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A kiss is just a kiss, it isn’t meant to mean anything. It was supposed to be simple. It was meant to answer a single question, not create a dozen more.One quick press of dry lips has broken down every wall Chris has erected around his emotions and anything resembling feelings. Kissing Adam blew his fucking mind and ruined his ability to live in denial. Ignorance really was bliss and Chris wished he could have it back, wished for things to go back to normal, wished he never kissed his best friend to prove a fucking point.Except a small part of him could never regret that kiss; because that simple, little kiss opened his eyes.As it turned out Chris wasn’t as straight as he told himself – and everyone else – he was. When Adam came out Chris did all the research he could to support his best bud, so he knew all the terminology and thought bisexual sounded right.Turns out Chris is – and always has been, though he never let himself admit it – pretty bisexual. Into chicks and dudes.It wasn’t an as earthshattering realisation as he’d always feared it would be. He’d kissed Adam and thought ‘huh, that wasn’t terrible; in fact I kinda liked it. I might like kissing guys. Well, shit. I might be kind of bi, actually that makes a lot of sense. Shit.’ He might have freaked the fuck out in the privacy of his own home for the next few days but he likes to think he handled it like man. A bi man; because that’s what he is now, bisexual.
Holy shit.
Okay, so the freaking out thing is still happening but he can freak out and feel totally comfortable at the same time.There was another reason that kiss has him spinning out and was kind of ruining the buzz of his bi realisation.That kiss has him noticing how much he likes his best friend, as more than a best friend. He’s totally into Adam and he has no idea how to handle that. Especially when Adam only sees him as a brother.There’s being friend zoned, which is bad enough, but Chris got bro zoned. No one makes it out of the bro zone.In short, he was doomed to the depths of unrequited love for his best friend, and it sucked.Feeling excited, anxious as fuck, and mildly depressed Chris did the only thing he could. He cooked.Seeing as there is nothing more depressing than cooking for one, Chris let himself into Adam’s kitchen at the bad side of 7am on a Sunday morning. The kitchen was soon filled with the warm and gooey aroma of a breakfast worthy of any of the posh five star restaurants. Jamie Oliver, eat your heart out.His obsession with Jamie Oliver certainly made a lot of sense now.Chris was just finishing up the banana and choc chip waffles when a bleary eyed Adam stumbled into the kitchen.“What happened?” Adam mumbled as he fell heavily into the dining chair. Bypassing the table full of no doubt delicious breakfast food Adam went straight for the fresh pot of coffee Chris had set out. “You only cook breakfast if something really bad or really good happened.”Chris tried really hard not to get butterflies over Adam knowing him so well. He also tried not to notice how cute a sleep ruffled Adam looked. He failed spectacularly on both accounts.Sitting at the table Chris busies himself with plating up a heap of breakfast foods. In no way is Chris actually hungry, in fact he’s feeling pretty nauseas right now, but he needs something to keep his hands busy lest he try and smooth down Adam’s messy curls. Panic starts to rise and his legs start twitching. Maybe this was a bad time to do this, maybe never is a better time? He’d decided while he was cooking that he had to come out to Adam. It was only fair and besides Adam was still his best friend. Coming out is kind of a big deal and the best friend should always be the one to find out. Chris just never realised how nerve wracking this whole thing was, no matter how right it felt.
Is this what Adam felt when he came out? Is this why he waited so long to say it?
“It’s kinda both. Good and bad, you know? Well, I mean there’s two things. One good. One bad. At least, I think one’s pretty good and other kinda bad, but you might not think it’s bad or –”“Shit, it must be pretty big if you’re rambling. I haven’t seen you this wound up since your folks spilt.” Adam looks a little horrified, like he’s expecting Chris to drop something life changing in his lap. Chris wonders if he wore a similar facial expression when Adam came out.Chris takes a moment to just look at Adam, his best friend in the whole world, someone he doesn’t think he can live without, someone he trusts above all else. He feels like he could take on the world with Adam by his side. Even if this conversation blows up in his face Chris is glad he got to experience this type of friendship with such an amazing guy.“When I kissed you I realised I’m bisexual and it didn’t feel like kissing my brother,” Chris calmly states, eyes still locked on Adam’s. It’s eerie, this calm, like someone has sucked the emotion right out of him. It feels like he’s channelling his inner Spock in an effort to shield his heart from any pain.Everything in the kitchen stills as if a photograph capturing the moment forever. Adam’s eyes are huge and his mouth hangs open. Chris feels frozen like he’s waiting for the pin to drop but he can’t help the way his eyes fixate on Adam’s plush lips. He remembers how those lips felt pressed against his own. Dry and chapped and maybe a little awkward but Chris still thinks it was perfect.While Chris sits daydreaming about kissing Adam again he fails to realise that Adam is still stuck speechless and has been for several minutes already. Did he fry Adam’s brain?He refuses to think his subtle confession repulsed Adam so much that the guy is refusing to speak. Adam wouldn’t do that to him. Adam’s the type of guy you write home about, he’s the good guy, the gentleman.Slowly Adam’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he swallowed so hard Chris nearly cringed in sympathy. When Adam finally found his voice it wasn’t anything Chris was expecting to hear.“I lied. At the barbeque, I lied.” Chris had been preparing for a gentle let down, a brush off, maybe an awkward joke and back to being bro’s. Not once did Chris expect Adam to return his feelings.That’s what’s happening isn’t it? That is what Adam is alluding to right?Chris doesn’t have it in him to double check or ask for permission, he feels like he’s been denied this for too long. Like a man dying of thirst Chris springs from his seat and nearly lunges over the table towards Adam. Grabbing Adam by the scruff of his grey sleep shirt Chris smashed their mouths together. It’s a little painful, too much pressure and not enough give, it’s not gentle in the least and Chris is pretty sure Adam hasn’t even closed his eyes.After a second of not quite right everything changes and the kiss softens and heats up all at once. It’s lips and teeth and tongue, it’s heat and desire, it’s soft and sweet.This isn’t how one bro would kiss another bro.This kiss is everything their first one wasn’t.This kiss is real.Breakfast can wait, Chris is too busy mapping the inside of Adam’s mouth with his tongue.