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Pidge does not realize
What her obliviousness does
To two love-sick boys
Who know no better than she
What ‘love’ actually is.
Lance and Keith fight,
Like children tugging on a shared favorite toy
Though they know not
The true reason.
And so, the object changes with the day:
Chore lists,
Training activities,
Movie night.
Though it’s always really Her.
Pidge thinks nothing of it.
She is focused.
She has goals.
Her family, her duty,
Where does her heart fit in?
She thinks it does not;
There is an extra puzzle piece
in the bottom of the box.
And so,
when Lance gives her a bunch of flowers
From a mission that finally went right
She does not savor them
Does not hold their stems
Wishing to feel the gentleness he picked them with.
She sticks one behind her ear,
And leaves the others on her desk
To wilt and die.
And so,
when Keith leaves hand-made knives
And pelts of alien creatures on the stoop of her door
She does not hold them
Does not brush her hands across their hilts
Wishing to feel the passion he made them wth.
She piles the pelts in the corner,
And leaves the knives in her drawer
To sit unused.
She thinks nothing of it
To have two willing volunteers
Everytime she asks,
Even though neither has even a passing interest
In the mechanics of the Lions.
She thinks nothing of it
To have two pairs of open arms
When the stress eats her ambition,
Leaving nothing but the scared little girl
She was before,
Behind.
She thinks nothing of it
The first time she catches them kissing
In the elevator going down to the pool.
Why should she
When they spend so much time together
Fighting?
All hate is just another form of love,
She thinks,
But why then,
Does my chest hurt at the sight?
Pidge can name many things
That come in three’s:
The RGB color model
Waves
Parts to an atom
But never people
Never love.
People,
She reasons,
Are like magnets:
North and south pole
Nothing more.
She does not consider it,
Until it happens.
Pidge is crying
Because Matt’s rebel base of operations
Has lost contact
And she always cries when she thinks he is dead.
Lance sees her
Lance holds her
And suddenly, she is forgetting
That he has a boyfriend
And that she does not have room for this
In the crowded place
That is her heart.
They kiss;
They keep kissing.
Lance’s hand is up her shirt
Pidge is in his lap
and Keith is standing in the doorway.
They pull apart
But only she is blushing
Only she is ready to cry again.
Keith shakes his head,
And holds her hand.
No,
He says quietly, gently.
It is not wrong.
Suddenly she has her data,
Everything is clear to her,
And she feels stupid.
This is love?
She asks, and they do not know
How to answer.
It is something.
Lance tells her.
And it is better than being alone.