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The first time Louis found the cafe, it was the middle of February, and Louis was fucked up. He was making his way home from Bebe’s apartment, too focused on the neon signs to even notice the rain. Everything was in slow motion and fuzzy around the edges. Louis loved every minute of it. The ground looked like an oil slick and the reflections of the lights of the city looked like they were disappearing into the ground. It could have been because he was fucked up, but Louis found everything beautiful and poetic. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He figured that it was probably Harry or Liam, asking where he was or if he needed a ride since the buses never ran as late as it was. Louis ignored them and stood at a traffic light, staring at the lights without really seeing anything. He came back to himself when a car blasting loud music drove past dangerously fast. Which is when he noticed the sign for the cafe. Before he knew it, he was inside with a cup of hot chocolate and was sitting in the comfy armchairs in the back of the cafe. Louis was so out of it, that he didn’t realize that he was staring at at someone else who was sitting in a booth. He only snapped out of it when they slammed a textbook shut and got up to go talk to Louis. He looked tired and his hair was disheveled, but even in Louis’ fucked up state, he could tell that the stranger was really handsome. Louis looked up at him as he stopped in front of him. He had a really cool looking tattoo crawling up the side of his neck and a nose ring. “That tattoo is fucking sick dude,” Louis was still out of it, but he felt like he could hold a decent conversation with the guy. The guy just rubbed at the tattoo and shrugged off the compliment. “Thanks man. I was just wonderin’ if you knew that you were staring at me,” His voice was raspy, probably due to the fact that he most likely hadn’t talked in hours. Louis tilted his head onto his shoulder and shrugged. “Sorry if I was weirding you out, I’m fuckin’ smacked dude,” Louis could tell that his voice was slurring slightly. The other guy just smiled at him and sat down. Louis let his head drop onto his folded arms, it felt too heavy for him to hold it up anymore. The other guy just reached into Louis’ jacket pocket when his phone started ringing again and answered it, but by that that point Louis was mostly asleep. The next thing he registered was the smell of lemons and vanilla and being carried. Louis turned into Harry’s chest and curled up, pressing his face into Harry’s shirt. Louis vaguely heard Harry talking to someone but Louis was already drifting off and was more asleep than awake. ☁️ Louis rolled out of bed in the middle of the afternoon. The sunlight slanted golden through his window shades and lit up the mess that was his room. Stretching, Louis blinked lazily, looking at his clock on his bedside table. It was the middle of the afternoon and he missed at least half of his lecture that he had that day, but Louis couldn’t find it in himself to care. He knew that Liam will scold him when he got back from class. Liam would drone on about how Louis wad being irresponsible and letting his life slip through his fingers since he barely goes to any classes. It’s not his fault that it was the one class Louis didn’t want to take. Pulling on a random pair of somewhat clean sweatpants, Louis grabbed his phone and made his way to the kitchen to get some caffeine in his system. He wasn’t expecting anyone to actually be in the kitchen, since it was the middle of the afternoon, and everyone else had either work or class, but Harry was leaning against the counter on his phone, sipping on a coffee. He looked up at Louis as he stumbled into the kitchen and made his way over to him. Harry just moved over slightly to let Louis make himself make a cup of coffee, then went back to his phone. “Louis do you remember anything from last night?” Harry asked, once Louis had his coffee in hand. Louis looked up at him and shrugged, cradling his cup close to his chest. “I remember walking around and then a hot chocolate and piercings,” Louis tilted his head back and forth slowly, trying to remember more. “Other than that, I don’t remember a whole lot. Why?” “Because this guy named Zayn answered your phone when I was calling you and had to tell me to pick you up, since you were so fucked,” Harry tucked his phone into his back pocket, watching Louis with sad eyes. “This is the third time in a row that I had to go pick you up in the middle of the night, are you okay?” “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Louis didn’t want to talk about anything really. Harry worried too much, and when he worried he went to Liam and then Liam would lecture him even more because he also worries too much. Louis just rolled his eyes and made his way back to his room, planning on at least trying to get some homework done. Sitting on his bed, Louis stared at his laptop screen, and tried to muster up the energy to actually start writing his essay. The afternoon light was still streaming in through his windows, just highlighting how much of a mess his life was at the moment and reminded him of how much stuff he had to do. He heard his phone buzz from under his thigh, and Louis just closed his eyes and slumped down. Not for the first time, he wondered if going to college was even worth it. Eventually, Louis closed his laptop and shoved it down towards the end of the bed, and decided not to deal with his homework yet. Setting his now cold coffee onto the side table, he pulled his phone out from under his thigh. Bypassing all the texts from Liam and Lottie and a couple of his friends from different classes, Louis messaged Nate to see what he was up to. ☁️ Two weeks later, Louis was stumbling back into the cafe. He was not as fucked up as the last time, but still wasn’t sober. Ordering another hot chocolate, Louis made his way back to the same corner he sat in last time, and curled up completely on the armchair. The party he just left was a mess, and Louis knew that he shouldn’t’ve went. First, being the fact that he barely knew anyone there and was invited by a classmate he didn’t talk to ever. The second, being the fact that both Nate and Bebe, who usually are the two people always on board to party with him, turned him down since they actually care about their education. So he was back at the cafe again, actually kind of sober for once and lost in his thoughts. He was still ignoring the calls he kept getting, most likely from Liam this time since Harry was back home for a family thing. Sometimes wanted to just smash his phone and then drop off the face of the earth. He knew that wasn’t a possibility though, his mom and sisters would be extremely worried about him and also he can’t afford to smash his phone. Sighing loudly, Louis pulled his phone out and read over the notifications.
Liam: dont do anything stupid lou
4 Missed Calls from Liam
Liam:
dude seriously
Liam: dude where are you
Liam: also u missed class again
Liam: harry said he hasnt seen you all day
Harry: please dont do anything stupid lou
Harry: let me know if you need me to pick you up somewhere
Lots <3:
hey lou, im going to be coming down for the weekend, sorry this is real last minute, lol just got the time off from work.
Lots <3: ur probs out somewhere, call me when you get in. love u bro.
2 Missed Calls from Lots <3
Louis turned his phone off and shoved it back into his pocket, making a mental note to at least call Lottie back in the morning. Resting his forehead on the table, Louis seriously thought about dropping out of college. It was fun the first year, but now he was just tired and lost. He didn’t understand at least half of the stuff covered in class, he’d barely gone through a day completely sober and everything seemed to have lost it’s glimmer and was now just flat and depressing shapes. Louis hated it. Hated the hopeless feeling that he got whenever he tried to remotely do work. Hated how lost he feels almost constantly. Groaning, Louis thunked his head on the table, and shoved his now cold hot chocolate to the other side. He heard shuffling on the other side of the table, and something heavy dropped onto the table. Blearily, Louis looked up and first noticed a pinned up leather jacket and then a tattoo curving up out of their shirt collar and along the side of their neck. Looking up at the person’s face, Louis was taken aback by how gorgeous they were, and they even had a nose ring. Fuck. “Hey I don’t know if you remember me, but my name is Zayn,” Zayn said, moving his books and laptop around. “I kinda remember you, you don’t have an easily forgettable face to be honest,” Louis only partially mumbled that sentence which he was proud of, considering how tired he was. Zayn laughed softly and smiled at him, rubbing a hand against the side of his neck. “Thanks man,” Zayn watched him for a second, letting the silence gather before breaking it with the one question that Louis hates the most. “Are you okay man?” “Yeah I’m good, why?” “Dunno man, you just seem so tired. Like, you should probably get home and sleep,” Zayn sounded actually concerned for Louis’ wellbeing which was nice and also odd since Zayn was practically a stranger. Louis half shrugged and sighed loudly. “You know, that’s fair,” Louis pushed himself up, rubbing at his eyes with one hand as he turned his phone back on. He felt Zayn watching him from across the table, but Louis really couldn’t be bothered at this point. He was both emotionally and physically drained and he just wanted to sleep for five years. Once his phone was back on, he just stared at it, debating if he should actually bother Harry at this time of night or if he could just walk home. “Do you want me to get you home?” Louis glanced up at Zayn, looking him over. He looked really concerned and something else that Louis couldn’t pinpoint at the moment. Shaking his head, Louis shoved his phone back into his pocket and stood up, only wobbling slightly. “I’ll just walk home, thanks though,” Louis waved at Zayn as he left the cafe, standing under the awning as he watched the traffic lights. Tugging his hood up, Louis turned left and started making his way home, trying to not think of caramel eyes and silver nose rings. ☁️ Louis swiped Zayn’s number off of Harry’s phone and the two of them have been texting back and forth for the past couple of weeks. He found out that Zayn was actually in his last year of college and was getting ready for some internship at a big fashion company on the other side of the country over the summer before going to grad school. Whenever he mentioned his future, Louis felt like he was spiraling even further downwards since he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. Ideally, he would be an actor or do something with kids, but Louis never planned this far ahead when he was younger. So he was stuck in his second year of college, taking gen ed courses and feeling stagnant. Usually when he felt like this, he would’ve messaged one of his party friends to see what they were up to, but everyone he knew was hunkering down to study for their finals. So Louis would go out on his own, not even to party but to just get out of the apartment and wander around for hours. He kept ending up in the vicinity of that 24 hour cafe, but he never goes in. He just stands across the street from it, watching the traffic lights and the people walking by. People probably think that he’s off his mind on something since he just stands at the corner, not even crossing the street. His life was a fucking mess. It was towards the end of March when Louis went back into the cafe. He was feeling completely numb and lost, not sure if his life was going anywhere. He got an iced water since he was currently broke, and sat down in his usual arm chair. It was closer to the morning than when he usually showed up, but the rain was too loud back at the apartment and he felt suffocated just lying in bed overthinking. So he was back at the cafe again. For once, his phone was completely silent. No one was trying to contact him, asking where he was and telling him to be safe. He knew, logically, that it was because everyone he knew were asleep, so he did his best to ignore the voice in his head telling him that it was because no one liked him and that he wasn’t cut out for college. Of course, in the middle of his existential breakdown is when he gets a call from Zayn. Louis stared at the ringing phone long enough that it went to voicemail. When it lit back up again with Zayn’s name, Louis decided that not talking to Zayn would probably be worse for him than talking to him. “Hey,” Zayn sounded tired and Louis could hear something loud on his end. “Hey,” Louis whispered, watching the condensation on his glass, not really focusing on it. “What’re you up to right now?” “Just sitting in the cafe,” “Why’re you at the cafe? Do you need a ride home or something?” Zayn sounded concerned and Louis heard the loud sounds on his end growing distant, like Zayn was walking away from whatever it was. Louis just shrugged and fiddled with the end of his sweatpants. “Just… couldn’t breathe back in the apartment,” Louis shrugged and looked out the window, watching the rain hit the window. “Do you want to spend the night at my place?” “Where are you anyways?” “I’m leaving this shitty party at this dude’s house who is friends with a friend of mine,” Zayn sighed loudly as he said it, and Louis pictured him rolling his eyes. “I don’t know why I went, it was boring as hell.” “You sure you won’t mind me staying at your place?” Louis was still uncertain about spending the day, not knowing if him and Zayn are close enough. “Hundred percent. My roommate Niall is actually over at his partners place instead of sexiling me from the apartment,” Zayn laughed and Louis smiled slightly, huffing a quiet laugh. “Yeah I hate when Liam and Harry do that to me, it’s just gross and I don’t get it.” “Mood. Anyways, I’m on the way to the cafe, I’ll be there in five,” Zayn said and then hung up. Louis sighed and finished his water, uncurling from the chair and gathered his stuff. It was still drizzling outside. Standing under the outside awning, Louis watched the streetlight colors change and cars go by. The grey of the sky was lightening very slowly, and Louis was scared to check the time on his phone, knowing that it was way too late to be out, especially since he hasn’t slept in a day and Liam would probably be awake in an hour or so to go for his daily run. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Louis leaned against the damp brick of the building, debating whether or not he should smoke. It would add to the melancholic aesthetic that he’d apparently been going for in the last couple of months. Too bad he wasn’t an art major, because his current state of mind would definitely fit in with their whole thing, and it would be artsy depression and not just regular depression. Right as he was going to pull out his pack, Zayn walked up, his hair slightly damp and a bit falling into his eyes. Somehow, in the early morning light and rain, even with having just left a party, Zayn was still so beautiful. “Hey man, you okay?” Zayn’s asked, his voice soft and concerned. Louis shrugged and let out a short laugh. “Who knows anymore dude, I’m kind of just coasting at the moment,” Louis was looking at the ground as he said that, scuffing his shoes against the pavement. Zayn just sighed and grabbed Louis’ wrist, pulling him towards his apartment. “I texted Harry that you’re at mine since I know that you won’t tell him,” Zayn said, slipping his hand down so him and Louis were holding hands. Zayn’s hands were cold and when Louis looked down at them, they were stained with multiple colors, probably from some art project he’d been working on. Louis thought that they looked like a galaxy, though that might be the sleep deprivation talking. The two of them walked in comfortable silence, Louis not really paying attention to where they were going, half awake and not focusing on anything other than the pressure of Zayn’s hand in his. The sun slowly rose behind the clouds, bathing the town in a cold blue-grey light. By the time that Louis registered that it was actually daytime again, Zayn had pulled Louis up the stairs to his apartment. It was above some bakery or something, Louis kind of heard what Zayn told him when they were walking up the back staircase. He just kind of went by touch and followed wherever Zayn was leading him. So he didn’t question where the time went when he ended up on Zayn’s bed and was barely awake enough to take his phone out of his pocket and toss it somewhere next to him. He heard Zayn laugh quietly and felt him gently push his hands through Louis’ hair. Soon after that, Louis was out like a light. ☁️ By the time Louis woke up again, the sun was setting and Louis heard voices in the living room. Groggily sitting up, Louis rubbed his eyes with his hand, looking around. Zayn’s room was definitely neater than Louis’ could ever hope to be. There were art supplies strewn all over the place, but it seemed like an organized mess at least. Zayn also had a bunch of posters and prints all over his walls and some on the ceiling as well. It was nice and cozy. Getting out of bed, Louis grabbed his phone off of the nightstand and opened the door. It opened right onto the living room, and Harry was sitting on the couch, watching the tv and talking to Zayn. Louis, still half asleep, felt like he opened the door of some alternate reality. “Lou!” Harry exclaimed as he unfolded his gangly limbs off the couch and made his way over to Louis. Squinting at Harry, Louis clutches his phone to his chest and pushed his free hand through his hair, trying to wake up more. “What’re ya doin here?” Louis questioned, still in the processes of waking up. “Zayn texted like an hour or so ago, inviting me over to make sure you got home okay,” Harry gently grabbed Louis by his shoulders, ducking down a bit so he could look Louis in the eyes. “Are you okay?” “‘M fine, stop worrying,” Louis mumbled and wormed his way out of Harry’s hold, moving to the small kitchen so he could talk to Zayn. He was on his phone, leaning against the counter next to the oven, but he looked up when he heard Louis come in. “How’d you sleep?” “Good… Your bed is comfier than I expected,” Louis said as he opened up some cabinets, looking for cups. “What do you mean by that?” Zayn questioned as he gently moved Louis aside and opened up the correct cabinet. Shrugging at the question, Louis grabbed a mug and shut the cabinet, turning to face Zayn. “Dunno, just kind of figured it would be on the floor in a corner and covered in paper scraps or something. Do you have any chocolate milk?” Louis opened the fridge as he asked, acting more like his usual self now that he was fully awake. He heard Zayn chuckle behind him, which brought a smile to Louis’ face. “No, but there’s-” “Hey Lou?” Harry walked into the kitchen, cutting Zayn off. Louis looked over at him and shut the fridge, noting that Harry had his shoes and jacket on. “It’s getting late, we should probably head home.” “Yeah you’re right,” Louis sighed as he put the mug away. He turned back to face Zayn as Harry left the kitchen, saying that he’d go grab Louis’ shoes. Zayn smiled softly at Louis and moved over so they were standing next to each other. He nudged Louis with his arm, causing Louis to nudge him back. “Thanks for letting me stay the night,” Louis said quietly, taking Zayn’s hand in his own. Squeezing it gently, Louis smiled at Zayn. “Anytime you need to get out of the house, you can always come over.” “Even if it’s in the middle of the night?” “Especially then,” Zayn pulled Louis in for a hug. Louis stiffened up for a second before relaxing and wrapped his arms around Zayn, hugging him back. Zayn was slightly taller than Louis, and much warmer than he was expecting. Resting his head on Zayn’s shoulder, Louis closed his eyes and just soaked in how calming it felt to be hugged by Zayn. “Time to go Lou,” Harry came back into the kitchen, bringing Louis back into the present. Louis sighed as he pulled back from the hug, and squeezed Zayn’s hand again before thanking him once more and following Harry out the door. Louis quickly pulled his shoes on before following Harry down the stairs, he tugged his hood up and shrunk down into his hoodie. The peace he felt in Zayn’s apartment was slowly dissipating. Back to the real world. ☀️ Late May was Louis’ favorite time of year, mostly because that’s when it started to finally get warm out and stay warm out. The days were getting longer as well so it wasn’t as weird to be out late, at least that’s what he told Liam whenever he asked. School was also out for the summer, somehow Louis managed to sit through his exams and passed them with okay grades. Harry and Liam were staying in town until the end of June before leaving on a cross country road trip. Louis had a sneaking suspicion that the two of them were going to propose to each other on the trip, which is something that Louis felt like had been a long time coming. Over the last month or so, him and Zayn had gotten closer and figured that it would be best for the two of them to get an apartment together for the next school year. They were apartment hunting when their days off from work lined up, which wasn’t as often as Louis liked. Today though, they both had a few days off in a row so Louis was spending them at Zayn’s while apartment hunting. Louis always felt the calmest and happiest whenever he was hanging out with Zayn or when they were just on the phone with each other, doing their own thing. It felt like they were dating, and Louis was a hundred percent on board with that idea. “Hey Lou?” Zayn leaned over the couch and dropped his head onto Louis’ shoulder, looking at Louis’ laptop screen. Louis leaned back further into the couch, pausing the movie he was watching. “What’s up?” He asked as he looked over at Zayn, leaning back a bit so he could be able to focus on him, and so they didn’t knock into each other. “I was thinking. Do you maybe want to get a studio apartment and also be my boyfriend?” Zayn sounded nervous and confident at the same time like he had been practicing it for a while. Louis just grinned widely and shrugged. “I’d be honored to be your boyfriend,” Louis responded and leaned up, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s neck, and dragged him down onto the couch into a hug, laughing as Zayn started yelling, attempting to tickle Louis in retaliation. Life was good.