Work Text
“It’s cold.”
“It’s dark.”
“Where is everyone?”
“I’m lonely.”
“I’m alone.”
“Alone…”
Karamatsu couldn’t remember for how long he had been surrounded by this darkness. He couldn’t hear a thing. Couldn’t see a thing. Couldn’t feel a thing…
He thinks that this place is cold. He can’t really think or feel much anymore but the word cold comes to mind when trying to describe this place. Lonely, too. He hasn’t seen a single person or creature since he gained consciousness. How long ago was that? A few seconds? Days? Weeks? Months? Years..?
A shudder rushed through him, one of the few things that he’s felt since he got here. Is this a good sign? That he’s starting to feel more? But this doesn’t feel good to him. The words “bad” and “wrong” flood through his mind. Bad. Wong.
Wrong wrong wrong wro-
This is wrong. This is all wrong. Why is he here? Why is it cold? He doesn’t think he’s used to cold. He wants to be warm. Where is the warmth of the sunshine? Where is the sound of the music of his guitar? Where is the red, green, purple, yellow, and pink that constantly surround him?
Red, green, purple, yellow, pink?
What was that? Why did those specific colours come to his mind? Were they important to him? Why not colours like orange or brown or blue-
Blue. He felt a strong tug in his chest. Another feeling. Is this a good one or a bad one? Karamatsu hopes that it’s good, he’s tired of all these bad feelings. But what was blue? Was that him? Was he blue? Karamatsu thinks about it for awhile (at least he thinks it’s awhile) before deciding that he is blue; it feels right after all and fills him with a good feeling. Yes, Karamatsu is blue. He is certain of this. He wonders if blue can fit in with those other colours from before. They gave him such warm, nice feelings; Karamatsu thinks that it would be nice if he could be part of those nice feelings…
Another shudder ripples through him. His chest hurts. Hurts? Maybe that’s the wrong word. Numb? Aching? No, those aren’t right either..
Empty?
Yes, empty.
Empty. He feels empty. Why does blue being part of those colours make him feel empty? What was wrong with it? Both made him feel warm and nice but when put together..
Ah, he feels that emptiness in his chest again. When will it go away? Was it because he tried to join them? Was he not allowed? Was there something wrong with Karamatsu that he doesn’t fit in? Karamatsu thinks that if he was able to right now he would cry, but he can’t. Why can’t he? Karamatsu thinks that there’s no more tears left..why are there no more tears left? Was he crying before? What has he sad about? All of this is confusing him. He can’t understand what’s happening. First he’s left alone in this dark place and when he was finally starting to feel nice again, all he was left with was this empty feeling. It’s so painful..
Painful?
“Ow ow ow my ribs are breaking! So painful!”
“Ugh what’s with those painful lines?”
“Shut up Shittymtsu. No one wants to listen to your painful shit.”
“Hahaha your lines are so painful nii-san! It hurts!”
“Leave me alone Painfulmatsu.”
…
What were those voices? Memories? Is that what’s wrong with him? He’s painful? Is that why he can’t fit in? All he wants is to be with them but he can’t. He’s too shitty, too stupid, too
p a i n f u l
.
Oh. Karamatsu thinks that he figured it out now. He’s too painful. That’s why he can’t be with them, because he brings them pain. Thinking of them makes him feel warm and nice but he doesn’t think that feeling is reciprocated. That must be it. They don’t want him. That’s why it hurts. That’s why it feels empty. He wants them but he doesn’t belong. He doesn’t fit in with them. They don’t need blue…
“Karamatsu.”
Karamatsu lifts his head. He had curled up into himself when the feelings started getting really bad, but now he thinks that he heard a voice. It sounded like a child. A girl. The voice was high pitched yet soothing. It was soft and musical, and it filled Karamatsu with a warm feeling. Is someone else here? Is he finally not alone anymore?
“Karamatsu.”
His head turns in every direction, trying to find the source of that voice. However, no matter where he turns he can’t see anything. It’s too dark. Everything is too dark. He tries to call out to the voice but it doesn’t work. He can’t speak. Why can’t he speak? Where was his voice? What happened to him?
“Karamatsu, open your eyes.”
Open his eyes? Karamatsu is pretty sure they’re already open. But maybe they’re not. That would explain why it’s so dark. If he opened his eyes would the darkness go away? Would the cold go away with it?
“I’m going to keep our promise, Karamatsu.”
Promise? What promise? Did he know this girl? What promise could they have? For now, he decided to listen to the warm voice and try to open his eyes. As his eyes slowly opened, causing him to wince at the sudden flood of light and colour, he felt his whole body relax as a warmth engulfed him and washed away all those bad feelings.
His vision was still a bit blurry, but he thinks he sees a small girl standing in front of him. He can’t see that well yet but he thinks that she’s smiling at him.
Suddenly, his entire being seems to be engulfed by that warm light, and he knows no more. He hears a tinkling bell laughter and that voice speaking once again.
“I wish for you to be happy this time. May happiness follow you wherever you go.”
Karamatsu wishes for this as well as he feels himself fade into oblivion.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“If you could go back and change everything, would you?”
The five brothers stared at the small girl in front of them who was proposing such a ridiculous idea. What was she saying? Change the past? That’s not possible.
The girl chuckled and opened her eyes, causing the brothers gasp as they saw her eyes glow gold. The wind started to pick up around the six of them, causing her long, wavy black hair to gently move with the breeze, somehow not knocking off the thin golden circlet on her head. Her white dress fluttered lightly around her and they couldn’t help but think she looked like an angel in that moment. Which was somewhat ironic if you asked them. Having the looks of an angel but tempting them with false hope like a devil, because surely that’s all that she’s giving them. False hope. There’s no way she could be telling them the truth.
As if sensing their thoughts, she looked straight at the brothers, her eyes unwavering and a small smile tugging at her lips.
“You don’t believe me, do you? After all, time travel should be impossible, but just this once I’ll break the laws of time and space for you. So answer me Osomatsu, Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu, and Todomatsu Matsuno, if you could go back and change everything, to save your brother Karamatsu Matsuno, would you?”
The brothers were still confused. How did they even end up in this situation?
*Le Flashback*
Osomatsu looked up to the sky as it started to rain and he couldn’t help but think about how fitting it was. It was as if the world knew that today was a sad day for many and was crying as well, hoping that the rain would wash away the misery. Tears slowly streamed down his own face, mixing with the rain. He didn’t bother to use an umbrella; he didn’t care if he got sick. He just felt so numb at this point, not even caring that he’s crying in front of his brothers. He may be the eldest but he can’t be strong all the time. Not this time. Not now.
Glancing around, Osomatsu could see his parents standing close together and holding onto one another. His mother was full out sobbing while his father had tears prickling at his eyes, trying to hold back and stay strong for his family. He admired his father for being able to hold on so much. As the eldest of his brothers he should be strong enough to support them at this moment, but instead he found that he couldn’t even support himself. Turning the other direction, he saw all that was left of his brothers in a group together.
Choromatsu, Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu, and Todomatsu were all standing close together and huddling, crying their eyes out. Ever since
it
happened the brothers had taken a turn for the worse. They all needed to be near at least one of their twins and had to know where everyone was at all times. If separated for too long panic would follow and eventually they would breakdown. They constantly needed to know that the others were alright and okay and
alive.
Standing away from his family, Osomatsu couldn’t help but think that he was a failure. He failed his parents, his brothers, and especially one specific brother..
Thoughts of ‘If only..’ filled the young adult’s head. ‘If only I had been a better brother. If only I had been nicer. If only I paid more attention to him. If only I showed him I care more often. If only I did something when I noticed something was off instead of just brushing it off as a passing phase. If only he was alive…’
Osomatsu could only watch through dark eyes as his brother, his second in command, his little Karamachu was lowered into the ground, never to be seen or heard from again.
He felt like a part of him had died that day he found his little brother dead, and he can’t help but feel that another part of him has died and is buried under the ground with his brother on this very day. He sees his brothers and parents look away, but Osomatsu doesn’t give himself that luxury. He wants to scream and sob and run and pretend this entire thing isn’t happening and that when he gets home his brother will be sitting there looking at his reflection in his mirror instead of being buried six feet under because Osomatsu couldN’T GET HIS FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER TO SAVE-
He stopped himself there. He shouldn’t think like that; his parents told him he shouldn’t think like that. The therapist said he shouldn’t think like that. He shouldn’t place the blame solely on himself. It wasn’t his fault. No one was to blame. He thinks that that’s a bunch of bullshit but he keeps quiet.
Deep breath in. And then out.
In.
Out.
Lost in this trance like state as he tries to calm himself down as he watches everything that’s going on around him but not truly registering it, he finally snaps out of it when his father lays a hand on his shoulder and tells him that it’s over.
Going back home from the funeral, he and his brothers decided to walk in the rain rather than take the car back with their parents. Too much was going on in their minds and they didn’t want to go back home yet. There were too many reminders of
him
there and it only made the ache in their hearts worse.
The rain slowly came to a stop but the tears continued to roll down their cheeks. The sun was starting to come out and Osomatsu couldn’t help but wish for the rain to come back. The sun was too bright and happy for a day like this. Didn’t it understand that today was too miserable for something as bright as the sun? He just wanted to curl up in a dark corner and forget that all this is happening...
In the distance, Osomatsu could spot a small figure standing in the middle of the path but decided to ignore them, he wasn’t in the mood to put up with other people at the moment. Just as they neared the small figure who he now could see was a petite girl, he couldn’t keep the shock off his face when she approached them and started speaking with a cheerful voice.
“Hello Matsuno brothers! Would you like to save Karamatsu?”
The si-
five
(Osomatsu berated himself in his head) brothers looked at her with confusion and sadness and a hint of anger for lightly talking about something like this. Who was this girl? Was this some kind of joke to her? How fu
cking dare she-
The girl giggled lightly, reminding Osomatsu of the tinkling of bells, before speaking once again.
“Ah, sorry~ You must be confused right now hehe. Well, all you really need to know is that I’m a friend of Karamatsu. As for my name...Kara called me Hotaru, so you can call me Hotaru as well! But that’s not really important nor why I’m here. I’m here because I owe Kara, and I want him to be happy. His happiness was always you, always centered on you. In the end it lead to his downfall…” And wasn’t that just a stab to the heart. The young girl’s voice took a serious tone as she gazed at them with piercing gold eyes. Osomatsu shuddered, it felt like she was looking at his soul and he’s never felt so...bare and vulnerable before.
“...which is why I wanna give him another chance!” Her happy and cheerful demeanor back, Hotaru gave a small smile and asked once again.
“If you could go back and change everything, would you?”
*Le Flashback Fini*
Osomatsu took a step forward to act as a barrier between the strange girl and his brothers. He didn’t know what to make of this situation. Normally he would just laugh and play it off, but right now he was willing to latch onto any thread of hope.
His brothers were looking at him, at a loss of what to do just like him, waiting for him to speak. During moments like this he hated being the eldest. He didn’t know what to do; he was as much of a mess as his lost brothers. However, he needed to make a choice... but this situation seemed so unbelievable that he just couldn’t. Unable to handle the awkward silence anymore, he decided to finally speak up.
“Hm~? What are you talking about, Hotaru-chan was it? You know it’s not nice to play jokes on people like that.” Scratching under his nose and trying his best to give a carefree grin to seem normal and indifferent to what was happening, his voice took a light and joking tone at first but you could hear the steel and sadness in his words.
The girl kept her smile but her eyes sharpened and looked a touch colder than before. “I’m not joking, Osomatsu-san~ I’m serious, this is your one last shot. Do you really want to waste it by not believing me?”
Having gathered his bearings, Todomatsu spoke from behind Osomatsu, “How...how would you do it? The only way to fix things would be to send us back in time since bringing back the dead is impossible and would cause suspicion… How would you send us back? What would happen to this future?”
Choromatsu looked at Todomatsu incredulously, questioning his brother’s sanity. “You actually believe her? Totty time travel isn’t real!”
Todomatsu aimed a glare at his older brother as he yelled back, “After all the shit that happens to us, why can’t time travel be real!? Plus, it’s a chance to save Ka-karamatsu n-nii-san. I-i don’t care how I just want him back…”
Sobs started to rack Todomatsu’s frame as his tears sprang back to life once again. Jyushimatsu, seeing his only younger brother in distress, hugged him and whispered comforting words in his ear while trying to hold back his own tears.
Choromatsu’s gaze softened and he decided to stay silent. Of course he wanted Karamatsu back but he didn’t want to get all of their hopes up only to have it end with them just getting crushed in the end. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to recover after that. If any of them would be able to recover.
“Explain.”
Everyone’s heads turned towards Ichimatsu, who had been quiet thus far. He wanted to see how things would play out, and he needed to compose himself before speaking to this girl who might be able to give them a second chance. It was no secret that Ichimatsu blamed himself for Karamatsu’s suicide. Sure they were all horrible to him, but in his own eyes Ichi had been the main antagonist towards Kara in this play we call life. As much as the other brothers say that it wasn’t just him, that it was all of them, Ichimatsu can’t help but believe that it was him in the end. So he would do anything to get Karamatsu back. He just wants a second chance, to fix his mistakes, to have the brother he admires most lying next to him on their shared futon once again.
“Explain how this would work. What do we have to do?”
“Oi Ichima-”, called out Osomatsu, not quite believing that this was actually happening, but before he could finish the purple clad brother cut him off harshly.
“I don’t care what any of you say. I’ll do whatever it takes, with or without you,” Ichimatsu’s eyes never left those of the young girl who was also staring right back.
Sighing, Osomatsu slung his arm over his brother’s shoulder and hugged him closely when he saw that tears were starting to fall once again from his eyes.
“I wasn’t going to say we shouldn’t, of course we’re gonna do anything it takes to get him back. After all the weird shit we’ve been through, this can’t be too bad.” Osomatsu grinned reassuringly as to comfort his younger brother.
Jyushimatsu, who had been quiet for the most part so far nodded quickly in agreement, jumping up and down in excitement, tears still at the corners of his eyes. “Yeah! Hustle hustle! Muscle muscle! Saving Ka-karamatsu-nii san!”
The brothers all relaxed a bit more at seeing their ball of sunshine show some happiness and cheer. The familiar words of the fifth brother brought relief to the rest; since Karamatsu’s death he hadn’t smiled quite as bright or as often and it was seriously starting to worry them. Seeing him in a normal state, well as normal as Jyushimatsu can get, was a comfort and they all smiled a bit at him.
Hotaru looked at the brothers without saying a word. Her silence was unnerving and the brothers started feeling awkward because of her strong gaze. Finally, after what felt like forever, she smiled once more at them and began speaking.
“If you choose to accept my offer, you’d return to the past as you are now. Well, your mind I mean. I’d basically be transferring your mind to the body of your past self. You will retain all knowledge of past- well, future events that have previously occurred. Now, as for your question,” here she turned her eyes to stare directly as Todomatsu, “on what would happen to this future, well it’s simple. This future will cease to exist.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” cried Choromatsu who looked frantic. Everyone turned to look at him and they could instantly see the distress and conflict on his face. “It’ll cease to exist? Can we really do this? It’s the whole timeline we’re talking about here!”
The young girl chuckled and looked amused, causing Choromatsu to flush red in embarrassment. Just as his brothers were about to tell him who cares because Karamatsu was worth it so the universe could go fuck itself, she spoke up and corrected him.
“Sorry about that, I should probably explain that more. Think of this as a movie that you can rewind and fastforward. Time will be rewound back to the point where you land. The whole timeline won’t cease to exist, just what happened within that time frame of now and where you go. What happened once before will happen once again unless someone knowingly tries to change it. You won’t be able to affect the lives of others to that extent, I’ll make sure of it. The only lives you can freely affect are your own and your brothers since you are all connected,” explained Hotaru.
Choromatsu nodded understandingly at her explanation. It’s not like he wouldn’t have gone through with it even if they did have to eradicate the timeline, because he would.
He would do anything to get back his brother.
It’s just that knowing they weren’t destroying everything made him feel better about doing this.
“So when do we go?!” cried out Jyushimatsu. Although he did feel a bit wary at first, his brothers are going along with it and he wants to see his other brother again. He tried his best to smile and keep happy after finding out about his suicide, but he couldn’t help that he just can’t be strong all the time because a piece of him was ripped out of his very heart and soul. He constantly felt the aching loss of his blue brother; all of them felt it too. He wanted to be able to laugh and sing and play baseball with everyone again like normal. He just wanted his family back. He wanted them all to be okay.
He
wanted to be okay.
Turning towards Jyushimatsu, Hotaru’s face changed to an unreadable expression as she gave them news that made their stomachs sink.
“I’m sorry but there can be no ‘we’. Only one person will be able to go back; who it is is up to you.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Silence filled the air as the brothers took in what Hotaru just said.
‘Only one…’
As their minds continued to process what was said, one brother finally shook himself out of his stupor. Said brother’s face started to turn red before an angry outburst broke the silence.
“WHAT?!”
Everyone jumped and turned towards Choromatsu, who was surprisingly the one to yell and whose face currently resembled a tomato. While Choromatsu would often get worked up and would have no problem yelling or screaming at his brothers, his anxiety made it hard to even talk to strangers, let alone yell at them. Osomatsu could see on his face that he was enraged and immediately tried to calm his brother down.
“Oi oi Choro-chan calm do-”
Choromatsu spun to face Osomatsu; his face was scrunched up in anger and his hand pointed accusingly at his brother.
“DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. I told you we shouldn’t believe this girl! She says she can help us and then tells us only one of us can go?! What kind of bullshit is this? If she’s so powerful why only one?! How is that fair to the rest of us..We all wanna see and help Karamatsu nii-san so how are we supposed to choose only one person to go..”
By then Choromatsu was sobbing as he slowly sank to the ground. Osomatsu couldn’t blame his brother for being triggered by this. All this time Choromatsu had tried to be the responsible one during their period of grieving. After what happened he tried his best to make sure everyone was okay; that they were eating right, sleeping, taking care of themselves… He cried so much, just like everyone, but he always had enough of a grip on himself and his emotions so that the brothers wouldn’t see him truly break.
Osomatsu couldn’t take seeing his brother in such distress and wrapped his arms around him. He could feel the tears on his neck as Choromatsu gripped him tightly and tried to pull himself together. It truly wasn’t fair at all. Giving them hope and then saying only one can go back? How could they leave each other just like that?
Shifting his gaze to Hotaru, he saw her face change into an expression that she hasn’t shown yet. She looks guiltily at Choromatsu, probably sorry for making him break down like this. He tightens his grip on his brother as he feels a tiny bit of resentment for this girl who keeps playing with their emotions.
When Choromatsu finally calmed down and detached himself from his brother while aiming a thankful smile at him, they both turned to Hotaru only to see the girl gave a small bow and smiled sadly at them.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to distress you like that,” she said softly. “I should have explained it more thoroughly instead of saying it so simply and bluntly. What I said before is true, I can only send one of you back to your past self. I… I’m not even supposed to be doing this so I can only send one through safely. However, that one won’t be alone. They’ll have this.” She pulled something out of her pocket and held it out to the brothers to see.
In her hand was a bracelet that looked dainty and a bit too delicate for Osomatsu’s taste if he was being honest. But he did admit to himself that it was pretty and had a certain appeal to it that he wouldn’t mind wearing it. It was a charm bracelet with a platinum chain with six different charms dangling from it. The charms looked like the symbol that each of his brothers have on their sweaters, with each charm corresponding to a colour he and his brothers wear. He can’t help but feel a pang in his chest as he sees the blue charm, however it makes him happy to see something that included all six of them again. Because soon it would be six of them all together again
that’s if this girl is telling the truth but Osomatsu didn’t want to believe otherwise, couldn’t believe otherwise, not when a chance was right before his eyes.
He would make sure of it.
“While I can’t send the rest of you straight to your own bodies, I can seal you inside the charms of this bracelet. The one who goes back would take this with them so that all of you will hopefully regain your memories and be together once again. However, there is one condition to unlocking the charms,” continued Hotaru.
The brothers had all started to gain their spirits once again when they heard there was a way for them all to go back, but hearing that there was a condition made them brace themselves one again.
“In order for it to be unlocked and regain your memories, your past selves need to… go through a redemption of sorts.”
Todomatsu, who had been quiet thus far, made a questioning noise at what she said. “What do you mean by redemption?”
The girl simply shrugged her shoulders before opening her mouth to reply, “Redemption is redemption. The you of that time has to realize their mistakes and find a way to make it up to Karamatsu. I can’t make it so easy that you can regain your memories without putting some effort into it. As much as I would like to just return you to your younger selves but with the state of mind you currently hold, it’s just not possible. There is always some give and take, some challenge that needs to be overcome. This isn’t something that is just placed into your awaiting hands; you need to earn it. This is your test, to see if you really can change and make Karamatsu happy. Sure the you of now is different but that’s because you experienced a huge shock. Hopefully we’ll be able to avoid Karamatsu’s death but you need to work for it. Remember, you’ll also have the help of whichever brother you send back as they’ll gain their memories right away.”
The brothers all looked at each other and seemed to agree that this was fair and seemed reasonable enough. It shouldn’t be too hard right? They may all be stubborn and shitty NEETs but they could change if they had to. And they
had to
.
The only one that seemed unsure was Ichimatsu. His shoulders were trembling as his hands balled themselves into fists. His skin was deathly pale and his eyes were wide with fear as he looked at his brothers who noticed that something was wrong. When his brothers asked what was wrong they were surprised at how vulnerable and soft his voice sounded during his shaky reply.
“I-i don’t know if I can. I don’t think I can. If the past me can change.. Can I change? I.. I know now I’m different but that’s only because I lost him. Because as I stared at his dead body I could feel my whole world crumble at my feet as a part of me died that day. I… I was the worst to him. I beat him and yelled cruel words and treated him as if he didn’t even deserve to be the dirt I walk on. Even though he’s my brother there were days where I was just so mad at him and thought he was just a
piece of shit that I wish would die
and I would always
tell him these things because I didn’t care at all
. He would always break out into one of his stupid speeches and that same smile as if nothing was wrong and I was just so
angry
that nothing seemed to affect him and then.. and then… he was gone… Am I even redeemable at this point? I never thought twice whenever I hurt him and-”
Ichimatsu’s trainwreck of a speech ended once the hands of his younger sunshine brother covered his mouth. Jyushimatsu couldn’t stand hearing Ichimatsu place so much blame on himself. They were all at fault, no matter the degree or severity they all shared equal blame and so no one should blame themselves only.
“But you can change nii-san! The fact that you changed after it happened is proof of that! All of us have done cruel things to Karamatsu nii-san but the fact that you’re feeling remorse right now means that you have changed in ways you never thought possible and you can change once again. I know you and even though you think yourself to be the cruelest of us all you have one of the warmest hearts. So please believe in yourself and let’s save Karamatsu nii-san together!” Jyushimatsu beamed as his brother, causing his purple brother to give him a small smile and nod in agreement.
“That’s right Ichimatsu!”cried out Osomatsu. “You act like you’re doing this alone. You’ll have us with you every step of the way. We’ll make sure things don’t go too far so believe in yourself and believe in your brothers too.”
Choromatsu and Todomatsu nodded their heads in agreement, saying that Ichimatsu should put more faith in them.
Hotaru stared at the brothers with a small smile on her face, however, that smile didn’t stay long when she felt a shift in the air and knew that she wouldn’t be able to stay for much longer before they caught onto what she was trying to do. She hated to interrupt such a happy scene but if anything was going to happen it needed to happen now.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but there’s not much time left,” said Hotaru. “If you plan to take me up on my offer then you need to choose which brother is going back right now.”
The brothers snapped out of their happy trance to look at the girl who had given them hope once again. They almost couldn’t believe it. Was this really happening? Were they really going to get their brother back? Are they finally going to feel complete again?
Nodding at the girl in understanding the brothers formed a small huddle slightly away from the girl to discuss who should be the one to go back.
“I think…” said Choromatsu softly. “I think Osomatsu should be the one to go back.”
Osomatsu turned his head towards Choromatsu and looked at him with an incredulous expression. Was he really hearing things right? Did Choromatsu just say that he, the useless, lazy, drunk, gambling, no-good elder brother should go back?
Jyushimatsu nodded his head enthusiastically, agreeing with Choromatsu. “Yeah! Nii-san should go back!”
Todomatsu sighed with a resigned look on his face but sided with Choromatsu as well. “As much as I hate to say it, it might be for the best..”
Osomatsu couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Were they actually choosing him? But why? As much as he wanted to be the one to go, if only to see Karamatsu again, he knew that it would be a bad choice because he was a failure. He was already a failure of a brother. He had failed Karamatsu too many times, he doesn’t know if he could handle failing him again.
Seeing that Osomatsu was too stunned to say anything, Choromatsu turned his head towards Ichimatsu to get his input. His brother hadn’t said anything on the matter yet and just stared at a random spot on the road with a tired, blank look on his face. “What do you think Ichimatsu?”
Ichimatsu simply shrugged his shoulders and opened his mouth to say something, only hesitating for a moment before deciding to continue on. “I think Osomatsu should go. And before you start protesting,” interrupting Osomatsu with a sharp look as he had opened his mouth to contradict Ichimatsu, “you would be the best choice out of all of us. Choromatsu is responsible and was nice enough to Karamatsu that he could probably help him more, but none of us would really take him seriously or listen to him. Same with Jyushimatsu, he would help him smile more and make sure he wasn’t lonely but the me from the past would probably hurt Karamatsu more out of jealousy if he saw that.. Todomatsu may be one of the closer ones to Karamatsu but he’s still a dry demon and everyone would get suspicious if he suddenly changed and tried to get the others to change too. And me… I was the worst to him. If I went back I could treat him better and I wouldn’t have to worry about not being able to change… but I don’t think the rest of you will listen to me.”
Osomatsu could see where his brother was coming from but still, this was madness!
Taking a small pause to confirm that Osomatsu was still following, Ichimatsu continued, “That’s why it has to be you Osomatsu nii-san. You’re our eldest brother and our leader. As much as I hate to say it, even though we don’t treat you with much respect at times we still tend to follow your lead and you’re able to influence all of us. You’ve always been overprotective of us so you changing would be less suspicious. And besides, you’re Karamatsu nii-san’s only older brother. He won’t rely on us as much as he would you because we’re younger than him and he’ll try to be the responsible older brother who doesn’t burden his younger siblings. You’re the only one Karamatsu can rely on as his older brother. So you have to go.”
Osomatsu looked dumbfounded at Ichimatsu’s speech. Did they really think he could do this? Does he think he can do this?
“Osomatsu!”
“Yes!” cried out Osomatsu as he stood to attention. Looking for the owner of the voice, his eyes focused on Choromatsu.
“I… I know you’re scared. We all are. All of us are worried about whether this will really work out or not but we have to try. We need to try for him. We all believe in you and we know that if anyone can succeed it’s you. So please, please bring back Karamatsu.” Choromatsu looked like he was about to cry again.
He was looking at Osomatsu desperately along with the rest of his brothers. He could see it in each of their faces as their eyes held the usual grief he had gotten so used to seeing, but now there was a new emotion there. Hope. His brothers finally had hope and as the eldest brother it was his job to take care of his younger brothers and make sure that hope doesn’t die. Sure, he still doesn’t think he’s the best for the job. He’s honestly terrified of messing up and ruining everything, but how could he say no? Not when his brothers believed in him so much. Not when there was a specific blue brother that needs him to be there for him.
Steeling his resolve, Osomatsu let out a small resigned sigh before looking at his brothers with a smile and a thumbs up. “Awe my cute little brothers trust their nii-san so much. Don’t worry! Leave it all to me!”
Todomatsu’s face suddenly shifted into a deadpan look as he faced his other brothers and bluntly said, “We’re sure about this right? We’re really trusting that?”
Choromatsu sighed before nodding resignedly, “We have no choice. I understand what you mean but he’s our best option.”
Osomatsu pouted at his brothers’ cruel words, “How can you be so mean to your nii-chan?”
Choromatsu and Todomatsu didn’t bother to reply as they instead turned to Hotaru to tell her their decision, leaving Osomatsu to sulk while Jyushimatsu patted his back reassuringly and Ichimatsu smirked at his pitiful older brother.
“Have you made your decision?” asked Hotaru with a slight tilt of her head.
Looking at each other, all the brothers nodded before Osomatsu stepped forward.
“Hehe looks like I’ll be the one to go back, Hotaru-chan.”
Beaming at the eldest Matsuno brother, the young girl gave him the charm bracelet and instructed him on one last feature that the bracelet had.
“I know that it may be hard to do this all on your own, so I added one last small function to the bracelet. If you ever need help or advice you’ll be able to call forth any of your brothers to help you at the time. Of course, only you will be able to see him so you don’t need to worry about where you call them. And remember this, you can only call each brother out once. After that, the only way to talk to that brother again is after they’ve faced redemption. Make sure to use this carefully, okay?”
Osomatsu nodded in understanding, feeling slightly relieved. This was a daunting task and he was scared of being back there alone. Knowing that he can call on his brothers, even if it’s just one for each of them, makes him feel better inside.
“Now I believe our business is concluded. You’ll wake up in the past in exactly one minute from now so say your goodbyes and any last words, okay? You’ll wake up approximately six months before the incident, which should give you plenty of time to work on whatever plan you have. Just remember to have patience. Healing takes time and all of your issues won’t suddenly be resolved over one moment of realization and one talk of forgiveness. It’s going to be a struggle so don’t be too discouraged if you’re not able to fix things so easily or quickly. Acknowledging the issue and beginning the road to recovery is tremendous progress and a feat in and of itself so never give up no matter how long it takes.”
The brothers took the advice to heart and gave Hotaru determined looks and nods of acknowledgement. It didn’t matter how much time it took; maybe they’ll be better within three months, 6 months, heck maybe they won’t be better until a year has gone by. But they won’t give up no matter what.
Smiling at the determination in their eyes, Hotaru continued, “ If no one has any further questions then I’ll take my leave now.”
Looking at all the brothers, they all shook their heads and she took that as her cue to leave. Before she left, she looked at Osomatsu with a hesitating look in her eyes, making him look at her curiously. However, that hesitancy disappeared as she walked up to him and tugged on his sleeve and softly spoke.
“Promise you’ll make Karamatsu happy again? That you’ll save him?”
Looking at her wide golden eyes, Osomatsu firmly nodded his head and replied back, “I promise.”
Aiming one last smile at them, when they all blinked she was suddenly gone. The brothers all looked around trying to find where she went but they saw no sight of her. They quickly forgot about that though when they realized that they don’t have much time left either.
“You can do this Osomatsu, don’t forget we’re always with you!”
Choromatsu…
“Have more faith in yourself, nii-san.”
Ichimatsu…
“Yeah! We all believe in you!”
Jyushimatsu…
“Do your best nii-san, we’re counting on you.”
Todomatsu…
Grinning at each of his brothers, Osomatsu could tell his time was almost up, so he yelled out one last line to them.
“Yup! Don’t worry, your nii-chan will save the day!”
His brothers’ exasperated faces were the last things he took notice of as he a warm light engulfed him and he felt himself fall into oblivion. Before losing consciousness, he heard a voice that he hadn’t heard in awhile. One that made his heart ache yet be filled with love at the same time.
“Thank you, Osomatsu.”
His body felt light, he couldn’t tell where he was. He felt like he was floating in a river of sunshine, blanketed by never ending warmth and comfort that he never wanted to leave. He wonders when the last time he felt this comfortable was, probably before Karamatsu died..
“-su”
Karamatsu? Osomatsu felt his face scrunched up, why did it feel like he was forgetting something? Maybe he would remember when he got up but it’s so warm right now.
“-matsu”
Hm? Was that a voice he heard? He wondered who it was, why was this person disturbing him when he had finally gotten the feeling of contentedness that he had been searching for.
“Osomatsu wake up now”
Wake up? Why does he have to wake up? Isn’t he already awake? Osomatsu’s mind felt all fuzzy and he couldn’t quite think that much at the moment but it wasn’t a bad feeling. However, he felt like he was forgetting something really important-
It wasn’t anything but a gentle shake, a small nudge, yet it was enough to snap him out of whatever was happening to him and open his eyes and sit up, only for them to land on..
Blue.
At that moment, Osomatsu couldn’t see anything except for his blue-clad brother staring at him in concern. His lips were moving but honestly Osomatsu couldn’t understand what he was saying. All he was focused on was the sound of his voice, the healthy colour of his skin, the eyes that were alive and
looking at him and holy shit this is Karamatsu alive and whole and-
Without wasting another second, Osomatsu launched himself at his brother and enveloped him in a tight hug. Karamatsu, unprepared for the sudden hug attack let out a very high pitched yelp before falling to the floor with his brother clinging onto him.
Worried eyes stared at his elder brother’s tear streaked face as his brother clung to him like his life depended on him. Returning the hug, Karamatsu was far too worried about his brother to bother with his usual theatrics.
“O-osomatsu? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You started crying in your sleep so I thought I should wake you up.” Calloused fingers gently wiped the tears away from his brother’s face as he forced his brother to look at him.
However, instead of seeing the fear or terror that he expected to see, he could only relief and happiness.
Nodding his head, Osomatsu grinned brightly at Karamatsu and brought him close into another hug.
“Yup! It was just a nightmare, but everything’s alright. I will make everything alright.”
Karamatsu made a confused noise over his brother’s choice of words but didn’t comment on them. He hugged his brother tightly in order to give him some comfort from his nightmare, and if he perhaps gripped a bit too tightly, a bit too desperately because finally his brother was giving him some affection, well, Osomatsu didn’t mention it so he was content to just stay there with his brother.
Osomatsu on the other hand couldn’t believe this was really happening. Karamatsu was really alive and breathing in his arms, whatever Hotaru had done really worked. Right now he should probably be trying to get his facts straight and yeah okay he was probably acting a bit too out of character but at the moment he didn’t care too much. He can worry about all that stuff later. Right now, he wanted to relish this moment. The moment his brother was alive before him once again.
Nii-chan promises to do his best this time, so Karamatsu, please hold on!