Work Text
Peter didn’t know why he had so many enemies named after animals. Was it his name? Did Spider-Man just attract the animal themed villains like flies to sugar? He didn’t know but right now he wished he attracted more shooty shooty villains instead of ones like Lizard. Or Doc Oc. Or Vulture. Or the the one he was currently fighting, Rhino.
Rhino, who had no self control.
Rhino, who was currently surrounded by surrounded and engaging the police after the teller in the bank had tripped the silent alarm.
The same Rhino who was now rushing at a small teen who had just stepped out of an alley, who had her headphones in and probably didn’t know her life was in danger. Spidey thwipped up onto the building, shooting a string of webbing at her and yanking her out of the way at the last second. He webbed both of them up onto the roof.
“You okay?” He asked, setting her down, she collapsed in a heap, shaking and sweating and pale but otherwise unscathed.
“Y-yeah.” She stammered. Spidey looked her over once more before flipping off the roof and thwipping across the street. Swinging around the area, he swung behind the police barricade. “Area all clear, Captain!” He chirped, sticking the landing with a smart salute at the police Captain who gave him a bland look before asking if he could tire Rhino out.
“Of course I can!” He exclaimed, subtly reloading his web shooters as he did. Hopping on top of the cruiser, he took a moment to calculate before he thwipped a web towards the building on his right. Kicking off said building he jumped back in the fray.———-
Five minutes later, Rhino decided the best way to knock Spidey out was to throw things at him and hope he hit. Two things though. One: his aim sucked. Like “he wasn’t even close to hitting him” sucked. Two (words): Spidey sense. Need I say more?
But while his aim sucked, there was always that one lucky shot. The shot that an amateur pitcher made that actually made it over the plate. The shot that actually knocked the bottles over at the carnival. The one fucking shot out of a hundred duds that makes a difference. Yeah. So while Spidey was swinging across the street, a manhole cover was being swung Captain America style. It went off course and hit the side of a building, bounced, and flew several feet above Spidey, cutting his webbing mid flight and knocking him off balance, causing him to slam into the concrete street beneath him.
Slightly dazed, he started getting up, but he wasn’t fast enough to escape the giant, super suit powered hand that grabbed his upper arm and swinging him down into the ground again and again. It was painful sure, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. His new suit provided cushioning against the pavement, something Wade had always said Peter needed when they were patching up rough patches of road rash, but it still hurt.
Swinging his legs around, he tried to get the leverage he needed to wiggle out of his grasp, only to have one of his legs caught in an iron grip, and be bodily thrown onto the corner of a building, his back making contract with the sharp edge with a crack.
Oh. OH! That hurt. Normally he hit the flat face of a building, not the corner.
He slumped to the ground, his badly shaking body trying to get up. He vaguely heard shouting from the cops but he couldn’t make it out over the loud ringing in his ears. The world was swimming and eventually tilted as he was picked up and slammed again into the corner. And again. And repeat. On the fourth hit there was a loud sharp crack that echoed through the suddenly silent street. He fell on his ruined back as someone knocked Rhino back, forcing him to drop Spidey. Fire spread through him as he arched his back as he hit the pavement, his mouth opened in a silent scream. His vision flashed red for a moment, then he fell into blessed darkness.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“MAKIN’ MY WAY DOWNTOWN, GOIN’ FAST, ASSES PASS AND I’M BONE BOUND!”
A couple people laughed, while a mom shot him a disgusted look for making lewd comments around her five year old.
[How dare you mutilate a classic song.]
{Asses!}
Wade huffed a sigh. “Everyone’s a fucking critic.”
{Hey I liked it!}
“And for that, you’re you’re my favorite.”
[If you don’t like it, stop butchering songs by an american sweetheart.]
{My yellow turned red I’m blushing so hard!}
“I didn’t know Tanya Harding sang A Thousand Miles.” Wade said, slapping a hand to his face in despair.
[No you idiot.]
“Are you sure?”
[She really didn’t.]
“Shirley Temple?”
{Marilyn Monroe?}
“Tom Hanks?”
{Now there’s a sweetheart I can get behind!}
“Mmm agreed.”
[He was beautiful in Sleepless in Seattle, huh?]
“Amen to that!” Wade said, fist bumping the air.
[What are we doing anyways?] White asked.
“Dunno. Writer Lady hasn’t set the scene yet. Sloppy writing, Writer Lady!”
Deadpool, because Wade was wearing his suit and couldn’t even run to the bodega for eggs and strawberries without getting bloody, was walking the four blocks to the nearest corner market to get the ingredients to make his Spider-babe a romantic breakfast for when he got home from the fight he knew would make Peter tired. Peter rarely took off in the middle of the morning unless he got a call from the police on his Shield issued burner phone; and that only happened when it was a super powered villain terrorising NYC.
{Baby boy didn’t even give us a goodbye kiss.} Yellow grumbled.
[He’s a hero, Yellow. He gets the call he goes swinging.] White chided.
“When did you turn into the voice of reason?” Wade asked.
{Yeah traitor!}
[Well someone has to keep this train wreck chugging away.]
“{True.}” Wade and Yellow agreed as they finally reached Pedro’s Carniceria y Taqueria. Walking in, Deadpool yelled towards the back. "¡Oye Pedro! ¿Cómo esta Manuela? ¿Ésta bien?” He asked as he turned a strawberry the size of his palm over.
A voice called from the back, "Hola señor Deadpool, si, ella está mucho mejor desde la cirugía. Nos seguimos preguntando donde encontraron un riñón tan rápido.”
{Nosey nosey… Let’s take his!}
Deadpool laughed and ignored Yellow, {Notice me senpai!}, and said, "¡Ese es el secreto de mi exito Pedro!, ¡Nunca lo sabrás!"
Walking around and picking up stuff from the shelves, Deadpool sang along with the song raining down out of the speakers. “Just call me angel, of the morning, angel! Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby!”
{Wow Writer Lady sure is pining isn’t she?}
[Well she doesn’t have any money to go see the movie again.]
“Oh! And she’s had a crush on Ryan Reynolds since she was like 5.”
{5?}
“All Canadian children love Ryan Reynolds. He’s Canada’s Sweetheart!”
{Kinda like how all Canadians kinda hate Justin Beiber?}
“Exactly!”
[So of course she’s pining!]
{His new music though….}
“[Meh.]”
Deadpool walked up to the counter where the skinny cashier was, looking at him like he was the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, and said happily, “Ring em up Skippy!”
As the frightened kid hurried to do so (poor kid was probably gonna quit), Wade noticed the TV above their heads was showing a fight between Rhino and Spidey. Reaching around, he pressed the volume up.
“… Reporting live from midtown, where the Rhino and Spiderman are going head to head after what sources say is a bank robbery gone wrong.”
They watched as Spidey saved a girl from being kabobed, his muscles straining under the suit.
“Mmm..”
{Dat ass…}
[Oh lord, yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,]
{Only thing better than that ass in spandex is that ass out of spandex!}
[Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me,]
{Damn right they do!}
[And thank you for giving us this gift.]
“Amen.”
{Didn’t know y'all were religious.}
“Well, da booty is a religious experience in and of itself.”
[We worship it. Almost every night.]
“And some days.”
{Well I guess it is a miracle.}
“Damn right it is!” Wade growled.
[Hey! Isn’t that our bank?]
{Where?}
[On the TV dumbass.]
{Oh. Oh yeah! It is!}
“It’s only a couple blocks away.”
{So we can go creep on da booty live?}
[I’d rather do that than watch on this crappy, low-def dinosaur.]
Grabbing his bags, Wade slapped down a hundred and ran out the store.
“TO THE BANK!”———–
Wade managed to run two whole blocks in five minutes without breaking a sweat or breathing hard (which is a fucking record because if you think everything’s bigger in Texas, you fuckers clearly ain’t been to the Big Apple). Stopping just short of the Police barricade, he looked up to see his baby boy swinging around like a world class gymnast. Flips and twists that even circus contortionists would be envious of, all of which were designed to be the most annoying and tiring to the opponent. It was what he loved best about Petey.
Because while he had enough strength to crush a car, he used his abilities to tire out opponents like Rhino. Opponents who had time limits to how effective their powers were. Power comes with a price Deary.
It was pretty beautiful too. How his baby boy was so sure footed. How he could free fall and save himself at the last minute.
Honestly Peter was the total package. Brains, brawns, and beauty, both inside and out. He was one lucky motherfucker to have even caught the attention of such a perfect person, let alone be able to share a life with him.
{Damn straight.}
[Anybody who can look past the lava rock face we have going on under this mask is a saint.]
“Lava rock?” Wade asked, because honestly that was a new one.
[Petey left a documentary on volcanoes on last night. With what we have going on lately, it was a good analogy.]
Wade shrugged. Normally his cancer stayed away from his face, but for the past week it had been sticking around, reminding him of what little he could remember of the horror show that was high school. Acne. Ugh.
A microphone being pushed into his face caught his attention. “Mr. Deadpool, what are you doing here? Are you here to provide assistance to Spiderman?”
{Nah we’re here in our official capacity as the fashion police.}
[Jersey Shore called, it wants its hair back.]
{Circus clowns wear less red on their lips than this woman.}
[That shade of green should be reserved for the toilets only.]
Deadpool barked out a laugh. “Nah, I was just in the area and thought I’d get a free show.” His lecherous grin was visible through the fabric of his mask.
The reporter giggled and was about to ask another question when a short, sharp yelp echoed through the street alongside the thud of a body falling to the ground. Twisting back, Deadpool saw that while he had been distracted Rhino had somehow managed to injure Spidey. And while he may not be Doctor Bruce Banner or Reed Richards, he knew a little something about spine injuries (mostly from him having suffered from quite a few of them). And that’s what made him drop his shopping and jump into action, jumping on and over the police cruisers, and rushing the 50yards between them and him.
Three more times Rhino managed to bring his lover down on that brick corner and on the last strike there was a sharp crack that resonated through the air, like the last note in a haunting melody. One that left chills on the skin of everyone who heard it.
Wade saw red. He jumped and twisted in midair, bringing the steel heel on his right combat boot down on the bridge of that fucker’s nose, knocking him back a few feet and down onto his ass.
Turning and kneeling, Wade saw a small pool of blood gathering under Spidey, and, when he lifted his mask to his nose, his breaths were quick and shallow. He needed to get him out of there and to a…. A hospital. He wanted to freak out a bit at that thought but right now he had to take care of his baby boy.
Standing up he turned to look at the only thing standing between them and the care Peter would need. Said thing was struggling to his feet with blood running freely from his broken nose.
{Slice him to pieces!}
[Tear his head off!]
“You should be thankful I’m not in the business of unaliving people anymore, Mr. Sytsevich.” Wade growled, drawing his katanas. “Because what you just did would have put you right up there on my naughty list.” Darting in, Deadpool started making quick jabs and slices towards his extremities, his arms and legs and chest. The covering for the suit was thick and did its job of protecting the wiring of the suit well. But Deapool was the best at what he did, and that was exploiting his opponents weaknesses.
More than once the pommel of his swords made contact with the Russian bastard’s face.
It was clear to everyone that watched the difference in fighting styles between him and Spidey. Unlike Spiderman, he didn’t give a flying fuck about whether or not the bastard survived; infact the only thing that kept him from taking his head off was that small voice in the back of his head that sounded a lot like Peter, telling him that killing was wrong.
So instead he cut the wires to the suit, making Alexei Sytsevich crumple to the ground under the weight of his suit. But not before Deadpool had kicked him in the face one more time.
{Should have killed him!}
[Yeah! Teach him a fucking lesson!]
{Nobody messes with our Spidey!}
Deadpool ignored the boxes and called out for EMTs. Five minutes later found Spiderman being loaded into the back of an ambulance that was set to take them to Mercy General.
They never made it.
Two blocks out, they had to stop because of the woman with red hair standing in the middle of the street. Natasha Romanov gave them one look with her scary green eyes, said one word, and suddenly she was driving an ambulance towards Avengers Tower.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“And then I said, "Hey check it out! I’m the walking dead!”
Peter snorted, his sides hurting as he tried to contain his laughter. He had only been away for a few minutes after being unconscious for six hours, and the first thing Wade did was to lift his spirits with crappy jokes.
It helped that the room he was in was strategically decorated so that it didn’t look like a hospital room. (No room with that many Captain America posters could even remotely be called a hospital room.)
Peter had woken a few minutes earlier while Wade had been singing Photograph by Ed Sheeran (which is a really pretty but really sad song). The first thing Peter did was obviously to put a stop to that. Because Wade’s mouth was made to sing show tunes and dirty songs that made Peter blush uncontrollably, not songs that made them both want to cry. So Peter had groaned out a very drunken “Staaaaaaahp.” Which had had Wade up and fluttering his hands gently over Peter’s face, which had led to gentle butterfly kisses all over his face and neck, which had led to declarations of love, which had led to Wade telling a funny story about how he had ended up as an extra in the AMC series The Walking Dead and Peter giggling uncontrollably (he was so high on pain meds he could fly a kite on his fluffy hair).
“Well it’s good to see you awake Mr. Parker.” Dr. Linda Carter said, walking in and shutting the door. “Hello Mr. Wilson. Still alive I see.”
“Ms. Carter! My favorite out of an entire species of disgusting maggots!”
“Charming as ever Mr. Wilson.” She said. “Now Mr. Parker, are you in any pain at all?”
“No. But um… I… I feel this odd pressure on my back.” He said. Now that he thought about it, he had this pressure all over his body. But the most intense was centered on his back.
“Yes, you would. Normally, the medication would numb the entire body, but you’re burning through it so fast the pain is still felt.”
“So is Peter gonna be okay?” Wade asked. Peter rarely saw this side of Wade but when it came out it was always when Peter was in trouble. Well, actually there was that one time when Aunt May had slipped on a patch of ice. Wade had been super serious then too. It was sweet, the way he cared so much about them.
Dr. Carter dimmed the lights. “Well, most of Peter’s wounds are pretty basic. Bruising, scrapes, a broken ankle and wrist…” A hologram popped up in the middle of the room. “I’m concerned about this though.” She zoomed in on the spine. “When Peter hit the wall you heard a crack, yes? Well that crack was his T10 to L1 vertebrae being fractured.” The hologram fractured its vertebrae at her touch. “I’m concerned that a few shards may migrate into his spinal cord. However, due to his healing factor, the time we have to worry is small.” The hologram disappeared and the lights came on. “A brace should keep it stable for the two or so days until the bone starts to mend. I suggest a week and a half in a wheelchair for Spiderman and three weeks for Peter.”
“So what’s the cover story?” Wade asked. The next wave of meds had kicked in and Peter was drooling on the pillow.
“Peter got hit by a car early this morning. The wounds aren’t serious but bed rest for the next couple days and a month in a wheelchair and he should be good.”
She looked over at Peter, who was now rubbing his face against the super soft pillows on his bed. She smiled. “The medication should wear off in a few minutes. I’ll be right back with your industrial sized Oxy that look like tic-tacs.” She turned to leave, then turned back for a moment. “Oh, and Director Fury would like a word with you.” Now she left.
For the next two minutes all Wade did was watch Peter come down from his high. The embarrassed flush that travelled down his neck was beautiful.
Peter cleared his throat. “S-so um…” He stammered, “W-what happened after you compared yourself to a zombie?”
“Huh?” Wade asked, staring at Peter’s neck.
He blushed even more, his face going dark red. “Your story. What happened next?”
“Oh. Oh yeah!” Wade sings. He jumps onto Peter’s bed, somehow managing not to displace any weight on the bed. “So the director yells cut, and I’m standing there in my ripped suit and all I could think was “Ohemgeeee I’m gonna be a STAAAAARRRR!!!!!!” Wade sings, throwing his arms out and sitting up on his knees.
“Funny. With how much you eat, I would have likened you to a black hole.” Standing in the doorway, in all his badass, black leather glory, was Nick Fury.
“Nicky, baby!” Wade yelled, scrambling to his feet he rushed over and threw an arm around his shoulders. “I miss you Nicky.” He said with mock sincerity, “We never talk anymore. At least, not without a life/planetary threat.”
“You do know that I have no problem dismembering you and leaving your parts in different cities around the world, right?” He said flatly, by now used to Deadpool’s enthusiasm.
“And nobody does it better,” Wade crooned, leaning his head on Fury’s shoulder. “Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby you’re the best!”
Fury raised an amused eyebrow while Peter giggled uncontrollably. “S-s-should I be j-jealous?” He said, taking deep breaths. Wade flew back over and somehow manage to get on the bed without jostling Peter’s body.
“Absolutely not baby boy! You’re totally the only one for me!” Here he paused, his eyes glazing over as he listened to the boxes. “Huh.” He said eventually, looking back at Peter with a smile. “Even the boxes love you.”
“Really?” Peter asked. “Because the last time I checked, Yellow thought I should be kept around because my ass is (here he put air quotes) "fly as fuck”, and White thought I was with you out of pity.“
"Well to be honest your ass is fly as fuck. And that pity thing was three for three.” He said moving to lay his head in Peter’s lap. “But now I’ve seen the light! And it’s like the fog has lifted. And it’s warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted!” He sang, twisting to look at Peter. “All at once everything is different, now that I seeeeeeeeeeeeee…… Yoooooooou.”
“Not that I’m not thrilled to witness this loving moment,” Fury started as he closed the door. “But I have a request to make. And for someone who swings around the entire city, and whose number I have, you are a surprisingly difficult man to get a hold of Mr. Parker.”
“Well have you tried whispering into the nearest spiderweb?” Peter asked. “You never know, stranger things have happened than Spiderman getting requests via the web.” He started giggling. “Get it? The web? And I’m dating a man whose initials are WWW!” He cackled as Wade laughed uproariously next to him.
Fury just stood there, watching them laugh like a couple of hyenas.
A couple minutes later they calmed down. Peter cleared his throat, mortified. “I am so sorry sir. I um…”
“It’s fine. They have you the stuff that would make even Natasha seem like a cuddly kitten.”
Peter snorted because on more than one occasion Natasha had curled up with him and shared some of her more comical missions.
“You had something to ask us?” He asked.
Sitting down, Fury pulled a small plastic container out of his inner coat pocket. “Let me put it to you straight. With the sudden emergence of new superpowered teens, the world is in some pretty serious danger. So I'm putting together new teams, to teach these new kids the ropes. I’m assigning two senior agents to each group. I was hoping you two would be willing to mentor this group.” He put the container on the table next to them. “Inside you will find files on each of the members on this team. They all go to the same school, Midtown High. They know each other. And their initial tests were high on all portions, including teamwork. But they need guidance. That’s where you two come in.”
“You want us to mold the minds of impressionable young heroes?!” Wade asked, while Peter’s mouth hung open. “You do know who you’re asking right? The two most loose cannons on the Avengers? Actually, not even Avengers! We’re fucking supplemental!” Peter ran his hands over Wade’s head and shoulders, trying to sooth his agitation.
Peter met Fury’s eye. “Can we have a while to think about it? It’s a very big decision.”
Fury nodded and got up. “You have one month.” He said, walking out the door. Halfway down the hallway he shouted back to them, “Get well soon, Spidey!”
The two heroes stared after him.
“Did he just…?”
“I think he did.”
They looked at each other. “So what do you think?” Peter asked as his next wave of meds hit. He reached his arms out and made grabby hands.
Wade smiled. High Peter was cute Peter. Cuddling up into Peter’s side he said, “Maybe we should wait until your higher reasoning has returned.”
“Hehe that was pretty mathure…. manure….mmmm.”
Wade giggled. “Mature?”
“Yyyyeeeeeeeeaaaahhh!” Peter said, a huge smile on his face.
Dr. Carter came back with a huge bottle of pills. “You two are so disturbingly cute.” She put the pills on the table. “Two pills every two hours until the bottle is empty. You should have enough for a week and a half. You’ve already been signed out. Goodbye.” And with that, she walked out the door.
“Rude!”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Petey. Petey? C'mon it’s time to wake up.” Peter rubbed his face into his pillow and relaxed. A finger poked his side. “Peeeeteeeey.”“Mmmm…” Peter fluttered his hand weakly as Wade pulled the blanket down to his waist, exposing his bare chest. A delicious moan left his lips as Wade attached his mouth to his neck and sucked, his teeth scraping gently over his skin before licking his way down to Peter’s chest. His eyes were closed, enjoying the sensations that Wade was making him feel.Gently, Wade licked around Peter’s left nipple, running his tongue over the sensitive nub before kissing his way down Peter’s abdomen. Peter let out a whimper. A second later Wade tore his mouth away from Peter’s stomach.A moment when the only sound was Peter’s harsh breathing. “Are you awake yet?” Peter’s eyes were still closed; and yet he could practically see his smug grin. “Fucking bastard!”“Great! I’m making you breakfast, I have your clothes and back brace prepared, your wheelchair ready and a nice bath ready! All I need is for my baby boy to wakey wakey!”Peter opened his eyes, prepared to glare Wade out, only to be met with a half naked Wade who had his mask on. Reaching up, he was about to pull off the mask when Wade caught his fingers. It must be a bad day then, a day when Wade’s cancer rose to the surface and made Wade self conscious. It happened every few weeks, making Wade cover whichever piece of skin was afflicted at that time. Surprisingly, it was the second time that week that it had happened. Peter thought maybe it was stress related.And through all that, the pain it must be causing him (and even though Wade downplayed his pain, Peter knew it must hurt like hell), Wade was still taking care of him.He sighed, his annoyance draining away. Pulling Wade up to him, he slid his hand over his shoulders, feeling the bumps and valleys that littered Wade’s skin. Kissing the side of his mask, Peter finally decided to get up.The next half hour was filled with Wade and Peter in the bathtub doing nonsexy things. Peter was just happy that the attack had happened on a Friday. So now it was Monday and the most obvious of his injuries (broken foot, broken ankle, he had new skin on his body) were gone. Draining the last of the water, Wade lifted Peter out and toweled him down, his grin visible through his mask when Peter shuddered.“Brat.”“Oh can I be Sasha? She’s sassy!”“You’re thinking of Yasmin.”“Who is Sasha then?”“She’s the nice one.”“I always like the nice ones.”“Flattery doesn’t change the fact that you’re a brat.”“But Peteeeeey…” Pouty Wade put his head on Peter’s shoulder and nuzzled it.“If you want to make it up to me….” Peter trailed off with a sly smile.“Pancakes?”“Pancakes.”—————-“Oh my gosh.” Peter grimaced at Mary Jane’s gaping expression as Wade helped him out of the car. Kissing Peter on the top of his head and waving an enthusiastic hello, Wade got in his car and drove away. He didn’t like being out in public on bad days.“What happened?!” She asked walking over and grabbing his handles on the chair and wheeling him towards the natural science building. He smiled at her over his shoulder. “Well I was at the zoo,” he started. “Me and Wade were in the Safari Zone when all of a sudden one of the rhinos got loose and went on a rampage! So, being the awesome rhino wrangler I am, I tried to catch it. I got trampled instead.”“So you got trampled…by a rhino. Seriously, do you expe-““What the fuck, Parker!” Peter smiled and watched as MJ ran and gave a kiss to her boyfriend, Flash Thompson.Peter and Flash, while they had a rocky, and mostly, abusive past, had buried the hatchet when Flash had bonded with the alien symbiote Venom. Yet even before that, Flash had been working to be a better person after getting saved by Spiderman. So when S.H.I.E.L.D. had approached Spidey about taking out the new Venom host and saving a lot of people a lot of trouble, Peter had asked if he could train him and turn him into an agent instead. The time working together had let them get to know each other as brothers at arms, instead of the bane of the others existence.“Hey Flash.” Peter gave a limp wave.“What the fuck happened to you?” he said, taking MJ’s bag and sliding it over his shoulder.“Peter says he was trampled by a rhino at the zoo.”“I actually got pummeled by a motorized steel death trap.” Flash raised an eyebrow. “I got hit by a car.”“Oh thank goodness. For a second there I thought I was gonna to have to look out for stampeding African wildlife.” MJ said, pressing a hand to her chest dramatically. Both boys snorted.“Well this is where I leave you boys.” MJ said, reclaiming her bag with a kiss. “Bye Sugar. Bye Tiger.”Leaving both boys in front of the Nat. Sciences building, she began her long trek to the Drama Department.“I can’t believe you broke up with her.” Flash said, taking over MJ’s position and wheeling Peter into the building.“More like a mutual break up based on her last kidnapping.”“Yeah mortal danger can put strain on a relationship huh?”They went into the classroom. “So what really happened?” Flash asked as they took their seats“Rhino caught me and decided to turn me into a piñata. That’s about the entire story.”“How long are you out of action?”“For just over a week. I wish I wasn’t though. Its almost St. Patrick’s day. All the weirdoes come out around then.” Peter said, remembering the year before when he and Wade had had to round up a bunch of streakers on Park Avenue. “Hey did you hear that Fury asked me and Wade to mentor some newbies?”Flash snorted. “Yeah. It’s all anyone could talk about yesterday. I hear he also approached Daredevil and the Captain about it too. I think it’s a good idea. I mean so many of these kids are the same age you were when you started. And they don’t have even close to the same skills or powers or…” Flash trailed off.“You’re pretty passionate about this huh?”
“You were there for me when me and Venom bonded. You helped train us. If it wasn’t for you I would have been swallowed alive. But now I’m in college. I have a job and I make a difference. This is more than I ever thought I would have. You made me want to be more than I thought I could be. I think Fury sees that. He sees how you bring out the best in people. And for those of us that have powers, it’s more important for us to strive for our best.”Peter blinked and turned his head away, his eyes mysteriously wet.“So, um…” he said, trying to change the subject. “Speaking of Venom, where is he?” As far as Peter knew, Flash and Venom couldn’t separate from each other.Flash grinned and held his arms out, showing off the supposed black leather bands on his wrists. The bands flexed for a moment before going still. “We’re working on different textures and tints.”“You sound like a little kid with Play-Do.”“The best Play-Do!”“Alright, settle down.” Dr. Patil said, taking her place at the front. “Today we will- Mr. Parker what happened?!” the Doctor asked, gaping at him. The entire class turned to him.“I got hit by an underdeveloped triceratops.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Hey there Petey-pie!” Wade exclaimed, sticking his head out of the kitchen. The smell of fajitas and tortillas filling the air. He still had his mask on, but it was a good sign that he sounded so cheerful. He even had on the pink frilly Lolita monstrosity he had sewn that he called an apron. “Come on in babe.” Wade said, ducking back in. “Coming.” Peter said, wheeling his chair down the path in the living room that Wade had cleared for him. “It’s the little things.” Peter thought.
Reaching the kitchen, Peter’s eyes widened at the pretty and romantic table setting. There was a simple white table cloth, their nicest plates (that they had gotten from Aunt May for Christmas), simple candles melted into the necks of wine bottles, wine glasses filled with something dark and red. There were strands of their Christmas lights strung around the room with little golden stars strung on them. It was beautiful and felt magical.
“What’s the occasion?” Peter asked warily, running through all the important dates in his head. He hoped he hadn’t forgotten any.
“No reason. i just wanna spoil my bae. So relax babe. Just sit back and relax.”
Wade served the fajitas and sat. He made no move to take off his mask.
“Wade.” Peter said gently, wheeling around to his side. Turning his lover’s face towards him, Peter started to take the mask off. As the wounds appeared, he flinched at the thought of his lover going through all that pain.
Crisscrossing his head and going down his face were lines and spots of bright red sores which were just healing over with new skin. The skin around them was stretched and shiny. Thick white scaring was forming over a couple, but many were still the dull red of open wounds.He set the mask down and lifted Wade’s head so that their eyes could meet. A lot like how his scars were always shifting, his eyes changed colors randomly as the pigments in his eyes were chemically altered. On some days they could be brown or blue or green. But some days, like today, his eyes took on vibrant colors that weren’t normally seen. A dark, inky purple, almost black at the edges, met his own chocolate brown.
“Hey.” He smiled.
“Hey.” Wade croaked.
“I made a new batch of that ultra grade Novocaine in the lab today. Topical always works for longer than anything inhaled or ingested.” Peter said as his fingers hovered millimeters above the deep sore behind his left ear. He could feel the changes in the skin as Wade’s supersonic healing made and subsequently destroyed the new cells as it also replicated the cancer cells that were killing the healthy ones.
Wade huffed a laugh. “Petey-pie, when you’re at school you should focus on your science, not your severely disfigured beau.”
Peter frowned. “One, don’t talk about yourself like that. Two, what makes you think I was doing it for you? I happen to have received a one-hundred percent for being able to synthesize such a complex compound.”
Wade laughed and kissed Peter’s head. “Because I know you, you lovable lil shit.” They ate their fajitas as they talked about their days (Dr. Villaczech was even more crotchety than usual today.”) (”I was offered a rescue mission by the Army. Apparently they misplaced several dozen kilos of weapons grade palladium.”).
Afterwards, they made their way to their bedroom where, after donning his Spidey gloves, Peter applied the heavy duty pain killer to Wade’s flesh. Slowly, Wade fell asleep as Peter continued down his neck to his back, he knew he should probably stay awake to help take care of Petey, but it felt so damn good that he just passed out under Peter’s skilled fingers.Peter smiled as the tension bled out of Wade’s body. Not for the first time, Peter wished that he had Wade’s healing factor, if only so that broken bones were set minutes after being broken, and that his life wasn’t always in danger. As he slowly and carefully changed for bed, his mind went back to the problem of him dating an immortal man, and how he would one day leave him permanently and unwillingly. If only he could boost his healing factor…
Peter shook his head. Those thoughts could wait for a few more years. For now he was going to enjoy life with his boyfriend. Questioning his not-so-frail mortality could wait. It was a tomorrow Petey problem.—“So I don’t have school today.” It was the next morning and Wade and Peter were sprawled out on the bed. Well, as sprawled as one could be when they had a compression brace on their back and weren’t allowed to twist.“Oh?” Wade said, tracing his fingers along the scar on Peter’s hip he had given Peter the first time they had met. “Yeah. I was thinking…” Peter turned his head and looked at Wade. “Maybe we should look at those personnel files?”
“I dunno Petey.” Wade turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I mean why would anyone think that i could be a role model for a young person? I have nothing to teach them. I-” wade was cut off by Peter slapping a hand over his mouth.
“Wade Winston Wilson.” He growled, frowning at him with all his might.“Oh, now you’re getting nasty!” Wade said, pulling the hand over his mouth into both of his, tracing the lines with his thumb.Peter’s glare got stronger. It was super effective.{Ooooh Petey upset….}
[He doesn’t like the self deprecation thing we have going on.]
“I don’t like that self deprecation thing you have going on.”
“Ha! White was right!” Wade paused. “Oh, shit. That sounded racist huh? I am so sorry readers. Writer lady is hopped up on espresso and very stream of consciousness while writing and her word vomit ends up coming through me. Hehe, coming…”
“Wade!”
Wade’s attention was brought back down to Peter. He sighed. “Look Petey, I know you think i have something to offer, but what, besides unaliving people, can I do?”
Peter smirked. “Stealth tactics, weight distribution, hand to hand combat, medical training, weapons training, multilingual.” Peter rattled off. “And that’s just the stuff I can think of off the top of my head. Give me some time and I could probably come up with enough to fill an entire book with.”
Peter met Wades eyes. “You know things. Things like how to take care of yourself in the desert, and how to perfectly stitch a knife wound. Survival stuff, how to track in both urban and rural areas. I’m not saying we should definitely take on this responsibility. I’m saying that we should at least take a look. Please?”
Wade held out for all of five seconds before letting out a sobbing laugh. “Damn you and those doe eyes.” He wiped his eyes. “Man, you sure know how to make a girl feel special.”
Peter chuckled and kissed Wades cheek. “I know how to take care of my princess.”Wade squealed. “Who? Muah?” He placed his hand daintily on his chest. “Well,” he turned on his side and cocked a hip, “I do look good in a dress.”
Peter giggled and Wade raised an eyebrow. “Of course, so do you. And you are more feminine than me.”Peter blushed and sputtered. “W-Wade!” he said, a frown forming. “I am not feminine! I’m a compact build!”
“Uh huh.”
“I am!”“Petite.”
“Wade!”——-
Ten minutes later they were curled up together on the couch, large pillows and blankets covering them and tea and coffee keeping them warm. Either mother nature was pissed, or Ms. Monroe was pissed, or Thor had come back to town. Either way, there was a thunderstorm in early March (a complete contrast to the apocalyptic weather that had sent sunbathers to the beach in February.)
The blinds were drawn, and the box was sitting on the table. It was actually one of Fury’s fabled Cubes, the ones that had supposedly saved the most classified and protected documents from being dumped onto the web during the reveal of Hydra in SHIELD ranks.
“Ready?”
“Ready baby cakes.”
Peter rolled his eyes.”Activate Cube.” Fine lines of blue power glowed as the Cube powered up. the top half split in two, a projection being thrown into midair showing the SHIELD eagle. “Access files. Code-name: Spiderman.” His symbol appeared on screen briefly as his voice print was identified. The screen went blank, then four files appeared on screen.Powerman.
White Tiger.
Nova.
Iron Fist.
“Which first?” Peter asked. Wade pointed at each in turn. “Eeny. Meany. Miny. Mo.” His finger landed on White Tiger. “Felines first.”
Peter chuckled as he opened the holographic file. There was no personal data, just the fact that she was Female, 17, and went to Midtown High. Peter felt a roar of relief. He just didn’t feel right reading someone’s personal file without their consent.
Her form flared up in a training video. They watched as she took down the training bots. Her fighting style was a lot like Spiderman’s hand to hand combat style. She was fast, her claws slashing through metal like a hot knife through butter.Peter looked at her file again. “So apparently her powers are based around that green amulet attached to her belt. There’s also a note here.” Peter read aloud. “It has been noted that possession of the Jade Tiger Amulet has been passed through familial routes. However, it is possible for someone to take and use the amulet. The past two White Tigers have been incapacitated. The last white tiger was her cousin who was driven insane by the power of the amulet. The one before that, her father…” Peter paused, horror and disgust welling up in him. “Her father was killed by Kraven the Hunter.”Wade nodded. “Sounds like something he would do.”
Peter nodded, turning his attention back to the video. “She’s already very good. It says in her file that she doesn’t exactly work well with others. Something about defying authority? And yet she fights within perfect SHIELD regulations.”
“Well look at you. You tend to do the whole solo Avenger thing unless it’s someone you like.” Peter shot him a dirty look. “Next.”
The next file was Nova’s. His video file popped up. It became clear that Peter and Wade were going to have to work with him.“He goes charging in as though he has support, which he doesn’t. Ooh he left his left open.”
Peter flinched as Nova was thrown up against the wall. “He’s not even trying to defend.” Peter looked at the file. “He was recruited to the Nova corps at nine years old?! What the actual hell? Oh….oh.” Peter trailed off.
“Petey? Babe?”
“The entire Nova Corps was destroyed. Apparently, one of their own got his helmet destroyed. He went insane and tried to steal one from someone else. He ended up slaughtering the entire corps. Nova is the last.” Peter looked back up at the vid. “This happened when he was thirteen. After he escaped the carnage, he ended up traveling for three years with the GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY?!” Peter’s mouth hung open. “Do you think he could get me to see Groot?” Peter asked. Wade could practically see him salivating.“Ohemgee you are such an adorable nerd.” Wade sighed, pressing his hands to his heart. Peter blushed and muttered a small shut up.
Next was Powerman. His was a story that was all to familiar to the pair of heroes. Powerman had been in juvie when he had decided to turn his life around. Deciding to help his mom by pulling his own weight, he had volunteered for an experiment which was supposed to give him powers similar to Captain America.
An abusive guard, who had taken an unpleasant liking (in the worst possible way) to Powerman had messed with the experiment when the scientist had stepped away. Now the seventeen year old had impenetrable skin and super strength.
Last was Iron Fist. “K’un L’un? Where is that?” Peter asked, wrinkling his face in thought as he tried to remember if he had ever heard of it.
“Well technically it’s everywhere since it’s a pocket dimension, but really the only place it’s ever been seen is in the Himalayas.”
Peter raised an eyebrow. “And how do you know that?”
Wade shrugged. “I traveled a lot remember?”“Oh yeah. You actually did stuff before you met me!”
“Ha ha babe. Keep that humor sharp.”
“Oh don’t worry. I will.” A pause. “So. K’un L’un?”
“Oh yeah! So anyways, they have this deity and when you finish your training with the monks or whatever, they send you to test yourself against their giant dragon god.” Wade nodded towards the video of Iron Fist tearing through his bot opponents. “I can only assume he beat the test.”
Peter slumped back. "Okay so we have four very powerful, very kick butt teens who need teachers.” Peter looked up at Wade. “Well? What do you think?”
Wade was quiet for a while, watching the videos loop. It's was okay though. Peter knew Wade was sorting through his shit. There was a lot going on in that chiseled head of his (despite what some titanium alloy clad heroes might say).
So while Wade thought about it, Peter drank his now lukewarm tea.A few minutes later Wade finally spoke. “I…” He took a breath. “I’m still sure that I’m gonna screw this shit up. But!” He almost shouted as he saw Peter open his mouth in retort. “But… I am willing to give it a go. And this obviously has nothing to do with the training plans and ideas I came up with while watching them. Nope, not a bit.”
Peter chuckled, pulling Wade to him so he could place a kiss in his lips. “No. Of course not.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“Freedom!” Peter yelled, opening the door and rolling into their little apartment before getting up and doing a cartwheel over the couch. He was cleared. He was free! He was so happy. After an entire week and a half of sitting in that damn wheelchair, Peter could honestly say that he had never loved Linda Carter more than the very moment she said he could take off the brace and leave the wheelchair behind. He could run and jump and climb again. Which was good because he had never felt more caged than when he was confined to that chair.
He still needed it for day to day Peter Parker, but that night he and Wade were going on their first patrol in two weeks. And a few days later, they would be starting their mentorship thingy. Good week.
Wade put on his best Ryan Seacrest voice. “Congratulations, you have just healed from one helluva ass kicking. What are you going to do now?”
Peter grinned. “Weeeell…” Peter walked over and pulled himself up to Wade’s ear. The merc’s eyes got wider and his mouth fell open. Peter pulled back and smirked as Wade whimpered.
{Damn son…}
[Fuck me.]
{We ain’t the ones getting fucked tonight!}
[Is he gonna be able to walk tomorrow?]
{Probably not. It’s okay though. We can be his legs.}
[Mmm best idea you ever had. Just imagine, our dick in his ass…]
{Legs over our arms…}
[Held up against a wall…]
{Pushing back on us…}
[Keeping us warm with that nice little hole of his.]
“Fuuuuck…” Wade groaned dropping his head onto Peter’s shoulder.
“Something wrong babe?” Peter asked, smiling innocently. Wade didn’t believe it for a second.
Peter had learned long ago that the best way to get the merc turned on was to suggest something filthy and let the boxes run away with their frankly incredible imagination. They may be frenemies to Wade, but they seemed to love Peter.
Wade growled and bit Peter’s ear. “What a tempting little morsel,” he said as he pushed Peter, firm but gentle, back against the wall. “Mmnot little.” Peter groaned as Wade bit down on his shoulder.
“Of course you are. You’re just the right size for me to have my way with.” Wade said, dropping to his knees. Running his hands down Peter’s shoulders to his hips, he pinned Peter with one hand while trying to open his jeans with the other. He wasn’t making it easy though, he kept having to bat his hands away as Peter kept trying to drag him up to kiss him. Finally, he got them open and pulled them down. Ignoring Peter’s cock for now, he attached his mouth to the side of his stomach, biting and licking his way down to his hip. Wade smirked as he thought of all the wonderful ways to help Petey get back that little bit of muscle tone he had lost while hurt.
Peter was gasping, his head swimming with a delicious haze. Wade was playing his body like a finely tuned instrument, every movement getting them both more and more excited. Hands, Wade’s hands, were running over his body. His arms, his hips, his chest, little nips and sucks to skin. “Tease!” Peter gasped, earning a sharp nip on his inner thigh. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Wade put Peter’s cock in his mouth.
Swallowing his entire cock down in one gulp, Wade had to admit that in this case, Peter was not small. He would forever be Wade’s beloved twinky-twink, compact and, despite what Peter said, petite, but he certainly wasn’t small.
Peter gasped as he felt Wade’s mouth around him. He loved Wade’s mouth. He loved everything about it. From the slightly chapped lips (which were always chapped no matter how much water or chapstick Peter pushed on Wade), to the light scarring on the inside that made Wade’s mouth perfectly textured. Not what what most people thought of when they said the “merc with the mouth”, but gods did Peter love Wade’s mouth.
Wade kept licking around and around, then sucking harshly, only to soothe the sensitive skin with more licks.
Pulling back so only the tip was in, constantly being licked by that textured tongue, the tip of which dipped behind his head and traced the vein back and forth. Up and down. Peter was a mess.
While doing that, Wade reached out and pulled a bottle of lube out from where it was taped under the table. Squirting a bit onto his hand, he reached behind Petey and stroked his forefinger over his tight little hole. After a few minutes, lots of stroking and more lube, Wade finally had his entire index finger in. And boy did it feel good.
They hadn’t had anything but oral sex for almost two weeks, so of course his ass was tight. But it was also warm, and silky, so of course Wade sat there for a few extra minutes, keeping Peter on the edge with his sucking while he stroked the soft inner walls of his ass. Eventually though, he just had to squeeze a second finger in, lube making a naughty squelching noise every time he pulled out. Or pushed in. Or twisted his fingers. Oh it was all kinds of raunchy, especially when paired with Peter’s ongoing moans, groans, and whimpers.
Wade managed to get three fingers in before he accidentally hit Peter’s prostate. And man oh man it was like a switch had been flipped. Peter let out a strangled scream as he came. And came. And oh gods Wade was practically milking him, strong fingers stroking his prostate as said merc sucked on his cock as though it was a fucking milkshake. Peter finally finished as Wade stopped sucking, although the he still had his fingers filling him up.
Wade stood up, his hand still buried between Peter’s legs, and pulled his baby boy into a kiss, their tongues stroking each other softly. Peter groaned softly as he tasted himself on Wade’s lips.
Wade pulled his fingers out of Peter, leading him over to the couch. Sitting down, he pulled a very pliant Peter into his lap. Lubing himself, he slowly entered, groaning as Peter’s ass squeezed around him. Smirking he reached for the remote. “Diamonds are Forever?” He asked Peter, who had leaned back and was now using Wade as a full body pillow.
“Mmmmm.” Peter said, his eyes closing. Wade smirked and rolled his hips, jostling Pete awake. “Nuh uh Petey Pie.” He said, ignoring Peter’s bleary glare. He loved how sometimes their fuck sessions would last only one round and both of them would be exhausted. Or, in the case of extreme opposites, they could last for hours and never seem to be enough.
And then there were the times when one of them was particularly needy, like now. Yeah Peter looked sleepy, and boy that glare was terrifying, but the way he was squeezing his muscles around Wade said that he wanted to go as long as possible. Wade was good at reading Petey.————-
“Wade I swear if you say George Lazenby is the greatest Bond again I will jump off this dick and go pleasure myself with a dildo.”
Wade grinned and thrust up. Peter squeaked. "You have to admit babe, the fact that he is the only Bond to actually get married in the series is pretty fucking awesome.“
Peter bounced in place, riding Wade and throwing his arms around his neck. "You know what’s even more awesome? A movie that doesn’t fade into cinematic obscurity. For fucks sake nobody even remembers On Her Majesty’s Secret Service! Nothing about the plot, nothing about the villain or the wife! It’s like Avatar. People know it exists. It’s beautifully done. And it makes absolutely no impact on the human race.”
“That’s because it’s overshadowed by Sean Connery and-” Wade groaned as he came for a third time. “And Sir Roger Moore. It’s a good movie. It has it’s own thing going on.” Wade reached down and stroked Peter, his thumb rubbing over the head. It only took a few tugs before Peter was cumming for the fourth time with violent twitches and small spurts.
“You know why they have good movies?” Peter gasped as he collapsed. He was done. Tired. He needed rest before patrol. “Because they listened to the studio.”
“So the dude didn’t want to shave his beard! We have ole Danny boy running’ around scruffy as fuck and people drool over him!”
Peter rolled his eyes. “Wade, back then men were supposed to be clean shaven. Now, scruffy is the new black.”
“Whatever. Hey if we’re talking about movies that have no impact let’s talk about The Last Airbender!”
Peter pulled himself off Wade, standing on rather wobbly legs. “Oh hell no. That movie definitely had an impact. It absolutely butchered the source material, Katara and Sokka were white as fuck, Aang’s name rhymed with "bong”, “thong”, “Donkey Kong”, and “ping pong”. Oh and don’t get me started on the fucking firebenders!“ Peter ranted, getting a soft towel to clean them both up. "I mean damn. Why didn’t M. Night Shyamalan just write a whole other story. Why did he have to butcher the childhood of millions?”
“Because he’s the devil incarnate? I guess I should have taken that hit after all.”
“Someone wanted you to kill M. Night Shyamalan?” Peter asked, eyebrow raised.
Wade nodded, serious face on his face. “A lot of people were mad about Last Airbender. Lots.”
Peter snorted. “Well now I’ve heard everything.”———-
“I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!”
“Deadpool, if you don’t stop singing that song I will push you off the Chrysler Building.”
Peter was ignoring the awestruck people in line and focusing on his boyfriend who had been singing that stupid song since they had swung together over Time Square where there had been shouts of joy as they saw their hero was okay. Peter didn’t even want to know where Wade had gotten that much glitter.
“But Spidey…” The patrons were all gaping now. “Why wouldn’t you like that song?”
“I do like that song. But you’ve been singing it for almost four hours now. And if you-”
“Hello Spiderman, Hello Deadpool. Trouble in paradise?” Spiderman and Deadpool both turned. Standing behind the counter was a beautiful young woman with long black hair shot through with white streaks. She was grinning and her brown eyes were twinkling happily. She had a round face and small body… But she almost seemed different for some reason…. Peter almost choked when he saw it. There at the corner of her left eye was three little spots that hadn’t been there a few weeks ago. Three little spots that belonged to….
Peter grabbed Wade’s wrist. “Hey Maria.” He said, putting a stress on her name. “We’re doing fine if you ignore the fact that Deadpool can’t quit singing a song again.”
“So everything is normal.” She said, putting in their usual order. “Thirty tacos with extra pico de gallo and cilantro coming right up.” She took Wade’s card, which he handed her mechanically. He finally spoke. “H-hey foxy lady. What’s up with the stripes?”
She giggled and raised a hand to them. “I dunno. I woke up a few days ago, looked in the mirror and poof! I wanted white streaks. Why, do you think it looks weird?”
“Nah!” Wade said, flapping his hand back and forth like an anime character. “Looks natural on you. Like you were make for them stripes. Just be sure to do them justice! Be fierce!” He struck a pose, like a model on a catwalk. Peter rolled his eyes and poked him off balance.
“How can you be flawless in heels and clumsy on foot?” He asked the sprawled merc. “And he’s right. The white looks good on you.”
She laughed. “Alright weirdos, your order will be ready soon.” She paused. Then she leaned in and whispered, “Your usual booth is occupied. But I think you should sit there anyways.” She shooed them off then.
Walking back they could see what she meant. Their usual booth was in a corner that could see out onto the street and see the entire cafe. It was indeed occupied. By a very pretty young woman who couldn’t be more than fifteen who was gaining some very inappropriate attention via the men in black who were two booths down. And she obviously knew they were looking. She had that whole cornered rabbit thing going on.
“As I was saying,” Peter said. She stiffened when Peter and Wade slid into the booth with her, straight across so she couldn’t see the men. “If you keep singing that song, I will really have no choice but to hide Drumline.”
Wade gasped, biting a knuckle theatrically. “You wouldn’t!”
“I would.”
“You can hide nothing from me forever!”
Peter smirked. “Have you found Titanic yet?”
The glare that Wade leveled at him was breathtaking. Truly it was. Even if he couldn’t see it. “I will find it.”
“Good luck. It’s been three months and nothing?”
“Can you believe this guy?!” He asked, turning to their young companion. “I mean what kind of heartless jerk hides a love story?” He cuts her off before she could reply. “I’ll tell you who! Someone who laughed at the ending!”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Oh come on!” Peter said, his movie rant coming back strong. “That ending was shit! All over dramatic "I’ll never let go!” and then she lets go and seriously? They both totally could have fit on that door.“
"Order sixty-nine your foods ready. Order sixty-nine.” Peter got up in a huff.
The girl was laughing, smothering it behind her hand. Wade took that time to get a good look at her. She had yellow eyes layered with reddish gold starbursts. She had long red hair and a large spattering of freckles all over her face. She looked warm, like the sun. But there were shadows under her eyes, and bruises on her neck that were almost gone. She was tense too. Tense like she was expecting someone to come out and attack her. With all the anti-mutant sentiment lately Wade didn’t blame her.
{She’s so pretty!}
[Who would want to hurt a sweet looking girl like her?]
{Asshats that would only see a mutant with power they couldn’t understand, not a girl who’s barely old enough to be in high school.}
[Woah. Where did this new Yellow come from?]
{I really hate anti-mutant people. They don’t care who they hurt as long as the world fits into their own narrow minded belief system. But who cares about other people’s emotions and beliefs when you are so fucking sure you’re right?}
[This new facet of Yellow scares and intrigues me.]
{Waffles?}
[And he’s back. And here I thought I’d finally have intellectual conversations.]
{Hey!}
His eyes were drawn back to the girl when he saw her stiffen, her eyes tracking someone who seemed to be coming closer. He wrinkled his nose at the overbearing scent of axe body spray. He saw her do the same.
“Yo girl, why weren’t you on the corner?” Three wannabe gangsters walked up, standing over the table like they were tough shit. Wade hated them on sight. Not just because of their lack of class, even though you don’t just roll up on a lady like that. No he hated them cause that pretty open expression disappeared and was replaced with worry lines and hard eyes.
“I wasn’t there cause I don’t wanna be there, Tito.” She said, her voice a growl.
“The fuck does that mean?” The wannabe gangsta demanded leaning forward on the table. Wade kicked his legs out from under him, his head slamming onto the corner table with a thud.
“Hey why don’t you leave the young lady alone. She obviously don’ wan’ go with you brah.” Wade said, playing with the salt shaker, loosening and tightening the cap.
“Who the fuck are you? Some Spiderman wannabe?” Tito asked, rubbing the cut on his forehead. He hissed with pain as he rubbed the small grains stuck to his hand into the wound.
“Oh now that’s cruel! I thought everyone knew my name!” Wade stood up, towering over the kids with his arms folded. An air of danger seemed to flow out of him, focused forward towards the kids. “I’m Deadpool.”
The kids blanched. Apparently they had heard of him. But he was getting annoyed with these mofo’s. Time to chase them off. “Now if you don’t want to have to explain to a doctor how my detached foot ended up in your ass, you’d better take your junior thug asses back home where they belong.”
“He would do it too.” The boys whipped their heads around to see Spidey with a plastic platter piled high with tacos, tapatio and pico de gallo. “I’ve seen him bring rocks to life by stuffing brains in them. Reality bends around him. He could totally find a way to fit his foot up there. And I would let him. Now please leave the nice lady alone.” The boys whipped their heads between the two. Finally, the made for the door. But not without “promising that they don’t know who they were dealing with yada yada yada…”.
Wade grabbed the tray with an exclamation of delight and started dividing the tacos. Peter smiled, especially when he saw Wade pushed a small pile of tacos towards the girl. She looked up at them like she thought it was a joke. But Wade would never do that. Definitely not Wade. He may act like a giant asshole, but was really caring. He didn’t do hits on people that had families (except sometimes. But sometime they were better off without the scum), he didn’t kill animals, and he took care of kids.
Because while Peter had appointed himself protector of the city, Wade had appointed himself protector of the people who had nowhere else to go. The ones who couldn’t help themselves. And when everything else failed, Wade Fucking Wilson would get the job done. Sometimes for less than it takes to buy a pudding cup….unless he wants the pudding cup (that had actually happened once. In fact their fridge seemed to fill up a lot with miscellaneous food products. They had four bottles of Sriracha sauce and like ten catfish stacked in their freezer).
The girl finally took a bite, and they could both see the extreme happiness that came with the small hard shelled delight. Peter looked at Wade, hoping he wasn’t so self conscious that he couldn’t eat. He wanted to heave a sigh of relief as Wade rolled up his mask and took a bite. Happy Wade was confident today, Peter did the same. It was only after her fifth one that she spoke. “Did you really bring rocks to life with brains?”
Peter choked on his taco while Wade laughed so loud everyone turned and looked at them. “Yeah I did. The brains of Millennials. And technically they were already alive. I just gave them brain capacity.” He eventually said.
She looked down and said “Cool.” before taking a bite.
Silence reigned for a couple minutes. Wade ended up being the one who broke the silence. “So what’s a lovely young lady such as yourself doing hanging around this crappy joint?”
Peter rolled his eyes. “Tactful, Wade. Really.” Wade shrugged.
The girl shrugged and opened another taco, drowning it in salsa and hot sauce. “My dad kicked me out when my mutation presented itself.”
Wade’s mouth had set in a hard line. He hated when families turned away their relatives because of superficial shit like that. So your kid grew wings. He’s still the same kid who gorged himself on sugar at five years old.
“So what’s your power?” Peter asked, leaning forward.
“I’m basically a human microwave.” She said. She grabbed the cup of cheap coffee that she had been nursing when they had shown up. Closing her eyes, she managed to boil the liquid in five seconds flat.
“Woah.” Peter said.
“Yeah. First time it happened I blew up the TV. When he noticed my eyes, my dad told me I had thirty minutes to get out of his house. That was a month ago.”
“So where have you been sleeping?” Wade asked.
“And have you been eating okay?” “You know there are safe spots you can go to that-” they were cut off by her giggle.
“What?” They both said.
“You’re like parents!” She gasped. She laughed for a few more seconds before answering. “I’ve been staying at a homeless shelter. And yeah I’ve been eating when I can afford it. But right now I’m saving up. Hopefully soon I’ll have enough to buy a ticket to take me to Genosha.”
“So you want to go to Genosha?” Wade asked.
“Well there’s nowhere else that a mutant can go and be relatively safe.” She said, frowning at them.
“What if we told you there was a school in upstate New York that takes in mutants who’ve been kicked out of their homes? A school that teaches you to control your powers.” Peter said. She frowned and looked down at her cup of sludge.
“I’d ask what the catch is.” She eventually said.
“You’d have to room with someone, put up with goody goody busy bodies what like to tell you what to do, and your house will blow up at least once every year and somehow manage to be rebuilt with ivy on the walls. Like seriously! I looked it up! It takes like a year for ivy to mature enough to climb walls!”
Both Peter and the girl looked at him blankly for a moment before ignoring him. “Anyways, you live on the property which doubles as both school and base for the X-men.”
“The X-men? I thought they were a myth, an urban legend. You know, like Sasquatch.”
“Oh he’s real alright!” Wade said, leaning forward. “He’s super hairy, heals super fast, rides a motorcycle-”
“Okay! So yeah, definitely not a myth.” Peter said, hoping Logan never heard what he had said.
“Yeah but would they take me? I mean I’m not exactly…” She trailed off. “I mean, I’ve done what I can to survive… Do you think they’d hold that against me?” She asked, her head hanging.
“Oh Angel, baby, they were after me for years to join their super secret boyband. And before I met Spider-babe I was not what you’d call "hero” material.“
"Mmm… Wait. How do you know my name?” She asked, a confused look on her face that was mirrored by Wade’s mask.
“Que?” Wade asked, a confused look on his mask that was mirrored by her face.
“My name. How do you know it?”
“What did I say?”
“You called her Angel.”
“Cause she looks like an angel!”
“So your name is Angel?” Peter asked.
She nodded. “Yeah. My full name is Angelica Jones.”
“Well nice to meet you Angel. I’m Spiderman.” “And I’m Spiderman’s beau!”
“I know. That’s why I’m trusting you with my story.”
Peter put a hand to his chest and heaved a dramatic sigh. “Oh thank goodness. For a while there I thought you might have no sense of self preservation.” He stuck his thumb in his boyfriend’s direction. “Like him”
“Dafuq? I do so have a sense of self preservation!” Wade said, looking at Peter. He didn’t need to see his face to know that Peter’s eyebrow was lifted Spock style. “Okay, so maybe I rush in without thinking. Sometimes.” He said. Peter smirked and turned back to Angel.
“So do you want to check out the school? Or do you still want to go to Genosha? If you still want to go, we know a reputable ship that frequently carries mutants back and forth. They treat their passengers pretty well. The captain only asks that you help keep her ship in running condition.”
“What if I don’t like it at the school?” Angel asked. “Will they let me go to Genosha?”
“He might not want you to, but the Professor would let you go. Although I’m sure you’ll love it there.”
She spent the next ten minutes thinking. Peter didn’t blame her, it was a big decision. So while she weighed her options, and Wade had a heated whispered discussion with the boxes on the proposed Mutant Registration Act, Peter ate his tacos.
“Okay.” Wade stopped talking, and Peter looked up from the text he had been about to send Aunt May.
“Okay?” Wade asked.
“Okay.” She said, nodding firmly. “I’ll try this school out. If it doesn’t work out I’ll go to Genosha.”
Peter nodded. “You won’t be disappointed.” He said.
Wade whooped! “Okay! Let’s get this pretty princess home!” He slipped out under the table. He pointed towards the door. “Onward!”
Angel laughed and Peter rolled his eyes. By now the cafe was closed and Maria was the last employee there. “Bye guys!” She called, wiping down the tables. “Don’t be strangers!”
“Laters vessy vessy Va-v-very sexy lady!” Wade stammered then rushed out the door.
“Ummm…”
“Don’t ask.” Peter said, waving as walked out the door.
“Bye!” Angel called out as she followed Peter.
They walked down the street until they found Wade tapping his head against a lamp post. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”
“Not stupid. I would do the same if Gwen suddenly showed up out of nowhere.” Peter said, pulling Wade away from post. Wade latched onto Peter and buried his head in his shoulder.
“What was that about?” Angel asked.
“She’s my ex fiancé and she doesn’t remember it.” Wade said, sticking his hand out and waving it frantically. A few seconds later a cab pulled up.
They all got in. “524 East 27th my good man!”
“Soo, how do get there? A bus or a plane or something?”
Peter and Wade smirked at each other. “Or something…”——–
“What do you want Scarface?”
“Well if it isn’t Negative-lightspeed Post-pubescent A-bomb!”
Ellie was about to answer when Peter interrupted. “This is Angel. She said she wants to go to the School. Think you could let her stay here till the next pick up?” Peter asked, trying to prevent one of their infamous insult battles.
She sighed. “Yeah, come on in. Nightcrawler is visiting so you can go to the mansion in the morning.” She walked back into her house, which was a sort of port between the city and the manor. She stopped Peter and Wade. “No, not you. The last time you were here you managed to switch my TV provider from DirecTV to Time Warner.”
Wade pouted, but relented. Hugging Angel really quickly, he whispered in her ear, “There’s a fuckton of secret passages out of the mansion. Have fun!”
Peter rolled his eyes, but gave her a hug too. “Have fun Angel.”
“Bye guys. Thank you for everything.” She said, before she went in. Ellie just flipped them off with a “Later loser, see ya Spidey.” before she shut the door.
“She loves me.” Wade said, smiling happily. He took Peter’s hand and pulled him onto the street where they just walked.
“It’s like she’s your female Tony.”
“Nooo there can’t be twoooo!” Wade moaned. Peter laughed. Eventually they lapsed into a comfortable silence.
“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Wade asked a few minutes later.
“I think she will be. After a small adjustment period.” Another silence…
“Do you think she’s remembering?” Peter didn’t have to ask who he meant.
“Maybe. Would it change anything if she did?”
“I…I dunno. What if she doesn’t remember enough? What if she thinks…..” He whispers the next question. “What if she thinks we’re still together? What do I do?”
“Then we’ll handle that together then.” Peter said with a confidence that he really didn’t feel. He was scared of that too.
“Together Forever?” Wade asked, a teasing smile on his mask.
Peter nodded. “Together Forever.” He promised.
Wade lifted their joined hands and kissed Peter’s hand. “What did I do to deserve you?”
Peter was about to answer when a shout for help called out through the night. “I’ll tell you later!” He said, taking off through the air.
“Perfect fucking timing.” Wade muttered as he chased after his spider.