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1947 Grant heard a knock on the front door of his apartment. He frowned since he was not expecting any visitors this late in the evening. On the other side of the door stood Floyd Talbert, a man he had not seen in over a year. The last time he had set eyes on the man was in a hospital in New York. Tab had promised before Grant was taken to America he would visit as soon as he got to America and since the only visit between the two letters had bridged the distance. This visit came as a surprise and shock to him. They had not written each other in months and he had inquired about Tab to the other men who had no idea what happened to him. It sent a sense of panic through him the pair were so close and there were so many words left unsaid between them. He knew this visit would bring them to the forefront and decide where their relationship would go.
He smiled at Tab and gestured for the man to follow him. There was hesitation evident in the man’s frame. Tab looked worse since he had lost weight and had dark bags under his eyes. Seeing Tab in civilian clothes still felt odd and he knew the same could be said for Tab. “ Floyd, what are you doing here? I have not heard from you in months.” Grant asked him as he led to the way to the kitchen. After a long heavy pause, he got an answer. “ I needed to get away and be somewhere where no really knew me. After everything you told me about California I wanted to visit and see you.” The answer stunned him he had not expected Tab to ever visit him for a few years. He knew from some of the other men in the company that Tab was struggling. He had a hunch Tab needed to be around someone who understood all he had gone through. Floyd had become his closest friend during the war and towards the end of the war, the relationship had started to evolve into something more. Then he had been shot and everything crashed down around him. Even in the many hospital visits, they had always avoided talking about where their relationship stood. He met Floyd’s stare and saw so much uncertainty in it. Grant reached out and laid a hand on his arm. Trying to convey him being here did not bother him and he did want this man who meant so much to be here.
“ It is nice to see you. I want you to know you can stay here as long as you need. I will even help you find a job if you want to. For now, let’s get you some coffee and food.” Grant told him as he led the man to the table.
He busied himself with making dinner and coffee. It was a lot harder with the feeling gone from his left side and such an easy task as making dinner became a lot harder. The silence between the pair was not one of tension but full of so much unspoken. The development of their relationship stopped when he had to enter the recovery programs. Tab had told him time and time again there would no talks about it until he recovered. He knew it was for the best but he still wanted to know where they stood. Luz had told him how Tab acted after he was shot. Tab was anxious and very on edge until he had woken up from the coma. Seeing someone he cared deeply for almost dying had changed Tab and he saw that when he woke up after surgery. Tab had stayed by his side and ended up being the first person Grant laid eyes on when he woke up. He had seen Tab’s shoulders sink in relief and tears well up in his green eyes as he watched Grant ask what happened. As he watched Tab fiddle with a loose string on his shirt he knew the pair being together again would change whatever relationship they had prematurely halted. Even more, than the gunshot had done. He walked back to the table setting the food and coffee down. He sat down and smiled at him trying to put him at ease.
“Chuck this means the world to me and I promise I will not be a nuisance. I know I should have given you a heads up but I just wanted to see you.” Tab said sincerity laced throughout his voice. “Floyd you are always welcome here and you will never be a nuisance to me. I have always considered you a close friend and later when we get our shit together we need to talk about what we attempted to start in Europe.” Grant told him.“ You still want we what we had started there. I never talked about or brought it up since I never knew what you were thinking and you needed to recover. And after you were shot there were more important things to worry about.” Tab said.“ What we started in Europe is something I cannot stop thinking about. If you still want I am here. Just let us get to know each other again then when the time is right we will talk about it.”They had finished eating and went to put the plates in the kitchen. Grant touched his arm and pulled Floyd into a hug. He felt the other man stiffening but he felt his arms around him. For the first time since being released from the hospital, he felt at peace and sense of normalcy return.He felt his shoulders shake as Floyd let out pent-up emotions. Grant tried to not let everything overwhelm him. He let go and just let them out too. They clutched at each other comforted by the fact they were here together. There was the always the thought in the back of his mind since Tab visited him that the meeting with him would be the last they ever saw of each other. But the thought was now slowly going away with Tab in his arms.
Tab and Grant stood wrapped in each other's arms not speaking and just taking in the feel of each other’s bodies. Grant reached up and ran his fingers through Tab’s hair now that he was not in the paratroopers his hair had grown out. It was a thrilling feeling to touch him freely without the concern of other troopers walking in on them. Tab let out a sigh and buried his head in Grant’s shoulder. The tension he could feel from Tab melted away and it felt good to know Tab would do better here.Deep down he knew having him here would do him some good too. Meeting Tab changed his life and since Toccoa they always had each other. He guided Tab to the guest room and showed him where the shower was. Tab look like he could use a shower and a long night of rest. He needed the sleep too this day had been full of so many emotions coming out with the unexpected visit from his lost love. He gave him one last hug before going back to the room on the other side of the hallway to go to sleep.He changed into his old Camp Toccoa shirt and sweats before pulling the covers down from the bed and nudging the cat to the other side. The cat, Sherman, was a gift from Liebgott who had dropped by one day with a small kitten. Of all things for Liebgott to bring over it was a kitten. She was a small black and white cat who wreaked havoc on his house and life.Leave it to Liebgott to give him a cat with no warning and leave. That lead to random visits from Liebgott and Christenson who found the cat. Now he could not imagine his life without her. He got her to settle down on his chest while messed the blanket piles she had created while he was at work. He settled down for what became a restless night of little sleep.The morning saw him trudging bleary-eyed with little Sherman following behind him. She was so needy until she got fed. He scooped her up and let her get settled in the crook of his right arm. Sherman loved snuggling and it was calming to have the little kitten around. Grant set her down and got her fed before she created a fuss. While she ate he got the coffee going. He knew Tab would wake up when he smelled coffee. During the war that was the easiest way to get Tab up and all the men too.His coffee tasted better than the army coffee which was watery. Breakfast was made by the time he heard quiet footsteps coming down the hallway. Tab, as usual, had very impressive bed head and was also wearing his Camp Toccoa shirt too. He felt Tab’s stare on him and glance his way. Tab blushed as he met his glance and went back to making coffee.Grant shook his head at it he knew they both had a lot of emotions to work through, “ Morning Floyd did you sleep okay?”“ I slept good and it was the best sleep I have had since coming home from the war.” Floyd answered as he sipped his coffee. “ And when did you get a cat?”Grant was concerned about Tab now, “ Well that is good to hear. I wish I could say the same for me. And her name is Sherman Liebgott gave her to me.”Tab looked up from his coffee in surprise, “ You are in contact with Liebgott? I have not heard from him in almost a year and he gave you a cat.”He did not realize until this moment how much Liebgott had been avoiding talking to the guys, “ Yes I am. I see him every week or so along with a few of the other guys who live in the area. If you want you could come with me when we meet Saturday.”Tab looked indecisive as he dug into his breakfast. Grant understood the hesitation since every man handled the war differently. If he was not okay with meeting Liebgott he understood. For him seeing the guys was so helpful to his recovery and return to normal life. He looked forward to the meetings and the letters he received.Sherman had crawled into Tab’s lap and fallen asleep. It seems she had taken to this unexpected visitor. Tab had a wide smile on his face as he petted the kitten. There was already a sense of lightness to the man across from him he was still far from okay. But in time they would be okay but never like it was before the war.Tab finally broke the silence between the two, “ I would like to see Liebgott and any of the other guys who come by. While I want to forget the war I could never forget the men I fought with especially you.”Again Tab threw him another curveball. He had sincerely thought Tab would never be seen again and the men thought that too. Now he was admitting the guys were still important to him and there was a chance at a relationship with him. God, he wanted it so bad it hurt him almost as much as his need to kiss him. But he knew doing so would change their relationship too fast and they needed to relearn each other outside of war.
The first time they kissed was after the failed patrol where they had lost a man. Tab had pulled him behind a blown out building and kissed him for ages, hands roaming over each other's bodies. They had talked about what they wanted from the relationship and that this needed to wait till after the war. Little did they realize waiting till the war ended would take a tragic turn.Now he wanted to talk about it but he could tell the man in front of him, neither of them was anywhere ready to talk about it. For now, he wanted to enjoy having Tab back in his life. He was taken out of his thoughts by a hand shaking his arm. Tab looked at him with concern written on his face.“ Chuck you alright? Was it something I said. I know me turning up out of the blue brings up memories you might not want to talk about” Floyd asked him concern written on his face.“ I am fine do not worry. It is just very good you're here and we can reconnect. I have some things planned for today if you want to have a tour of the city.”Tab looked very excited instead of his concerned face he had before, “ I would love that, I can already see why you talked so much about missing San Francisco.”They went to get ready for the day with little Sherman following behind them. He knew from previous experiences Tab took forever to get ready for the day. His way of getting ready was finding clean clothes and hoping they matched. He got ready and waited for Tab to get ready by reading on the couch with Sherman a tiny ball on his lap.“ You all ready for the day.” He heard Tab ask from where he sat next to him.Grant turned and his breath caught in his chest. Tab had styled his hair back and had on a short sleeved button up with khakis. Seeing Floyd in civilian clothes always took him by surprise and stole his breath. For most of the time they had known each other it had been in army issued clothes. The first time he had seen Tab in his civvies stood out to him clearly in his mind. Tab had come to visit him in a hospital in New York after the war. Through the letters back and forth between them, Tab made a promise to visit as soon as he landed in New York. Grant had not thought Tab would keep the promise. He knew it could be hard to see him like this and he would not have blamed him for not showing up. Tab wore clothes similar to what he wore today, a button down with khakis, and just like today, Grant was stunned. The hospital held more emotional context as they fought back tears at seeing each other. Grant had never been happier to see someone again. Especially since he had thought he would never lay eyes on Tab again. While the hospital held the emotions of lovers meeting again, the sight of each other in civilian clothes held a symbol of the war ending. Now they were starting a new beginning out of the military with no one to watch them. Tab had a huge smile on his face as the pair of them went out to explore San Francisco. The weather was just right for exploring the town and spending time together. He took Tab to the local bakery he frequented to get pastries. Tab had a sweet tooth that lead him to barter for chocolate during the war. He made sure to get the biggest pastry for Tab while he did not get as much food. He did not have much of an appetite after being shot. But he could eat a bunch of cinnamon rolls. Tab had found a small table in the back and was eating his large chocolate pastry with a cup of coffee. He sat down across from him with his oversized iced cinnamon roll and coffee.The conversation was subdued but still full of life. Grant was telling him the infamous story of how he ended up with Sherman. “ I got a call from Liebgott and he asked if he could bring me something since he was in my neighborhood. I should have known by the mischievous tone of voice he was up to no good. He shows up for lunch and there was Sherman sleeping in his field jacket. By the end of lunch, he convinced me to take her. I fell in love with her right away and she was not too keen on me. But we get along well now and I’ll have to show some pictures of her.” Tab laughed and told him “ Honestly that does not surprise me at all. He knew you could take care of her and give her a good home. Even though he did surprise you with her. And I would love to see all the cat pictures.” “ That is true and I will show you all of them. I even managed to get one of Liebgott with the cat too do not tell him that though.” Grant told him with a smirk. “ I am not going to say anything at all that is just too good to pass up holding that as ammo.” Tab said. “ Honestly it is too good to pass up. He was so wrapped up in snuggling her I had to get a picture.” Grant said “ It is good to see the guys laughing and being carefree after all we have been through.” “ It is and it is nice to see you so happy too. I know you have changed personality wise I can already tell. You are a lot more serious and guarded. But I knew that it would happen when you were shot.” Tab darkened the mood a bit
Chuck knew the huge elephant in the room would have to come out and reveal itself soon, “ I have and it is hard to grapple with but I am getting used to this new reality. I do not think I could have gone through being shot and stayed the same. It is life altering and frightening.” “ I do not know what you went through I just saw it from the sidelines. But I am so happy you're alive and here with me. And I am happy I got the courage up to come here. I almost did not get here but I knew this trip was worth it.”
“It is hard to talk about but know I am elated to see you here. When I come to terms with more of what happened I will tell you. But for now let’s just go around town like we planned.”
“ That sounds swell. I didn't mean to darken the mood it is just I’ve noticed how much everything drastically changed after the war. And how all of us veterans are expected to go on as if we had not done and seen what we did see.” Tab made an apology. The air cleared for now of the tension that had appeared. Tab and him headed out into the humid day. The hills were hidden with thick fog. It a was windy and humid day which had Tab venting about the weather. Grant enjoyed these foggy mornings and looked forward to the morning walks. “ Chuck, we have to go to the beaches. I have never been before to one and it just looks so peaceful.” Tab said with a tone of wonder. “ I had planned to take you to the beach. Your trip here would not be complete without a visit to the beach. We will make a day of it since there is so much to do out there.” Grant told him. Seeing Tab this happy and carefree like he was before the war had him feeling better. Both of them were struggling him with recovery and Tab with his war memories. He had a setback in physical therapy casting a dark cloud over his recovery process and his life. The combination of an excited Tab and the sea breeze as they walked lifted the doubt and dread eating away at his mind. He had not seen Tab this full of life and wonder since they got passes for London. But he gleaned from murmured late night conversations Tab had longed to see the coast and come visit him.He had a plan for the coast but they needed to patch the holes in their relationship and figure out what they were. It would happen in time the frayed strands of their tattered relationship knitting themselves back together. It would never be the same as before the injury and what they had embarked on after the patrol. But they were building a good foundation to start anew and learn each other again. The fundamental parts had not changed but they had.Grant decided to take Tab to a used bookstore. It was impromptu but he wanted to show Tab he still remembered what bonded the pair and what they had in common. Each and every place he would show him for as long as the pair was together would show Tab his life and how he could fit in it. Hopefully, he could see it and would get the subtle hints he was dropping. They walked around until they came to a used bookstore Grant had frequented before the war. He had found out when Tab was not causing trouble and pranking the other men that Tab read a lot and the new fact had helped them get closer. The pair had been close since Toccoa but during their time in England, they had become very close. Spending most of their time together from then on. He watched as Tab got so excited when he entered the bookstore. The shelves were bursting with new books and tattered old books. Grant went here often for the nostalgia and the old paperbacks. He had not seen him this happy since England when they were given weekend passes. The old armchairs in the back called his name and he gathered a few books to read while the other man explored the store. The emotionally charged night before had left him tired despite having gotten the best rest since before the war. He spotted Tab lost in thought rifling through a shelf bursting with old paperbacks. The stack he had was quite alarming and he wondered how the hell they were going to get that home. They still had the grocery shop to go to and get stuff for the week. He also planned to surprise Tab with a peach cobbler. Even though he could not say anything with how big his stack of books was. Tab sat down in the old armchair next to him having slimmed down his stack of books. Between the two of them, they were going to have a make an extra trip home. He had not planned to make an extra trip but there was no avoiding the book buying. “ What is on the agenda for the rest of the day?” Tab asked him. “We were supposed to go to the grocery store but we need to make a trip home for all the books we are buying. Then after groceries, I am taking you to a restaurant on the pier. Then we can do whatever we wish.” Grant told him. Tab laughed, “we should have planned out this better.” Grant nodded at what he had said. He had not done much planning just excited with the fact Tab was here. There was also the fact neither of them wanted to be set on a schedule after serving in the army. They sat and enjoyed the books and the atmosphere for a while longer. The trek back to the house was not bad even with the mountain of books they had acquired. The day was still not too warm and the fog had lifted leaving a view of the Victorian houses and the bustling crowds. It was not the afternoon yet so the crowds were bearable. Tab had put on his aviators looking very stylish in his aviators. Grant shook his head in fond amusement as the sunglasses added an extra swagger to the man’s walk. He decided to surprise him with a visit to a local diner that he loved. Tab got more excited as they approached, he did not know how long he had Floyd for but he was making sure he saw places important to his life. The diner was a place he frequented after his shop closed.Tab opened the door for him and a couple behind them. The smell of freshly baked bread and fried foods hit him, the smells comforted him and reminded him of simpler times. The older woman who owned the diner wrapped him up in a hug. They had bonded after she realized how many times a week he came in. One hard evening after he had ended up spilling his guts to her she had become a mother figure to him.She saw him behind Tab and enveloped him in a hug. He introduced Tab to her and she gave him a hug as well. They went to his usual table in the back and sat down.
They got coffee and burgers. Tab letting him order for him. The diner was crowded full of the late lunch crowd but the cozy atmosphere helped put the pair at ease and they ordered hamburger and a club sandwich. Tab and him spent the time waiting for the food catching up.“Tab what were you doing before you came here. You always told me you wanted to go get a degree.” Grant asked. He has so many questions unanswered as the letters between them had ebbed away.“ I did not go to college as planned. The world is changing so much and I feel like I am lost in it. Working is all I have done until I realized I was avoiding and throwing away a relationship I so enjoyed and wanted. And what have you been doing besides opening the business.”
“With college go at the right time. And I had planned to find you and visit but you showed up. Besides my business, I have been recovering and figuring out my limits now. The doctor says I have no feeling in my left arm and my left side is numb. The prognoses on it is there is no way it will change. Otherwise, my health is okay. The other project I have is organizing the reunion that will be here with Luz and Guarnere.”Tab looked at him with multiple emotions flitting across his face, “ God Chuck I am beyond relieved your health is improving. Seeing you in the hospital so weak and not doing well scared me. And I cannot wait for the reunion seeing the guys will be just like old times.”“ The reunion is helping me push towards getting healthy. There are some men who I want to reconnect with like Doc Roe. I talked to Babe and he is going to see Roe this week. He has not contacted me or a lot of the guys.” Chuck told him hoping he had an answer. Gene had saved his life and he wanted to thank him for it.“ I will tell you later what I have gathered happened. I do not know how much Luz told you. It will affect what we are building and it is a lot to tell you” Tab said He nodded he knew how Tab acted after the shooting from Luz who had stayed with Tab after it and through the end of the war. Luz became the only one in the company who knew his true feelings for Tab. Luz encouraged him to keep in contact with him even after he had spilled his guts about his anxiety over their feelings. But he knew there were some parts Luz had not told him which meant they must be hard to tell. There was no rush to reveal things not ready to be revealed. For now, in this moment he wanted to enjoy the man in front of him. His joy obvious as they moved into safer conversation topics. Tab ordered dessert for the pair, apparently having a seemingly endless appetite. He insisted they needed shakes Grant reluctantly agreed to it. This man and his sweet tooth would be the death of him. They had not even gotten their meals and Tab already wanted dessert. Nothing it seems had changed with that aspect of Tab. The food came with a few extra sides, the owner always adding them whenever he came in. He noticed the mountain of food in front of the man beside him and did not seem surprised by it. After Bastogne, the men ate anything they could get their hands on. Grant seemed to have the one exception to this with his eating habits worse than before. To no surprise on his part Tab had noticed it and shoved the extra sides towards his side of the table. Tab, much like Lipton, had a need to take of everyone and give others his extra food. He made sure to eat just so Tab would not be giving him the look of disappointment. He went for the extra salty fries. The pair ate in companionable silence and Grant only broke it to inquire what Tab wanted to do next. “ Do you want to do anything after the grocery store. I could do with a nap and a book but I could show you more places if you want.” Tab smiled and shook his head, “ Honestly napping and reading sounds like a swell idea. I have eaten so much and could go for a nap. And maybe reading a new book.” As always there thinking was in sync. From the beginning, they had meshed well and thought along the same lines. Tab had been his first friend and person he met in the company. Their similar mindset and tastes linked them together in a bond which would remain no matter the outcome of Tab’s visit. They enjoyed dessert and then headed out into the sunny town the fog has dissipated. The store was a short walk from the diner and Grant went in with a list that he split with Tab after he insisted on paying for half of the groceries. He knew to keep an eye on Tab with the sweets aisle as that’s usually a first stop in any store for him. He did not go towards the sweets aisle as Grant had thought but towards the produce that had him shaking his head. The grocery shopping ended with a stop in the baking aisle. He needed the ingredients for the bread he wanted to make tonight. The dinner he had planned consisted of steak, rolls and a simple cobbler. Tab was spotted in the sweets aisle as he thought he would wander into earlier. He herded Tab to the front before a serious dent could be put in the sweets. Tab laughed at his insistence to get out of the candy aisle. It felt like the old times most of their times spent together, realizing each other’s habits and mannerisms which had begun again the war altering them. The rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing and winding down from the eventful day. Grant and Tab sat shoulder to shoulder reading one of the books picked out. Tab unconsciously rest his head on his shoulder as he fell asleep. Grant’s breath hitched they had not been in a position like this Tab had fallen asleep on him during a night spent on a balcony in Austria. He adjusted Tab to make him more comfortable which had the man settle even more into his shoulder. Tab subconsciously reach out and wrapped his arm around Grant. It set off a panic inside him. He had no clue what to do about this suddenly clingy sleeping man next to him. He ended up with Tab all but in his lap during the nap. The comforting feeling of warmth lulled him to sleep.Grant woke up to fingers going through his hair and a just woken up Tab looking down at him. He had a sleepy smile on his face and was relaxed. They were still intertwined from their nap. Like always they had drifted together finding warmth and comfort from a familiar presence. He ran his hand up and down Tab’s back in comfort after he had tensed up.“ I swear I have never taken so many naps before the war. Now all I do is nap and sleep little like during the war.” Tab told him as he nuzzled Grant.This felt strangely more intimate than they had ever been before. This relationship kept evolving at a pace that he could not keep up with. That thought was one for later with how shaken Tab looked he must have had a silent nightmare from the way he acted.“ Floyd look at me what happened and do you need anything.” Grant titled Tab’s chin up so he could see his brown eyes wide.“I think you already know but I did have a nightmare. They have been seeping into my dream when I nap. It started a few months ago after I hurt myself at work” Tab told him as he broke eye contact.“ I do not have those but if you think it would help to talk to me please do not shut me out. If we are going to forge an actual relationship we cannot keep hiding and turning away from each other.” Grant told him wanting to make sure Tab knew he was there for him. Especially since they had broached the topic of making a go at a real relationship like they had planned during the war.He helped him up and let him lean on him as they made their way to the kitchen. Tab sat down at his insistence as he made coffee and rummaged for the cookie stash he had. This day went from the best day he had in a long time to being worried as hell about the man who he cared for deeply. These two days had rocked him to the core and now he knew the man who had shown up on his doorstep late needed his help and had come back into his life to start what had been halted so long ago.“Tab rest while I make dinner. I know I need to rest too based on the look you keep sending my way but we both need food. Then I will rest and so will you. I want to rest tomorrow too we both need it.” Grant told him as he set the coffee and cookies in front of him.He shuffled back to the kitchen to start dinner and get some coffee for himself. There was not much to get together for dinner but he wanted it done so he could the both of them off to bed. Tonight would be a long one with the nightmares coming to the front of their minds. The bread he had started before the reading he had done. All that was left to do involved sticking it all in the oven. The dessert was made and the main course save till last. A timer set and then back to check on the man going through the plate of cookies.Grant got the last cookie and set his coffee down to look at how Tab was faring. Caffeine and sugar had perked him up. “How are you feeling. A little better than before I hope.” Grant asked him.Tab looked up from his cookies and he looked a little better, “ I am doing better and I cannot wait for dinner. You know I forgot you were a good cook since all I ever had from you were rations.”
Grant laughed aloud at the comment, “I do not think anyone could get rations to taste good. All I can think of is how bad Malarkey’s cooking was and the surprising fact no one got really sick from it.”Tab almost choked on his coffee and his shoulders shook at Grant’s assessment of Malarkey’s cooking. The man’s cooking which became a legend after everyone became aware of how bad it was. Grant had it once and never went back for more.It felt good to remember the more light-hearted moments and well-known stories. Right in the middle of reminiscing the timer went off to start the main course. The other pieces of the meal came out of the oven. The steak was done and the food plated.
The meal was eaten mostly in silence only broken by a question from Tab. “ I am going to cook for you. Not sure what for the meal but I want to.”Grant looked at him with an eyebrow raised in question. He could not remember at all if he could cook. But he could not wait to see the results from it.“ Of course you can I didn't even know you could cook and keep it a surprise.” Grant told him.“ My brother taught me to cook when I got home after I almost set the kitchen on fire.” Tab said.“Well please be careful with my kitchen I do not think we need a fire in it.” Grant remarked dryly.The pair cleaned the dishes and went their separate ways to get ready for the night. Both were too tired to be awake much longer. A bone-deep weariness settled over him and his already warring body fought him even more. His left side was even more fickle with the exhaustion and he could only half-ass his usual tasks.As he walked down the narrow hallway Tab came out of the other bathroom. Grant reached out and squeezed his shoulder, letting him know he was there if he needed the support.
The night saw him covered in sweat and waking up from a nightmare of Tab not making it through the war. For the first time he remembered his nightmares and it rattled him to the core. He settled down again into a restless sleep when a scream shattered the stillness of the night.Christ, he swore as he stumbled disoriented to the guest room. Tab looked to be in between sleep and waking. He shook Tab’s shoulder trying to wake him being mindful of any reflexive actions. Tab clutched onto his shoulder shaking with pent-up emotions barely awake. Grant maneuvered him to where he was draped across him.“Tab are you with me. Answer me please.” Grant pleaded with him as he let Tab cling to him.Floyd clearly disoriented looked at him, “ I am here and am so sorry I woke you. God, I do not think a nightmare has ever been this bad.”Grant titled Floyd’s chin up and brushed the sweat-dampened hair off his face, “Never apologize for having nightmares I have them too. Just let me help you when you have them.”“Can you stay with me for the night? If that is not okay I understand.” Tab asked him desperation in his eyes.He nodded and adjusted the pair so they were comfy. The consequences of tonight he would worry about later. Tab needed him right now and whatever repercussions from it they would deal with them. He fell asleep with a warm body against him.The next morning had him disoriented up until he remembered where he was. Tab’s side of the bed was cold and empty. He got up and padded down the hallway to the kitchen. There was a sleepy Floyd at the table with coffee and cold cereal in bowls with milk.The reset of their relationship would happen eventually but now he looked at the man in front of him. He seemed shaken up and pale with dark circles under his eyes. Grant squeezed his shoulder then sat across from him.
Today would be a hard one especially with the repercussions of last night. And the bone-deep weariness with the pair due to last night. In time they would be okay. He knew he had to address what happened last night but for now, he would enjoy the temporary stillness in the house.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Last night had hurt him both in both body and mind. He knew he needed to rest and by the look of it, Tab could barely stay awake. Grant grabbed both of the coffee cups off the table to get them both more than rummaged through the upper cabinet for the cookie stash he had. It appeared he was down to his last few cookies. Tab had gone through them really quickly.He put them on napkins not in the mood to do any more dishes. Tab barely registered the sweets which immediately worried Grant since Tab was not one to resist chocolate. Grant wanted to broach the topic of the night before but he had a feeling the man across from him would not take the questions well. It felt like he was walking through a minefield of questions.It felt like the careful peace in their relationship was teetering on falling apart. Nothing from last night he would have done differently. Tab needed him and he vowed to be there as long as he was wanted. Grant reached across the table and grasped Tab's hand squeezing it letting him know in a silent way.Tab intertwined his fingers with his and squeezed his hand. He had a tentative smile on his face and looked weary. The tension in the room dissipated a bit between them and they relaxed. He rubbed his thumb over the top of Tab’s hand relishing the feel of skin on skin contact.Unexpectedly Tab broke the silence, " I do not know what I ever did to deserve you. God, I am sorry I made everything awkward last night. Your presence has always been comforting and I needed to feel it again. I want a relationship with you when we are both ready I knew it the moment I decided to visit. What I asked for I feel messed up the steps made in a positive direction."What he had been avoiding coming to the forefront and he carefully chose his words. The meaning needed clarity and to convey a multitude of emotions. " Tab does not apologize I knew you needed me there and yes it is a bit awkward. But I do not want it to be that way between us now and I know it will be a slow road to an actual relationship. We both want the same thing and we will get there together. I am here for you and I do not want you to ever feel alone."Tab squeezed his hand and intertwined their fingers clearly overcome with emotion. He seemed speechless at Grant's words. His voice broke and he hated the way Tab looked. " There is so much I want to say but I cannot express enough how much it means to know we want the same thing. And no matter what you always have me." Tab told him.The tension in the room tempered down as the words poured out of them. It was a step in lessening the unsaid things between them and letting the pair have a bit of normalcy. It seemed their communication issues from the latter end of the war had carried over to present day. They needed to work on the communication skills which seemed to get worse.Tab insisted on doing the dishes while Grant rattled around the fridge to find the dough for the bread he had begun. The pair of them painted a picture of domesticity he never imagined they would have. After Grant wandered into the front room turning on the radio to the news. The domestic nature of the morning reset the relationship to something more gentle.The quiet nature of the morning soothed him and the talk he had dreaded turned out being fine. Tab had not regretted what happened last night and he did not either. No one who went through the war should be ashamed at having nightmares. Most of his revolved around Bastogne and the few hazy memories he had of the moments before the gun went off as he confronted the deranged private.Grant shook off the thoughts of the images that plagued his sleep and went to get the bread made for dinner. Tab had finished the dishes and went to put some cookie dough in the oven Grant had found in the fridge for the next batch. He had made it to freeze for later but Tab and his sweet tooth made an unexpected appearance in his life. Sweets felt like a good idea right now and Tab probably would have raided the fridge later then figured out the oven.They both were still in their pajamas not bothering to get ready for the day where they would just lounge around. Grant felt tired and weighed down not ready or willing to go out the house. Tab did not look much better in the tired department and he looked like he could use another nap.He led Tab down the hall and he went to take a nap while Grant watched the cookies. He also figured he would get a phone call from one of the guys. A few of them always called twice a month. Or in the case of Malarkey and Liebgott weekly. Those two were closest to him both in friendship and distance. Tab was a different story he was the person Grant was closest to and his soulmate. Right as the cookies were out of the oven on a cooling rack the phone rang in the hallway. He hurried to pick it up as not to wake Tab up and heard a familiar voice over the line." Hey, Chuck is that you?" a voice he recognized as Liebgott asked."It is me, Joe. How are you doing?" Chuck asked leaning against the wall." I am doing well and just wanted to call to say I am still coming over for lunch on Saturday. How are you doing I know the last week was a lot to deal with." Liebgott asked him." I look forward to seeing you then. So far I am doing well," he decided to drop the bomb about Tab, " And Floyd is staying with me for the time being he showed up a few days ago." He thought the man on the other end of the phone had hung up at the news but when he spoke his voice was full of emotions, " Grant, you are not kidding me, are you? God, I never thought anyone would see him again. Does he want to see me at all or have you mentioned me to him?" Liebgott asked him.Grant knew the news of Tab being here would affect Liebgott the pair was close during the war. " Joe, I mentioned you were here to him and he wants to see you. How could he not you two were close. I know you both have your reasons for not talking to each other but he wants to see you."A loud sigh came over the speaker signaling his friend was having a hard time processing things. Liebgott had always wanted Grant to find Tab and he was the first one to know the true extent of their relationship. "I cannot say much other then I am cannot wait to see him and I am happy he is with you. It is good you two are together again and please work your relationship out. This is a second chance for both of you and do not waste it. I need to go, my roommate, is yelling at me to get off the phone. I will see you soon."Grant knew that Liebgott would probably drop by a little earlier than planned based on past phone calls. He knew he had to prepare for an emotional minefield coming in the next few days. Liebgott and Tab were both good friends who needed to work shit out. They went separate ways after the war and did not even bother to exchange contact information.He grabbed a book and sunglasses heading out to the front porch to have some quiet time. He left a not on the table nearest to the door to let his guest know where he was. The sky had a few clouds floating and the temperature was perfect for porch reading. He lost track of time just relaxing.The screen door creaked open and a rumpled Tab walked out holding mugs of coffee. He had a book tucked under his arm and was barefoot. Apparently, the phone call did not wake him up. That had him sighing in relief but he needed to explain the phone call to Tab. He could not let it go untouched since Liebgott would show up randomly.A light touch on Tab's arm got his attention and he saw Tab's face clouded with confusion. Tab and he rarely used silent communication or touches unless it became important. Liebgott dropping by randomly counted as an important matter and he really just wanted to talk to Tab. " Floyd you need to sit down for the news I am about to drop on you. While you were asleep Liebgott called and I told him you were here. Which means he might drop by before Saturday. He seemed very emotional when I told him you were here. I do not know what happened between the two of you but you need to work it out." Grant said to him as he watched a variety of emotions go across Tab's face."He really wants to see me. God, I cannot wait for that reunion I do miss him a lot and I should have left my contact information for him. I regret how things went between us. I was so distraught about you and did not even get his contact information." Tab told him.Grant squeezed Floyd's shoulder to get his attention. " That is the past and now both of you can start a friendship up again if that is what you want. I know you two very well and it is plain to see you both miss each other's company."Tab fidgeted in the rocking chair he was on and tucked a leg under. It was not obvious to anyone but he could tell from his body language he was thinking about what he had learned. He had a lot of new things thrown at him. Especially with Liebgott being willing to talk to him. And of course the elephant in the room, their relationship."When he comes by we will talk then. I need to fix how I handled the end of the war I should not have all but disappeared off the face of the earth." Tab told himGrant at that moment wanted to shake some sense into him. Floyd kept blaming himself for things he could not control and it hurt to see him so hard on himself. He wanted to wrap him in a hug but they were in public. So he settled with a gentle hand on his wrist to get his attention."Floyd, you need to stop blaming yourself for everything. No one blames you for cutting off contact. Everyone dealt with the war and its effects differently. I did not handle the injury well at first but I have come to terms mostly with how I have to live now. It was not easy to wake up and see your world upended. And healing has no set time we all have different paces." Grant said trying to reassure the uneasy man next to him." Chuck, when did you become the voice of reason? You always had the answer for a lot of problems but now you seem to know exactly what I need to hear." Tab asked him.He laughed at what Tab had said. " It is more of knowing you really well and reading your tells. I know you swear you are hard to read but I can read you really well. And I have been through a lot especially with guilt so while I do not know exactly how you are feeling but I can guess.""Can I ask you about your recovery I know we were sparse with the letters until I visited you. I know from Luz you ended up with Guarnere and Toye. Those poor nurses with the three of you in one hospital. I also know you had a few setbacks on the way to America when they flew you over. I will not ask about the moments that could affect us I do not think we are really even close to talking about those." Tab asked him curiosity evident on his face." You know about the Austrian hospital since you never left my side. I never thought I would be on a plane I did not jump out of. The plane that carried me was full of the more seriously injured. They were worried about the plane but the doctors decided a ship back would be worse. I needed to be in a hospital as soon as possible stateside. And by some really good luck, I ended up with Guarnere and Toye. I had a lot of physical therapy at the time I got there and I could not speak for a while. So I had to write stuff out and that is when the realized I was numb on my left side." Grant gave him the short version later he would tell him the full story." God, I figured it was bad based on what I saw when you were in Austria. I wish I could have been there for you. It felt weird and empty without you there. The whole company felt off and I know you were missed." Tab told him."I missed you too and I wish you could have been there with me. Having Toye and Guarnere with me helped out a lot. They helped me get up and around since I had to keep up with them. That was a hard thing to do the pair of them were always up to something. I am still happy you came to the hospital after the war ended." Grant told him as he squeezed his shoulder.Every day it seemed to reveal a new part of their feelings and experiences together. They laid bare their souls in the letters and now in person. They were working out what they needed to do for a healthy relationship. That was the only relationship he ever wanted for the pair.After all the talking they settled into the chairs with their respective books. The patio was calming to Grant and became his sanctuary when he found the house. Most of his spare time was spent out here. Tab he hoped felt the same about it. They needed peace and not to have so many feelings laid out causing so much turmoil.The book must have been dry since he fell asleep curled up in the rocker. Tab woke him up after what seemed like a long nap with lunch. Thankfully he did not try to cook and just made sandwiches. Grant did not think he had the energy to deal with a kitchen fire since Tab could not cook well.Tab settled back down in his chair and looked a little less high strung. The more active he was the better off he was. He always hated sitting still during anything and briefing with him were always filled with Grant getting him to settle down. He wished he had brought his camera out so he could capture this moment and how peaceful Tab looked.There few pictures of the two and he wanted to remedy that. He knew he had to be careful about what he took. But he knew he needed pictures to capture the moments he never thought he would have but did. He wanted to capture this moment of Tab relaxed head tilted up as he took in the California sunshine looking much like the carefree and relaxed man he had been before the war.Being shot in the head and given a message of he might not survive changed how he looked at life. He had been given an unexpected second chance with Tab and nothing matter more than seeing where it went. Seeing Tab content and full of mischief as he made weird faces at him had him almost in tears. This is what he had always imagined his life to look after all the fighting was finished, having Tab by his side and starting a life with the man.Grant made a weird face back which caused Floyd to almost choke on the bit of food he had. Tab flung a chip at him after he had gotten himself together looking put out. He laughed and threw the chip back. He had always brought out the more carefree side in him. They smiled at each other content in being side by side. " I missed hearing you laugh and seeing that smile when you think I said something funny. That part of you I hoped you had not lost and I see you still have it." Tab said to him. Grant said, " You bring it to the front. I cannot help but be happy around you and your mischievous side. It brings out my less serious side." " I wish I had figured that out sooner. You got so serious during the war and needed something to lighten the mood." Tab told him Grant turned to look at him. " Was I really that bad at times? I know I was a stickler for rules and such." Tab pinned him with a look which he interpreted as you know exactly what you are talking about. He shook his head at that expression, Tab knew how to read him so well. It went both ways they knew how to read each other’s tells. "Well, I can try to take everything less seriously. That would help I know especially since my doctor says I am very tense at times which does not help my lack of feeling in my left arm." Grant said. "I have been meaning to ask about your arm. When we were in Austria you had the same issue and with your side as well. Has it changed any because I remember you having a bit of feeling?" Tab asked him. "I have no feeling in my arm now I had some setbacks. The side is still numb and occasionally I can feel something. The physical therapy I have been doing is helping me with the arm since I have to learn how to reuse it." Grant said "I knew you had setbacks and I figured it would happen. But that is a major one and do you need me to take you to physical therapy?" Tab asked clearly worried about him. "Tab does not worry so much I am on the mend. I know it is natural for you to worry about me. And yes I do on Mondays I had a friend who cannot take me around anymore. I usually go Monday through Wednesday." Grant supplied trying to reassure him. Tab naturally was a mama hen and it came out a lot around him. Before the mood became somber again he ushered Tab in with the dirty dishes. They kept brushing on topics neither were really ready to hear about yet. This morning proved they needed to make small steps towards the bigger topics.Not jump straight into topics which opened healing wounds. There were topics like the war which could send them both into a downward spiral.4 He hated not being straightforward with Floyd but there were unseen obstacles they needed to worry about. Tab reached out and brushed his fingers against the top of Grant's left hand. He felt the gentle touch which caused him to shudder. The light touch became the first touch his body had registered in a long while. Leave it to Tab to elicit a response from his body. Tab's eyes softened then in a bold move set the plates down and twined their fingers together bringing them up to kiss his hand. Grant froze for a moment wondering what had gotten into him. He gave off mixed signals about what he wanted. But Grant felt okay with this and he did not need to put a stop to what was unfolding. Grant smiled at him relaxing his posture. Tab just wanted to show his affection and his involved a lot of intimacy. He set down the things he was holding and titled Tab's chin down to plant a kiss on his cheek. There was no way he was ready to actually initiate a kiss.Tab leaned into the kiss and he saw Tab had a turned a nice shade of pink. He had always blushed when excited or got emotional. Grant knew this was an emotional moment for the pair.He received another kiss on the hand then they went to get the dishes done. His world yet again had been turned upside down. Tab sent shy glances his way as they did the dishes and Grant could not help but blush. Those glances reminded him of the ones thrown his way when they were not around anyone during the war.Sherman watched the pair half awake from her seat on one of the chairs in the kitchen oblivious to the emotional minefield they pair were walking into. He loved the intimacy between the two but he needed to reiterate this was as far it goes before a relationship. The last thing he wished was for things to go farther than holding each other while the other battled a nightmare or comforting each other after a nightmare rocked them.Tab danced along to the Glenn Miller song on the radio and he kept looking better as the day went on. Glenn Miller songs had been a staple during the war and he associated it with one late night alone in the barracks when Tab had taught him how to dance.The moment would forever be ingrained in his memory the night had held a revelation of his love for Tab. The moment held the first shift from friendship to a budding love. Grant had enjoyed the quiet night alone and caught up on letters from home. When Tab walked into barracks in his dress uniform looking like he had the time of his life on the town. He saw Grant and walked over to him sitting on the bunk bumping shoulders.He grabbed Grant's hand tugging him up asking him to dance. They could hear the faint big band music floating in from the open door."Floyd you have seen me dance I am just going to step on your feet." Grant protested." I'll teach you then you just need a little help," Tab said.They put their arms around other and he let Tab lead him across the open space in a fast-paced swing dance. He laughed as Tab glared at him for stepping on his toes one too many times. He got the hang of dancing after a few songs and they slowed down during one of the slow songs. They moved closer to each and changed paces. Tab moved one hand from his shoulder and grasped his hand. Grant intertwined their fingers and let Tab keep leading them.Tab had moved his hand to his hip and he felt the touch through his uniform. Grant's hand shook as he moved it to Tab's hip. They were pressed together holding onto each other as the song faded into another slow song. Grant was aware of the feeling of Tab's body against his and he felt the love for this man come to the forefront. He had been denying it for so long but now dancing with him he could not deny them.After a while, the music faded away and they sat leaning against each other. Big smiles on their faces as they stole glances at each other. He should have felt nervous about his feelings but he felt Tab had the same feelings for him.Tab's voice brought him back to the present, " You were thinking about the night in Aldbourne?"" I was, Glenn Miller always brings it to the forefront. I cannot remember if I told you that was the night I realized I was in love with you. I knew from the first time we had talked but dancing with you brought those feelings to the front." Grant spoke.Grant looked down at the floor not wanting to meet Tab's eyes. He heard a sharp intake of breath from Tab. It meant he had not mentioned that crucial fact. To him, it was a crucial part of the relationship turning into more than friendship."I never knew that it was the same for me. God, I wish I had known that earlier. Our dancing was an impulsive decision for me but one I am happy I decided to. It helped me solidify my feelings." Tab told himThe admission knocked Grant's world off kilter. He had a suspicion Tab had felt that way but now he knew. They had loved each other from the beginning and now he just wanted to rebuild on the love they had.A lot of feelings had to be repressed during the war. Getting attached to anyone during the war was risky with death always waiting on the sidelines to take away lives. So broaching the topics of feelings and love were not ones Grant ever wanted to touch during the war.Those feelings led him to envelop Tab in a hug trying to protect him from all the feelings coming to the front. He felt him shaking and him clutching the back of his shirt. Grant pressed a kiss to his forehead in comfort.Tab settled into the hug and his arms went around Grant. This was not a sad moment it became one of healing. They were letting each other know what they had held back for a long time without saying much. Tab nuzzled his nose into the crook of Grant's neck causing Grant to card his fingers through his hair Grant hated the war for what he had to deny and how it brought him and Tab together than almost ripped them apart. But there was some quiet and important moment he treasured. Like the many moments in Aldbourne and on leave. Tab fell asleep in his arms and curled into his chest. He had always marveled at Tab's ability to sleep standing up. Grant nudged him awake and led him towards the couch. He just wanted to curl up with him and protect him. He knew full well what Tab was capable of but he also was one of the few who saw the softer side of the man. Tab could protect himself and his heart but he still did not want to see him hurt. He grabbed an old afghan blanket and wrapped it around the both of them. The feeling of Tab's body against his soothed his soul. There were a few emotions running through him as he held Tab. Yet again the were touching on topics holding so much weight. Sleep did not come to him as he held onto him. Grant felt Tab settle into him and he pulled him closer. He managed to get his right arm free and grabbed a book. There could not be a way for him to sleep this moment was so important. He hoped his presence would help Tab get through his nightmare or not have them at all. Tab had told him his presence helped ease his tired mind and its racing thoughts. So he settled into the blanket around the pair. He felt the warmth radiating from him and it felt so calming. Tab's presence always calmed him down and in the aftermath of him being shot Tab had soothed him until his war was over. Now he hoped to silently provide the same for Tab and repay some of the debt he would forever spend repaying. They spent what seemed like hours cuddled up like that Grant watching over him. Tab woke up and rolled around to face him hazel eyes sleep clouded. He placed his book to the side and waited to see what he wanted. It seemed Tab was just content to lay there and gaze at him. Something he did not mind gazing back memorizing this moment and the way he looked. He knew Tab was doing the same to him. They spent the rest of the day laying around and enjoying being near each other. They went and ordered food since neither wanted to cook. The night found them together again in the guest bedroom holding each other through the night terrors. Tab gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and snuggled into his chest. Grant had never guessed Floyd was a cuddler. No complaint from him at all but not what he had ever expected. The morning saw another unexpected visitor appear at his doorstep. A knock sounded on the door as he cleaned the kitchen up. He picked up a startled Sherman and to see who was wanting to come over this early in the morning. He opened the door to a nervous Liebgott wearing his old field jacket. It seemed the phone call had spurred Liebgott to come visit a day earlier. He did not mind and let him come in. Liebgott went for Sherman who recognized her rescuer. Grant handed her over and Liebgott had a large smile on his face. Sherman gave him nose kisses and burrowed herself in his jacket. "How are you doing Lieb?" Grant asked him as they went to the kitchen. " Tired I did not get any sleep and so many war memories have come up again," LIebgott told him. Memories were coming to the forefront for all of them. Grant knew some unpleasant ones will come to the front and he knew the ones from when he was shot might come to the front. Liebgott never talked about the war until one night with both of them drinking did he spill about what had happened after him being shot. For him, he just tried not to let the war seep into his dreams and tried to talk about it. Each man dealt with the war and what they witnessed and did differently. There was no one way to talk and deal with the war memories. "The memories have been getting me and Tab too. It seems to be the time of year they always get me the closer we get to December." Grant said. The war had ended over two years ago but still bled into their lives with the memories and triggers. Fall and winter were the hardest for everyone in the company. He squeezed Liebgott's shoulder and let Sherman sniff him. He heard Tab come into the room and stop. Liebgott froze next to and stared at Tab with a look of shock. It had not sunk in for him until now Tab really was here and they could start their friendship again. Tab stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. Sherman jumped down and just watched another reunion happening. Tab wrapped his arms around the other man and smiled at him. Grant could see this could be an emotional moment for his lover. Tab and Liebgott were close during the war and had not spoken since they had come home. Both dealing with the war in their own ways. Now seemed to be the time for them to talk again. He went out of the kitchen not wanting to disturb them and let them talk everything out. Not everything would be resolved right away but it started the process of it. Sherman followed him apparently not wanting to get involved too. Grant just ended up cleaning the living room letting them talk it out. Interrupting such an important meeting would not end well he just wanted to let them talk everything. Grant tampered the thoughts of going in there and giving both a hug. The last thing they needed was him interfering. After what seemed like an hour they emerged ribbing each other like old times. It put a smile on his face knowing they had started on the road to friendship again. "I was talking with Floyd and he agreed we should all go out. We will go to the restaurant I promised to take you to Chuck. That is if you are up to it you do not look so good." Liebgott asked him. Tab looked at him and he could see the concern for him as well. He must look worse than he had thought. Grant had gotten used to not feeling his best it was just normal with his injury. "I will come along someone has to watch out for the pair of you." Chuck teased them. Both laughed at that while Tab was in a different platoon Chuck still ended up looking after him at times. Tab did the same for him it was their way of letting each other know they had each other's backs. Liebgott persuaded them to let him drive which turned out to not be a good idea. They barely got there in one piece. Tab looked green and Grant swore to never let this happen again. help Tab out of the cab since he looked like he could fall over. There was a smirk on Liebgott's face as he saw Tab. Grant sighed those two were up to their old shenanigans. He walked behind the pair letting them chat and rib each other. The sight of the two most important people in his life reconnecting was enough to keep him company. They were headed into a restaurant Liebgott had told them they needed to try. Between the two of them, Tab would see the whole bay area by the time he decided what to do about his living situation. Maybe in the future, he would get to see Tab's hometown and get a better understanding of him. He had never been there before and Tab had promised to show him around if he ever visited. Tab gently brushed his fingers over his wrist letting Grant know he was shaking. It happened a lot when he became nervous. He had a whole host of emotions from the morning he still needs to resolve. These past few days had brought so many emotions to the front of his mind. He did not bottle them up but let his brain process them. Tab and Liebgott were here with him and he wanted to soak up all the moments with them. Like the fact Liebgott was giving Tab all sorts fo hell about his outfit. "Floyd, when did you start to dress so fancy and proper?" Liebgott ribbed him Tab gave him a look of fond disgruntledness used to Liebgott's barbs. " Liebgott I see your fashion sense has gotten worse since the last time I saw you." Grant burst out laughing at the fact the only insults they could get out were how they dressed. He ushered them into the restaurant and hoped they settled down to get to the meal. It was before the lunch crowd hit so they got a nice table with a bay view. Tab claimed the chair nearest to the window so he could see the view. In their late-night conversations when the nightmares kept them awake Tab had talked so much about seeing the ocean and what they planned to do once they got better enough to go out. This view would not help the excitement for the ocean and Grant could not blame him, the ocean calmed him. He did not go enough since he had gotten back since he had thrown himself into work. The waitress came and took the drink orders. The trio was quiet as they waited for the drinks. It did not hold much tension just lots of excitement at the unexpected reunion. He saw Tab had a mischievous smile which Grant could tell was going to cause something with Liebgott. " I did not know you were a cat person Lieb. Grant told me how you gave him Sherman and you always drop by to visit her." Tab inquired. " Yes Floyd I do like cats and I would have kept her if I had the room. I knew Grant needed a companion and Sherman is a good cat. She is a little terror at times but a good companion just the same." Liebgott explained. "Well, I guess I learned something new about you. I thought you to be more a dog person. Sherman is a cute cat but such a terror." Tab said. He had some run-ins with the small kitten the first night he came here. " I am guessing she did not take to you right away. She was like that with me when I found her. She took to Chuck right away so she is definitely his cat." Liebgott said. "She went to me right away and I knew I had to keep her even though I had not planned to get a cat. Tab she will warm up to you she just does not like change too much." Grant told him. "I'll take your word for that. Are you still driving a cab?" Tab said " I am and when this man is working I'll take you around," Liebgott said "I need to keep bail money around for that" Grant remarked dryly. Both of them glared at him while trying not to laugh. Grant had many times made sure they had got home after a bar crawl when they were on weekend passes. Those two attracted too much trouble and he was along for the ride most instances. "Grant I remember you being there and getting as rowdy as we were multiple times so you can't say as much trouble as we are" Liebgott reminded him. Tab joined in on the teasing as always. The teasing had always been how he was around friends. It showed fondness and ease. Grant had known him long enough to figure that out. Combined with Smokey or Liebgott Tab could be pranking someone or trading barbs. He knew Tab and Liebgott were all good since they had been trading snarky remarks most of the time spent waiting for the food. Grant did not have much of a sense of humor anymore or he would be joining in on the teasing. The food came and the teasing stopped so they could eat the food. He had never been here before but decided to come back just to see Tab's excitement at the bay view. He had to bring up the topic of walking on the seawall after he knew his love would be so excited to do that. He did not want them to spend the precious time they had cooped up in the house. " Tab would you want to walk along the seawall after. It is a short walk from here and it is nice on days like this." Grant asked as they finished the food. Floyd looked at him with excitement in his eyes." I would love too and I was about to suggest going somewhere. We have been in the house a lot lately and I need to get out. The seawall sounds like a swell idea." Liebgott agreed to come along and had brought his camera with him. He was one of the very few who knew the real nature of the pair's relationship. Grant sent him a look of keeping it quiet. He still wanted a picture of him and Tab since there were only two pictures of the pair. Both taken before the war and it tugged at his heart to see how young and innocent they were. The war had not taken its toll on them just yet. The one taken in Aldbourne came two days after the fateful dance in the empty bunk room and they were smiling both in their dress uniform. The other taken at Camp Toccoa early on in their relationship. Now he would have one of them now post-war and so much different than they were before. Enough of their old selves remained to start a relationship again. Tab looked so much the carefree young man again as he walked along the seawall. Liebgott and Grant walked behind him talking quietly about what had happened since they had last seen each other. Grant asked him to take a picture of the pair in front of the ocean. Tab agreed and they posed like old friends reuniting again. They got a random stranger to get a picture of the three of them. Not many pictures were around of the three of them so this was a good opportunity. Grant still felt like this could be a dream being with the two of them. Just like old times on leave having fun and spending time together. "I cannot believe how peaceful it is out here I can see why you both always talked about going how to the bay area. I could stay out here for hours and just watch the waves." Tab told them as the sat on the wall watching the waves. The three of them had lit cigarettes and were smoking them watching the ocean. He knew the two of them were calm and not so tense. Grant felt the same this day had turned out so well. He had not expected this but it became a day he would look back on with fond memories. Tab's hair had become windswept and he had aviators on. His smile was big as scooted closer to Grant. Liebgott sat a little away from them contemplating something unknown to the pair. His hands shook as he tried to roll up his sleeves since it had gotten hot. Floyd reached with a questioning look on his face. Grant nodded and let Tab help him with the buttons. He should have taken a page from Tab's fashion book and worn a short sleeve shirt. Liebgott was using his field jacket as a pillow to take a nap on the wall. The three were the picture of relaxed. The seawall was empty after a while and they relaxed even more. Liebgott had gotten two more candids of them as they sat and enjoyed the company. Grant gave him another look to not be so brazen with pictures. Midday had gotten hot so they up and went to a soda shop to get some floats. They were loathed to drive with Liebgott again but it was a preferable option to walking around. Apparently, everyone else had the same idea and there was a line. They got the floats and sat at the end of the bar. Grant sat there never feeling happier. Things were falling into place and it felt like he had some control over what happened. Lieb and Tab were shit talking again while he just looked on in fondness. Never had he imagined they both would be with each other again and Liebgott would still be in touch. It felt like old times between the three of them the war fading into the background of their lives.
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They spent the rest of the afternoon with Liebgott enjoying the balmy weather. It was the perfect day for a reunion. The last few days had been a whirlwind of emotions but now he was content to enjoy this wonderful day. His spirits were lifted being with them being here for the first time in awhile he felt like his old self again. The carefree man he had been before the bullet and the war had gotten to him. He sat watching Tab and LIebgott talking loudly about an issue they both disagreed with. Typical of them he had sat next to them so many times and heard many arguments like this. It was their form of fighting with each other. He had heard so many verbal sparring matches between them and had never gotten used to how into it they got. Tab gently nudged his shoulder bringing him back to the present. He was always introspective when he let his mind wander. The present came with lots of hurdles and things unsaid. There was still so much to understand and to learn. With Tab by his side, he could have some healing and maybe an easier path to the future. It would never be easy with the war as part of the fabric of their relationship. Grant made sure to invite Liebgott over to dinner. He wanted to include Liebgott in his plans as much as he could. Tab and Liebgott were always going to be huge figures in his life so he would always include them whenever he could. Liebgott seemed so happy and lighter mood wise. At the same time, he wanted a few moments alone with Tab just to talk. Now that they had begun to pave the road to a relationship he felt it had become easier to just talk about his feelings. There was just so much he wanted to talk about to him and he loved how comforted he felt around Tab. Their relationship was like that during the war too and what led to Grant kissing him. Liebgott knew about their relationship after a late night talk where Grant bared his heart. Luz was the only other person that knew about them. That had happened when he was in the hospital and Luz asked about the state of his relationship. Gant knew Luz had picked up on the real nature of their relationship when he took care of Tab after he was shot. He would not tell anyone else it was just too risky. The trio walked back to the car taking in the ocean and sea wall. It had been a spontaneous day full of so many good memories. This would stay in his mind forever and the pictures would keep it alive. The car ride back was just as equally scary with Liebgott driving and they made it back in one piece somehow. Sherman greeted them looking put out which and Lieb picked her up giving her a kiss on the head. Grant stifled a laugh at the little cat she had all of them wrapped around her paw. Lieb got her food while Tab cooked with his help. There was no way he was letting either of them cook. Liebgott ended up on cat duty entertaining the terror so she did not get into anything. His life had become so domestic in the past few days he would almost not recognize it. It soothed him and he loved the company so much. A lot of the past few years were spent in isolation not wanting to burden anyone. But he had realized no one thought of him that way and wanted him around. The company of men he had fought with helped him get better through letters, visits and phone calls. The visit he looked forward to so much and it helped to see the men he had been through hell and back with. Compton, Malarkey, Liebgott, and Christenson all lived in California or Oregon so they had a few get-togethers. He could not wait for the reunion later this year finally getting to see and thank those who had sent letters and called him. They were holding it in California so he could go. The doctors had told him any type of out of travel could harm him. Luz and Guarnere had immediately changed the location just for him they all wanted to see how he was faring. Liebgott interrupted his thoughts, “ What has she been up to? Sherman is so hyper compared to usual. Even more a terror than usual.” Grant laughed and had to set down the cooking utensils he was holding, “ She is, even more, a terror. I do not know what is up but she is a cat.” “Well, she has got you and Tab taking care of her. She is in good hands and definitely spoiled.” Liebgott said. “ I am surprised she took to Tab so easily. She is not a fan of strangers or new people so it was good she took to Tab so easy.” Grant said “ Honestly I thought she was going to be terrible to deal with but I love the little cat so much. I am not much of a cat person but she has wormed her way into my heart.” Tab told them. “ She will do that I almost kept her but I did not have the room for a little kitten. Grant needed a companion and she was perfect.” Liebgott said.Little Sherman was a big part of their relationship and he would not have it any other way. She had adopted Tab with no questions and he had taken her to as well. He had seen Tab and the little kitten curled up together a lot in the past two days. Sherman had become a bonding force with the boys.The dinner ended up being cold sandwiches and fries. None of them could decide so it just ended up being a simple dinner. Nothing fancy and Grant pulled out the dessert which was a bit fancier. He had made a cake early this morning remembering Tab had a thing for lemon cake. Not something he had made before but he enjoyed it.He had promised Tab he would help him learn to cook and he needed to fulfill that since he was going back to work. The tab would call him during work about food or prank him. They needed to work out a schedule with him being back at work. Liebgott would for sure visit and keep him company.Tab and Liebgott went to town on the cake and ate half of it by the end of the meal. Grant did not even eat it he felt a little off eating wise and desert did not seem something he could stomach. Liebgott stayed for a little while longer drinking coffee and listening to the radio. Grant invited him back to visit tomorrow since the day, as usual, the day they met up with.“Chuck, can you stay with me tonight I do not think tonight is going to be good?” Tab asked him.Grant could never deny him the comfort of another body comforting him. They shared the bathroom getting ready for the night. Both finally coming down from the high of the earlier part of the day. He followed Tab to the guest bedroom and they both wrapped their arms around each other.“ This was one of the best days of my life. I cannot believe I got to see Liebgott again and get to hang out with the pair of you again. I just made this decision on impulse and now I got to see the pair of you again. It just seems like something out of a dream.” Tab told him.“Floyd I have never been happier for you. I knew you missed LIebgott and I had hoped he would meet with us. I cannot believe it went so well since he is so distant from most of the men. This day was just so good.” Grant told him.“It took us forever to get pictures of us not in uniform but at least we now have them. All I have are the ones from Camp Toccoa and England. Do you have those.” Tab said.“ You have copies of those two I forgot you had those too. We were so young and innocent in those. We have changed so much since those especially those from Toccoa.” Grant told him emotions lacing through his voice.“ I know it was just a few years ago but it feels like a lifetime ago. We look and act so different. I remember the first time we met so well when you ran into me trying to find Easy Company. You were so full of life and I knew we would get along well.” Tab told him.Grant did not even remember their first meeting which broke his heart. There were a lot of big gaps in his memory and the fact he forgot the first time Tab met hurt. “ You know I do not remember our first meeting at all. It must have been some of the memories I lost. I wish I had not forgotten that it was one of the most important meetings in my life.”The confession got Tab’s attention and he had tears in his eyes. He reached over grasping Grant’s hand, “I wish you had not lost those memories they mean so much to the both of us. I could never forget how you looked when you ran into me. You seemed so nervous and you blushed when I helped you. I knew I had to get to know you and it turned into the best decision I made.”Grant could not even form words at the admission and wished he could remember basic training fully. He knew lots of important moments in their relationship happened there and hearing them second hand were not enough. He hated the look on Tab's face and impulsive reach out to press a kiss on the top of Tab’s head. Tab turned into Grant’s shoulder and buried his head there. He could feel Tab's breath on his neck as they just took in the feeling of being this close. They kept blurring the lines with their relationship but this felt right. He had always dreamed of nights like these.He ran his hands through Tab’s thick hair grounding himself. So many emotions were flowing through him. He wished he could remember so much he had lost to the gunshot. Hearing Tab tell them was good but he wished he could remember them himself. Tab settled into his side slowly falling asleep.Right before he fell asleep Tab reached up and pressed feather light kisses to Grant’s face. Expressing his feelings through his kisses not wanting to miss out on the opportunity, He fell asleep shortly after. Grant could not sleep with all the emotions running through him and curled into Tab’s warmth.Grant felt Tab’s arms going around his waist and he pulled him closer. There was no space between the two and he could feel Tab’s breath on the back of his neck. Grant felt content and let the emotions from before flowing out of him. No matter what he was feeling being around his soulmate calmed him. He had not seen the other man this calm during sleep since he got here.The calm air of the night shattered when he felt tears on his shoulder and Tab shaking behind him. He switched places so he could hold the man through his nightmares. There was the thought of waking him up but he knew how Tab got when shaken awake. He got a bit violent and he did not want to have Tab regretting accidentally hitting him. Floyd calmed down a bit and he pressed another kiss to his cheek. As much as he wanted to kiss this man in his arms this was not the time for a reconnection kiss to happen.They settled down to sleep and this time Grant succumbed to war memories that haunted his dreams. Tab shook him awake and then got out of bed for a moment. Grant felt lost without the presence of his love but he was back before he could feel too lost. Tab handed him a glass of water making sure he drank all of it.Grant turned into Tab’s shoulder and let all the feelings out. He sobbed and finally letting out all the feelings he had been holding in. For so long he had tried to be stoic and not let anything from the war affect him. But the war had affected him and there was no shame in letting all the emotions from it out.The rest of the night had them resting and trying to fall back asleep which seemed to be an impossible task. They were both sweaty and had tear stains on their faces. He shrugged off his sleep shirt and Tab did the same. Both felt cooler and easier to fall back asleep. Tab rubbed soothing circles on his side to get him to settle down.Grant resisted the urge to run his hands over Tab’s body now was not the time for romantic feelings. Both were hurting and trying to get over the lingering memories from the nightmares both had.“ Chuck for the love of God please go to sleep. I know you have a thousand thoughts racing through your mind but worry about them in the morning. You need rest and so do I. Your fidgeting is not helping either of us.”“Floyd I will try to calm my mind I am so tired. I am sorry I am keeping you up too.” Chuck told him.He felt Tab’s hands ghost over his body and the faint tingles on his left side as the man tried to calm him. A gasp escaped as he brushed over an old raised scar on his left side. That made him blush and bury his head in a pillow. Floyd’s shoulders shook with laughter at his embarrassment and repeated the motion. As much as he was embarrassed he still let Floyd have his way.After a while, he settled down and let his hands roam over Grant’s shoulders. In return, he put his hand on Tab’s hip and rubbed small circles on it. The soothing touches lured him to sleep and he felt Tab drape an arm over his side and pull him close. Both were tactile people especially with each other.Their breathing synchronized and he fell asleep right after Floyd. They woke up at the same time both blinking the sleep from their eyes. Tab always looked younger when he first woke up. He smiled and brushed the locks away that hid Tab’s hazel eyes and smiled at the expression on his lover’s face. Tab looked so disgruntled at being woke up even though it was past 11 am.He was not a morning person at all so he let him be disgruntled as he worked his way around him to get out of bed. Laying around made him antsy and the day had already started late. The rest was much needed and they both were tired. Grant staggered to the bathroom needing a shower after the long day he had yesterday.After the shower, he changed into new loungewear and went out to get the mail. He had not gotten to it in a few days. Most of them were bills and a few letters from the guys in easy co. Those were the top priority since he liked to respond right away and see what everyone had gotten up too. Sometimes he wished he did not know since some of them had a knack for attracting trouble especially one George Luz.He got coffee and sat down to leaf through the stack of letters when an address and name caught his eye. The letter came from a man he had not heard from since before the war ended, Doc Roe. George had told him Babe went to visit and talk to the medic hoping he would get in contact with the men of easy co again. It must have worked because he knew how much get the medic felt over him getting shot.Chuck,Sorry for the long wait for a letter I could not get the will to write you. There is so much I have to say and yet I cannot. It makes me happy to here you are doing so well and thriving that is all I wanted for you. Babe is here and told me about the reunion coming up I will make every plan to attend. Seeing you and the other guys is something I cannot wait for. If you are okay with it there is more I have and want to say to you. This letter would be pages upon pages if I wrote all my thoughts down.Just know this letter was hard for me to write but at the same time therapeutic. Hearing about your recovery has soothed some of the guilt I have over what happened to you. RoeThe letter struck him speechless he could not believe even two years from his brush with death the medic who had saved his life still held guilt over what happened. Luz had told him about it but it still had not seeped into his brain. He wanted the medic to know he would be forever grateful for all he had done to save him. Tab sat beside him and gave him an inquiring look. Without thought, he handed the letter to him and let him read it. Tab had asked about Roe knowing how torn up about his wound. Tab looked sad and then became silent. He must be processing the contents as well and Grant knew he needed to send a thank you letter to Babe. Babe was one of the few still in contact with the medic and was very close still. Babe had told him he was visiting the Cajun medic but not to expect anything message wise from him. So Grant had not put much hope on getting anything from him so this was a welcome surprise. While they were not close he still wanted to know how he was doing. He tried to move on to the next stack of letters but the letter from the medic kept getting him. There was so so much unsaid and he wanted to let the man know how grateful he is for what he did. He missed the medic and his silent, comforting presence in the company. Each man had a certain presence and it felt different not to be around them every day anymore some he had not seen since the war ended. Some he would never lay eyes on again in this lifetime. The fact hurt his heart and he missed those who he had not heard from in years. The sad feelings evaporated when he saw a thick, multiple page letter from George Luz. The man always wrote the longest letters and brightened his day with them. It was a newspaper of all happening with the various members of the company. Luz had always been the company gossip and knew all the important detail about what everyone was doing. It felt comforting to read about most of the men doing well and getting jobs. Some had even started families and he looked forward to meeting all the new members of the easy company family at the reunion. Seeing the men flourish after all they had gone through was so good. Luz added his signature flair to the letter and Grant wondered how he had gotten all of this information on the men. The next letter was from Guarnere who as usual kept it short, unlike Luz. Chuck, It is so nice to hear from you. Frannie and I got married at a small wedding. You will get to meet her at the reunion, she seems excited to meet all of the company. Luz told me he sent a letter your way which means your going to get a novel. The man can never stop talking and ut apparently extends to his writing too. I heard you are in contact with Liebgott can you try to get him to the reunion. He never responds to my letters. Expect a phone call from Luz soon as well he wants to discuss the reunion. He has a bunch of ideas he wants to run by you. The reunion is going to a huge hit and it is good you get to come. Wild Bill Letters from Luz and Guarnere were the only constant letters he received besides Babe’s letters. A lot of the other men were sporadic with the letters sent. Grant had gotten better at responding as soon as he could. At first, he just put them off except for Tab’s since Tab was the one person he would always respond to. He got out the paper and stamps to the process started. Better now when he was awake and have some caffeine in his system. The medic’s he got to first. The letter took a few tries to get right as he wanted it to convey how much the medic meant to him. He had saved his life and for that, he had lots of emotions related to him. He ended up writing a longer letter than he had thought. Once he had gotten started he could not stop the pouring out of emotions and gratitude to the man. Tab came into the kitchen right as he finished the letter and took one look at him frowning. He handed the letter from Doc Roe over to him and let him read the short letter. His lover looked conflicted at the pieces of paper. Tab had seen first hand what happened to the medic after the incident with him. “ I honestly didn't think he would talk to you after the war. He changed a lot afterward and you could tell the whole thing with you weighed on him. It affected us all really since it made us realize there was still danger.” Tab told him “ No one in the whole regiment could have known the replacement would shoot a brother in arms. It could not have been prevented even so it should not have happened.” Grant told him “You are right it should never have happened and I wish there was something to prevent it. I thought it had been a cruel joke when Speirs came in and said you had been shot but when we found the replacement it finally made me realize you were fighting for your life.” Tab said. This letter had peeled back another layer of unspoken and unshared feelings. It seemed when they least wanted to talk about it an event forced them to. He finally had some answers to how tab had reacted. Luz had told him some but he had insisted it was really Tab’s story to tell. “Tab whatever happened to you afterward is not something you really need to talk about. I can tell it pains you to talk about it and seeing you like this hurts me too. One of my last thoughts I clearly remember is how will you react and if I died what would you have of me to keep with you to remember me by. I knew I was dying as I faded from consciousness and the biggest thoughts crossing my mind were you.” Grant had to tell him these thoughts. He had thought it would not be a good idea but this conversation had proved they needed to be said. Floyd had tears in his eyes and a hand covering his mouth. Grant reached out and grasped his hand. Not speaking at all just letting him know he did not need to say anything unless he wanted to. He spoke after a while shakily drawing in breaths, “ Chuck I cannot believe you were more concerned with me than your own health. You told me you kept the old scarf we were issued before Bastogne and if you had not made it out alive that is what I would have kept. Then I would have sent your things home to your mother. " As always Tab knew how to make him emotional over just a little detail about their relationship. Especially over the topic, they seemed to avoid what would have happened if Grant has died. Tab would have had really nothing to show of their relationship. They will always have to hide it and if he had died Tab would have has to mourn him as a friend in public. “ I still have that scarf you know. My belongings were mailed to the hospital they put me in so I have a lot of old uniforms I meant to throw out.” Grant told him. “ I save my things from the war too but can’t look at them. My brother refused to let me throw anything out.” Tab said “ I cannot look at my things either but I can’t part with them at all. I’ll pull the scarf out if you still would want it that way you can always have something of mine.” Grant said. Tab looked up from his bowl of cereal and had a small smile on his face, “ I would love to have it and I will always treasure it. I know I keep saying this but I am so happy you are still here. A life without you is not one I can imagine.” “ You know I sometimes cannot believe I made it. There are some days I struggle with being here still it feels like I am in a limbo. I will get used to it after a while but it still feels just odd at times.” Grant said Tab squeezed his hand, “ I know it must be hard and do not feel guilty for those thoughts. No one expects you to be fully healed just two years after the incident. No one really expected you to survive either it truly was a dire situation. Just please do not bottle everything up and talk to me please.” “I will I promise you. You were there and have a grasp on what happened to me.” Grant said. He knew Tab would have his back and always listen to him. As time went on talking became easier to talk. For other guys in the company as time passed talking would become harder and harder. Some would never talk about the war at all taking it to their grave. Tab he knew would probably never talk about it. He had only gotten bits and pieces of what happened after he was taken to the hospital. There were few things they had not been through together in the war. While they were in different platoons they always managed to make time to see each other. He hated not knowing the full extent of the last part of the war had on Tab. He might never know but at least his lover was telling him a few things. The easy nature they used to have had long since vanished and now he had to relearn parts of their relationship. Parts of them had changed into new things and ways of doing things. Tab had figured him out well and he tried with Tab but he was harder to read. Tab had always kept lots of emotions wrapped up and rarely opened up. This moment was rare and full of thoughts he had never really thought about. His almost death did weigh on him and he had an inkling Tab would probably never recovered from that. They were so close especially after the war since they could spend so much time together. Most of the time they had was downtime and not much war duties. A postwar moment that stood out to him from all of them was a moment by the lake. They had a few hours off from their duties and they spent it swimming, A rare lighthearted moment among the war. Both of them in PT gear in a quiet spot near the back of the lake talking on the beach. Both calm and full of excitement that they had a small moment of alone time. Usually, they were surrounded by their loud and sometimes drunk company mates. For once they had a quiet moment just the two of them. He felt so relaxed and full of love for Tab. Tab had reached out and grabbed his hand squeezing it. It was the first contact they had in a long a time and he rubbed his hand over Tab’s palm. They leaned on each other soaking in the sun and warmth of each other. Tab had flicked water at him and started a water war. Grant ended up soaked through and Floyd’s shoulders shaking with laughter. He could not be mad seeing as Tab had a bright smile on his face. It ended up with him pushing Floyd into the water in revenge. Floyd dragged him in with him and they were carefree for a few more moments. The cool water felt good compared to the summer heat and the pt they had just gone through. Speirs made them do PT. They ended up laying in the sun shirtless on the dock watching the clouds move in. He had wanted to kiss him so badly as he watched Tab explain the letter he got from home. The smile on his face was so wide and so full of hope. Grant did not have a family except for his mother so seeing Tab have a strong support system was so good. They both were going to need it after seeing all they had. He came back to present thanking the lord that treasured memory never faded because of his injury. There was so many treasured memory lost or shattered because of a single bullet. It hurt to know so many of the memories Tab always talked about he could never tell his side of the story. Letting his lover know how much he cherished all the time they had together and what he felt at the moment. Tab reached out clutching his hand and moved his chair closer to Grant. Calmness washed over him at Tab’s presence. This moment he could not be more happy Tab was with him as he did not think he could have opened the letter without support. Tab he hoped had told his family and the other men he kept in contact with knew he was here. Tab needed their support too as Grant could not support Tab all on his own.He got up for more coffee and some cereal for Floyd. He did not want to deal with a hungry Tab as he got grouchy without food. Nothing set off Tab’s complaints more than no food and bad food. He accepted the food and coffee with a smile.The morning uneventful after the letter and the afternoon exciting with Liebgott dropping by again. Grant told him about the letter but Lieb was not inclined to see the contents. Most of the guys did not contact Liebgott and he avoided letters at all possible moments. So it was no surprise he avoided the medic’s letters.“ I am so happy he got in contact with you. I know you had wanted it and now it has happened it. You are doing okay though the letter had to have brought up old memories.” Liebgott asked as he raided the fridge. Grant had given up on getting mad at him for doing it.Liebgott had always made himself at home which meant he always ran out of food. Tab seemed off since they talked about what would have happened if he had not made it through. liebgott picked up on it right away and Grant shook his head. The last thing he wanted was to worry Liebgott as the man had enough memories haunting him.The visit was a quick one as Liebgott had a side job to work but it still lightened the heavy atmosphere. Everything unsaid between him and Tab about the days after had come out causing him to have a heavy heart. Tab’s world had almost been shattered into small pieces like glass as he lay fighting and fighting to live a life he dreamed about.Liebgott knew about his worries for Tab after the late night talk leading to his knowledge of their relationship. Lieb had told him the days and months after were when he realized the true nature of the relationship. Everything they had tried to hide spilled out when so much uncertainty swirled around Grant. Grant could never thank him enough for just listening and encouraging him to tell Tab he still wanted a relationship. He had said both of them would have been stupid to waste a second chance. After a long silence and the lengthy letter, he wrote baring his soul to the silent lover he ended up with a hurting Tab on his doorstep a week ago. Now he had to go back to work and start physical therapy which he had so avoided. “ Tab can you come with to therapy tomorrow. I do not think I can do this alone and having you there would be so comforting. I stopped going a few weeks ago and I feel so anxious about going back but it is something I need to do.” “ Of course I will go with you. I would never let you go to something you would not want to do alone. I am so relieved you are going back I know it will not be fun at all but it is a good step forward.” Tab said as he cleaned the dishes. He knew he could always count and rely on his lover. Tab always had his back and he could not have gotten through the war without him. Now they were in each other’s lives again they had fallen into the same pattern of reliance. They still had a lot of the same strengths and weaknesses so they had in part fallen back into the same patterns of behavior. Having Tab there to draw strength from would help him. He could tell the difference in mobility since he had stopped going after one bad day. In retrospect, he should not have given up. Sometimes he wanted to smack himself for stupid decisions like that one. Tab being by his side again motivated him to keep getting better. There was not much changing his diagnosis but he could improve how much mobility he had. He had accepted certain limitations. Even the agreement did not settle the tension in the room between them and Grant did not want to burden Tab so he went to his room for the night. Deep down he knew his nightmares were going to drain him and Tab was struggling with a lot of emotions. He initiated a kiss for the first time and kissed him on the cheek. Tab understood without them even uttering a word to each other that he needed space. He did not know how he slept without his lover beside his side as he could not quiet his racing mind. There was so much going on emotion wise and some memories coming to the front he had not thought he would still have. He had no inkling to which memories he had and each revealed memory brought a new nightmare. Especially the ones about his brush with death. It still rattled him he could remember being shot but lost so many important memories. He would trade it for every lost one of Tab and him together. Of those first meetings and the gradual pace of learning each other’s thoughts. The next day passed in a blur both suffering from separation and the nightmares. He knew they needed to fix things about themselves before attempting to sleep together again. The pull of each other was too strong and both wanted to protect the other from the terrors plaguing them at night. Mid-afternoon saw them outside for the first time in since Liebgott went with them to the peir. Now they headed out to the appointment Grant had been dreading so much. Tab promised him sweets and coffee after. He could not resist spending time with Tab so he went to the appointment. He needed to deal with the setback he had with his left arm again. The last month had seen him struggle so much with it and no matter how he tried to hide it Tab had seen him struggling. His body language gave it away. Tab nodded and gave his hand a squeeze for support as they got to the appointment. He got an earful about how he could be not struggling from the setback. It went by quickly and he felt worse than before. A bone-deep exhaustion ran through his body as he went to fetch Tab who had fallen asleep in the waiting room. He could not help but smile at the peaceful look on his lover's face and the youthfulness sleep gave him. Floyd looked like he had before the war took his innocence and youth away. A light shake of the shoulder got him and to the car. They both needed the coffee and the sweets it looked like. As they sat together at the table silent and tired. It could not be missed how badly both were struggling. The ups and downs were hard on the body. They drew strength from each other and it hurt to see each other struggle so much. For now, he would focus on the here and now enjoying the time they had together.
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The coffee shop was the same one he had taken Tab to the first full day he was here. It played an important part in their relationship and is a symbol of new beginnings. Tab as usual had multiple pastries while Grant just ate to get Tab to stop mother henning him. He felt sore from therapy but he would not want to miss out on spending time with Tab even though Tab had said he was not leaving anytime soon he still felt unsure of how much time they really had. The war had instilled a sense of not knowing how much time they really had on this earth. He had not been able to shake that mindset even with the war being in the past. The war formed a strong tie in the threads of their relationship. Without it they would never have crossed paths and formed such a strong relationship. Tab looked concerned and tired showing rare emotions. Usually he would not show anything at all but with Grant around he did. He was harder to read then when they were constantly together time apart had changed how Tab reacted to events. He just settled for trying not to make the man across from too worried. Grant knew Tab had picked up on the pain he was in. The therapy helped to make him more mobile and he needed it after he suddenly lost more feeling in his left side. Relapsing was not something he had ever expected to have so shortly after he had recovered. But he knew there were not many cases like his so the doctors were at times in the dark. For now, he would just focus on their growing relationship and worry about the health problems in private. Tab would find out later but for now, he needed not to worry Tab unless he absolutely knew how bad it was. He did not even know what was going on or if he was having phantom symptoms. It had happened before and he knew this would be a repeating pattern throughout his life. His appetite was gone but he ate anyways needing to eat after all the exercise he had done. A big cloud looming over him besides his health had to be the reunion coming up in around a month. A good portion of easy co would be descending on his home and town causing all sorts of issue on the town. Lord knows the company had gotten into too much trouble especially in England. Tab especially had caused a lot of trouble even though he never got in trouble for anything. Grant always had been the one to break up all the drama and shenanigans the boys got into. Lord knows they needed constant supervision and not to be around bars. He hated being a hard ass but someone had too. Not to say he was not part of the shenanigans at one point or another. He looked up to see Tab with a mischievous look and chipmunk cheeks. Tab still had some immature tendencies. Grant could do nothing but laugh at the face. There were not many things that made him smile more than Tab. Seeing Tab so happy made him happy too. This outing was definitely a great idea as both needed to get out more. Even if it was after a hard day and all he could think about besides sleep was a hot bath. Both had become hermits after the war. Grant never leaving his job and Tab cutting off ties with the world slowly. Now together again and both still not doing much in the way of getting out of the house. The outing with Liebgott had been the most they had done in a while. But he treasured every moment he had with Tab even it was a mundane moment such as cooking or wrangling Sherman. He needed to get more coffee but he did not want to miss a moment with his lover. Tab needed to slow down on the sweets. “ Are you okay, Chuck. You seem tired and very out of it. Did they say anything about why your arm is acting up? I know you had mentioned they had no previous cases to go by for your recovery by I had hoped there might be something.” Tab asked him. “ I am tired and my arm is acting up again. The therapy seems not to be helping at all but like you said not much to go on.” Grant said. “ Well after this we can go home or go sit by the ocean again. The last thing either of us needs is being at home all the time.” Tab posed a thought Grant had. “ The sea wall does sound nice and I agree the last thing we need is being home all the time.” Grant agreed. Tab refused to let him pay for the food and he let him pay after a bit of a staring contest. He hated Tab paying for a lot of their meals but Tab would and could out-stubborn him. Lord knows they would there for a while if Grant had not just given the man across from him what he wanted. He would need to make another meal as that was just how he repaid Tab most of the time. For now, he just wanted to soak up this coffee shop and the few moments of peace it had brought him. Each day brought new turmoil in his life and sometimes he wondered when it would end. He wanted peace for both him and Tab they had seen so much in the war. Grant knew he had to just keep moving forward day by day. Today had been a big step in his recovery with him finally going back to physical therapy. He needed to keep moving and hoping he would not go back again. Tab held the door open and they hailed a cab. Both silently thanking god Lieb did not have work today otherwise they would have ended up risking their lives. A quiet ride led them to the seawall a little ways from where they had been yesterday. The small sea breeze ruffled their hair and cooled them down from the heat. “ Do you know exactly who’s going to the reunion next month. It will be good to see whoever is coming here.” Tab asked. “Not finalized but Malarkey, Compton, Luz, toye, Guarnere, Lipton, Spina, Roe, Babe, Winters, Welsh, Smokey, Bull, and Martin along with us, Liebgott, and Christenson. There might be more but so far no responses from a bunch of the guys. It will be good to see all of them” Grant told him what he knew. It felt like he had his old position of platoon sergeant as he had to coordinate so many of the guys. The role was one he enjoyed and he missed the platoon. Most of them he would see again and others he had not heard from. They were also going to be broke and drunk too. Nothing would change in that respect since most guys were the same as during the war. Tab and Liebgott he hoped would not back out at the moment since they were part of the group called the lost ones. Getting Liebgott to go had taken a lot of effort on his part and had resulted in him being put back in touch with Babe and Toye both. Lieb had become easier to talk to about the war after the letters started flowing. Being around old buddies helped all of them ease the pain of the war and be around others who had gone through the same battles. “ That is a lot more guys than I had thought would go and I am excited to see them all again. This will be like old time dancing and drinking. I cannot wait to see how they have gotten on since the war. I might start writing to them again I miss a lot of them.” Tab said “ Luz and Guarnere were not even sure we would get that many of the guys. While we had contact with all of them we were not even sure there would be any responses.So this turnout is really good.” Grant explained the process. “It is great the turnout is bigger than you guys had thought. They needed the support from a reunion I am guessing. Still surprised Roe is going to show along with Liebgott. Those two are so hard to get a hold of.” Tab said. “Roe was all Luz and Guarnere. They sent him so many letters and called him a lot. Babe got them his address since it looks like he really only gave it to him. I didn't even realize how close those two were. Guess I needed to pay more attention than what I did.” Grant said. Tab laughed at his admission, “ How could you not see it. They were so close like us. Babe was one of the few Roe got close to. He pushed most of us away so he would not have to deal with handling the death of his friends.” “ I must have been really dense to not notice their relationship. I knew something had changed between them in Bastogne but never further investigated it further. He needed a friend and Babe is hard not to like.” “Grant I never pegged you for being oblivious. You saw Luz and Toye’s developing friendship first. Everyone else saw Luz annoying Toye but it was just Luz being Luz. So missing those two is shocking.” Tab teased him. He rolled his eyes at his lover and shook his head. Tab was up to his usual tricks. Tab always took shots at him and he gave back as good as he got. It was just a normal part of their relationship. He had learned really quickly Tab had a way of showing affection by teasing and having a dry sense of humor. The old banter between the two of them felt good. He missed it a lot and seeing Tab getting back into his old habits reassured him everything would right itself. He missed the banter so much as that began their relationship. Tab had ribbed him about how shy he was when they had met and it set off their relationship. Grant had come out of his shell little by little with Tab helping him along. When they had first met Grant had been withdrawn after spending most of his time isolated working and working before the war. Tab had taken under his wing and he had come out of his shell becoming more social as the men got closer to him too. Grant had to grow up quickly after his brother and father had died. He had become the sole provider of the family. Floyd had listened and supported creating a foundation for them to build a relationship on and now here they are five years later starting on a romantic relationship. Time had flown by and changed how they saw each other. He wished he could pinpoint each moment in time their relationship had evolved but those memories had been snatched away. Now he grasped at thin threads of memories hoping they were important parts of their past. Tab had filled in the threads and spots missing from his memory. It still did not replace them since they were not from his point of view. He could only see them through Tab’s view and there were emotions not seen through Tab’s view he had. Being outdoors and out in the fresh air always helped ease the conversations along. It seemed to work out that way and he could not help but think the ocean was his sanctuary. He hoped in time it would be the same for his lover. Tab had made a big decision to move to California on a whim and brought up so many pent-up emotions. He could see with very few glances Tab was struggling. Right now his lover look at peace head tilted to the sky. He needed him to just to let everything out as he had been pulling away not wanting to burden Grant. He had done the same but realized he could not hold the weight on his shoulders. But he did not want to push him and strain an already fragile bond. It hurt to see how tired Tab was. Grant settled down into the bench slowly letting out the breath he had been holding. The missing memories haunted him and he knew there were no options to get them back. He needed to find the journals he had written in sparsely during the war. Those had gone in the box in his attic along with anything associated with the war. The only reminder of the war he could even look at was his few friends from the company. He made a reminder to look and glean any information about important parts of Tab and his relationship. The more stories Tab told him about various events in their relationship the more he realized he lost so much. His memory was patchy at best and most of what happened with Tab was gone. Now he would make just have to make do with what memories he had left. It hurt to know so much was lost and not much could be done about it. He watched the way Tab lit up while he watched the ocean. These new memories made over the past few weeks were ones he knew would never fade. All of them part of a rare second chance at being with his lover who he thought slipped from his world forever. Grant knew from the way he watched Tab that he had been so grateful as well for the second chance. He was easier to read and opened up more than he ever had. They had to guard their feelings and hearts during the war now they had transitioned to more openness. Still, even now they had to guard themselves as their relationship had to be a secret. They had no idea when or even ever they could show their true feelings. He moved a bit to get some snacks from his pockets. Suddenly hungry as he always was after pt even with the snack at the cafe they always went to. The only time he actually had an appetite now was after these such appointments. Otherwise, he left the eating to Tab in the relationship. Tab grabbed some snacks from him as he got distracted by a seagull. Leave it to him to leave food unattended around Tab even after all their history. Poor Tab always had a bottomless pit when it came to food. During the war, he had gotten well crabby as the food was rationed out especially during Bastogne. Over the course of the war, he had gotten better at making sure Tab had food. . Grant stashed the food again even with Tab giving him the puppy eyes.No one could withstand the puppy dog eyes he had even gotten Winters with them. Grant and Luz have witnessed it and the story had become an easy company legend. Everyone knew Tab was Winters favorite soldier in the company and it became apparent towards the end of the war after Grant had been sent stateside. Tab had told him the mundane parts of life after in the flurry of letters sent to him. He missed those long letters sent his way as that was the most they had communicated before the letters tapered off into nothing. Now even with it being a few weeks since they were back together again, they could barely string sentences together. This sitting in companionable silence was the first time he felt okay with the silence between them. A rare moment of silence that did not contain unuttered thoughts and swirling emotions. This he felt turned their relationship towards a new path. He could be wrong but it seems the tension had been slowly bleeding out of their relationship. Tab looked so carefree as he chattered on about the baseball game he had listened to last night. The had gone from barely knowing what to say to talking about all of their interests. It felt like the old days where they would sit and talk about everything. He missed just listening to Tab going on about his interests. Never one for a conversation he just listened and always shared whatever he was up too. SInce had met Tab he just loved listening to the man talk about everything. Even though he downplays it most of the time Tab is one of the smartest men he knew. Out of the pair he knew Tab would do well in college and Tab had brought up college a few times since he had arrived. He had encouraged the man to go back and finish his degree. He spent so much time motivating him and getting him back into old hobbies. Tab still was so lost even now a few years after the war. Grant knew he done the right thing by throwing himself back into work as soon as he was able. If not he would have just dwelled on how much he could not do. A friend offered him a lifeline with the store and he pulled himself out slowly of the darkness eating away at his life.“You are so introverted again. Did something happen at physical therapy or are all the topics brought up swirling in your brain again?” Tab asked.“I don’t know Tab. I just know I can’t stay in the present. My mind keeps slipping back and trying to fight through the haze of lost memories. It seems it’s all the ones I lost with you in the forefront. I blocked out the fact there is a lot gone. You being here and us forming new memories has dredged up the hazy ones. Being here reminds me of the time in Mormelon when we sat outside in silence preparing ourselves for what was next.” Grant told him. All of his thoughts coming out in a rush.“ Your mind is trying to connect the pieces missing but cannot grasp where they go. If I can take a guess seeing me has brought forth everything you had lost. Please just let me in and not shut me out like you are doing now. It feels like I am losing you again and it will be too much for me this time around. Let’s just focus on the here and now, please. Seeing you like this breaks my heart. I know you have accepted how your body is limited but seeing how you struggle with the memory loss hurts me. Instead of struggling please let me find your journal I know you wrote in a lot and maybe it will help.” Tab said. “ I promised you the scarf and you can get the journal down from there too,” Grant told him. “You are too important to me and I cannot lose you a third time. You were shot then I foolishly decided to cut myself off from you now I feel like you are slipping away. More and more I see you spacing out. It makes me so worried and sad because you were dealt such an unfair hand in life and I was not there for you when it happened.” Tab said. He turned to look at the man across from him whose eyes were full of worry. They had hit another rough patch. This one he would not let slide by and build into a bigger problem than it had started out as. “Floyd please trust me when I say I am okay. Being around you triggers my memory since there are so many parts gone. You were a huge part of my life during the wat as you are my best friend. Whenever you do a familiar habit like pulling on your lower lip when worried it brings a memory forward. Most of the time the memory is surrounded by a fog but I have been remembering a few old memories. So I am fine and this is making me think of that short trip we had to the seaside on a weekend pass. We could not see much but we just sat on the old balcony just sitting and talking.” Grant explained. “ I forgot about the weekend in question. It turned out so differently than we had planned which just was drinking a lot and partying. Still, a great weekend and I feel bad for forgetting it. I regret not going on the seawall there. You gave me such crap for being scared of being out in a small storm.” Tab laughed at the memory. “ Well, you are going to have to get used to weather like that since you live here now. And get used to the ocean.” Grant said. “ The ocean I am excited about. Weather, not so much Kokomo was known for the wild weather so I was hoping to escape that. I do not think it can be as bad as there expect the fog is so much worse here. The fog does look pretty rolling off the bay I might have to take my camera out one morning while you are at work. Lord knows you wake up at the crack of dawn.” Tab told him “Why do you constantly complain about the fact I wake up early. You did it too during the war. I know you take forever to get ready in the morning too. So you cannot put the blame on me for you not like mornings.” Grant teased Tab always complained and hated getting up early. Now he got to see Tab well rested and not full of biting remarks first thing in the morning. Tab was easier to deal with now too and hiding behind a mask of snark and partying. The one thing not changed was how much Tab was respected by all the men in the company most of all Winters. He was one of the core leaders of the group. Civilian Tab still had an air of command and one that commanded respect. Even now seemingly harmless eating ice cream he could see the part of Tab which was so respected during the war. The mantle of leadership never leaving the man. Tab despite denying still carried so much of the army with him. Grant had shaken off the mantle of leadership as he worked his way step by step in the minefield that was adjusting to civilian life. The traumatic ties of war hurt his mind. Distancing himself from the war helped the healing process and he needed that. Here and now with Tab sitting side by side breathing in sync that was all he needed. It centered him and let him know he had a constant person in his life. Tab had been one of the only people he could count on during the war and now tab had assumed the mantle again. Even so far as to get food for him now. These little moments of peace and kindness would always stick with him. Tab meant so to him and being here with him made everything fade for a while. They lost track of time sitting there talking and enjoying the calm sea air. Grant just wanted to hold the man sitting next to him close and never let him go. He knew he was going to snuggle with him when they got home since he needed the tangible connection. Grant usually was not a touchy person but now he needed a tangible connection to know this was a dream. The past two weeks had been so good for him even with all the mental health struggles he had Tab back. Having him by his side again felt so good as the last year and a half was full of lonely. The longing had gotten worse as time and distance and had spread them even farther than they ever had been. The pair brushed shoulders as they walked along the pier as the fog rolled in. He had hoped that would happen. Tab had chartered a lot about seeing it. He had quickly learned Tab was fascinated by the ocean early on in boot camp. Grant could not imagine living away from the ocean as it brought peace to him. His childhood had not been stable and the ocean had been a comfort to him. He hoped it did the same for the trouble man next to him. Tab he had observed became more relaxed as he walked around the seawall. The other man was not in a talkative mood but the feeling of him next to him made up for it. He was in pain from pt but still felt up to the slow pace they were walking. He felt so tired down to the core but being here and not in the house. After staying in so long even before Tab had shown up that fateful night. If he wasn’t at work he was at home trying to isolate himself. Tab had pulled him out of it slowly but surely. He felt so much better now as he got out more. It was no surprise Floyd dragged him out of the house. He had always been an outdoorsy type. Floyd had the time of his life in Austria and Grant had always found him on the docks. They had stolen rare moments of alone time together on the docks. Most of the time swimming to stave off the heat and humidity. It felt so good even with the water being ice cold. He always gave Floyd crap about being so outdoorsy but now he appreciated it. Since he was always restless and dragged Grant out. It was like that during the war and the sunset over the bay as Tab chattered about baseball. Tab hurried them along so he could get home and put the game on the radio. “We should listen on the porch to the game. I cannot stand to be indoors again. It seems we have been indoors for so long and the last thing we need is to feel cramped and boxed in indoors.” Tab said. “ I like the sound of that. It seems so much better than just sitting on the couch. More fresh air will do me good maybe help me feel better.” Grant said as the past few days had been a struggle. He felt like he was going through a relapse. “You are still not feeling well? Are you still going to work tomorrow.” Tab inquired. “ Still feeling not too good and still going to work. What I feel now is a reoccurring thing. It happens every few months. No one is too sure why it happens but it is what it is” Grant explained. He had not intended to hide it from Floyd but it was another thing his lover had to worry about. But that logic was faulted as he needed to share as much as he could with Tab. There were a lot of things he was not too comfortable sharing but in time he would be. His health was ever evolving and sometimes he had no words to explain it. “Chuck how can you seem so calm about it all. If I was in your situation I would be so worried. You are handling it better than I ever would have. Just please tell me if it gets worse and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” Tab told him. “ I have just gotten used to it and I promise to tell you. We need to be open with each other. Really not much I can do besides just keep living one day at a time. At first, it did not feel like I had everything under control but now I have a grasp on it” Grant said. “Well that’s good you are doing better with it all. And thank you for promising to tell me I could not bear to see in pain and hurting again.” Tab said. “ I do not ever want you to have to go through me being hurt again without at least a warning. I know how you reacted after the last incident. If I had ended up in your position I would have done the same.” Grant told him. Tab just nodded and had a week smile. While he has reassured his lover it had also dredged up old memories. Which was not what he wanted to do and always seemed to end up doing. The door opened and little Sherman greeted them oblivious to Grant feeling horrible and Tab being full of swirling emotions. Tab pulled him into the dark hallway and pressed his lips to Grant’s. He did not pull back letting emotions override the rational part of his brain. He grabbed Tab and pulled him closer. Not caring if he messed up his shirt and messed up his styled hair. Tab would gripe about that later. No matter how many times he ended up kissing him it still felt like the last time he would ever have this chance. Floyd pulled his shirt out of his pants to explore his sides. They had never gotten farther than this and he wanted more but not now. He trailed open mouth kisses down the other man’s neck to distract from his ticklish ministrations. Tab let out a small moan and dug his nails into his side. Grant had figured out really quickly the other man ’s neck was a weakness. They separated after a few moments and just held onto each other not wanting to leave the comfort of each other’s arms. Tab rubbing his hands up and down his back calming him. It always was hard to leave the warmth of each other. He hoped they were back to bed sharing because he knew the night would hard and he just wanted the other man close. Tab went to sit on the porch and get the game on. It seemed most of his neighbors had the same idea. It was a day too nice to waste sitting indoors watching the game. He got the apple pie out of the icebox and made some iced tea. He thought beer would not be a good choice until later if Tab’s team lost. They were not doing well in the standings. His LA Dodgers were doing well but they were not playing tonight. The porch had a nice breeze going through. He missed the nice air for the few moments. It seemed so nice to be out here instead. Floyd was reclining in the deck chair looking sleepy. The radio announcers calling the first inning. His button-up undone and his undershirt showing. The picture of relaxed and content. It was his favorite version of Tab and one he rarely saw. He was not one to let his guard down and relax. He reached out and shook his shoulder letting him know the food was ready. Tab reaches blindly for the sandwiches. It seemed it was their normal meal as both of them had not had much energy to do much cooking. He still owed Floyd cooking lessons. Work had him wary of leaving Tab at home without food. He wasn’t useless it’s just Tab and the kitchen was a bad combination. The most he let Tab do was feed Sherman since the cat had taken to him. Tab had cleaned the whole house last time he was at work. They had developed an easy routine getting stuff done. Tab had offered so much and Grant had refused a lot of the money. He would worry about that later as Tab was doing enough. Tab had spontaneous grocery shopping down to a tee. He would come from work to find the pantry stocked with food he had not remembered being there. It was Tab who had wanted to help with it. He would not refuse the help. He wanted these quiet moments and Tab’s spontaneous ideas for as long as he could. His home finally felt like a proper home with his soulmate here. He never knew what was missing till Floyd showed up. The pieces he didn’t know where missing fell into place as the weeks went by. In this moment as he watched Tab smiling at the radio he knew he wanted this moment to last a long time. Just so he could see the radiant smile again and again. Grant knew the other man felt the same when he got excited too. They know each other so well even with separation changing bits and pieces of integral parts of them. Tab always got the baseball scores from home in his letters even when they shortened the season. He would always end up with an overexcited Tab sitting next to him when he got those letters from home. Grant compares him to an overexcited puppy at times. Even now he could be compared to one with his team winning. He had no bone to pick with either team. The winning team he hoped would be Tab’s team. Tab would be on cloud nine for the rest of the week. He loved seeing how happy Floyd got when his favorite team one. Floyd told all of the men who would listen about the many baseball games he went to before the war. Those were his happiest moments since they were with his brothers. Tab valued his family so much and he knew whatever the reason Tab decided to come here must have been important to rip him away from them. There were a few letters he had seen from his siblings that were left unopened. For him, he knew Tab would not just avoid them for no good reason. Sooner or later he had to pop the bubble of happiness and ask directly why Tab left home beside the fact the world had moved on without him. The sentiment was shared with all the veterans who came home. Grant remembered clearly the day he came how from the hospital in San Diego. He was astonished at how much the landscape he once knew like the back of his hand had morphed into a sight he could not recognize. This little piece of home he had carved out was one he recognized as the place he grew up around had changed so little. Tab had come to call this place home too and it showed in his mannerisms. The way he was relaxed as he tilted his head back to rest as he listened to the play by play. Grant could not relax as well as Tab was now but he sure would try. THere was not much he could do to relax as he was perpetually tense. He also wanted to touch and be touched by Tab, the brief kisses exchanged early still on his mind. All the thoughts that crossed his mind were about Tab as the boundaries blurred more and more. He could feel the inevitable talk about where and what they needed to be for each other. No matter the outcome he still wanted moments like these sitting on the porch with Tab getting excited when his team got a homerun. Grant had gone in to feed Sherman and find some sort of dessert for Tab. He found his stash of lemon icebox cookies. Those were his favorite cookie and he wanted to share them with Tab. Tab hasn't met a dessert he did not like and he hoped Tab liked these. His cookie stash dwindled faster and faster with Tab around. It made him ponder how Tab survived in the war without out all the sugar he seemed to consume.Tab was down to his undershirt which was going to cause an uproar as that was not too much part of decorum. But the other man would never follow many rules of society. Military rules were really the only ones Tab did follow.he at times could be very chaotic to say the least.They balanced each other out Grant more serious and Tab carefree. Their roles in the relationship had switched over time. But their current dynamic harkened back to the tentative first weeks of bootcamp as they had gotten to know each other without the scars of war. The day wound down on the porch with the two of them sitting quietly. Grant had started to feel worse as the night went on and he had to conceal the way he felt. He had this before when he almost died on the train. This worried him and he hated this because he had left so much unsaid with Tab. Tab went to get his medicine he only took when he was not feeling well. Grant felt his legs give out and his vision go black. He could not see anything but felt calloused hands run across his face and then nothing. The next thing he registered was Tab calling who he thought was Liebgott then someone else. Grant fought and fought to regain consciousness but he could not fight his way through the darkness. “ I do not know if you can hear me but I need you to fight this and fight for me. You promised me to take me to the beach and we would make a real go of things between us. I cannot lose you again. Liebgott is going to be here and the paramedics too. I cannot risk losing you now being here. You have always been a light in my world and without you, I would not be where I am.” Tab pleaded with him. He could not even lift his hand to reassure his lover of the fact he could hear his pleas. Grant felt the same about Tab and they had so much to still do. They were going to grow old together and start a relationship. He did not know how long it was but he heard unknown voices and Liebgott biting tone at one of the unknowns. Then finally peaceful quite consumed him and he knew no more except for Tab’s pleaded for him to stay with them, He woke up dazed and he knew he was back in the hospital. God, he hated this place and he hated the setbacks he had. Tab asleep in the chair across from his bed painted the only tranquil part of this picture. He had no inkling of what time it is or even if was still the same day. All he knew was an aching pain in his body and a splitting headache. Just like last time he had no warning, this would come on. He noticed the man sitting across from him clutched something tightly between his fingers and he saw it was his scarf. That keyed him into how bad they must have thought he was doing. It also made his fuzzy thoughts rearrange into the fact he had to tell Tab about the fact this had happened before. He never meant to hide it from him it just was yet another thing for him to worry about. The door opened and in came Liebgott who looked tired and concerned. Before he could process it he was enveloped in a hug. liebgott not wanting to let go and Grant just let him clutch to him. He had never talked about what happened after Grant had been shot and now Grant knew without him uttering a single word his death would have shattered his best friends world. Liebgott would have been like Malarkey still struggling with the twin losses of Skip and Penkala. He had to fight to live not really for himself but for Tab and Liebgott. The two closest to him. Liebgott, the older brother he never had, and Tab, his best friend and lover. “ You gave me a scare Chuck. Please do not ever do that again. I almost lost you three times and that is three times too many. And you really need to talk with Tab I let it slip that this had happened before. I had to for the paramedics and I did not even realize that was a topic not brought up yet.” Liebgott said. “ I do not know what I would do without you, Lieb. Thank you for being here and taking care of Tab. I know I need to tell him and I was planning on it before I passed out. Trust me he would have known. With the reunion coming up I had to tell him everything before Luz did.” Grant replied still being hugged by Liebgott. They separated as they heard Tab rustling in the background. Tab looked so tired and worn. It painted a different picture of him before as he had looked so relaxed and enjoying life. Liebgott handed him some coffee and went to sit in the other chair. Floyd had a look of shock and happiness at seeing him awake. He put on a weak smile as Tab went and gave him a hug. Just like LIebgott careful of his left side as it was numb again. Yet another setback but he was alive and here with the two people who mattered most to him. “ I need you to explain something to me, please. Liebgott said this happened before was this after you were getting transferred home. Because I remember a span of time was I did not get any letters and I was so worried that all of the sudden I had a long letter saying you had some issues getting home. Lieb said you had collapsed like this and lost feeling again but that time worse. Please answer me and I wished you had not kept this from me and was this what you were going to tell me.” Tab asked. “It is what I was going to tell you and I only kept it from you because the last thing I ever wanted was to burden you and now I know I should have just told you. The last time was almost as scary as when I was shot. From here on we both will be open with each other and when I get out of here we need to have a long talk about the war and what happened afterward.” Grant said. He never wanted to see him this scared again and he had an inkling this was what Tab was like when he was shot. He knew he had to ask him about that as he had only heard things from Malarkey and Luz. That got him to squeeze even tighter and he felt tears stain his hospital clothes. In this moment all he could see was the long-promised beach trip, the reunion, and the rest of their lives together. They finally were going to have a chance at the life they had always wanted. He wanted to get better just to have all those moments with his lover.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Waking up in the hospital dazed and barely conscious had him reliving memories he thought were repressed. Now he remembered facing down the replacement with a gun, seeing him shoot and feel powerless to stop. The others mostly flashbacks with Tab. Now he understood what Luz had cryptical talked about when he visited. Tab had not left his side in the two weeks he had been here. Right now Tab was curled under a blanket clutching Grant’s scarf.He had given it to the other man not even a day before his relapse. The look on Tab’s face was one of love and sentiment. Grant had started reading the journals he had written and listened to Tab’s stories about them. Over the last weeks, Tab would sit and just talk about all they had done together. It soothed him and Tab told him about the events after he had been shot too finally. Neither of them wanting to hold back anymore. There was a sense of urgency as Grant’s life still hung in the balance. He had good days and bad days. The last few days had seen him in and out of consciousness with a high fever. That had spurred on Tab and one late night had spilled his story to Grant. It had been hard on his lover and he did not see him for most of the next day. As he had tried to grapple with everything he had told him.Liebgott taking his place at his bedside and mama henned him. Liebgott was a caring soul who when a friend was injured did everything he could to make sure he got what he needed. Most saw his prickly exterior but Grant knew how compassionate and caring he was. They were brothers and knew about the parts he did not show in public. The men of easy company knew too about Lieb’s caring nature.He could see how weary Liebgott had become. Right now he clutched a cup of coffee like it was a lifeline. More subdued than normal and harder to read too. Each and everyone close to him had changed in the last two weeks. It hurt to see Liebgott and Tab go through yet another trauma with him involved. A hand on his arm made him look up as he had guessed Lieb had seen the still full tray of food.The morning had seen him sick and barely able to keep food down. The afternoon had not fared any better and he hated the feeling of being hungry but not able to keep food down. The doctors had no inkling of why this had come over him. They did not even know when he could be released. At least most of the day had been spent in physical therapy as his left side had been set back again. He had become quite again as well barely speaking to anyone here.Tab was really the only one who got long conversations with him. He loved the conversations they had together and Tab reading to him. The part he craved was contact they could not touch each other in public and missed Tab curled around him at night. The feeling of Floyd’s arms around his waist whether they were curled up on the couch or in bed. He never knew how dependent he had become with the affection.The nights were sleepless without Tab being by his side. He insisted on Tab and Liebgott going home every night or switching off. Tab he knew was not sleeping either and had lost a bit of weight. Liebgott never looked like he got any sleep and Grant knew from a rare moment of vulnerability from him that the war haunted him every time he dared closed his eyes. If he could bear the hurt both of them felt he would.Today he was getting new visitors in the form of Malarkey and Buck. He saw Buck a lot out of the two of them. Mal had been so introverted since the war ended, the loss of his friends taking a toll on the once outgoing man. They had been close but not as close as Mal was to Skip and Penk. Now after the war, they had been drawn together by the tragedies that happened to both. Both were different but still shattered from all they had seen. Looking back at the end of the war everything had seemed so optimistic and full of hope. Tab and he had made grand plans to travel and just be without the military surrounding them. Instead, both had drifted apart after an emotional parting in new york and only came together again from Tab feeling adrift in the world. A quiet conversation drew him from his thoughts and he saw the pair of visitors. Buck looked better and better each time he saw him. The effects of the war fading from him. Malarkey looked happier as he had finally proposed to Irene, the love of his life. He waved at both of them to come in. Malarkey enveloped him in a tight hug and he hugged him back. He missed his old friend. Buck gave him a huge smile and a hug. Tab and Liebgott came in behind them. It felt just like the war again with them together. All the guys agreed the rare moments of just them sitting around and shooting the shit were the best ones. He knew this would be a big catch up for all of them. Liebgott and Mal were talking while embraced in a hug. They had not seen each other since the war ended. He had to smile at the reunion as he had wanted Liebgott to reconnect with his old friends. Not one to push him towards an outcome he just let Liebgott work his issues out by himself. Seeing him and Don smiling brought so many emotions forward. They looked like their pre-war selves almost. Liebgott, having a hard exterior but was a kind, caring man who would do anything for his friends. Malarkey, carefree and yet caring, a strong leader and someone who everyone wanted to be friends with. Tab standing to the side but still smiling. Buck approached him and got him out of his shell slowly. After all the reunions they gathered around his bed to include him in the conversations. Tab chattering with Malarkey now as Liebgott had pulled him into a conversation with him. God, he could not feel any lighter than he did at this moment as he watched his brothers reunite. Liebgott sandwiched between a laughing Tab and an over-excited Malarkey. Buck and him calmly taking to the trio.“You are still going to make the reunion right? I do not think it would be the same without you. The guys are all excited to see you up and about.” Malarkey asked him.He smiled at that. All the letter he had received since he had fallen ill said basically the same thing, “ I am. I cannot and will not miss that. The company is mostly back together being in the hospital will not stop me from missing all the shenanigans.”Buck laughed at his statement knowing full well what Easy company could do, “ Why do you think Winters is coming. He is really the only one to get through the chaos.”Liebgott laughed and tried to cover it with a cough. Winters while highly respected and revered by the men but at times they tried his patience. Liebgott had a few times too. Tab could do no wrong as Winters’s called him his guardian angel. Grant knew Winters respected him and his leadership roles.“ Most of the guys are married now but that won’t stop them from going out and having a good time. They still do love a good bar and party.” Malarkey said. Grant could not agree more with what Malarkey said. The boys still knew how to cut loose and have a good time. Even just having the five of them together was a rare occasion. Having most of the guys back together had not happened since the war ended. He had even got back more letters saying they were going to come to the reunion. Popeye, Shifty, Perconte, Alley, Spina, and Skinny had all replied back saying they would not miss the reunion for the world. Those letters got him through the pain. He had also started a regular correspondence with the elusive Doc Roe and Babe had told him Roe had contacted more of the men. The letters and then the pair of Buck and Malarkey coming to visit helped his recovery. He wanted to be up and around again just so he could just catch up on everything. Letters were great but just talking in person for hours felt right. Helped ground him too especially with Malarkey who he had been close with during the war but drifted apart into different grief states after. He wanted to see how his brothers had fared after the war. Every one of them had a different idea of what they wanted to do after the war and he knew they would all flourish with their jobs. The faith he had with them was amazing and he knew they would do great things and change the world for the better. Each and every veteran would too as they had fought tooth and nail for the freedoms they had. Liebgott seemed pleased as he bothered Malarkey again slipping into his old routine of snarky remarks. Buck talking to Tab and him about how Tab was adjusting to life here.“Tab it is nice to see you again but what made you move here. I know you and Chuck are good friends. Did that have to do with the move?” Buck asked.Tab looked at him for permission and he nodded. Tab would not tell about the real nature of their relationship. “ I was not doing too well at home in Kokomo and I wanted to know how Chuck had been doing. We talked for a while and he has been letting me stay with him and I have enrolled in college now too. Being here has done wonders for my health and being near so many of you has been good too. I missed being around all of you.”Malarkey had a small smile on his face and he seemed less tense as the conversation went along. Seeing him without the beard did seem weird but he seemed more of the old Malarkey he remembered. “ I hate the fact you are sick again. You have been through so much and do not need to be sick again. You, Guarnere, and Toye do not deserve to have any more suffering after what you three went through. I told Buck on the way here what happened to you was so unfair and for you to relapse again is just horrible.” “ I am not trying to sound resigned but all three of us were handed a harder post-war life but we all have to handle it and keep going. Every single one of you guys who has sent letters or visited has made it easier to keep going. I know Toye and Wild bill would say the same thing if they were here.” Grant said. He meant it too and he was grateful for the guys who had visited. Buck studied him and he was not sure what for. They had been not been closed during the war but after the war, Buck had been one of the first to visit. That had started a friendship and visits when Buck found out where he lived. He knew he was going to get a lecture or who knows what.“ I know you three have to accept what happened to you but please just know the company has your back. It would have been a detriment to us all if we lost you three. Grant just let me know if you need anything.” Buck told him.“ I will let you know and we need to get together more often now that Lieb and Tab are here. They will come for sure and Malark you got to come down more.” Grant told them.Malarkey smiled at him, one of his rare full smiles. He missed the ginger so much and the phone calls were not enough. Malarkey, Lieb, Tab, Babe, and Guarnere had been his closest friends during the war. “ I want to start coming down here more. I missed all of you so much and I finally am starting to feel so much better. Won’t ever be the same but I cannot cut myself off from you guys anymore. This is not the best circumstances but it did get me out of the house.” Malarkey said.Liebgott looked up at the last part and reached over to give him a hug. Those two had not seen each other in years and they had spent the last few hours reconnecting. Malarkey had given the other man his address in Oregon making sure they would stay in contact. Tab and Lieb left for a few moments to go get food. Grant moved around to get comfortable and turn towards the two guys left. The post-war years had been good to them. Even with dealing heavy grief, Malarkey had become much like he was years ago. Buck had become a police officer and done well. He hated to compare himself to them but seeing them doing well was such in a stark contrast to where he was now.“ While those two are gone can you assure me they are okay. I can tell both are not even close to okay.” Buck asked. Concern showing on his face.Grant thought about how to answer this without divulging too much information on them. They deserved to tell their story and not have someone else tell it. He did not even know half of what happened to the pair while they were not in contact.“As you both know Tab came to live with me a little over a month ago unexpectedly. I did not know he was coming to visit or stay with me. We had fallen out of contact but I had always told him if he was struggling too much at home he could come here to visit. He has gotten better here but it is slow progress. I do not know what really happened to him before he came. Liebgott is a different story. I do not have any clue where he was after the war. He visited me and I gave him my address there since we both live here in San Fran. I never saw him for about a year till he knocked on my door asking to talk. We have been in contact ever since then.” Grant said. The whole thing was the most he had said in ages.“Christ I did not know how those two fared but I am so grateful they had you to guide them. You have been told this a lot I can tell but thank god you survived. We would have lost not only you but Tab and Lieb.” Malarkey said.Buck looked to be taking it all in. In a way, he was still one of the leaders of the men and always made sure they were doing all well. “ I knew about Lieb but not how bad Tab was doing. I know I could have done nothing as I had not heard from him since I was taken off the line. Lieb, I heard about through Luz who I am assuming heard from you.” Buck said.“ Luz did hear it from me. We talk on the phone twice a month and I mentioned I had found Lieb. I told him it was okay to tell everyone the news as we all were worried about him. It stopped Wild Bill and Toye from coming to here.”Malarkey and buck both laughed at that. Those two were going to the reunion and it was going to be a hell of a time with them. The conversation went onto their lives as the post-war times had hit hard. Especially when they had to locate a lot of their brothers who had dropped out of contact as soon as the ship docked. Some still had not even been located and probably never would be.Tab and Liebgott came back with food and a disgruntled nurse behind them. He could not be even surprised at that. There were more visitors than allowed in here but they could deal with it. He felt better than he had in the past few weeks as having the people he cared for here made his recovery easier.The nurse looked irritated and done with him having to deal with a crowded room. For five paratroopers they were quiet and not as rowdy as people would expect from them. Even Buck who was the most level-headed of the bunch could raise hell if he wanted. “. I wanted to eat and Tab would not let me in eat in the car. I thought we would never get here with how slow he drives.” Liebgott complained.“ I wanted to get here alive. Your driving would not assure it.” Tab shot back not backing down on his stance.Malarkey had to jump in and complain about Liebgott, “ I got to agree with Tab on this as I am sure your driving has not changed since the war. Still wondering why you got a cab license before the war. Thank god Buck got me from the airport.”Liebgott had gotten riled up and Tab had to contain his laughter at his face. Buck looked like a disappointed parent while Grant was trying to contain his laughter too. God, it felt like those rare moments during the war where they gave each other crap about their flaws. “Well, nothing has changed from the war it seems. Two years apart and the three of you still like to get a rise out of each other. Sometimes I wondered how you three got along when I first got there. Then I saw you guys with Skip and Grant which explained how you guys all got along well.” Buck said. The mention of Skip made them all go quietly. They all noticed the hole he left behind in his wake. Malarkey most of all and they made sure to keep Skip’s memory alive. A lot of their war memories had him in them. Grant missed him a lot and so did Tab. Buck knew what the man meant to the company. “ Both of them did help get us all in line and not going too far with jokes. Grant still has the job it seems. That mantle has landed on you. I can imagine getting Tab and Lieb to not bother each other at times can be challenging.” Malarkey said as he tried to lighten the mood. Whenever they all get together a lot of sore topics came up and lots of old memories popped up. He could not wait for the reunion and the fact it was in less than a month helped him get better. The doctors told him by the end of the week he would know if he could even go back home. He felt better with all the guys visiting him here and giving him a lot of crap. He did not really want them to see him so weak especially with physical therapy. But all of them expect Buck had seen him clinging to life after being shot and when he looked like death after surgery. “You have no idea. Going out in public with the pair can be a pain in my ass. Especially when Lieb wants to drive. He and Tab get to bitching along the way.” The doctors came in and told him he could go home on Monday as there really was not much they could do. And he had been steadily improving to the point where he only needed therapy for his side. When he goes home Tab and he would have the beach day he had promised him when he first arrived. The guys cleared out for the night except for Tab who wanted to have a quiet conversation with him. “ Floyd how are you. Now the guys are gone you seem introspective and solemn. Was seeing them all too much for you?” Grant asked as he resisted the urge to wrap the other man in his arms. “ I do not know what to feel or think. It is a lot to take in and at the same time, I missed all of them more than I ever knew I would. Being around the four of them had me nostalgic for the times we were always together. Lieb and Malarkey were the two others I was closest to besides you. Seeing them today and falling back into our rhythm made me regret not keeping in contact with them. I thought cutting off contact with the war would help me cope but I fell into a deeper pit of not adjusting. I should have kept in contact with all of you instead of struggling and not wanting support. The memories I had weighed on of all I saw and did.” Tab said Grant’s heart broke for the man sitting next to him as he poured out his emotions. The more he revealed about the war affecting him Grant knew he could have lost Tab. Tab needed to get better and he felt it was happening here. There wasn’t much he could do if Floyd did not want help but he needed it now. “You are here now and the bridges with them are still fixable. Mal and Lieb would never cut you out of their lives. They were so happy to see you and Buck were too. We all struggled with the war some more than others. I am happy you are here and getting better. Being without you hurt me and we all were worried about you. You are important to me and to the company.” Grant said voice full of emotion. Floyd had a lot happened to him both at the tail end of the war and after it broke his heart. His heart hurt for his soulmate and how little he was able to help him after the war. Grant reached out and grasped his hand for a moment. The door had been closed and he wanted to establish contact. Tab’s hands were shaking and clammy. He rubbed his thumbs across the tops of his lover’s hands. Floyd threaded their fingers together and kissed his hand. It felt good to have this sparse contact even for a moment. Grant wanted to have Tab by his side during the night but that was too much. His sleeping habits had been disrupted without Tab and Tab told him the same. They kept their hands twined together and Tab gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. He returned the kiss and felt a bit of restless energy settle inside him. Tab settled his restlessness and balanced him out. Grant always felt at peace around Tab since the moment they ran into each other at Toccoa all those years ago. One last kiss and they separated not wanting to risk anything being exposed. Grant wanted to share his relationship with Tab as he was not ashamed of it. But that would never happen in his lifetime unless a miracle happened. They should not have to hide the fact they loved each other and would stand by each other no matter what. Monday came and the six of them were at Grant’s house enjoying a loud dinner with Buck made dinner and bought groceries along with Malarkey. Liebgott terrorized them with his driving. Lieb subtly giving them some time alone as he had told him Floyd had been so different when Grant was in the hospital. He knew they needed to reconnect and that would happen now they were home again. They could touch freely and be open with their feelings about the whole situation. He needed to feel something as he felt numb to it all at the moment. Even with Buck, Malarkey, and Liebgott did not help. Those three did brighten the mood and helped him to get better though. The fact they had come down for the week and wanted to help put a smile on his face. The beach trip would have to happen before they all went back home. Also, reunion planning would commence. It was about two months away and he felt all the nervous energy from it. Both the beach trip and the reunion were so important to him. They were milestones in his life and relationships. A step back into being part of Easy company. Both Luz and Guarnere had sent lengthy letters while he had been sick about how excited they were about the reunion. He could not wait to see how Toye and Wild bill were doing as their letters hinted at them doing better than expected. They were strong both mentally and physically so a faster recovery was not surprising. Tab clung to him with his arms around his waist burying his face in Grant’s neck. The position seemed to be Bob's favorite. Grant loved it and combed his fingers through the unusually unkempt hair. They centered themselves reconnecting after a long few weeks without touch. This was a place Grant could stay for an eternity with his love. Eventually, they separated and tried to clean the kitchen. Liebgott and Tab had done most of the tasks keeping the house clean. Sherman was excited to see him and now he had a tiny furry shadow. He had her perched on right shoulder letting her nuzzle his face whenever she wanted. He missed the calming effect she had on him and now he had her back. Liebgott had as he thought had spoiled her rotten. Sherman loved Lieb as much as she loved him. Tab she still did not know what to think of. The other two she could not decide on what she thought. Malarkey seemed to hold the favorites position of the two. Speaking of those two he could hear them complaining about Liebgott bad driving as they came in the front. Buck teasing him about the lawsuits he could get and Lieb getting all feisty. Malarkey looking on laughing at the two of them. Grant had to laugh at the fact Buck had thought Liebgott would be a better driver after the war. That was like saying malarkey could actually have cooking abilities one day. They made him sit down and just observe the chaos going on around him. Five people in his house meant so much chaos especially since they were all paratroopers. The paratroopers were never known for staying out of trouble, especially easy company. Grant wondered how Speirs and Winters did not have grey hairs by the end of the war. They could and did cause a lot of trouble especially at the end of the war. They all sat down around the table with chairs sticking out since there were too many people for the small table. Buck had made dinner for them all which was hamburgers and fries. Grant thanked god it was not too elaborate of a meal as he could not eat much still. He loved how much having them all around lightened the somber mood the house had over the last few weeks.They painted a domestic tableau as they passed around the food and laughing at little jabs they made at each other. Buck sat next to Malarkey, their friendship still steady. Lieb next to Tab, they were connecting again after years apart. Grant next to Tab and Malarkey, two of the people he was closest too.This would have been how he had wanted the postwar easy company to be like. Instead, they were fractured and splintered across the country. Some never heard from again since New York and it hurt to know that. Now the west coast guys were getting together more and more. Him being sick brought together with them together and he hated that but could not be happier they were here. Tab had stolen most of Liebgott fries and caused a commotion which had Buck getting onto them for it. Typical of the pair to start something with each other and get on each other's nerves. Mal and Buck had changed so much they were unrecognizable compared to the pre-war versions of themselves. Grant would rather have them they way they are now then not have them at all. They could have not made it like a lot of the other guys did and only have echoes of those guys around. All those who died were only memories now and as time went on hazy ones. Mal became pensive and quiet when one of them mention Skip in a story. Skip could never be avoided in most of the well known Easy company stories like the one were Luz tricked Sobel. Grant hated Skip being gone. Easy company would never be the same as they had lost the heart and soul of it. But they could continue to tell all his stories and keep his memory alive. Mal had talked to him about that and made sure they would honor him along with the others at the reunion. Not in a somber memorial but one of a celebration of their vibrant lives. After dinner was dessert and reunion talks. Buck and Mal were very happy to help them get it all put together while they were staying in San Fran. Buck voted himself in charge of food and Malarkey along with Lieb drinks. Tab, Grant, Luz, and Guarnere were in charge of the whole event. Tab stepping in to help when he got sick again and getting right back into the friendly banter with the other two. Guarnere being so excited Tab and Lieb had not become one of the lost ones. Seeing all of them would be so good for all of them. Buck laughing at Malarkey trying to take most of the booze off the list. Lieb getting grouchy with the choices of alcohol. Grant and Tab looking over the list making sure the list had been updated since a few more men had responded they were. Last minute replies had come in more and more. The list now around 20 people due to attend the reunion.The rest of the week passed much the same with all of them enjoying the company and bullshit they were doing. On the Saturday before Buck and Malark had to go back to their regular jobs the promised beach trip happened.Grant woke up with Tab wrapped around his arms around his waist. They had been reacquainting themselves with each other. Talking late into the night stopping to kiss and touch. He loved the faint tingles as Tab rubbed his hands down Grant’s left side. Still no feeling in it at all but for Tab he could feel tingles. No clue why but Tab always had a special touch with him.He poked Tab in the side and got a few grumbles in response as Tab rolled over back into the blankets. Grant stifled a laugh at Floyd’s displeasure with mornings. He did not want to leave either enjoying a moment with his love without interruptions. Soon he had to go feed Sherman and make coffee which would drag the other man from the blanket cocoon he had made. The sunlight streaming in through the thin curtains making Tab burrow in even more. Valiantly he tried not to laugh but seeing Tab so disgruntled with the morning had him shaking with silent laughter. Tab kicked his shin and tried to get him to not laugh. That only made him more amused. This morning and day were already shaping up to be good. He loved to see Tab so much brighter.Grant managed to detangled himself and get Sherman wrangled. She had gotten herself in the clothes bin and got stuck. Now asleep in his arms she had become calmer.The rest of the group was coming over soon so he had to get Tab out of the bed. Tab needed to hurry up and he was surprised at the fact he did not get up faster with how much he could not wait for the beach. Instead he a got sleepy and grumpy boyfriend. They hadn’t really talked about it much but he knew they were in for the long haul. After this trip today he would broach the subject over what they were. Tab he knew would be here for the long hall but he wanted to know in what capacity. He wanted it all with him, to grow old together, have a nice house, and have a few pets. The life they wanted during the war and now they could achieve.He got bagels and coffee made. Sherman getting all the food she could eat and pass out on her pile of blankets. The others would be arriving in about two hours and then they would be off on the road trip. Buck would be driving as no one wanted Liebgott to kill them with his driving. Malarkey had been almost as excited about the pier as Tab. Arms wrapped around his waist startled him a bit but he leaned into them. He felt secure and full of love. He could not get enough of it and he wanted more of these little moments. Ones of those moments he loved to have. It felt good to be home again and with him.Tab had spikey bed head and a baggy shirt on. It had been one of his shirts that Tab had stolen. He passed him a cup of coffee with his usual no cream but sugar added. They had fallen into a morning routine really quickly from the time Tab had appeared. It had not been a jarring transition from just him to have another person here. He loved having him here and he did not want it to ever change. This is what he wanted his future to like full of domestic moments. They deserved it having been through obstacles to get here. He felt so happy to have sleepy Tab in his kitchen. Especially with the upcoming beach trip later today and the fact he would tell Tab he wanted a permanent relationship. He could not wait to tell him what he wanted. Tab he felt was on the same page as him and the current health scare had sped their relationship up. He wanted to have him here for the rest of his life. Grant wanted to hold for long as he could. This beach trip would help with that. He could not wait for the guys to have a good time at the beach. Liebgott would cause so much trouble with the seagulls at the beach and Malarkey would be so done with Lieb. Tab and Lieb were usually shit stirrers in the company. He shooed Tab into the bathroom so he could get ready for the day. Tab took forever with the getting ready aspect. Grant did not understand it with the fact they were going to the pier and beach. Grant threw on an old button up and khaki shorts. He had no energy to get all dolled up. Leaning against the bathroom door he watched Tab go through his routine. Tab smiled at him and beckoned him over. His lover helped him button up his shirt and had him stay still to style his hair. It had become part of their morning routines. Not one to let others do his tasks for him but he could not get them done by himself anymore. He let Tab style his hair and fix his collar. Tab was full of his usual energy again and had not stopped talking about this trip. It had been planned during the war and they were finally checking off something on the list. Grant wanted to get as many pictures of today so he could remember everything. They got ready in time for Buck to pull up with his car. Malarkey and Tab were the most excited out of them all. Seeing the glimpse of their old personalities made him smile. Malarkey was smiling so much and his freckles stood out. Lieb too had a large smile on his face too. Grant felt light and full of excitement. This trip would be good for all of them. The pier and the amusement were not too crowded this early. Buck got a stranger to take a picture of the group. The group looked so calm and relaxed. Laughing and having a good time. He could compare this to the days on leave where they cut loose and made so many memories. This would be yet another memory he would have with Tab and some of his closest friends. Malarkey and Liebgott went straight for the coaster. Grant could not get on coasters so Tab and Buck went with him to the games like ring toss. They all were so accommodating and told him repeatedly how happy that he was here with them. He had cheated death twice and his friends were so happy he had joined them. They started a competition of who could get the most bottle in the ring toss. Buck to no one's surprise won the game. Tab looked at Grant as if to say why did we agree to this. They should have known better than to challenge Buck. He let Tab and Buck enjoy more contests while he watched. This all felt like a dream to him as did most of this life after the war. They wandered to the beach finally after they had worn themselves out at the carnival games. A row of beach towels was spread out and Mal parked himself under an umbrella. The Irishman and sun did not mix at all. The rest of them passed around the picnic lunch after a comment from Liebgott. Tab had packed a feast last night having finally grasped the concept of cooking. He ran the household during Grant’s hospital stay. Grant needed to do something to say thank you. Tab did not have to even do half of that but he did. He loved him even more for it and realized Tab was in it for the long haul. Right now he would not worry about the chores as he lounged next to Tab who had his aviators on. Lieb had gone out in the waves splashing about. Buck had a book and fallen asleep. Malarkey was in the same position. It seemed the large amounts of food got to them. Grant did not want to move as he just got comfortable. Tab looked adorable with his oversized hat and his wide smile as Malarkey cracked a joke. This had been a dream of his for when the war ended for all them to enjoy the freedoms they had all fought so hard for. Right now they were taking advantage of it and spending the day at the beach. He felt so happy to see them all so relaxed especially Malarkey and Lieb. Tab had not ventured out into the water claiming he needed to sleep. As usual, he had a bit of theatrics going even though he had been so excited for the beach. “Floyd, if I get into the water, will you go with me. This trip was mainly for you and yet you have fallen asleep on a towel the whole time.” Grant asked getting a look from Tab. Since you are bothering me yes I will. I was going to later but on your insistence, we both will try. Maybe even pull one on Malark and Lieb.” Tab said looking pleased to cause havoc on them. Grant as usual along for the ride with Tab’s pranks and mischief. Even with those habits, Tab had endeared himself to Grant right away. Years later he still could not help and smile at such an innocent statement. That part of Tab had not changed even after everything. He still had his theatrical moments and pranked people. Especially in a group dynamic, he fed off the energy of the other guys. The reunion with Tab and Smokey could descend into chaos. The pair had not seen each other since Bastogne which meant lost time for causing a ruckus. He loved to see Tab get excited about the reunion. The man got too excited for seeing the guys at the reunion and he could not wait to see all the guys. Tab caught up to Lieb and dunked him under the waves. Lieb stuttering and getting grumpy with him. He got dunked next and could not bring himself to get angry with his love. Grant knew he was having a good time today even if it meant getting dunked. Malarkey had ventured in after them. Looking much like a freckled tomato even with how much he had stayed out of the sun. The rest of the day went much the same. Grant and Tab went home after the guys were dropped off at their motels. He had butterflies in his stomach for what was ahead. Tab would say yes he knew. But he wanted to just curl up with Tab and sleep. This would change the way they lived together. At this moment they were in the middle of two. He wanted to be with his love for as long as they had time on this earth together. They had just gotten showered and in comfy clothes for the night. When he knew he had to tell Tab about his feelings. Tab looked adorable with his fluffy hair and an oversized shirt. He gave in to the impulse and gave him a quick peck on the lips. His lover smiled at him and had pink tinged cheeks. “Floyd I need to tell you something. Being in the hospital gave the realization I want you to be my boyfriend. Our life will not be easy and people will question why we live together. But all of those reasons won’t deter me. I want you if you want me the same way. I love you so much. Never telling you it till now is my biggest regret. You are the reason I got better after I had been shot. Living without you is a life I do not want and I need you ” Grant said. Floyd looked at him with tears in his eyes and grasped his hands. “ Chuck I want of all of that life too. I love you so much. Those few days after you being shot were the hardest days of my life. You do not remember it but every time we had alone I told you I loved you. Hoping, praying you would wake up. The second we ran into each other I knew you were going to center yourself in my life. We finally made it and I cannot imagine a life without you.” They spent the night and morning talking. Spilling memories and thoughts not uttered before. Wanting to tell everything about their lives apart and together. Tab filling in pieces missing from his memory. Falling asleep as the sun rose curled around each other with Sherman by their side.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Two months laterIn two days the reunion would kick off. It would be a week of shooting the shit, getting up to their old ways, and reminiscing. Grant currently had Toye, Luz, and Guarnere in his living room. The three arriving early to help the duo get everything set up. Seeing those two thriving gave him hope he would be in the same situation down the line. The three of them had not seen each other a surprise hospital visit from the two. Tab had given the men the hospital address. The pair had been the first to drop by after his love had left. All of them a stark reminder what the war had taken away. But now they didn't even bring up their disabilities. They had all accepted their situations and adapted. Luz and Tab had been by their sides through it all. Luz, he knew still had feelings for Toye and he hoped they worked their relationship out. Luz had confided in him seeing Toye so broken almost broke him. Tab went through the same feelings with Grant being shot. The four of them bonded over what could have happened. And Guarnere was their support and anchor. The other man letting him know he supported their relationship and would try to get Toye to talk about his feelings. He was a meddler but in a good way. Guarnere wanted all of them to have a happy life. No surprise he wanted to the reunion to go off without a hitch. Buck and Malarkey were already here and Liebgott swinging around later today. Getting him to come had been an ordeal but Lieb had relented after Toye had threatened to come to drag him here. Liebgott did not handle the post-war life well and Grant has been surprised when he got the phone call a few months before Tab dropped by. Now the two lost ones had all their brothers again. He settled into the armchair watching Luz recreate the scene were he tricked Sobel. Luz still proud of the cow incident and Tipper still did not regret tricking Sobel with the maps. Those were the days when all they had to worry about was getting a new CO. Seeing how everyone has changed and grown since the war was fascinating to him. Some he almost did not know like Malarkey and Buck. Others like Toye and Guarnere he had changed with bonding through letters and hospital stays. Liebgott guarded but still fiercely protective of his brothers. No matter the changes made to the personalities they were all still brothers. Seeing just the small groups that came over made him nostalgic for these nights in England. Those were the nights all the stories revolved around.
Luz had finished the story and Toye looked at him fondly. Guarnere started a story about his wife, Frannie. He had missed the wedding and he regretted that. Frannie would be joining them later and along with a few other of the wives. Guarnere having kids was an alarming thought. If they turned out anything like him they would be in for lots of trouble making. Luz let out a started noise as Sherman appeared and jumped into his lap. Tab cracked up at the response. Sherman did know how to make an appearance. He swore he had warned everyone about his cat.
“Chuck, I didn’t even know you had a cat. I thought you would have told me that.” Luz faked betrayal. “I did tell you or so I thought. She does not usually come out when there are people over. Liebgott gave her to me.” Grant explained. It was Guarnere turn to look perplexed. Liebgott and cats seemed to be a thought they could not fathom. “ Liebgott gave you a cat. Chuck, not what I expected for the story of how you got a cat. I would have thought you would have rescued it.” “Liebgott rescued her and brought her over to me. I was not feeling well and being alone did not help. He thought she would be a help and he was right. Sherman made my life brighter since I got her.” Grant explained.
“ I can see that. She is a tiny shadow and good for you. Luz here seems to like her a lot.” Guarnere commented. Tab laughed the cat annoyed him between his and Luz’s lap. She was enthralled with all the new people she had not met. She had become social because of Tab. Being around Tab seemed to be the boost she needed to trust people besides Grant and Liebgott. Tab being here permanently had turned his whole life upside down. He had been the catalyst to the reunion bringing more people in along with Liebgott. Both of them coming back into Grant’s life sparked a larger group of men coming to California than originally planned. Guarnere could not contain his excitement at all the new men who decided to make the trip. Luz and Guarnere were in last minute planning mode with the new additions. Toye sitting quietly and avoiding most of the conversation. Mostly absorbing everything said. Looking at Luz with a fond look as he cuddled with the cat. Guarnere and Tab talking about the safe subject of their jobs. Tab and Luz getting smothered in cat hair by the hyper kitten.“Floyd, you serious about going back to college. The state better watch out and maybe you could help Chuck here with the shop.” Guarnere said with an encouraging tone.“ I am, Chuck is helping me figure out what college to go to and I want to get a degree in management. It is the right step forward for me.” Tab explained pride in his voice. “Well damn, I am proud of you. You have to keep us all up to date on how school is progressing. Hell, most of the company it seems is going to college. The smartest damn company in the airborne for sure.” Guarnere said.“ Of course we are the smartest company in the airborne. We had Winters, Nixon, and the best damn NCOs. All of them helped get the company out of some tight situations during the war. Hopefully, that applies to the reunion too. There is no question we will get up to some shenanigans.” Luz said.No one could disagree with the fact they would raise all sorts of hell. He could not participate in any of the activities with alcohol. But he could help to get them from one place to another. And of course, enjoy the food at diners close to the bars. The boys would be giving the bars their weekend revenue.The upcoming event gave him extra energy to get everything done before all of the company descended upon his house and the town. Luz, Toye, and Guarnere were staying at his already cramped house. He would be getting no sleep at all in the next week with all of them and Tab. Plus the last minute additions of Babe and Doc staying at his house.“Chuck, you alright. You seem a bit tired. I know you just got out of the hospital a month ago. The train ride here got me too.” Toye asked shifting closer to him.“ I am very tired at the moment. If you need anything, Joe, just let me know.” Chuck told him. “ Have not had much sleep either especially on the train. Those two can tell you all about it. Hospitals mess with you and you will get back to where you were.” Toye told him.Guarnere and Luz nodded. Both looking concerned about Toye much like how Tab and Liebgott got after him. He thanked God everyone who was injured had a strong support system to help them through the hard times.
“I told him to take a nap before we got here. But the stubborn bastard would not listen. You are going to be the first to fall asleep among us all.” Luz jokes. Luz was another mama hen in the company. A lesser known one but he always had a joke or story to help keep morale up. Even now with Toye, he made sure he was there when he needed it. Those two were soulmates just like him and Tab. They had all formed deep bonds with each other. Some deeper than others and those pairs would there for each other no matter what. “ Well, it will be a tie then. I can barely stay awake past nine. You can ask Lieb or Tab that. Neither of them ever want to go on the town with me.” Grant said. Tab choked on his coffee as he laughed. That was the constant complaint from Lieb because he loved to go out. Lieb had become somewhat social in the last year. Tab and he had become close again. The pair spending lots of time together while Grant was in the hospital or work. It made him happy to see two of the people he cared most healing from the emotional scars. A knock on the door announced Liebgott’s arrival and the living room got quiet. Guarnere unusually antsy. Grant went to open the door and ushered Lieb in. He looked nervous and pale as he walked in. This would be a huge moment for all of them. Lieb leaned against him looking worn out. This had been a huge worrying point for him. Toye broke the ice by giving Lieb a one-armed hug. He had not expected Toye to be the first one to respond. But he was so relieved as Luz wrapping Lieb in a hug. Chattering about everything he had missed. No one held anything against him and they were happy to finally know he was okay. Grant let out a breath he forgot he was holding in. Now he could get lunch and not have awkward silence there. Liebgott observing everything the guys were telling him. Luz talking the most with Guarnere interjecting stuff that George had missed. Tab and Toye helping him getting the food ready for lunch. He did want to hear them bitching if the food was not ready just yet. Thank god Malark had not shown up or there would the usual jab at his bad cooking. The poor guy could not catch a break on the cooking jokes. He had prepared hot roast beef sandwiches and piles of fries. Enough to feed all of them with seconds. Lieb stuck close to Tab and Toye. Not talking much just looking at Luz stealing Guarnere food without regards to the death glare he was getting. “Luz get your hands off my food. You need to get more of your own fries. There is more than enough for us all. Even with how much Tab, Toye and I eat there is still enough.” Guarnere griped.
“Well, your plate happened to be closer to me than the bowl \. You can always grab more since you are closer.” Luz snarked. Toye laughed as Guarnere looked like he had choice words to say about that. But no one could stay mad at Luz. He had a playful part of his personality and he liked to play off of Guarnere being gruff. Luz played off each of their personalities and moods. He could brighten any room he walked into and helped to keep the mood up during the war. Guarnere grabbed the plate and got it to where Luz could not get them. And they were back to old times again. Luz and Guarnere egging each other on. Lieb and Guarnere were both hot-tempered at times but had gotten along better as the war went on. “Tab you keeping Grant and Lieb in line here?” Toye asked. “As if I could do that. Those two are hard to keep up with at times. We went to the docks and I almost lost both of them. Both of them stress me out but I am glad I made the decision to move down here. Even if I did not let Grant know before I dropped by.” Tab said. “You did not give him a warning that I did not know. Luz has done that before and it came as a surprise. Tab you never struck me as someone who would arrive unannounced.” Toye said. “ I made a rare impulse decision and went to San Fran. I wanted to know if I had fucked up our friendship with my questionable choices.” Tab said. “ I obviously did not but I had to know and moving here was a great idea.”
“It seems to have helped you a lot. You two have helped each other out. I can already tell from the few hours I have been here.” Guarnere having his usual insight. Liebgott spoke up having been uncharacteristically quiet. “ Tab coming here seemed to be a miracle in disguise. He has really helped Grant when I could not get here to help. Seeing those two back in the same place again feels right.” That caught Guarnere attention. It seemed this lunch would be catching up on what Tab and Lieb had done while out of contact with them all and how they had helped him. He would always be grateful for what they had done. Never had he asked for it but they always came through. Having both of them during his last relapse helped more than he could ever say. “Lieb, I have to tell you. I am relieved to see you here. I was not sure you would show up here and if you had not I would not have held that against you.” Guarnere told him. Guarnere wanted to make sure all of them were doing well after the war. No one reacted the same after the war. Despite his injury, he still made sure all of them were getting situated. He felt some of the tension bleed out of the air with what he had told Lieb. He had emphasized over and over again to Lieb there would be no judgment from anyone here. Everyone supported each other even when the others would not admit to needing it. “I almost did not come to the reunion. The worry was with the memories coming back seeing all of you again. But I know I am strong enough to handle the memories and I did miss of all you.” Liebgott broke the silence. “Well, Lieb you got me all sentimental now. It is nice to see you again even though I recall annoying the shit out of you on the ship home.” Luz said. Liebgott cracked a smile and started laughing. “ I thought one of us was going to kill you. You had pent-up energy on the way home. Tab and I were at wit's end at a few moments. You three missed some pranks and a lot of chaos. Doc Roe even went off on Perco and Luz. Ask him about that and have Babe fill you in.” Toye and Grant looked at each other shaking their heads. They had to fix many of Luz’s pranks and had the unfortunate event of being a bystander to Doc going off on a stupid replacement. Luz and Perco must have done something really dumb for Doc to go off.The group migrated to the front porch all of them enjoying the evening. Guarnere and Toye were not at ease with the long journey. Both were struggling with the leg injuries and Grant with the numbness attached to the newest relapse. But the afternoon breeze and the company eased the pain. Lieb and Luz were doing a full catch up with their lives with Tab being pulled into the conversation too. He had not seen Tab and Liebgott full of life in a long time. Being around all of the guys and at first, just him did wonder for their confidence. He could not keep the smile off his face as he watched the trio catch up. Guarnere and Toye have fallen asleep watching the sunset. He felt tired listening to the conversations going on. All of three had so little energy compared to the other trio. Being lethargic had been part of his recovery. The other two had a long train ride which had been hard on them. They all looked young again laughing and enjoying the company. None of them looked their age and there were rare moments they actually did. Especially now with Tab and Liebgott dying of laughter when Luz got super into a story about his work buddies.Grant nodded off midway into the story. His body not being able to handle all the energy he had exerted today trying to keep up with the guys again. Looking back he still could not comprehend how he kept up with them during the war. The thought had crossed his mind many times especially now with the reunion in full swing.He would need all the strength he could muster to keep up with them this week. They could get rowdy at times. Grant awoke to a surprisingly quiet porch with the guys having brought out a game of poker. That could get loud if it escalated and money got involved. It looked like it would not be going to be that way.Tab got him to join in and he ended up next to Toye. Who would clear him out of the money put into the pot? He regretted sitting next to Toye during poker games since he never won any of them. Grant scooted closer to Liebgott who always had a mixed bag when playing poker. Grant ended up winning the next round much to Guarnere anger. He had put some money and a free lunch for all of them.They went a few more rounds before the sun started to set casting shadows on the pastel houses. All of them were staying in his tiny house and he was not exactly sure how this would work out. Luz and Liebgott had the living room while Toye and Guarnere took the large guest bed that Tab had been using. Grant and Tab would be sharing his room.He hoped it would not raise suspicion with Guarnere and Toye. Those two were the only two out of the group who did not have an inkling about their relationship. Luz had discovered it by accident but ended up being a huge supporter of their relation. He had a relationship problem of his own with Toye. They were a will they or will they not get together relationship.Luz wanted to talk to him when they had a moment alone. He wanted to finally see where and how he could get with Toye. Grant wanted them to get together knowing how much the pair cared for each other. During the war, he could see the signs of a budding intimate relationship. The war ripping them apart and now they had another chance. Wishing for the best for them and hoping they would get together.“Floyd, how are you? I know that was a lot to take in today.” Grant asked him as Tab enveloped him in a hug. He knew he was dealing with a lot of emotions. Even if he did deny it he could always see right through the walls he put up. “ Chuck, I feel so overwhelmed. On one hand, I am elated to see them again. The other is guilt about how I worried them all so much with just vanishing. Lieb I know feels the same way and he regrets vanishing.” And there was the guilt Tab talked about consistently. Chuck had told him time and time again. There was no reason to feel guilty Tab had done what was the best for him at the time. He gave Tab a kiss and held him as he cried. Finally letting out all the emotions he had internalized for so long. Tab could finally start the healing process he had wanted to start and had mentioned so much over the few months since his arrival.
He rubbed Tab’s back trying to calm him down as he shook with emotions. Tab had held in a lot of feelings. Grant felt tears falling too letting himself be vulnerable for his lover. He had held in his emotions too not wanting to overwhelm Tab. Both of them had revealed half-truths about how they truly felt. Now in a quiet room with just each other, they were finally able to settle some of their emotions. Tab had fallen asleep leaning against him and let him just rest for a moment. Seeing him so vulnerable made him hurt. Tab never let down all his walls and to see him completely bare of all of them had him tearing up again. Tab trusted him fully and they had become inseparable since he had come back from the hospital.Tab was semi-conscious and he nuzzled Grant’s neck. The sleepy version of Tab also happened to be clingy and affectionate. He would take it and take care of him for as long as he could. He helped Tab get to bed and he passed out as soon as he got most of the blankets. Grant could not sleep as mind would not quiet down. His mind wandered back to the start of their relationship. Grant bumbling around Camp Toccoa and running into Tab. Then they had become inseparable. Their relationship morphing into more as the years went on. Every day since Tab had arrived in his life again he could not believe this was his reality. Sleep got him in the early hours of the morning. Sherman coming into snuggle a little while later. His morning came suddenly when a few thunks could be heard from the kitchen. It was either Guarnere or Toye since they were never quiet when he had bunked with them. Grant tucked the blankets around Tab and went out to see what they were up to. He was right and he hoped they did not wake up the rest of the guys camping out in his house. They were attempting to make dinner and feed the angry cat. Both had really bad bedhead and were rummaging for the coffee canister. Grant greatest them and got the coffee from its spot. “ Sorry, we woke you up. Both of us could not find the coffee and I hope we did not wake up the rest of them up. Lieb especially is not a morning person.” Guarnere said. “I am a light sleeper now so this is what time I usually wake up at. And please do not wake up Lieb. You both know how he is in the morning.” Grant told them. Both shook their heads at that. Everyone knew there were certain guys who you did not mess with in the mornings. Coffee helped smooth out tempers and morning grumpiness. Grant made sure to make a large pot of it to start off. The other two making a large breakfast. Having three people helped the morning get better. “ Grant I know it is not any of my business. But you and Tab have the same type of relationship as me and Luz. Guarnere knows so do not be worried. But are you both more than friends and how did you get there. I asked Luz and he said Tab had told him about you guys.”Toye dropped the grenade he had been hoping to avoid. Tab and him had a long conversation before the guys had started filtering in. They were okay talking about it to this small group. The less who knew the better but he could trust these men. And Toye was one perceptive man so it took him by surprise at the fact he had not noticed till now. “We were during the war and are now. It faded after I was shot and we lost contact a few months after he visited me. Then contact again and then none for so long. I did not know what I could do since there is no way I can travel. None of the guys had heard from him and if he had not shown up I had booked my tickets to Kokomo. I needed to see if he was okay and what we were. He came here and he helped me. Now we are together again for good.” Grant explained shortening his story. “Well damn, it Luz was right. He thought you two were something more than just friends. Luz knows already I can tell by your expression. I thought there might have been based off Tab’s reaction to you getting shot.” Guarnere remarked looking irritated he missed the signs. “ Tab told me he got very emotional after what happened and he stayed with me till they got me taken off the front. Not sure I’d want to know anything else since my memory is patchy.” Grant explained. “ I cannot blame you for it. Luz told me everything about what happened after me and Guarnere were pulled off the line. I had to know but it was painful to know all the events that followed.” Toye said. A sober silence set over the kitchen as they finally approached the elephant in the room with a bang. The three of knew too well they could have been among the men who had not returned. They would honor those who had not returned at the reunion and tell stories. The thought of why me and not the others came up too. All three of them had survivor’s guilt. Which came up in conversations like these. “This is a bit somber for the morning,” Luz remarked as he walked in looking barely awake. As usual, he could defuse any tension. “Georgie you knew it would come up eventually. The reunion is going to hard without them and it would do them an injustice forgetting them.” Toye said “Don’t I know it. There are holes where they once were and I’ll make sure to tell all the good stories. How are you three doing none of you look good. Let me finish breakfast.” Luz said. And there was Luz looking out for all of them. It was never obvious during the war but he did his best especially as a supply NCO to get them what they needed. He shooed them into the dining room and went to finish breakfast. He knew they were all tired, physically and emotionally. This talk has broached a few subjects which were painful to talk about. The smell of pancakes woke up Lieb and Tab who stumbled in still in their pajamas. Both looked half asleep and Grant passed them cups of coffee. Liebgott clutched it as a lifeline and Tab leaned against the table for support. Those two could be a little dramatic without coffee. Luz got the breakfast on the table with some help from Tab who had woken up enough to help. It was not as rowdy as the breakfasts usually were. Lieb and Guarnere ate the most Tab and Toye close behind. Grant did not know what to do with all the food so he ate more than usual. Comfort food always seemed to help him get himself through emotions like the elephant just addressed. Buck, Malarkey, Alley, More, Martin, and Bull arrived at his house a few hours later as they set about last minute planning. All of them happy to see Lieb and Tab involved in the planning. Martin gave both of them his patented disappointed face as he told them to stay in contact more often. Both looked chastised after the look was pinned on them. “ You two worried Guarnere and Grant to death. Both of you should have let us know that everything was fine. The whole company worries too when we did not hear anything.” Martin did not hesitate to give them a lecture. All of them did not even blink in surprise at the lecture. He had summed up everything they had wanted to say. No matter where they were in the country or what they were going through they would always have each other's backs. The company had become family and not hearing from a few of the men had worried all of them. “Pee Wee is right. At least we know you were taking care of Grant. We all were worried about you but knew you would be fine.” Guarnere said. For most of the guys, it was the first time they had seen Grant since the night in Austria which felt like a lifetime ago. They did not press him about the latest relapse but all gave him encouraging words and their support. They knew he would talk when ready and that was fine. He could never thank them enough for what the letters and encouraging words went to him. His house was packed with men who he served with and would always be by their side. Their motto of we stand alone together was alive and well with how close they still were. A bunch of men who came from different walks of life but had become so close. Lieb and Alley had claimed the throw rug excited to catch up on all they had missed. Those two were close and Alley had voiced his hopes Lieb would show. Alley looked so happy to see Lieb doing better. Grant had kept him up to date as Lieb would only let Alley know where he was. Seeing those two not affected by the distance made the weight on his shoulders less. Guarnere and he had both fretted about how the company would be together again. But seeing everyone it looked like no time had passed since they last saw each other. They had fallen back into their old jokes and rapport. “Tab can you pass me the tray of food and do not let Luz get near it,” Martin grumbled. Luz looked like he was about to retort but Toye gave him a look and he settled down. No one wanted Martin’s look of death pinned on them. It was like a dressing down and getting shamed by your mama all in one look. His house was covered in food trays as all of the arriving men had stopped by. Martin and Bull had just gotten there. Both of them traveling together as they always did. Bull hated to travel so Martin went to Arkansas to get him here.
He laughed as Bull and Toye gave Luz all sorts of hell for the darts incident where Luz conned Toye out of two packs of cigarettes. Luz knew what he was doing with the trick no one catching on till the end of the poker tournament. Babe would get a good lecture for that as they had pulled on the replacement who had become a large part of the company.More sat with Malarkey, Tab, and Buck near him. They had pulled together the old chairs Grant had found in the basement of the shop. Lieb could not fit any of the guys in his tiny apartment but he would be housing a few of them during the almost week-long reunion event. The hotel did not have enough rooms as they had been getting more men to attend. Grant and Lieb ended up having many guests in their small houses. Most of the guys were double bunking in the hotel where the reunion is.“More you still have those photo albums? Better not let that out with Speirs attending cause of Lip.” Tab teased his friend.More choked on his coffee and tried not to laugh. Speirs had searched high and low for those but More managed to get them back to America. Bill, Buck, and Toye looked confused while the rest of the guys were cracking up trying to catch their breath. Speirs had looked for them and Winters hid them in a jeep for More.He explained the story to the men who had no clue what happened. “ I found these photo albums in the Eagle's nest and Speirs wanted them too. He swore I took them and Winters helped me hide them since more people had started looking for them Speirs still tried to find them and I ended up getting them home to Wyoming.” Guarnere looked like a proud parent at the story and Toye shook his head. Grant stifled a laugh because Guarnere would be proud of the story. It was something he would have pulled off if he was in the same situation. The times in Germany and Austria had been chaos at best. Not much to do and booze had caused the guys to do things to relieve boredom. That included looting and chasing the local ladies in Austria. These were the stories they would always tell and laugh over. Those times were the ones which had very little bad times associated with.Austria had been a place they all needed. Grant hated he missed the later parts of it as they were all slowly sent home in groups. They had gotten to those stories and he just listened. He had been in the dark as he could not read the letters being sent his way. The stories it seemed had been a mix of drills and moments of boredom.
“Malark, you got lucky and got sent to Paris. We got stuck trying to wait it out and worked on drills with Speirs.” Alley complained.“Paris was nice let me say that but I do not think I would go back. It felt weird not being with all of the guys towards the end of the war. Did I miss the PT sure as hell not but I felt isolated at times.” Malarkey said.“You are stuck with us now,” Guarnere told him.They all laughed and knew it was true. These were their brothers for the rest of their lives. Even if they were spread across the country and had hard times getting letters across. He felt whole again seeing his home full of his brothers catching up on life and rehashing favorite stories. Tab moved closer to him sensing he was getting worn down from everything going on. He got him some water and a small snack to help him get through to the large dinner.A good number of the men would be getting in tonight so they had reserved a big table at a local restaurant. The rest of them were arriving the next day at various times. Tomorrow would be a hectic schedule for all of them but worth seeing all of them arriving at the train station. Some of them going on a bar crawl tomorrow night before the big reunion.That would be the night he stayed out of the way letting them let loose. The restaurant was within walking distance so they headed out into the cool weather. Keeping the stories rolling as the walked. Tab and Lieb not leaving his side. He hated feeling tired and barely able to keep up. In his mind, he knew he had been too hard on himself as he had been steadily progressing. If the reunion was earlier he would never have made it. Two months gave him some strength to keep going.This had kept him going seeing the men he had fought with and who helped him with a dark time. Seeing them alive and full of energy. They made a lively bunch as the walked down past the old Victorian houses. Most of them had never been to San Fran and Lieb pointed out interesting buildings as they went along. Lieb had fit right back into the group even with the gap of time. All the situations he worried about had not happened at all. Tab had reassured him time and time again nothing bad would happen concerning Lieb. He had second-guessed everything concerning the reunion. It felt as if the past was trying to drag him back into his self-doubts. Pushing past those and watching Lieb entertaining the guys and having a great time. Lieb had expressed his doubts too and Tab had helped him through it as well. Tab would always be a rock for the two of them. Two missings pieces to the company had come back into his life at just the right time. The company felt whole again. The large group arrived to see another large group of guys there too. Perco, Spina, Babe, Roe, Smokey, and Lipton. Grant, Lieb, and Tab all got swarmed with hugs from the new group. Lipton smiling widely at seeing them again and all in good health. Winters and a few other of the officers including Nix and Welshie would be arriving the day od the reunion. They had to make an entrance. They took up the back of the restaurant which was full of pushed together tables. Some of the guys ordered beers and plates of appetizers. This group of guys could put away heaps of food. The bill for this could get pricey and large but they were going to add more stories. He ended up sitting next to Doc Roe who as usual sat and observed them all. He had not seen them in two years like a lot of the guys. He would make sure to talk to him later and settle things between them. No bad blood but heavy history. Grant knew he would not be here without Roe and Speirs. Speirs, he probably would never see again but Roe was here. There were no words to how much he was grateful for everything they had done to keep him alive. Babe sat on the other side of him excitedly talking about his current job in Philly. He already had heard about this in a current letter but he still listened and enjoyed listening to him. The other man was easily excited and Grant missed his constant chatter. Babe had fast become one of his closest friends. He had been folded into the group ever since Guarnere had taken him under his wing.Most of the conversations revolved around what they were doing now they were in peacetime. A few weddings were coming up which meant more reunions. Those got instant invites for all of easy co. That made Guarnere even more excited he was definitely the planner of the group. Most of the guys would not even be here without him urging them to make the trek to the West Coast.The night surprisingly went off without a hitch same with the group photo. They took two of those. One very serious and the other relaxed. Tab stood next to him silently reassuring him everything would be calm. He had been getting anxious as the night went on. Grant could barely keep his eyes open as Lieb drove a few of them home. There were two extra guests in his already cramped house. Babe and Roe needed a place to stay till tomorrow when their hotel room would be ready.He thanked the lord he had sent Guarnere out for more food this morning. The last thing they needed would be running out of food. Tab got him to bed and went to join the others in the living room. Grant hated not being up for the conversations but he was bone weary.Sleep did not come easily to him and he tossed around. Sherman confused as to why he could not find peace in sleep. Not having Tab next to him did not help his restless mind. He could hear the chattering from the living room and felt an urge to get up to join them. But he knew he needed the rest his body would not get tonight. Grant was also in pain with his left side cramping as he tried to adjust to the blankets.He had grown accustomed to sharing. Now he had to work with an empty space for another week. Finally close to the waking hours of the morning he finally found some semblance of peace. Grant woke up to a racket of noise coming from the kitchen and dining room. It seemed he had slept in later than normal. The rooms overflowing with the guys still in pajamas. Luz and Tab had taken over breakfast with Roe and Guarnere supervising. A few of them had to go get more food for the meal and later meals.The reunion started in the afternoon as the rest of them trickled in from all across the country. Everyone bustling with excitement as they moved around making pancakes and biscuits. Roe had gotten in on the biscuit making with an old family recipe. It all smelled amazing and he could not wait for the meal. “Morning sleepy head. Cannot believe you slept through this loudness of breakfast making. It got a bit chaotic when we realized we were undersupplied for the meal.” Guarnere took a jab at his ability to sleep. He almost dropped the coffee handed to him. Guarnere could get extra feisty in the morning. Same with Toye, Lieb, and Babe. The Philly guys could get a bit testy especially before coffee. Doc got Babe calmed down a bit and Luz gave the rest his best stink eye. Finally, everyone settled down as Malarkey, Lipton, Perco, and Buck came over with Liebgott. Grant shook his head at how many people could fit in his house. Alley and More as well were here. The breakfast plates passed around and everyone sitting on chairs, the floor, and stools. Plates were jostled and Lipton had to get a few of them in order with the look. Luz and Spina had got into a squabble about eggs. “Will you two settle down there is enough to go around and I am sure we can make more,” Lipton said. Grant had ended up next to him and he knew the questions would be coming. Lipton could tell right away he was not doing well. He tried to hide it but last night had put all his cards out on the table. Dealing with the guys had given him some energy to get him through the day. He had to keep up with all the stuff they had to do. The kitchen emptied as the guys vied for the bathroom. That left him and Lipton to do the dishes as they listened to the loud negotiations over who could get ready next. The guys who had stayed with Lieb were already ready but still decided to bother the others. It felt like basic training all over again with everyone vying for time before weekend passes took effect. “Chuck, you doing all right?” Lipton asked as they tackled the mess in the kitchen. “ I am doing alright. This cramped quarters situation has me reminded of Toccoa around the weekend pass. Absolute chaos and a lot of bickering.” Grant replied. Lipton laughed as he heard Guarnere annoy Babe about taking too long. “Glad you are doing okay and this is very nostalgic.” Finally, they got the whole group of guys out the door and in a few cars. They were going to meet at the hotel where the other guys were staying. It had officially begun as there was a large crowd of guys in front chatting. He saw Winters and Welsh chatting by the front entrance. It did not look like Speirs or Nixon had made it here. He was enveloped in hugs from different men letting him feel again. It felt like coming home to a family he had missed. Grant held back tears as he felt at peace again. Tab and Lieb as well were enveloped in a hug. Everyone excited to see them. Winters even gave them a hug looking very happy to see them. They filed into the hotel lobby chatting loudly with each other as more men arrived. It seemed almost half of the company had shown up for the reunion. Notable absences were from Speirs, Nixon, Foley, Shames. Most of the officers not able to make it. The big room in the back had been reserved for them for the week. They all went in excited for food and conversations. Spina next to him talking about his new job and Roe on the other side listening to the pair. Roe and he had a long talk the night before about Austria. They both knew how it affected their lives and would connect them forever. Grant had helped him get over his guilt of not doing enough as he knew Roe had done more than enough to get him home alive. He vowed to spend more time with Roe getting to know the medic who gotten them out alive.It made him happy to see everyone moving forward and healing. Each and every one of them here striving to use the second chance in life given. They had seen the horrors of war and seen the deaths of many friends. Now outside of war, they could explore a life so hard fought for. The post-war careers all different but they were all thriving in them. He looked at each of the men here thanking God they had survived. All of them full of energy and life. Tab next to him and Lieb on the other side. Buck and Malarkey on the side talking. The others the same as they all ate the food provided. Grant could not believe he was here to see them together in peacetime. There were noticeable absentees like Skip, Penkala, Hoobler, Van Klinken, and Dukeman who had never made it home. Of course, they paid tributes to them at the reunion all telling stories about them. But they were here still keeping the ties strongly forged during the war. Grant happy to see this and the week ahead. Even with how much they would be doing and how much fun times they would have. They would continue this tradition for decades meeting every few years.. All watching each other growing older and becoming who they needed to be. Grant had Tab by his side for all of this and having him here could only have been out of his dreams. Each and everyone one of them had strong ties with each other. Leaning on each other to get through the hard times.