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“No! Stop!”
Dramatic wailing soon filled the air and Gladio tried with all his might to block out the irritating noise. He was okay with kids, he loved them in fact, but the crying… that was something he’d never be a fan of. Especially when it was over something so silly.
“Mine! Give it back!”
Tiny feet on chubby legs stomped in anger, like the harder he pounded the floor the more likely it would be that Gladio would be swallowed up and vanish. Gladio was also somehow hoping for the same.
“Ardyn, stop. No yelling, stop!” Gladio bit his lip in frustration and squeezed his eyes shut because of course,
of course
, saying that made everything worse. He’d grown to love the little guy (something that even surprised him because of all the history they had) but sometimes he wished the baby version of Ardyn had his adult self’s understanding of compromise.
“No, he’s mine! Give Yoji back!” Surprisingly strong fingers grabbed Gladio’s thighs and dug in.
Ouch!
Ardyn was just lucky that Ignis had a swear jar glaring from across the room else Gladio might have been a bit more willing to let some bad language fly.
The kid had Titan’s strength and it sucked ass.
“You can have this one instead!” Gladio hid Yoji the chocobo toy behind his back and attempted to tuck it into the waistband of his pants with one hands. He was not successful. From what he could tell it was hanging by a wing but it was better than nothing and Gladio needed both his hands to ward the little tantrum storm off. “This one’s better, it’s newer, and it’s clean!”
Ardyn stopped crying suddenly but Gladio knew the battle was far from won. That little quivering lip meant something bad was going to happen. Bad with a capital B.
“Yoji is black, he’s not dirty! You’re racist!” Came the cry complete with another foot stop.
Gladio couldn’t help it, he gaped. “Wha—What? What are you talking about? Where did you even hear… I’m not—“
Breathe in, breathe out. Calm, calm thoughts. Don’t let the kid win.
“Yoji hasn’t been washed in a month and you sleep with him every day. He needs a bath, just like you and me.”
There was silence as Ardyn took everything in. At least that’s what Gladio assumed the little guy was doing. He looked thoughtful and, terrifyingly, for a split second looked exactly like his old adult self.
“I’m sorry.” Ardyn said instead of angry words. “You’re right.” He smiled as innocently as a cherub. Made Gladio suspicious as hell but maybe he had just been looking for enemies in the shadows for far too long.
Clearly Ardyn knew he’d gained the upper hand. He had a crafty look to his eye as he pouted and held his arms out for a hug. Gladio felt something was amiss but if there was one thing he could never do, it was ignore a request for love.
“I’m sorry.” Ardyn said again and Gladio enveloped the little monster is one of his patented bear hugs. He had to admit, out of the four adults in the family, he definitely was the best hugger. He let the plush toy he was trying to coax Ardyn to take fall to the floor because, well, it wasn’t real and Ardyn wasn’t paying attention anyway. He’d apologize to the thing if he had to. Later.
Maybe.
Suddenly there was a grunt and a wiggle and one of Ardyn’s little arms reached behind Gladio’s back for what he must have been aiming for all along. Gladio tried to move back but he couldn’t disentangle himself from Ardyn without potentially tripping the kid up. By the time he’s successfully extricated himself Ardyn had claimed his prize and was dancing backwards, holding his black chocobo to his chest like it was the shield to Gladio’s sword.
“Ardyn…” Gladio heaved a big sigh. A
huge
sigh. And then rubbed his chin, scratching his beard furiously with his nails.
Children!
Gladio was only one man and he’d had enough. He’d had a long day and Ardyn, although not as naughty as he’d been in recent days, was still a bit more than Gladio was willing to handle at the moment. But hey, that’s what co-parents were for.
Sitting back on his butt, Gladio leaned over and grabbed the abandoned plush from the floor and waved it menacingly at Ardyn who, to his credit, just giggled and blew a raspberry. He was having fun and Gladio was just too tired to really enjoy it. Besides, he wasn’t Ardyn’s favourite anyway. But Gladio knew how to get things done, even if he wasn’t the man to do it.
Besides, if Ardyn was going to cheat, no one said Gladio couldn’t do it as well.
“Noct!” Gladio bellowed, really putting a lot of power into that one name. “Ardyn needs you!”
There was dead silence as Ardyn looked at Gladio in shock, partially at the sudden loudness and partially (mostly, Gladio suspected) because they both knew Noctis was Ardyn’s one weakness. Then the footsteps came pounding through the halls as Noct dashed over from wherever he’d been (Gladio really did have a powerful voice) to come to the rescue of his little ward.
Noct skidded into the room, his socked feet carrying him further than he’d intended and almost bashing him into the door. He looked concerned and worried and Gladio almost felt bad.
Almost.
“What happened? Is he okay? Are you okay? Is someone here? What’s wrong? Are—“ The words were a rush and Gladio could see Ardyn’s little brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to understand what his adopted father was saying. Gladio interrupted instead.
“Yoji needs a bath, Ardyn won’t give him up. Help?” Gladio turned on the charm and forced himself to look more tired and disheveled then he really was. It worked because Noct bit his lip in sympathy and looked at Ardyn in disappointment. He missed Gladio sticking his tongue out at Ardyn (hey, just because he was an adult didn’t mean he always had to act like one).
Noct came forward and knelt in front of arm, balancing himself on his knees and leaving his arms free.
Ardyn glared at Gladio in betrayal but allowed Noct to gently pull Yoji away and replace him with Gladio’s choice of plush.
“It’s just for the night, Ardyn. You can have Yoji back in the morning. Gladio will take good care of him, right?” That question was directed towards Gladio but it took the man a second (and a subtle cough from Noct) to answer in the affirmative. “See, there you go. He promised.”
Yoji, now safely tucked away in the crook of Gladio’s arm, had his freedom for the night. And once Ardyn went to bed…
There was a sniffle or two and Gladio saw giant crocodile tears well up in Ardyn’s big eyes, threatening to pour down his cheeks like twin rivers. Gladio was happy Prompto wasn’t here to witness this, he’d have cracked long ago. Never was good at denying a child anything, that one.
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Noct said soothingly as he cradled the little boy and pet his soft hair. Ardyn melted into the hug and jumped up, wrapping his legs around Noctis’s hips. It was a good thing the King was strong because Ardyn was not a light child.
“If it’ll make you feel better, you can sleep with me tonight.” There is was. The words that Ardyn seemed to have been waiting for. He beamed at Gladio from over Noct’s shoulder and Gladio realized he’d been played from the beginning. Ardyn didn’t care about Yoji being gone for the night – at least if he did, it wasn’t the end of the world. He wanted his favourite daddy, and he got him.
And, since Noct slept with Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio in one giant bed (Gladio thought about all the camping trips in which the same position was somehow wasted), that meant that Ardyn would be sleeping with
all of them
tonight. Shit.
Noctis was expecting a response from Gladio, clearly, because two pairs of gorgeous eyes were now staring him down. “Isn’t that right, Gladio?”
Gladio wasn’t sure what Noctis had said when he wasn’t listening but he knew he had to agree or face the wrath of his King and his lover.
“Yes, of course. Anytime.” Gladio grumbled, making sure everyone knew he was being bullied into it. They didn’t care, but Gladio didn’t expect them to.
“Good. Now Ardyn, let’s go see if Ignis has anything special cooking.”
“Okay!” Hand in hand, the two sped off leaving Gladio alone. He sighed through his nose and got up, rubbing his ass from where the floor had been less than cozy.
Time to get the toy washed and hung to dry – the faster the better. Then he’d join everyone else for dinner.
There would be no winners tonight. But they both had Noctis and in the end, that’s all either of them had ever wanted.