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January 29th, 2018You ever just look at your life and realize how much it sucks? Oh, not because you're poor or living in a war zone or even struggling with a disability, nope. That is not what I’m talking about. What’s eating away at me right now is how average my life is, and how horribly bland it all is, how forgettable it is. I know I am kind of too young to think about this sort of stuff but as I walk down these long halls of toxic air and depressed peers, I think about death a lot. I never enjoy it, I constantly try to repress it. Still, regardless of my efforts, I move towards the topic, like a bug to a flame. So using my not real at all psychic powers, I see myself in a lousy cheap grave, people would only visit me when they’re feeling guilty about forgetting me and still wanna tell themselves they are a good person. It will be a lonely death without anyone there besides maggots feasting on my body. Meanwhile, I spend the only life I get waking up in the morning giving myself a motivational speech just to crawl out of the warmth that is my bed. Later, I just stare at my reflection for an hour asking myself who is this mediocre garbage person? Maybe I should take out the garbage part it’s repetitive. The simple fact is, if you are mediocre you are nothing. You gotta be above the middle line to be anything, to get a higher education, get a decent job, find someone to love who isn’t a total clown; you get the idea. I dare say this is the reason I envy my little brother. The little turd is only 14 and he’s already leagues ahead of me, it’s not like I hate him for it, I just wish I could keep up with the hyperactive dunce.
His name is Morty, dorky name, cool kid. The guy is a total whiz kid, a youth that can outsmart a university professor. He’s able to basically make any gadget and adventure anywhere he damn well pleases. I’m not kidding, Morty has been going on legit science fiction adventures for awhile now and he’s only 14...Fuck where did I go wrong you know? My name is Summer and I exist. That is all there really is to it. I like basic things like coffee, electronic music and breathing air. No one wants to read that! No one cares about coffee I order or whatever hipster artist I’ve been listening to, lots of people would love to hear about the genius sass master that is my little brother. I’m honestly just waiting for someone to come along and tell him he’s the chosen one. It’s frustrating to just be space while someone in your family is a star. They say that everyone will get there, it’s just that the time it takes, changes from person to person. Maybe they have a point, maybe they don’t. That’s the thing you can never know until you live it. Life seems to be full of random chances whether you are a protagonist or a side character. Maybe there is a comfort in being a side character; It means you’re less likely to die or be traumatized, then again, less likely to find true love and live life to the fullest. Pros and con with everything. Perhaps if I push myself hard enough, I can at least become someone's favorite character. I mean no hipster will like the main character, Nah they’ll go for the underdog and that underdog is me I think. Yeah, I guess that’s cool.