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The wedding was all planned out to be set on John and Mary’s lawn. The lawn and surrounding trees were pruned to perfection, the koi pond was cleaned and primed. Every blade of grass was exactly the same length.The outside of the house was pristine, unlike the inside.Dean’s hair was too fluffy to be tamed and Mary’s constant petting was giving him a pressure headache. The pressed shirt (not from the official tux) has basically wilted. With so many people packed into the house, the heat had risen at least 10 degrees. Dean was pretty sure that he had sweat stains down the back of the shirt by now. The nerves didn’t help.He knew that Cas was upstairs with John and Sam trying to practice his vows, and while it reassured him a little, Cas still wasn’t by his side.“The groom and bride aren’t allowed to see each other yet!” Is what his mom had yelled at him before she pushed him into the pantry to change into his mock-tux.The constant buzzing of relatives talking had made him jumpy every time that someone had walked past the pantry door. They had some serious boundary problems and would open the doors wide open even if he was in his birthday suit. It had happened before.He could hear Uncle Bobby arguing with Samuel about some sour politics. The constant clinking of Bobby’s flask from where he kept flailing with it could be heard over the TV.“Dean!” Sam’s voice could be heard from here to Timbuktu. “Are you done yet?”Dean straighten his tie the best he could before he pushed his way out of the pantry.The family didn’t notice him, but of course, Mary did.“How does that fit you? That was John’s in high school, it should be too big.” Mary tried to straighten his tie from where it had twisted.“Uh, it fits just fine. Why?”“John was about 200 pounds in high school and he’s taller than you. It shouldn’t fit right.”“I’m not much shorter, you know. And I’m about 200 pounds.”“Have you gained weight?” Mary tsked.“I’m literally getting married to a chef. What the hell else would you expect?”“You are a mechanic, isn’t it supposed to be heavy lifting? And If this one won’t fit, how are you going to wear your official one?” Mary chastised.Shit. “I - I can get it on. It’ll be fine, right?” The panic was setting in. “Let’s get you outside before you start dripping sweat on the floor, then we can have you try it on.” Mary guided him to the back porch before she closed the glass door. Dean looked up at the illuminated upstairs window. Cas was in there.Dean fished around for a handful of pebbles before he began to launch them at the window. “Cas!”The window opened and Cas peered squinty eyed at Dean.“What are you doing?”“Nuthin’. But apparently you ruined our wedding.” Dean quirked.“How?”“Well, I don’t know if I can fit into the tux because you feed me too much. Mom is gettin’ it right now, and I guess we’ll see if you’re a wedding crasher or not.” “You’re the one who insisted on being my ‘guinea pig’.” Cas added air quotes for effect. “Well I’m sorry that you had to go and be an amazing chef. It’s all your fault.” Dean smiled up at him. “Don’t worry about it, babe. If worst comes to worst, I can just wear the tux I’m wearing. I’m not exactly picky.”“Then we can return the expensive tux, right?” “Yeah. The lapels were too shiny anyways.”“Dean, you’re the weirdest human I know.”“Have you met yourself? You literally talk to the rocks in the park.” Dean said.Mary suddenly opened the glass door and glared at Dean. She turned her head up at Cas, “No talking! I don’t care if you’re gonna be together forever, right now you can’t talk.” Her pointed finger and dangerous gaze sent Cas slamming the window shut.“C’mon, Mom, we were just talking about how he likes to talk to the rocks by our house.” Dean groaned. “You can talk about that later tonight. Now shut up and let’s get you changed in the pantry.”Mary lead him back inside and practically threw him in the pantry with the fancy suit. The plastic bag was hard to get rid of, but eventually Dean was struggling his way into a suit.Dean hesitated to leave the pantry as he could hear Bobby threatening to punch Samuel in the face about his whiskey flask.Dean pushed the pantry door open and made his way to the mirror that was in the hallway. He still hadn’t buttoned the suit jacket out of fear, so he waited until Mary found him.“Does it fit?” She asked“I haven’t tried yet. If I had to guess, I’d say no.”“Hmph. I know you spent good money on this suit, but it’s probably better to get the refund. I don’t really like it anyways,” she added.This was the weirdest wedding he’d ever been to, and it was his own.
