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Smith & Mills26 September1:19 AMJordan liked control. More importantly, Jordan liked being in control, of any situation he found himself in, no matter what. It didn’t have to be complete control, but he needed access to it, to the switch; he could watch someone else controlling the situation, so long as he could easily take that control back. It didn’t thrill him, didn’t excite him the way people would assume if they knew this fact. Control simply made him feel normal. Normal, the way he’d been told, he was supposed to feel.He sat nestled in a corner booth, fingers just barely holding the heavy glass filled with ice and some clear liquid — a club soda, with a slice of lime floating among the handful of crushed ice — his eyes clear and focused on his environment. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted one, two exists that were both accessible from where he sat. He took another sip from the heavy glass, his eyes now focused on a young man standing at the bar, flirting with a woman in a red dress who was obviously out of his league. Though she smiled at him, she appeared thoroughly uninterested in him or what he had to say. He would buy her a drink, and she would accept graciously, taking the martini and with a little nod she would walk from the bar to rejoin the same group of women she’d come with. Dejected, the young man would turn back to the bartender who watched the whole scene, trying to ignore the fact that the bartender was laughing at him.Another sip. Jordan watched the whole thing happen before it actually did.“Hey, boss!”Jordan emerged from his stupor to see two, three familiar faces join him on the brown leather banquette. He didn’t smile but instead gave them each a little not, allowing them to sit with him though they weren’t going to wait for Jordan’s permission. He shifted a little against the worn brown leather, and gulped down the rest of his non-alcoholic drink. A ringing filled his ears, leaving him with nothing else but his own thoughts for the briefest moment, until the soft laughter cut through the fog and brought him back to reality. Someone slid a shot glass filled with something clear in front of him, and the three familiar faces that now sat with him wee all raising their own shot glasses.“Boss, c’mon!”Jordan had an embarrassingly low tolerance for alcohol, but figured that one drink couldn’t hurt. He raised his own shot glass and smiled at the familiar faces, smiled with them. He clinked his own glass to theirs and knocked back the shot of top-shelf tequila, surprised at how little it burned on the way down. What didn’t surprise him was how quick everyone was to refill their glasses. The bottle, which was going to be paid for collectively by everyone at the table, was passed from person to person, stopping when it got to Jordan.“No thanks,” Jordan said, holding his hand out over the glass. “One shot’s enough.” He caught the looks of protest, his friends and co-workers surrounding him in such a way that made him feel more boxed in by the second. Voices echoed, calling to him from a distance though they were all sitting right beside him.The happy expression on his face faded.“Guys.” A voice cut through the happy din that surrounded their booth. Every face looked up to see a fourth familiar one; the young woman forced a little smile on Jordan’s behalf. Before anyone could say anything, she sat at the table next to Jordan, taking his shot glass and sliding it in front of herself. “I’ll take his place in this little… circle of heavy drinkers.”Cheers erupted, and Jordan let out a silent sigh of relief. “Thanks, Laura,” he whispered, leaning over so that just she could hear him. Laura said nothing but smiled and turned to Jordan before taking her first shot.Jordan sat back and let out a soft breath. He sat back against the soft brown leather, letting out another breath; another sigh of relief. In that moment he felt like a proud father. The first episode of their brand-new political satire show had just aired, and they were all excited with the result. All of them sat at the bar, waiting it on the TV above with bated breath, even taking the time to gauge the reaction from the small crowd around them. Jordan, however, sat on the banquette, watching from a distance. It wasn’t hum on that screen but someone else, a character he was putting on for the rest of the world. It was still surreal to him, being on television in any capacity, but at least he had that prior on-screen experience. Most of the young comedians he considered his friends who he now worked with had very little on-screen experience, though their stage experience was far greater than a number of people he’d previous worked with.The show wasn’t perfect. In his mind Jordan was already making a list of what went right and what went wrong; a list he would ultimately keep to himself, but one he would refer to on a regular basis.The bartender, who’d been making eyes at Jordan all night, gave him a little smile and pointed to his wrist. With a little sigh Jordan sat up and grabbed the half-empty bottle of tequila. “Alright, kids,” Jordan ribbed. With his long legs he stepped over Laura’s laugh, carrying the bottle with him. “That sound means it’s closing time.” Groans echoed up from around the entire table, but these groans just made Jordan laughed softly to him. “Yes, yes. I know. It’s still early.” He held the bottle as if he were cradling a small animal. “If you want, go out and further enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it. Me?” Jordan shrugged his shoulders. “I’m heading home.”The groans grew in volume, but seemed to stop concurrently the instant Jordan held out a hand. He wished his friends a good night, made a joke that they all had to be at work the next morning whether they were hungover or not, and didn’t say another word before heading to the bar to pay off the tab.“Jordan.” When Laura caught up with him outside, Jordan was staring down at his phone, checking to see if the subways were running on, or as close to schedule as possible. He turned to her and smiled, but then went immediately back to his phone. Jordan’s silence didn’t surprise Laura, but it did irritate her. “Hey.” Laura cupped a hand over Jordan’s arm, noting the slight flinch of muscles through the cotton of his grey dress shirt.Jordan looked up from his phone and chuckled. “What?” he asked in return, as if the question were incredulous to begin with. “Of course I’m okay, why… why would you ask-““You don’t seem okay,” Laura returned. When Jordan didn’t respond, Laura gave her shoulders a gentle shrug. “You seem… I don’t know.”“Laura,” Jordan groaned. “I’m okay. It’s fine.”Laura narrowed her eyes. “What’s fine,” she questioned. “Jordan, what-“ She reached to cup a hand over Jordan’s shoulder, and Jordan pulled away from her without missing a beat. The flinch made her curious, but not enough to pursue it. “You’re fine,” she stated, returning his previous statement. She folded her arms tight across her chest. “Because I know you. And you don’t-““Laura,” Jordan tried to interrupt.“-seem fine.” Laura finished her thought and took a deep breath, as if she were bracing herself.“Enough!” Jordan roared. Laura took a step, a delicate step back from where Jordan stood, the bottle of tequila falling from his hands and shattering on the ground between them. She was not deterred by any of this in any way. Jordan saw Laura’s lack of complaisance, and felt another rush of anger; one that, if he were wise, if he were in the right frame of mind, he would be quick to halt.Jordan closed his eyes and took several deep breaths; an action Laura recognized immediately. Though she hesitated, she again reached out to touch Jordan’s shoulder. “Jordy.” Her voice was quiet, as if she were trying to keep a stray dog calm.“Leave me alone.” Jordan twisted his body and pulled completely away from her. “Just… just go home.”In a flash, Jordan’s entire demeanor changed. He turned, spun in place, and held his hand out in the typical hailing a cab stance. He spotted a yellow Prius slowing and then coming to a hand in front of him, and before climbing in the backseat he smiled at Laura. “Go home, Grey. You did well tonight.” And before Laura could say another word, the door slammed shut and Jordan was off.“1st St and Bedford,” Jordan told the driver. “It’s in Brooklyn.” At two in the morning there was still very little traffic, and the ride out to Williamsburg from Tribeca was quick and relatively painless. Jordan paid for the cab and offered the driver a $50 tip, not returning the smile he received for such a gesture. Instead Jordan just climbed from the Prius, took a moment to stretch his long legs, and pushed the car door closed. He stood on the sidewalk for a long moment, staring up at the four-story red brick building that, for the last several months, he’d been fortunate enough to call home.The front entrance to the building was bolted. Jordan took a deep breath, having not expected this, and punched in the code for the electronic lock that held both the regular lock and the deadbolt in place. He pushed the heavy steel-reinforced door open, letting just the single lock click automatically closed behind him. The entire building wasn’t just dark, it felt empty. No sounds came from anywhere, save for the sound of the refrigerator kicking on in the kitchen on the second floor. In a flash, Jordan remembered the day before; coming back from a long run on an unseasonably warm September afternoon; only to find two suitcases and three bankers boxes filled with box and papers stacked up by the front door. Jordan’s eyes flew open at the sigh, panic washing over him like a tsunami.“Josie, wait,” Jordan’s voice echoed from his memory. He looked up and through the darkness he saw a puff of smoke followed by a vision; his own memory playing back right before his eyes, in that same cloud of puffy smoke. “We… we can talk about this, right?”But Josie just scoffed. “What’s there to talk about, Jordan?” she asked, the tone of her voice nothing if not rhetorical. When Jordan remained silent she shrugged her shoulders and tugged at the first suitcase, pulling it onto its wheels. “I… I’ll come by later and get the rest of my stuff.”“Come by later,” Jordan repeated. “Like, when I’m at work? Because you know I have a show to run, Josie. I can’t be running back and forth between Manhattan and-““Yes, Jordan,” Josie replied. “While you’re at work. You’re always at work, so of course it will be while you’re at work.” She was obviously frustrated by the whole thing, and frustrated by Jordan more than anything in that particular moment. She sighed again, and before she got to the top of the stairs leading down to the garden level, she turned to him and shook her head. It was clear that she had more to say, but had absolutely no intention of speaking her mind.“I’m in charge,” Jordan’s voice cut through the puff of smoke and brought back the emptiness, brought back the darkness of the apartment. He took a breath, his heart beating, pounding between his ears. He pressed a hand flat against the dark wall, fingers brushing the plate of the light switch, leaving Jordan in the dark. “I… I’m in charge.” The words echoed in Jordan’s voice in his head. He braced himself against the wall as if he were about to fall over.Several moments pass before Jordan’s breathing slows, steadying to where it should be for a human being at rest. He took a single deep breath before slipping one light switch, bathing the foyer in a pale white light, enough to illuminate the way up the stairs.Jordan’s bedroom was on the top floor; the fourth floor of the over-the-top townhouse that he purchased after signing his contract at Comedy Central. Seven months he lived in this townhouse with his former girlfriend, and in those seven months Jordan was unable to make the five-bedroom townhouse feel anything like home. Climbing the stairs, Jordan peeled off his suit, folding it neatly and setting the dirty laundry in the proper basket, separated by type of laundry, and when it gets sent out to be done. Sitting in just his boxer briefs on the edge of his king-sized bed, elbows resting on his knees, hands folded between his legs.“I’m in charge,” Jordan whispered into the darkness. He closed his eyes and rubbed both hands over his face. Another deep breath, and in the dark Jordan pulled the blankets back and crawled into bed.
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127 1st St., Williamsburg1 October10:14 AMThe show’s first week was, by all rights, a success. Though critics did not unanimously rave about it, and often compared Jordan to his predecessor, the show and his performance were not globally panned, either. Everyone who worked on the the show, whether it was a writer or one of the stage crew, knew that there were some things that were spot on, and some things that needed to be adjusted. The morning after the first show, Jordan announced that no one would be playing a character by a different name, and shot a glance in Laura’s direction. “We’re good,” he affirmed, a little smile pulling at his mouth as he spoke. “But we can be better.”Thursday night after the show, Laura found Jordan in the corner of the open space that, according to all of their plans, would someday constitute his office, and was not all that surprised to see him sitting at his desk with a yellow legal pad in front of him. Each page torn from the pad, and still attached, were covered in furious scribbles. She said nothing, but sat in one of the unpleasant office chairs opposite where Jordan sat, unaware of Laura’s presence there at his desk.“Hi,” she said after several moments of awkward silence.Jordan looked up from the legal pad, startled by the sound of Laura’s voice. “Hi,” was all he could manage to say back.Laura smiled. She leaned in to try and see whatever it was that Jordan was writing and reading simultaneously, and felt her entire body shrink when she caught the column headings. “Jordy,” she finally said. But Jordan’s attention was back on the yellow legal pad. When he ignored her words she rapped her knuckles against his desk, smiling when his gaze met hers. “Hey, you.” Jordan was confused by Laura’s actions, and finally set the legal pad aside, to which Laura let out a heavy sigh of relief.“Can I-“ Before Jordan had the chance to finish his train of thought, Laura snatched the legal pad away from him. “Hey, what the-“Laura’s eyes furiously read as much as they could before Jordan took the pad back, giving her a paper cut in the process. “Jordan,” Laura stated firmly. “You can’t-“ She closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “You know you can’t control everything, right?”“Why not?” Jordan asked with a gentle shrug of his shoulders.The buzzer on the front door resonated through the entire apartment. Jordan closed his eyes and rubbed his face into his pillow; his reasoning was if he ignored it, whomever it was at the front door would eventually give up and stop ringing the buzzer, stop trying to grab his attention. But again, the buzzing continued, long enough for Jordan to ignore it, and almost fall back to sleep.“Jordan!”The voice quietly echoed up from the entrance way on the garden floor, and rang throughout the entire space. Jordan, still half sleep, rolled over and chose to ignore the voice. A dream, he finally told himself. It was just a familiar voice calling to him from the deep recesses of some dream state.Muffled footsteps grew louder, as did the voice. “Jordan Klepper, if you think for one second that I’m going to believe that you’re already up and out and about on a Sunday morning…”Jordan rolled over onto his stomach, arms wrapped around the pillow his face was still buried in. Again, he ignore the vote, calling to him from somewhere in that same dream-like state. The footsteps stopped at the top of the stairs, and within seconds Jordan was no longer alone in his bedroom, or even alone in his bed. A hand shook Jordan’s leg, though Jordan was still, at this point, pretending to be asleep. “Jordan,” the familiar voice cooed in a familiar sing song.Jordan finally admitted defeat and groaned into the pillow. “Trevor,” he grumbled in frustration. Trevor smiled, and with the softest laugh he gave Jordan’s leg a gentle shake.Trevor Noah, one of if not Jordan’s closest friend, who called himself Jordan’s work wife on more than one occasion, had a key as well as the electronic code to Jordan’s apartment. Trevor didn’t let himself in on a regular basis, unless Jordan specifically asked him to. Though Jordan was no stranger to being on television, he was now going to be on four days a week, and knew that he had appearances to keep up. So Jordan asked, told Trevor to drag him to the gym whenever possible, though Jordan wasn’t entirely sure that Trevor would take him up on his offer.Another shake of his leg. “Good morning,” Trevor cooed through a smile; the ridiculously bright smile that was perpetually plastered on his face, dimples all but glistening in the mid-morning sun.Jordan let out a long, heavy breath, and shifted his entire body to better see Trevor sitting on the edge of his bed. When Jordan’s vision finally focused he saw that Trevor was not dressed for a casual friends outing, but dressed in a pair of warmup pants and a hoodie that was hiding a ratty T-shirt. Though Jordan was still half asleep he immediately knew what was going on. “Oh no,” Jordan lamented, rubbing both hands over his face and rolling onto his back in the process.“Oh yes!” Trevor yelped, slapping Jordan’s hip through the blanket. “You said-““Trevor,” Jordan attempted to interrupt, but Trevor persisted.“Jordan, you made me promise, pinky swear even, that I would drag you-“ As Trevor spoke, Jordan growled and tugged the heavy comforter up over his head. But Trevor grabbed a handful of the comforter and worked it away from him. “That I would drag you out with me.”Another growl of protest. Jordan opened both eyes, now focused completely on Trevor. “It’s early,” he said, his response quite possibly too quick, as if Jordan had been contemplating it in his sleep.“Early?” Trevor questioned in return.Jordan nodded and again tried to tug his blankets up over his face. “Especially for the weekend,” he started to reason. “It’s been a week, a long week, and-““A good week,” Trevor said with a little nod of his own. He grabbed Jordan through the blanket and gave him a gentle shake. “Definitely proud of you right now, Jordan.”Jordan blushed and hide his face further under the blanket. Trevor wasn’t supposed to be there, especially not this early in the morning, especially not in his bedroom, sitting on his bed… Jordan’s body crawled and not in a good way. “Thank you,” he grumbled, by this time unable to hide his blush.“I mean, I saw it all coming together, sure, but-“ Trevor’s gentle laughter felt mocking, which made Jordan blush even hotter. “Sorry. I know how… weird you get about that, which is weird when you think about it. A comic who’s weird about getting laughed at.”Jordan pulled the blankets from his face and sort of glared at Trevor. “Well there’s a difference between being laughed at, being laughed with… and being mocked. I’m more weird about being mocked.”Trevor smiled. “I’d get more used to that if I were you,” he said with a firm nod.“What.” Jordan shot up, his pale body almost glowing in the natural light shining in the room. “I should get used to being mocked?”Trevor watched Jordan’s expression change, and was silently curious about it. “No,” he said calmly, shaking his head. “No, Jordan that-“ Trevor reached out to touch Jordan’s shoulder, to comfort him, ease him down from the left he’d unknowingly climbed out onto. “That isn’t what I was talking about at all. I was… talking about the fact that you’re-“ Jordan groaned and fell back to the bed, tugging the blankets back up over his head. But Trevor immediately grabbed the blankets and pulled them away. “No one is mocking you, Klepper. But it’s something you’re going to have to get used to.”Jordan, staring up at the ceiling, felt a low growl vibrate in his chest. “Trevor,” he said after a moment of relative silence. “Why are you here right now?”“Why am I here right now?” Trevor questioned in response. He stroked his chin, as if he were putting serious thought into his answer. “Well, as I recall, you and I had a somewhat serious discussion about forcing your ass, as well as the rest of you, to work out more often.” A long groan came from Jordan, prompting Trevor to continue. “So here I am, to make sure that you’re working out more.”“Trevor,” Jordan said with another groan. When he sat up again Jordan bunched the pillows up between his back and the solid but not quite sturdy IKEA headboard. He exhaled sharply and folded his hands in his lap. “It’s… really too early, and… not to mention you just show up unannounced, to-““Well, actually.” Trevor stood from the bed and began scanning the well=ordered bedroom until finding Jordan’s cell phone on top of his dresser. He showed the phone to Jordan, and laughed a little when all attempts to revive the dark screen came up empty. “I did send you several head’s up messages, but you got nary a one because your phone-“ Trevor shook the iPhone at Jordan. “Is actually completely dead, which-“ Before Trevor can finish his train of thought, Jordan is up out of bed and snatched the phone out of Trevor’s hand.“Shit,” Jordan hissed. He fumbled for the charging cord, held on the bedside table by a well-placed clip. He sat back on the bed and pressed buttons, silently willing the phone to spring back to life.Trevor sat on the bed next to Jordan. “You know I’m actually a little surprised,” he began, his eyes focused on Jordan’s fingers, playing with the uncharged cellular device. “You’re usually not one to go to bed unless that’s on the charger.”Even when Jordan would follow Trevor home, to his modest one-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side, he made sure that his phone was plugged in before making his bed on the couch. Some nights, anyway. Some nights, after particularly long or rough days at the office, neither Trevor nor Jordan would say anything, but both end up asleep, curled up with one another in Trevor’s bed.“I-“ Jordan sighed heavily, and set the slowly charging phone on the bedside table. “Know, I don’t… even know, even remember what happened last night. It… it’s not like I went out or anything.”“That true?” Trevor questioned, his voice extremely quiet. Jordan said nothing but sighed in response. “How… long has it been since you’ve just… gone out for a drink?”“What’re you talking about?” Jordan asked in return. “We all went out on Thursday, you… you were there.”“No I know that, Bucky,” Trevor smiled. Jordan blushed at the use of the pet name and looked away from Trevor for a moment. Still smiling, Trevor cupped a hand over Jordan’s knee. Ever since Trevor got married, he’d been hesitant about touching Jordan in any way. The occasional hug, but that was the extent. And Trevor’s touch was the only one that didn’t make him nervous, didn’t make him pull away for any reason. “I meant… just you.”Jordan scoffed quietly. “Why would I do that?” he asked, his voice a low whisper. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders simultaneously.“I don’t know,” Trevor replied with a little shrug of his own. “Maybe… to have a good time. Maybe for a little actually human contact that doesn’t require you jerking off in the shower before going to bed.”Jordan’s pale body flushed, a dark red that crept up on purple. That was the last thing he wanted to confess to.“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” Trevor continued.But Jordan let out a little laugh. “That’s easy for you to say,” he returned. “Not everyone has a… has someone to go home to at the end of the day.”“Well to be fair, I don’t-“ Trevor cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the lump growing there. “He’s not always there, Jordan. He’s on tour, I mean, he’s never there.” Jordan let out a long breath, to match the one that Trevor took. “He will be soon enough, but right now-““No, you’re right.” Jordan turned to Trevor and sighed, feeling almost deflated. “I’m sorry.” Jordan folded his hands in his lap and let out another long, defeated breath. “At least you have Ville period.”“What happened to-““Josie?” Jordan shrugged his shoulders. “She left, man. That… that’s all that happened. She left… Monday morning, before-““Before the show?” Trevor asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.Jordan nodded. He rubbed at the back of his neck and turned away from Trevor before standing up from the bed. He laced his fingers together around the back of his neck, taking slow, deep breaths as he started to pace the bedroom floor. “Right before the show,” he began. “I mean, I can believe it, and I can’t blame her, but-“ Jordan stopped pacing when Trevor lobbed a pristine pair of Saucony running sneakers at his feet. Jordan looked back at Trevor, who simply nodded at the sneakers. “What-““I said-“ Trevor slowly stood from the bed. “That I was going to get you to work out more. So put some clothes on and let’s go.”“Go?”Trevor smirked. “For a run.” He pulled a pair of sweats from the bottom drawer of Jordan’s dresser, Jordan wincing at the sight of Trevor digging through his stuff. “Or, down to the gym. Does this building even have-“ Jordan shook his head. “Okay. So a run it is.” Trevor tossed the sweats to Jordan. “Suit up. I’ll let you chase me through the neighborhood.”***Jordan chased Trevor around Williamsburg for what felt like an eternity, pushing himself almost to the point of exhaustion. Trevor did not look as fast as he was; even with his long legs, Jordan had a difficult time keeping up with him. Fists clenched tight, arms swinging to help keep the pace, Jordan’s gaze focused on Trevor’s back, his back side, for the entire run. His heartbeat echoed in his head, thrumming louder and louder, and met the sound of his own harsh breath. Memories flooded his subconscious, his vision; he and Trevor hidden among the trees of the park across the street from the office.Each breath echoed a moan, and Jordan could feel Trevor’s hands on him. Grabbing. Rubbing. Jordan closed his eyes and shook his head, struggling to wipe the memory slate clean.But he couldn’t. Jordan couldn’t wipe that slate clean no matter how hard he tried.Trevor followed Jordan back to his apartment, watching to make sure his old friend didn’t pass out before making it inside. Trevor punched in the code for the electronic lock and let Jordan in the house first. “You know,” Trevor began, letting the door close behind him. He was silent until the lock clicked into place, as if he were afraid of being disturbed.“What?” Jordan asked softly.“What?” Trevor asked in return.Jordan let out the softest laugh. “You were-“ He paused for just a moment and felt another laugh creep up from the back of his throat. “You said you know…”“Oh!” Trevor laughed. “Oh I was just… thinking that I’d never been in your apartment until this morning, and that this is space… well, it… it’s kind of breathtaking, actually.”“Thanks,” Jordan hummed, rubbing at the back of his neck. He turned and without saying a word he made his way up to the second floor where the kitchen was. Jordan pulled a bottle of SmartWater from the second shelf and handed it to Trevor. “Here. You better…” Jordan’s words trailed off, his eyes focused on the cap of the bottle of water, twisting in Trevor’s fingers.Jordan’s eyes then became fixed on Trevor’s mouth wrapped around the mouth of the bottle. Jordan was vaguely aware that Trevor was now talking to him, but all he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating, strong and pounding between his ears. Jordan’s heartbeat was overwhelming, and became ultimately distracting.And though his heartbeat grew louder, Jordan knew what he wanted. He knew he shouldn’t, but he still wanted it.Jordan swallowed hard around the lump growing in his throat. “I… I think…” He swallowed again. “I, um, I need a shower.” He glanced to Trevor and gave him a faint nod.Trevor took a long drink from his water bottle, never once taking his eyes off of Jordan. He smacked his lips and set the bottle back down on the counter, a little smile pulling at his mouth, just wide enough to call up his sparkling dimples. “You want me to join you, don’t you.” His voice was low, but still kind and certainly full of something that Jordan almost missed.“Well, I-“Trevor stepped around the counter to where Jordan stood, inches from him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his entire body. “Just sat it, Jordan,” Trevor whispered. “Just… just say it. I know you’ve been thinking it, just-““How do you know?” Jordan asked in response. He cupped a hand gently over Trevor’s hip but forced him back against the flat black cupboards. “How do you know what I’ve been thinking? Can you all of a sudden read minds?”“Because you’re transparent,” Trevor said through a gentle chuckle. He gasped when he felt Jordan’s hand squeeze his hip, rougher than before. “You’ve… been thinking it for… a while, Bucky. Don’t try and pretend that you haven’t.” As Trevor spoke, Jordan grabbed him by the front of his shirt and dragged him close, walking backward through the kitchen to the staircase. Trevor knew immediately what was going on, and knew that, if he wanted to, he could very easily stop it. “Shower?” he felt himself ask, speaking just loud enough to be heard over the natural hum of Jordan’s apartment.“Among other things,” Jordan snarled. He pulled Trevor to him, coming dangerously close to kissing Trevor. The kiss would make it real, and though it was hot at first for them, Jordan wasn’t quite sure how ready he was for that.But Trevor made the decision for him. Once at the top of the stairs Trevor lunged, throwing Jordan back against the far wall, lips pressed hotly to his own. “Fuck, Jordan,” Trevor growled in the back of his throat. He stuffed both hands up Jordan’s sides under his shirt, shucking it up and over his head. When Jordan tried to stop Trevor, Trevor grabbed his hands and shoved them off, pushing him hard back against the wall. “No.”“N-no?” Jordan whispered, his breath blowing across Trevor’s lips. “Who are you to tell me-“ Jordan’s words were choked off the second that Trevor dropped to his knees, tugging Jordan’s sweats in the process. Jordan slid his fingers around the back of Trevor’s head, drawing his mouth closer to his growing erection. “That’s fucking hot.” Panting he turned his focus back down at Trevor, watching his tongue flick out, lapping against the purple tip. “You-““Shut up, Bucky,” Trevor whispered against Jordan’s hot skin. “Just… shut up and enjoy this.” He looked up Jordan’s long body, his eyes heavy and lidded and filled with a passion that Jordan felt like he hadn’t seen in months. “Let me enjoy this.” Jordan didn’t say anything, but ran both hands around the back of Trevor’s head, cradling him close, not letting him pull back, rocking his hips forward and pressing deeper into Trevor’s mouth.The sun already set beyond the Manhattan skyline before Jordan woke from his post-sex nap, and found Trevor napping beside him. Cuddling was not usually Jordan’s favorite thing, and he felt himself pulling away from Trevor, careful not to wake him up. A few moments pass before Trevor stirs and reaches to find the bed beside him empty.Trevor rolled over to see Jordan lying on his side, staring at him. “Everything okay?” Trevor asked, his voice laced with genuine concern. With Jordan he never knew, and though they were close, Jordan was nearly impossible to read.“Sure,” Jordan replied with a shrug of his shoulders. He rolled over onto his back and let out a faint sigh, his stare focused at a spot on the ceiling where the paint’s gloss was not even. A spot patched by the previous owners, with paint that didn’t match perfectly. Jordan’s attention was completely captivated by it.Trevor leaned in and delicately pressed the tips of his fingers to Jordan’s feverish chest. He began to speak, clearing his throat a number of times before continuing. “Do… would you like me to stay?” Trevor’s questioned knocked Jordan out of his trance. With a soft, labored grunt he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his back to where Trevor was still laying.“No,” Jordan replied, after several moments of silence. You couldn’t even hear the sounds of breathing. “No, I think-“ Jordan rubbed both hands over his face and exhaled sharply. “You should go home, Trevor. You… you don’t want to be here.”Trevor sat up and folded his legs loosely under him. “Why do you say that?” he asked. Trevor heard Jordan say this many time; the answer never changed, though Trevor continued to ask in the hop that someday it would.“Because I’m a mess,” Jordan snapped back. He turned sharply and glared at Trevor over his shoulder. “Because I’m an absolute mess, and you of all people should know that.”“But I don’t-“ Trevor reached out for Jordan, but came up short of touching him. “I reject the premise of that statement, Jordan.” When Jordan turned to him Trevor was relieved. He didn’t appear wild-eyed, or angry by any sense of the word. He looked almost calm, as if this would be the one time that Jordan changes his mind.But, of course, he doesn’t. Jordan inhales sharply and turns away from Trevor again. “Feel free to take another shower, but I… I think you should go, Trevor.” He let out a soft sigh. “I’m sorry.”“Yeah,” Trevor whispered. “No, it’s okay, Bucky. I get it.” The bed shifted behind Jordan, and seconds later Trevor stood in front of him. He cupped a hand over Jordan’s shoulder and smiled down at him. “If you need me, you know where I am, okay?” Trevor winced when he cupped a hand around Jordan’s jaw, only to have Jordan pull away. “Call me tomorrow.”“Why,” Jordan asked flatly.Trevor sighed, making a sharp noise as he did. “Because I worry about you,” he admitted. “Because we… a lot of us are worried about you.” He slid his fingers through Jordan’s hair and stepped back when he leapt up from the bed. Jordan strode into the bathroom and slammed the door closed behind him. Trevor, feeling a little more offended than he initially thought he would, watched the closed door for a long moment, fighting back the urge to call out to Jordan. Instead he got dressed, and minutes later he was rearming the security system on the front door.
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Hotel Pennsylvania
8 NovemberJordan paced behind the closed door of his office, pen in one hand and a marked-up script in the other. His eyes were closed, lips moving with the words he already memorized from those pages, words that he knew would be up on the teleprompter later. Although this was pre-recorded television, it was in fact television, and something was always bound to go wrong. And something wrong was the last thing that Jordan wanted to deal with.A soft knock at the door stopped Jordan’s pacing. “Hey, boss,” a gentle voice cooed from the doorway.Jordan looked up from the pages and smiled. She was a production intern, still in college and probably not old enough to buy alcohol. But she was smart, and she was funny, and maybe she wasn’t cute but she always showed up on time and stayed late whenever Jordan asked her to.“Rena,” Jordan said through his smile. He dropped the papers on his desk, only to immediately straighten them up. “Everything okay?”“Yep!” Rena replied with an enthusiastic nod. “Everything’s good they just need you for a few pictures.”“Pictures.” Jordan mouthed the word before speaking. “Oh! You mean with-“ He chuckled and immediately reached for his phone, pulling up his browser and its two dozen open taps, all focused on one thing; his guest, Jon Lovett.Jordan was intrigued. He, like everyone else in his line of work, found it absolutely necessary to stay in the loop on all things political. Jordan, however, has the added pleasure of needing to do opposition research, learning everything about the other side that he possibly could, if only to further his own character. And at Trevor’s urging, Jordan started listening to Pod Save America, a no-bullshit political podcast created and hosted by three former staffers of President Obama. To say that Jordan was a little intimidated was an understatement; fortunately for him, he only had one of them on the show.Jordan strolled down the brightly-lit hallway to the green room, which was labeled the enemy holding area. The smile on his face widened when he spotted Lovett, peeking his head out of the room. Jordan was taken aback slightly; was this man as short as he appeared? A silent chuckle caught in the back of Jordan’s throat.“You must be Jon,” Jordan deduced. The look on his face must have mirrored his mental confusion when he shook Lovett’s hand, because Lovett smiled somewhat awkwardly, and looked as though he himself was trying to stifle his own laugh. “It… it’s nice to finally meet-““Oh don’t say that,” Lovett teased lightly. He smiled like Trevor, his chipmunk cheeks making him look about ten years younger than he actually was. “I’m already here, you don’t have to flatter me.”It was Jordan’s turn to laugh, only this time the laughter was genuine. There was something about this Jon Lovett that Jordan couldn’t quite put his finger on, something familiar even though he was essentially a stranger. But still, Jordan just felt comfortable around him. There was no awkward silence, no moment where either Jordan or Lovett looked for something small-talky to say. It was nice, and something that Jordan hadn’t expected.They did the pre-show dance; taking a few pictures for their individual social media accounts, and Jordan even explained how his whole schtick went, which made Lovett laugh. “Oh I get it,” he snickered. He pulled the sleeves of his branded sweatshirt over his hands and shifted from side to side on his feet. “I promise I’ll try to behave.”Jordan snickered. It was a promise he intended to make Lovett keep.The second Jordan had his back turned, a torrent of images flooded mis mind; little Jon Lovett lying flat on his back in the middle of that almost-new IKEA bed, fingers curled around the silky rope that bound his hands together up over his head, his movement restrained by the other end of the silky rope tied to the headboard. He begged and though his words were incoherent, Jordan understood him complete. Lovett’s body twisted, needy beneath his own, but Jordan simply hovered over him, enjoying what he saw, what he heard.So much so that he got good and worked up right before the cameras went on.***“Although you are probably right, that Trevor Noah is trying to kill you with this obviously medieval program he has you on, running can be fun.” Lovett was parked on the arm of the sofa in the green room. He sat astride it, like he were riding a horse. “Well, not fun. I don’t think I’d ever call it fun, but maybe more… meditative.”Jordan, sans tie with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, had one leg crossed over the other. He wasn’t sitting in a chair — there was just the one couch in the room, and a the mini-fridge where Jordan sat, perched. He wanted to be on the couch with Lovett, nothing would have made him happier, but he didn’t know what Lovett’s reaction to his advances would have been. “Meditative,” Jordan said with a little chuckle. “Well I’m sure that it might be for some people. For me it’s just listening to the sound of my own heart pounding between my ears.”“Oh it’s that for a long time. And then one day you’re heaving along-““Heaving the operative word there,” Jordan commented with a nod, referencing a run that he and Trevor took that ended with him vomiting in a garbage can along the way; a story that Lovett did not hear.But Lovett just sighed and rolled his eyes. “There’s definitely a point where your entire body doesn’t feel like it’s going to die. I mean, it does make a difference that I’m no longer trying to do this in DC. LA is far more hospitable.” He paused and sort of chuckled without making a sound. “When it’s not on fire.”Jordan actually laughed at that. “Is is, though? I feel like LA is more uphill. Granted this time of year the weather in DC is certainly primed to freeze you, no matter how much you bundle.” Jordan spoke to Lovett as if he’d lived his whole life on the west coast, as if he had no idea what winter was really like.“I mean, you can find hilly spots, but also flat spots and all kinds of spots,” Lovett said with a little nod. “If you need to go trail running in the mountains, that’s more available. And there’s no bundling required.”Jordan sort of narrowed his eyes and let out a little bordering on flirty chuckle. He tried not to, but honestly couldn’t help it. “Does anyone really ever need to go trail running?”“If you’re on a trail being pursued by a mountain lion, yes.”Jordan’s eyes flew open. “Pursued… by a mountain lion?” Eyes wide, then narrowed. “Has this… are you speaking to me from experience, Mr. Lovett?”“Well no, but this is an instance that would require the need to trail run. I need to go trail running a lot more than I need to be a snack for an oversized house cat.”Jordan laughed softly. “You don’t need for either of those things,” he commented, almost under his breath. “This is where I’m thrilled to be in Brooklyn. Not too many mountain lions running around, unless you consider some bear with a long red beard to be a house cat, in which case it’s crawling with them.”Lovett cupped a hand over his mouth as if to hide his giggle. “Now is that from personal experience as well?”“Yes!” Jordan laughed with his entire body. “When I moved into my new place, I swear they were having a lumberjack convention, in the bar across the street.” He cleared his throat. “Excuse me. The gastropub across the street.” He shifted just enough to pull a beer — a Blue Moon — from the mini-fridge he sat on. “Can I get you something?” He offered the amber bottle to Lovett with the slightest smile on his face.Lovett reached out and took the bottle. “Well gee, Jordan. You’re not trying to get me drunk, are you?” He pulled the sleeve of his sweatshirt down over his hand and twisted off the cap.Jordan twisted the cap off his own bottle, his eyes focused on Lovett, the mouth of the bottle coming between his lips. “Maybe,” he almost purred. “Maybe the beer is part of an elaborate plan to loosen up and, maybe, take you upstairs.” The studio was in the hotel’s renovated ballroom, which leaned that the hotel and its conveniences were at Jordan’s disposal. He cocked an eyebrow in Lovett’s direction and took a long drink from his own bottle.Lovett’s eyebrows slip up and a smile spread slowly across his face. “Oh really?”“I-“ Jordan’s entire body filled with flush, suddenly nervous. This wasn’t planned; Jordan never fantasized about bending Jon Lovett her anything, yet here was the opportunity presenting itself to himself. “Maybe?”Lovett’s expression was one of unexpected delight. “Now.” He cleared his throat. “Do you usually play for my team, or is this kind of a… man crush Monday that’s gotten out of hand?” Jordan chuckled silently and got up from the mini-fridge and made his way across the room. “Oh… my god, am I witnessing a first here?”“No,” Jordan replied with a gentle shake of his head. He sat on the couch, crossing one leg over the other, an arm stretched out along the back cushions of the couch. His sudden nervousness had all but vanished. “No, I’m normally not on any team, really.”Lovett kind of raised an eyebrow at that. “Interesting,” he mused. “That’s new, yeah? Not something most people are willingly open to admit, especially in your… well, I guess our line of work.”“That they don’t like being labeled?” Jordan asked in return. He chuckled and shifted a little closer to Lovett, close enough to feel a warmth radiate off of him. “Because I don’t. I don’t think I need a label. I just… am what I am. And I call the shots.”“Is that so.” Lovett’s voice dropped, echoing to the point where Jordan could feel it in his own chest. He bit back a silent moan when Lovett reached out and grabbed the back of his neck, smashing their mouths together in a hot, orange-tinted kiss. Jordan brought a hand up to Lovett’s hair, fingers tangling into the curls, pulling so slightly as if he were testing the waters. When Jordan got a moan in response, he smiled and did it again, letting Lovett tug at the still-hidden hem of his shirt.For a moment, Jordan’s mind began to spiral. This wasn’t how he intended the evening to go. He certainly intended on having a drink with Lovett, maybe getting to know him a little, but part as friends and not something else. He pulled back, panting from the kiss, and licked his lips as if they were suddenly as dry as sand. “Wait.”“What?” Lovett breathed in return. “Too much? I cam on too strong I… I misread that completely, didn’t-“Lovett’s words were choked off by Jordan’s kiss. Where Jordan was once hesitant, now all that remained was pure need. Jordan could handle the consequences in the morning, but for now all he could think about was the man whose hands were all over him. Lovett was triumphant over Jordan’s shirt and his hand slipped up under it, sliding his hand around to Jordan’s back, resting at the base of his spine. He kissed Jordan again, and then cleared his throat. “Are… are you okay with this?”A shiver crept down Jordan’s spine, and with his eyes closed he nodded. “Okay?” He found himself laughing softly before nodding. “Hell yes I’m okay with this, w-what… who wouldn’t be?”Lovett nodded, a little dizzy from this whole prospect. “Okay. Okay good. Good, me too. More than okay. Okay. Stop talking.” Lovett finally took his own advice and stopped talking long enough to lean up and kiss Jordan again.“Right,” Jordan breathed. “Stop… stop talking.” He nodded, stroking his fingers along the back of Lovett’s neck, returning the kiss with just a little more gusto. There was a little voice again, telling him to stop, but a counterpoint to that voice telling him that he would regret it if he did. Lovett’s short nails ran up Jordan’s sides and down again, grabbing him close. Jordan gasped when Lovett would his arms around his back.Chills brought goosebumps, and even a little tickle, again, which made Jordan wiggle. He swallowed the laughter and ran both hands up under the back of Lovett’s sweatshirt, a little surprised that he didn’t wear anything else. With a soft growl, Jordan rolled Lovett onto his back, straddling his hips, tugging the sweatshirt up enough to help get it up over Lovett’s head. Lovett ducked out of the sweatshirt and looked up at Jordan with a soft, shy expression on his face.Jordan was keenly aware that he wasn’t Trevor, but Lovett still had a quality that was, well, beautiful.Taking a deep breath, Jordan knelt up and swiftly undid the buttons of his own shirt, revealing his own soft body. There was a reason he begged Trevor to hold him accountable for this whole getting into shape thing. But a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, and a blush filled his chest as Lovett ran his hand up to the back of Jordan’s neck, pulling him down to kiss his chest and touch him more. Goosebumps erupted all over his body wherever Lovett touched. Jordan felt good, amazing wherever Lovett’s hands reached.“Christ you’re beautiful,” Lovett’s soft voice cut through the silence of the room. The blush in Jordan’s chest deepened. He slid his fingers back through Lovett’s hair, nearly cradling him, warm lips pressed to Lovett’s even warmer skin. He shifted a little, rubbing his body against Lovett’s, and was a little surprised by how aroused he’d already become. Jordan closed his eyes and felt the softest moan bubble up from the back of his throat, a sound which made Lovett laugh. “What… what’s on your mind, baby?”“Baby?” Jordan chuckled and stroked his fingers back through Lovett’s hair. He clucked his tongue and gave his head the slightest shake. “You know there’s… a hotel right upstairs. A pretty fancy one, from what I’ve been told.”“You… wanna take me to a fancy hotel room?” Lovett asked, a little smile playing across his face. “I bet you do this for all the girls.”Jordan snickered and shook his head. “Just the really special ones,” he said with a little wink. “And you’re assuming that there were, are, other girls.”“Well don’t I feel like the prom queen,” Lovett teased, batting his eyelashes. “Alright, Jordan. Take me to your fancy hotel.”Jordan nodded and pulled in a deep breath. He leaned back and swept his fingertips down the middle of Lovett’s chest. Jordan’s head spun as he slowly stood and pulled Lovett to his feet as well. Standing didn’t last long before Jordan fell back onto the couch, pulling Lovett down into his lap. Tomorrow. Tomorrow they could focus on the practical. Tonight, it was just the two of them.Lovett could feel tension starting to build in Jordan’s muscles and pulled back to look at him. “Are you okay?” he asked, face flushed, hair mussed.“What? No, of course,” Jordan puffed with a little nod. He took a deep breath; honest was more than he usually gave, but with Lovett it felt like the best, and only, option. “I’m just… I don’t know, I hate saying it… but… nervous? I’m just a little nervous.”“That’s okay,” Lovett started. “It’s understandable. Is this the first time you’ve actually touched a guy like this? I mean you’ve probably kissed guys before. Improv guys are always kissing each other for a giggle.”“Are they?” Jordan asked through a faint giggle. “I suppose that’s true. Not to mention the typical teenage boy shenanigans that happened back in the day, but I don’t even think that counts.”“Well that depends on what your definition of teenage boy shenanigans is,” Lovett replied. “if you mean… a hand job or a blow job or just watching each other or whatever…” Lovett cleared his throat softly, and leaned back to gauge Jordan’s reaction. “Or maybe you mean something else. Mine probably looks different than yours.”“No, mine were-“ Jordan laughed and could feel a deep blush fill the middle of his bare chest. In a flash Jordan was transported back to the boys’ locker room at Kalamazoo Central High School, sitting on the floor in front of the lockers, his hand inside the shorts of the captain of the varsity lacrosse team. “You know, just… jerking each other off in the locker room, that… that kind of thing.”Lovett smiled a little. “Ah, yes. A classic.” He touched Jordan’s burning cheek with a kiss. It was a little burn that radiated through his entire body.“I-I… y’know what? Let’s not talk anymore.” Jordan reached for Lovett’s sweatshirt and handed it to him. “I mean, this couch is uncomfortable, but it’s not that comfortable.”“You want to get out of here then?” Lovett’s smile only grew bigger. “We’re really doing this hotel thing, aren’t we?”Jordan’s eyes went wide and he nodded. “Oh hell yes. I mean, we could go back to my Brooklyn bachelor pad, but.” The second the words came, Jordan regretted them; he wasn’t even remotely ready for that, to bring Lovett back to his apartment. He was barely okay with Trevor being there, even though Trevor had a key, it was really only for emergency purposes.“Well, to be honest, either is perfectly fine,” Lovett replied, his voice remarkably quiet. “But there’s… something to the whole thing if we just… run upstairs.”Jordan frowned, and pulled his own shirt from where he’d flung it earlier. “Something bad or just… something?” he questioned, his slender fingers redoing the buttons, but leaving it untucked.“Something hot,” Lovett said with a twinkle in his eye. He got stuck in the sweatshirt for only a moment before finally getting through it. Lovett’s hair definitely looked like it had been through it.Jordan paused at the door, getting a glimpse of a slightly rumpled Jon Lovett, and was unable to hide his smile. With a little snicker he reached out and ruffled Lovett’s hair. “Better,” he hummed. Lovett leaned up into the touch, in a move that Jordan absolutely recognized. Jordan really could not remember the last time someone had in fact touched him with such affection, and wondered how long it had been for Lovett as well. Jordan closed his eyes and slid one arm around Lovett’s waist, pressing a soft kiss to the middle of his forehead. Without letting go, Jordan opened the door and nudged them both out into the hallway, navigating them both through the labyrinth back to the hotel lobby.Lovett only had a second to grab his backpack; his worldly possessions for his time in New York were in that bag.At the front desk, Jordan smiled at the young woman and announced that his friend missed his flight and that he would need a room for the evening. Without hesitating she handed him a key card to a king bedroom up on the ninth floor, which Jordan immediately slipped into Lovett’s back pocket.“Wow. So are… these the perks of having your show tape here?” Lovett snickered; the sound was both infuriating and arousing all in the same breath. “Hot and cold running king-sized beds?”“Pretty much,” Jordan said with a laugh of his own. “I’m still… at a loss as to why we settled on this particular space, but… we’re making it home.” He took Lovett’s hand and smiled faintly at him, his hand dropping when a very tired-looking family approached the elevator beside them. The doors open and they all stepped inside. Jordan followed Jon to stand with his back pressed against the wall, asking the father of the family to hit the button for the ninth floor, and could actually feel the tension radiating off of Lovett’s body.“Easy,” Jordan whispered, hooking his slender fingers into Lovett’s. Under normal circumstances Lovett would have been a little confused by Jordan’s taking control of the situation, but he wasn’t a fan of enclosed spaces, or people unknown to him invading his personal space, so he momentarily chose to ignore all of that.Jordan followed Lovett down the hallway, pressing up against him from behind, reaching into Lovett’s pocket for the keycard he’d stashed there earlier. “Open the door,” he directed, his voice relatively quiet, but the calmness was starting to fade. Jordan was losing whatever control he had over the situation, over himself, and needed it back immediately.Lovett gasped and took the key card from Jordan, unlocking the door and stumbling into the room. Jordan nudged them further in and let the door close behind them. “Wow,” Lovett hummed. He stood motionless for only a moment, his eyes fluttering closed when he felt Jordan’s arms slide around him from behind. “Nice view.”“Does the job,” Jordan returned, the words coming but making very little sense.Lovett smirked and slid both hands along Jordan’s arms. “S’too bad I’m going to get the chance to enjoy it.” Lovett spun in Jordan’s arms, grabbing him by the front of his untucked dress shirt and pulling him down for a rough kiss. “Right now I just want to enjoy you.” Lovett pressed both hands flat against Jordan’s chest and shoved him back against the bed, sudden jerking movements causing him to fall back and pulling Lovett with him.Jordan looked up to see a quick smile appear on Lovett’s face, before Lovett’s face disappeared completely. Jordan wasn’t confused, but actually a little impressed by his quickness. Lovett nosed the edge of Jordan’s waistband and opened his pants with his teeth — the by-product of a misspent youth — and nosed the zipper all the way down. He pressed his face to Jordan’s bulge and breathed him in. Jordan lifted his hips from the bed to air Lovett in getting his pants off. Lovett slid from the bed and pulled Jordan’s pants, and with the faintest chuckle, kissed his way back up along the inside of Jordan’s leg.Jordan let his legs fall open, moaning as he ran his fingers back through Lovett’s hair, already obsessed with the mass of soft curls. He trembled a little when Lovett’s lips touched an incredible sensitive spot on his inner thigh, moaning Lovett’s name when he felt warm fingers curled around the root of his cock. Jordan glanced down to see Lovett smiling back at him, wetting his lips daintily before sliding them over the thick tip of his cock.Jordan felt his eyes close against his own will. He wanted to watch, wanted to savor this. The soft moan coming from Lovett showed Jordan that, in that moment, they both wanted the same thing. A chill ran through Jordan’s entire body, and he grabbed Lovett’s hair tighter, moaning his name. Lovett shivered and slid his mouth further down the shaft, sliding his tongue along the underside and fiddling with the band of tissue just beneath the head. A quiet moan caught in the back of Jordan’s throat. Jordan cupped a hand around the back of Lovett’s head, urging him to move just a little faster. Jordan dug his heel into the mattress, using the leverage to buck up from the bed and in that flash he wondered if it was too much. “Sorry,” Jordan hissed.Lovett pulled his mouth back, spending a long moment just licking the head of Jordan’s cock, doing a little savoring of his own. “You’re doing great,” Lovett said, speaking as if Jordan had never done anything like this before. Jordan wasn’t about to correct him. “Just… enjoy yourself, baby.”Jordan rolled his head back and laughed. he ran his short nails across his chest. When he looked back down at Lovett he stroked his fingers back through Lovett’s hair, purring deep in the back of his throat. He fought the urge to tell Lovett everything; that this wasn’t his first dance, that he may not have done everything there was to do when it came to sex, but he wasn’t a complete novice. But Jordan could see something in Lovett’s eyes, and for a moment, just a bear, Jordan decided to let Lovett have control.“I’m already enjoying myself,” Jordan breathed. “You… feel really… amazingly good. Really, don’t… please just don’t stop.” If Lovett had known Jordan, really knew him as well as some did, Lovett would have known that Jordan wasn’t being entirely sincere. But as Lovett continued to move, poking and prodding Jordan’s body with a gentle touch, his faking subsided. Lovett smiled before pushing his fingers under Jordan’s balls, massaging the flesh just behind.Lovett bobbed his mouth along the hard length of Jordan’s cock, sucking at the tip. Jordan bit the inside of his bottom lip and pushed his body down, begging for more without saying a word. Jordan’s mind swam, a wordless moan coming up from the back of his throat as he pinched and twisted his own nipple. Lovett slurped and tightened his grip at the base of Jordan’s cock, moaning low around the back of his shaft. He rubbed his thumb along the seam of Jordan’s balls with a tender touch, but just enough to send a chill up Jordan’s spine.“Harder,” Jordan growled. He lifted his head enough to watch Lovett’s hot mouth swallow him whole with each bob. Lovett took that feedback and did just that, tightening his grip and using more force and suction, working the flat of his tongue against the underside of the head. Jordan grunted approvingly and absently rested his food against Lovett’s shoulder. “Fuck that feels g-“ The words were cut short by a loud cry, Lovett’s tongue slapping against one spot repeatedly, making Jordan see stars.By now, Lovett’s maroon pants were awfully tight; he loved how into it Jordan was, how into him Jordan was. It was an incredible turn on. Lovett loved to please. He returned to rubbing behind Jordan’s scrotum, indirectly massaging his prostate through the thin tissue. That little touch was enough to drive Jordan crazy. At this point Lovett could have done anything to him and Jordan would have been okay with it. He stretched his leg and pressed a heel to the back of Lovett’s thigh, whimpering when he felt that weird denim. “T-take… you should take those off.”Lovett looked up at him, for a moment unsure of what Jordan meant and then pulled back with a smack of his lips. “Yeah. yeah hang on a sec.” Lovett pulled away with a bit of regret, moving over to where he dropped his backpack earlier. Lovett dropped a handful of condoms and tiny sachets of lube that he’d procured from an unattended fishbowl in a student health center window at one of the many colleges he’d spoken at over the last few months. He mentally patted himself on the back for that. He wiggled out of his pants and fancy underwear.Jordan reached for one of the condoms and held it up in the faint light before letting out a little chuckle. “You came prepared,” he teased, tossing the little foil-wrapped square aside. He pressed a heel to the middle of Lovett’s back and pulled him close, pulled him down, kissing him roughly. Their tastes mingled on his lips, and Jordan nearly lost it right then and there.“It’s a ridiculous reason,” Lovett breathed as he ran his hand up Jordan’s leg and kissed I’m again, pressing himself on top of him, bracketed between Jordan’s thighs. “Later. I’ll definitely tell you later.”“You… you’d better,” Jordan licked his lips. “I want to hear every single ridiculous story you can think of.” Both heels pressed into the backs of Lovett’s thighs, and Jordan moaned as he lifted his body up from the bed, Lovett’s warmth pressing against his hot cock, making him see sparks.Lovett nudged Jordan’s chin back to kiss his neck with a flutter of lips. Meanwhile Lovett reached over for a packet of lube, tearing it open with his teeth. He dumped the entire contents on his fingertips of one hand and shifted to reach between Jordan’s thighs. Lovett nudged his legs further apart and took a deep breath; he’d never been part of anyone’s first time aside from his own. “I know… telling you to relax will probably have the opposite effect on you. I’m going to take my time here.” Gently, he slipped his finger between Jordan’s cheeks, sliding it back and forth across the tight pucker, letting him get used to being touched.Though he and Trevor had been together, they never actually had sex. And this was certainly approaching first time territory for Jordan.Each breath hitched in the back of Jordan’s throat and he nodded. Relax? Everything told him that this was going to hurt, but also told him that hurt wasn’t necessarily the intention. Beside, a little pain is always okay. Jordan hissed; the lube on Lovett’s finger was a bit cool but certainly not unpleasant. Every muscle in his body seemed to clench simultaneously. Jordan grabbed one of the pillows at the head of the bed and pressed his face into it, crying out softly, Lovett’s gentle touch lighting his whole body on fire. “It… it’s okay, just… please don’t stop.”“I mean… if it hurts, tell me,” Lovett kind of ordered. “It doesn’t have to hurt. You just… need to take you time.” Lovett paused and kind of shrugged his shoulders. “It’s okay if I don’t put my dick inside you the first time.” He cleared his throat gently. “We can try again.”The idea of this not working the first time terrified Jordan. He so rarely thought about his plans going horribly wrong. Jordan nodded slowly in response to Lovett. “If… if it hurts, I’ll tell you. But-“ He reached out for a handful of Lovett’s curls and pulled Lovett in for a long kiss, moaning wordlessly against his mouth. “I just want you. Right now. You wouldn’t believe how much I want you right now.”Lovett smiled a little and kissed Jordan sweetly, his own urgency being kept at bay. “Believe me, I want that, too. Just… let’s make it good, okay?” Lovett tossed another packed of lube onto Jordan’s chest. “You open that. You’ve got two dry hands.”Jordan looked at the little packed as if it were some kind of foreign object and opened it carefully. Lovett took the packet from Jordan and poured it out same as before, letting it warm on his skin before slipping his finger back inside Jordan. He slid his finger in and out, moving slowly to let Jordan get used to the intrusion. “Don’t try to squeeze or anything,” Lovett ordered softly. “Just… make your muscles neutral.”A soft moan came with each breath. Neutral, Jordan thought to himself. He hissed softly and did just that, trying to relax his body long enough to let Jon’s one finger work inside him. Again Jordan screamed into the pillow, but it wasn’t a scream of pain, but one of absolute pleasure. This was far better than Jordan could have imagined, and it was just Lovett’s finger.The sound that Jordan let out made Lovett freeze. “A-are… are you okay?” he asked softly, stilling until Jordan nodded in response.“Yeah,” Jordan whispered, desperate. “Definitely. Definitely good.” He looked down at Lovett, the ambient light from the cityscape outside making him look downright angelic. “Keep going.” It wasn’t a request.Lovett nodded and licked his lips gently. He kissed Jordan’s hip bone as he eased his finger in deeper, pressing against and massaging his walls to encourage the muscles to relax more. And Jordan truly did try to relax; the most he felt Lovett’s finger rubbing against him, the more he got used to the whole idea, the more he was finally able to. Lovett felt Jordan’s body slowly relaxing and was able to slide his finger deeper, and after that success said, “I’m adding another finger.” He eased the tip of the second finger inside as well, keeping them together to start. As he did this, Lovett dropped kisses here and there across Jordan’s pelvis, licking his skin with light flicks of his tongue. “Is this okay?” he asked, once he’d pressed his two fingers as deep into Jordan’s ass as he could.“S’good!” Jordan yelped, the rest of his words coming with a light laughter. Any modicum of control he may have had over the situation disappeared. “Oh… oh my god that’s good. That’s very… very good.” Jordan pressed his knees together, causing him to squeeze around Lovett’s fingers. “S-sorry. I know, I know. Relax.”Lovett nudged Jordan’s knees apart with his face, laughing softly. “Exactly. Relax.” Lovett alternated his kisses, giving each of Jordan’s thighs attention in turn.“It-“ Again Jordan giggled, an involuntary sound. “It’s just kind of hard to… relax, that’s all.”Lovett nodded. “I know. Believe me. You know.” He paused and looked at Jordan with an almost lovesick expression. “I’m dying have you. It’s so… hard to be patient, but I definitely, definitely want to make this so good for you.”“P-part… part of me doesn’t-“ Jordan closed his eyes and worked his body harder down against Lovett’s fingers. He snickered. “Want you to be patient.”Lovett blushed and pressed his warm cheek against Jordan’s thigh. “I promise you, you do. There’s time for rough and impatient sex. But-“ Lovett withdrew his fingers just a little, enough to let Jordan’s body relax and readjust. “I want you to want to do this again. Hopefully with me. So just… indulge me and let me take my time.” While he spoke, Lovett sneakily slid a third finger inside, slowly drawing all three in and out, slowly twisting and easing the remaining tension in Jordan’s muscles.Jordan tried to be quiet but found it impossible. He growled and rolled his head bak, pressing his hips back down, feeling all three fingers slide even deeper inside. “Y-you’re right,” he breathed. “You’re… absolutely right… s-stop, stop talking, Jordan. Just… just shut up.”Lovett chuckled and leaned up enough to kiss Jordan’s navel. “You’re doing fine.” He gently eased his fingers out and pushed up, sitting on his heels as he got a condom and peeled it open. Jordan watches as if he were trying to memorize each motion, as if he were trying to learn simply by watching, as if he’d never done this before. “Ready?” Lovett asked stroking he sheathed cock with a lubed hand.Was he? Jordan closed his eyes, hiding the dizziness that started to fill his head. Jordan was nervous, but ready. He leaned up on an elbow and nodded. “Yes,” he breathed, the nodding continuing as he spoke. His eyes went from focusing on Lovett’s chest to his hand stroking himself, back to his eyes. “Jon, I… am definitely ready.”Lovett added even more lube to both of them. “Do you want to be on your back, or would you like to be in another position?”“I…I kind of like to watch,” Jordan said with a little smirk. “For a little while.”“Okay.” Lovett’s tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he pushed Jordan’s legs back, settling between them. He had to look down to see what he was doing, but he gently pressed the tip of his cock against Jordan’s entrance and then looked up at him. Lovett’s expression tensed up, but only for a moment. “Neutral,” he reminded with a smile.Neutral. How in the hell was that supposed to happen? Jordan gripped both hands over Lovett’s shoulders, forcing his legs just a little further apart, all the while desperately trying to relax his entire body. “Neutral,” he whispered, relaxing only for a moment when he felt the tip of Lovett’s cock rub, and then slowly ease inside.Lovett slid one arm around Jordan’s back, cuddling him. Jordan was so fucking tall; Lovett was almost unsure of what to do with him. He slowly eased forward his free hand now on Jordan’s outer thigh. “That… that’s good. Just try not to tense up. Are you okay?”Jordan gasped but nodded, and pressed a kiss to Lovett’s shoulder. “Very,” he whimpered. Jordan did tense up, but only for the briefest moment before relaxing. Neutral. Lovett’s voice ran through his mind, and in a flash Jordan realized that he was the one taking orders, not giving them. Lovett was in control, not him. Lovett eased his way inside until he felt himself reach his depth. Jordan’s pain was at a minimum, but left him wanting more.“Still… still good?” Lovett questioned, his voice rough.Jordan looped his arm around the back of Lovett’s neck, turning to press an open-mouthed kiss to his temple. He tried to whimper a reply, but all he could do was nod. “Please. Please don’t stop. Not… not even a… a little…”Lovett shifted and moved down a little for a better angle. He slowly began to roll his hips, nice and easy. “Jordan you feel so good,” he purred softly in the back of his throat. Jordan’s eyes rolled back, and when he tried to speak all he could do was whimper. He folded one leg around the backs of Lovett’s thighs, grateful in that moment for his incredibly long legs. He cupped a hand around the back of Lovett’s neck and leaned in to try and kiss him. Lovett arched down to accomplish this. Thanks to the fact that Jordan was a good foot taller than he was, this was a bit of a stretch for him. Lovett pressed his lips to Jordan’s and sighed sweetly against the kiss. He moved a little faster, grinding his body against Jordan.Jordan folded his arms around Lovett’s back, legs tightening around him almost to the point where it was hard for either of them to move. “So good,” Jordan whispered, his voice almost cracking as he spoke. “You… Jon, you’re amazing…”Lovett smiled at that, lowering his face with a blush. He was so happy to make Jordan feel good. He couldn’t remember the last time he put this much effort into making his partner feel good. “You… you make it easy,” Lovett said in a breathless voice.Jordan’s fingers were sweaty but still he slid them back through Lovett’s hair, panting softly as his ability to focus began to disappear. Little twinges of pain radiated throughout his entire body but he ignore them. Jordan was enjoying himself far too say stop just because he had an okie. Lovett nuzzled under Jordan’s jawline and nibbled on his neck, giving little bitey kisses and tasting the sweat that soaked Jordan’s skin. Lovett picked up the pace a little, squeezing Jordan’s thigh as he adjusted his grip. A little wince, sharp but not too loud, as Jordan pressed a heel into the bed and started working his body with Lovett’s. With a little huddle he let the tips of his fingers brush the side of his cock and again twisted his hips, jerking off to the side.Lovett looked up at Jordan and reached out to tangle his fingertips through Jordan’s hair. The floof was somewhat deflated, making Jordan appear a little more human. “Are you okay?” Lovett purred. “Does… does it feel good?”Jordan panted, nodding, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “Y-yes,” he finally whispered. “Yes, god yes it… feels amazing.” Licking his dry lips, Jordan reached out and grabbed the back of Lovett’s neck, roughly pulling him down for a hard kiss, moaning against Lovett’s mouth. “You’re amazing.”Lovett cracked a little smile in return. Without saying a word he reached between them and curled his fingers around Jordan’s cock, a little almost playful gasp coming from the back of his throat. “You’re so hard,” Lovett hissed as he ran his hand along Jordan’s length as he ran his hand along Jordan’s length, his smile growing. “That’s so sexy.”“That’s you,” Jordan breathed with a slight nod. He curled his own fingers around Lovett’s and started jerking himself off with Lovett’s hand. “That… this is all you, what… what you’re doing to me…”“Oh just you wait,” Lovett’s voice hummed through the room. He shifted his body, moving his hips to find just the right spot. Jordan was so tall that this positing was out of reach for anything else, but hopefully, if Lovett could get it right, it would be entirely worth it. Jordan’s eyes fluttered closed and he bit his bottom lip almost hard enough to bleed, crying out without a word, signaling that Lovett hit that spot perfectly. Fireworks exploded behind Jordan’s eyes, and he cupped a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming every time Lovett fucked up into him. Lovett pressed his face to Jordan’s chest and kept his movements small, grinding his cock over and around Jordan’s prostate. He slipped his thumb over the tip of Jordan’s cock, loving the feel of sticky wet that came from direct stimulation. Jordan wrapped a hand around the back of Lovett’s head, fingers tugging his hair.There were words, but none of them were intelligible. And the instant that Lovett touched him Jordan lost it, lost complete control, and came between Lovett’s fingers.Lovett stroked Jordan’s cock until the spasms ebbed, and then shifted up to kiss him. “Fuck that’s hot,” he said as he rubbed a bit of Jordan’s cum between his fingertips.Jordan tangled his shaking fingers into Lovett’s hair, moaning softly against his lips. “H-holy… holy shit,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. Another moan, rocking his hips gently, absently up from the bed.Lovett whimpered and lay snug in Jordan’s arms, idly still moving against him. “Maybe… you’ll want to do more of that…”Jordan’s eyes flew open and he nodded. “I, uh-“ He snickered, quite the jovial albeit breathless sound. He turned and brushed a little kiss to the bridge of Lovett’s nose. “Absolutely want to do more of that.”Lovett smiled with the little kiss and rested his head against Jordan’s chest. This was nice. Lovett liked the way it felt. Jordan purred, stroking his fingers back through Lovett’s hair. He closed his eyes, lying there in silent contentment for only a moment before he wiggled his hips, and his eyes flew open. “Maybe I can… help you with something?” Jordan asked, his voice low, deep.Lovett smiled and picked up his head, his hair a messy tangle. “Whatever do you mean?” he asked, a cheeky little half-smile playing across his face.Jordan’s hand slid from Lovett’s hair and ran down his back. “Anything at all?” he whispered, another wiggle of his hips, feeling Lovett’s hard cock moving inside him.“I can think-“ Lovett’s words were immediately stopped by Jordan’s mouth rough against his own.“Tell me,” Jordan purred, an almost submissive tone to his voice. “Anything, it… it’s yours.” There were now goosebumps on Lovett’s skin and he arched his back a little like a cat.“I-“ Lovett whispered. “I want you to touch me.”“How?” Jordan teased, dancing the tips of his fingers up Lovett’s spine. “You mean like this?” He stroked the other fingers up and down Lovett’s arm, snickering playfully as he rolled onto his side and brought his hand to rest on Lovett’s hip.Lovett smiled and squirmed just a little. “Well I’m not going to tell you not to do that because it’s delightful.”Jordan clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Then I guess I’ll just have to keep guessing.” Thankful for the large bed, Jordan pushed Lovett onto his back and slid up beside him. “Hmmm, let’s see…” Jordan swirled the tips of his fingers around Lovett’s chest, circling one nipple and then the other. “Can’t be this, can it?”Lovett whimpered. He loved having his nipples touched and he showed it by hissing and arching his back. “Maybe,” he breathed.Jordan cocked an eyebrow and made a little mental note of that. “But that’s not it, is it.” Jordan licked his lips and leaned down to press a little kiss to Lovett’s shoulder. Jordan’s body was so sensitive, so on fire in that very moment, yet the control started coming back. He slid onto the bed completely, head resting on the pillow with Lovett’s, one leg draped across his. “Let’s see…” Fingers walked through the little fur on Lovett’s tummy, circling his belly button. A little twinge of nervousness came back to Jordan but he immediately swallowed it down, and let the tips of his fingers brush the best of Lovett’s cock.“That’s a really good start.” Lovett paused for a moment and slipped the condom off, making a note to pick it up later.Jordan moaned and leaned in to nip at the shell of Lovett’s ear. He enjoyed that, so assumed that everyone else did, too. A little chuckle came up from his lungs. The backs of his nails dragged up the hard length of Lovett’s cock, catching little trails of lube left from the condom.Lovett whimpered at both the nibbles and the touch of Jordan’s hand. He closed his eyes and let out a soft moan. “That feels amazing. Don’t stop.” Lovett’s voice was quiet, but Jordan could tell it was on the verge of breaking.“Oh, I… I have no intention of doing any such thing.” Jordan pressed a little kiss to Lovett’s cheek, nearly giggling, forcing himself to be hesitant in wrapping his fingers around Lovett’s length. He’d done this before, but this time it was different. Jordan wanted this more than anything.Lovett turned his face so he could catch a kiss. “Good,” he murmured, his voice a bit strained.Jordan slipped his arm under the large pillow the were both sort of laying on together, and leaned in for another quick kiss. He gently nuzzled his cheek to Lovett’s, for sweeter than he could remember being with anyone in a while, than he wanted to be with anyone in a while. Jordan gripped his hand a little tighter and slowly, a pace that would drive anyone crazy, stroking his fist. Lovett gasped, his tummy pulled in slightly as he arched his back. The slow touch was sexy to Lovett. Most guys were in a hurry, so this was nice change. Lovett leaned in for another kiss, Jordan purred softly in response. He pressed his knee to the inside of Lovett’s rutting softly against his thigh. He pumped his fist nice and slow, nibbling up the side of Lovett’s neck.Lovett’s fingers wound through Jordan’s hair. The pomp pretty much deflated, leaving a shaggy, hair in the eyes ‘90s boy band situation that Lovett, heaven help him, found irresistible. Jordan kissed the corner of Lovett’s mouth. “You… want a little more, don’t you.” The words weren’t really meant for Lovett but rather for himself. Jordan was the one who wanted it more.“I could be convinced,” Lovett hummed. “What did you have in mind?”Jordan smirked and let out a soft chuckle. “Everything,” he said, pressing a little kiss to Lovett’s shoulder. “You’ve got me wanting… all sorts of things I never really wanted before.” Jordan couldn’t even remember wanting to be with anyone like this — not even Trevor.Lovett smiled sweetly at him. “I would be honored to be your guide,” he whispered, touching Jordan’s cheek with the tips of his fingers.Another little purr and Jordan pressed into Lovett’s kiss, pulling away long enough to kiss along his collarbone and down the middle of his chest. “Just… tell me if I’m getting warmer, hmm?”Lovett arched his back. “Warmer. Definitely… definitely warmer.”Jordan paused and smiled against Lovett’s torso. He exhaled a little snicker and grazed his teeth just a touch against the pudge of Lovett’s middle. With a little gasp his pulled back, and came to a fast realization: he was falling. Hard, and doing it so fast he was probably going to give himself whiplash. Lovett reached down and let his fingers run slowly through Jordan’s hair, his own slight nervousness becoming more obvious. Lovett hoped he could keep his cool long enough, his tummy flipping with the prospect of what was to come. Jordan pressed a kiss to the lower part of Lovett’s tummy, humming as the thick scent of him wafted up and assaulted his senses. Jordan took a deep breath, wordlessly glancing up at Lovett as he sat astride his knee, his hand coming up to cradle Lovett’s balls.Lovett whimpered. “Yes, please,” he hissed, his eyes falling closed.That was all Jordan needed. He closed his eyes and for a moment did all he could to quiet his thoughts. This wasn’t entirely his first rodeo, but part of him still wanted Lovett to believe that it was. He still wanted Lovett to enjoy the shift in power that tilted in his favor. He drew in another breath, and with his eyes still closed he flicked his tongue across the tip, tasting the remnants of lube and what he assumed was Lovett himself.Lovett shivered at the touch of Jordan’s tongue. “I don’t know if you want… instruction, or if you just want to wing it…” He laughed, trying to lighten the tension in the room.Jordan let out his own chuckle and pulled back slightly. “I think-“ He giggled, not entirely sure where the sound came from. “Maybe, I can… figure it out?”Lovett smiled; he liked it when sex didn’t have to be serious. He bumped Jordan’s cheek with his inner thigh. “You do that.”A little moan came up from the back of Jordan’s throat, and he turned to press a kiss to Lovett’s inner thigh. “And if I screw it up you can… I don’t know, you can scold me.”“Are you into that?” Lovett asked with a little smirk, playfully tugging on the ends of Jordan’s hair, not knowing just how much that turned Jordan on. He didn’t say another word, took another breath, his fingers gentle rolling Lovett’s balls as he cupped his mouth around the tip and started swirling his tongue, like a middle schooler kissing for the first time. “Y-you… you can use your hands, too. It will probably help you.” Jordan nodded and did just that, one hand wrapped around the root, moving in small strokes as he pushed his mouth further down around the head.“Oh, that’s good,” Lovett breathed, his eyes half closed. “Just keep… keep doing that.”The words of encouragement were music to Jordan’s ears. He closed his eyes and continued working his hand and mouth in as close to unison as he could manage, pulling his mouth tighter closed with every stroke. Lovett made a soft noise and raked his open hand through the back of Jordan’s hair, thoroughly enjoying this. Jordan heard sounds and hoped that he was doing it right, making Lovett feel as incredible as he did for Jordan. Every single nerve was on edge, but made him want more.Lovett cleared his throat to try and get more words of encouragement out. “Please… please don’t stop, Jordan. It feels… so good…”Jordan pulled his mouth away long enough to draw in a breath. He pumped his fist, lapping his tongue across the head. His name, said in that tone? Jordan took a very deep breath before dropping his mouth back down around Lovett’s cock, taking perhaps a little too much, letting himself gag before pulling back just a bit. Lovett felt a little snicker come up from the back of his throat. “We’ll get rid of that gag reflex in no time, baby.”Jordan pulled away completely and laughed, resting his forehead against the top of Lovett’s thigh. “This just means I need more practice, right?”Lovett nodded. “I volunteer as tribute.”That sent a shiver down Jordan’s spin, and he trembled visibly. “I’d ask you not to laugh, but.” He pressed his tongue flat against the head and slowly took Lovett back into his mouth. He closed his eyes and pushed himself just a little more, careful not to make himself gag again; this time, he didn’t pull away. Lovett groaned, Jordan’s name the only word on his lips. Lovett was a guy who was notoriously hard to get off. It always took time and his mind had to be in it. A lot had to go right. So it took him by surprise when he came hard with almost no warning.Again Jordan gagged, fighting whatever natural urge he had to pull away but did so anyway. Gasping, he swallowed involuntarily, taking back every drop. He panted and pressed his forehead to Lovett’s thigh.When Lovett slowly came to his senses, he gasped. “I’m so sorry. I normally give warning, but… I didn’t really have any.”Jordan’s shoulders heaved with every breath he took, and rather than say anything he pressed a kiss to Lovett’s thigh. “It… it’s okay,” he whispered, rough and out of breath.“Well, it… it isn’t, but thank you for saying so,” Lovett said with a small smile, petting Jordan tenderly.Jordan swallowed again, exhaling heavily as he sat back on his knees at the end of the bed, rubbing his hands against his thighs. “No, it-“ Jordan shook his head. “Really. It’s okay.” He innocently reached up and rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand.Lovett reached down and caught one of Jordan’s hands, knitting their fingers together. “Come here. Let me kiss you.” Jordan took another deep, almost nervous breath, and crawled closer to let Lovett kiss him, melting slowly into the kiss. Lovett wound his arms around Jordan and kissed him deeply, holding him tight as if he were afraid that Jordan would disappear. Though Jordan’s limbs were rather long, he was still able to pull himself into a ball and cuddle as close as Lovett could manage to pull him.Lovett nudged Jordan’s nose with his own and sighed, tracing the back of Jordan’s arms with his fingers. “I’m… a tough guy to get off. Everything has to go right for me to come. And you made me come so hard and sudden that I saw stars.” Jordan closed his eyes and hid a little smile at that; even if it may have been said to make him feel better, it really was a nice thing to hear. He slid his arm around Lovett’s middle and stretched out his legs, hoping to get closer. “Are… are you okay?” Lovett asked after several moments of nervous silence.“Yeah,” Jordan said with a little nod, squeezing Lovett’s middle. “Yeah, I-“ He laughed softly. “You know, I am. I’m not as sore as I thought I’d be, but I bet I will be in the morning.” He cleared his throat; he wondered if he’d be alone in the morning.“I did everything I could to help you not be sore,” Lovett replied. “I wanted to avoid the soreness. But I mean… if you’re not flexing your sex muscles a lot you’re probably going to be a little sore.”“Which-“ Jordan laughed. “Have not been flexed in… quite some time.” He nodded, admitting something out loud that he hadn’t said to anyone, including Trevor.Lovett nodded. “It’s been a while for me, too. I had one hookup after my last relationship ended I did a… bit of Grindr surfing, but… this was not well advised.”Jordan closed his eyes and snickered, making a mental note to go and find Lovett’s Grindr profile. “I’ve been so busy with work I really didn’t even notice,” he returned honestly. “After my ex left I just… I don’t know, I guess I just stopped caring.”“I know that feeling,” Lovett said, his voice almost too quiet. “It’s hard not to feel pretty aimless when a relationship ends. How long were you two together?”“Um, about four years,” Jordan answered. “We only lived together for two of those years. We dated while she was finishing up her masters. She lived in some… college apartment at the time, one of those like, twelve girls in a room deal. I had just moved to New York and was kind of in the same situation with a bunch of guys from UCB. In a house. Out on Staten Island.” He sighed. “Not our proudest moment.”“So… wait. She left you… right about the time you got your own show?”“A little bit,” Jordan nodded. “She was a little ticked off that I was more focused on work that her. She, who worked 60 hours a week at some mid-level ad agency pretending to be part of the change she wanted to see in the world.”Lovett snorted. “As someone who was once deeply married to his work and had a job where that was the only option, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt on that. My ex was flying around the world all the time. We only saw each other for like…. long weekends.”“Oh, that was never enough for her.” Jordan cleared his throat. “Even when I wasn’t trying to put a brand-new possibly life changing act together, she’d still come home and be like focus every single drop of your attention on me, Jordan.”“Well… I like your show,” Lovett returned. “So for my money it was definitely a good choice you made.”“It’s getting better.” Jordan looked up at Lovett. “We’re trying. We’re not…” He smacked his lips and quickly changed his train of thought. “Every day I meet people who are better at this than I am. Like… w-well people like you. You’re a much better writer than I am.”“I’m a different writer than you,” Lovett said, shrugging. “I’m not an improv guy. I’m kind of an okay stand-up god, but mostly I’m just really good at sassing our advertisers.”“Oh, no you’re very good,” Jordan said with a little nod. “Not that I’ve been using my commute to listen to you guys or anything.”Lovett blushed. “Y-yeah? And are you… entertained while you’re listening?”“Uh, a little bit,” Jordan said with a smile. He pressed a soft kiss to Lovett’s shoulder this made him shiver and pull himself closer to Jordan. “Cold?”Lovett nodded. “Can we get under the covers?” Jordan kind of squinted his eyes and nodded. It took a fair amount of scooting and tugging but finally the blankets were free and they were both under them. Jordan sighed happily. Lovett turned onto his side and snuggled from to front with Jordan, snaking one arm around his back. Lovett pushed one knee between Jordan’s thighs while he was at it. It was easy to be intimate with Jordan, and more than just the sex. “So much cozier.”“Normally I’m an icicle,” Jordan commented. He gently stroked his fingers up and down Lovett’s arm, moving down to his hips. “Guess that’s just what you do to me.”“Well I’m usually kind of warm, so me and my sweaty body will just have to warming you up.”“You promise?” Jordan pretended to shiver and just pulled himself closer to Lovett. This was so strange to him; Jordan couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so intimate with anyone.Lovett smiled. “If you would be into that. I’d like to maybe… see where this goes. We don’t have to just see each other or anything yet… I mean, you can try before you buy.”“Try… before I buy.” Jordan rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling for a long moment before letting out the softest, most nervous sound. Lovett looked at him, not really sure what the reaction was about and he wasn’t sure how to respond.Lovett went with sass. “This is a maybe we should see each other again, not a marriage proposal, Jordan. Now the real question is… do you want to fuck me now, or in the morning?”Jordan bit his bottom lip and looked up at the ceiling as if he were actually thinking about this. Once again, Lovett was about to take control. But Jordan wasn’t about to give this up without fight this time. “Um… can’t we have both?”