Work Text
Alex didn’t show up at work for a week, sighting her health condition in her email to Tobin and to their Human Resources office. It came when Tobin purposely didn’t respond when Alex sent her resignation letter. So Alex sent another email instead asking if she could take a leave for a few days. This time Tobin responded and approved her weeklong request to rest. She of course didn’t buy Alex’s alibi. She fully knows the reason behind the younger woman’s absence and if she’s to be honest, she feels relieved not to see Alex after their heavy argument last time they were together that led to their breakup. They both needed the time apart. The next time Tobin sees Alex again, the blue-eyed woman is wearing a black above-the-knee high dress that fit her every curve, highlighting her firm ass and cupping her pair of majestic breasts. Her hair is pulled in a neat bun, face in a light but elegant makeup (lips plushed in red lipstick, cheeks with just enough blush), she towers most girls with her three-inch black heels. Alex is a sight to behold. She stands out in a crowd of rich, classy, accomplished women. Tobin feels a lump in her throat when Alex tugs an unfamiliar figure behind her toward her designated table for the night. It’s their company’s annual Chairman’s Ball night where select and outstanding employees are recognized for their hard work and are given with awards for their dedication and service for the company. Tobin watches as Alex walks to her table, the figure following just beside her drags the chair so Alex can take a seat. Tobin will be lying if she says the man isn't gorgeous. He has perfectly cut blonde hair. His jaw is as defined as Tobin's. He stands not shorter than 6ft Tobin guesses. He looks tall and lean in his black tuxedo. Tobin hates it but the pair looks stunning.Alex looks at the man and flashes a smile uttering a thank you later for his chivalry. The man returns her smile and takes a seat of his own. “Huh,” Tobin snorts having to witness the interaction. “Babe?” Christen calls to her wife’s attention. “Tobin.” “Uh, yeah, what babe?” Tobin blinks a couple of times, dragging her gaze from the pair across the room. She turns to her side and sees Christen with a pursed lips. “I’m sorry, I spaced out,” She apologizes to her wife who’s now staring as well from where her eyes were anchored at a few seconds ago. “Is that Alex?” Christen ignores Tobin’s excuse and squints her eyes to adjust in the dim lights and to confirm that it is indeed Alex. “Uh, yeah. It’s her. What do you wanna talk again?” There’s nothing else Tobin wants to do at the moment other than change the topic away from Alex and her hot date. “Hmmm…I thought she’s sick or something," Christen finally tears away from staring at the pairs and looks at Tobin with questioning eyes. “I thought so. Maybe she’s feeling better now. Good for her,” Tobin shrugs her shoulders, trying her best to look like she doesn’t care. “Maybe, I think it helps to have a date as hot as him,” Christen nonchalantly says and takes a sip of her red wine, not knowing the effect of her words to her wife.“What a catch. They look really good,” Christen continues. "Anyway, is it fine if I..." Tobin curls her fist into a ball under the table. She doesn't hear her wife any further. Her focus is on the woman on the far side table of the ball room. Her knuckles turn white from the amount of force she’s exerting. Her eyes find the pair again from across the room. The guy is leaning on Alex’s side, whispering something in her ear. Alex throws her head back and cups the guy’s neck before bending over and planting a lingering kiss just under the mysterious guy’s jaw. Tobin grabs her still full glass wine and chugs it in empty in one swig. She needs distraction to keep her off from watching Alex with someone else. “Dude, you might wanna take the staring a notch down. You’re exposing yourself,” Ash pops out of nowhere and nudges her by the shoulder. They are seating on the high stools of the bar, each of them has a beer in hand. Christen is now on the dance floor, enjoying the night and the music with Nima, Ali, and Emily and some of their friends. After the presentation of awards and recognition, the annual Chairman’s Ball turned into a full-on party. Drinks and food flood. People consuming alcohol in a fast and carefree pace. Everybody’s having a great time with their plus ones and coworkers, except maybe Tobin who’s in her third bottle of beer in the bar. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,” Tobin denies. She doesn’t want to admit that she’s been staring at Alex and her date since they walked in the party hand in hand. The two has found a spot on the dim part of the dance floor. Alex’s hands are wrapped around the guy’s torso. Her hips are swaying to the beat of the song while the guy’s head is buried at the crook of her neck. Ash examines her face intently, making Tobin squirm under her gaze, “Dude, stop.” Ash smirks and takes a quick swig of her beer, “You know what I’m talking about, Heath.” “No I don’t,” Tobin denies one more time. Ash puts her bottle down on the granite surface of the counter and runs her fingers in her dark, brown fuckboy hair cut. “I know it’s not my business but…” Tobin’s tattoo-clad friend trails, thinking carefully of how to word out her thoughts to the moping brunette. “Maybe it’s for the good of everyone that you finally cut off things with her. Now she’s trying to move on and it’s nice that she’s really doing well after your breakup.” Tobin remains silent, her eyes still furiously aimed at Alex whose back now grinding against her date’s front. Ash breathes deep, “Tobs, all I’m saying is that let her move on. You chose Christen. It broke Alex apart but she’s starting to get on her feet again. She’s not there yet but I think she’s getting her old self back. Just stay away from her and don’t break her again.” If Tobin hears her friend, it doesn’t show. She sets her bottle down and hops off from the stool. She turns around to meet her concerned friend’s face. “Thanks but I know what I’m doing.” With that she pushes herself off and marches on to the comfort room area where Alex is now heading to, leaving a stunned Ash shaking her head in disappointment and finishing her beer. Tobin swings the door open and bangs it close. She doesn’t care if she breaks it. She has one mission and that’s all that matters to her at the moment. The impact of the door jolts Alex, making her spin around quickly. She’s ready to face and scold whoever ill mannered person rudely slams the door. But Alex doesn’t even get a chance take a better look and recognize the culprit before she is being pushed back in one of the cubicles by a pair of two, forceful hands. She feels her back hit the cold, hard surface of the wall. Her eyes are locked on a pair of beautiful golden ones. Tobin is only half-inch closer to her. She smells a mix of wine and beer and vodka lime. Her breath tickling Alex’s skin. Her hands are firm and strong on Alex’s waist. Eyes dark and shaking. They remain like this for what feels like infinity. Neither one breaking their proximity apart nor closing the gap between them. “What the fuck are you doing?” Tobin is the first to break the silence. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that? What the fuck are you doing?” Alex counters. She sounds annoyed and shocked but doesn’t push Tobin away anyway. She wants to snap. How dare Tobin question her for bringing a date tonight? Tobin has absolute zero idea how she made her feel all those times Alex would only observe her with her wife from the distance, looking so happy and in love. How it killed Alex every time. How it made her small and feel unworthy of love and inadequate to get someone to choose her. She never talked about this with Tobin. Never opened up about how she truly felt because she knew she could never ask Tobin not to bring her wife in company parties and events, could never prohibit Tobin’s wife from visiting her in the office. She never did that because she knew her place in Tobin’s life. “No, what the fuck are you doing, Alex?” Tobin sighs and shuts her eyes, “Why...why are you doing this to me?” She pops them open. Her eyes are pleading, begging, conveying something to Alex. Alex bows her head and tilts it to the side, avoiding Tobin’s eyes. She can’t take to look at how pained Tobin is in front of her. It’s her weakness. All logic abandons her and she melts easily into Tobin's spell. “Tobin, I need to—” “Are you with him?” Tobin cuts her off. Insecurity and fear coating her voice. “Tobin, you’re drunk. Where is Chri—” Tobin lifts her chin up with the thumb under her chin, making them eye level again. “Alex, I just want to know. Are you with him?” Alex wants to say yes. She wants to confirm the fear in Tobin’s eyes. She wants to hurt the brunette who’s the reason behind the restless nights she spent crying. She wants to inflict the same pain and depression she went through the past week to the woman pushing her against the wall. But Alex can’t. Alex would never. She thought she could. She invited Tom to the party to be her plus one, for the sole purpose of proving Tobin that she still had a life after her. That she could live without the older woman. That she was still worthy of love and that she could still find one. But looking at Tobin’s eyes now, those golden, brown pair that used to be her favorite color (they still are) when she woke up in the morning, she can’t do it. She can’t bear to see her hurting more. She just can’t because she loves her. Tobin broke her but it doesn’t stop Alex from loving her still. Tobin didn’t choose her but Alex thinks she can never not love the woman. Tobin owns her heart. “Ash told me to leave you alone. To let you move on and get your life back before me. I know it's selfish of me but I can’t. I can’t Alex and I don’t know why. All I know is it hurts a lot. Damn it’s killing me. Do you know how much I was holding myself back every time that son of a bitch touched you out there?” Alex can’t find the right words to say. Her throat is dry and she feels dizzy, not sure whether it’s from the wine she consumed during the night or it’s some kind of effect from Tobin’s close proximity. So she remained quiet, only their heavy breaths making sound inside the stall they are in. It’s times like this, when Tobin is looking at her with pleading and hopeful eyes that Alex reconsiders, no, feels, maybe there is a tiny chance that Tobin loves her, too. That this is not a one-sided thing. That somehow over the past six months, Tobin has fallen for her and developed feelings other than lust, other than carnal. Tobin looses her grip on Alex’s waist and steps back, dejection and hopelessness in her eyes showing.Tobin takes Alex silence as a yes. A confirmation of her fear. Her whole body turns numb and cold almost as immediately.
She's moved on. She's with someone else now.
Tobin doesn't know how she's still breathing and able to stand on her feet. She surely knows though she's dying inside. A thousand stabs on the chest is nothing compared to the pain her heart is going through. “Tobin, Tom and I are, we’re—” “I guess Ash is right,” She wipes off the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand and takes a deep breath, “I’m glad you’ve moved on. I hope he makes you happy.” Tobin runs a hand in her hair, “Fuck, I shouldn’t have done this. I’m…I’m so sorry,” Tobin pushes the door open. She checks herself in the mirror and splashes water in her face to wipe off the remnants of tears on her cheeks. Her eyes are still puffy and red but she can make alcohol an alibi. Alex emerges from the stall and grabs her arm, “Tobin, wait—” Tobin jerks it off and strides toward the door, “Alex, it's fine. You don’t have to explain. I get it. I’ll be happy for you.” “Tobin, will you please let me talk first?” Alex pulls her by the arm again but Tobin doesn’t budge. She continues to head to the door until she bumps into a firm body. She looks up and sees a smiling Vero, just a few steps from the door and is looking down at her. “Hello, Heath, did I interrupt something important?” Vero wiggles her brows. She steps back a little bit, creating some space from Tobin, and cockily tilts her head to the side. “Hi, I’m Vero. Tobin’s…friend,” She smiles smugly, extending her hand to Alex, who’s got panic eyes. “Fuck off, Vero!” Tobin snaps and pads toward the door, bumping Vero as she passes her. Tobin tries to even her breathing and calm her nerves as she walks to their table and finds Christen animatedly chatting with an employee. Her wife smiles at her lovingly but it’s only short lived. It’s replaced by concern and worry once she notice Tobin’s sullen face. “Babe, are you okay?” “No, I’m not really feeling well. Can we go now?” She pleads to her wife. Christen gets up from her seat and caresses her cheek lovingly. Christen reaches for her hand and intertwines their fingers. “Yeah, of course. Let’s go home.” “So...Tobin didn’t answer my question. Did I interrupt anything, Miss…? Oh I didn’t get your name. You are?” Vero inches closer to Alex. The smug on her face hasn’t disappeared. Alex just wants to punch it off from the face of the earth at the moment. Alex rolls her eyes and moves pass her, bumping the woman by the shoulder just like Tobin did. She half runs to the ball room and immediately scans the place for Tobin. She has to talk to her. Tobin needs to know she hasn’t moved on. And she probably never will. Tobin has to hear she still loves her and that Tom is just a friend she’s using to make her jealous tonight. That she’s not sleeping with anyone. That there’s no one else but her alone. That maybe she was wrong. Maybe they can work this out and make compromise. Because Alex has realized losing Tobin hurts more than being just the other woman. Alex cranes her neck and squints her eyes under the dim lights, trying hard to locate the brunette. Her heart once again skips a beat when she finally spots Tobin. There she is, the love of her life. But her heart is crushed again into a million pieces as she witnesses a familiar sight. Tobin is guiding Christen through the crowd and tables. Her hand locks with hers, leaving the party and ending the night again with her wife.