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Infinite black swam around them, stretched in all directions, so that obscurity alone could have become the entirety of the world.
 
The moon's glint was a fainter version of Phos's pearl eye, and it swirled around them, slicing through the dark better than the brightest stars, caressing everything, from Cinnabar's poison to their powdered cheeks... but Cinnabar reflected it red, and even with Lapis's heightened perception, Phos couldn't see any carmine waver.
 
The moon and Phos's bright eye could touch everything they could see, yet, still, the immense darkness almost swallowed them, and the sea drowned their voices. Perhaps they should have felt small, a tiny pebble in the landscape, but they didn't.  
 
What made Phos grasp for an edge was Cinnabar themselves. They did not waver; they who were so fragile, easier to shatter than their scrap of an old self had been, would not break to their arguments. Cinnabar was a logical person, Phos knew.
 
Everything Phos had said made sense. They'd explained everything they knew, what Phos had told no one at all, not even Cairngorm. They'd told Cinnabar who Sensei truly was- something other, something human-made that didn't need them, that got them into so much suffering in the first place. Being near Sensei was dangerous.
 
So many people had been lost because of Sensei, so why was Cinnabar still taking Sensei's side, and not Phos's?
 
They ran out of arguments. Cinnabar was not going to hear what they were saying, they weren't going to listen... Then what?
 
"The moon isn't even that bad! I've seen it!"
 
Phos felt something clutching at their insides that wasn't gold- the moon, on Cinnabar, was all red, red, red. It was ridiculous. How could Cinnabar push them so far in their arguments that they had to resort to such a childish thought? How could Cinnabar hear all that they'd said, and still choose not to listen to reason?
 
Cinnabar, then, deigned look at Phos. They had had their back turned all along, refusing to listen.  
 
For an instant, Phos hoped that they had been heard. Cinnabar would come along to the moon with them.
 
Finally, they were going to cooperate, they were going to work together. They were going to be the greatest- the most fragile gems, and yet.
 
With Cinnabar, Phos was sure they could do anything, anything at all.
 
They would help the Lunarians and rid their world of all its sadness. They would fix everyone who had ever been taken to the moon, Goshenite and Morganite could meet their elder sibling, they could let Padparadscha stay awake as everyone else, give Ghost back to Cairngorm. Phos would be able to apologize to Antarc and Ghost, finally. All the gems they had never gotten to know- they could be back, too, it would be wonderful. Once Sensei got back to work, everything would be alright. They wouldn't have to fight anymore. If only Cinnabar came along, then...
 
If they could just get Cinnabar on their side, Phos was sure everything would work out, because Cinnabar had what Phos lacked-
 
"Someone like you,” Cinnabar said,“who is beloved even on the moon... couldn't understand what it feels like to be lonely."
 
No... No. Phos knew what it was like to be lonely! For the longest time, they could barely remember it now, but, for the longest time, everyone had dismissed them as the pathetic scrap they were. Even after Phos became strong, nothing good ever happened... and now... they kept so many secrets from everyone. It was so hard to do everything alone. They had to bury so many things, deep into themselves. It was lonesome. Phos knew lonely!
 
What were they doing wrong?
 
They wanted to protest, to tell them they knew what solitude was like, but their mouth stayed shut. Something in Cinnabar's tone was a threat to them, and going down that path- like every word Cinnabar and Phos had ever exchanged, like every confrontation, it would crack their world anew.
 
They could not afford to waver now, just like Cinnabar's resolve just wouldn't break. They could not betray the Lunarians now, not after going so far. So many people relied on them. The one they needed to betray... was Sensei. Not Cicada and the Prince, not the gems that had taken their decision in Phos' favor, not...
 
...not Cinnabar.  
 
They had to try... one last time. They didn't know why Cinnabar wouldn't play along- but they had to try, to give everything they had.
 
"I'll be back on the moon before dawn," Phos said, giving away the last detail that could let Cinnabar ruin their plans, as if they hadn't said enough incriminating things already. If Cinnabar bolted to Sensei now, they would be able to stop everyone from leaving, from going to the moon. Phos didn't care. They knew Cinnabar wouldn't tell anyone, just like they hadn't told anyone when they left for the moon the first time. They just had to come to the moon with them. They had even wanted to, once. Why couldn't Phos convince them?
 
Phos dropped the last thing they had, the trump card they hadn't wanted to use up until now…
 
Hope.  
 
"On the moon we could even suppress your poison." Their expression betrayed nothing, their voice stood as an equal to itself. "Still, you won't?"
 
The wind hid Cinnabar's face from view, and Phos couldn't see their eyes when they answered.
 
"Still, I won't."
 
Phos exhaled.
 
They was nothing they could say to convince them, then. That revelation settled in their gut like a confused animal, half-rotten already; but still.
 
What happened? Had they made a mistake? In another world, would they have been able to convince Cinnabar? If they had made different choices? No, it wouldn't serve them to ponder over it. That was Lapis thinking, and overthinking wouldn't ground them in the present. This was an instant already past and Phos had to move on.
 
It was too late.

It was too late, but... could they really leave without another word? Something unknown boiled, sizzling slowly since Cinnabar had started refusing to listen, and they repressed it, like everything else. They needed a clear mind. They couldn't be the dolt Phos again, the one ruled by their fickle emotions, they could only pretend to be.
 
And yet. They felt betrayed.
 
Betrayal- what they were about to do. What a foolish, childish Phos thought. Cinnabar wasn't betraying them. When had they ever been on their side? They called Phos foolish from the beginning, from the very day they met, and they were right. Phos was the one who tied themselves to Cinnabar so much, to the extent that no amount of lost limbs would completely erase them from their mind. Even after a hundred years; they remembered, because Cinnabar was the first who relied on Phos for anything.
 
A promise, foolish like they had been when they made it... that was all one-sided, wasn't it? If it had been anybody else, Cinnabar would have rejected the offer to the moon all the same. Phos wasn't special to Cinnabar. Why had they thought that?
 
Because Cinnabar told them they wanted to go to the moon?
 
If Phos wasn't special when they did the same... why had they ever thought they were special for Cinnabar?  
 
"If," Phos said without even looking at Cinnabar, "If anyone else asked you to come to the moon with them, you would still refuse, wouldn't you? Do you love Sensei that much after all?"
 
They already knew the answer. Why had they asked such a foolish...
 
"I would go to the moon with them."
 
Phos's head snapped to Cinnabar. Their eyes met, unwavering red and eyes that were phosphophyllite no longer, eyes that weren't the ones Cinnabar had once saved.
 
"If it was anyone else other than you, I would go," Cinnabar repeated.
 
At first, Phos couldn't utter a single word. The betrayal stung deeply into their core, shaking buried anger and frustration awake. Thick, boiling gold threatened to leak, demanding vengeance.
 
Phos almost broke right there and then, but they managed, in an effort more difficult that they could have ever imagined, to control themselves.
 
"Why?"
 
They spoke the word like a whisper, unable to look at the traitor who had just admitted to hating them enough to throw away their chance at happiness with everyone else.
 
"Because, I..." Cinnabar choked, and in spite of the anger, Phos looked at them- they were leaking poison from their mouth and eyes. It looked painful. Phos knew what it was like to choke on their malleable parts.
 
"Because... it was you..." Cinnabar hesitated, wiping their mouth fruitlessly. "Because you were the one who told me I shouldn't go."
 
Was... was that all?
 
That was pathetic! Phos wanted to laugh. Gold was leaking from their eyes now, running down their cheeks without sound. Just because they told Cinnabar not to go to the moon a century ago, they would choose to betray them now?
 
Were the scrap's words more important that the strong, rational Phos of this night?
 
Cinnabar buried their face into their hands.They continued, silver trailing down their face still. "You don't understand," they said, almost low enough to be lost to the wind. "You don't understand anything at all."
 
"Indeed. I don't understand," Phos replied, voice cold. They were doing their best not to crack, not to show any emotion at all- the gold leaking from their eyes the only proof that they weren't unmoved. "I don't understand what you want. Please tell me."
 
Cinnabar looked at them silently. Hesitating. This was so hard, so hard. Phos was so confused. So angry. Even though they did their best to repress it, it was growing harder by the second not to snap.
 
“I don’t want you to go away…”
 
Phos blinked. Stared at the red gem in front of them. They were hiding their expression behind their hair, but silvery substance dripping from their chin still.
 
“What I want…” Harsh cough from Cinnabar, spraying poison in the air. “One thing…” Cinnabar rubbed their arms uneasily, visibly in pain, and avoiding Phos’s eyes. They coughed some more. “I…”
 
Phos waited.
 
“You…”
 
“Is it so hard to say?” Phos asked, and regretted it immediately. Cinnabar’s pained expression faded into view, and it hardened into a glare. Their fists tightened.
 
“Don’t go to the moon.”
 
Phos blinked again. They honestly thought they hadn’t heard correctly, but that expression- that expression didn’t change. Resolve, unbreakable, again. This, only now, only against this Phos.
 
Why?
 
“You were fine with it last time. I’ve proven I can, and I've proven it is possible to come back, now.” They wiped some gold, but it kept flowing on their stoic cheeks. “You don’t make any sense.”
 
“I know.” Cinnabar breathed, head lowered. Their coughing had finally receded. Poison puddled around them, killing the grass.
 
Phos tried to steady their fists, to no avail. They couldn’t understand what Cinnabar wanted at all. They thought they knew- Cinnabar wanted to quit being alone and hurting people by being there, right? Wasn’t the moon a valid way to achieve that? Had Cinnabar decided that Sensei was worthy of their trust after all, worthier than Phos, in the years they hadn’t seen each other? Was their plan still not good enough? Was Cinnabar put off by a flaw Phos couldn’t see?
 
What were they missing?
 
No, they should just leave. This was a waste of time. “I’ll see you around,” they said, because if they stayed around they might do something they would regret. They had things to do before dawn. Gems to guide. A future to save… with or without Cinnabar.
 
"Please don't go to the moon."
 
This time, Phos had heard Cinnabar's voice. Words that rang familiar- like they heard these exact sounds faintly before, without recognizing the words.
 
"Why not? I've already explained to you all the great things we can do there." This argument -when had it become an argument?- had no end to it. As if Cinnabar and Phos were speaking entirely different tongues, and could only mirror each other.   
 
"I won't be destroyed by the moon. I have already proven it. I won't say this plan is foolproof, but if you won't help me and choose sensei's side instead, then I have no business staying here, do I?"
 
Poison rose from the puddle around Cinnabar. Phos, who had already taken a couple steps, slowed to a halt, curious about what Cinnabar was going to do. This was an odd change.
 
Cinnabar stretched their arms outwards, and, following the movement, the poison formed a wall between the two gems and the school, which had been faintly visible behind Cinnabar. Phos was somewhat surprised, but they didn't let it show. The gold on their cheeks was slowing to a trickle as it became clear that Cinnabar wouldn't listen. Their emotions were carefully smothered, slowed to dull pain from sheer determination, because Phos needed courage.
 
“You’re a reckless fool.” Cinnabar’s voice didn’t sound angry, or judgemental. If Phos had to take a guess, it was afraid- was Cinnabar afraid of them? Had Phos changed this much?
 
Phos knew they had many cracks inside. The crack that hurt then- it was a special kind of crack. It tingled when Phos thought of Cinnabar. It helped them remember. It was a hidden crack, and they hadn't thought anything of it before, until now, when anger smothered soft warmth into boiling rage that they couldn't show. Now the crack was spreading inside of them, threatening to break them apart.
 
“Isn’t everyone more important than me? You think I don’t know that?” Phos asked, their voice rough. “It’s okay if I’m shattered in the process. That’s why I’m going to the moon.”
 
Cinnabar’s poison drew a circle in the grass, englobing the both of them into a prison of toxic liquid. Phos advanced onto Cinnabar, who took a step back towards the liquid wall.
 
“I’m going to the moon for everyone, not for myself!”
 
Cinnabar glared at them, back against a literal wall of their own doing. They said nothing, reflecting Phos in their eyes instead, tainted red. Phos hated the image they saw. They didn’t want to see it.
 
“Does the end justify the means?” Cinnabar asked, and Phos saw their reflected eyes widen in Cinnabar’s own, saw the tears cracking their face apart, the trails of gold running along their eyes. They saw Lapis and the Moon, they saw Grief in the gold marks, and there was no Phosphophyllite.
 
They didn’t want to be reminded of everything they lost. They wanted to think of all the good things they might gain or recover instead. Looking backwards only reminded them of the fool they had been.
 
They wanted the image to disappear!
 
Without thinking, Phos grabbed Cinnabar and shoved them away. Cinnabar yelped. The poison flopped to the ground, suddenly overconscious of its weight.
 
Cinnabar shattered in a thousand red-tinted pieces of moonlight.
 
“No…”
 
Phos slapped their hands onto their mouth. Their eyes widened in horror, they took in the disassembled remains of Cinnabar, and suddenly they remembered Antarc, who once fell like this, at the hands of the Lunarians, to

protect

them..
 
“So this is how far you’re willing to go?”
 
Cinnabar’s face was split around the forehead, where their head hit the ground, but they could still speak. Their arms and legs had broken in several places, and small shards sprinkled the rust-colored grass.
 
“You’ll take me to the moon in this shattered state, like they do?”
 
Phos wanted Cinnabar to stop talking.
 
“Do you want to be one of them?”
 
Phos wanted Cinnabar to just stop talking. Their head was ringing.
 
“I asked for it. I’m the one who wanted to go first, wasn’t I?”
 
Phos clutched at their ears, ready to tear them off their head. They didn’t want to hear.
 
“Cinnabar… please shut up.”
 
“I’m sorry.”
 
“Shut up.”
 
“What are you going to do to me, Phos?”
 
“Shut up!”
 
“I didn’t want to call you a liar.”
 
“Shut it! Shut up, shut up! You don’t know anything!”
 
“I don’t remember. I’ve shattered in a lot of pieces, didn’t I?”
 
Phos fell to their knees and screamed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Phos opened their eyes to a bright blue sky. It was tainted an unnatural green, like they were, once. They were lying down, arms and legs spread. They didn’t want to move at all. Maybe they could just stay like this, forever, staring at the sky. Their body was too heavy for them to move. It was like when they first picked up their alloy. They didn’t remember all of that. What they remembered was similar to what they were feeling now, though. They had nothing to do, so they indulged in the memory. What exactly was similar? The heaviness, yes. There was fear, ever present fear since then. There was guilt. There was… shame. There was shame. What were they ashamed of? Lapis entered their range of vision, crouched over Phos’s face. That confirmed that Phos was, in fact, dreaming. They didn’t remember what they were doing when they fell asleep. Lapis smiled, though they said nothing. “What’s going on, Lapis?” Lapis put a finger on their mouth, still grinning. Hush. Slowly, their head tilted to point at something out of Phos’s vision range. The finger over their lips cracked in perfect silence, and Phos’s eyes widened. The cracks spread to their arms, their shoulders, their neck and abdomen- and all at once they shattered into invisible pieces that rained into Phos, prickling their surface. Phos closed their eyes reflexively. When they opened them again, the sky was still the same color, but Lapis was gone. Their body didn’t feel any lighter, but they felt compelled to look at what Lapis pointed at. It must have been important. With unbelievable effort they lifted their torso to sit. Their head was ringing. They took in the scenery- it was a neutral plane, full of holes, meeting the teal sky very far away. The sea interrupted this odd sameness somewhere off the side… But Lapis hadn’t pointed towards the shell that broke the continuity of it the horizon. Lapis had showed them to a small, shattered form, lying down just like Phos did, but in a much worse state. Red. It was red- The name rushed all at once in Phos’s mind, escaping outside before they could think. “Cinnabar!” Cinnabar didn’t stir. Painfully, like they weighted heavier than an ice floe, no, a mountain- Phos crawled to Cinnabar’s side, careful not to crush any small shard. The scene reminded them of another dream. This time, this time they could do something. They plucked a shard from where it had fallen and clipped it to Cinnabar’s broken arm nearby- poison leaked to stick it permanently, and for once Phos was glad. They weren’t afraid of the poison themselves. They knew Cinnabar didn’t like it, though. They didn’t have anything else to stick the shards with if needed. That was why Phos was glad. The poison seemed to drink their golden fingers, but they couldn’t bring Cinnabar to Rutile, Cinnabar wouldn’t want to spread their poison too much, right? There was something calming in the act of building Cinnabar up again. Phos, in the back of their mind, knew this was a dream; but the repetitive, oddly soothing task encroached their judgement, and they just couldn’t bring themselves to believe they weren’t fixing anything at all. 
Click. Click. Click.
 They didn’t know how long they spent putting Cinnabar back together. It felt both very long and very short. They somehow knew exactly where everything went, though they didn’t know why or how. The mercury pricked their fingers, stole some of Phos into itself, but that was fine. Cinnabar was fragile enough that they could have cracked from Phos’s touch, but they didn’t. Phos was glad. They never wanted to hurt Cinnabar ever again. Phos’s eyes opened to a white ceiling. They felt lighter, the air was thinner; the lights were neons, not natural, not jellyfish. They were back on the moon. The gem lifted themselves off the bed they had been lying on. They expected some kind of explanation, but all the Prince said was “Ah, you’re already awake. Good.” Phos waited, but nothing came, so they threw their legs over the edge and took a tentative step. Their legs seemed operational. They waved their arms, finding them slightly lighter than they should be- but maybe it was just the difference of gravity on the moon. Phos suddenly remembered what position they had been in. Cinnabar! They fought with Cinnabar, and… they were supposed to take the gems on the moon. Had they already done that? How much time had passed? “Is it dawn already?” The Prince didn’t react much. He simply readjusted his glasses on his nose, and motioned Phos to sit back down, which they did. “If you are talking about the location you usually reside in, then yes, I am afraid it is. Your plan was to bring in your fellow gems here during the night, correct? It will be a little late for that.” They had… failed? No! They couldn’t have failed before their plan began. “Then why did you bring me here? I can just bring them tonight. There was no need for me to be on the moon!” The Prince’s face didn’t change. “We were afraid that you would be compromised, broken as you were, and having revealed your plan to an uncooperative individual. You are of no use to us if you are in pieces, Phosphophyllite.” Phos’s fists balled in their lap. “Just bring me back. If I’m gone for too long, they’ll be suspicious, and I really won’t be able to bring everyone here.” The Prince nodded. “You will depart in thirty minutes. I believe it would be wiser to hide the fact that you were here for a few hours.” He left. Tension also left Phos’s stance, who slouched on themselves. That had been close, but they could still salvage this. They smoothed the low part of their shirt reflexively. It was crumpled… There was a small, barely visible stain, too. A stain that evoked memories; memories of desperation, someone who was falling, someone who they tried to reach out to, but failed… Poison. There was a poison stain on their shirt? Cinnabar? Where was Cinnabar? They had been together before Phos passed out… in their dream, too. If Phos had been taken to the moon… had Cinnabar, too? “AECHMEA, WAIT!” Phos burst out of the room, running into the corridor, they almost tripped and crashed into the wall. They had to catch up to the Lunarian! “Please don’t use that name,” he snapped back. Good, he hadn’t gone far. “The gem that was with me. Cinnabar. Where are they? Did you leave them shattered on the hill?” The Prince stared deep into Phos’s eyes, eyes raised just above the rim of his glasses. “Of course not. They are here as well.” Phos stilled. “You… you didn’t turn them into dust, did you?” The Prince shook his head. “Obviously not. They are our guest, and will remain so as long as you do your part, Phosphophyllite.” Phos sighed, relieved. “Can I see them?” “They are still sleeping, and you are departing in… Twenty eight minutes.” “Ah…” Phos figured they shouldn’t insist, but... “At least tell me where they are.” Aechmea stared into space, and Phos didn’t move, waiting calmly. They were on the same side, for now. There should be nothing to fear. Aechmea would not risk losing Phos’s cooperation now… “You will find them where you usually sleep when you return with the rest of your companions.” Phos nodded and headed out.    “Phos!” Both Amethysts rushed towards them, perfectly synchronized, and almost crashed into them. Phos used their golden arms to brace themselves against the impact, but it was barely sufficient. They definitely felt lighter than usual. Well, maybe Aechmea had to scrape off what Cinnabar’s poison contaminated? Yellow followed at a slower pace, and behind them, Diamond. The sun was barely above the horizon, so they hadn’t been gone too long… “I didn’t see you until you took that vessel down,” Yellow said smoothly, smiling. They had probably guessed the reason they had been gone, but Yellow was on their side, right? “You didn’t come home last night, did you?” “Everyone was worried this morning,” Diamond added. “Sorry,” Phos laughed, fake as the pearl that was their eye, “I was with Cinnabar. We fell asleep.” Nothing but the truth. They weren’t lying to the other gems. Yellow nodded, still smiling. They knew, they knew Phos wasn’t saying everything, but that would be alright. Phos had gotten better at lying. “Everyone was worried,” one of the Amethysts piped in their ear. “We thought you were back on the moon,” the other one continued, loud in their other ear. Diamond pet Phos’s back carefully. “I’m glad you’re fine, Phos.” Yellow beckoned them. “You should tell Sensei you’re home. They were worried.” There was something like sadistic enjoyment in their smile, or perhaps it was Phos’s upset imagination. Sensei just said they were glad that they were alright. They didn’t even yell, something Phos was grateful for, although confused,  but then they remembered- Rutile admitted that they were never sure Phos would wake up when they broke. That must have been why Sensei was careful… They felt a pang of something, but discarded it. This plan was in everyone’s best interest. If they had to betray Sensei for the kidnappings to stop, then so be it. They were almost out of Sensei’s office, when a last word reached them. “Oh. Phosphophyllite, one last thing.” They smiled pleasantly. “Yes, Sensei?” “Rutile has told you me you remembered the moon had many gems that could be used to repair Padparadscha.” Phos froze. “You are both forbidden from returning to the moon to fetch them. It is too dangerous. Your return here was already a miracle. We do not want to tempt the Lunarians twice.” Phos smiled, sweet as they could muster, and nodded. “Of course, Sensei.”    Cinnabar’s eyes opened to a white ceiling. They felt light, but something was… off. The air was thinner; the lights blinded their night-accustomed eyes, and they didn’t look natural. They were not jellyfish either. Cinnabar tried to figure out where they were without moving. If they were being watched, they shouldn’t give away that they were awake… but they couldn’t use their poison to prode around, either. They might hurt something alive. The surface they were on gave under their weight, and it was quite soft. There were blankets over them too. Unfamiliar clothes. They were going to be stained. A bed? Why were they in a bed? Cinnabar tried to call up their last memory. They were… Phos. Phos had been there, and… Phos shattered them. There was something painful in their chest, twisting around like unsettled poison, wrecking metaphoric holes in their body... They wanted to make a sound, let out the pain, but they couldn't. Not now. It would give them away. What happened after that? They were whole, they could tell that much… who put them back together? They vaguely remembered hands… heavy hands. “I know you’re awake.” Cinnabar was startled by the voice, and twitched. So much for discretion. Giving up, they sat up on the bed. Uh, they hadn’t slept on such a comfortable thing in a long time. They rubbed their eyelids, still uncomfortable with the bright lights. Then it struck them. This was not Rutile’s voice, or any voice they had heard before. The one in front of them had a different build from what was most common for Cinnabar to see. Taller, broader. Pasty. Lunarian. They armed their poison, forming a half shield to cover their blind spots, though it moved slower than usual. Overall Cinnabar felt lighter, but there was something off with them, they weren’t sure what. Maybe the Lunarian did something to them? “Please calm down. I will not attack you.” Cinnabar narrowed their eyes, and slashed through their head, but it reformed in a heavy mist within seconds. “You may call me Prince. I understand that you do not trust me, but surely you do not want me to break this?” There was something round in between their forefingers. Something blue, shiny. This… Cinnabar remembered clearly that Phos came home with a different left eye. There weren’t  a lot of different things this could be. They let the mercury settle down. They didn’t want to risk ruining it. Maybe they could get this eye back… “Good. You are reasonable.” The Prince stood up without looking at them, and motioned them to follow. Cinnabar didn’t move. “Where’s Phos?” “On Earth. Your planet.” Phos… was safe. That was a relief. “So this really is the moon,” Cinnabar said more than asked. They had little doubts. It was quite ironic, really. All these years they spent wishing to be taken here, and now that they were… “Indeed, this is the moon.” The Prince beckoned them again, and with a sigh, Cinnabar followed, this time. “Do not think of yourself as a prisoner. As long as everything goes smoothly on your friend’s end, you will be free to come and go as you like. We have no personal vendetta against your species.” But we do, Cinnabar thought. They remained silent. They reached the outside. Everything was white, out of the palace’s bounds. Sparkling. Some Lunarians ogled Cinnabar, hushing excitedly among themselves, but the Prince paid them no mind. Cinnabar had to accelerate to keep up. The Prince didn’t speak much, only pointing out a few features of their surroundings, and Cinnabar didn’t ask. They soon reached a familiar tower. There wasn’t much more than a bed at the top, though it overlooked the entire Lunarian base. “I was planning to move you to this place if you didn’t wake up. I told your friend they could find you here. I would suggest that you write down a note to them if you leave.” Cinnabar sat on the bed, saying nothing. They hid their expression behind their hair, their fists balling onto the fabric, but they knew they were visibly upset. “Who fixed me? You?” The Prince stared at them. “No. Your friend did, though they did not seem to be aware of your status when we talked.” So, Phos had really been on the moon with them, but left Cinnabar behind. The unsettled feeling grew more violent in Cinnabar’s chest. They clawed at the fabric of the bed. “May your time here be pleasant,” the Prince said, and left without another word. Cinnabar hugged their knees, letting poison flow down their cheeks.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“The time has come. Quiet. The moon is where you will start to waver. Come to the hollow cape.”
 
Phos decided to take a stroll through the night. They still had time before they had to leave with the other gems. They had asked all of those they had a chance with already. They needed to think, all of them. Phos too…
 
Sensei had greatly compromised Rutile coming over to the moon, so they hadn’t asked yet. Maybe they just shouldn’t… but it was for Rutile to decide, not them. There didn’t seem to be a problem with the other gems, but no Rutile meant that Padparadscha would stay here, wouldn’t they?
 
Padparadscha...
 
They could still somewhat recall their last meeting with Padparadscha, even after losing their arms and their head. They weren’t too sure on the details, but they clearly remembered one thing…
 
Padparadscha didn’t want Rutile to keep working on them. So if they brought Padparadscha to the moon anway, not only would an additional gem be taken from Sensei, but Phos had no doubt Padparadscha’s wish would be realized. Everyone benefitted! Right? They hoped they were right.
 
It made them uncomfortable, though. Rutile would be mad, wouldn’t they? Unless…
 
“What are you doing, Phos?”
 
Rutile. Their feet brought them to the infirmary as they thought about it. The lights in the sky were gone, shattered into little pieces of stars. The moon had not risen yet.
 
“Oh,” they smiled, “Just walking around. I had trouble sleeping again.”
 
Rutile’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe I really should look into that eye. You’ve been sleeping normally since you woke up with Lapis’s head.” They stepped towards Phos, scalpel intent in their hand. Phos backed off quickly.
 
“I’m fine! I’m…” They needed a valid excuse before they ended up dissected. “I was planning to visit Cinnabar.”
 
Rutile blinked. “Oh. Haven’t you been doing a lot of that, lately? You slept over last night, and Goshe told me you weren’t in your bed a couple nights ago, either.” Something like amusement passed onto their face. “Are you enjoying night patrol?”
 
What an odd question. Had Phos been alone, or who they were a century ago, they would have been bewildered by this question. They had been trying to find something funnier for Cinnabar, after all. The idea that

they

would enjoy this useless job of all things was absurd. Didn’t Cinnabar themselves hate it?
 
“Not really,” they replied evasively. They wanted to leave, but now they had an idea. They needed to stay and edge the conversation away from themselves. There might be a way to sway Rutile still, and there would be not one but two more gems on the moon. The more gems were on the moon, the more chances there were for the plan to work. Phos didn’t know what they would do if they failed entirely. Wouldn’t Aechmea turn them all to dust, then?
 
“I see.” Phos opened their mouth to change the subject, but Rutile’s next sentence caught them off guard, slicing them open better than a chisel. “It’s the company, then?”
 
Phos’s mouth stayed open, the blue interior glinting softly off the light of the jellyfish. They refocused on the situation. “Um, what?”
 
Rutile stared like they were really stupid, stirring up unwanted memories. “Cinnabar’s company, Phos. Isn’t that why you’ve been returning to them every night?”
 
Cinnabar’s… company? No, not really. While they were finally on the moon now, and therefore would definitely remain within Phos’s company, it was by neither of their doing. Cinnabar was rude and never listened to them! They refused to listen even when Phos spent three nights talking to them, they called them a fool, accused them of…
 
“Phos?”
 
Ah, they’d fallen to Lapis’s internal rants again. Phos internally chastised themselves. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
 
Cinnabar was rude but they were smart, wise, and prudent. Phos respected them, admired this gem that was so much better than they were, even though more fragile. Phos valued their input, and was dejected to see them disagreeing on the issue of Sensei. Saying they appreciated their company was perhaps a bit much, if Phos based themselves only on these criterias, but… it wasn’t that Phos disliked them, not at all. They just... hadn’t really actually reflected on their feelings, focused as they were on their goals…  
 
Whatever. They could think about this later.
 
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you, Rutile. I remembered,” Phos continued, “something important.”
 
Rutile’s eyebrows shot up. Phos smiled the most charming smile they could muster. “Let’s sit down.”
 
Rutile dropped onto the window of the infirmary. Phos followed, glancing at the night sky. The world seemed immense, outside, but so dark. Elegantly, they pressed their back against the wall and crossed their legs, still smiling.
 
They remembered the day Padparadscha woke up, over a hundred years ago. They were chatting with Rutile, they didn’t remember what about, as they worked. Phos was standing in the sun while Rutile operated Padparadscha, who finally woke up after over two hundred years… and then Padparadscha and Phos went out for a walk. They recalled the following conversation with a little more detail…  
 
“It’s not about the moon,” they warned, and curiously, Rutile relaxed. “I thought it might be important to you, though. It’s about Padparadscha. Something they told me a hundred years ago.”
 
Rutile’s back suddenly straightened, and their eyes widened. Padparadscha was a special word to Rutile. They had their attention. Now Phos had to phrase it right…
 
But in the next second, Rutile’s expression closed off. “I thought you only talked about the weather then.” They didn’t seem

surprised

. Just… disappointed.
 
Was that the excuse they gave then? The holes in their memory made Phos unsure of such details, but it was probably the case. “We did talk about the weather. They thought it was very… nice.”
 
Phos felt increasingly uncomfortable with the weight of Rutile’s eyes watching them. They felt like they were in the dream again, drowning under their own weight.
 
They were probably foregoing Padparadscha’s advice, but they hoped that if it solved the situation altogether they would forgive Phos.
 
“It’s just that I remembered they told me something, and I thought we should do what Padparadscha wants, right?” they kept on smiling even if it was fake, more fake that it had ever been before. This was a terrible idea, but they couldn’t back out of anything.
 
Rutile nodded, guarded.
 
“They told me they didn’t want to burden you anymore.” There was a second of absolute stillness, and the the breeze flew by, spreading a disturbance into the air between them. Rutile’s locks wavered, and there was an audible crack.
 
It was the turn of Phos’s eyes to widen as tears opened between Rutile’s eyes. A small piece of them broke off, clattering between them. Neither of them moved. The uncomfortable weight in Phos’s chest screamed, but they were too shocked to express it. Instead they kept talking, their tongue on autopilot.
 
“I mean, on the moon we could find the materials to fix them! Maybe there’s even corundum

exactly

like Padparadscha.” Phos heard another crack, oh no. Oh no, no, no. “I know you’re concerned about nobody being there to fix the others if you go, but... ” Another crack. This was… not working. At all.
 
Phos didn’t see it coming.
 
One moment they were sitting there, regretting their decision to open their mouth; the next their jaw was split by a rutilant fist. The force sent Phos backwards, but since they were already leaning on a pillar, they slid into the grass instead.
 
Their new head was harder than their old one had been, but it was still only around five and a half in hardness, and Rutile reached six. If Rutile hit them, even cracked, Phos would be the one to suffer.
 
“How dare you,” Rutile hissed. Phos held their jaw with one hand, sticking it in place with gold alloy. It was a rough repair but it would hold for now.
 
“How dare you try to use Padparadscha against me!”
 
Rutile was enraged. Phos crawled into the grass proper and stood, a little shaken. That was… not good. Phos didn’t want to fight Rutile, but they couldn’t get away with “I’m sorry”. They were too heavy to run away, too.
 
They might have a fighting chance, however.
 
Phos could immobilize Rutile with their gold arms! Yes. Until Rutile calmed down…
 
The older gem stomped towards Phos. Their only weapons were a scalpel and their fists. Phos only had their alloy, they left Aechmea’s weapon in their room.
 
“I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve, Lapis,” and Phos’s flinched, because

they were Phos not Lapis, was Rutile this disturbed?

Had Rutile forgotten their identity? “But I can’t let you do it. I won’t let you take Padparadscha to the moon. I’m going to take you apart

right now

and you won’t lure anyone to their doom. I know you thought I would be a weak link...”
 
Phos backtracked away from the school, and Rutile followed at the same pace. Their fists were shaking. “But… how dare you. This ceases now. I thought so when you came back with this eye… you’re one of them now, aren’t you? You’re on the moon’s side.”
 
“No!” Phos protested weakly, because it wasn’t true! They were doing everything for the good of everyone! They just…
 
They should be fighting back against Rutile’s threats, acting on their decision to immobilize them, but… they felt something crawling on their back, demanding fear and not anger.
 
“I only wanted the truth of the moon, Rutile,” they pleaded, their expression off, still faked when they willed it sincere. Their voice rang wrong. They were hurting.
 
Something hit the back of their foot, and they tripped backwards into the grass. They were only paces away from the school, but it was close to where they had threefold patrolled with Cinnabar.
 
But Cinnabar wasn’t there to save them. They were on the moon, waiting…
 
Phos was scared. They hadn’t been this scared in a while. On the moon they hadn’t been scared, they’d been mad, so very mad, and their anger cooled into determination, not fear. It must have been a hundred years since they’d been this terrified. It was unpleasant.
 
Reflexively they squeezed their eyes shut while Rutile loomed over them. This too was going to be unpleasant. What was going to happen to Cinnabar if they stayed alone on the moon?
 
There was a very loud cracking sound, and Phos opened their eyes. Rutile’s head rolled onto the grass, cleaved. With a small delay their body collapsed as well. Phos froze, unable to process the still body that was threatening them a second ago. A looming shadow shielded them from the school.
 
Behind Rutile they finally recognized Cicada. Phos breathed, relieved, but the tug in their chest had never been so uncomfortable. Cicada gestured to them, likely worried. Ah. of course, he couldn't speak. Phos smiled something they hoped reassuring.
 
“I’m fine, don’t worry! They didn’t like the idea of going to the moon, that’s all.”
 
Cicada’s head tilted, questioning. He reached for the head and propped the unmoving body onto his shoulder.
 
“Ah, right. We can’t leave this in the grass…”
 
Cicada stepped towards the school, and Phos rushed to stop him. “Don’t make noise or you’ll wake someone!”
 
Cicada stilled. Phos sighed. “I wanted to take Padparadscha in the box here, but Rutile got mad at the cute me…” They were still shaken by the sheer rage that cracked Rutile open, but they couldn’t let it show. “I still have an errand to fulfill, I’ll see you at the Hollow Cape! Thanks for the help. Don’t wake anyone up!”
 
They put a finger to their lips. They rushed back to the school, and waved happily, or as happily as they could muster since they took on what felt like the weight of the entire world onto their shoulders.
 
“I need to wake some someone up,” they whispered, and took the direction of Cairngorm’s room.
  Phos dragged off their sleepy partner with more hurry than they would’ve liked, but they were late. The sky was faintly lighting up, and with the sun, the other gems would rise as well. 
“I don’t like this,” Cairngorm grumbled, but they let

Lapis

drag them out. Phos, they wouldn’t hesitate to destroy as thoroughly as Rutile had tried; but Lapis? They could not resist Lapis, and it was their downfall. It hurt, too, but not as much as Rutile’s reaction had. Phos thought Cairngorm liked Phos for Phos, a little bit, at least.
 
Rutile had called them Lapis. Cairngorm hadn’t called them that since…
 
“You’re my partner.” Phos sang, unwilling to let any anxiety show. “You don’t get to decide.”
 
Cairngorm kept complaining under their breath, but they didn’t let go of Phos, nor did they try to resist them. They were going to stay.
 
“We’re here! Sorry for the wait.”
 
They looked over the five gems assembled. Benitoite. Alexandrite, with bandaged eyes. Dia. Yellow. Amethyst 33.
 
Behind them, Cairngorm. Ahead, they could see Cicada inside the ship already; setting a sizable box down.
 
...Padparadscha.
 
The gems were hushing between themselves until then; to Phos’s arrival they fell silent.
 
“What’s going on?”
 
...except Alexi, who was blindfolded, and had no idea. Dia whispered something to them and they nodded.
 
“What happened to your head?” Benitoite asked. Cairngorm’s sleepy eyes snapped at their face, suddenly alert, finally noticing the golden crack.
 
“I’m fine! Don’t worry about it.” No need to mention Rutile. It would only increase the chances that their plan would fail, and they would have done all this for nothing.

“Let’s go,” Phos asserted, and they all stepped inside. Benitoite guided Alexi, warning them about a step; they bumped into it anyway and crashed into Cicada.
 
Thankfully, the giant was soft and gentle, and Alexi didn’t shatter; unfortunately, they froze, overly conscious of the nature of what cushioned their fall.  
 
Everyone held their breath, though Cicada had significantly more training to that. Alex’s hair didn’t turn red beyond the evry edges. Phos exhaled, relieved. Their eyes fell on Padparadscha’s box.
 
They thought back to Rutile.
 
“This is your chance to back out...”
 
The assembled gems all stared. “...except Cairngorm,” Phos amended aloud.
 
“Wait, why am I the only one forced into this?”
 
“That’s because you’re my partner,” Phos answered easily.

You can’t leave me; please.

Now that they thought of it, Padparadscha was being forced into this too… but it didn’t count, because they’d expressed their wish to quit burdening Rutile. They might not approve of the means once they woke up, but they were essentially having their wish granted. This

was

what they wanted, wasn’t it?
 
Ah, wait, Cinnabar had had no choice, either. The burden strangling Phos’s limbs kept growing heavier and heavier.
 
“That’s rich, coming from someone who was either sleeping or gone for most of the time!”
 
Phos shrugged off Cairngorm’s complaining in favor of the mention of their name. They recognized Diamond’s gentle inflexions. “It’s all right,” Dia continued.
 
Yellow nodded along. “We’re not doing this just for you.”
 
“We’re doing this for ourselves,” Amethyst continued with a wide eyed stare that would have chilled the old Phos to their core. The rest of them mumbled their agreement.
 
Phos tried to smile, and they penetrated the ship. A curtain of black surrounded them. Cairngorm seemed to be nervous, echoing the anticipation writhing inside of Phos.
 
The last thing they could clearly see before all cut to black was Yellow, crouching over Padparadscha.
 
They remained in tense silence for a while, until Phos propped their back against Cicada’s fluff. The only light was Phos’s eye, and by looking at Diamond they realized that one was staring at Cicada.
 
“You can touch him if you want. It’s fluffy.”
 
Diamond jumped. “Ah, I’ve never actually touched a Lunarian before. I was out the whole time, a hundred years ago, remember?”
 
Phos hummed. This would break the ice. “Cicada looks scary, but he is a good person.”
 
Diamond reached out, their mouth forming a little o when their hand sunk into the fluff. Benitoite stared, not daring to touch yet. “This feels a bit surreal,” Amethyst noted.
 
Phos smiled.
 
“You sure are chummy with them,” Cairngorm grumbled sleepily. Maybe they should drop them onto Cicada. Phos was certain that Cairngorm would fall right back asleep from fluffiness.
 
“Phos.” Yellow looked up at them with knitted brows. “Why did you bring Padparadscha with us?”
 
Phos paused. “I don’t remember their exact words, but…”
 
“

I wanted to make it easier on Rutile.

”
 
It hadn’t made anything easier. Nothing at all. Cicada had brought them, though, and they had neither will nor time to reconsider. “That’s what they told me. Right, Padparadscha?”
 
Yellow’s fist clenched over the box. “Uh… I wouldn’t know…” They leaned over their old friend. “...but they probably

would

say that.”
 
Diamond’s voice rang next, high and clear. “Cicada, can I take a look outside?”
 
The giant patted the central pillar, and a portion of the wall cracked open. The possibility that they would jump off crossed Phos’s mind, but they discarded it.
 
Diamond was the least likely to back off, out of all of them.
 
Phos caught a glimpse of the outside. Overwhelming darkness, a faraway moon, and the rapidly shrinking Hollow Cape. It was dizzying. They were so high up already.
 
Phos thought they glimpsed small waves of black spotting the last grass they would see in a while.
 
...that shape… Bortz? They had barely made it before other gems caught up. “Dia, right now…”
 
“It’s fine,” Dia replied, tone suddenly cold. They continued much lower, low enough that only Phos could hear clearly.
 
“Even from far away, they stand out.”
 
Phos kept staring at the grass, until the curtain closed again, but they caught no other glint of their fellow gems. They waited, falling back into silence. Phos’s mind should have been full of thoughts, but they were already mentally exhausted.
 
They soon heard a loud

clang.

They were already on the moon?
 
Phos rose up. “That was fast,” they noted, to the confusion of their companions. Bright light suddenly erupted into the enclosed space; the scent of herbs softened the air as petals filled it.
 
Phos had no idea how the Lunarians did that, but they were hardly surprised by any of their feats, by now. They climbed out, and were greeted by Aechmea. The Prince. Their enemy. Their ally.
 
Lunarian.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Hello again,” Aechmea said. “And we’re so glad to see you, dear gems. We welcome you.”
 
Cicada quickly set Padparadscha to the floor, with less care than Phos would have liked, before returning into the ship. They weren’t happy to be back on the moon, but it felt familiar enough that the bicolor expanses didn’t make them as uncomfortable as it did the rest of their companions. Everything was white in this place, until the scenery suddenly shifted to the deepest black they had ever seen. Phos presented their fellow gems one by one, speaking each name like they rolled it on their tongue, tasting hopes and betrayal within each of them. It went on without incident, until…
 
“No, I’m 84.”
 
The Amethysts had switched places. This was another thing gone wrong tonight; and it gritted especially hard on the Lapis part in Phos, though they didn’t let it show. They were perhaps too shocked to, their resistance eroding from all the spikes on their path.
 
Phos presented Padparadscha as well. Aechmea seemed certain that he could fix the slumbering gem, though he couldn’t resist throwing a jab at their trust in him.
 
Phos’s expression darkened. “Don’t you dare break them.”
 
Aechmea’s remained pleasant. “Don’t be so upset. I won’t turn them to dust. I won’t do that to any of you.”
 “There’s one more,” Cicada interrupted. All of the gems jumped and flipped around. Cicada was holding something limp. A headless, cracked body. It was leaning against his left shoulder. 
Rutile’s head was clutched in his one free hand.
 
There was a sharp intake of breath from the gem assembly. Like one startled being, they closed onto each other, defensive. Only Phos stepped forward, aggravated.
 
“Cicada,

what

? Why are they here?”
 
Cicada stared. “You said we couldn’t leave it there.”
 
Phos felt like they should be panicking, and um, they were tethering on the edge. “I meant in the grass!”
 
“Phos,” Yellow’s voice interrupted, “What happened to Rutile?” Cairngorm looked lost, going from Phos to Rutile and back as if they couldn't process it.
 
“Rutile’s here?!” Everyone stared at Alexi, who was still blindfolded and couldn’t follow.
 
There was a beat. Dia extracted petals from their hair.
 
“We are not enemies,” Aechmea said urgently. “We do not have to be.” The tension in the air was horrible, oppressive. A thought struck Phos. What would happen if they started fighting here?
 
Phos buried their face into their hands, dropping their sword with a loud clatter. Nothing was going as planned, nothing at all. It was going to drive them crazy.
 
“Rutile’s going to destroy me!” they whined, almost yelling and startling half the assembly with their childish behavior. Something the old Phos would have done. They stopped short of calling them a quack. They prayed.
 
Cairngorm snorted. Aechmea’s smile upped a notch in genuineness. 
 
“We can easily fix them with your other friend," Achmea said smoothly, "if you have collected all the shards.” Cicada acquiesced. “They are Rutile, correct?”
 
Phos nodded as well, warily eyeing their companions.
 
“Well. Dear gems… I hope you will have a pleasant rest here.”
 
Aechmea and his crew left, leaving the gems alone in front of a melting ship. None of them minded, too stunned. Phos in particular felt ready to crumble any moment now.
 
“Can we trust them?” Benito asked in a tiny voice, huddled behind Yellow.
 
Phos shook their head. “We don’t have a choice on that matter.”
 
“Why’s Rutile here? What happened?” asked Amethyst. “Is it your fault?”
 
Phos didn’t want to answer, but they had little choice. “I talked to them about Padparadscha and they freaked out,” they admitted, unwilling to talk more about that disaster. Absentmindedly, they touched the crack side of their face, running onto their jaw, which was stuck onto the rest of their head with gold rather than glue. “They hit me first.”
 
Yellow looked like they were about to interject, but they didn’t say anything. Their companions fidgeted, uneasy.
 
Phos took a deep breath.
 
“There’s something… I want to let you all know about before anything else.”
  
Phos had to talk to Aechmea.
 
Yellow and Alexi couldn’t bear knowing the truth and shattered in front of everyone’s eyes. That burden had been too heavy, laced with too much grief and crumbled hope. Phos had thought that coming here, they would be prepared to be shocked. That knowing Aechmea would be able to fix them (hopefully) would keep them away from despair.
 
It wasn’t enough.
 
Well. As per their sibling’s demands, they were going to ask Aechmea to restore their old friends from dust now, rather than… later.
 
They couldn’t let him find out how vital that was, though. It was much too early for an ultimatum, wasn’t it? It could give him too much leverage…  
 
They were snapped out of their thoughts by a shine in the gooey wall.
 
Phos’s eyes widened, and they walked faster towards the light. There was some huge, glinting red

thing

that looked suspiciously like…
 
Padparadscha was up and about, propped onto a sofa with Aechmea. Were they already awake? How long had that taken? An hour?
 
How potent was Aechmea’s knowledge?  
 Phos was noticed as soon as they were a pace away from the threshold. Padparadscha flipped around with grace and a whole tsunami of hair.  “You’re Phosphophyllite, right?” 
The blue-haired gem blinked, unable to process this ludicrous event. They really were awake!

How?

They arrived an hour ago!
 
“I remembered the alloy arms…" Padparadscha's eyes swept their incongruous appearance. "But you have Lapis’s head too, just like Aechmea said…”
 
“Could you please not call me that?” Aechmea called from the couch. “I told you, it’s embarrassing.”
 
Padparadscha turned around to apologize. Phos was still reeling from the surprise. How amazing was Aechmea’s technology? What couldn’t it do? Even Rutile would take more time than this, even with their practice… finding the right color of corundum… polishing the stones took time… Aechmea didn’t have measurements beforehand like Rutile did…
 
Padparadscha spoke again, startling Phos. “It was bold of you to betray Sensei. You couldn’t have known what would happen,” their voice was harsher than it usually was, “you should have been careful and thought first.”
 
Bad child, Phos remembered from their last conversation. Phos saw Yellow and Alexi in their mind’s eye, crumbling to dust from despair.
 
“Still,” Padparadscha sighed, “my body is better than it’s ever been before.”
 
Phos blinked, uneasy. Padparadscha’s tone wasn’t happy. It was heavy with something Phos struggled to understand. Shouldn’t they be glad their wish had been granted?
 
“It’s too bad,” they said instead, looking more lost than Phos had ever witnessed. They strained a smile and turned back to Aechmea.
 
Phos still hadn’t recovered from the weight of Padparadscha’s words, and all they could say was “I’m glad it worked, truly…”
 
But that ringed empty even to them.
 
Padparadscha walked off, hair swaying as they set out into the goopy streets. Right, Phos has something to ask, but first… “Is Rutile whole again yet?”
 
Aechmea leaned towards them. “Cicada told me they attacked you. I am afraid repairing them would be unwise.”
 
“They…”

They could help you rebuild Padparadscha,

they had wanted to say, but it was obvious that Rutile hadn’t been needed. There was very little the gems could provide Aechmea. Phos had to be careful. “They’re friends with Padparadscha. If they’re around when Rutile wakes up, they shouldn’t act violently…”
 
Aechmea nodded. “I understand. I will see to that” he said. “Did you want anything else?”
 
Phos stared at them and took a deep, unneeded breath.
 
“Can you also... restore gems from dust?”
  
Yellow and Alexi shattered, but Padparadscha woke up. Rutile would be repaired soon. Somehow, Phos should have at least felt a little happy. This was a partial success; and both Yellow and Alexi could be rebuilt too, right? Like Rutile. They needed time to process the shock, of course, but they would be fine…
 
Hopefully.
 
Aechmea wasn’t done with Rutile yet, but once they woke up, they should be able to fix their siblings. Phos didn’t like to rely on Aechmea for that. Maybe their expertise could even help Aechmea fix the dusted ones faster! Things weren’t exactly good, but rationally speaking, it wasn’t going too badly.
 
They weren’t feeling happy at all though. Just very, very heavy, like the first time they bore their golden arms.
 
They were choking themselves all on their own. Yes, that's what it felt like; but Phos couldn’t afford to falter.
 
The heaved themselves to their usual resting place. They deserved some sleep. Preferably some Padparadscha quality sleep, but that was too much to ask. They had responsibilities.
 
They almost directly dropped onto the bed, which would have been unfortunate, because something was already in it. Someone. Someone very fragile, who would have shattered even from a touch of phosphophyllite.
 
Cinnabar.
 
Now that they thought about it, Aechmea had told Phos that Cinnabar would be here, the previous day… Phos had forgotten, what with all that was happening. A twinge of guilt twisted cracks inside of them.
 
Cinnabar was a messy sleeper. That was the least Phos could say about it. Their hair was a mess on the pillows. The bedsheet was tangled loosely around their midsection and the upper part of their legs, while they were spread eagle on the bed, sleeping soundly among the wrinkled sheets. There was poison dripping from their mouth, and in the corner of their eyes, but otherwise the white sheets didn’t look stained. In fact, a single foot went beyond the bed, outstretched like it wanted to escape this place.
 
Cinnabar was wearing clothes from the moon, the same white, widely opened ones as Padparadscha, rather than their usual. A portion of their chest was visible between the folds, and Phos couldn’t have guessed Cinnabar’s torso split in two just the night before. Aechmea must have put some powder over the cracks as well…
 
Their bed had been taken over, so Phos wasn’t too sure about their intended nap. Should they slip in anyway? It didn’t appear like Cinnabar had realized they were on the moon yet, so their odds of waking up being covered in poison from rage were low. Phos was so very tired. Surely they deserved rest.
 
They dropped carefully onto the bed, adjusting the bed sheets so that they’d be wrapped between Cinnabar and them. Then they moved over the red gem’s limbs very carefully, and thankfully, they didn’t break, not even a crack. The end result, a significantly neater sleeping Cinnabar, gave Phos a sense of accomplishment they had greatly missed today. They ended the movement by wrapping one of the sheets around the vulnerable-looking gem’s shoulder blades, and Cinnabar curled into the softness. They didn’t look peaceful, but they appeared to be more comfortable this way. Protected. Phos wouldn’t let anyone hurt them anyway, now that they were here.
 
Phos flopped onto the mattress and curled up next to the slumbering gem.
 
They stared at their red hair for a minute before turning around to face the vast expanses of white below. They’d rather face the moon than Cinnabar.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Cairngorm trudged through the slippery corridors with great difficulty. They had left the wide expanses of shattered crystals after a while, too sleepy and tired to process everything properly. Maybe they were dreaming the whole thing.
 
It seemed too crazy. Being on the moon. They felt light, too light here. Maybe they were just light-headed, hah.
 
Maybe Lapis’ body hadn’t been turned to dust.
 
They wandered for a while, alone, until they gave in and asked for directions. The Lunarians here weren’t threatening, but they were carefree and

fluttery

in a way that gave Cairngorm a headache.
 
They should find their stupid partner. Had they talked to Aechmea yet? Cairngorm stifled a yawn.
 
“They could be in their room!” A lunarian said, too loud, way too loud. “Let me show you the way.” The long haired thing bounced around to lead Cairngorm, as if they hadn’t dedicated significant time and energy to destroy the gem, over and over, since before Cairngorm had even seen the moon rise for the first time.
 
“Phos’s room” turned out to be a tower of sorts. Cairngorm was told there was a bed on top. That sounded extremely appealing. Maybe they could process all of this after a nap.
 
Preferably a hundred years long nap. It would teach Phos to take them for granted! Grumbling all the way, they climbed up the tower. Too many stairs. What they’d do for their ungrateful partner. Below, they noticed the streets wobbling ridiculously; but maybe it was their stamina running out that had everything swaying from side to side.
  
Phos’ vision split darkness to find a cloudy sky. Heavy volutes swirled directly overhead, covering everything up to the horizon in mesmerizing spirals. The weightless clouds looked about to collapse onto themselves, they were so big… so threatening. The whims of faint winds left portion of darkened sky visible, in alternance, but Phos never saw stars.
 
Something cold dripped onto their eyeball. Phos blinked the wet out of their eyes.
 
Raining. It was starting to rain…
 
They felt so heavy. They should just lay down here, half buried into thin, white dust. It took their shape, embracing their mismatched body, and Phos wanted nothing more at the moment. Just the feeling of something solid under them, something that wouldn’t crumble or melt or disappear.
 
They closed their eyes again. Maybe they could go back to sleep. A drop crashed into their gold arm with surprising violence, and they startled; as if that had been meant as a warning, the drizzle multiplied into a denser form, a true torrent beating Phos into the earth, exactly where they wanted to be.
 
Wait, this wasn’t earth, was it?
 
Wet dust flew from the violence of the downpour; white and grainy, like Phos had contemplated countless times, hands Phos had held and lost. Phos squeezed their eyes shut, willing the world away, but the dust, no longer supporting them, seemed to suck them in instead. They were going to be swallowed up, like Aechmea and the Lunarians swallowed oily matter everyday; Phos was going to be chewed, grinded by the infinite dust,

dust to dust

, and then they’d melt and disappear.
 
Although Phos had never felt heavier, they reached out to the sky, suddenly desperate to escape; the rain beat them down, poured holes into their body, the wind swayed them, but it was better, there had to be something better in this world, white dust and gray clouds and peeks of abysmal darkness beyond them. This was a world of colorlessness, but surely nothing was more colorful than Phos’s heteroclite body- if they couldn’t find color, then who would?
 
Just as they reached out in a forward movement, a wave animated the dust, pushing them to their feet with immense energy, and Phos staggered. They felt tiny, and weak, being played by the elements like this; the wind could knock them down, the sand could sink them, even the rain pressed down the weight of another world onto their shoulders.
 
They remained on their own feet, standing crouched onto themselves to shield, to protect themselves, but they were still standing- when would the rain stop? The sand swirled at their feet, the wind wrapped its deft fingers around them, tearing at their clothes as if to plead- but when would the rain stop?
 
They felt gold well up in their eyes, and something heavy slicked down their cheeks. “Crying”, Aechmea had called it. “An action undertaken by overwhelmed humans.”
 
Overwhelmed. Yes, Phos was overwhelmed. They tried to suppress the flow, but drops of gold dripped onto the wet, white sand and sunk, chunk by chunk, over and over. Phos couldn’t stop their hiccups until they felt empty entirely.
 
They were frozen. Petrified, as vital sap bled out of them like they were a wounded tree.
 
The heaviness oozed out of them in goopy fragments, and it seemed that the maelstrom slowed around them as they cried, but they were losing bits of themselves, weren’t they?
 
A violent gust of wind lifted the sand, and the air was filled with shatters and crystal crumbs until Phos saw nothing but white. The little grains each hit them in turn, but this pain was almost gentle through their numbness. Surely there was no gold left in them by now, no guilt, no sadness, just hollow veins in their cracked body.
 
The scenery shifted.
 
When the sand fell back down without a sound, they were standing on a neat, narrow beach. The sky was turquoise. They recognized a huge shell that stood out against the water. They remained still, staring at this ancient remain, realizing suddenly that the creature who shed it must have died long ago.
 
“Phos.” The voice startled them out of their dazed musings.
 
Lapis Lazuli.
 
This voice… it was reproachful. Had they also seen that storm? “You made a mess of this place again.”
 
“Sorry,” they said, because there was nothing else to say. They spun and surely enough, the elder gem stood onto the sand, hands on their hips and long blue hair swaying to a faint breeze.
 
Lapis swiped their hair over their shoulder, and smiled. “It’s fine. You’re tired, you needed that. I can keep us together.”
 
Phos blinked, and rubbed their eyes. Dry, uh. Actually, their hands were powdered white. Their entire body was phosphophyllite, this time… Well, it made sense, since they were talking to Lapis as if they were a completely separate being. Phos was just dreaming again. Had the storm been a dream too?
 
“As I said,” Lapis continued, like they were reading Phos’s mind, were they? Were they even separated from Phos’s mind? “ You needed this. A break.”  
 
“That was a break?” Phos didn’t fake the sardonic surprise of their tone. That wasn’t a break. That was

breaking.

Lapis shook their head. “You of all gems should know, holding onto your emotions without dealing with them will break you. Don’t you feel a little better after your tantrum?”
 
“...maybe!” Phos stretched, going back to their carefree persona. They hadn’t really dealt with it. At best they had scratched the surface.
 
They did feel lighter.
 
Not any cleaner, from all this ashen sand, but a little lighter. “The adorable me does feel better. Thanks, Lapis~" They winked, letting their tongue poke out childishly. That old persona fit onto them like a worn glove.
 
Lapis rolled their eyes, the corner of their lips lifted into a curve, but they didn’t look to be relaxed. They fiddled with their hair, not meeting Phos’s eyes. “I didn’t do much. I can’t say there’s much I can

do

.”
 
“You said you’d hold us together.”
 
Lapis’s eyes snapped to stare at Phos. Without responding verbally, they extended their arms outwards and spun around, inviting Phos to extend their perception to the world around them.
 
Phos recognized this place as the one where they had met up with Lapis a few times; they had never explored much of it, but if they had to describe it, Phos would call it a metaphor of their physical envelope. A heteroclite mess, full of holes and broken bits and shortcomings.
 
“This place is you,” Lapis stated, long hair swaying behind them as they spun like the moon around the planet, “and now, I’m also you. If you fall apart, so will everything here, and so will I.” Their movement ended, and they met Phos’s eyes again. They tilted their body forward, mischievous.
 
“Keeping order is the least I can do.”
 
Phos smiled with their eyes, this time. “Thank you so much, Lapis.”
 
Lapis didn’t answer. Lapis wasn’t even smiling anymore, although they usually maintained a pleasant expression. Had Phos done something wrong? They seemed to notice that Phos was taken aback by their shift in attitude. Lapis let their hands fall to their sides passively.
 
They remained silent. Pensive. Morose. Maybe even… melancholic.
 
“Maybe I should go,” Phos said.
 
This facet of Lapis made them uncomfortable, like they wanted to say something that Phos wouldn’t like. They turned around on their heels to leave. They weren’t sure about where they could go to, having no idea about how to wake up, but they could leave Lapis alone, if that's what they wanted…
 
“Phos. Wait.”
 
They stopped, but didn’t turn around.
 
“I have… an advice… and a request.”
 
“I’m listening.”
 
“There is a final piece you need to find. A missing piece to acknowledge. I can’t reach it. You’ll have to find it yourself.”
 
Phos looked in Lapis’s direction from above their shoulder, refusing to face them completely. “Was that the advice or the favor?”
 
Lapis’s expression was unreadable. “Advice,” they spoke in a hollow voice. They were staring at their feet. Phos spied a narrow crack on their neck.
 
Phos sighed and fixed their gaze to the sky again. “Alright. What about the favor?”
 
“Will you give me a minute to myself?”
 
What? What was that supposed to mean. A soft splintering sound resounded, but Phos didn’t look.
 
“Just one minute. A few words, not more. I’m still you.”
 
Phos dropped themselves onto the sand of their mindscape’s beach, staring at the horizon. There was a hint of emotion in that voice, an emotion they felt ripple inside of them but couldn’t quite reach.
 
“Sure.”
  
When Cairngorm reached the top, they considered just curling up there and then. Way, way too many stairs, not enough light. So annoying.
 
Then they lifted their gaze and noticed the bed. A bed. A bed sure did sound appealing. Then they knitted their brow in confusion. Two forms adorned the bed already, though there was significant place left. One they easily recognized as their partner, and the other… red hair… few gems had hair this color…
 
Cinnabar?
 
What was

Cinnabar

doing here? They hadn’t come along to the moon with everyone, had they? Cairngorm was almost certain they hadn’t been there. It didn’t make sense though. Cinnabar looked very real. They approached the toxic gem as close as they dared- unmistakeable. Some poison leaked out of them from their eyes, forming a small puddle on Cinnabar’s fingers, they were curled up on themselves. They had been wrapped clean into a blanket, but rather than looking cozy, their sleeping face lacked peace.
 
Cairngorm dragged themselves to the other side of the bed, where Phos was resting. They, too, were leaking all over the place, though the color of the liquid was gold. In fact, they were leaking from same place, the eyes as well. Was it a characteristic of gems with liquid parts? Maybe. Cairngorm couldn’t care less right now, they just wanted some corner of blanket to sleep on.  
 
“Move over,” they groaned, pushing Phos back towards the red gem so Cairngorm could sneak onto the edge of the bed. They were too tired for subtlety.
 
Surprisingly, Phos obeyed and rolled away from the edge. Their blue eye opened a slit, and a smile bloomed onto their… Lapis’s… their face. “Cairngorm.”
 
“Just let me sleep.” They yawned as if to prove a point.
 
“Of course.” Their voice was so soft, was it because of Cinnabar? They patted the space next to them, and Cairngorm lied down, intending to fall asleep and forget all of this nonsense, but...
 
Their partner reached out and touched Cairngorm’s face. The golden fingers didn’t break Cairngorm’s surface, only intending to caress, like the wind would. They traced Cairngorm’s jaw, up to where their cheek dipped to host the eyeball, and closed the eyelid with a touch.
 
Phos didn’t open their pearl eye, and Cairngorm could have almost fooled their sleepy mind into believing that Lapis spoke next. “I’m so sorry I left you alone,” they said.
 
Cairngorm had trouble moving their mouth to form words, at this point, but they still managed to form something resembling “It’s fine”.
 
“You are very kind,” Lapis’s mouth said. Cairngorm felt themselves falling under, and their consciousness faded in the next second.
  
Cinnabar blinked their eyes open, confused by the fluffiness they found themselves burrowed into. They usually slept without, curled against stone in their cave, under the watchful eye of the moon, pretending the translucid light it radiated wasn’t one of disdain.
 
What they saw when they rolled closer to the edge wasn’t the moon. It was a blue sphere swimming among the infinite, lonesome. The color reminded them of Phos’s new hair.
 
Their awareness extended further down, and they realized they weren’t on their native island at all. Everything was white. Gigantic. Intricate. Strange. Alien.
 
They sat upright, facing the landscape, and memories rushed back. The moon. The mattress dipped under their weight as they shook.
 
They were on the moon…
 
They remained in place, staring, unable to process that yes,

they were on the moon

, until they noticed the sound of breathing close to them. There was another presence behind their back- no, maybe not even just one- an enemy? They armed their poison, careful to let it run down their legs so that the bed would hide it, and turned around.
 
They had not expected the sight. No lunarians, but two gems lied in the bed with them. The farthest from them they recognized by their white uniform, one designed for winter. It could be none other than Cairngorm.
 
They didn’t need to wonder why winter’s warden was on the moon longer than a second. Their red eyes jerked to the other form, one adorned with a blotch of color among the omnipresent whiteness of the scene. Golden flecks of reflected light bounced from Phos to Cairngorm; both of them appeared to be deeply asleep, the latter’s head tucked under the former’s chin.
 
Cinnabar knew a blush was creeping dangerously close to their facial surface, menacing to betray their embarrassment. They’d been sleeping in a bed with Phos… and Cairngorm. Why. Why did this happen. They were still mad at Phos, but now it was hard to think, because

they’d been sleeping in a bed with Phos

.
 
And Cairngorm.
 
Even now, they weren’t alone. Phos always had someone else by their side. Someone who wasn’t Cinnabar. Maybe Cinnabar had had their chance. Maybe they never had one. It was selfish to think that, but it was true; Phos was too loved. Cinnabar didn’t want to be jealous, though. They remembered how many gems Phos had loved and lost in their short life… it must hurt so much to have love, and lose it.
 
Cinnabar had been too alone to know loneliness, before Phos. Maybe they resented that, too.
 
The other two kept on snoring peacefully, blissfully unaware of Cinnabar’s dark thoughts. A part of Cinnabar wanted to wrap themselves in a blanket and lie against Phos as well, but it was a foolish thought. They would break at the first movement of the gem, and then it’d be embarrassing for them both. Not to mention dangerous, what if some poison tainted Phos or Cairngorm? No, no. Fists tightened between their knees, they sat neatly on the bed, guarding the carefree gems. Cinnabar told themselves this was the natural evolution of their job.
 
All their lives they watched the moon by night. This was no different. The least they could do now, was to watch over the gems’ lunacy.
 
Why did Cairngorm agree to come to the moon? Had they been coerced into it like Cinnabar had been? They didn’t see anyone else around, but nothing proved Cairngorm had been the only one. Phos did say

everyone

would come. Who had they mentioned again? Dia. Yellow. Where were these two? Was there more? Should Cinnabar look for them? It would be more prudent for them all to stay in one place, but they didn’t want to leave Phos and Cairngorm in such a vulnerable state.
 
Cinnabar wondered if the others heard the same things Cinnabar was told. Likely. They weren’t anything special. Phos probably harassed all of the gems with rationalizations by day; and Cinnabar at night. How ironic that their nocturnal situation was the only thing that made them anything special to Phos.
 
Well, hadn’t it always been this way? Phos didn’t really care about Cinnabar. A hundred years ago the pebble decided they were bored and would find them a new job, and it somehow stuck into their stubborn mind. They clearly didn’t care about Cinnabar themselves all that much… There was nothing special about them at all.
 
Cinnabar curled up into themselves, hugging their knees.
 
It hurt to watch Phos’s peaceful sleeping face. It hurt to see Cairngorm relaxed by their side. They seemed happy, even on the moon, head to chin, and it was closeness Cinnabar would never have. Maybe it had been a possibility once, but now..?
 
...

don’t go to the moon!

Even now, a hundred years later, these words cracked something inside of them. On the moon, all of them… they were words of regrets.
 
If only Cinnabar had been braver. Maybe they could have stopped Phos. Sensei must be heartbroken, losing three gems in one night, likely more. They must think it’s their fault. In the end, Cinnabar was too weak to stand up against Phos in any way. They should never have allowed their help. Phos went to the ocean because of them. Nothing would have started…
 
Cinnabar didn’t stop them from scouting out the moon. They should have been brave and yelled again.
 
They tried to stop Phos way too late. When they finally gathered enough courage, they were shattered in an instant. Their determinations were unbalanced. Phos clearly didn’t...
 
Cinnabar frowned at the memory.
 
Phos had been... angry. Angry that Cinnabar questioned their means. Maybe Phos was cracked in some way, too, in between all their different parts.
 
Cinnabar was almost certain Phos hadn’t meant to hurt them at all. They remembered Phos screaming. That had clearly not gone according to plan. Phos hadn’t meant to break them... unless they were a really good actor.
 
But they had been hurt. “Phos didn’t mean to cause harm”... was this enough to forgive them?
 
Cinnabar didn’t know what to do with this information, so they tucked their chin on their knees and kept wondering, trying not to doze off.
 
They kind of did anyway. They had slept already, but they were still tired. Some noise must have woken them up before their regular waking time. Watching Phos sleep should have been more boring than night patrol anyway, since they weren’t walking around, there was no wind, no sceneries, no twitches in the grass, but it was sort of… interesting. Their face changed in very small ways, expression shifts rippling through the golden scar splitting Phos’s face.
 
It was fascinating, and it lulled them into a false sense of security. They found their eyes closing on their own.
 
Cinnabar shuddered awake; they rubbed a small amount of poison out of their eye, yawning. When they blinked their eyes open again, there was a planet-blue, moon-white stare orbiting towards their own eyes.
 
Cinnabar yelped in a very undignified way when Phos moved towards them. Cairngorm was still sprawled half over Phos, though still asleep. They staggered backwards, but they were already on the edge of the bed, and their hand found nothing to put Cinnabar’s weight on.
 
They were falling.
 
They were fall- no?
 
Phos caught them. With a gold arm. Touching them. Cinnabar was certain their face was now entirely red, nevermind the layers of powder. They were yanked forward and tumbled on the bedding. Oh no, oh no, they were going to stain it… and Phos’s arm…
 
“Get off me. Get off. Get off!” Cinnabar’s voice crescendoed and Phos let go. Their alloy reformed into something hand-like, palms open, as if to plead.
 
Cinnabar hid their face behind their hair, embarrassed. Phos didn’t have this luxury, but Cinnabar didn’t want to see Phos’ expression right now anyway. They only caught a glimpse of it- they saw guilt.
 
Phos wasn’t saying anything. Maybe they’d go back to sleep. Did Cinnabar want that? Cairngorm groaned, blissfully unaware of the awkward weight of the air.
 
No. They didn’t… they didn’t want that.
 
“I woke up on the moon,” Cinnabar spoke, “and you were gone.”
 
Phos didn’t reply, so Cinnabar insisted. “Explain to me. Please.”
 
Phos shifted. Silence, besides Cairngorm’s breathing.
 
“Who came to the moon?” Cinnabar asked instead, and this time, Phos answered. They enumerated names in a voice that didn’t sound alive, more names than Cinnabar expected but fewer than they should have.
 
Together.

Everyone together.

“And what are we going to do now?” Cinnabar inquired, “Wait?”
 
“For now, yes,” Phos said, voice flat.
 
Cinnabar tightened the blanket they had draped over themselves again. They wouldn’t say they were sulking, but they weren’t at their happiest, either. They didn’t…. They didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know what to do!
 
They stubbornly stared at the moon below, as if they could have the courage to let it be Phos’s eye instead.