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Jacob's not dumb. He knows that he has an admirer, knows that he has multiple admirers—but this one is special.
This one is named Kevin Moon, and he isn't like all of the other people who like Jacob. Probably because those people aren't afraid to come up to him, batting their lashes or twirling their hair around their fingers. Those people aren't afraid to tell Jacob that they like him, or give him chocolates and ask him on dates. (Not that he said yes to any of them.)
No, Kevin Moon is different. It's not like he doesn't interact with Jacob ; t he two of them share friends, so they're around each other often. But Kevin is so shy that it hurts . In short, Jacob considers him a friend but doesn't know if Kevin returns the sentiments. He won't talk to Jacob unless he's prompted to or forced, instead staying buried in his sketchbook. Jacob's not sure if any of their friends have seen the drawings on the inside. —
"Get your asses moving! You can go faster than that!" Jacob hollers, and the freshman on the team all groan at his words but do what he says anyway.
"Stop bullying the kids," Juyeon scolds, a ball tucked under his arm and sweat dripping down his face and neck. "Let them be done after this lap, we're going to the diner after practice gets out.Sunwoo said he would finish soccer practice early today."
Jacob grimaces and grins at the same time. "I don't have any money," he half whines before yelling for the boys to stop as they finish their lap around the court.
"Fucking hell," One of the boys curses, dropping to lay flat on his stomach on the ground. Another one of them takes it upon himself to throw water bottles at all of them, and Jacob snickers softly.
"We're done for today," He calls, "Show up next practice or you'll be running suicides." One of the boys, Kibum, lets out a high pitched screech that causes Juyeon to bend at the waist with laughter.
Juyeon's still chuckling as he and Jacob walk to the locker room, throwing his basketball into his locker without care. "You're terrifying them," Juyeon says with a wheeze, and Jacob rolls his eyes.
"I'm not ," He protests, peeling his shirt off. "They just need to know that if they wanna be on this team, they have to work hard!"Juyeon scoffed a little, shaking his head with a teasing glint in his eyes. “Whatever you say, captain ," He sneers playfully. Jacob just ignores him.
Both of them take five minute showers, even though the water pressure in their locker room sucks ass. By the time they're done, the freshman have barely managed to pick themselves up off of the court.
Jacob's pulling on a sleeveless shirt, laughing at something one of the boys had said when the door opens again, and none other than Kevin Moon peeks his head inside. "Uh...we're gonna start walking to the diner," He mumbles, keeping his eyes on the floor.
"We'll meet you guys there, then," Juyeon decides, closing his locker with a slam. "Shit, that was loud, sorry."
"Alright," Kevin hums. He still won't look at Jacob.
"We're all gonna be walking home, right? Sangyeon hyung didn't drive to school today," Jacob remembers.
"Yep!" Kevin squeaks, and then hits his head walking out of the locker room. "Ouch fuck!" Jacob hears him whisper, and he can’t help but smile.
"You're whipped," Someone snickers at Jacob from their locker.
"And you're doing suicides next practice!" Jacob retorts. Kibum's screeches fill the locker room, able to be heard over everyone's laughter. — By the time Juyeon and Jacob arrive at the diner, all of the other boys are already there and settled into their normal spots. Sangyeon is at the head of the table, an empty spot on his right for Juyeon. The chair next to Younghoon and across from Kevin is reserved for Jacob, as always.
"We ordered what you guys normally get," Chanhee informs them. Jacob shoves his bag under the table, stretching his shoulders as he sits down.
"I hope you all know," He announces to the table as a whole, "that I spent all of my money and I don't have any to buy myself food." Each and every single one of them blink at him.
"You spent all of your money?" Sangyeon accuses. "Last time I looked in your wallet last week you had more than I do." He's got a knowing tone to his voice, and the look in his eyes just amplifies it. Jacob bites back a sigh.
"What did you buy that costs that much money anyway?"
Jacob blinks at Changmin's question, drawing it out unintentionally. He could tell the truth, but does he really want to? No, not really. He has a reputation to uphold, even if they've all seen behind it already. "Nothing important," He decides to say, and gets narrowed eyes back in return.
" Anyways !" Haknyeon starts and Jacob sighs, thankful for the distraction. "I have to tell you guys what happened to me in chem today, I still can't believe this girl tried it with me." Haknyeon's eyes look cold under the bright lights of the diner, almost like a shark, and Jacob knows that he's trying to make Sunwoo jealous. Because he's Ju Haknyeon and that's what he does. Sure enough, Sunwoo tenses up when Haknyeon mentions the girl who'd "tried to ask me out on a date, like she doesn't know I'm gay on every level."
Jacob tries to listen to the conversations going on around him, he really does, but he's more distracted by the eyes on him. — Kevin has a problem. He knows, his family knows, his friends know, and it's getting a little out of hand. But it's not his fault that Jacob is—well, Jacob. he's kind and he's got a heart as beautiful as he is, and Kevin swears that everything about him is perfect.
His perfection is the reason Kevin has filled sketchbooks with drawings and sketches of Jacob. They're all realistic, all detailed, and his friends say that they look just like Jacob. But Kevin knows that he can't do the boy's features justice, and that every time he tries to draw him, something turns out wrong. He's not really sure what it is, but it's something , and it drives him wild that he can't fix it.
This is why Kevin is staring. It's not because he has a crush. Absolutely not. It's because Kevin, as an artist, can appreciate art, and that's exactly what Jacob is. Stop lying to yourself, you pussy , the voice in his head that sounds too much like Sunwoo chimes in. Kevin turns his eyes away from Jacob.
"—right, Kevin?"Kevin blinks sheepishly. Younghoon and half of the table are staring at him in expectation, the other half engaged in a conversation about something that he's too out of it to listen to.
"I really wasn't listening," He admits, and Eric snickers.
"Too busy sta—" Kevin stomps on Eric’s toes, efficiently shutting him up. " Yep . Too busy zoning out," Eric says quickly. There's pain noticeable in the strain in his voice this time. Changmin's trying not to laugh.
It's at that moment that his phone vibrates, and his face falls as soon as he checks the text.
jungie: i told her and she ran away????
jungie: like,,, she looked at me and just ran ????
moonboy: meet me @ the park in five
"I have to go," Kevin mumbles, biting his lip. "There's been a bit of an emergency — no one's hurt. Physically."
"Everything's okay though? You don't need a ride anywhere?" Sangyeon questions, sounding like the dad he is. Kevin shakes his head, standing up quickly.
"What happened?" Sunwoo wonders, and Kevin smiles bitterly.
"Yoojung." Only Eric, Sunwoo and Changmin understand what he's saying, and they all frown. "I'll make sure she's okay, though. Don't worry too much, alright?"
Kevin doesn't grab his bag before he walks out...and that's such a big mistake.
—
"Kevin~" Changmin sing-songs, flopping down on the couch next to Kevin. "Your mom let me in because you forgot your bag at the cafe earlier." Said bag is still hanging from his fingertips, the bottom brushing the ground, and he drops it with a thunk ."Oh my god, I didn't even think about it before I left, thank you for bringing it to me—" He rambles, and Changmin slams his head down onto his thigh to make him stop."It's not that deep, calm down," Changmin rolls his eyes, "You're just freaking out because your sketchbook is in there, aren't you?" The sheepish look he gets in response as Kevin leans down to pick his bag up is answer enough. "What happened with Yoojung, by the way? Is she alright?""She's fine," Kevin dismisses, reaching into his bag. "Doyeon ran away from her because she didn't know how to answer, but then she texted Yoojung a while ago and said that she likes her too. They're dating now, I guess. It's what they deserve, honestl—" Kevin's voice cracks. " Changmin . Where's my sketchbook?""It's in your bag... It's in your bag, right ?"Kevin narrows his eyes, turning his bag upside down. Out of everything that falls out and onto the ground, his sketchbook isn't one of the objects."This was not my fault." Is the first thing out of Changmin's mouth. "Not my fault, I didn't do that, I don't know which one of them took it but it was not me—”"Tomorrow is the day I kill someone. Not today because I'm tired—which, go home, it's like 10pm what the fuck!" Kevin snaps and Changmin laughs, loud and bright, and then bounds out of Kevin's house, throwing a goodbye over his shoulder.
Kevin lays in bed that night, tossing and turning. His mind is running wild. Where's my sketchbook? Oh my god what if Jacob has it? He knows he's probably thinking irrationally, but at the same time, who knows with their group of friends. It could be at the bottom of a ditch somewhere! That voice in his head sounds too much like Haknyeon for his liking—he falls asleep trying to block it out.At his house a few streets away, Jacob is flipping through the pages of Kevin’s sketchbook, the smile on his face so big that his eyes crinkle up at the corners.
— When Kevin gets to school the next day, Eric is waiting by his locker with an apologetic and almost fearful smile on his face. "Hyung," He says as a greeting, "Don't kill me."
"I really should," Kevin hisses, "Considering I don't know where my embarrassing drawings went."
"About that… I um… so listen, let me explain. I picked it up when we went to leave, right? I was gonna take it to you at your house, but then mom said we had somewhere to go, so I gave it to Changmin for him to give to you. But your sketchbook fell out and…” “Eric,” Kevin growls, “Speed it up. I don’t have it, you don’t, Changmin doesn’t. Who has my sketchbook?”“I think I saw Jacob pick it up,” Eric squeaks, and Kevin wants to shove himself into his locker.“You owe me big time for this.” Eric runs off at the sound of the bell, the back of his neck red, and Kevin sighs. — “Is Eric still alive?” Hyunjoon wonders when Kevin walks into first period.“I’m going to kill him later,” He informs, a sweet smile on his face.The next hour or two passes by in a blur. He’s a little too anxious to be fully conscious of what’s going on, a little too in his own mind to focus on school. He’s gonna hate me, is playing in his mind on repeat. He’s going to think I’m weird and a creep and then he’s gonna stop coming to diner nights and I’m going to break up our friend group. Lunch comes and Kevin doesn’t want to go to the lunchroom. He’s so anxious and it really does suck, because he has nothing to do about it. He drew Yoojung and Doyeon in art instead of Jacob, much to his teacher’s disappointment— why was she so disappointed? Kevin didn’t understand.When Kevin passes by the doors to the lunchroom, he sees Hyunjae giving him a confused look from the table, and Sangyeon smiling reassuringly. Juyeon’s got this absolutely infuriating smile on his face, which Kevin knows is just to piss him off. Everyone else doesn’t see him, and Sunwoo, Haknyeon and Jacob are nowhere to be found.Kevin throws his bag down on the roots of the largest tree in the courtyard, leaning his back against the trunk and closing his eyes. Idiot , his brain whispers to him, the voice his own this time. He’s not going to want you. He’ll reject you. He’ll push you away. Don’t get your ho— “Kevin?” His eyes fly open, fingers digging into the denim of his jeans, and he frowns when he sees Jacob in front of him. He’s got his hands behind his back, a concerned smile on his face, and this , god this is what Kevin was missing in all those drawings.He was missing the way Jacob’s voice got all soft, the shine in his eyes, the way the tips of his ears got red—the tiny details that he couldn’t possibly portray in his art. Looking up at him now, Jacob’s soft expression and messy (although fluffy) hair, Kevin knows that it would take more years to memorize Jacob.But he probably doesn’t have years, he has right now. And right now, he’s going to confess.“Yeah. I... uh... I think I have something to tell you, maybe and...” Well he was going to confess, but his brain just went blank .“Calm down,” Jacob tells him with a soft laugh, sitting down in the dirt next to him. “I just wanted to give this back.” Jacob opened his backpack and pulled out Kevin’s sketchbook, still worn out and aged.“Thank you, seriously,” He’s saying, but he feels like he could cry. So much for confessing .“The drawings are beautiful, y’know.” This is when Kevin feels his heart start beating impossibly fast. “I’m flattered, that you’re really see me that way.” Kevin doesn’t respond. It’s like all of the words in his head, everything that he’d planned and practiced, it’s all gone now. Nowhere to be found.“Actually, I have something else for you too.” Jacob reaches further into his bag and takes out something else. Something that looks suspiciously like...another sketchbook? “I bought this for you a while ago, but I chickened out giving it to you. I noticed you’ve been using the same sketchbook for a while and figured you’d almost used it up, so…” he hands the gift to Kevin.Kevin takes it in his hands in wonder. It’s a beautiful, brand-new leather-bound sketchbook. It feels expensive .“I hope you like it,” Jacob says uncertainly. “I wanted to get you something nice but also practical. I wasn’t sure what would suit you best so I um.. went and asked your art teacher for recommendations. She was really nice and helped me pick one out.”“It’s perfect,” Kevin says truthfully, running his hands over the cover in awe. His cheeks burn and his heart is stuck in his throat. Did Jacob Bae really just buy him, Kevin Moon, a gift? “Thank you. Thank you so much.”“It was nothing,” Jacob smiles and ducks his head shyly. The empty wallet in his pocket argues otherwise.“But why… why would you?” Kevin manages to ask.“I just wanted to. And I like you.”Kevin’s head snaps to the right to look at the other boy, jaw dropped in shock. Jacob’s still grinning, wider this time, the tips of his ears heating up.“You—huh?” Eloquent, Kevin, great job. “I said I like you. I’m asking if you want to be my boyfriend,” He clarifies, and Kevin’s head goes blank all over again. He can only stare at him, eyes wide, his cheeks flushed red.“Your boyfriend? Me? You want me to be your boyfriend?” He gets a nod in response. “But… I’m… huh?”“You’re Kevin, yes, and I’d like to date y— what’s wrong?” Kevin’s not really sure why he’s crying, but he buries his face in his knees out of embarrassment, shaking his head. “Why are you crying, did I say something, I’m sorry…”He lets out a wet laugh into his jeans at Jacob panicking, lifting his head up a little. “I’m just overwhelmed,” and surprised and shocked and everything else, he doesn’t add. “Eric told me you had my sketchbook and I freaked out because… well, you know. And then you came and talked to me and my head went blank , I had no clue what to say and then you bought me a new sketchbook and asked me to be your boyfriend— yes, by the way— and I didn’t know what to do but…”“Wait, yes ?” Jacob looks so excited, like a kid that just got a lollipop. He throws his arms around Kevin, the position a little awkward considering they’re both shoved up against a tree. Kevin squeaks anyway, still disbelieving. Needless to say, Kevin has all the time he wants to memorize Jacob now.