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It had been three weeks since Jaing and most of his brothers left Coruscant. In the end not one of them even told Roxil they were leaving. Jatne and Ordo came to break the news, they wouldn’t even tell him where their brothers went. He had spent every moment since then in his spirit shape, the nearly 300 kilo cat. Kal and Ordo gave up trying to sooth him after a few days, Jatne was much more determined. Even he gave up after a week passed and Roxil still refused to shift back. He knew how stubborn Roxil could be. If the Lunar refused to be persuaded there was nothing they could do to force him. Now Kal, Ordo, and a few commando squads were busy with work right here on home turf. Roxil was left on his own, he showed up around the safe house occasionally and prowled around as if he was keeping guard but he still wouldn’t shift back. It wasn’t that he was mad at them for leaving, he was mad that they thought he wouldn’t understand. For whatever reason they thought he couldn’t be told that they were leaving their family to go to war, he had been the one leaving for war many times himself, of course he would understand. Every day they didn’t fight lives were lost that could have been saved by intel they were equipped to gather, Roxil knew exactly how heavy that feeling was on the heart.One of them kept sending messages to the commlink Roxil stashed before shifting, he didn’t know which one just that it couldn’t be Jaing – he was the only one that knew Roxil couldn’t read. Somehow the fact that Jaing wasn’t the one trying to contact him only hurt more. Roxil loved Jatne, and he enjoyed Ordo’s company, but right now he felt more alone than he ever had even on the edges of Chaos in the Middlemarches of the Wyld. It was late enough that everyone should be asleep; maybe he didn’t want to talk to anyone, but he still wanted to be near them. He shifted into a small arboreal rodent to discretely climb the building before returning to his spirit shape to curl up and sleep. There was a smell lingering around the space that was nearly unbearable to his heightened senses but at least he was near his friends. It was unlike him to sleep so heavily someone could sneak up on him but he woke suddenly to the sound of a somewhat familiar voice, a clone’s voice.“Smells like strill out here. Ordo said a big cat might be lurking around, didn’t think he meant that big.” The clone sat on the bench and pulled a small bag from his pocket, it was filled with something that smelled wonderfully sweet. I am not lurking. Roxil would have greeted him, but he couldn’t speak in animal shapes and wasn’t ready to be a person again. “Mind if I hang around? Can’t sleep.” Roxil shook his head before resting it back on his paws. “You understand me? Clever cat,” Apparently this commando, Roxil was pretty sure his name was Fi, didn’t know the cat in front of him was a person. They both sat silently for a while until Fi felt Roxil’s nose digging into his pocket; he chuckled. “Smell something good in there? You know, Ordo said not to bother you. Said you’ve been sour, don’t know how he can tell… but you don’t seem so bad.” He pulled out a second bag and offered Roxil a few strips of dried meat. “A little copikla if you ignore the giant teeth and claws. You’re not like any cat I’ve ever seen.” He cautiously ran his fingers through Roxil’s fur along one of the silver marks. Most humans were nervous around Roxil’s spirit form if they didn’t know it was him. Fi seemed completely unconcerned that this beast had teeth the size of his fingers. “I guess you can’t even understand me, huh? It’s actually comforting, I think… sometimes I just want to talk without even knowing what I need to say. I’ve got all these thoughts in my head that don’t even make sense.”Roxil stood lazily and pulled himself up onto the bench to curl up with his head on Fi’s lap. He couldn’t resist purring when the commando absent-mindedly scratched behind his ear. He wasn’t ready to be a person again yet, but this was exactly what he needed to be in the moment anyway. Maybe it was deceitful, but he couldn’t bring himself to think he was wrong. If he couldn’t bring any comfort to someone in need, wasn’t that for the best?“I lost my first brothers, I think of them every day.” That caught Roxil off guard. “All three of them, back on Geonosis. We were never meant for infantry fighting but that’s what we were commanded to do and three of my brothers are dead. I had been with them since I was born. I have new brothers now, it took some time but I love them. I was so scared when we thought Dar might be dead, when Atin got shot, all I could think was it was happening again. I was going to be alone.”Roxil couldn’t help it, Tawasu taught him to convey thoughts with body language while in animal form. It was difficult, and he had to simplify what he wanted to say, but it was possible. But I still envy you. He managed that easily with the look in his eyes and the way he moved his head. It was the next part he had to think about carefully. Knowing from birth brothers you could rely on. It always hurts to lose family – like losing a piece of your own heart – but you are never alone. The commando stared at him silently for a moment and shook his head. He couldn’t rationalize that from a cat, he was probably trying to brush it off as projecting his own intuition. Maybe that would also help to boost his morale.“The Nulls like to make a comparison to cage raised animals. Do you ever feel like that? You don’t even know what you would do with freedom if you got it. Kal’buir asked if I wanted some credits to spend in the city, I couldn’t even think of what I’d buy. I guess I should just pack it in, get sorted, and keep fighting. If I’m lucky I’ll die with grace and pride because I’m among the best. I do envy Dar with Etain, Atin and Laseema. They’ve found something I can’t imagine. I just…” He paused when Roxil curled closer against him, he wrapped his long fluffy tail over Fi’s lap. He stayed perfectly motionless, allowing Fi to run fingers through his fur. He purred loudly at least until the door opened. Ordo stared at him blankly for a full second before reacting.“Ro’ika?” He didn’t entirely seem sure what he was going to say. Jatne cut in.“Jaing has been out of com range but he’s safe. The di’kut has been sending them messages instead of me. So obviously you haven’t told any of them that you can’t-” Roxil cut him off by shifting instantaneously, he chose his female true form this time. Fi was clearly shocked and confused.”“It isn’t important.”“Apparently it is or you would know that Jaing agreed, when he get’s back. There are conditions of course. Honesty for one, you can tell our brothers, he can, or I can. Take your pick. Second is that you get clean first.”“I am clean! I bathe regularly!”“The drug,” He tossed a small clear bag to Roxil, in it was some of the shimmering white powder Roxil frequently inhaled. “Yeah, we took some and analyzed it. That stuff is dangerous Ro’ika.”“Dangerous for mortals yes,”“Mortals?” Fi’s question went ignored.“Argue if you’d like, but it’s non-negotiable. Now,” He tapped a few commands on his gauntlet. “I’ve got a secure link to all my brothers, have you made your choice?”“Why does it matter?”“Jat’ika? You there, ner vod?” Roxil could hear Mereel over the commlink. Jatne raised his eyebrow, waiting for Roxil to make a choice. He held out the device, Roxil took it with a defiant look.“Mer’ika,”“Oh, so you finally got my message?”“I might have, I don’t really know.”“You don’t know?”“Ro’ika…” Jatne was tapping his foot impatiently, arms crossed over his chest. Roxil remained silent until Jatne began speaking.“I can’t read.” Roxil blurted out. “As a slave I wasn’t taught, as a lone orphan I didn’t have the opportunity to learn, and as a god I simply didn’t have time.” He spoke quickly as though he needed to justify himself, Mereel didn’t respond. “Now… I can’t. I just can’t.”“Well you did just learn the language,” Kom’rk’s voice came over. “We can help.”“You should have told us sooner,” A’den said. “You know we’re exceptionally clever, right? We can teach you.”“I can’t…”“Sorry I’m late to the party, vode. What’s going on? I’ve only got a moment before someone notices their satellite is rogue.” That was the only voice Roxil wanted to hear, and at the same time it was the last voice Roxil wanted to hear.“Su cuy’gar, Jaing. Roxil was just telling us-” Prudii’s voice was cut off when Roxil gripped the commlink a little too hard. The broken pieces fell from his hand and he jumped from the balcony disappearing into the abyss below, dragging the innocent commando along with him.“Sorry, vode,” Ordo retrieved his own commlink. “Technical difficulties. We’ll get back to you on the literacy problem, our student bolted. Me’vaar ti gar?” He gave thumbs-up expression when Jatne indicated he was going to try to find Roxil. There weren’t many places he would go if he was towing another person along. He checked the nearest cantina first and found Fi looking rather awkward sitting in a booth alone. Roxil, however, was nowhere to be seen.