, uh, beat me at my own game but nu-huh. I'm gonna eat ya up. Serves ya right for being so hard to find. Hmm, you look so tasty. I can't wait to eat you right up.
Waverly notes that Nicole's accent is thicker when she is drunk.
Wynonna hasn't stopped laughing. Nicole is looking wistfully at the chicken nugget like she is having an argument about eating it.
But you have a family and a wife. She tilts her head sideways and throws her hands up in surrender. Fine, I'm sorry. A husband. I don't judge in this house. I'm a big old lesbian myself. I have an amazing girlfriend but she isn't here right now. Wait, Wynonna did Waverly leave me again? Where is Waverly? I want to tell her that I love her.
Waverly is laughing. Nicole in her opinion is the cutest thing drunk. She is arguing with a chicken nugget about gender and sexuality. Could Nicole be any cuter? Waverly doesn't think so.
I'm sorry but I'm hungry and I need food for me. Rest in peace chicky. I will miss you. May you rest in a breadcrumb coated heaven with your family and your husband. Nicole salutes at the chicken nugget which she had named Chicky. Waverly was dead wrong when she thought that Nicole could get any cuter.
Nicole sits at the table with a sad look on her face. I just ate Chicky. He had a family and I just ate him without a second thought. I am a monster. I don't deserve Waverly. I killed him, I just killed an innocent man with a family to look after. What am I going to tell them? Oh, no. I am a monster, Wynonna.
Tears start to well in Nicole's eyes before Nicole walks off Camera and the video stops.
Waverly is left in the car, trying not to cry because that video was the funniest thing that she had ever watched. She tries to compose herself but she can't.
After a few moments, she can finally smile without laughing her head off. She goes to see what Nicole said on her voicemail.
Waverly.
Nicole starts. Waverly can hear things crashing to the ground. She can also hear an inaudible
I'm sorry
.
What did I call you about? Umm. What a second. Please don't hang up. It will come to me in a- I remember! I can't get my pants off. They won't work. I tried asking them but they won't come off. Can you please come and help me? Wynonna keeps laughing at me. It's not funny. The pants don't want me to leave them. They said if I take them off that I will never be able to find them again.
Nicole says the last in a whisper as if the pants were real and could listen in on their conversation.
They are my favourite pair, Waverly. They make my butt look really, really, really top shelf. I don't know what to do and since you’re so smart you could help me out of them and so pretty. Did you know that you are the most prettiest woman I've ever seen? I like your eyes and I like kissing you. When I kiss you it tastes like sugar and I know it's bad for my health but you're like a drug and I'm addicted to you.
Waverly is speechless. Even drunk Nicole still is sappy and adorable.
Nighty night, Waverly. I love you so, so, so, so, so, so much and like, can I marry you? Like tomorrow because I know that you are the one that I wanna grow old with. I think like this when I'm not drunk as well and I wanna propose to you but I don't have a ring yet but I wanna do it as soon as possible cause I'm so in love with you Waverly Earp so will you do the honours of making me the happiest woman alive and marry me and if you say yes we will have the biggest and gayest wedding that anyone has ever seen. I love you, cutie.
The call ends there. Waverly is beyond surprise that Nicole asked to marry her through her voicemail. It was adorable and she loves Nicole even more because of it. Though if she ends up actually remembering that she proposed to her and brings it up tomorrow, she will decline the proposal because Nicole was very drunk.
She locks her phone and makes her way to the homestead where Wynonna and Nicole are probably passed out in their room sleeping. She is dead tired so she drives home with a dream of when Nicole becomes her wife and they have their own house and children to go home to.
When she gets home she quickly closes and locks the door and makes her way to her room where she knows Nicole would be sleeping. She quickly and quietly gets changed and slips into the bed. She can hear Nicole murmur something about how her pants were bad and that they should be working together and not against each other. That if they did that again Nicole would wash them in the tumble dryer.
Waverly shakes her head in amusement. "Nighty night, Nicky. I love you."