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As the cold winter breeze fills the bedroom, the curtains flow flawlessly while the wind enters the small window towards the other end of the bed. Posters of horses, flowers, bands, and guitars occupy the four walls of the room. It is blue everywhere from the wallpaper, carpet, curtains, closet, and even the small bed. The room size is enough to fit the ten year old girl, who was laying down to prepare herself for bedtime.The little girl gets herself comfortable underneath her thick cowgirl-themed blanket then proceeds to rest her head gently on the soft pillow. Once the little girl finds her gaze on the tall man, who is sitting on the right edge of the bed, she stares at his hand. She slowly brought out her arm to him, and carefully placed her little hands in his large ones, then she grips them tightly.“It’s too cold.” She shivers underneath the covers as the man laid out his free hand to caress her left cheek.“Want me to close the window?” Her father's voice was low but gentle. The little girl nodded slowly. That was the cue for the man to stand up and head to the window. The little girl observes as she was doing nothing at that moment. She looks at how he closes the window gently to prevent any loud noise. Since it’s getting late, the last thing he wants to do is wake up the other people who are in the house with them.“There.” The man remarks as he reclaims his spot on the edge of the bed. He took a seat carefully and begins fixing the sheets he accidentally messed up.“Papa, can you tell me a story?” the little girl pleaded. She shows off her doe-like eyes even if her father already makes an effort to tell her stories every night before she goes to sleep.“What kind of story, baby?” He wants a more specific answer since she knows a lot of stories that he told already. Maybe she wants something old, or maybe something new.“Anything that’s interesting, Papa.” The little girl’s excitement can be heard beneath her tired, sweet, and high pitched voice.“Hmm. That’s a slightly different request from your previous ones.” He chuckles before pausing a little bit to think, “But sure, I know one,” he finishes with a soft smile.The little girl gets herself comfortable as a sign that she’s preparing herself to hear the story. The man takes a deep breath before beginning his story.“This is a story about a deer and a lamb.” The man begins with a low and firm tone.“What?!” the little girl becomes surprised, “Of all the animals that you could pair, you decided to go with the ones that completely make sense.” The man cannot help but giggle since his daughter practically squealed then turned a little snarky with her remark.
Everyone learns that the lion is the king of the jungle, but, under these circumstances, it was different. The deer was the leader of the beautiful and vast, green forest. He had long legs that could help you run for hours even days, sturdy hooves that sends off a loud thump every time he took a step, striking eyes that could pierce through anything he stared at, and large antlers that could take down anyone who would dare to knock him on his way. Every animal in the forest was intimidated by his presence.
"Okay, papa. I would kinda take it back. This deer sounds scary," the girl comments."Is he?" The man smirks then proceeds.
Deep inside that tough deer was a tender heart. A deer who would do anything and everything for his family and was willing to risk it all for the ones he love. He looked that tough on the outside, but, deep down, he was just caring and sweet. That aura of his had no one daring to go at least 10 meters within his reach. His family was an exception, of course. On the outside, he liked that, but he secretly hated it. He liked to keep that a little secret between him and his loved ones.
"I don't know why, but this sounds familiar.""Maybe it does, sweetheart." The man smiles while softly patting the top of his daughter's head.
One morning, he was doing his rounds. He ran for what felt like hours. Suddenly, he stopped. It gave him the chance to notice every little detail of his surroundings. He saw every leaf, twig, and grass around him. He heard the birds chirping and the wind whispering. He inhaled that sweet scent, enticing his full attention. The scent led him to a bush. He decided to utilize it to hide as he tried going nearer to the scent that was too alluring to be ignored. He let his antlers blend in and makes sure that the hooves weren't too loud. Eventually, his eyes went darker as the scent became stronger. It gave him the power to keep on walking. That was until he saw the beautiful white cloud on the other side of the bush, a little lamb.
"This is the part where it doesn't make sense," the little girl giggles.
The lamb is just plain gorgeous. She has shiny pink legs and soft white wool. Something that was expected, yet mesmerizing about her. She has this beautiful eyes that you could get lost in for hours. But most importantly, she had that scent that could make you track her down for days, weeks, and even months. The deer slowly moved its way out of the bush on the moment the lamb felt like someone was looking right at her. The deer stopped on his tracks while the lamb was pinned to the ground even if she was intimidated by his large figure. He was the dangerous deer and she was this gentle lamb. Still, he kept his attention on her even if the power she had on him was scaring him.
"So this huge deer is scared of a gentle white lamb," the little girl remarks, "seriously?""It's the story, lil' princess." Her father was always patient. This time is never different.
Even if that part about her was scary, it was a first and it meant so much to the deer. No one ever did that even his family; let alone be near his presence. He was amazed by this little lamb, in which, he started to be more drawn into her. He did what he knew what was best. He retreated back into the bush, but there was something about the lamb going forward that made him stop. It was as if she wanted him to stay. The deer was about to take a step forward, then he heard two twigs snap. As the lamb heard, she slowly retreated, then she ran away. The deer was terrified, because he might've just lost the lamb forever.
The man fixes her blanket as he ends the story. He can’t help but look at his little girl to see how she will react. “What? That’s it, Papa?” her tone sounds frustrated. "You know I don't like cliff hangers!" She whined then pouted. He chuckled briefly before giving a short answer, “Yes, baby. Good night.” As the final touch, he places one soft kiss on top of the girl’s forehead. “Good night, Papa.” The little girl replies with a sweet voice. She gives him a little kiss on the cheek before the man stands up and heads for the door. The man slowly closed the door as he looked at his daughter one more time before eventually leaving. “Papa?” The little girl says it just in the nick of time before the man completely closes the door.
“What is it, baby?” He keeps the door slightly opened as he patiently waits for what his daughter is going to say.
“Did the deer find the lamb?” Curiosity does run in the family.
“That’s for you to find out.” The man smiles before shutting the door carefully.
The next morning, the man is preparing their breakfast along with the little girl’s older brother. As she heads down the stairs, she hears a three soft knocks from their front door.
“Can someone get that for me?” the man shouts from the kitchen.
“I’ll get it, Papa,” she remarks excitedly.
The little girl rushes to the front door. She tiptoes to reach the knob and turns it slowly. Once she got to open the door, she squeals and jumps at their guest.
“Nonna! Grandpa!” The little girl immediately goes into her grandpa’s arms.
"Hi little one!" her grandpa landed a soft kiss on her forehead, while her nonna on her cheeks.
"Morning, Grandpa! Morning, Nonna!" the little girl smiles from ear to ear since she's extremely happy to see her grandparents.
“Who is it, Ara?” the man inquires coming from the kitchen. His face goes from curious to shocked the moment he saw his parents.
“Ma! Pa! Hi!” He mirrors his child's excitement while going to his parents for a hug.
“Hi, baby boy!” The lovely lady says as she brings the man into her arms. The little girl’s grandpa went inside and closed the door for his lady, while carrying his granddaughter in his arms.
"You need some help in the kitchen, King?" The girl's grandpa offered."Your timing is perfect! I'm making breakfast with my boy.""I'll leave you with baby Ara," the girl's grandpa smiles before kissing her nonna on the cheeks and forehead then putting the girl down carefully."Grandpa, I'm not a baby anymore," she puts her hands on her hips and proceed to pout which had everyone in the room laughing.Her grandpa shakes his head while smiling before he goes to the kitchen with her dad. "Your grandpa is obsessed with pet names. I can attest to that." She felt a soft hand running through her hair. It's so soothing that she's glad her dad got it from her nonna."Nonna," she looks up while they slowly follow the guys towards the kitchen, "has grandpa always been very sweet with you?""The way you ask questions is exactly like your dad," Nonna giggles, "But, yes. Your grandpa is the sweetest guy in the world. He looks buff, but he's perfect.""You're blushing!" Ara cheerily points out which caught the attention of all the guys in the room."That's normal, baby," her dad chuckles while nudging at her grandpa.Everyone proceeds to eat breakfast at the dining area. The little girl spent the entire meal looking at her nonna and grandpa. She observes them back and forth especially when there came a moment where they talk and interact in their own little bubble. Nonna asks questions here and there about their overall plans during the holidays. Once the little girl gets the puzzle pieces together, she glances at her dad who just finished taking a bite from his breakfast."Papa," she begins."What is it, baby?" He gives his full attention to her and casually placed his elbow on the table for support."I think I figured it out!" she squeals. Her father immediately knew what she was referring to while everyone else at the table was confused."I think the deer found the lamb."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
If there is a day that takes to long for it to finish, then this is the freaking one. They have been trying to hire a Senior Vice President for the Interior Design department, but none of the applicants seem to qualify for the position. He interviewed the applicants himself and he can tell right from the first question that they would not fit what the company stands for. He doesn't want conventions or over the top designs. He wants someone who knows how to connect with the client and channel their creativity through their work. For him, that's what makes it genuine and authentic. It's not the music industry, but he believes that it still applies to this field.He writes down another note on the file of the latest applicant interviewed. He can't seem to get it right. His temper was on the ropes because he has talked to about 15 people since 8:30am. "Kelly." His assistant immediately goes in as he watched the applicant exit his office. He hands over the file and Kelly knew exactly what to do."She still ain't it for you?" Kelly flips through the file while he tries to massage his forehead with his hand while leaning towards the armrest."I just can't find the right person." A short breath follows. He bit his lower lip and rearranged himself on his seat. Apart from Kelly being his assistant, she is a friend. She was committed to her job and respected the difference between colleagues and friends. He is grateful for that especially for this day because he probably would've lost it if Kelly doesn't remind him to calm down every after interview. "You and your high standards." It was meant to come out as a joke, but he didn't immediately picked that up. Talking to a bunch of people wasn't his forte lately. It's why these days of interviews aren't just cutting it out. The designs pass through the first stage of application, but the personality of the people that walk in to his office are something he just can't pick up yet.He just looks at Kelly and didn't respond. He takes another short breath and looks back on the pile of portfolios with the resumes. He has looked through them many times within the day. Not one urge to call any of them back yet has resurfaced. He leans towards his desk and fumbles with the pen that's probably reached its breaking point from writing the same thing on every applicant profile. He was too busy to notice that Kelly actually left and walked back in."Sir, look." Another profile is within his reach. He only sees a portion of the drawing that was a bit exposed from the folder and it caught his attention. "I know your tired, but I took a quick peek at this portfolio. It's perfect. I think you'll like her too. She looks professional and ready."The portfolio wasn't his problem. Designs can be improved, but personality takes a bit while longer to do so and work with properly. Not to brag but there is a reason why employees in this company last even if it takes him forever to find the right person for the position. He doesn't need perfect. He just can't pin point exactly, but he knows when that's it. He decides to look at Kelly with the same expression before every interview."Trust me." Kelly's positivity seemed to be infectious to everyone but not for him today. "I have seen her interact with people here and I know it. She's it." He responds a questioning look and Kelly picked up on it quick. "She's sort of a last minute applicant. She just sent her portfolio this morning. The HR took a while 'cause of the pile of applicant profiles. I promise she's the last one for today." His assistant was talkative for sure. It compensates for his lack of words. At least, there was some blessing to it."I need your word. Do you want to let her in or have her tomorrow like first thing in the morning?" Is talkative the actual correct term here? If the day wasn't so draining, he would've appreciated Kelly's efforts more.He grabs the file in front of him and starts to flip through the designs. Kelly got the signal and decided to walk out of his office briefly. The file was completely new because it wasn't sitting on his table for days. His heart started beating faster as he reviewed everything. He doesn't know why his chest was beating its way out of him, but he has to admit that the designs are impressive. He lingers a few seconds longer for each one that he sees. The designs looked like a perfect collaboration. He sits straight on reflex and got a little tense when he heard his office door open. A little panic surges through him since he hasn't reach the profile yet and he's about to interview the lady."Sir, this is -" His heart was beating a little too fast that he did not hear what Kelly said. He fixes himself once again on his chair and did not let go of the portfolio. He was trying to relax himself, but he can't. After a few seconds, he gives up, lets out a short breath, and gently puts down the file to be exposed to whoever was sitting on the other side of the table."Sir." Kelly calls out again. He immediately looks at her and raises his eyebrows in curiosity. "Sir, this is our last applicant for today." Kelly smiles then redirected her gaze while he was mindlessly looking down at the file, "Ma'am, have a seat." "Thank you." The low sultry sound hits his ears and he swore his vision got a little blurry."Are you alright, Sir?" Now he was sure that it was Kelly's voice."Yeah." It took all of his strength to blurt it out and took another short breath. He collects himself and tries to go over this last interview even if he's experiencing all kinds of sensations he couldn't explain. Once he looks towards the lady's direction, his heart almost stopped. She looks breathtaking. He had the time to look at her and her style was the perfect balance of fashionable and professional. From the looks of it, she had natural makeup which gave more importance to her real features. He was unconsciously staring and noticed how she got a little tense. This was an interview and the lady has been waiting an entire day. He has to collect himself and make it easier on her."I'm sorry I didn't hear your name properly." She got a bit calmer after he spoke and they try to sit straight in unison to look more proper. "What's your name, ma'am?""Gwen." She lets out her hand and gave out a smile. "I'm Gwen Stefani."It took a minute to register because her voice sends him off his head. He immediately stands up and carefully shakes her hand. "I'm Blake." He forgot to say his position because, the moment their hands touched, he spent most of his energy relieving the chills that went through the bottom of his spine."Good to meet you," she smiles while they both sat down. He lets out another short breath and flips through her designs again until he finds her profile."How long have you been making designs?" This was not the first question he was supposed to ask. Suddenly, the first question he has been asking all day was forgotten deep in his mind when the last applicant was there 20 minutes ago."I have been designing since I was a kid. Not always professionally but I do try to convert anything that my mind comes up with to art. That's how I see interior design for the most part." She was composed. Kelly does have a point when she said she looked ready."For the most part?" He was too focused on her to remember what she initially said."I also think it's about collaboration. Creativity is something you're supposed to share with other people. We work with a bunch of other designers in this industry and it's only right that you try to translate both of your thoughts into the work you put out." She knows her thing. He looks down again and is unable to utter a response at the moment."Your designs are incredible." He wants to compliment her without being too obvious. "I'd like to know how you create this and what inspires you?" He was finally getting it right after a couple of minutes in. It didn't follow the order of questions he liked, but it was enough for the time being. He inhales right after to collect himself and notices how good she smells."Some of those designs are collaborations and others were something I came up with." He observes how she properly faces him and asks permission if she could grab some of the papers. He gestures to let her and she continues. "This one is my dream compound for my family. I incorporated their taste while adding something modern to it. This specific house right here is inspired by one of our roots because my dad is part Italian and there is a certain way he wishes his house to be arranged." He was in awe of how every bit made sense the more she explained. The designs can speak for themselves, but hearing her inspiration and seeing her light up about it made his day. "This design is one of the very first collaborations I had." He lost focus for a bit when he watched her move through the papers and pick up another one. He fixes himself on his seat and focuses on the paper she was holding. "This was with a teacher I had in high school. She wanted me to help her design her house. We talked about how she envisioned it to be and how her kids would like the combination of colors since she want it to feel like home. I gave her a couple of options that can fit her taste, her children's preferences, and their budget. I came up with this cabin inspiration that had downtown vibes to it to match the Los Angeles scene."The passion that he sees from this woman blows his mind away. He took another deep breath and he smiles. He finally found her actual profile and reads through it while asking something related to the design. "I assume that she immediately liked it?""She did." He looks back at her to see her face light up and his heart skipped two beats. He swallows to recompose himself and nods before looking down again. "She said it was right up her alley and exactly how she envisioned it would be. Her house is done now and I check in with her especially with how the kids are doing in their new home."He smiles involuntarily and presses his lips together. He looks up to find her hopeful expression while keeping her professional stance. "That sounds amazing." He speaks almost a little too fast and too soft. Right then and there, he forgot his next question. Panic rises in his chest again. As a resolution, he looks down at the profile and realizes that she worked for one big company that he recognizes. This company had nothing but the best designers in the industry. To last long the way she did, she has to have some talent. She was based in New York which piqued his curiosity since it was mentioned that she was born and raised here in California."You worked for one of the biggest design firms of the industry." He knows he's not a rapper, but here he is. "Why change companies when you've worked there for a long time?" That was too fast for his liking.He almost obviously sighed in relief when she comprehended his question. "Honestly, I'm looking for a little change of environment." He saw the sincerity in her answer which got him eager to listen more and completely leaning to his desk. "I think the best way to do that is to go back to my roots here in California and learn more about what I can in this field. I think I can improve and create better designs in that way especially for this company."He listened to her answer but was too slow to respond. On reflex, he presses his lips together then swallows. He ends up nodding before looking back at her file. He was too late to notice that she actually put the papers back properly on top of the actual folder. He peeks a little to watch her fingers play with each other. He know she's nervous because he went silent. "That is a good idea." Anything to help make it seem that he doesn't despise her would work. He moves his office chair a little bit and watches her form a small smile. She smells really good and he tries to subtly clear his throat to gain back his focus. He pauses too long before throwing in another question that is not supposed to be asked in this part yet. "Do you think your environment helps with the flow of your creativity?" He decided to go that route since it was the closest to what she talked about."As I mentioned, yes. I think it helps." She starting to look more like the boss here 'cause she looks calmer than he did. "Having a good environment inspires you to become better because the people and things around you are encouraging you, inspiring you, and genuinely helping you. That also helps in seeing things for a brighter perspective which will manifest once you finish the designs." She pauses and he wants to hear more from her since he forgot his next question. She seems to pick it up and he almost sighed in relief again. "When the environment is different, you also get to learn more about what you do since it's a different scene. Of course, you learn more about yourself too which helps in making sure your designs stand out 'cause it is meant to be personalized with a touch of your client's preferences."He lost her in the middle of it because he was probably staring but regained his senses back enough to remember the question he was supposed to ask. He nods and smiles first to acknowledge what she said. He was trying to observe her if it was fine that he wasn't talking much. She doesn't seem too bothered by it. "Why do you want to work here?" First, he was a rapper. Now, he had too many pauses. His heart was pounding 'cause all he prays is that she doesn't make a big deal out of it."With the way your company has treated its employees and clients, I do believe I have many opportunities to grow here, individually and professionally. I also have a lot to offer when it comes to giving an opinion and advice about interior design since I have a lot experience with it and my journey has been nothing but full of learning all I can in this field." She exhales after that long answer, but he isn't fazed by it. She did better in this interview that he did. He looks into her eyes and notices how beautiful they are with the hazel brown color.He takes a deep breath and suddenly remembers he hasn't responded to her yet. He recovers as soon as he could and hopes she will not notice. "Thank you, Gwen. I liked how you answered everything genuinely but professionally." He's not reporting for a high school project, but he stutters."Thank you too, Sir Blake." She briefly licks her bottom lip and he had to rearrange his sitting position and cling to the pen he was playing with minutes earlier. "I know you had to interview a lot of people today, so thank you for this opportunity.""It's no problem." That was too fast again. He cleared his throat and repeated. "It is no problem. That's all for this interview. Hope you do well." That was also not the last sentence he was supposed to say, but his mind was out of statements to utter.She initiates the handshake once again to close their conversation formally. On reflex, he fixes his suit, stands up, and shakes her hand. He had to take a deep breath through the entire thing and tried to force his eyes away from her for a bit, so it wouldn't look like he's staring. She had blond hair that looked soft. He's curious to know how she takes care of it and her entire wellbeing. Only then he noticed how in good shape she was when she stood up. He takes another deep breath and say what he was supposed to say. "We'll call you about the update of your application." It wasn't rapped, so it would suffice."Thank you, Sir. I'll be looking forward to it." He forgot to let go of her hand that he has to gently pull it away to look like he isn't panicking. He watches her grab her purse and walk away slowly from his desk. "Wait." That wasn't supposed to come out, but it was too late. She looks back at him with her hair doing a small flip. He stood up straight to compose himself. "Have a good day ahead." He wasn't supposed to say anything else, but he had to pay the consequence of his actions. She smiled back at him which is always a blessing ever since he met her."Thank you." She briefly nods and proceeds to exit his office.His heart was pounding as he tried to take a seat. He intertwines his fingers and redirects his gaze towards Gwen's profile that has her picture. He pays attention to all the details of her face then eventually realizes he was staring too long. He clumsily grabbed the paper and stood up to go to the window. He looks down to try and see if he can catch her walking out of the building. When he doesn't, he looks at her profile and mindlessly runs his thumb through the side especially her picture.He likes Gwen. He meant professionally. He likes the way she answered his questions even if some were unplanned. Stupid brain. She is definitely the one he and the company are looking for. He doesn't need recurring meetings unlike how the others went to know. He feels his heart beat through his suit that he looks afar to try to calm it down.Blake puts the paper back on his desk and proceeds to the other side to see his colleagues through the part of the glass that wasn't covered. He was tall enough to do that. His mind drifts back to Gwen. He thought he was staring and pausing too much. He got too nervous that he took another deep breath; something that he was repeating throughout the entire interview."Sir Blake." He snapped out of it and didn't expect Kelly to come in that fast. He looks at her and catches Kelly grinning. "I assume it went well because you two took 40 minutes to talk."Blake's eyes widened. He knows the interview wasn't that long and that Kelly was joking. He shakes his head in disbelief. "She's your favorite applicant. Isn't she?" She jokes.He looks away and proceeds to walk back to the view his office gave him. He puts his hands in their respective pockets and mindlessly wanders around the busy city in front of him."I'm calling it. You like her!" Kelly teases. Blake looks down and taps his shoe carelessly since he wasn't listening. His mind goes back to how she carried herself better than he did. He notices how she always bit a part of her lower lip after answering something or the way her eyes light up when she talked about the inspiration of her designs early on."Blake, are you still in here?" That took him out of his headspace 'cause he knows it's his bestfriend. He looks over his shoulder to find Adam right next to Kelly."He arrived almost the same time as Gwen entered your office. I told him you had to an interview, so he waited." Kelly proceeds to babble and he's glad he didn't have to ask. He nods to acknowledge then heads back to his desk to fumble with the papers of Gwen's profile. He was supposed to arrange it, but he forgot how it was piled when he first opened it. He looks at them back and forth then keeps going back to Gwen's profile. He sits back on his chair after a while and took another short breath."Dude. You're so checked out." Adam's voice finally hits his ears. Blake looks up to find his curious gaze. "15, well 16, interviews doesn't do that to you. Usually, you're grumpy." Apparently, Adam was also talkative.He presses his lips together and looks to the side absent-mindedly. He leans back towards his desk only to notice Adam already took a seat at where Gwen was initially."Wait a minute." His friend's eyes widen as he peeked into her profile that was once again on the top of the pile of papers. "You interviewed THE Gwen Stefani." He doesn't know why there has to be an emphasis on the 'the," but he lets it pass. "Dude, she's like huge.""She's petite." He points out absent-mindedly again. That was supposed to be a thought..."Stupid." Adam snorts. "I meant she's huge huge." Once more, he doesn't comprehend the emphasis 'cause he was staring at her designs since her profile was being held by Adam. He snaps out of it and carefully gets the paper from Adam."I only know the company she worked for." He reads through that sheet of paper again and he knows he can recite the details of it like he's presenting the multiplication table back in first grade."You are in for a-" Adam gets cut off, a rare occasion, which caught his full attention. He looks up to find him bringing out his phone and sliding his finger on the screen to answer the call."In for what?" He almost looked like he didn't care that Adam was in a different conversation. He keeps his clueless gaze on him until his friend faces him and places his arm on his desk."I need to go. Behati needs me." Adam smiles briefly and quickly pats him on the back before he stood up and walks his way out."Wait. Hey." He was close to shouting because Adam was quick to get to his office door. "In for what? Adam!" He stands up and Adam is gone. He's back to massaging his forehead again and briefly closing his eyes. Shivers went up his spine that he had to do a little breathing exercise to ease it.He sits down almost too carelessly and grabs Gwen's profile again. He then goes to her designs and observes each of them one more time before finally trying to arrange it. He knows what he wants and what he has to do. He lingers on her picture once again before grabbing his pen to sign Gwen's resume."Kelly!" That was too loud for his liking, but it was already spitted out. "I need to ask you about something.""Right on, Sir Blake." She almost broke his glass door from rushing in to his office. "What is it?""How the hell do you pronounce this one person she worked with?"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
For a few seconds, her focus flew out of the window when she entered his office. She waited the entire day for the interview because she understood that her resume was a last-minute submission. Kelly, who she immediately became friends with, remains nice to her even if she was going back and forth between floors the entire day. She got a chance to talk to her when it was two hours before her interview. She remembers that Kelly briefly told her how Blake was a really nice guy. Well, he is, but he looked sort of intimidating.Don't get her wrong. She acknowledges that he is nice because she saw how he let her talk about her passion freely, but his pauses made her more anxious as every second went on. She tried to understand that maybe because she was a last-minute applicant that he hadn't had the time to study her resume. There are moments where she read like him a book with his gestures. Even then, it never fails to make her nervous. While waiting for Kelly to give her the company calling card, she reminisced how she tried her best to remain prim and proper even if her heart rate was shooting through the roof. She expected the challenging questions, but it was really more about how Blake's large and somewhat intimidating figure that catches her off guard."Alright! Here's the credit, I mean calling card," Kelly whips her head towards her direction that Gwen almost expressed her worry for the sudden movement."Thank you, Kelly," she smiles. "You did help me ease my nerves during the pre-interview." She takes a deep breath as the interview briefly goes through her brain again."So, how did it go?" She chuckles because she only met her today, but the way they talked was a perfect mix of casual and professional."He was kind of intimidating for me," she rubs her neck because her heart rate was not anywhere near normal once again. She forgot to say one more detail that she immediately followed it up, "but he's nice. I just-" She ran out of words to say."He pauses or like checks out a lot?" Kelly raises her eyebrow in a most concerned way which piqued Gwen's interest. It must have been written all over her face because Kelly continued. "He is like that for the past years. It's not really who he is, but I hope it comes around soon." Kelly's tone changed as she went on, eventually falling on worried. That made her even more curious. She was about respond something, but she was surprised at Kelly's efforts to change the subject. "Don't you think he's hot?" Blush was probably an understatement because Kelly nudged her and easily pointed out how she went red. Okay, she has to admit that Blake in a suit and jeans plus his large figure does make him look manly. He was not entirely her cup of tea, but it was also one of the first things she noticed right when she entered. He was busy reading her file and, because he took a bit long to respond, she sort of stared a bit too long as well. She realizes that she hasn't responded yet and notices how big Kelly's grin is which had her biting her lower lip."Oh my god," Kelly says almost a bit too loud, but thank God the office was busy. "You think he's hot!""No," she spits out as her eyes widen, "I mean, well he is kinda, but I don't-" She was shocked at what she just spit out. Her brief pauses in between did not help either. She looks at Kelly who's grin became wider if that was even possible."Girl, I saw you look at him while he was rummaging through your portfolio," Kelly nudges again. She was going to die of embarrassment especially if someone was eavesdropping in their conversation. She recites a quick prayer in her head in hopes that nobody else was listening. "You know-" Kelly's pause grabs her attention, but, before she had the chance to look, Kelly was talking again. "Oh wait. I remembered that sir Adam is here. I'd love to chat some more, but I still got some duty calls. I hope to see you soon, alright?" Gwen just nods while she watches Kelly go back into Blake's office. She lets out a long exhale before looking at the calling card she was holding. Above everything else, she still hopes she gets the job. She's not entirely sure what was Blake's role in the company because, apparently, she and Kelly didn't get to talk about that part. She guesses that he probably is related to the Interior Design department to get the opportunity to interview for someone who will have a position there. She glances around one more time before she heads on to the elevator to leave the building.She took the cab to get to her new house. She does not regret selling her old car because she remembers how bad traffic is in LA and the memories along with it. She may still have to buy a new one, so she can visit her parents in Anaheim. That would be a different task for another day. She is ecstatic to see some of the new furniture arrive once she got home, which meant she has the chance to decorate her house now.She was busy opening the box that she almost jumped in surprise when she heard her doorbell. She rushes to the door and is immediately surprised to know who was waiting on the other side. "Jen! Todd! Hi guys!" She went to hug her sister-in-law first then her brother. She doesn't know why they had come all the way here, but she is happy to see them."We were supposed to help you find your new house, but the kids got us hooked up. They're with mom and dad though, so we thought we'd see you now." Todd is quick to explain after letting go from their hug. She immediately invites them inside the house and got startled that Todd didn't let her close the door for them."I miss Stella and Leo." She loves kids which is why she's grateful she gets to spoil her niece and nephew every once in a while. "How are they?""They're doing great, but they miss their Auntie." She sees the look in Todd's face that had her smile slowly fading. "They appreciate you fulfilling their requests for toys and stuff, but they really want to hang out with you.""I promise. I'll make it up to them," she reassures. She's back in California; that makes going to her family easier than going from the east coast. She and Todd smile at each other as they acknowledge how things will hopefully change for the positive from now on."Okay. Two weeks in and you're decorating this house already." She laughs at Jen's comment because she knew how aware her sister-in-law is with her obsession to decorate everything."You know that I'm excited for this new life ahead of me, Jen." She gets a little sentimental and it was immediately picked up by Jen that she gave her a side-hug. They stayed in that position for a while, but she gets startled again when Todd handles the boxes. "Todd, it's fine. I got it." "I know you do." She swears she could almost cry with her brother's warm smile. "We're here now, Gwen. You're not alone in New York anymore. Anaheim is legit a near drive. We're glad your back here." She immediately hugs her younger brother because of his words. She and Todd were an unstoppable duo growing up since it was only the two of them as siblings. Gwen was older, wiser, and goal-driven. Todd is the risk-taker, but he is also smart. Her dad raised him to be a loving and gentle man which is why he married his high school sweetheart, Jen. She wishes so hard it was like that as well for her although it was Todd who inherited the luck from her parents when it comes to love.Love. The concept wasn't foreign to her, but it does shock some memories back into her system. She had that for sure. Unfortunately, she wasn't lucky like Todd. The kind of love she had wasn't as gut-wrenching to remember now that it was a couple of months back, but it hurt her enough to get her to move back to her home state even if she didn't spent the latter half of her life here."Technically, I wasn't alone in New York." She counterargues in hopes to distract her mind from going into deep thinking again."Okay. Whatever you say," Todd shrugs letting her win. "Do you want to go out with us and eat?""I am definitely not third-wheeling again." She punches her brother's arm lightly that had the trio giggling. "I'm cooking pasta though. Do you guys want me to pack you some?""I miss your pasta! As long as you have enough for yourself, we definitely won't mind bringing some home," Jen claps in excitement while she was shaking her head. She was not a professional chef, but her Italian blood does give her a slight advantage in making great pasta dishes. "By the way, how did your interview go? It was today right?" She is grateful they went along with her change in subject. The interview wasn't exactly the best topic to go to because she suddenly remembered Blake again, but it would suffice."Yeah, it was today," she starts. "It went well. I have a chance at getting in, but we'll see. I have to look for more options in case I don't get in." She doesn't go into details about the interview itself since she also remembers how mortified she was during her conversation with Kelly hours earlier."Oh please," Jen comments as if it wasn't a big deal. "If they don't hire someone with your credentials, they are missing out.""Jen, this is different. I know that Lucé is a big company, but I think this one is also a big deal because when I looked up some firms based here, this was one of the top results." She goes into the kitchen briefly to grab a glass of water for both Todd and Jen. When she returns, the girls sat on the couch as Todd was unloading stuff from boxes when she gave him his water."What's the name of the firm you're applying for?" Todd asks while he goes to the next box to open it with the cutter he was holding."Shelton Enterprises." She says before standing up and rearranges the plant on the coffee table. She was met with silence that causes her to look back in curiosity. She sees Todd and Jen looking at each other before looking back at her. The expression on their faces confuses her that she decides to break the silence. "What?""Do you even realize how big that company is?" Jen states as if she had a mind-blown moment when she heard the name."I am aware. I figured out that Lucé has collaborated with them before too." She points out casually before taking a seat again momentarily on the couch."It's the biggest design, engineering, and architectural firm here in the US." Todd explained. This piece of information was sort of new to Gwen because, although she was aware that Shelton Enterprises is a big company, she doesn't how big. "The owner of it started small, but he became one of the youngest successful entrepreneurs ever. It's a shame that he's a bit of a private guy though. People who work there do say that he's nice.""He has a picture somewhere in the internet. I have this little crush on him because he is hot." Jen brought out her phone and she almost laughed at the jealous look she saw on her brother's face. "I'm sorry, honey. I love you so much though." Her sister-in-law sends a flying kiss to Todd. Gwen laughs again at how quick he was to let it pass.Jen was still busy rummaging through her phone when the microwave sends out a loud 'ting'. She immediately understood that her pasta was done. While she is busy grabbing the trays from the oven, she heard the doorbell ring again. She knew she can't multi-task at the moment, so she shouts, "Can somebody get that for me?""I got it!" She knew that was Todd and, now, she is more grateful to have their company tonight.She sets the different trays over the counter top to let them cool first before she eats dinner. She immediately notices Jen who makes her way to the side that was opposite of Gwen's. "I can't find a hot picture of him. I promise to let you have a look once I find it. Now, I regret not saving that picture." She looks up from swinging her hand to let the pasta cool down where she finds Jen's pout. She was laughing in seconds because she knew her sister-in-law had good taste in men, except for her brother. The Stefani family has their charm. I guess. She giggles at the thought."On another note, this vegetable lasagna smells insanely delicious!" Jen claps her hands once again in excitement. "Todd, come have a look." Gwen blushes at the complement. She has made this a couple of times, but she's not used to people complementing her cooking. She does miss having her family around to help her improve that side of her."I hope it tastes as good as it smells," she points out while waiting for Todd to come around."Oh please," Jen brushes off, "You sound like you haven't been cooking this for a billion times.""I experiment with some components." She tries to defend her point, but Jen doesn't seem to accept it."Was he that of an asshole?" Gwen's eyebrows raised at accusatory tone Jen had. At first, she didn't know what she was referring to about. After a few seconds of contemplating, she becomes aware that it was not directed towards her and realizes who Jen was actually referring to. Her heart almost stopped while her brain froze at the thought. She tries to come up with something to answer the question or change the subject, but Todd walks in."This is for you." She doesn't realize he was handing over the envelope to her since she sort of fazed out, but she recovers. She smiles at Todd but was shocked to see that, when she looked down, the envelope was still closed."You didn't open the envelope?" She asks out of curiosity then looks up to find Todd already drooling on the pasta."It's your envelope, sis," Todd points out as if it was nothing. "It's not mine to open unless you tell me so." She notices how Todd took a break from admiring the pasta to smile at her with reassurance.Her heart warms at the gesture. It was a small detail, but it made her miss how thoughtful her little brother was. She smiles at him before looking down at the envelope to carefully open it. She took her time to look at the design and she loves how elegant it looks like it is about something important. She wishes she kept it that way because, the moment she saw the invitation card, it is the perfect time to say her mind did go completely blank at what she read.
Eleanor Jameson and Gavin Rossdale invite you to the celebration of their wedding.
She doesn't know how long she was silent, but she supposes that it was long enough to make Todd and Jen worried. Her grip tightens on the card. She could not explain the sudden wave of emotions that comes through her. Her breathing suddenly becomes erratic and she begins to cry. It wasn't solely because of hurt. She felt offended and insecure at the same time. She barely registers on how she could explain the latter, but, perhaps when her mind is clearer, she'd hope she could think about why.She realizes that Todd and Jen were by her side immediately. She looks at them through her blurry vision as the tears still continue to make their way down. She hiccups then panics when she was having a hard time breathing. She feels Jen and Todd's hands soothing her back while they utter words that she eventually understood."Sis, breath," Todd's worried tone reaches her ears, but it wasn't enough to call her down. She feels Jen briefly leaving her side then coming back to wipe her tears with a tissue that she probably got from the kitchen island. Her brother was repeating the phrase over and over until she finally had the strength to comply. She didn't even notice that they let her sit down on a stool to help her recompose herself. She is still crying, but she is breathing better.She wants to insist on wiping her own tears instead of her sister-in-law, but, in that moment, Jen was more stubborn than her. If she wasn't crying for a bad reason, she would express her gratitude for the gesture. All she could let out at the moment was a hug. After Jen was done wiping her tears, she shifts her gaze to her brother who was pissed."That son of a bitch!" Todd exclaimed after looking away from the card. His rage shocked her not because she doesn't expect it but rather at the intensity."Why? Jen queries, "What's written on the card?""Jen, please. No." Gwen is in panic mode as her crying subsided for the time being. She watches Jen snatch the card from Todd and, before she could prevent her from reading what was in it, she was too late. "The audacity!" Jen shouts. "He thinks he can get away with it?! News Flash! HE CAN'T AND WILL NOT!"She understands the rage of everyone in the room. She feels defeated by the situation that Gwen just looks down and plays with her fingers on her lap. Tears are once again falling down. She immediately wipes them because of how embarrassed she feels as well."How long has it been?" Todd question was a bit vague from the surface, but she knows what he's talking about. She tries her best to recompose herself to answer his question. "6 months," her voice cracked by the time she said 'months' which had her looking down was again. "I knew their relationship was longer than that.""Gwen, this is not your fault," Jen emphasizes. She doesn't move at the statement then the next thing she knows is that Jen was squeezing her from the side. "We cannot control the actions of dumb assholes.""I may have fallen short in the relationship. We'll never know." She counterargues again even if she was tired from the all crying she had and still has."Really, Gwen?" She had to look up at the intensity of her sister-in-law's response. "You come here talking to me about falling short in a relationship? I'm not Gavin. Find someone else to argue about that. Better yet point that out to him and he's the dumb one to agree." She sniffs right before Jen finishes her sentence. She closes her eyes to think for a minute on what to do because her brain was still a blank page."I'm going to let you put this away, Gwen. Just promise me you are not going to attend this?" Todd began and she opens her eyes to look up at him."I won't." Her voice suddenly became hoarse. She watches Todd slip the card back to the envelope. A tear escapes its way again down her face when her line of visions follows it all the way to the counter beside the stove top. Her gaze lingers there, but she was brought back to life by the people surrounding her.One call out from Jen and she was crying again. She accepted the hug from both of them for a while then made her way to escape it eventually. Instead of bringing home the vegetable lasagna, Jen and Todd decided to eat dinner with Gwen to accompany her a little longer. She wanted to protest because the kids might be looking for them, but she didn't stand a chance. Gwen was silent the entire dinner and barely ate half of her food. Jen and Todd were pushing her to eat, but they gave up when she stood up and started preparing a tupperware for them.As if she was on autopilot, she packs the lasagna that her brother and sister-in-law will take home to their kids. She also tries to clean the dishes herself which was made possible after some convincing to Todd that she can do it. She appreciated the silence they gave her while she was doing her thing. She couldn't utter anything related to what just happened. She'd say something here and there about the food and reheating it, but that was just about it."Are you sure you're okay here? Alone?" She looks down briefly at the mention of 'alone'. She doesn't want to worry the people she loves, but she's failing at it so far."I'll be fine." She manages to say. She takes a deep breath afterwards before looking back at them. "It's not new for me to cry about something and go through it alone.""We're here now, Gwen." Jen, on the other hand, points out. She could almost cry at that statement, but she does everything in her willpower not to. "You've got a great job coming up which could mean new friends as well. There is so much ahead of you now, sis. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel." She doesn't hold it in. She tears up again and gathers one final hug from Todd and Jen.After sharing a moment, she lets go again and composes herself by wiping her cheeks. "I am holding on to that. I don't know why I easily got triggered again.""It's because the shit they did was offensive." Jen spits out. Gwen looks up immediately and notices her brother's death stare towards his wife. "I'm sorry. I can't help it." Jen starts again while raising her arms up, but this time she was calmer. "You're human, boo. It's okay to let it out once in a while." Jen caresses her shoulder and she expresses an appreciation for the gesture.Gwen lets out a long exhale that she didn't know she was holding. She closes her eyes and briefly then opens them again before speaking. "I do know that. Thank you for being here. It means a lot to me." She has to at least express her gratitude for that because, if she were alone, she probably would have never even touched the food at all. She is glad to have a little bit of a distraction before they leave and then she actually becomes alone in her new house."Call us when you need anything, okay?" Her heart swells at Todd's emphasis; with that, she nods."Say hi to my niece and nephew for me." She still has the energy to bring out a smile while she watches the couple nod back in response, give her one last hug, and proceed to their car parked on her driveway. When she sees the SUV go out of sight, she closes the door slowly and completely locks it. She turns around and leans toward the door before putting her head in her palms and cries once more. She takes her time to let out the emotions and frustrations she feels. She was starting to hiccup again and tried to do her best to breath. She becomes successful and drops her hands on her lap. She doesn't exactly remember how long she was standing there, but she still takes her time to stand up properly.She starts moving around the house again. She doesn't have the energy to continue decorating, so she pushes the boxes aside to make the living room look less messy. She climbs upstairs to wash up, hoping that she could find a soothing feeling from the water going down her body. The shower did help a bit. She still felt drained which made the slow movements consistent. She looks at the mirror after washing her face. She knows that she has to sleep this out for now, so she won't feel like too much of a zombie in the morning.When she reached her bedroom, she sat down on the mattress almost too clumsily. She takes a couple of deep breaths to compose herself because she can feel the tears coming to her once again. She was about to lose it then she hears her phone vibrating. It was already 10 in the evening and she wonders who would call her in this hour aside from Todd and Jen. She leans towards the nightstand to find an unknown number. She is shocked to see the five missed calls that she had to pick it up and hope it wasn't the last people on Earth that she has to talk to."Hi, Gwen! It's Kelly! My gosh, I was starting to think the number was wrong or miswritten." She was beyond grateful to be greeted with Kelly's enthusiastic voice. She became nervous for a bit because she doesn't know how to start a conversation without her voice cracking, but this is time she is grateful that Kelly was talkative. "I'm sorry I called at this hour, but I just finished catching up with my boyfriend that I almost forgot to tell you the news." She flinches at the word 'boyfriend', but her focus re-shifted to the last part.She gathers all her strength and rehearses her reply in her head a few times, so that her voice won't crack. "What news?" It wasn't very enthusiastic as Kelly's, but, at least, she hoped she didn't sound broken."You're officially welcomed to the Shelton Enterprises!"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He is not one to fidget especially with his leg, but here he is. He looks around his office to try and distract himself. He huffs once he's had enough and proceeds to stand up again. The view from his office always takes his breath away which is why he takes his time to admire.After a few minutes, he goes through the other side to look at his co-workers from the uncovered portion of the glass window once again. He's not always impatient when waiting for a meeting to start, but, for some reason, he just is. He takes one long deep breath and proceeds to sit back down. The folder on the left portion of his desk catches his eye again. Giving into temptation, he reviews Gwen's portfolio for the nth time. Don't ask. He admires her designs (more like memorize) then looks at her profile and has her details memorized already. Every time Kelly pushes to ask for a reason why he keeps the folder on his desk, he just gives her a glare. He easily gets pissed for the past week and Kelly seems to pick up on that. Nevertheless, she still asks her questions."Sir Blake, they are here." Kelly's voice startles him as always. He was met with a confused look, but he just shrugs it off, exhales too loud for his liking, and stands up to fix his suit. He hates wearing these things, but he has to for the meeting since he wants to present himself properly. It's what his ex used to tell him all the time. She always said that he doesn't look like a successful person when he dresses casually. He wanted to remove that mindset for the past three years. So far, he is failing.He sits at the head of the table as always. His eyes roam to check if everyone was there: Luke, Brad, Marren, Carson, and Pharrell. He finally looks to his side to find Kelly standing there and cheerily smiling at him once he notices Kelly's gaze. He stands up briefly which catches everyone's attention and goes to the end of the left aisle to get an empty seat."Thank you, Sir. I could've gotten it myself." Kelly was quick to respond when she realized that the chair was for her. He gestures in response and proceeds to go back to his seat that wasn't far.Luke was standing at the other end since he was the one presenting. He leans towards the table to find another folder that probably contains all the details Luke will report. He stares at the folder too long and looked up to find everyone waiting for his cue. He presses his lips together and properly leans towards the chair's backrest. Luke nods eventually and goes to his introductions.He starts fidgeting with his legs again and sets his mind to focus on the presentation. He can't help but go back to the day where he did so much interviews. He had to wait until the last interview to find the one he has always been looking for. It was supposed to be a routine he knows like the back of his mind, but his focus and composure immediately escapes his mind, especially when he saw her.He takes a deep breath and clumsily gets the folder from the table. He recites a short expression of gratitude in his head that no one noticed. He doesn't know where Luke is at, so he tries to listen and he hears the word 'designs'. That sufficed and he flipped through at least two pages and found their current topic. The reason why they worked extra hard the past month to find the Senior Vice President is because they were pushing for a lot of projects during the rest of the year. They have been working on expanding and it was successful. The position has been vacant for almost three years and it is tricky to do a task that requires undivided attention. He took responsibility for it because of all the consequences that had happened.His thinking goes back to her. She is a perfect fit for the position. Remembering how she talked about her designs would be his go-to for the past week due to his bad mood. He looks back at how her face lit up at the mention of her family that, suddenly, he was missing his. He talks to his mom once in a while, but, on that day, he shot her a text when evening came just to ask how his mom was doing.Once he realizes he was in a meeting, he shakes his head in a way that it is not too obvious and proceeds to look at Luke who was moving forward to another topic. He looks back the folder to flip a couple of pages to the projects section. He silently thanks the heavens they were at the first project because he knows Luke would not be happy about how he already missed a quarter of the meeting. "So Blake, what do you think of this project with Mr. Jason Rein?" He flinches at the mention of that name but hides it, so he won't ruin the professional stance even more. "Kelly said a while ago that we already have a new SVP for the Interior Design department, so I think we can make this project possible now." He doesn't mention that, even if he is pissed at how long the position was vacant, he is also somewhat grateful that it was since he doesn't have to work with Jason for the time being."Our new SVP is amazing! She is so talented, smart, and is a gorgeous person inside and out." Kelly's gushing almost brought out a grin on his face that he tried with all he could not to let it show. He resorts to an inaudible exhale to do so. His eyes probably gave something away, but he was successful in hiding it for the most part. He does agree with what Kelly said. His favorite has to be her hazel brown eyes that were expressive enough to distract him on all the things he was supposed to say during that interview. He never really paid attention to eyes before, but he made Gwen an exception. He keeps it to himself for the entire week so far, but, with Kelly's statement, he knows he isn't the only one with admiration."Oh, and she is also articulate and knows how to keep everything light, so she presents herself well." That was the last thing he hears from Kelly after trying to set his mind back to the present. He doesn't complain when he drifts away again at the mention of Gwen talking. He asked himself during the evening of that day if she could have been a singer with how beautiful her sultry voice sounds. He doesn't like though how he lost his focus for the beginning of the interview which couldn't be anymore embarrassing. "Blake." Luke's call out reminds him to go back to his senses which he impressively does in few seconds. He raises his eyebrows since he doesn't know what he is asking about. "We need your go signal for this project since I have heard that the SVP is indeed qualified." Luke's tone sounds like he is bothered that he had to repeat what he said. Blake lets it pass and listens carefully.There was silence for a while. He doesn't feel pressured with everyone looking at him. He hesitates because of the person they are going to work with. Now, they have no excuse to let the project wait since their best reason was already solved. "We'll start it. We got everything we need." He finally spoke his first words in the meeting and keeps it brief with a neutral face. Kelly's relieved sigh was too loud that he wishes no one brings it up. Fortunately, they proceeded.He lost Luke somewhere again and leans towards the table to make it seem like he was listening. He puts the folder down and stares at it a little too long. It wasn't Gwen's portfolio, but he flips through it to find the second project. He fumbles with the corner of the paper and remembers how Gwen presented her designs like she was talking to her client. He likes those kinds of people for the job who knows how to present themselves like Kelly said.He forces to look up to recompose himself and was a bit startled to see that Carson was already the one presenting. He panics for a bit because he looks at Luke to his left who is confused. He clears his throat but makes sure it's not too loud and tries to focus on what Carson is saying. The guy looks at Blake for an approval of the Gantt chart of the project he is presenting. He nods in response and looks down at the folder. When he realizes it was a different project, he carefully flips through the pages to find the same picture he just saw from the PowerPoint. He sits back again and rests his right arm on the armrest.He takes another deep breath and tries to look at what Carson envisions for this one. He immediately knew that they wanted modern and elegant. It was right up Gwen's alley, so he knows this project is perfect for her and its success is most likely guaranteed. One of his favorite design of hers was the one she didn't get to talk about that fits the goal of the project that he forgot the proposed name, so he looks at the folder briefly. He can't find it as he flipped through the pages. When he looked up, Carson was already talking about the next one."Secretly grab three corners and you'll get to what he's talking about." Kelly's whisper startles his insides, but he chooses to follow and tries to hide the fact that he missed whatever was written in the pages he skipped. He briefly looks at his side as a way of thanking his assistant. He exhales in defeat since he knows he would have to rely on the minutes for this one.He looks down and notices how his legs wasn't tumbling up and down too much like it did when the meeting started. He takes his eyes away from it and is back to leaning towards the table. He tries to swallow unnoticeably and, before his mind drifts away, he was once again shocked to see it was Luke who was presenting again."Sir Blake, Carson's proposals are spot on. I think they'll fit with our new SVP since Kelly had the time to show us some designs." The moment he heard Marren speak, his attention immediately went to her. He then looks at Kelly who was smiling at his and notices how she was holding Gwen's portfolio. He doesn't remember how did she get it from his office, but he doesn't let it bother him at that moment."That's what I was thinking too." He responds respectfully and Luke continues talking. He looks back at Kelly then to the folder on her lap. Kelly was busy writing down something on her notebook, but he knows now is not the time to get the folder from her, so he looks back to the front and sees how Luke was already far away from what page was opened in his folder. He gives up and doesn't make it anymore obvious."Okay. That's all for this meeting. Thank you for attending." Luke finishes and Blake almost obviously sighed in relief. He hides it through a soft blow and smiles at everyone who was there. He purposely looks at Luke last because he doesn't know what reaction to expect from him. He stands up and shakes hands with every person who was going to make their way out of the meeting room. It was only him, Kelly, and Luke who were left afterwards. He decided to arrange his folder while Kelly fixes some of the chairs. When he notices how Kelly placed Gwen's profile on top of the meeting folder, he looks up and meets a gaze he was all too familiar with."Blake, can I have a word with you?" That was Kelly's cue to leave momentarily. Blake carefully sits down again and places his hands on his lap before finally looking at Luke. "Are you alright, man?" He senses a rant coming, but he will have to wait and see.He maintains a respectable silence and glances at the portfolio with 'Gwen Stefani' written on it. He remembers making an effort to write it on the left corner, so he can immediately recognize it when he enters his office. "Blake." He snaps out of it once again to find one of Luke's eyebrows raised when he makes eye contact with him."I'm fine." The response was meant to convince two people. He doesn't elaborate anything in the next few seconds, so silence lingers again."You were distracted for the entire meeting." This was the rant he was waiting for. "Don't you think I noticed how you just ended up not flipping the last pages because you already lost us." He is not surprised at Luke's tone, but he looks briefly to his side and takes a short exhale. "Look, I have already accepted your lack of words, but come on, man. At least try telling me something." His tone shifted to concern by the end of it. That catches his attention and looks back at Luke.They stared at each other for a while and he doesn't know how to explain what causes his more frequent checking out, so he resorts to an old topic. "Jason." The way Luke just stood up properly assures Blake that his friend and colleague did fall for the small trap he prepared."Blake, the project is strategically good to take up on." He doesn't immediately notice that Luke was already in a seat near him. He faces his chair towards him and leans even further to the backrest. "I know," Blake responds. He is aware that he is not supposed to let personal matters conflict with his work, but he doesn't understand why Luke and Brad's department keeps on accepting Jason when they can land on even better clients. He doesn't want Jason near Gwen because he knows the guy's personality. He makes a mental note to find a way not to make that happen."I trust you that you are professional," Luke breaks the silence after a while. "This is not our first project with him, but just do it for the company." He contemplates at that statement. Blake knows for himself that there are better clients than Jason freaking Rein. He makes another mental note to himself to find a way that it will be their last project with him because he swears his blood pressure will shoot through the roof with that guy. His work ethics are already as bad as his attitude. He does not comprehend even more why Luke and Brad could not see that."Blake. Be honest with me. Are you alright?" Luke's hand was already on his shoulder and squeezing it. "I'm asking this as a friend.""I'm fine," he emphasizes and repeats. He was too quick to respond but didn't sound too pissed which he silently thanks himself for. He stood up and it gives Luke the same cue as well. They share a brief hug before he heads out of the meeting room.Instead of heading right to his office, he goes to Kelly's desk and take a peek at the company phone. He doesn't find the conversation there with Gwen which sort of pisses him off. He directs his gaze to the large blank desk that was meant to be Gwen's area. He sighs as he looks down and realizes he was holding the phone too long. He recomposes himself and carefully places it back on the stand. Before making his way to his office, Kelly was already back."You alright, Sir?" He does not understand why Kelly and Luke are asking the same questions. He knows he doesn't look pale. He knows he was distracted in the meeting, but that was a norm at certain points, for sure. He briefly looks at Kelly and heads straight to his office. He holds the door because he knows Kelly followed.He immediately heads straight for his desk to place the folder and Gwen's portfolio on it. He glances at the pictures on the shelf that was behind his chair, places his hands in his pocket, and keeps his mind from drifting away as much as possible."You were too checked out in our latest meeting," Kelly points out and he curses in his head at how she was sounding exactly like Luke. He knows she won't rant, but it will always boil down back to concern."I'm fine." At this point, that statement is going to be his slogan for the day. He doesn't want to sound too pissed, but it didn't work for Kelly this time."You're just grumpy because Gwen is not here yet," Kelly jokes. He doesn't want to confirm or deny anything, so he sits down and flips through the meeting folder. "Don't you think I saw you checking the company phone," she proceeds. "Her number is in the profile. You can text her yourself." That makes Blake quickly look up at Kelly. He has considered that thought many times, but he knows it is not his job to ask the applicants when they can start at their office. "Alright. Alright. I know what your gonna respond." Her pause was something he expected because she is still supposed to breath in between sentences. "Just saying, nothing is written in the company rules that the owner and SVP can't date. I mean it applies to all high-up positions."He looks down as his heart raced. Kelly's grin was too much for him at that moment, so he tries to shift his concentration at the meeting folder. He flips through the pages mindlessly and works on not making it too obvious that the topic caught him off guard. He notices how Kelly slides a bunch of clipped papers to his line of vision. "That's the minutes, Sir Blake." He exhales loudly and proceeds to pull it closer to him. "I know you'll need it."-----He prepared himself for the disappointment he's met when he sees the same desk empty again. He knows he comes too early at work, but it is better than spending too much time at his place. He is allowed not to show up at all, but he doesn't do that. He won't take advantage of his position too much. He will if he has to, but he will not abuse it everyday. He flips through the minutes that Kelly gave him yesterday, but he fails at understanding them because his mind drifts away again.He wants to know why it's been taking a week. He doesn't pressure any new colleague to start immediately, but he tries to tone down his impatience for Gwen specifically. At this point, he thinks Kelly is not telling him the reason on purpose to tease him. He is grateful that he is silent enough not to give her the benefit of the doubt with her inside jokes. He huffs loudly since he is alone at his office and goes back to reading the minutes for the nth time this morning.He gives up after a few tries and decides to do that in the afternoon. He faces towards the shelf behind him to look at all the pictures of his family once more. He was mindlessly staring at the one with him and his mom too long that he doesn't notice Adam enter."Hey dude. Good morning. I know I'd find you here." He turns around and finds Adam sitting in the same spot as he always does. He briefly smiles at his friend and goes to fumble with the minutes. "I hope you know that I'm just looking out for you." If he asks if he's fine, Blake will seriously lose it. "You need to go out sometimes, man." That piqued his interest, so he looks up with a curious gaze. "Eat lunch with me and Behati sometime. We miss you."He knows it has been a while since he was too focused with the company hiring the SVP. That explains Adam's frequent visits to the office since he mostly bails on his friend's invites to hang out. "Kinda busy. Many projects coming up," he finally utters. He knows Adam understands, but, at the same time, he prepares himself for what he is about to say next."I get that you finally get to push through with some projects now. Doesn't it start with a planning phase before it's too hectic? Just one lunch, man. I promise. I won't link you up." He notices how Adam quickly followed up that last one and he finds himself sighing in relief. He can't promise anything, so he lets the silence linger for a few seconds."We'll see," he says neutrally then looks back at the minutes and stares at whatever Kelly wrote during the first moments of the meeting yesterday."It's not a no, so I'll take that," Adam settles and he silently expresses his gratitude for him. "Dusty misses her godfather too. Come hang with us when you can."Adam knows he won't say no to Dusty. That little, precious, and beautiful kid has a bright future ahead of her. He is aware that Adam is a good dad even if he is a pain in the butt sometimes. Behati is a great mom as well despite being her first time. Blake remembers how grateful he was when they offered him to be Dusty's godfather. He was reminded of his niece back home too. He looks up again and nods with a small smile to Adam. He makes another mental note in his head to squeeze in a visit to his goddaughter."I know you won't say no," Adam chuckles. "Anyways, I made a quick stop here just to check on you. Kelly says you've been having mood swings all week. You're not a teenager, dude. Stop that." He exhales and shakes his head as a way to hide pending laugh at Adam's joke. He was a bit shocked to see him come to his side and hug him. He doesn't hesitate in returning it. When his friend makes his way to leave, he nods as Adam waves good-bye. It wasn't long before Kelly makes her way in before the door completely closes."Hey, boss. Good morning!" There was something about her using the word 'boss' that makes everything unusual. "I have some great news." He kind of lost his attention on her for a bit but recovers at Kelly's excited tone. It better be. Once he establishes proper eye contact, he notices Kelly's grin and he doesn't understand why she was prolonging it. Kelly takes a deep breath first before finally announcing whatever she has in her head."It's Gwen's first day!!"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The moment she heard the news she immediately got so excited that it turned her night around. Kelly's call was timely for her, but she felt a little guilty that she didn't get to start immediately. She was trying to juggle fixing the papers for her new car, decorating her place, and preparing to see her parents in one week. She was genuinely shocked that Kelly was okay with giving her a week before she finally goes to the office.Seeing her family again made her feel beyond ecstatic. She didn't realize she missed them until they went to dinner on a Thursday night. Todd's family and her parents were free. Everyone was there to celebrate the fact that she finally came back home to California. She will never deny that she enjoyed bonding with her family. Providing for them has always been her priority, but she slowly contemplates why she barely had the time to go to Anaheim, even if she is financially capable to do so.Nothing is more important to her than the people she loves and those that care for her genuinely. It was one thing she realizes after the breakup. She was too focused on investing in a relationship that was barely progressing and was starting to become more toxic by the day. She could've gotten out earlier, but, sometimes, we are too scared to feel alone because we were already used to the fact that we have someone with us. As a consequence, we tend to hold on even if everything screams 'letting it go'.On another note, she finally got a new car. It was easier for her to travel around the city even if LA traffic is the worse. Still, she preferred having her own ride since she can safely bring some personal belongings with her. It was also very timely since the car helps her transport her stuff to the office for her first day.She got Kelly's personal number in no time and she was always reassured that she shouldn't be shy to call her anytime. The night before her first day, she asked her about how does the first day of work go. Kelly briefly went over how she'll be given a proper tour around the building and will be given time to settle onto her desk. That was all the details Gwen got, so she sort of overthought how to perform on the first day.She was also sort of nervous to see Blake again because taking a week before finally starting would not usually make a good impression. She trusts that Kelly explained it to him. She also trusts how Kelly kept mentioning how he is always an understanding and a kind guy. She just really wished he looked a little less intimidating, but, to be honest, intimidating and tall men can be hot combination. She shakes her head at the thought and reminds herself that she shouldn't be thinking too much of a man she's interacted with once. She stares at the mirror and fixes her skirt for the nth time. She thinks about changing it, but, when she checks her phone, she might run in late. Deciding that the outfit is nice enough, she quickly puts on her heels and places her the strap of her purse over her shoulders.Once she got to her car, she immediately checks the big box she placed at the backseat to see if all her office supplies were there. Being complacent as she looked through it only once, she carefully jogs towards the driver's seat and starts the engine.The ride to work was sort of uneventful except for the amazing new songs she hears on the radio. When she knew she was getting closer, she starts getting nervous. She feels her veins near her hand pulsating and she was gripping the steering wheel tighter than usual. She takes one long and deep breath before slowing down towards the property entrance.Before you actually get to the main building, you have to pass by the guard's house first. The head office for Shelton enterprises is enclosed in one big property with two buildings in it almost looking like the ones in Dubai. The taller building is the actual office. She has yet to know what the other one is. She stops in front of the huge building to check it out, only to be mesmerized again. She remembers being blown away when she first saw it a week ago. She sees someone gesturing towards the parking entrance that she waves through the window as a sign of thanks before driving towards the booth.She shoots Kelly a text that she had already arrived and proceeds to go out of the car to fix herself for a minute. She takes one more deep breath and opens the other car door only to be surprised that she was quickly assisted by the security personnel."Hi, Gwen! It is great to see you!" She is met with Kelly's enthusiasm that it helps her calm down for a bit. Once she saw the guard carrying her box, she is quick to react, but Kelly is quicker. "Oh. It's alright. He will take it to your desk. That's one big box though." Kelly spoke fast and she shot a grateful smile to the guard before he proceeds into the building."Great to see you, Kelly." Gwen greets back with a hug that took a while and she didn't mind. After letting each other go, Kelly claps her hands in excitement and talked her way through as they got in the building."You arrived just in time. Sir Blake and I just finished talking when you texted that you were here. All is good and well and he is excited to see you." She smiles in relief as Kelly said the first part of the comment. It quickly turned to shocked as Kelly finished."He is?" She is not supposed to clarify that, but the words were already out."Okay. Well not the kiddy excited thing. I mean the SVP position was vacant for like three years. Who wouldn't be glad that someone qualified finally got it? Plus it was you who we got, so that's totally awesome." She is grateful that Kelly continues to blabber on because it gives her time to help her regain her composure and ease her nerves. "I'm glad he gets a little bit of a break for a position he took responsibility for." She tries to think if that was not meant to be said out loud since Kelly sounded concerned. She doesn't push and instead fills her curiosity something related to the job itself."Blake is an interior designer?" That question sounded dumb for her, but she decides to push the thought aside since Kelly didn't look like she minded."He doesn't look like the owner, doesn't he?" Kelly giggles and her jaw drops. She only knew the last name of the owner since, as Jen mentioned to her, he was a private guy. It started making sense for her when she reminisces how he had a spacious office and was actually interviewing someone who is a vital and high position in the company. He was the one that Jen is talking about. She doesn't forget her sister-in-law's comments of him being hot and feels slightly embarrassed that she actually got to interact with him already before she had any idea who he really was.After a few moments of silence, Kelly talks again. "He's very humble and lowkey about it. It's what we love about him." She attempts to hide the heat she feels rising in her cheeks and Kelly proceeded to talk about the different areas of the building.The way that the huge building really served its purpose for a lot things becomes mind-blowing for her. She knew that the cafeteria occupied the entire second floor since she spent most of that day waiting over there, but she only found out that there was another events area on the third floor that was meant for small gatherings, meetings, and other company activities. The fifth and sixth floor was the HR department which she also knew. The place felt comforting for her even if it was a professional setting. She realizes how the company really thought about its employees because of how everything was designed to promote a healthy working environment. The fourth floor was a relaxing area for all the employees when they have extra time during their breaks which she loves."This place is amazing so far." She can't help but express the awe she feels and, when she sees Kelly's smile, she knew that Kelly agrees."I know right! It kinda has a little bit of everything you need when working, but it's not too much since Blake really took his time to dissect it per floor." She nods while listening to Kelly's short explanation then begins to explain how a chunk of floors were for each major department, so they can have their own workspace and not compete with the others when it comes to certain needs like printers, office supplies, and meeting areas. The admins are mostly settled at the 35th floor, those who work close with Blake. Kelly's desk was also in that same floor which she remembers. She listens to Kelly once again as she explains that her desk is not hard to spot since it was one of the biggest on their floor. She actually gets a little privacy since her area was quite big, but she will be sitting beside the General Secretary whom Kelly also mentions that is super nice and sweet.Once the elevator emits a ding sound, her eyes shifted to the number '36' with a little space for a key beside it and that sparks her curiosity. "That's the 36th floor. Only Sir Blake has a key to it." She was quick to look over to Kelly who gave her a small wink with the piece of information she shared. "I believe it's a penthouse. Don't let Sir Blake know that I told you." Kelly ended with a giggle and she follows as well."Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." She lets out her pinky which looked a little weird for her, but, as Kelly complies, she doesn't bother to think about it any further. They giggle together before Kelly panics on pushing the button to keep the doors open. They hurry their way out and she was suddenly reminded that she might face Blake any minute now.Her heart starts beating fast again and she doesn't know how she could contain it without being too obvious. She looks down and tries to keep her deep breaths inaudible, so that Kelly wouldn't notice. She is not scared of Blake, of course. She still slightly feels embarrassed that she didn't immediately pick up that he was the owner. That detail doesn't make him more intimidating that he already is, but, even if Kelly said he was excited to see her, she doesn't know what to expect.She accidentally bumps into someone with her head directly hitting the biceps. "I'm so sorry," she was quick to apologize as her hands went to her forehead. Once she clears out the small pain she felt, she looked up only to find Blake already looking at her. Her eyes widen and she goes into panic mode. She tries to recompose as fast as she can. "I'm sorry, Sir Blake. I didn't see you." That didn't sound too bad, so she settled with it."S'okay." He took a bit too long for her to respond which didn't help her nerves at all. She keeps her gaze on him, not being able to take her eyes off his blues. It was only in that moment that she got to take those in. Did she mention that she loves the ocean very much? Blake's eyes reminded her of that.She was brought back to life with him clearing his throat. "Desk right this way." She notices how he kept it brief, but she easily picked it up. The moment he motions for her to go first, she walks ahead of him and easily spots her desk. She tries to look at that to distract her heart that wants to beat its way out of her chest. Not gonna lie, Kelly was right. Her area was huge. She let her eyes roam on it as she gets closer. She smiles when she notices her box on the table and was reminded of the security guy's nice gesture. She will remember to thank him later once she goes down the parking lot. She immediately stops and she didn't know that Blake was right behind her. This time, it was him who bumped into her. "Sorry. I didn't mean to-" She turns to make her apology sincere by looking at him, instead she realizes that she was standing too close because the first thing she saw was his vest. He looked good in a suit, but a vest is better. She sort of regrets inhaling because, now, she was distracted by his cologne. It was quite strong but not to the point that it was irritating to the senses. She swallows roughly to help recompose herself. She prays that it wasn't audible enough for Blake to hear then she finally looks up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a bit clumsy."He exhibits a little smile and briefly nods which got her into a bundle of nerves again. She couldn't walk away and was staring too much at him. It was her first time seeing his dimples though and she never thought they would look so cute on a tall guy like him. She suddenly realizes that they were still too close, so she clears her throat softly and steps back almost too clumsily. She regains her balance before Blake could even catch her hip. Gwen could never explain the relief she felt when that didn't happen because it could have sent her mind into a complete mess."Make yourself comfortable. Welcome." He was quick to help ease the moment for the both of the them. She is eternally grateful for that. Blake doesn't leave immediately yet though which gave her more time to look him. She thinks he was looking behind her and she couldn't help but notice his curls. They were tamed which looked perfect since it was meant to complement the look he has. She tries to refocus, so she won't look down beyond his stubble.They made eye-contact one more time before he nods again. She notices how he was about to open his mouth to say something when someone called his attention. He turns away from her to talk to a guy who she doesn't recognize. Before he actually left her sight, he looks back and brings out a brief smile once more. She smiles back in hopes that he would get the message and she watches him walk into his office."What was that all about?" Kelly immediately goes to her side to get some details out of her."He was probably being nice about escorting me here to my desk," Gwen tries to explain anything that her brain would come up with and she slowly rubs the back of her neck as a reflex."Told you he was excited to see you." She feels Kelly slightly nudge her and it took all her strength to hide the embarrassment she feels since she knew it probably wasn't only Kelly who saw it.She was about to respond when another guy that she doesn't recognize asked for Kelly. She lets her go and briefly thanks her for the office tour they had a while back. Gwen turns quickly and walks towards her desk to start arranging everything. She first brought out the things that would help keep her files organized. She has been picturing how she would arrange them when she wasn't doing anything during the past week, so it was easy for her to put everything in place.Her personal stationery was next and she took a seat on her chair. In that way, she doesn't look too distracting apart from the sounds that the stuff inevitably make when they are being placed on the table. She also has this portable picture of her and her family that she puts on her desks. It was her way of reminding herself for whom she was working hard for. It was also a way for her to see her family when she misses them. Now that she is in California, she is aware that it won't be too difficult and restraining for her."Hi!" That was not Kelly's voice, so she decides to look towards where she heard it."Hi!" She greets back to pretty girl on her left who let out her hand to shake."I'm Alicia. I'm the general secretary." She looks like a really kind person that Gwen could along with which is why there was zero hesitation on her part. She shakes her hand in return for the kind and professional gesture."I'm Gwen," she began. She feels like she will sound arrogant if she says her position or too formal if she says her last name. She overthought too much that Alicia got to speak ahead of her."Oh! You're the new SVP." At least she doesn't have to explain that part right now. For that, she smiles at Alicia as a way of expressing her gratitude. "Welcome to Shelton Enterprises! I'm sure you'll have a blast here. Everyone is really nice even bossman himself."She tries to hide her giggle at the word 'bossman' because it kind of fits Blake's aura. "So far, everything has been good. Kelly is very nice and she just toured me around the building.""That was my favorite part too. There's so much to enjoy in this workplace. This is your first day right?" Their conversation is light and Gwen is already loving how everyone seemed to be as welcoming as Kelly and as excited to welcome her."Yeah, it is. I'm glad I got accepted here. It really looks like a nice company." She doesn't forget how big of an opportunity this is for her. She may be in a high position, but she is still new around here."Ma'am, believe me. You are very qualified for the position. I'm glad it's you who Sir Blake hired. You will be working closely with him too on some projects. He is very hands-on. Bossman always sets a great example to us." The way she's heard a different perspective on Blake's work ethic made her admiration for him grew more. Although he might be intimidating, everyone she has talked to so far has said great things about Blake. All she has to do is ease her nerves around him and everything will work just fine."That sounds great." She was worried her nervousness might have made it sound sarcastic, but she pushes the thought away, so Alicia won't pick it up. "What do we usually do in the first day?" She follows up as a way to recover. Other than the tour, she was not sure on what else to do since Kelly didn't really mention those other details. She figured maybe asking from someone who was probably in a similar position as she was will help."There's not that much pressure on the first day here. Let alone your first week, to be honest. You can take some time to adjust in the mean time. There a lot of projects coming up though, but I'm sure it won't be too overwhelming since we work here as a team." She felt relieved to hear that, but, at the same time, she also couldn't wait to work. Alicia's remark excites her and warms her at how thoughtful the people around here are, especially when it comes to adjusting."Thank you, Alicia." She is grateful for the conversation she engaged in. She hopes that it is a first step to gaining a new friend at work. She wants to get along with everyone and make them feel comfortable too."Of course." As Alicia smiled, she offered her hand for a fist bump and Gwen giggles as she complies. "I'm glad we have someone new over here. It makes things more refreshing and exciting. I think it will be good for Sir Blake too. He's been handling a lot."One thing she always notices was how everything boiled down to concern. It was the same thing she saw with Kelly. It makes her so curious, but she doesn't want to overstep immediately by asking what it is about. She hopes she gets to find out soon enough. Maybe it can be a way to help her get to know Blake better."I'm glad I get an opportunity to work here. I've really heard great things like the work environment which is proving to be amazing so far." She decides to settle on that. At least, it eases her worries about trying not to overstep."Not to brag, but you are right about that. I've been here for a long time and it is a testament to how everyone is great to work with around here." Alicia was leaning towards the armrest as they face each other. Gwen was nodding as an initial way to acknowledge what Alicia said.She was about to respond something related to that when some muffled screaming startled her, Alicia, and everyone else apparently. She looks towards the partially covered glass window to her right which is most likely Blake's office. She sees a formal-looking man, making his way out like he is scared out of his life. She then sees Blake's who looked tense from a far. He briefly said something to Kelly then he eventually stormed off to the archway that leads to the elevator.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Gwen is here. Finally. About damn time.
He doesn't entertain all the explanations in his brain as to why he's excited that Gwen is finally here. The adrenaline rush he feels also falls into the same fate.After Kelly broke the news, his focus flies out the window. Blake is aware of all the stuff that happens when someone is newly hired. He has no choice but to wait in his office as Kelly gives Gwen a tour of the building. "Sir Blake?" He hears Alicia's voice and immediately fixes his sitting posture to let her know that he is listening."Here are the final versions of the project proposals that we had a meeting about last week." Alicia begins placing three different folders on his desk. He tries not to make it obvious that he swallowed the lump in his throat. His ability to focus is not 100% cooperating with him at the moment. He at least says a sort-of prayer since all he has to do is sign. He has read these proposals twice for the past week.He gives a nod to Alicia to let her know that he may take a while. Alicia seems to have picked it up and says something to announce her departure from the room.Blake leans towards his desk and absent-mindedly grabs the first folder he can reach. He scrunches his nose once he sees Jason's name.Call him petty but he can't stand seeing the name, so, without reading and knowing what revisions were made, he signs the first page as quick as he could.Blake places the folder as far from him as possible and begins signing the other proposals. He begins to fidget with his leg and suddenly becomes nervous.He takes a peek at the clock near him and almost curses in his head about how time was moving too slow for his liking. Not realizing immediately, Blake stares at nothing while he spaces out for the a few minutes. Someone seemed to enter his office, but he doesn't notice immediately. After a few mentions, he snaps out of it and absent-mindedly accepts whatever they gave him. He scans the room to double check if he's alone. Once he's sure, he lets out a loud and shaky breath before trying to concentrate on whatever he was doing.
"Thank you." The low sultry sound hits his ears and he swore his vision got a little blurry.
He was in awe of how every bit made sense the more she explained. The designs can speak for themselves, but hearing her inspiration and seeing her light up about it made his day.
"Wait." That wasn't supposed to come out, but it was too late. She looks back at him with her hair doing a small flip. He stood up straight to compose himself. "Have a good day ahead."
He ends up frantically shaking his head before huffing a little too loud. "Get a grip," he mumbles to himself. If this was the equivalent of tossing and turning but instead it's at work, he isn't having it. The little flashbacks he had ushers his focus away once more. Blake gets a little frustrated until he hears his office door open."Sir, I just want to ask about some of the proposals? Sir Luke is asking for them." He panics the moment he heard the word 'proposals'. He wasn't even sure if he got to sign at least two of them. Blake decides in the spur of the moment and gestures to the proposal with Jason's name on it. He is glad that Alicia picked that up and decides to get the folder before leaving Blake alone again."Shit. Blake, focus," he murmurs to himself once again. After what felt like hours, he finally finishes all the papers that we're handed over to him and didn't notice how he missed lunch break. Blake ignores since he's not even hungry enough to go down even if there were chances he'd see Gwen and Kelly at the cafeteria."Knock knock," Luke announces his entrance to his office and Blake's reflex to sit straight is back in full action."You didn't eat lunch. You alright?" Blake didn't utter anything as much as a nod to Luke's greeting and his follow-ups faces the same fate. He appreciates his friend's concern but doesn't blurt it out.He shifts his gaze towards the window and tries to look at the farther part of the view to keep himself distracted. He thought Luke already left, so, when he faces his table again, he is almost startled to see Luke sitting on the chair in front of him and staring like he wants to know if something is up.They end up in a staring contest for a few minutes until Blake knew that Luke isn't going to let this go. "Proposals." It's all he ends up saying. He watches how Luke visibly gives up, so Blake lets out an inaudible sigh of relief.There isn't any lie to what Blake said. Besides, it's been a while as to why he's been like this. Aside from Adam and Kelly, Luke should have understood the changes Blake did to his life by this point. Blake vowed to keep his emotions and thoughts at bay or else he will pay the price later on.Nothing hurts him more than others suffering from his mistakes. Luke is one of the unfortunate people who saw that first-hand. Blake can't understand why his friend wouldn't wrap his head around that."Okay. Whatever you say. Just," Luke finally utters and his pause catches Blake's attention. His friend and colleague seems to contemplate his next words. "Take it easy? Sounds dumb, but yeah."The statement almost catches him off guard, but he recovers. Blake nods and Luke knows that it was the end of the conversation, if there even was one to begin with.He settles for watching Luke making his way out of his office and sighs loudly once he realizes that his desk was already clear. This day wasn't too much for him, so he tries to disregard whatever tension that's building up in his chest.Sitting this one out literally won't do any good, so he stands up and indulges himself in the view that he spends too much time observing. Every since they established the firm, this has always been his view. It's one thing that stayed consistent and harmless in his life. Maybe some buildings were added, but you know what he meant.If being like this meant pushing some people away to avoid bringing harm to them or him harming them, choosing to be mostly alone is a much more tolerable option.He's not a bat, but the sound of the elevator snaps him out of his thoughts. He suddenly remembers an important person marking their entrance to their company today. He knows he's nervous, but Blake doesn't second think anything and starts walking out of his office.The short distance from his office door to the elevator is something he forgot in that moment since he bumped into Gwen on his way out.It doesn't take a genius to know it was her. Once her scent reached his nostrils, his memory from a week ago catches up on him and it almost made his mind completely spin.He knew he heard an apology from her and he sort of regrets that he wasn't able to answer immediately. She deserves to know that everything was alright, but seeing her actual figure in front of him sends his vocabulary out the window. He tries his hardest to regain his composure and lets out a fast "S'okay."They ended up establishing eye contact and his mind goes completely blank about what he should do next. Breathing was suddenly a hard task and his heart was pounding too fast. He isn't making the situation any easier. Blake could've punched himself if he wanted to, but that is not professional at all. He pushes away the frustration he feels as he wants to focus on her beautiful hazel eyes instead.He immediately decides that he doesn't want to make things anymore awkward for Gwen, so he clears his throat that was too damn loud for his liking. He utters something about leading Gwen to her desk since it was the next logical thing that crosses his mind. Blake gestures for her to go first and she immediately picks that up which puts his mind in a temporary state of relief. He wants to keep his distance but can't help in walking closely behind her. She looks as good as she did last week. There's something about her aura that he couldn't explain. Whatever it is, he's in awe of it.His thoughts are starting to send him to panic that he tries to push it out of the way without being to obvious. He is too caught up in his head that he didn't notice he bumped into Gwen. This is why he hates thinking too much even if it was a habit.That thought seems to favor him since his mind went blank when Gwen apologizes as she turns around. It was only then when he realized how small she was because he notices how he could completely enclose her in a hug against his chest.Blake couldn't get his legs to move and he doesn't want to either. Ignoring his self-debate earlier, he prays that she looks up, but, instead, she steps back. He quickly notices that she was about to trip. He acts fast and immediately reaches out to prevent her from losing her balance, but Gwen recovers. He almost didn't know what to do with his arms, but retrieving them sounds like the safest option. He wants to make an effort to save the situation from being awkward, so he says a few words of welcome to her. Blake doesn't move from where he's standing and so is she. It gave him the opportunity to look at her. He doesn't dare to let his gaze linger in her eyes since he's scared all sense will escape his line of thought. Instead, he appreciates how breathtaking she is. Call him cheesy or cliché, but she is his definition of perfect. She knows how to carry herself without overdoing it. It makes him appreciate her natural and dolled-up state at the same time.It's inevitable until he lands his eyes on hers again. He wants to say something to complement her or anything that would suffice. When something comprehendible crosses his mind, someone who isn't Kelly calls his attention.He leaves Gwen hanging and looks at the formal-looking man who he doesn't recognize from the first glance. "Are you Mr. Blake Shelton? I was able to book an appointment with you today. I hope you don't mind."Blake actually minds, but he doesn't want to express that. He gestures for his office and the man makes his way inside. Before leaving, he looks back to Gwen who looks like she's still in her spot from a while ago. He weakly smiles at her and he quickly catches her smiling back. That alone could turn his day around. She is absolutely breathtaking, but it's even more when she smiles.Once he enters his office, he asks someone to call Kelly. The man brought a companion with him since Blake doesn't recognize the guy and it's his immediate conclusion. He wanted to have someone familiar to him in the room. Even if Gwen is in his mind, he still settles for calling his assistant."How may I help you?" It's the one of the few comprehendible sentences he utters for the day. This man doesn't know him, so he tries to do the extra effort."Are you sure you don't recognize me, Mr. Shelton?" Every time someone addresses him via his last name, he feels like he is intimidating the people around him, but Blake doesn't have the energy correct him.Blake settles for observing the man to try and recall. He has a few hunches, but he can't put his finger on it. The man quickly beats him to it."I'm Ms. Lambert's lawyer." That's when everything made sense. His attitude was coming off a little too forward for him and it makes sense that the man is associated with his ex. "I'm Mr. Thompson." The guy offers his hand to shake and Blake wants to remain professional, so he engages with him.He's a little tense and he knows Kelly can sense it. No one brings it up and he's grateful that he's spared of the discussion with that."After some discourse with Ms. Lambert, it's time we talk to you, personally, about your company." Blake wishes he could give someone else his time, but the lawyer's choice of words and the way they were said caught his full attention.His facial expression was no means to encourage the lawyer to continue, but Mr. Thompson continues and he doesn't stop the man. "Ms. Lambert wants to appeal regarding her shares in this company."Blake, in any way, is not after the money he will profit from when he built this firm, but the way this lawyer had the audacity to ask this encourages Blake to build up the rage he feels inside. He shoots the lawyer a glare and seeing the guy's expression almost tempted him to throw a punch.He clenches his fist that is hidden underneath the table and leans forward to make himself appear taller even if they are sitting down. "What?" He spits out, nearly losing his composure. Blake didn't become conscious about his pause since it was his chance to ease his patience. "We were not married." His anger was beginning to show as every word was said with emphasis."It's not a matter of you two being married, but Ms. Lambert was able to work in this firm and she has doubts about you handling such a big responsibility." The lawyers states as matter of fact. Blake's hidden fist is already shaking and he doesn't know where he finds the energy to keep on going."She wasn't even here when I started this company." That was a lot for him and he can see Kelly's eyes pop out at his peripheral vision. He doesn't have the time to call her to let this man out because the attorney seems to have the time of his life."We know it's not always about who started what. Your capabilities can be in question as I also had the chance to look at the company's performance via some business articles." That's it. He's had enough."Get out!" Blake quickly stands up and slams his hand against the table. When the man only makes a minimal move to do so, Blake was already fuming. "You're in my office. My premises. I said," he huffs to make sure he says the next words with emphasis. "Get the fuck out."He's pretty sure that he was screaming and Kelly quickly acts on trying to get the lawyer and his companion out of sight. Blake can feel his lower lip trembling and he doesn't know why he was on the verge of crying. He knows that this day isn't going to end well, so he clumsily gets out of his desk area to head to his office door. He diligently repeats the words 'get it together' to himself as he says something out of memory to Kelly and storms off to the elevator.He needs a peace of mind and he knows he can't get that here for the time being.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
She stays frozen in place since she can't believe what just happened. Her gaze remains focused on Kelly, who seems worried but not surprised at the turn of events. Gwen wants to ask badly about what happened, although she thinks it might not be her place to know unless it's about the company.Gwen tries to recompose herself by looking around and sees everyone getting prepared to go somewhere. She doesn't understand the commotion and decides to ask Alicia since the woman's desk is literally beside hers. "Hi Alicia," Gwen greets to establish a little sense of politeness, considering she just met the woman. "Where is everyone going?" She looks around again, and some people began to leave the floor."Oh right. You're not aware yet." Aware of what? Hearing that initial portion has her heart pounding out of nervousness. She doesn't express her urgency to know what's going on; instead, she tries to be patient about Alicia's follow-up. "When Sir Blake abruptly leaves the office for personal reasons, everyone gets the rest of the day off. He can't stand the thought of other people working when he's off dealing with his baggage."The statement genuinely surprises her. When she heard that Blake is a great boss, she expected something like being generous in the salary or being nice to his employees in general. The word 'baggage' spikes her curiosity, but it's something she didn't necessarily ask."But how do you know he left for personal reasons?" Gwen decides to go with that since it didn't sound invasive in her head. "It's something everyone came to learn over the years. We know for a fact that Blake doesn't scream at his employees, so it's a safe conclusion that it is something personal." Kelly looked like she wanted to add something but tried to prevent herself from continuing.Even if Gwen, at least, got an answer about why everyone had to leave, she's still confused. She can't handle it anymore and tries to directly expresses it. "Um. So..." All of a sudden, she doesn't know how to express her question. She stutters some more until she goes silent, kicking herself about not exactly knowing where's the line at this moment. Kelly seems to have picked it up and starts speaking again. "I know the rule kinda doesn't make sense, but you will get the hang of it."Hearing that latest statement sort of sends Gwen into a small internal freakout. If that means that this happens often, she becomes more intrigued about what's going on in Blake's life and the worry of people who seem to be close to him, like Kelly and Alicia."If it comes to a time where everyone is not aware that Blake left for a personal reason, I just announce it to everyone." Gwen regains her senses in the nick of time as Kelly further explains this rule in the company. She is still processing this information, and she tries to decide on what to do about it."He kept his composure when he spoke a few words to me a while ago before leaving. But after what I witnessed in the meeting, I knew his control slipped." Gwen knew in the back of her mind that Kelly might have overspilled something. It brings a little relief to her, knowing this piece of information, but it also worries her about how Blake is doing. "What happened in the meeting?" Gwen asks. Immediately realizing what came out of her mouth, she wishes she could slap herself for being invasive when she was just worrying about it."It's about some old drama." She sees the hesitation in Kelly to overspill some more. She understands why since it may not be Kelly's position to disclose. Gwen ends up nodding in understanding and decides to excuse herself from the small group to get her purse."I have a bad feeling about what this is." Gwen hears Alicia in the background as she puts her phone in her bag. She decides to redirect her attention since she may not be ready for what she is about to hear next. Gwen felt like she knows too much already. Her head wants to burst out of all the things replaying in her head.She wonders how Blake is doing and then debates with herself about asking Kelly for some details. She settles for quietly leaving the office after saying her good-byes to Kelly and Alicia. The conversation she had with the girls replays in her head that she almost forgot to thank the guard who helped bring up her stuff a while ago. Once she got in the car, more thoughts enter her head. Knowing she's alone, she lets out a loud sigh of frustration about not knowing what to do.She begins to think that if her head is this messed up for something she didn't experience first-hand, it must be worse on Blake's end. She wishes she could do something, but she and Blake are not even close, to begin with."Okay, Gwen. Take it easy. Jeez, you're here to work," she tells herself out loud. She does a little ritual to try and shake things off. Today has been a long day. My first day at work is really something. Out of impulse, she turns on her car engine and drives to one of her favorite Italian restaurants.She takes her time looking at the menu to finalize the order in her head. She successfully takes Blake off her mind, for the time being, so she does her best to make the most out of it. After being sure of what she'll order, Gwen decides to look around.Out of luck or, perhaps, faith, she sees Blake just outside the restaurant. He is walking with a tense look on his face. She is startled by the cashier, telling her it's her turn. Seeing he's headed for the coffee shop beside the restaurant she's at, she imprints that in her head and proceeds to tell the guy in front of her an order good for two.As if things are suddenly going her way, she sees Blake walk out of the coffee shop with nothing in hand. There happens to be only one parking space in the plaza, so she quickly goes to her car and finds Blake entering his own truck.She might be charged with stalking after this, especially if Blake finds out, but she pushes that thought out of her brain and keeps her space from his car as she drives behind him.Gwen is utterly glad that there were other cars she can hide behind on, so if ever Blake notices her car, he won't call 911 or something like that. She is nervous and a little paranoid, but her curiosity keeps on winning. When she sees Blake make a turn, and doesn't see any further roads. She goes straight and embeds the landmark in her thoughts.She sees another Lifestyle Strip and decides to park her car there. Gwen takes the food with her, not minding if she will look silly, as she walks towards the little path Blake's truck turned on. Gwen sort of regrets wearing wedge heels since she had to walk on the grass where the path ends. Thankfully, it wasn't stilettos which could've made things possibly turn out worse.She honestly doesn't know where she is going, but her gut keeps telling her to go straight until Gwen sees a brief flat area where a truck is parked. She looks around first to see if there's anyone else.Deciding that it is completely safe, she double checks if the truck is Blake's. Relying on her memory, she knows it's definitely his. There is no other way but straight, so Gwen continues walking.It was getting a little dark, and that frightens Gwen a little. She doesn't know where she is, although her phone was just in one of her pockets. She didn't even know that L.A. still had places covered in a bunch of trees and nature stuff. She is glad to know that and tries to focus on that thought.Eventually, she reaches a gate that was partially opened. She isn't confident about it not making a sound if she moves it, so Gwen tries her best to walk through the space while ensuring that the food in the bags wasn't going to be squished.Gwen reaches a line of trees, and then confusion settles in her brain. She looks around to see other paths. It took a while for her to see an opening in her right; she carefully walks towards it.Once she takes a peek, she sees Blake's back and the view he was looking at. Gwen is immediately mesmerized by what she saw. It seems like they were on a hill as the vast flat land overlooks a couple of buildings across L.A. The city remains busy as the view also contains the sun starting to set.The colors, the city lights, and the nature surrounding the ground she stands on take her breath away. If this a place Blake goes to after a long day at work, she would understand why. She gently whispers a 'wow' as a way to express her admiration for this place.She notices that Blake must have a certain liking for places with good views because she can't deny that the one by his office is also one worth the books. Blake is a CEO of a huge firm. It makes sense if he has access to places like what she just mentioned.Her concern for straining her neck from peeking is the next thought that comes into her head, so she decides to move. When she heard a twig snap, she prays to all Gods that Blake didn't hear it. Her breath quickens as she panics."Who's there?" Blake's defensive tone reaches her ears, and Gwen is suddenly stuck in place. She is quite sure that Blake can't see her from where he's standing, so it gives her time to think.She knows that if she leaves, she won't have the time to run as fast as she can. She doesn't know why, but her thought goes to the food. Gwen is also not sure if Blake wants company, but she's out of options at the moment. Deciding on the spur of the moment, she moves out of the tree lines to a spot where Blake would see her."Hi." She awkwardly smiles while announcing her presence. Gwen swears her heart started skipping a beat as she intakes Blake's figure. He is a little far from her, but she can feel his aura as if he was standing right in front of her.The silence that follows is far from her awkward greeting, but it felt maddening. She wants to say something so bad, but she already knows this might have been the overstepping she was worried about a while ago.He keeps his gaze on her, and her nerve levels won't go down. She tries reading him, but the distance makes it a little hard. Suddenly, she remembers how she bumped into him earlier, twice if she may add.The thought had an inconvenient timing, and she tries to utter something to try and make things easier. "I brought food." She raises the bag, and she notices how Blake shifted a bit from looking at her to the bag. She doesn't know if she saw it right, but she thinks he tried contemplating her offer."Not hungry," he manages. Gwen understands since she would also not be in the mood to eat after a bad day. She notices the exhale he lets out while going back to looking at the view."I'm sorry if I overstepped on something by following you out here," her eyes widen at her choice of words. The last part made her sound stalkerish. She doesn't want to do a facepalm in front of Blake, so she ends up biting her lip.She regains her composure just in time when Blake stares back at her. "S'okay." It's all he says, and Gwen nods at that. They had two interactions so far; this would be the third, so she settles on the understanding that Blake is not completely trusting her yet."I know this might be too much to ask, but is it okay if I keep you company?" She decides to be brave for the time being as she remembered Kelly's worried expression a while ago. Gwen won't push for any details from Blake, but if there's one thing that she's learned to treasure when she had her last bad day, it was her brother and sister-in-law being there. Gwen thinks she may not be the company he wants, but she still offers and will completely understand if he says no. "Not good company." She is genuinely shocked that Blake immediately responded to that. She lets out a sad but sympathetic smile. She watches as he looks down and tries to play with his foot subtlely. Gwen tries to contemplate her next words carefully, but she doesn't know where she got her sudden bravery from. "I think that's for me to determine, right?"The shocked look he quickly exhibits is something she caught. She doesn't verbalize it and waits for his gaze to be on her. He takes long, but Gwen doesn't mind. Time is not something she cares about at the moment. "You're warned," Blake almost whispered.Gwen keeps that in mind but doesn't push on it further. She goes the other route instead. "I think you deserve some company. I'm not a psychologist or some people reader, but a presence on my bad day has saved me, more than I want to admit."She tries vaguely saying something about herself, but making sure that her tone is not implying that Blake should share his too. She thinks that if she lets her genuine self talking, he may allow her to stay. Blake doesn't respond to that, and she doesn't mind.Instead, she carefully places the bag on the grass and slowly takes off her coat. She knows the ground is soft, but she wanted something a little more comfortable to sit on. Gwen is in the middle of taking off her coat when she sees Blake already take off his and place it on the spot right near her. The gesture has her frozen in place. She slowly forms a smile at his thoughtfulness and looks up to meet his seemingly neutral gaze."Thank you," she expresses, "You didn't have to, but thank you." The little repeat makes her a little paranoid, but she instantly disregards it and takes a seat. The space between her and Blake was enough, and Gwen thinks it's the least she could do with giving him some little privacy.She grabs the bag and looks inside for the food she wants to get out. She brings out a container with the pasta. She has to admit that she doesn't know what Blake likes, so she went for some bolognese with meatballs since it's quite a common pasta dish. Gwen leaves the container with the fork and tissue by her left. She looks up to Blake to silently tell him it's his, but she won't push. She brings out her own pasta take-out but doesn't eat it yet.The view is what she goes back to for the time being. It is as breathtaking as the first time she saw it a while ago. It is calming even for her, so she involuntarily smiles at it. Despite the silence lingering between her and Blake, she can't deny that she likes the company. She'd rather be here than alone in her new place. She knows this isn't her spot, but it's definitely something she'll revisit in her memories soon."This view is beautiful," Gwen remains in awe as she looks around, "I didn't know L.A. still had spots like this. It's refreshing." She might be crazy since she heard Blake muffle something, but she promised she wouldn't push, so she just looks up and smiles. A few seconds after, Blake crouches 'til he's almost sitting on the grass. Gwen quickly offers the coat she's sitting on, but Blake dismisses it through a simple but gentle gesture. She thinks that he might have sat on the grass a few times if he came here frequently. Still, she expresses her slight worry for his comfort."Are you sure? I can take off my coat and sit on it instead so that you can be comfortable on yours." Gwen is slightly nervous as she proceeds with her statement, but seeing Blake's barely-there smile makes her want to disregard it. She readjusts the container on her lap since she felt it slipping."S'Okay," he says again like what he did a while ago. "Don't want you cold out here." Gwen felt like her head created that statement. As if on cue, she felt the breeze hit her cheeks, and she shivers instantly. Blake's subtle and low chuckle that reaches her ears affirmed that he indeed said it out loud.She looks back at him again to let out a grateful smile. "Thank you for letting me stay here even if I sort of forced my company on you." Her statement is quite confusing, but it's already out, and she doesn't attempt to reword it. She opens her pasta and mixes it properly before twisting her fork to get a small bite. She wants to express how delicious it is, but Gwen kept it in her head since it might look like forcing Blake to eat. The paranoia in her head has her thinking she has sauce on her mouth, so she tries looking for a tissue, only to find out Blake was holding out one to her when she looked to her left. "Oh my gosh. Thank you. I'm sometimes messy when I eat. I‘m sorry." That sounds like a ramble to her, but she pushes it aside. “Don’t be.” Her mind might have created that, but she won’t further insist on it. Silence follows as Gwen kept looking at the view while eating the pasta in her container. She knows she felt Blake pull the bolognese nearer to him, but Gwen pretends not to notice since she doesn't want to make things seem awkward by letting her stance know she's explicitly looking at Blake's every move in her peripheral.She knows he hasn't eaten it 'cause she didn't hear the lid opening, but she keeps eating until she becomes thirsty. She brings out the bottle of water for the both of them. She also brings out the slightly warm soda. There's a chance he doesn't like Coke, but she will try.After placing both beverages on her left, she tries looking up and sees a small smile from Blake. Gwen settles for that and finishes her food. She notices that Blake's water was already out, and she remembers that he came out of the coffee shop with nothing earlier. She is silently proud of herself that everything she ordered was for two."Have you known this place for a while in L.A.?" She blurts out. The silence that follows reminds her of what she promised to avoid. She mentally kicks herself as her eyes widen. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask that exactly. It's okay if you won't answer. I promise." She rambles again, and another subtle chuckle from Blake makes her reconsider."S'Okay," he gently cuts her off. "Been in L.A. for a while. 6 years." "Oh, I see. That is a while," she giggles out of nowhere, "I've researched a little about Shelton Enterprises. I think it was around 6 years old, so you started it here in L.A.?" Gwen decides to settle for a topic about work. At least, that part wouldn't be too invasive.She catches his nod since he didn't utter anything after that. Gwen keeps her gaze on him since he was looking the other way. It gives her a chance to stare at him. She can't deny that he is handsome especially in the way he carries himself. It's the perfect combo of looking generally professional while keeping something signature about him.Blake may come off as intimidating, but as the seconds pass by, she realizes how unknowingly attractive he is. It's already nighttime, and she can see his blue eyes pop out more. She can't remember having a preference for that, based on her relationship record. That seems to change at this very moment.When he was on the verge of looking back at her, she tries to look to the view and not make it seem like she's panicking at the thought that he might have caught her staring. She exhales a little too loud and decides to drink the little amount of water left in her bottle.She's torn between wanting to start a conversation from not pressuring Blake to tell her anything personal. She tries to keep the debate in her head and prevent any of it from manifesting in her expression. She is still worried about how he's doing. Although she is keeping him company, she tries to prepare for the fact that Blake may ask her to leave."I don't wanna overstep like I already did, but you said 6 years here in L.A.?" When she sees him nod, it gives her a little bit of confidence. "So I think it's safe to assume that you're not from here?" She likes to think that it's more of a question than doubting her hearing skills.She doesn't say anything more than that and patiently waits for any form of answer from Blake. He looks at her, and her nerve levels are high again. He nods before unexpectedly following that up, "Born and raised in Oklahoma. Wanted a good career, so I went here to Cali."She sees him visibly struggle with trying to converse with her, so she gives him a grateful and appreciative look. He seemed to have picked it up and smiled back at her. Despite her nerves still in high gear, she wants to, at least, show Blake that anything would do. Letting her stay this long was actually a shocking gesture from him. Based on their previous interaction, it was cut short. And well, the interview is a different story."I knew it." She smiles. She doesn't see many people from California or even New York wear a vest and boots to work. It's different, and she likes that. "You definitely look like a cowboy. I think that's rad. Thank you for telling me."She thinks Blake's smile was a little bigger than the last one if she wasn't crazy. She breaks their gaze first since she can't handle the rate her heart is going and admires the view for the nth time. "I can't deny that being here is something I miss. There are a lot of opportunities in NYC, but home will always hit different even if you haven't been there for a while."She didn't mean to open up like that, but she definitely understands why he went out to L.A. to seek some opportunities since there are a lot of partners you can gain here in California when it comes to their industry. She doesn't want to judge Oklahoma since she hasn't seen the place in close up, but she thinks that maybe Blake could expand his company there and bring the opportunities he's looking for since he is from there."Yeah. I miss home too. But I think home is a person than a place." The way he said it shocks her. She didn't intend for anything, but she's glad that, for the time being, he could share something sentimental to her. Her heart softens at that and smiles a little too big for her liking.People might think that statement is cliché, but it's something she wholeheartedly agrees with. She looks back at Blake to express that. The small panic on his face sort of confuses her, but she won't point it out. "I think so too. Home is a place of comfort and feeling safe." She verbalizes her agreement to him instead. She doesn't know if she saw it right, but he had a little relief on his face."I think you're not a bad company at all despite what you've warned me about a while back." She doesn't know how long they've been here, but she doesn't care. She emphasizes the 'warned' part and quickly giggles. Blake remains silent, and his demeanor is less tense than a while ago when he caught her "stalking". That word makes her nervous again, but she disregards it. Gwen knows that there's a lot she doesn't know about Blake yet, but she doesn't let it bother her for the time being. Instead, she is grateful to the heavens above that she could spend a little time with him, even if this might be the first and last. Despite her nerves, she feels safe at this moment, more than she'd like to admit. She hopes that Blake could feel something close to that, if not the same, too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The way how yesterday turned out was not something Blake wholly expected. He's quite sure he could've gotten calls from Kelly or the same comfort text from Adam or Luke, but he got company from the woman who has rendered him more speechless than he already is since day 1.He'd be too stupid to deny that having her presence there meant everything to him. But of course, she doesn't actually know that because of his insecurities about himself. A round of applause for Blake, everyone. When he saw her from behind the trees last night, he felt extremely nervous but did his best to hide it. At first, he was curious, and then he may have guessed that Kelly could've said something, which made Gwen follow him all the way here.He knows Kelly and his other friends worry about him, and he appreciates that a lot. What he's not liking is dragging Gwen into his messy life, especially that she's someone new in his circle. She is too pure and too kind to be linked with someone like him. He warned her about not being good company. Blake lowkey thanked the heavens that she stayed, but he also feels the pull and tug in his heart because the beautiful woman sleeping on the passenger's seat doesn't know what she's getting into.He will never be good for her. She doesn't have to get to that point to know it. If he could protect her from him, that's exactly what he would do.Unfortunately, that is precisely the problem. He can't stay away from her. Blake already tried yesterday by going to this spot. As usual, faith loves to play with him, and he falls into the bait. He was always in a war with his head whether to take it easy on Gwen or not last night.When he's reminded of wanting to protect her, he doesn't regret it, but he immediately changes his decision when he figures out how much he wants her there. She is pulling him towards her, and he debates on wanting to resist and giving in. As he learns a little bit more about her last night, his urge to protect her rises.The way she tried to be considerate with him because of his 'bad day' doesn't go unnoticed. He sees all the times she held herself back and decided what to ask and how to ask. He wanted to hug her and tell her that he appreciates her company and that he is grateful she is there. Obviously, that didn't happen. Perfect, Blake. Having her instead is a breath of fresh air for him. As he said, he appreciates everything Kelly, Adam, and Luke do. Blake feels like they're getting tired of him and his attitude, so he definitely knows that the possibility of them drifting away is coming soon.That's all he ever does, pulling people in and eventually pushing them away until they realize he isn't worth it. It's something he wants to spare Gwen off, but last night proved to him that he couldn't. He could never say no to her, not to her genuine heart or her beautiful being.The sound of the shifting he hears startles him out of his thoughts. He looks to his right in panic but immediately calms down to see her still sleeping.As the night went on, Gwen was starting to feel sleepy. He didn't know where she lived and didn't want to make the wrong impression of bringing her to his home, so he gently carried her to his car and placed a blanket over her to keep herself warm.Blake was arguing in his head about carrying her or not, but when he recalls how her frame might have fallen head-first to the grass, he disregarded those thoughts.He drove them to the nearest lifestyle strip so that she won't panic when she wakes up in the middle of nowhere, thinking she might have been kidnapped. Thinking about himself and about her kept him up for most of the night.The long night also gave him so much time to look at her and appreciate how gorgeous she is. Even if she was sleeping and tired, she looks perfect. He certainly believes that it isn't possible for someone to be so beautiful all the time, but Gwen is living proof right in front of him.He carefully leans on his right against his seat, so he can observe for the nth time, trying to distract himself from all of his thoughts. Everything about her looks expected from a strong woman like her in this industry yet he finds himself being mesmerized by her entire being.Blake seems to have a growing admiration of thinking about what her eyes would look like if she'd wake up at this moment. Then again, he is also nervous for that moment to arrive, which could be anytime now. He sees a couple of wrinkles form on her forehead, then goes back to normal and immediately wonders what she is dreaming about.His attention goes to the strand of hair sliding down her cheek. He is tempted to tuck it behind her ear but is also genuinely afraid that it may wake her up. He didn't touch her the entire night except when he carried her. He tries to inaudibly inhale as a way to control himself from fixing that stray strand of hair. He is exactly aware of the moment where he throws all thinking out the window and instantly raises his arm to reach for her.The approach remains consistently slow to give himself a few seconds of trying to gain all sense back into his head, but none of it comes back. His heart starts to pound as his hand goes closer to her cheek. Thinking it's now or never, he goes for the hair that he wants to tuck back. Out of the blue, Gwen begins shifting again, and he immediately draws his hand back. He needs some air, so he quietly makes his way out of the car and decides to buy breakfast for Gwen at the nearest cafe.Once he checks the time on his phone, 7:30 am, he thinks it is a reasonable time to purchase breakfast. Thank God there was one cafe that is already open in the lifestyle strip, which eases his worries about being too far away from Gwen. His car is still in view, so he looks back once in a while to check if someone might have broken the window and took Gwen with them.The thought makes him want to demand the crew to move faster, but he stays put. He lets out a little loud exhale to calm himself down.Waiting is not always something he's good at, but he manages to keep it to himself. His leg was already bouncing like crazy, although he always ends up deciding not to do anything.When the waiter approaches him and places the bag on the table, he almost wanted to scream to thank the heavens, but that leaves to happen in an alternate universe in his head. Blake tries to be subtle about leaving the cafe as fast as he could. As soon as the door was completely closed, his legs have a mind of their own and quickly make their way back to his truck. He looks down and thinks of different possibilities of what to say to Gwen.All of them end up being disregarded since he isn't satisfied with the stuff he came up with. The side of his car is tinted, and when he realizes he's there, he just lets it be and will go with the flow on whatever happens. Screw it. He opens the car door and carefully hops in, thinking that Gwen is still sleeping. Well, not exactly."Blake?" His eyes widen the moment her raspy morning voice hits his ears. Shit. He pulls out all strength to recover from his mind going down the gutter so that things won't end up awkward.He turns to her and exhibits a small smile. He sees her visibly relax a little but confusion is written all over her face. Half of the blanket fell on her lap, and she was looking around. He involuntarily places the bag on his lap and keeps his eyes on her."Is this your car?" she respectfully asks. He forgot to stray his gaze away when she looked back, but then it was too late to do that when the thought crosses his head. Blake can't form any response yet, so he resorts to nodding.Gwen returns a cute and small smile, in probable acknowledgment of his response. He contemplates about expounding his answer, knowing she deserves that.Blake knows his statement won't be comprehensive, but he wants to try for her. It takes him a minute. As he shifts, Gwen's full attention is back on him. "Don't know where you live." He's suddenly so nervous if she'll pick that up."I understand. Thank you for letting me sleep here. I didn't mean to intrude." The way she responds shocks him. He wants to beat himself if he's exuding that vibe. He never wants her to feel like she overstepped, but he also knew he lacked in the reassuring department.He thinks about his next response too much that he almost visibly panics when he realizes the silence took too long. "S'okay. Don't mind," he blurts out. Really, Blake? She visibly accepts his answer, and he feels bad for her how she has to deal with him. Blake doesn't show that, though, since he doesn't want her to think that he's making this moment too much about him. The urge to have a conversation is exchanged with observing her as she covers herself with the blanket.The temptation to go to her and cuddle her up until she feels warm is a huge one, yet it remains in his imagination. He watches her blow into her hands and fights that want to hold them. Instead, he turns down the air conditioner to acknowledge that she feels cold."Why do you have blankets in your car?" It's a curious question that he knows she'll ask, and he's totally fine with it.He doesn't know when that thought starts, but he goes for the honest route. "Don't sleep at home sometimes." He wants to elaborate on that, but he doesn't know if that's too much for her to know. Another debate with his mind occurs, and he wishes that his brain could have an off switch in the thinking aspect."I'm not here to judge." Her brave yet gentle words cause him to quickly shift his gaze back to her as they exchange small smiles. The silence that follows is something he is okay with.Blake's attention briefly goes to the breakfast he bought and carefully brought it nearer to her. He sees the moment she realizes, and the smile she wears next is something he will imprint in his mind for the rest of his life."Blake, you didn't have to." When she got a hold of the bag, she easily saw the contents. "Wait, this is a full breakfast. Whoa. You seriously didn't have to." He could never resist the small chuckle at how cute she is. It's like someone never brought her breakfast. That thought quickly makes him mad, but he disregards that quickly, too, so he won't ruin Gwen's mood. Being around her hasn't made him think of yesterday's events before she hung out with him. For that, he is grateful."I um," the thought dissipates the moment he speaks, and he wishes he could kick himself. "May I..." He stopped and decided to tap the steering wheel gently. He knows she won't get it. All he wants to do is drive her home so that she could get ready for work. Damn it, Blake. "My car is parked here." It's what she says, and he feels slightly relieved yet sad about it. He knows he can't handle himself well in front of her, but he also wants her to stay. Both possible responses stay deep into his head. Instead, he nods to acknowledges and smiles at her one more time.Her smile will always light up his day. He's starting to wish more and more that he could see it often."Thank you for this breakfast, Blake. I hope you bought something for yourself too," she begins while he loses his train of thought and stares at her. "Thank you for allowing me to keep you company last night." Thank you, pretty girl. She makes her way to leave the vehicle, leaving the blanket on the car seat. He fights the urge to tell her not to leave, but he knows he won't ever be in the position to request that from her. He already failed to keep her at bay last night. This is his second chance to protect her from him."Gwen," his mouth apparently had a mind of its own, and his heart skips a beat when she remains attentive to him and actively waiting for his follow-up.He wants to be articulate this time as one last effort for her. Despite his nerves, he blurts out the words as gently as possible. "See you at work." He tries to swallow the lump in his throat subtly.All nerves briefly fade when he sees that smile again. "See you, Blake."Just like that, she's gone and off to walk to her car. He leans towards the wheel and grips it tightly. She won't come back to the car, Blake. For Pete's sake. Gwen has made him a little more vulnerable for his liking, for God knows how long was the last time. It sort of scares him and brings back to life the pull-and-tug of drawing closer to her or straying away from the feelings and things she makes him feel or do.He can't deny that he believed her when she said she wouldn't judge. None of her actions or demeanor showcased that. He likes to make himself believe that everything coming from her was a form of care. He knows it's dangerous for Gwen. His insecurities come back, and he almost wants to punch the wheel.He knows some of these thoughts are too much, so he takes one big breath. Blake doesn't want this to ruin the bright side of the previous night and his morning. With one last effort, he pushes those away like he perfectly nails with people. He still has to report for work. At least, that won't put him into too much debate with himself.-----The efforts to prepare as quickly as he can for work were disregarded. Gwen remains in his head the entire morning, which made him move a little slower.Blake doesn't stop thinking about how she was there the entire night and how her face lit up when he brought her breakfast. She's consistent about not pushing him too much, and he wonders if she'll get tired of that. Damn it. We're at it again. He closes his eyes, inhales, and shakes off the nerves as he takes a deep breath before exiting the elevator. He is definitely alone, so he knew he could do that little ritual freely.The moment he passes the archway, his eyes involuntarily find Gwen's area to see if she's there. Kelly is quick to approach him, which didn't give him enough time to check."You're not too tense after a day like yesterday," Kelly's boldness is something he is always taken aback with but likes about her, especially since it is needed a lot in her job. He knows he is late for work, but he is surprised that Kelly focused on something else instead.Kelly continues to talk as he walks into his office. He nods every now and then to acknowledge what she's saying. He knows she is talking about how he won't show up the following day or come in with a similar bad mood after days like those.He does realize the difference and doesn't tell Kelly to thank the gorgeous woman working by the other end of the short walkway. His thoughts play with him, but, at the end of the day, things could've been worse if Gwen wasn't there.Blake grabs his work phone and a mini phonebook from one of his drawers once he reaches his desk. He knew Kelly saw it since he heard her announce a familiar set of words.As he enters the meeting room, everyone was already settled in. He immediately sees Gwen beside Kelly, and she was breathtaking as always.He quickly recovers from being briefly distracted and walks to the front to quietly sit down on the familiar chair. He nods at Kelly to let her speak since he's still a little bit out of his head, knowing Gwen is in close proximity."Everyone knows the usual. When something like yesterday happens, the project deadlines will also be moved a day later," Kelly begins. Blake is nervous, but he knows he has to step up for this surprise meeting. It's why he sometimes doesn't show up the following day to avoid this, but he reconsidered his options."I'll talk to the clients. Don't worry," Blake utters. He knows Kelly is shocked about his sudden input, and Blake tries to hide the unexplainable feeling in his stomach. "We'll deliver quality work, but pulling of strings is up to me. Got that under control."He is lucky that most of their deadlines are flexible, but he knows he doesn't take advantage of it a lot. Yesterday just got a little too much for him that he got up and left.Kelly says a few reminders that he doesn't listen carefully to. He suddenly remembers something and waits for his turn to talk.Everyone was about to leave when Blake cleared his throat and stood up as gentle as he could. "Uh," he scratches his chin out of reflex, and he swore that could've been embarrassing. It takes a little while, but he recovers."Didn't get a chance to welcome our SVP. Y'all meet Gwen Stefani." Blake's nerves almost took over, but he pushes it away just in time. "SVP for interior design. Give your designs to her for review and all that." He doesn't mind the extra effort for Gwen, and he sees her shyly smile as she waves to everyone. The rest of the staff clapped to welcome her, and Blake is glad she got this welcome from everyone. He knew he put her, and even Kelly, on the spot, but all thought flies out the building when he sees her shy smile."Work hard. Work with heart," Blake closes. Everyone knew that it was the cue for the meeting to end, so everyone was packing up their little notebooks to leave. He lets himself get trapped into his own little world to calm himself down a little bit. After fumbling with the phonebook, he instantly remembers something, so he looks up to find Kelly and Gwen taking their time to leave the meeting area. He jogs a little to catch up on them."Gwen, a word. Please," Blake spoke almost a bit too fast."Okay. I'll just be outside for a while. To give y'all some privacy." Kelly tries to hide her grin as she energetically walks out of the meeting area and closes the door.Blake's nerves are back in action, and he suddenly forgets what he was supposed to request or talk about with Gwen.She beats him to it. "You didn't have to do that. It's fine." He looks at her intently and knows she's referring to his little introduction of her earlier. It's his subtle way of giving back for what she's done for him the night before. He immediately makes out a common excuse that could work for the time being. "Tradition. Welcoming new people promotes a good environment."Her comforting smile lets him know that she figured out how he remembers what she said from the interview. Blake doesn't voice out anything else and keeps his gaze on her. She still looks good even if she didn't exactly sleep comfortably last night. "Um, about..." he hesitates and ends up stuttering until he fell into silence. Embarrassment is something he feels and hopes that it won't manifest in his demeanor. He stands up straight to get a quick look at Gwen. He is surprised to see the patience in her eyes. That could've tempted him so much to get lost in, but he opts for the opposite. "About last night," he begins nervously, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"The shock that appears on Gwen's face almost threw him off balance. Instead, he exhales and fumbles with the phonebook he has on hand. "Why not?" She asks, and he knew this was one of the follow-ups. It was a question from a genuine reaction instead of a judgment. The realization almost made him reconsider."It's easier if no further questions are asked," he rapped. "Just don't tell. Not even Kelly." Blake is a little scared, and he now really wants to kick himself for how much he's showing this side of him to Gwen. He swore just hours ago that he wouldn't drag her into his mess."Okay," she quickly but gently replies. His eyes widen at that. She was easy to convince about it, and he's not ready to meet other emotions he might see in her eyes. He is almost relieved that he is spared the discussion. He wants to thank her so bad but settles for nothing."That'd be all." It's all he says and opens the door for her. He gestures and nods.The small smile he sees in his peripheral doesn't go unnoticed. He waits for her to walk out before closing the door fully. His eyes fall onto her as she goes for her cubicle. She remains elegant, as if what they talked about a few seconds a while ago is something professional.His fingers lowkey fumble with the knob until Kelly snaps him out of his bubble. "You never did that with the Vice Presidents," Kelly points out. "Like you introduce them to everyone. Not until a formal company event or something."The look he gives Kelly wants to tell her to just brush it off. He doesn't respond anything and finally lets go of the doorknob. He tried to look not so tense about it as possible. He senses that Kelly hasn't left his side yet and sets his attention on her again.Kelly's knowing grin makes his nerves shoot through the roof, and he tries his best to hide it. He gives a look, and he sees the moment she lets it go for the time being. "Okay... Okay... Just saying," Kelly raises her hands but keeps her voice down while walking to her own cubicle, leaving Blake alone to his thoughts once more.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
If there is anything that Gwen is utterly glad for, it's that she manages to keep her composure when she's too occupied in her thoughts.It's a skill she desperately needed for work during the past four days. She has been nothing but confused about what Blake had requested from her days ago.The morning after their little 'bond' time took her by surprise. She didn't expect all the kind gestures from him. She won't even deny that the breakfast she got had her heart softening at the effort.As much as she'd like to spend some more time, she figured he might need the space from her. A fair share of people having enough of her wasn't new to Gwen. She's not sure where's the limit with Blake, but she didn't want to test it for the time being.And besides, he doesn't say a lot to her, so she doesn't want to push too much either by asking him further questions of curiosity and such during that morning.When they saw each other again at work though, she figured he would be less tense. Well, he was if she were to put it that way, but his request almost knocked her off her feet if she didn't manage the composure in time.She just agreed with his request and she swore she saw the shock in his face right after that. Gwen had the option to inquire about it, but she noticed how his shoulders relaxed, so she left it that way. But now, the more she thinks about that moment and their little sharing the night before, the more it leaves her confused 'til this day.She doesn't know what's wrong with showing a little bit of yourself to others. There's nothing illegal with expressing yourself as long as it doesn't step on others. When he requested that she won't mention it even to Kelly, that had her wondering especially since she knew Kelly and Blake were close based on the amount of concern Kelly has for Blake on a personal level.Gwen could be assuming everything for all she knows, but she is certain that there is more to why Blake could be like this. She is determined to find out, but her little promise to herself has her torn too.
Goddamnit, Gwen. Focus. You have been going back and forth on this so much.
Thankfully, someone handed her something to review and sign. She finally found a little distraction from the thoughts that continue to bother her.Speaking of work, everything has been going well. For the past four days, she has already approved 3 projects after suggesting and revising a few of the designs.The talent of the people around her has her learning so much in a small chunk of time. She saw different takes on some common and mixed design concepts which have her mesmerized at the fact that it can be interpreted in that way. When she was a little scared of suggesting too much, they turned out to be star-quality inputs because it made the overall vibe of the designs fit the client's taste better.The work gets more diverse, the more designs she sees and approves. Gwen can see this opportunity to apply it to her own craft one day.As she reads the proposal she's holding, she takes note that she needs to be present in the majority of the stages since the client, apparently, is a big and good deal for the company. He wants a penthouse office, and they have to fly to San Francisco to meet him about the designs."What? We're going to fly today?" Gwen whispers to herself. That sends her to a little panic, and she immediately checks her phone if she has anything to do today. Gladly, there was barely anything, so she thinks she can manage. San Francisco is like a one-hour to a two-hour flight, so she knew it wouldn't be much of a hassle for them.The little note at the bottom says that the designs may be subject to change depending on how their meeting will go. It just needs her signature to get things started, so she signs it. When she realizes she has to bring the folder to Blake, her heart starts pounding.Her confusion, paired with the frequent visits to Blake's office to let him sign the designs for the past days, tested the composure she was talking about. He'd be gentle at certain points, but he'd also quickly change moods the longer she spent inside the office. It's not her fault that he takes a little while to sign everything. She has the option to ask someone else to do it, but she saw it more as an opportunity to have a reason to be near Blake in hopes of helping with her confusion.Unfortunately, she barely got anything but more of that. What a master plan, Gwen. She takes a deep breath as she stood up and prepared to bring the folder to Blake's office. It's now or never. It is as if she didn't do this little ritual for the past days already.Out of respect, she knocks gently on the glass door before trying to go in. When she heard another voice allow her, Gwen decides to take the chance. She didn't expect to see Blake's friend, Adam, there. She has seen him visit twice, but she knew it wasn't her place to ask anyone, not even Kelly, about why Adam frequently visits. All she knows is that Alicia mentioned to her that they are close."Oh my god. It's for real. Gwen Stefani is working here," Adam vibrantly greets. The guy offers his hand to shake and Gwen gladly accepts."I have heard a lot about you and your music too. It's a pleasure to meet you," Gwen smiles as she also tries to walk closer to the front of Blake's desk. "The honor is all mine. Your designs have been a killer too." Adam briefly stops when she is about to place the folder on top of the desk. She pushes the folder closer to him since she doesn't mind the extra effort. "Thank you," she acknowledges before facing Blake completely. "Sir Blake, here's another proposal that needs to be signed today."She notices the small smile he offers her before proceeding to focus on the file. Her nerves were quite getting the best of her, so she faces Adam for the time being."Anyways, I was hoping maybe I could get professional advice and consultations from you. Behati and I are planning to put up a little house outside LA. We just want a place to stay outside LA since we decided not to expose our kid too much in busy environments," Adam explains."That would be an honor for me," Gwen places her hands above her heart to contain the gratitude she feels. "Um, are we allowed to take personal clients?" She looks towards Blake who seems stuck on the proposal. She sees Blake visibly realize that the question was directed towards him after a little push from Adam. He quickly looks up and offers a gentle nod at her. Gwen visibly relaxes at that. It dawns on her that the company's principle of valuing professional growth is something they follow with heart, based on stories shared with her too."I'd love to take on that opportunity, Sir Adam," Gwen finally addresses."Just call me Adam. Being called Sir is not exactly something I like," Adam chuckles. She nods to acknowledge that and looks briefly at Blake to see if he's done signing it. "Oh and here's a card with my number, so we can talk about this further. I have a feeling that you and my wife, Behati, will be great friends.""Thank you," she carefully gets the card and examines it quickly before placing it in her pocket. "It'd be a pleasure to meet your wife. I do hope we get along well." She immediately looks up to continue the conversation."I think that's not gonna be a problem. Behati is definitely a girl with a lot of energy, but I promise she's nice." As Adam chuckled, Gwen followed along, knowing that Behati may have the same vibes as her sister-in-law. She is definitely looking forward to meeting her."Anyways, I hate to cut the conversation short, but I have to get back to my desk to get some more work done," Gwen concludes, "It was great meeting you, Adam." She lets out her hand again to shake as a way to show that's she's grateful for the light encounter which helped her nerves around Blake."Of course. See you around, Gwen. I hope this sasquatch isn't giving you a hard time," Adam jokes. It took her a while to know who he was referring to. When she realizes, she tries to suppress the laugh about the nickname."Sir Blake is a great guy," she smiles. Deep down, she is confident he is despite not knowing the real reasons behind his demeanor. "Sir Blake, I'll be at my desk. I'll come back for the proposal later."When Blake responds with a short but gentle "okay," she is 100% certain that it was a shocked expression that Adam portrayed on his face. It brings more questions to her head as to why Adam had reacted like that, but she tries to focus all of her strength on calmly walking out of Blake's office.She is sure she can be called crazy at this point with all of the questions and thoughts that take turns in her head. As a way to help relax herself, Gwen makes an effort to take a deep breath to help release some of the tension she feels inside as she sits down on her office chair."Hey, Gwen. Can I talk to you about something?" As common as this sounds like what everyone else shares, those kinds of conversation starters send her nerves to a whole other level. Yet, she opts to face and, hopefully, recover from the sudden rush of nerves."Yeah, sure." She contemplates punching herself because that definitely sounded shaky at the beginning. She just prays that Kelly won't point it out. Shit. I hope I'm not too obvious. "I just want to say sorry about the project with Sir Jason Rein. I didn't inform you about it as soon as possible," Kelly says."It's alright," Gwen replies with a small smile directed to Kelly, "I have no other errands or appointments today aside from work, so I'm all good.""Right on!" Kelly's enthusiasm is something she is internally grateful for since it does help her feel more at ease especially with all the feelings she has about being new in her job and about Blake. She hasn't expressed it to her yet, but Gwen will definitely find a convenient timing one of these days."I just have a question." That brought Kelly's full attention back on her after attending to someone else. Gwen took that as her cue to proceed. "Why does this Mr. Rein want to have a meeting with us personally at San Francisco?""It's actually one of the client's requests. I remember in one of the projects that we've worked on before that he said something about wanting us to see the place so that if we have any revisions on the designs, it can be addressed right then and there and appropriately too. He also pays a big amount of money. So even if Sir Blake is adamant about not having him anymore, the projects department still accepts him." Kelly continues on and Gwen didn't have to add follow-up questions to get the answers she needs. She takes note about the Blake but won't ask about it for now."Well, he does have a point there," Gwen wholly agrees with that strategy when she came to think about it. Seeing the place does provide giving the client and the designer with some inspiration since they'd already had a close visualization of how can the design come to life. It's also a chance for the client and designer to meet in the middle when it comes to revisions and other topics.Sometimes, the designs come out a whole lot better that way. So now, Gwen understands that part for this specific client."What time do we leave for San Francisco by the way?" Gwen asks after the brief silence that followed from her input."Oh shoot. Yeah, hold on," Kelly takes a peek at her wristwatch and double checks the little notebook she's holding. "The plane leaves in an hour and a half. Don't worry there is a private plane prepared for us. We just have to go to the airport and board."Hearing that sends some sort of adrenaline rush to Gwen's veins as she starts to gather the important things she'll need that was on the table. She suddenly remembers that the proposal is still with Blake."Kelly." By the tone of Blake's voice, Gwen knows something isn't right."Yes, Sir Blake?" Kelly stops in the middle of the walkway, oblivious to the topic at bay."What did I say about including Gwen in this?" He raises the folder to his side, so Kelly (and Gwen) could see it. Gwen can his hand shaking. She's not sure if it is out of anger or simply frustration. It could be a combination of both.That's the most she's heard from him if she were to exclude his request from her days ago. She can also see the shocked expression on Kelly's face as she couldn't believe the words that came out of him."Um Sir Blake, I just talked to her about it a couple of minutes ago. I think she is fine with it," Kelly tries to keep everything down, knowing that there are other people in the office."I don't want her there," Blake emphasizes every word he said then she notices his, now, stern expression. Gwen is not sure what the commotion is about, but she's also not quite confident on where to butt in to help Kelly."Sir," Kelly cautiously gestures with her hands as a signal to tell Blake to calm down, "she is the SVP in the interior design department. It's important that she's there.""Kelly-" Gwen sees the moment Blake halts himself and closes his eyes to keep his composure. She notices the rise and fall of Blake's chest as if he's going through a wave of emotions but does his very best to contain it."Sir Blake," Kelly begins again and once she catches Blake's pissed face, she decides to step in and cuts Kelly off mid-sentence."I think this is a decision I'm supposed to make. Right, Blake?" She keeps her tone firm to sound professional. The moment Blake's gaze lands on her, it becomes difficult for her to read him since she saw a lot going on in his eyes."No. I don't want you to go there," Blake repeats with more emphasis as he spoke to her. She doesn't see anything wrong with her flying to San Francisco since this is a work matter."What's the problem, Sir Blake?" She wants to scold herself for addressing him with only his first name a few seconds back, so she tries to correct that the second time around."If I could protect you from him, I will," Blake expresses. Suddenly, her confusion becomes more apparent."Protect me from what?" She couldn't control the puzzled look she exhibits. "Nothing." That's all she got? She catches the moment that Blake tries to go back into his cocoon and hide. This time she won't let him. To hell with that promise. This is about work. "So you're going to leave me hanging?" Anger is a little bit of an understatement. "You expect people to buy the short end of the stick when you give them reasons but don't explain to them. You put Kelly on the spot when none of it is her fault." She takes a brief to exhale to prevent her voice from breaking. "When I ask, you just dismiss the conversation and act as if none of it happened. Make it make sense, Blake!""You don't know Jason," Blake dodges the topic she brought up and takes a step closer to make himself look intimidating, but Gwen stands her ground. Despite his stance, she notices how he tried to keep his tone in check."He's a client," Gwen states as a matter of factly. She raises one of her eyebrows in the process."Can't you just listen?" His resolve isn't as strong she'd like to think and she knows she's playing with fire. Frankly, she doesn't care about the other people who could be seeing this. She is sure she saw Adam and Alicia at the corner of her eye, observing the commotion, but she doesn't acknowledge."Can't you stop being confusing for once?" She answers back and she sees the moment that Blake officially loses control."Excuse me?" The way his voice sounded partially strained had her thinking he was offended or called out for whatever nerve she finally hit."You heard me," Gwen huffs out to make herself look intimidating as well even if she was standing against Blake's large figure."What part of I don't want you to go there can you not understand?" That may as well be a shout coming from him, but Gwen can take what she could get rather than his usual neutral or debating-with-himself look."Tell me your reason and I just might," Gwen challenges. Her stance is almost similar to Blake's as they're both fuming. Kelly tries to calm both of them down, but she was ignored.He remains silent after her quick remark. She tries to wait a few more seconds to give him a chance. When he doesn't, Gwen knows that she's not getting anything from this discussion other than what just transpired, so she decides to leave. She is so done with this."Kelly, let's go. The plane might leave us behind," Gwen persists as she picks up her purse from her cubicle and snatches the folder from Blake's right hand."No!" She feels Blake's grip on her arm. It was tight but not enough to hurt her. Gwen's immediate reaction was to shake his hand off to free herself, but Blake was as persistent as her to make her stay."Let me go," she turns around and tries to wiggle her arm. She was once again unsuccessful. "Let me go!" Gwen repeated and emphasized every word that came out of her mouth."I said I don't want you there, Gwen!" Blake implies while pulling her closer to him. It wasn't abrupt, so she had the time to resist. Gwen was too pissed at him that she was focused on freeing herself from his grip before speaking anything else."Like I said," She says after one quite strong tug that Blake briefly stopped his pull, "That is my decision to make." She engages in a death-stare contest with Blake right after.None of them knows how long they were staring at each other. Gwen has had enough and she still feels Blake's touch on her arm."Let go of my arm!" She grunts, but Blake's grip was stronger than hers and she accidentally collided with his chest after one particular pull."Do as I say. You're staying here." His tone was back to being cold but firm. His stubbornness is getting on the last of her nerves and all hell breaks loose."So you're controlling me now?" She angrily interjects. Gwen huffs before saying her next set of words with confidence she has never felt and quite doesn't know where it's from. If this gets her fired, then it all boils down to whatever luck or faith she has. "You can control this company for all I care, but not the people who work in it."The moment she takes a good look at Blake's face, the startled expression he exhibits is something she has never seen. At the same time, his grip on her loosens. Gwen took that chance to draw her arm away from him. She turns, looks over to Kelly, and motions for her to go ahead. They walk out of the floor and past a few familiar and stunned people she knew by face, but nothing compares to Blake's figure that remained standing in the exact spot she left him as he is frozen on his tracks.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
One long and deep exhale later, and he might be back to his senses.He can't move from his position just yet as he tries to let the situation process in his brain."Sir?" A particular voice startles him back to reality, officially.Blake tries not to make it too obvious when he clears his throat and fixes his shirt. He looks around and takes about a minute to formulate an appropriate response."Sorry 'bout that." He wanted that to be a whisper, but he does feel responsible for the situation since he was the one who (technically) started their argument, so he projects his voice loud enough to let everyone in the area hear him.When everyone tries to go back to work, he acknowledges and thanks Alicia's effort, who is a few steps away from him, before walking back into his office. He temporarily forgets about Adam standing by the door and nervously walks towards his chair, although he doesn't want to make the latter evident."That was," Adam starts and immediately pauses in an attempt to say the right word, "something."Blake ignores the remark as he took a seat; then, the recent events flashback to him again so are his feelings.He feels his heart pounding as he recalls Gwen's stubbornness about going to that freaking meeting with Jason Rein. He wants to punch himself for forgetting to remove that small detail in the proposal. But, apparently, his stance was not enough to convince Gwen to stay put. If I could protect you from him, I will. At this point, Blake should scold himself. He couldn't control the expression he exhibited after saying that. It was meant to be a thought. Gwen is allowed to work with anyone but Jason.
To damn with hell, why can't she understand that.
As much as he wanted to continue being furious with her, the way Gwen stood her ground caught him off guard. She knows what she wants, but she is also determined to find out how and why things wouldn't go that way. He also never expected her to call him out, which is primarily why he could've almost been off his feet. However, he is aware she will start taking notice. Despite his efforts of keeping things subtle with her, there are times where he just can't.There is no way he can begin to explain when he touched Gwen for the first time. The circumstances weren't ideal, but he forgets that small detail. Suddenly, he's shocked at himself for being able to keep a hold of her even if she was determined to let go from his grip.Nothing surprises him more for how unprepared he was when Gwen collided against his chest as well. He didn't intend to pull on her too hard for that, but the moment was too late.The last four days weren't easy for him, on top of that. Gwen felt too far yet too near every time she came to his office to let him sign the proposals. He wanted to say some words of reassurance or say sorry in some circumstances, but he's not even sure if he can do it or properly handle what comes with it. He's already failing at getting it together when she's around, on certain occasions.He was about to go on the deep end once again, but Adam's talkative mouth seems to be more persistent than Blake's brain at the moment."Blake?" Adam tries to wave at him to call his attention. Blake raises both his eyebrows along with a neutral face in response."What's with the argument with Gwen a while ago?" Adam's curiosity either brings something out from him or nothing.Once the silence continues for about a minute, his friend tries again. "Stubborn woman, or I sense some jealousy?"Those look like the magic words because his gaze quickly focuses on Adam and his eyes widen like he's terrified of what else Adam has prepared in his head. He's not about to admit any details yet because he doesn't want to look too transparent about his initial behavior."Shut up," Blake finally utters. He instantaneously stands up and proceeds to indulge momentarily in the office view. His heart proceeds to beat its way out of his chest since Adam's unpredictability can sometimes be daunting."How much did you see?" Blake asks after a few seconds of silence. When he looks back, Adam seems to be frozen for a bit since Blake is sure that his sudden question wasn't expected.The guy recovers faster than he can and decides to shoot back, "How much did you think I see?"Blake quickly looks to the side, not in the mood for any banters. His serious face didn't shift one bit. He wants to bounce his leg, but he is quite disappointed he's not sitting down right now. Once he looks back, Adam's knowing expression is what makes him curious."You seem to have a better sense of temper control around Gwen, or did your frustrations about the situation seemed to get the best of you?" Adam points out as his smirk forms on his face. Both? That remains to be a thought for Blake. Instead, he rolled his eyes, and Adam's chuckle is the next thing he hears."I saw you lost it for a minute. I'm not surprised she could disarm you quick enough." Blake walked to one of the shelves behind his desk as Adam began indicating his (too) straightforward observations. The moment Blake heard the last bit, he froze.He looks over his shoulder but does not gaze at Adam since he's not prepared for whatever expression his friend is currently showcasing."You know, I like Gwen," Adam continues. Blake just prays he stops talking because he seemed to have taken Kelly's place in this situation. "Aside from her being talented in this field, I think she can keep you on your toes. Not to mention, she was the only one who had the guts to face off against you a while ago." His friend was close to laughing if Blake were to analyze his tone.Blake doesn't respond to any of that, subtly huffs as his way of exhaling, and continues staring at the pictures of his family.Something in his gut wants to follow Gwen and Kelly to San Francisco, but he doesn't want to look too impulsive with that idea. He knows he can call the pilot and tell them to wait for him since he owns the plane. So he's not sure what's stopping him at the moment."I know I have no say in whatever happens here in the company. If you despise Jason, how come your colleagues can't seem to pick that up?" Adam started seriously with his remark which caught Blake's attention, then briefly chuckled at the last part. His friend is aware of some of his feelings towards the guy, and the comment doesn't surprise Blake at all, but that appears to be the final trigger for Blake to finally grab his phone and search for an important contact.
Change of plans (sort of)
Adam senses his urgency and, when Blake heard Adam's tongue clicked, he had to look up for a second. "Knew that would get you into action," Adam raises one of his eyebrows while one subtle smile was forming on his face again."Be back," Blake says as he pushes his chair towards the desk and grabs his wallet from the shelf."Keep yourself in check, will you?" He senses the underlying joke behind Adam's statement but knows the serious message he's trying to imply.Blake temporarily stops near the office door to type a quick text to the pilot while also waiting for Adam to knock some sense into him about his next move. He looks back and sees Adam leaning against his desk with another one of those knowing smirks.Blake sees him nod, and he took that as a signal to leave the office. He knew his friend wouldn't stop him, but he damn wishes himself a little good luck for how the next events of the day might unfold.-----LA traffic has always been bad, but this afternoon has put a little favor onto him. He doesn't care if they're 15-minutes delayed for the flight, but he was close to giving his driver a raise when they got to the airport.He says a quick thank you before heading off into the airport. Then, he walks to the same gate as he always does and remains kind in greeting the stewardess he encounters when he reaches the booth.Blake prepares himself for the reactions he can get as he boards the plane. The other staff greets him when he enters the cabin. Once he looks to his right, he already knew the shocked expression on their faces, especially Gwen's. Kelly immediately stands up as Blake tries to walk carefully since he's a bit tall for planes."Sir, you're coming?" Kelly's eyes remain a bit wide. It's probably because she can't believe that he's actually here."Important client. Might as well." It's all he says before going to the back to take a seat. He knows Kelly doesn't buy it, but he is glad she let it go for the time being.During the entire flight, he does nothing but keeps his eye on the girls. He sees them go back and forth on chattering about topics he couldn't hear. Blake is sitting quite far from them since he also needs a little privacy to prepare himself.Every time Gwen or Kelly would look his way, he uses his phone as a scapegoat. He also remains silent throughout the trip as he is trapped in his thoughts about what could possibly happen. He and Gwen are not on good terms, so that isn't a good note for him as well. Even if there was no confrontation or what from her when he entered the plane, he is still a little bit tense regarding everything. He was right about this being a slightly impulsive decision since he's not sure how to handle his situation with Gwen yet. He wants to ignore, but he knows in himself that he could never. When he has the time to look at her, he momentarily forgets the argument. His gaze is fixed on her side profile, and he is again reminded of how perfect she is. But stubborn as hell too. The moment he realizes he was staring too much, he quietly clears his throat and looks through his phone again. It was a bad idea since he's reminded of their agenda this afternoon.There is not one thing that he can focus on at the moment that isn't meant to send him into a pool of emotions and thoughts.He hears the pilot announce that they are about to land, and it makes him relieved that he won't have to do so much thinking for now. Once he felt that the plane is stable on the ground, Blake stands up and straightens his shirt to distract himself.Kelly tries telling him that they're there, expecting him to be asleep or something. He catches Kelly's raised eyebrows when he's already standing a few inches behind Gwen respectfully. He gestures to let them walk out of the plane first before he does.After making a call to tell their driver that they're here, they pass through the inside of the airport before heading out to the airport's actual entrance. Kelly decides to break the silence by asking about their endeavor."Is Sir Jason informed that we're a little late?" He feels Kelly's gaze on him, so he tries to focus on her without landing his sight at Gwen since his chest was pounding for some reason."Yeah," Blake drawls. He didn't mean for the accent to be more apparent. "He won't mind.""That's true," Kelly replies before looking afar to take in the city of San Francisco.Blake does the same to keep his composure. He's not surprised to see the city as busy as Los Angeles. A few memories replay in his mind, and his focus strays away for a minute until the honking of a familiar car brings him back to reality for the nth time today.Unfortunately, the silence on his end during the car ride paved time for him to remember the memories he can associate with some of the locations they passed by. As much as he despises some of them, he knows in the back of his mind that it helped him be the person he is today, even if he's not a big fan of how he turned out as a whole. Professionally, San Francisco has helped him push for certain things more than he'd like to admit.He waggles his head to try shaking everything off since he does not want to lose it in front of Kelly and Gwen. The car ride was quick enough that the driver announces that they arrived in Jason's building.They briskly pass by the reception since they know that Jason is expecting them. Thankfully, it was only the three of them inside the elevator when they got in.Blake's right foot is obnoxiously tapping against the floor as the elevator climbs. He has done everything in his power to avoid this situation, yet look at what he got himself and Gwen into. He prays he can maintain his calm and tries to keep in mind Adam's words to him before he left the office.He has no more extra time to whisper some words of wisdom to himself 'cause as the door opens, it leads straight into the client's office.The secretary quickly greets them when she swiftly stood up, then all three of them acknowledge her. Blake lets the two women walk first as they step further into the floor. There was a wide couch in the middle of the area. Blake has been here before, so he motions for them to sit while they wait.There was no need for that since Jason enthusiastically announces his presence just as Gwen was about to take a seat beside Kelly. "Good afternoon, folks! Finally, all of you are here." Blake eyes Jason since he's nearby. He was a country guy like him, so there was no shock about the similarities in outfits. Blake towers over everyone in the room, which is also not new. Both of Jason's hands were in his pockets, and he smirks as he welcomes them."It's great to see you, Mr. Rein," Kelly greets with a hug and a handshake."Kelly, Kelly," Jason annoyingly repeats with a sort of jolly tone, "It's always a pleasure to see you." Then, finally, he turns to look at Blake. And the inevitable begins. "Blake, I didn't expect you here, but when my secretary informed me, I'd figure."Blake tries to fake a smile as he engages in a handshake but not in a hug. "Still quiet, I see. Not expecting that from someone who loves music in his spare time," Jason comments. He can sense the reactions of Kelly and Gwen without even looking, especially the latter, who doesn't know a lot about him yet. He knows he has to keep it together and watches as Jason's eyes land on Gwen."Whoa. This is your new SVP?" The guy got too excited with that if you ask Blake. "Why aren't you a gorgeous woman? Hello," Jason shakes her hand and pulls her into a hug before Gwen could get a word in. Blake averts his gaze away to contain his chest that was getting out of control."It's nice to meet you, Sir Jason," Gwen politely begins the moment she's free from Jason's hug. He didn't want to see that unfold, but he remembers his promise to protect her."Oh, please. No sir sir," Jason shrugs off as he shifts to Gwen's side. Blake already expected that. He wants to get near already and shake him off of Gwen. "Jason is already good," he winks at Gwen, and Blake decides to briefly focus on gently getting the file from Kelly's grip."Don't worry, Sir Blake, I got it," Kelly manages before clearing her throat. "Here are the designs, by the way." Kelly stretches her arm out to hand over the file.Blake gestures for the women to take a seat, and he is genuinely surprised when Jason takes a seat beside Gwen when he's supposed to be sitting at the other side of the couch set."These are perfect for my penthouse," Jason comments. "Did you design these?" The guy ignores both Kelly and Blake and shifts his entire stance towards Gwen."No, I didn't," Gwen politely replies, "The designs were already done when I checked them. I just suggested a few revisions here in your display area. The credit mostly goes to the team since they did a great job." Gwen points towards the part of the design that was revised. Blake didn't take his time to see it since he remembers signing that proposal too quickly. He is sure that whatever revision it was, he knew it's good because of Gwen and the team."I think these are great. Not bad for being new at the job," Jason adds. Blake subtly exhales in an attempt to calm himself. "So can I show you guys around the area for my penthouse, it's just one staircase away over there.""Sure. Maybe we can check as well if the designs are appropriate for the space," Gwen replies as she stood up and fixed herself. Blake also follows and all efforts to control himself are suddenly needed when Jason stands too close."Come on. It's this way. You first, beautiful," Jason places his hand on her lower back and Blake notices the moment Gwen tries to ignore the gesture. He wants to catch up on them, but he knows he's being a little unreasonable at this moment. Despite him fuming, he calmly walks behind them and beside Kelly."Need a hand to climb?" Jason offers his hands out to Gwen and she quickly shakes her head."I'm all good. Thank you for offering." Blake doesn't want to sound too possessive, but he can sense the discomfort in Gwen's voice."You sure? Don't want a beautiful face like yours tripping on the stairs with those heels," Jason smirks as he follows up."I'm all good," Gwen repeats. Blake almost didn't control his scoff, but he was able to translate it to paving the way for Kelly, allowing her to climb the stairs first.When they reached the floor, they immediately notice the view. Blake can't deny that it's breathtaking. More memories resurface in his head to a familiar feeling from the past and the view in his office."The view is amazing," Kelly comments. She was immediately peeking by the windows and was cautious about leaving enough space between her and the glass."Nothing is as breathtaking as this woman right here, right Miss?" Jason looks at Gwen and winks at her. Although Blake agrees, that applies to the statement, not with the person and execution.Gwen remains silent and walks towards where Kelly is standing while examining the area. Blake looks around himself and remembers that he has a copy of the proposal.He brings out his phone and looks at the designs then the floor, back and forth. There is no denying that the design is appropriate for the place. Props to Gwen and the interior design team. "May I take a look at the designs again, Sir Jason?" Gwen decides to break the silence after checking the area out. "Just Jason, dear." He walks towards Gwen as quickly as he could and raises his eyebrows while giving her the file. As Blake watches the exchange, he's forced to look at his phone."I think the dining area can go here since there's the view of the city or do you prefer it with the ocean view?" The moment Blake hears her voice again, he looks up again to see her being in work mode. He watches from afar while Kelly observes, staying in her spot."I think the ocean view should be reserved for the bed or couch for a more romantic setup. Right?" Here we go. The flirty attempt doesn't go unnoticed by everyone else in the room. He sees the point at which Gwen ignores again and sticks to what she's meant to do here.
Do something, Blake.
"I think that'd be great. I'm sure your girl would perhaps like the setup too." Blake admires Gwen's efforts to remain professional because he wouldn't contain himself if he were put in that situation. He wants to step in for Gwen, but he also trusts her instincts when it comes to her job. He just wished so bad they don't have to be with Jason right now."Would you like that?" Blake's eyes widen at the double meaning behind Jason's statement. Suddenly, he feels his stomach turning and exhales a little too loud for his liking as a way to calm himself. He shifts his phone to his left hand and hides his tightening right fist so that no one would be able to see it from Gwen, Jason, and Kelly's point of view."I'm sorry?" Gwen inquires. He's proud of her for not falling for Jason's antics, but Blake's not trusting his temper at this very second."Nothing, beautiful," Jason playfully shoots back.Blake tries to blow a little to help ease his raging chest. He's quite sure that his knuckles are already white from being squeezed into a fist too much, but he disregards that thought and tries to take a few steps towards the three.The next encounter he sees is Gwen's back turned to Jason while she observes the designs and area at the same time. She shifts her head left and right to examine the area. She quickly brings out her phone to take a few notes. When Blake sees Jason get too close to her shoulders, he almost saw red."Is there a chance that you could squeeze in my number on your phone?" Blake looks down quickly to his phone to control his reactions. Jason is notorious for these kinds of attempts and Blake is honestly quite (very) pissed at himself for not taking any action yet."I do have a few ideas on possible revisions now that I saw the place." Gwen's voice was shaky at first, but he is amazed at how she recovers and recomposes smoothly. "We can perhaps talk about it on the phone if ever you want this revised as we go back to LA." Take that, asshole. "I don't think there's a need for that, dear." Blake, take it easy. Take it easy. He knows he's gripping his phone too hard and immediately remembers that Kelly may be nearby, so he tries one more lowkey breathing exercise for himself."Are you sure, Sir? You're happy with these designs?" As Blake looks up again, he sees Gwen take a step back while asking her question."Of course," Jason softly replies. Just as Blake was about to take a step forward out of impulse, Kelly springs into action and goes into the situation."I think we're all good here then, Sir Jason?" Kelly carefully butts in. "If you're good with the designs, we can go back down and sign them, so we can proceed to the other parts of the project." He is silently thankful that Kelly stepped in because throwing Jason out the window seems very enticing."Yeah. It's all good." The guy quickly acknowledges Kelly and looks back at Gwen. Blake sees a portion of Gwen's nervous expression and he can't stand it anymore. He decides to exhale loudly and clear his throat which caught Jason's attention. "Be downstairs for signing." That was a poor attempt of saving the situation. It didn't even come out the way he wanted it to and he swears he wants to kick himself now.Jason doesn't even look back. He just nods and offers his hand out to Gwen. Blake can't watch and rushes off to the stairs as his heart pounds.The moment he realizes he's briefly alone, he takes deep breaths as he closes his eyes. He decides to put his phone in his pocket while doing the process. Calm down, Blake. You're here for work. He takes a seat on the couch to relieve himself and sees Kelly walking side-by-side with Gwen while Jason is following behind them closely. He is more on Gwen's side and Blake definitely knows that the guy's hand is probably on Gwen's back again. The thought alone disregards all his progress from his breathing exercise."You've picked the perfect SVP, Blake. Extremely beautiful like her designs," Jason says as he reaches the coffee table."She is perfectly qualified for the job 'cause of her great technique, knowledge, and experience," Blake couldn't handle the underappreciation for Gwen's skills, so he decides to emphasize every word he says as he points it out this one time. He also notices Gwen and Kelly's startled look in his peripheral, but he doesn't acknowledge it."No need to get all tense, my man," Jason chuckles. Blake can't escape the situation despite the annoyance he feels and tries his best to control whatever expression he was emitting. "I know designing and all is not exactly your forte, but you didn't have to come, right? I'm sure Gwen and I would've had a great time."Blake thanks the heavens that his shaking fingers are in his pockets or else he would've been too obvious. He's shaking not out of nervousness, but it's because of the raging frustrations that are uncontrollably building up once again."It's good you remember her name," Blake shoots back, almost in a whisper."Sir Jason, here's the part of the proposal that you have to sign, so we can proceed," Kelly says. He understands the effort to seek damage control. Five more minutes of being in a room with this man and Blake will seriously lose it."Will I see you again, beautiful?" Jason looks towards Gwen's direction before getting the pen from Kelly.Before she can even reply. Blake intervenes. "Sign, Jason." The statement sounds a little demanding and Blake disregards Jason's snarky comment that followed regarding his words."I'm sure Gwen won't mind spending time here. Right?" Blake watches as his hand is about to land on Gwen's waist since she was nearby. He sees Gwen step back and when Jason insists and Kelly tries to butt in, Blake officially saw red."Sign, Jason," Blake repeats sternly as he stood up."Whoa," Jason chuckles. "You alright? Lay off on the testosterone." He then casually lays his arm around Gwen's shoulder. The hand in his pocket is slowly forming a fist. Then, he sees Gwen escape her way out of Jason's touch and step away further. That's when all of Blake's sense flew out of the building."Woah, dear, where you going?" Jason was facing Gwen completely and, before he can even go nearer, Blake blocks Kelly from getting nearer to the commotion, carelessly grips Jason's shoulder as he faces the guy towards him, and lands a strong punch on Jason's jaw."Blake!" He hears Gwen's scream. He also feels Kelly's hands restrain him as well in an attempt to diffuse the situation, but the desire to hit Jason was more compelling."Chill out, Blake." Jason's chuckle was even more annoying to his ears as he attempts to stand up. "It's not like I'm gonna steal your girl, you know?"That triggers a completely different memory for Blake. He didn't let him recover and punches him again, escaping Gwen and Kelly's grip altogether."Stay the hell away from Gwen," Blake ragingly spits. He towers over Jason's figure on the floor to show his dominance. The way he stares him down still can't compensate for the anger he feels in his insides.He wants to pick him up and throw him against the wall, but once he feels Gwen's touch on his arm, his attention shifts quickly."Blake," she tries again. He abruptly looks at her and sees the fear in her eyes. It hits him how he let the situation get too far. Instead, he exhales and looks back at Jason furiously.He huffs and snatches the contract off the table. "We're leaving. We don't need this clown as a client."With that, he storms off towards the staircase rather than the elevator. He doesn't have the patience to wait for the machine climb up 'cause that may push up his drive to punch Jason again.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The turn of events remains a shock to her. For one, she was surprised the moment Blake lost his cool. She can't lie that she somehow understood why Blake wanted her away from Jason as much as possible.The guy was, so to say, pushy and too flirty in work matters. It's not like she's interested in Jason; it's why she ignored all of his attempts and stayed focused on their agenda.It's what probably triggered Blake when she thinks about it. But as she remembers the one sentence that sent Blake off the deep end, that's where further confusion begins. As if this man isn't confusing enough. Ugh. She appreciates the fact that he stepped in for her when she got a little uncomfortable with Jason's actions. It's just that she wished he didn't resort to punching him.
"It's not like I'm gonna steal your girl..."
Whatever Jason meant by that, it's most likely something personal to Blake, basing on how he reacted after that statement. She doesn't how true it is, but she's not sure in what position she is to find out.Gwen snaps out of her thoughts as they keep waiting at the airport. They're supposed to fly back to LA immediately. Something isn't right, though, since they have been in the waiting area for a while.Kelly is seated beside her, eyeing the two of them, but she's mostly focused on Blake. Gwen, on the other hand, didn't know who and how to establish eye contact with.The tension was palpable enough because of the silence lying around the area. Kelly seems to have given up on both of them when she brings her full attention to her phone as she sees in her peripheral.Nerves are starting to get the best of her, but Gwen tries to shift her gaze from outside to Blake. The minute she lays her eyes on him, she doesn't miss out on his tense demeanor. He was looking to his right, aiming towards the outside part of the airport where she was just staring a few seconds ago.His facial expression is something she couldn't read, and his left knee was bouncing up and down quickly. She forgets to look away and catches his gaze on her. For a brief moment, her heart stops. She has no way of escaping this because she just sends the wrong message if she looks away. Blake doesn't move either. She swallows the lump in her throat and subtly bites her lip as compensation for her chest going override.They engage in their staring contest for what felt like so long, and Gwen can't read the emotion he portrays in his eyes. She's probably sure that she looks worried or as tense as Blake, but that only seemed to last long enough when Blake receives a phone call out of the blue.She sighs when she fails to get some answers from him and looks back outside to calm herself down. When Blake calls out for Kelly, it was the first time she's heard his voice again since the events this afternoon. It soothes her to hear it again, but she knows there is still some pending anger within just by the way it cracked at the end.It wasn't long until Kelly gently taps her shoulder, silently asking for her to stand up. She does so and follows Kelly outside the waiting area. She tries to look for Blake but failed at it after switching left and right to catch his figure."There might be some issues with our flight," Kelly finally opens. Gwen understands the timid stance and doesn't blame her for that. She was somehow stuck in the middle of it, and Gwen wouldn't mind if Kelly expresses her stress about the situation."Why? What's wrong?" She attempts not to sound scared out of her mind, not because of the flight but rather the fact things haven't been exactly okay with her and Blake since this morning. If something happens like the flight is canceled for tonight, she has to be in Blake's presence, and she is not quite ready for that.She is determined to know more about this Jason situation but not so much about facing him at this moment.Before Kelly could even express her assumptions, Blake's voice cuts through the conversation, announcing his presence behind Gwen. Great. Jinxed it. "Let's get a hotel." Blake coldly remarks. She feels his breath against the back of her head, and she almost lost control of the shivers that went down her spine."Flight is cancelled? Kelly inquires. "Bad weather?"She can't see his response since he was standing behind her, but she felt the moment he walks further away from her. It was finally safe for her to turn around, and she looks to Kelly, silently asking about Blake's answer to her query."We got a rainy night ahead of us. It probably explains why our flight is canceled for tonight," Kelly fills her in. She is utterly grateful for the details and exhibits a smile as a way to express it. Words seemed to fail Gwen in the very moment, so she wouldn't risk it.The next thing she knows, they're back at the limo. Gwen isn't sure where they're going and was dazed to see them stop at a shopping mall. She gives Kelly a confused look and remains clueless as they follow Blake out of the limo after muttering something to the driver. As the limo travels out of their sight, they start to follow Blake inside and keep a respectable distance to avoid bumping into him. Gwen has had her fair share of that, and she can't handle it if it happens today.Her eyes widened when they stopped in front of a department store. She is still not sure where this is going. When Blake hands over a card to Kelly, he walks away. Her eyes never leave him until he walks into a coffee shop."Let's go, Gwen," Kelly says. "What's going on?" She halted their tracks when they entered the store. As Kelly looks back, her small grin confuses her more. She just wants to scream her confusion out of her head then Kelly beats her to it."We're going to get some clothes to help us get by through the night," Kelly answers, her grin getting a little bigger."What?" She was dumbfounded by what she just found out. She didn't expect this gesture at all."It's probably his way of making it up to you," Kelly briefly chuckles. Gwen rolls her eyes at that and changes her mood quickly to along the lines of nervous and conscious."We don't have to spend under his card. I think that's too much," she tries to get her way out of this because she does feel a little embarrassed."He will insist even if he won't say it," Kelly nudges behind her right arm to get her to walk further in the department store."Does he do this a lot?" She shouldn't have asked that question because she won't be prepared for whatever answer Kelly has in store, especially on one end of the spectrum."I want to say yes, but I can't lie to you," Kelly says as a matter of factly. She freezes the moment she's heard it, and she's not sure if she should continue walking in fear of losing balance. "He never did this for any of us when these things happen before. It's why I'm really positive it's a subtle way to do something for you."The fact that Kelly elaborates on her point almost had Gwen's mind spinning. She wishes she wouldn't be caught off guard by these acts quickly. She is never after someone's success or wealth. That's the last thing she wants to exude to Kelly."Can't we just-" She stutters in the middle of it and tries to gesture for them to use their own money."He would never mind. I assure you," Kelly politely disregards whatever worry she implied with her previous attempt. "Make sure to get everything you need, okay?""If we're gonna buy clothes for the night, we should get him something too." She thinks the proposition is just since she's not about to make this only about them. Someone has to look out for Blake too, right?
As much as I have mixed feelings about this man, I could not help but have a little bit of care on my end. Damn it, Gwen.
"That won't be necessary though," Kelly can't decide if she wants to sound panicky or shocked, so her tone is a mixture of both. "Kelly, it's the least we could do." She has made her decision and frankly doesn't care if she sounds too stubborn with it. "Do you happen to know his size?" She asks next.-----Shopping for clothes took away some of her worries easily. It's one of the things she loved to do the most since she is quite obsessed with the idea of fashion and dressing up. She has already chosen her clothes, but because of the uncertainty about Blake's shirt size, she couldn't make a final decision on what to buy for him which led them to take a little while longer.Among the clothing she has for him, there are denim jeans and a blue and orange checkered shirt. She thinks it will look cute on him, and the style is still very much Blake, so that's what she ends up picking for his clothes tomorrow morning. He can just go home to change for work. I don't want him uncomfy on tomorrow's flight. At the same time, she's holding a pair of shorts and a different shirt for him to wear to bed tonight. Although boys can wear their boxers when they sleep, she doesn't want to assume anything for Blake, which is why she still ended up picking something from him."Kelly, are you sure he's extra-large?" She eyes the two sizes one more time. "I don't think he's that big. Maybe large is fine?""He likes his shirts loose since that's what I notice on several occasions," Kelly says like it's not a big deal."A man like him wears loose shirts? Puh-lease." She didn't mean for that to slip, and when she realized that it was mentioned out loud, her eyes widened as she stopped speaking for a moment.She hears Kelly giggle behind her and some footsteps of someone else."You two alright?" The drawl will always be familiar to her. She turns around and momentarily loses her nerves around Blake since her main focus is fitting his clothes."Perfect. You're here. Can you try these on? We don't know your exact size." Gwen hands over the shirts for him and quickly points to the fitting room nearby."No need," he gives them back to her and briskly shakes his head. She is not about to deal with his stubbornness too, so she pushes."Nuh uh," she wags her finger and pushes his arm where the clothes are hanging back to him. "You try those on and buy them, or we're not buying these too."She gestures towards her and Kelly's clothing in the basket and places her hands on her hips right after as she looks at him. He seems like he wanted to say something but immediately closes his mouth and walked to the fitting room."Well, that was quick," Kelly chuckles, and Gwen's gaze is instantly on her."I was serious when I said we also have to get him something. He's not about to sleep in a robe and feel cold." Her mouth definitely had a mind of its own because the latter was supposed to stay in her brain; then again, it's already out."I like how he just followed you and didn't protest any longer." She is grateful that Kelly switched to another topic and pretended not to notice some of her earlier words. She exhales in relief eventually.Right at that moment, Blake comes out of the fitting room having the shirts organized on his arms. He gives her the shirts on his left arm, and once she checks the size, she is happy he picked the large ones over the extra-large.She quickly disregards the temporary panic that formed in her head whether he heard her comment a while ago or not because he was already giving way for us to walk towards the cashier."Nope, we're not finished yet." She almost laughed when she saw his eyes widen but recovered quickly. "We're not sure of your pants and shorts size, so try them on too."He doesn't move immediately, so she waits. She catches the second where he wants to protest. It seems like he chose not to since he proceeded to grab the pairs of pants and shorts from her hands and went back into the fitting room."We definitely need you around, Gwen," Kelly comments as she approached her and whispered. "I've never seen Sir Blake listen this quick."She looks to her side ever so quickly and is shocked at Kelly's input. She doesn't know if she should take that entirely seriously. Blake could just be tired for all she knows. She didn't have enough time to shoot back at Kelly because the fitting room door opened again.Blake did the same for handing over the shorts and pants that fitted him. She offered him a smile and was almost startled when Blake goes ahead and grabs the basket before letting them lead the way to the cashier. She smiles at him to show her appreciation before walking.The cashier didn't take long to scan the clothes and swipe the card. It was quiet the entire time, but she was also surprised at how Blake initiated to carry their shopping bags. This wasn't supposed to be new for her, but she has been independent about this for years, so the gesture really catches her off guard.Even if the car ride was uneventful, there's a part of Blake that remained a little tense for her liking. She knows it's lesser now compared to a while ago, but she wants to ask him so bad about what's bothering him. Despite all of those running in her head, she stays silent."I got it," she clutches the paper bag with her clothes faster than Blake could and offers him a smile to let him know that it's okay.It wasn't long until Blake checked them in. She and Kelly didn't mind sharing a suite while Blake had his own room as a respect for the girls' privacy.After removing her heels and settling them by the couch where the shopping bags are, her curiosity fills her mind again."Kelly?" She carefully calls out to check first if she was busy doing something."Yeah?" Kelly emerges from the bedroom, probably after checking out its space."Why is Blake that furious with Jason?" Gwen wishes she thought of her choice of words before speaking them out. Kelly doesn't seem to mind but is also struggling with what to say and how to say it."I-I'm sorry. I think I overstepped," she stammers when the silence was killing her inside."Hey, it's okay," Kelly reassures quickly. "I don't know much, to be honest. But I do know that Jason is married to Blake's first girlfriend, Kaynette."It hits Gwen quickly on what Jason meant by stealing Blake's girl. She doesn't want to assume, though, even if it came from the man himself. "Blake previously lived here in San Francisco when he was with Kaynette. I'm not entirely sure about the rest. All I know is that he didn't find success here, so it's why he moved to LA. I'm not sure if that success part also includes love life." Kelly didn't seem to stop at her initial answer and proceeded to give more details that she was certain of.It was a lot to take in for Gwen, but she listens carefully since this is also the most she's got about Blake. She knows it's quite rude to ask this personal stuff from others instead of waiting for him to spill, but she doesn't think Blake is ready for that step with her.She'll take what she can get, though, if this means that it could answer a few questions. She is 100% sure that there is more to it, but she's glad she's at the tip of the iceberg for now. She can settle for that."Why does he still accept him as a client then?" Moving the topic to work may not be dangerous, so she heads for that route."Sir Luke insists since he pays well." Gwen understands that part since you're not supposed to let your personal matters interfere with work. "Actually-"When Kelly was cut off, her attention was all set on her while Kelly's gaze was at the door. She realizes that someone must have knocked. She looks over her shoulder to see who it is."Y'all good?" She hears Blake's twang as half of his body is shielded by the door."Yeah, we're good, Sir Blake. How 'bout you?" Kelly raps right before her phone rang. "Um, I'll just take this call. It's my boyfriend. He's probably looking for me."With that, Kelly rushes out to the hallway, leaving the door wide open. Blake remains standing in the archway, and she has no choice but to establish eye contact with him.They're not saying anything to each other, but the expression in his eyes definitely looks like he is asking for something. It takes her a while, but when she examines his stance, she instantaneously figures that maybe he doesn't want to leave yet, so she gambles with faith by saying something."You can come in." Her tone remains gentle, and she notices his brief look of relief before walking in and closing the door.Silence emerges once again. Their distance is respectable, and no one dares to make a move. Blake is looking at the ground while she was looking at him. She tries to patiently wait for whatever he has to say, if there is. It's just right about the next second where the day's events popped from her memory again."I'm sorry." It's all he says. She's not sure if it's about their small argument during the morning or for how he acted in the afternoon. Either way, she has a little understanding of why he reacted that way."It's okay. I understand why you were frustrated about me coming here," she expresses. The way Blake abruptly sets his gaze on her was something she half expects. It feels like he was looking for an explanation, so it gave her the strength to continue. "I'm sorry," she stutters. Great. "I asked Kelly about some of it a while ago. I promise she didn't say much."She had to focus on the fact that she asked since she doesn't want Blake to be mad at Kelly. It's the least she could do. He doesn't seem too fazed by it. His face looked a little bit worried, which confused her, but he decides for a more neutral, "S'okay."He placed his hands in the respective pocket of his pants. His right foot was bouncing up and down, and she was almost taken off guard by his next question. "Are you okay?"Of everything she expects him to ask, it wasn't exactly this. She is quite lost about what he's pertaining to, so she just goes for the honest route. "Yeah." Now, she wants to punch herself because it sounded shaky that it probably wasn't convincing on his end.He doesn't point it out, so she thanks the heavens. "Jason was disrespectful." If Blake aimed for that to be a mumble, it was definitely loud enough for her to hear it."I appreciate that you tried to protect me, Blake." She pauses trying to dissect her next set of words before saying anything else. His effort doesn't go unnoticed, so she wants to credit that first."He was disrespectful," Blake repeats sounding more pissed. She is aware that it wasn't directed towards her and she hopes to help him keep his cool."I know," she acknowledges. Blake huffs as he was looking at her again and she is utterly surprised to see a hint of fear in his eyes. She deeply wants to ask about it, but she doesn't push for that matter."But you didn't have to punch him," she carefully treads after a few seconds of silence."He deserved it," Blake spits, a little more pissed than his previous remarks. She thinks fast about what she could do. Out of impulse, she approaches him and carefully grips his arm like she did when he was all buffed up and ready to fight a while ago."He's not here anymore. Blake, please calm down. You're scaring me. Don't hurt your fist from balling it too hard." She notices that as well when she approached him. She didn't mean to sound too worried or desperate in that matter, but it sort of worked because Blake's shoulders relaxed for a bit and she hears an exhale coming from him.It didn't take her a while to realize that their bodies were quite close to each other. She doesn't want it to bother her too much, but her chest says otherwise. She looks up at him, a little nervous about what she could see in his eyes, so she looks at the space between them instead."I'm sorry," Blake says next. She feels him look down because she can notice the movement of his head. She didn't get it a first, but she assumes that it could be a response to her plea a few seconds back.He doesn't retract his arm from her touch and sees in her peripheral his back and forth attempts of moving his other arm closer to her. She doesn't call him out on that though and tries to catch his gaze instead."How much did-" He begins to say after a few minutes of standing there. He averts his eyes away from her when he stops mid-sentence. She tries to wait it out, but nothing followed. Her curiosity did nothing but shoot through the roof. "Blake?" She tries to draw him back to reality when it looks like he went off the deep end. Her tone wasn't demanding for him to continue. It was more of asking if he's fine, but she didn't really ask the exact words."I-" He stutters until he goes silent again. Once she sees him look back at her, there was a lot of fear in his eyes that he probably couldn't control. She has no idea about what's running in his head. Although she probably won't get an answer about what it is, she is determined to be there for him. She doesn't know the extent of how this day could be too much on his end, like how much is he holding off."I'm here," she tries. A sympathetic smile is what graces her features next. She observes how his eyes widen, most likely not expecting that to come out of her. Despite her brain shouting at her to ask questions, she goes for being more patient with him. Gwen also felt his arm shaking a little bit. She doesn't have to look at it to rub it with such gentleness and the shaking seemed to stop from his arm."I-I can't," he mixes up a few more words until she sees the moment he raises his defenses. Her heart almost broke the moment he did that. What surprises her is that he couldn't step away from her. She wants to move too, but her feet were pinned to the ground. She was probably staring at him with a sad expression on her face. She is striving to understand his sudden change but ends up blank after a few minutes. Blake couldn't remove his gaze from her and feels his deep breath on the lower portion of her forehead. The shivers that went down her spine were something she couldn't control. She wants to try again, to let him know he's safe with her."Gwen?" Kelly says as she heard the door creak open.It brings them back to reality and Blake quickly draws his arm away from her touch. She instantly misses it, but she has to push it aside for a moment. "Oh I'm sorry," Kelly is a little frightened at what she could've done. "Did I interrupt anything?""None," Blake answers coldly before Gwen could get a word in. The brief answer has heart pounding uncontrollably."Good night." He follows while looking over his shoulder and briefly at her before he makes his way out of the room as swiftly as he could.Gwen blinks repeatedly in disbelief about what just happened. She brings her attention to the hand that was touching Blake's arm a while back and stares at it. Kelly decides to slice the tension in the room carefully."Is everything alright, Gwen?" The moment she hears it, she abruptly establishes brief eye contact with Kelly before sighing in defeat and running to the bathroom.She hopes the shower could help ease her entire being and put a temporary stop to the thoughts rushing in her brain. This day was indeed a rollercoaster and she's not entirely sure how things could go on from here.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Tossing and turning had never been this worse for him.He can come up with all of the excuses in the world as to why he has to beat himself up for the way he acted.Don't get him wrong; he doesn't regret punching Jason, though. I should've done that the moment he chose to sit beside Gwen yesterday. He just refuses to welcome whatever reason for him to let his guard down easily around Gwen. What happened to trying to keep some distance to protect her from him, to settling with admiring her from afar? Dear Lord.. Okay, Blake may have exaggerated the tossing and turning. But he did get some sleep. The keyword is some. 4 hours max is his definition of some. But the point is, he has to control himself better around Gwen. He thought keeping her at bay would work. The moment he is with her (alone), that's when things get out of hand for him.He didn't do much last night, but that's exactly the war going on in his brain. He wants to give her more. He believes he can't. He disregards and tries. He realizes and figures she deserves more than what he can give. And the cycle repeats.
Just God freaking dammit.
Wearing his emotions on his sleeve never worked out for him for most of his life. It's either slapped to his face that he is never enough or he's constantly reminded that it makes him look weak.Blake shouldn't have let himself fall to that bait, but it happened too often for him that everything just ended up badly, so his first action is to shut down. Unfortunately, the turn of events from the meeting with Jason yesterday already proved his point that the moment he chooses to show how he feels, someone will always get hurt.He wasn't pertaining to Jason. Instead, it was Gwen's frightened and worried tone that kept him from going all the way with Jason and almost took down his walls when he approached her last night to see if she was okay.That was the only intention, yet his mind (and heart, but he isn't ready to actually admit that) decided to rebel against his simple plan.Her touch shouldn't be as calming as his mind would like to portray, especially when he remembers each time he reacted. Okay. Shit. I have to stop. He abruptly sits up and runs his hands through his hair to try and shake it off. He takes his time in doing deep breaths to slowly ease his mind out of the state he put himself in.Knowing that sitting on the hotel bed will do more harm than good because of the comfort that reminds him of his first night with Gwen, he stands up. His legs aren't wobbly since he has been awake for hours. One glance at the clock, 8am. It's a decent time since their flight back to L.A. would be at 1 pm.There was a full-body mirror in front of him; he had no option but to look at himself. His hair was disheveled, but the one that kept his attention was the shirt and shorts that Gwen picked out for him.It'll probably become his lowkey favorite in the near future, but he is not about to say that out loud and goes for keeping it in his subconscious instead.He won't deny that the clothes are comfy. He lets himself portray a small smile on his face and smoothes his hand over the shirt before heading into the bathroom to get ready.After eating breakfast from room service, he becomes rather impatient sitting on the couch. Blake is not sure where he is staring at, but his mind goes to the thought of whether Gwen had eaten breakfast already.Dropping by her and Kelly's room shouldn't be an option. He could come up with an excuse like he just wants to check on her and voice out his previous thought.Blake keeps himself seated even if his right fingers are shaking as they lie on his thigh. I'm not going to go there. He repeats the sentence to himself and looks around the room to distract his mind on thinking about something else. "Fuck it." That is certainly a whisper to himself before he scoffs. It's a risk; he is 100% aware of that. But the moment he walks towards his hotel door, the war continues in his head even if most of his sense already went out the window.Gwen and Kelly's suite is just a few steps from his, so he doesn't have enough time to brace himself. He also doesn't know how long he was standing there before he had the courage to knock.About a few seconds after knocking, he hears the locks click away, and his level of nerves rises a little. What he is not prepared for is the sight that will greet him on the other side.Gwen was wearing a white tank top that had a print in front and skinny jeans. Her hair was up in a bun, and he assumes that she hasn't worn any makeup since he didn't see her lips in red like she normally does.She looked simple, and he swears that it is the best he's seen of her. All greeting formalities were suddenly forgotten as his gaze was locked on hers. If he could get a dictionary right now and find all the adjectives to describe how beautiful she is, he would read every word out loud to her. Call it cheesy. He doesn't give a damn."Blake?" Her sultry voice brings him back to reality after a while. The tone was so soft that he wanted to pull her into a hug and apologize for his coldness last night. But no, he stands still with his heart beating too fast, and he couldn't control it."Sorry," he almost murmurs. He wants to say more, but he hinders himself. The sorry was indefinite, although he's sure Gwen probably thinks that it was about his 'space out' a few seconds back."It's okay," Gwen replies after letting the silence drag for a respectable length of time. "Are you going to come in? Kelly went down to the lobby to buy some bread. There wasn't anything available from room service."He's not gonna lie that he is grateful that Kelly isn't there. It makes things easier for him and doesn't give her any more room to tease him about Gwen. He is also grateful that she informed that without him asking.Her latest statement makes him think that she probably already ate breakfast. As an acknowledgement to her question, he nods, and she makes way for him to get in. It was that easy. He wishes he was as well.Somewhere deep down his mind, it was most likely screaming at him to leave the suite, but he ignores it. He ends up standing still in the middle of the room and hears Gwen carefully close the door shut. He looks over his shoulder before completely facing her way, only to find Gwen leaning against the door. Their distance from each other is quite far, but he is confident he would hear her if ever she says something.Blake didn't know where the sudden and short confidence came from, but he catches Gwen's attention as he clears his throat. When they establish eye contact, he momentarily gets nervous but tries to muster all of the courage to ask one simple question, his reason for visiting her here."You've eaten?" That was... okay? He has no time to beat himself up about it because she nodded quickly and had a small smile plastered on her face. It immediately faded though, so his heart starts pounding more. "Are you okay?" She pushes herself up from the door as she genuinely asked the question. The expression in her eyes matches her voice, and he finds it soothing more than nerve-racking. He was taken by surprise since he was more of expecting a confrontation from her. Or, he's probably overthinking that little bit, and he just looks like crap due to his lack of sleep.She doesn't have to care, but that small gesture tugs the right places in his heart. He barely remembers how that felt, which is why he can't figure out how to respond to that normally.The atmosphere stays slightly tense on his end and quiet as he only looks down while playing with his boot by bouncing the tip on the floor as an avenue for release. His chest is pounding for a different reason now, and he is too scared to take time and admit that.It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice if she went nearer to him because the second he inhaled, he caught her sweet vanilla scent. He had to swallow at that because it's definitely something he associated with Gwen in one of his deep thinking moments.That put him out of focus temporarily. It had to be Gwen's call out that brought him back to reality. "Blake?" Gentle and sweet. On instinct, he looks at her and realizes she was a little close, but it didn't matter for him. He forgot that with his recent stunt, she could possibly see his eyebags. It was a wrong move for him. He wants to excuse himself, yet her curious expression made him reconsider."Did you rest?" Guilt. He's not sure why she sounded like that. Suddenly, he was clueless. Blake didn't even think for one second to blame Gwen herself for all the tossing and turning he engaged in last night. If there is anything to blame, it's his damn brain that doesn't dare to stop thinking about the blonde standing in front of him and everything else with it or even give him a break, for that matter.Perhaps he is too transparent about some of his thoughts right now that it pushed Gwen to elaborate. "I was the reason you had to punch Jason and get all worked up. I'm sorry if you didn't feel at ease enough to take a good rest." No. No. No. He so badly wishes he could have a chat with whoever instilled this kind of thought process in her. He was responsible for all of his actions yesterday. It's his fault he couldn't contain his indifferent feelings towards Jason.He feels his insides shatter at Gwen's statement. For all he knows, she might have stayed up all night thinking about that too. Though she looks divine given that she could've lacked sleep, the point is that she shouldn't have to feel guilty for his irresponsibility, immaturity, and overthinking tendencies.This is why he wants to protect her from him as well. He is already failing at that task because he most likely made Gwen worry. The moment he remembers her grip on him yesterday afternoon and last night in an effort to calm him down, it got him to spring into action.He closes their distance, and each of his hands went to her arms respectively. Blake didn't mean to do that, but he doesn't regret touching her in some kind of way, even if the sensations he felt overwhelm him."Gwen, don't-" He stops mid-sentence when she looks up to meet his gaze again. He realizes that it was the first time in a while that his voice sounded delicate. The nerves briefly resurfaced, and his eyes widen for a bit as he froze.Blake doesn't know where the panic in his mind started, but there was some sort of magic on Gwen's end that it vanished when his left hand was low enough for her fingers to get a tender grip of his palm.He looks down to see where their hands are kind of joined and lets his eyes linger long enough to memorize the shape of Gwen's little hand and the feeling of it being in contact with his large one.A deep exhale comes out of him in the next second. They were so still, yet Blake can feel his insides going wild. He isn't prepared but shifts his gaze to Gwen, seeing the gentleness and innocence in her eyes that he loves so much about her. Look away, Blake. But he doesn't. There is something at the tip of his tongue that can change the game for this moment. He senses her hesitation, and he can't blame her. No matter how much he fights whatever his heart tells him to do, he can never help himself at the end of the day.Is he ready to face it? He can't answer that, more like he doesn't want to. Yet, it is what he is leaning towards to.That's when it hit him; he wants to be everything for her. The thing is, he is terrified that she won't let him, or he's too incapable of that. Picture this. He promises to himself to protect her, but look at what he is doing. He is driving her closer, literally and figuratively.He thought he could make sense of himself, but that's not exactly how it's turning out right now.His subconscious probably engulfed Gwen's hand because the coldness from it is the only thing that reminds him that this scene is real and his thoughts are parading so much out of it.He was about to pull her even closer when they heard a knock from the door, and it startles them out of their bubble. She didn't dare to move, and as much as it pains him, he lets her go."Room service." The lady-like voice on the other end announces as he rushes to the door and opens it swiftly. "Oh. Hello, sir. Here are the clean clothes as requested. May I ask for the towels used so that I can get them to the laundry?"Blake nods and carefully gets them from the hotel staff. Like he's the owner of the suite, he briskly moves to the bedroom to put the clothes on the bed and walks to the bathroom to get all the towels he saw. He needs the distraction to help himself regroup."Here. Thank you," he says while handing over the pile to the staff. The girl bows a little to express her thanks and was out of his sight in a split second.Realizing that the temporary interruption was done, he almost closes the door while turning his head to look at Gwen. She wears a somewhat hopeful expression, and that's when he realizes that he crossed a barrier he didn't expect to do so suddenly. "Sorry." He stutters and looks down. Even if it pains every fibre of his being, he runs out of the suite after landing his gaze on her confused one.-----His grip on his thigh was too tight as he observes the slow-moving planes outside the window. He didn't mean to leave her like that, but he caged again. At this point, he's not sure how far his resolve can take him.The unpredictability of some of his actions are hurting Gwen. He knows it. He feels a tear pooling in his eye, but he madly wipes it before it escapes. This is why you're such a failure at that department, Blake. He doesn't know how the next weeks will look like with her because when he received an email about their upcoming projects an hour ago, he has to work closely with Gwen in 90% of them.Staying away from her is already hard. Keeping himself in check around her is a whole other level that keeps him on his toes about what he could possibly do and pushes him to his limits more often than the last few years of hiding.Like the delinquent person he is when it comes to his own rules, his eyes travel around the area and she is nowhere to be found. To make matters even harder for himself, he stands up and doesn't exactly determine where he's going. He might be walking in circles, but at that point, he doesn't care on his end.He reaches another waiting area where there weren't many people. When he was about to give up, he sees Gwen's figure by the window that acted as the wall for them to see the outside.He is certain he shouldn't be doing this, but he also doesn't want to waste this opportunity to try and fix things with Gwen.Courage is the only thing that pushed him to walk forward. He opted to stand a few meters behind her, afraid she might run away if he goes beside Gwen.Any conversation starter seemed off in his head. He either speaks up now or scares the crap out of her once she turns around."Gwen," he stutters but disregards the thoughts that followed immediately. She turns abruptly and the emotions he's met was something he expected but is nervous about at the same time. Sadness and Anger. He read it like a book and both of them stayed still. All of his plans escaped his head the moment he saw her eyes and he's not sure if he can recover from that in the nick of time.Without replying anything to his call-out, she walks out of his sight and further away from him. He decides to follow and catch up with her. Thank the heavens he has long legs which made it easier to him to take larger strides than walking fast like Gwen."Gwen," he tries again. There was a pleading factor to his voice and she just stopped. He almost bumped into her, but he spared them both the possible accident because he reacted quickly.He attempts to get a hold of her arm but she faces him before he could beat her to it. "What do you want?" She spits. Her voice wasn't loud, but he is quite uncomfortable with the idea of other people seeing their commotion, his fragile and poor expression of vulnerability.Blake freezes at the thought and looks down. As if Gwen read his mind, he felt her cold hands drag him to a bathroom nearby. When the door was slammed shut, his mind goes blank as the realization hits him."No one will see us or disrupt this conversation." She was still angry basing on the tone but was wary of ensuring that her voice won't be too loud since it can echo in the bathroom. "What do you want?" She emphasizes, and he can see her crossing her arms in his peripheral.His heart starts pounding and the toes inside his boots were restless as he tries not to move anything with his upper body since she will see it. He tries to contain all other possible reactions and sets his mind on answering her question.He attempts to look up but is also terrified for whatever expression he encounters, so his gaze ends up on the spot between her nose and lips.Then, there was silence. He can hear his own breathing due to that and looks down once again while trying to organize his thoughts.The words are the tip of his tongue. He wants to make things right, apologize to her, hug her, tell her he appreciates her attentiveness and patience, and express his apologies about how he's making things hard on her. Though, he is not sure if she will accept that.Most people in his life didn't. When he lets his emotions get the best of him, he ends up in these kinds of situations where he feels like running away would be easier but wanting to stay to try and believe that Gwen could understand whatever explanation he gives.He just has to open himself; it's that simple. But that's the thing. He couldn't remember the last time he did this. He establishes eye contact by lifting his head up and he is met with Gwen's neutral face.She is still the most beautiful girl despite that. Her stance remains strong as she looks like she is standing her ground. He doesn't know what his expression looks like and wants to take a step closer despite his raging heartbeat.That is exactly what he does next because he doesn't know how to properly organize the thoughts in his head as it goes back to making up explanations and being distracted by her presence that is so close to him.He can feel his bottom lip shaking, and the moment he casts his gaze down on her lips, it's when he loses his remaining control and all rational reasoning was thrown down the gutter.The way he grabs her sides was a bit frantic and so was his action of crashing his lips against hers, but the moment he feels them against his, he relaxes. It's like those dreams and possibilities that come and go in his head were brought to real life at this moment, except this was even better than he could ever explain.His arms had a mind of their own as it went around her, pushing her close to him and engulfing her in his warmth. He is about to be afraid of what transpired but as soon as she kissed him back with the same passion and intensity, he almost bit her lip when he returns it again.He explores everything he could touch from pushing his tongue against her lips as a way of asking permission from her to roaming his hands around her back. He tries to embed this moment of having her extremely close to him in his memory.Blake wasn't even bothered when his back collided with the wall because he was so focused on kissing the life out of Gwen that he couldn't get enough. He wanted more and she gave him exactly that. His heart throbs when he felt her arms circle his neck. He deepens the kiss and he could never regret the second he does that. Every kiss she gives, it's like she's also slowly disarming him. The realization hit him hard that he knows he has to stop, but he couldn't get himself to. He tries to push her upwards so he could get better access to her lips and feel her up more as well. The feeling of not wanting this to end weighs heavier, so he nibbles on her lips when they both try to catch their breath. He lets his forehead lean against her as he draws out a little loud exhale. He kept his eyes closed, savoring the moment.The nerves come back when he thinks that the confrontation is coming up, but when Gwen kisses him again gently and delicately, he can't help but do the same with his lips and hands. His arm stretches around her back. His hand is rubbing the side it ends up on while the other one lands on her hips. He keeps his grip firm but not hard so that he won't hurt her.During the second time around, they took it slow. He takes his time giving her each kiss. One long press after the other, he brushes his nose against hers once he stops briefly before giving her another one. He feels her nails scratch his back and he automatically hisses because he likes that so much.As if he's going to lose her, he pulls her into a hug while giving her one more long and deep kiss. He lingered there for a few seconds to nibble on hers before they pull away with a loud pop.Gwen was catching her breath while his chest was heaving; both were pretty stunned at what just happened. He sees the moment Gwen touches her lips with one of her hands as it drew away from his back.Blake instantly misses her touch, but he knows that they can't keep kissing to avoid the supposed conversation about his actions for the past two days and this morning.He wants to kiss her again and his eyes widen at the fact that he knows he can't control himself if he stays in this bathroom any longer. He needs to get it together if he wants to make things right.Before Gwen could even say anything, he bolts out of the bathroom. Aching to let go of Gwen's touch and closeness that was beginning to drive him crazy and making him obsessed the moment he had a chance to experience how that would feel like.The way he relaxed the moment they kissed and how he lost track of time during that moment don't go unnoticed. He's afraid of the feelings she unlocked so effortlessly. He feels agitated about the fact that how a perfect woman like her can deal with a guy like him who has a lot of baggage and hard to handle.His heart breaks at the realization that he can't be enough for her if he is only like this. The achievements and status he has don't matter when he's a shitty guy who bolts out of situations like a while ago, instead of being a man enough to face it."Blake?" He hears her voice again and stops in his tracks, knees shaking and fingers restless while he's at it. He looks over his shoulder and completely freezes the moment he sees a tear making its way down her cheek."Why did you-" Her voice cracks which made her stop. He had to close his eyes because he couldn't handle it and he feels his heart sink; his words are at the tip of his tongue once again."I'm sorry." It was barely a whisper. I'm sorry for hurting you, for crossing boundaries I promised to myself that I wouldn't, for pushing you further away after pulling you in. are what he doesn't say.He feels like he needs to do it out of respect, so he faces her but keeps his gaze down. All he has to do was say the words, but the underlying insecurities strain his throat from actually letting it out."Do you regret it?" She boldly asks despite the crack at probably her least favorite word in the sentence.His glance shoots up while his eyes sort of widened. Never. He swallows to try and lessen the tension in his throat. Suddenly, the panic rises in his head as that would elicit a different meaning. "You regret it," she points out. It was as if reality hits her like a truck which was his exact fear. "I don't." he replies quickly. He is sure it sounded firm even if there was a pinch of shakiness. His bottom lip trembles and he wants so bad to voice out what he wants. He needs a little time to collect himself, so he can do better for her. "I need-" he pauses, scared of himself for failing to say the right words. "Time? Space?" "Yes," he answers quickly almost missing that she said the latter. When it registers, he wants to punch himself badly. "Okay," she says, defeated. He panics because he knew he made things a little (even) worse. Before he could try to do something to fix his reckless moves, Gwen quickly walked out of his sight. And he's left standing there frozen, plus aching and defeated like her.
What a fuck up, Blake.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
She is not sure which one hurts more, seeing how he puts his walls up again or having her hopes rise the moment he shows a sign of opening up to her when it was only momentarily.Both situations had her heart shatter in more ways than one, that's for sure. That trip to San Francisco had been a rollercoaster of emotions for her. It started with their client being complacent with overstepping on her personal space to Blake being confusing as hell.The ride surely sent her head spinning and thinking more than it already does, especially the latter.
What did I get myself into?
At first, she felt guilty about him not getting enough rest because she saw in his face how tired he looked. Gwen was also surprised that he dropped by her room in the morning, after he just up and left the room when Kelly knocked out of the blue.When he left the suite that night, she was trying to let herself settle with the fact that maybe there would be boundaries between them. She wanted to be a friend that he could trust instead.All that went out the window the moment he kissed her. She is not about to lie that she has those times where she closed her eyes and reminisced everything about that moment. She felt like she was wanted and taken care of, especially with how he held her and how gentle he was when it came to their second kiss. She just didn't have that kind of exchange before where the guy gets what he wants but doesn't disregard her needs. Being mad at him seemed like an easier road when he was insisting on talking to her. Except, the moment their lips made contact, all rational thoughts left her head.She felt so much in that moment that she didn't want to let go. She is not about to straight up admit those exact feelings. She feels like she isn't ready for that. With where they are at now, it only solidifies her reasons. They were in that bubble for a while, and she should've braced herself for the imminent pattern.Gwen didn't know where they'd go from that moment, but it became clear to her that Blake put his guard up again when he couldn't answer her question straight on. So, she concluded that he regretted it.The latest thought had her chest tightening because everything from the kiss was all cupcakes and rainbows until Blake decided to bolt out of the bathroom.She has so many questions apart from that torment she feels when she recalls how things ended. Despite being on the receiving end of Kelly and Alicia's worry for Blake, she can't get herself to ask why. Better yet, she couldn't understand why he is like that.A short 'ding' from her phone brings her back to the present. It has been two weeks since the San Francisco trip, and she wants to mentally kick herself for not letting it go that easily. She knows she can survive without him. She's not about to pack up and go home here in California only to have another man break her heart.She's supposed to have enough of that, but she remains curious as hell. Ugh. Fuck. Why? Okay. No. She has to make sense of herself. She looks around the office. Once she knows that the coast is clear, she shakes her head as if it could shake those thoughts and curiosity out too. Gwen is aware that in a lot of projects, she will work closely with Blake. She has to find a way to practice how she could manage herself around him. All is peaceful and well if she can do that properly.If he doesn't want to appreciate her company, then fine. She tries to embed in her head that you can't find a man whose only goal is to hide. She knows she won't forget about that kiss easily, but she will take it one step at a time.She decides to entertain the notification on her phone since she is done with work for the day. She was in the middle of fixing her things when Blake rushed into her thoughts again.
Okay, I have to stop. Try to think less Blake, from now on. For the love of God.
"Hey Gwen," she hears Kelly's voice. "Are you busy?""Nope. I'm just getting ready to leave since I finished up a few stuff a while ago," she exhibits a warm smile as she faces Kelly. When she's met with the girl's expression, she almost mirrored the worry on Kelly’s face."I wanted to talk to you about Blake." Shit. She nods and moves her office chair so that Kelly is shielded by her cubicle."Is everything okay with work?" Deciding that was the safer route, she goes for that. Gwen is not even sure what and how much Kelly knows which makes her nervous."Yeah. He's signing," Kelly's voice dropped to a murmur as her expression went neutral. "I just," she pauses, scratching her chin. "I think that San Francisco trip did more bad than good."That is when her nerves started to rise. She keeps the dumbfounded stance until Kelly decides to drop the ball any minute from now. "What do you mean?" She does everything she can for it not to sound shaky. She prays for the next seconds of silence while Kelly seems to be organizing her thoughts."The Jason thing didn't help him because now he is just more tense if not similar to how he was a year ago. I mean that was kind of a different case, but it's just-" Kelly is already babbling and Gwen is just more confused than ever."Kelly?" Gwen brings her hand out to lightly touch Kelly's tense arm, to help soothe some of it out. Even if Gwen could have used the opportunity to know more about the situation, she decides against that. "Breath." The girl follows diligently. Once she is sure that everything is okay again, Kelly is back to talking. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-""It's alright," she softly states. "You worry. It's okay to feel that.""I know you'll be working closely with him in the next few weeks. I hope you don't take it personally if ever he snaps or something like that." That almost knocked her off the chair. She is sure that what transpired between them is one of the reasons why Blake could be so bothered. It hits her that Kelly doesn't exactly know."Work is work, Kelly," Gwen goes for that to sound oblivious to her previous panicky thoughts. "Things will be fine."Her latest statement is a bit vague given the context that Gwen knows. Kelly, on the other hand, settles with that and gives her a hug while whispering a thank you.Once Kelly left, she takes a deep breath to help ease her chest and mind. She hears another short 'ding' from her phone and Gwen grabs that opportunity to distract herself.Before she could even open the messages app, Behati's caller I.D. popped up on her screen.On a brighter note, she started talking to Adam and Behati after the San Franciso trip about the house they're planning to build outside of L.A. She and Behati became instant friends because of their love for fashion. All of them also seemed to agree with the ideas that Gwen presented, so she knew that this is going to be a fun project for her."Hey, Gwen!" Behati greeted. "Are you doing something, or did I call at the wrong time?" She sensed the small worry in Behati's tone, but she reassures quickly."I'm all good. I'm prepping to leave," she looks over to her side to grab her bag and place some stuff in it from the table. Multi-tasking wasn't her forte, but she decides to gambit with it."That's great! Just in the nick of time." Behati can be heard excited and clapping on the other end, which generated a giggle from her. "I'll see you for dinner later?""Of course, Behati! See you!" With that, she ends the call and tries to shift her focus to something more important. If she wants to get started on that mantra and practice, what a better way to do it than now, right? -----"Gwen! You're finally here!" When the couple saw her, Behati quickly stands up and hugs her tight, as if they hadn't seen each other in a long time."Of course! It's great hanging out with you two." She says as she briefly brought her attention to hanging her bag on the small hook under the table before looking back at Behati and Adam."And this is your way to get some stress off of work. I know designing can be hectic sometimes," Adam adds as he fixes his posture before leaning towards the table."It can be hectic, but I love designing, so I don't mind." It's one of her passions because she gets to be creative. She also has control over her time which is a benefit from being in a high position. Gwen is grateful for that, but because she doesn't have much to go home to, she'd rather report for work, even if that meant facing Blake occasionally."How's everything going with your family, by the way?" Behati asks. She has shared some of their traditions and a few other stories with Behati, which is why she understands the excitement.A giggle comes through first before she replies. "It's going great. I get to go to our Sunday dinners again. I definitely missed those. It's one bright light with being back in California.""Sunday dinners really sounds fun and heartwarming," Behati comments. "We need to start doing those some time." Behati looks to Adam and tries with her pleading eyes. He, in return, just shakes his head."I think we can work with that. Maybe we'll ask Gwen about how they pull that off some time," Adam finally settles before kissing Behati on the forehead. "Are you doing good so far, Gwen?""Yeah. I third-wheel all the time with my brother and sister-in-law, so that's no biggie," she chuckles. "Besides, you two are great together."She lowkey wishes that she had that kind of love too, but maybe it is not meant for her in this lifetime. She knows that she is not closing her doors for it, but she's not about to force it when she just got her hopes up, only for it to go down the gutter in the end."Oh, um, about that." She senses the uneasiness from Behati's tone. When she looks to her right, she finds Blake's figure standing by the chair beside her. Great. Gwen has to redirect her thoughts since she's not about to let this mess with her mood. She figures that if she wants to perfect being professional being around him at work, then she has to be with him at some point inevitably and practice her composure. He is also Adam's friend, so she tries to focus on that thought instead."You don't mind, Gwen?" Adam hesitantly asks."It's alright. He needs a break from work too." She tries to be as kind but composed and neutral as possible with her facial expression to avoid any other meanings that may be drawn from it.When she sees Adam's sympathetic and relieved smile, a question enters her head that she immediately disregards.Blake carefully took a seat beside her, and her heart rate shoots through the roof. She almost couldn't control her eyes widening at her reaction, but she saves herself just in time. Easy, Gwen. Easy. Boundaries. That keyword seemed to work because she is back to focusing whatever conversation the couple on the other side of the table had started.The waitress approaches them to finally take their orders, and everyone takes turns in saying theirs."I'll have this meal." She politely says while pointing to the picture on the menu. "Would it be okay if you have it in Vegetarian?" She saw that option, so she tries to shoot her shot about that part."Of course, ma'am." The waitress kindly smiles before asking Blake his order. She didn't bother to acknowledge his voice to help herself from being any more distracted by it. Gwen carefully fixes her posture while engaging in another conversation with Behati and Adam.Blake is awfully quiet almost the entire time. She knows that he must be feeling a little uneasy with her here, but there's something about his stance that she couldn't put her finger on.
Okay, Gwen. Stop. Ease on the curiosity.
She can't actually shake her head off as she did in the office, so she does a deep exhale instead. It worked, for the time being, so she accepts the small amount of relief that came with it.Out of the blue, Blake's phone rang. Everyone at the table is startled by the sudden sound and shifted their gazes on him."You're not about to take that, are you?" Adam boldly speaks up."Sorry." Blake's tone clearly sounded apologetic. She was met with his eyes briefly. She was caught off guard, not expecting that. Then, he looks at his phone and swiping it before he stood up and headed outside.She didn't avert her gaze away from him until he was completely outside. Adam's loud sigh brought her attention back to the table.There was a sad emotion portrayed on his face that she doesn't expect since his tone from a while ago would've leaned towards mad. Behati rubs her nearby hand to his back."Is everything alright, Adam?" Her mind won again because that question was out before she could even think about it."Yeah," he slowly replies. "It's just-" Adam suddenly stops, and she can visibly see how he's trying to fix his thoughts so that he could say it properly.She and Behati patiently waited for whatever he had to say. Adam deeply sighs again and leans against the table. "Can I open up to you about something?" She couldn't control her eyes widening, but she nods because she knows that it's hard to bottle everything up.Gwen is not sure how that is working out for Blake."Blake is," Adam pauses, and she quickly realizes where the topic will be quickly steering to. "He's just not like this," Adam goes for that instead as he disregarded his initial words.He runs his hands through his hair before he continues. "I'm sure you're beginning to notice how closed off he is." He's damn right, and it's confusing and hurting me, honestly. When there was silence, she noticed that Adam's gaze was on her, and she nods to acknowledge his previous statement. With that, he continues. "I wish I could, and I don't know, go back in time and try to get him out of his head because I wasn't exactly there when he actually went through things."Her heart momentarily stopped because she didn't expect this turn. She listens carefully, not wanting to miss a word."I met Blake way back when he still lived in San Francisco. I was performing, and he was there in the venue. We got along quickly and, not long afterwards, saw him really struggle on his way to the top, even in his relationships." Adam started massaging his forehead briefly, and his eyes roamed between her and Behati, who were intently listening. "I think you found out when you were in San Franciso that Jason is married to his first girlfriend, Kaynette."She hummed in response to that as she briefly remembers when Kelly answered her query about Blake's feelings towards Jason. "I don't know much about that because he didn't exactly tell me all of it. It hurt him bad enough to move to L.A. and build his company here." Oh. She takes a deep breath to help brace herself for whatever further information she’ll find out tonight."Anyways, he got into this relationship when Shelton Enterprises was beginning to enter its prime. I didn't like the girl because I sensed something when I met her once. I wish I could've helped him prevent that because I'm sure that his last relationship fucked him up so bad that he became this closed-off guy from the dumbass that used to throw jokes almost every minute to make everyone laugh."She guesses that some parts remain vague since Blake might not have opened everything to Adam, but she also almost doesn't know what to do with the information she received. It all took her by surprise. Nonetheless, she quite understands now. When Gwen realizes that Adam isn't done yet, she remains silent."He got fucked up so bad that the company suffered as well since I think the girl was a part of the company too. I saw him drown himself in work to bring everything back to normal. I couldn't prevent him because he just kept pushing me away. I was just glad that, lately, he is okay with my frequent visits to his office. I guess he forgot that he was human in the middle of everything and left himself out from all the saving he did."She looks to her side and deeply exhales with what she found out. Her chest tightens again but for a different reason. She knows there is more to this, but she is content with what she found out tonight. She keeps silent because she doesn't want to imply that she is meaning to press for more. The moment she looks at Adam, she sees an apologetic look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I let this out on you both right now. I'm just relieved that he agreed to go out to dinner tonight. It has been a while. And I'm saying this because I think he might be giving you a hard time at work. This is not him, Gwen. I swear. He won't let us in. I just-" Adam stops speaking and sighs."It's okay, Adam. I understand." She sympathetically smiles as she brings out her arm to caress Adam's and Behati's tangled hands for a few seconds.Everything that Adam told her definitely brings a little light to how he's acted with her. Gwen instantly realizes that this might be the same as Kelly's worry, especially because his work was also mentioned and involved.She doesn't know what it feels like to own a big firm, but she is not about to undermine Blake's hard work and efforts in establishing the success that the company has now. It's definitely heartbreaking to see all that go down the drain, so, of course, you'd do everything in your power to save it. She is not aware how long ago this was since she hasn't exactly seen articles about Shelton Enterprises struggling. Tabloids definitely have their way of twisting things, so she's not about to 100% trust that. She can trust Adam's sentiments because he is Blake's friend, a genuine one at that."Thank you, Gwen and Behati. This dinner was supposed to be a light thing. Sorry about that." Adam rubs the back of his neck while squeezing Behati's hand."I'm a friend, Adam. You can talk to me about anything. Don't feel so guilty about not warning him about the girl. I don't think Blake would like the fact that you’re feeling that way." The memory of him responding to how she expressed her guilt over the Jason situation crossed her mind, how his touch erased all of those feelings in a matter of seconds.Once again, she is brought back to reality when she sees Behati stand up and briefly hugs her to her side. It wasn't long until Behati rushed back to her chair."Thank you again, Gwen." He warmly smiles. "I think we should change to a different topic to make things lighter," Adam decides. "And Blake is coming back, so I don't exactly want my worry to send him running."There was definitely a previous experience linked with that statement, but Gwen willed herself not to press for it since she is already overwhelmed with what she found out. In the meantime, she lets it slide. The new information will definitely send her into deep thinking once she is all alone, but she won't entertain that possibility for now.The girls eventually nodded in acknowledgment, and it wasn't long until Blake's presence was felt in the room."Sorry. Took long," he says before she heard his chair being pulled out for him to sit."It's alright, Blake," Behati reassures before looking to the counter far behind her. "I think our order is coming out, so you're back in the nick of time."When the table was silent again, she looks to her right, only to find Blake rummaging something on his phone before lifting his head up. She kept her eyes on him, and it wasn't long until his met hers again.She doesn't trouble herself on reading the emotion in it because her heart was already pounding with worry for him. She's not sure how soon she will discover the detailed stuff. She can wait, but for now, she remembers trying to be professional whenever she's around him.She can't help it, though, so she expresses a sympathetic smile similar to what she exhibited to Adam a while ago. She notices the moment that it caught Blake off guard but is not going to speak up about it.When she sees his shoulders relax, it's something she nods at and settles for the time being.It's too early to say that she forgives how he pulled her closer but, at the same time, pushed her away like it's no one's business. But, she is sure that she has a little understanding of where everything comes from.She decides then and there that if she were to find out the next bits, it has to be from Blake. That might be a long ride on its own, but for now, she'll stick to handling things civilly. It’s the only way she could protect her heart from all the emotions that she can come to experience in the next weeks and brace herself for when that revealing moment comes towards her and Blake.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The space is killing him.Even if they are working closely when it comes to certain projects, there was that figurative boundary between the both of them.God, he hates it so much. Blake is the one that brought this upon them, and it has definitely resulted in numerous tossing and turning sessions as the nights went by.The days would always start extremely well when he sees how incredible she is with her craft and being involved with their clients. Seeing her in action always left him in awe, like she is meant to be this strong and empowering woman that he wishes he could be around more. Then, he is reminded of the situation he got them in, and his mood doesn't take ten seconds for it to be completely ruined.Blake makes it hard for him to come to terms with himself on how he really feels towards Gwen, so how is he supposed to make things right with her in the first place?He could've apologized in that specific moment before their kiss, but no. He lost control and made matters worse for the both of them, hurting her in the process. He could've actually let her in to help her understand, but no. He succumbs to his insecurities because that is what he was trained to do in the past year.He even let her leave when there could be an option to try and explain things one more damn time. All he just wants is her touch, her care, and her understanding. Having that thought for too many instances never fails to send him into a spiral of buried feelings and emotions that he isn't prepared for.This is what he meant when his guard is let down easily. She makes him feel too much, and it reminds him that he's human. That shit scares him a lot too, because he wasn't used to it anymore.The last time that he felt like a human was during their kiss and, way before that, it almost cost him the company and the careers of the people that work in it.
Get it together, Blake. Here we go again.
He covers his face with both hands and leans his elbow against the table. One quite loud exhale later, there goes another attempt to try and shift his focus back to work. This was the specific day of the week that he and Gwen didn't have to work closely. Though the physical distance helped ease his insides, it still hurts just as much with the figurative one.
You asked for this when you could've clarified it. Now, I'm the one to complain.
Blake abruptly stands up and scratches his stubble to try and calm himself. He picks up his tumbler and decides to go outside his office to get some water from the dispenser in the hallway. He would've asked Kelly to do it for him, but he desperately needs the distraction.Just as he is about to enter back into his office, his gaze lands on Gwen's desk. He could've looked away, but what he saw awakens flashes of worry that he isn't ready to feel either.She looked tired and stressed while trying to massage her forehead with one of her hands. She repeats the motion until her eyes fell shut. He has no clue about what's going on. Suddenly, he is determined to find out. He uses the excuse that it may affect her performance at work, so he musters up the courage to tap on Kelly's desk."Kelly?" he almost whispers. He knows he has to brace himself for the pending interaction, so he thought letting Kelly call Gwen would buy him some time."Yes, Sir?" Kelly looks up in the midst of scribbling something on her notepad."Call Gwen," he says slowly since he's a little nervous and wouldn't want that to show.Oblivious to the commotion going on in his head, the girl nods without needing any further explanation and stands up to make her way to Gwen's desk. He uses that time to go into his office, place his tumbler back on his desk, and take a deep breath.He knows he can't exactly patch things up then and there, but he disregards the upcoming insecurity of him submitting to his worry for her."He's inside." Blake hears Kelly murmur from afar.The next sound he hears are the footsteps from what he assumes is her heels. It hits him that she's in the same room as him again, and he feels his stomach turn at the thought."Is there anything I can help you with, Sir Blake?" Her voice sounded a little hoarse, which had his eyes widen. He carefully turns around and sees the effort to remain professional and composed in her stance, but he also notices the same stressed and tired expression on her face.The silence lingered a little too long, and he knows deep down that he wants to make things easier, at least for her sake. He allocates his energy wisely on pushing those impending and destroying thoughts back down and, eventually, clearing his throat before he speaks."Are you okay?" He stammers but feels the small surge of relief when it was finally out. He wishes that he could always be this courageous and find it that easy.He catches the moment of shock in her face and the way her shoulders made a small movement backward like she was about to free fall to the floor."If I answer that question, would you hide away again?" Despite her soft voice, he senses the true emotion behind her query. He should've expected that to come around, and he doesn't blame her for feeling that way. After what he did to her, he knew it's only right for her to be extra vigilant with him. His chest tightens for that reason, and he gives everything he got so that he won't break in front of her.His gaze lands on hers to establish eye contact. In the least, she deserves that. He presses his lips together as his mind suddenly went blank. He wasn't exactly prepared to answer her question or even reassure her of anything. Still, he takes advantage of the chance that his brain momentarily forgot to let the insecurities rise to the occasion.He decides to give all of his focus to her eyes, a little taken aback to see like she is waiting for something. Blake realizes that she is trying to be patient with him even if she could have every right to be mad at him at this moment, and his heart could almost combust at the thought."I'm sorry." It's what he ends up saying. That became too vague for his liking, and he immediately looked down. In his mind, he is sorry for everything. Though it could've been the most useless timing and thing for him to say, it is the one thing he is brave enough to admit to himself and in front of her."You care, Blake," she knowingly points out, "It's not the worst feeling to have in the world. But you know what's definitely worse?"The pause that emerges has his eyes shifting from staring at the floor to her. He feels his heart breaking when he sees her shed a tear. "You push people away even if you want them to care about you. Better yet, you push the ones who you also care about because it seems easier." He cannot comprehend how her voice is more soft than stern and doesn't miss the cracks on certain parts. The urge to approach her, hold her, and whisper all the ways of saying apologies fills his mind, but he is not about to cross any more boundaries if everything is still unclear with the both of them.She definitely called him out on his crap, and the least he could do was clarify the one thing that came to his mind next. "I don't regret it." That was what he resorted to whispering instead."The kiss?" Gwen is definitely smart enough to put two and two together. He is extremely lucky at that. "Didn't look like it," she follows more firmly yet gently with her tone.He half expects her to scream at him as they have this conversation. The patience she has boggles his mind, and he knows she deserves better than this, better than him. "I know," he answers and looks up to see the surprised bearing on her face, most likely not seeing his quick response coming."I got my hopes up, Blake, then you caved." If the circumstances were different, he would've boldly expressed how he loves her honesty. That's obviously not the case. "I can be patient, but you need to make up your damn mind. It would've been easy not to care, but that's exactly my problem."It's like she verbalized most of what he is actually thinking about, and that almost knocked him off his feet. He took a deep breath and made sure every ounce of his being was facing her. He knows he is shaking from the shoulders to all the way down. Even if he wants to respond to that, he remains frozen and lets her speak out whatever she was holding in."I don't need you to say anything right now," she tells that next, and it shocks him even more as if she knew something. "But if we have nothing else to talk about, can I at least leave this room? Because I can't take it if my hopes rise up again."He understands, and it shatters his heart at the same time. It was her way of saying that she can give him the time he needs, but he also needs to make amends with everything going on in his head. She said everything she could say. It's only him that is dragging things out by now."I'm sorry." That I hurt you. I don't deserve your patience. are what he doesn't say. He holds back a tear that formed in his eyes, and he averts his gaze away from her, afraid that she might see that. "A-and, yes," he follows after a few moments of silence."Okay. Thank you." He is sure that is not directed towards his sorry. It's a response he didn't see coming either. The minute his eyes widen, the tear makes its way down his cheek. He is not sure if he can safely wipe it because Gwen still might be in the room with him."You're human, Blake. I hope you remember that in the least." That's the last thing she says before he hears the glass door of his office open, indicating that she was leaving.---He doesn't remember the last time he cried. Everything that came with it overwhelmed him to the point that he couldn't hold things in anymore, even if he wants to stop.It's like a dam opened, and it all just came flowing out.He thought he could control until at least when he got home. Still, when he hears the footsteps of the employees leaving the office, the idea of being mostly alone in the area definitely enticed his emotions to finally let go.The shivers that followed were something he isn't prepared for, and he barely remembers that it was associated with the situation, yet he just lets his entire body shudder as he lets the tears stream down his face. The impending sobs are what he tries to contain because he isn't certain if no one was actually there outside.His breakdown was long overdue, and Gwen's statement seems to be the final trigger for that. He thought that by burying it down, he would eventually forget it. The thing is, it's what's haunting him and mostly controlling him all this time.Emotions and attachment are what almost cost him everything he has and had, so he thinks that he can do better with keeping everything intact if he could disregard that. Flashbacks of his past threatened to invade his mind, but he pushes that away, not ready to tackle those yet, at least not today.A lot of things have opened for him in the past hour, and he can't even deny the lightness he feels in his chest after crying for a bit despite his quite runny nose.There's a lot that he actually has to face and let go of soon, but for now, he opts to calm down because the thought of the guards closing up the floor pops up in his brain next.The ringtone that plays from his phone is what startles him that he almost jumped off his chair. He inhales and exhales quickly before wiping his face with his hand and grabbing his phone with the other."Oh my god. Finally! Someone who answered. Hello?" A high-pitched voice that he doesn't recognize is the one that greets on the other end of the line."Y-yes?" He couldn't control his stutter, but it's better than sounding completely weak due to his previous outburst. Besides, the person he is talking to doesn't know what's happening to him, so he redirects all his energy on trying not to let it bother him."I'm actually calling from Ms. Stefani's cell. She is unconscious as of now and needs someone here at the hospital." What?! He pulls his phone away from his ear and scrubs his eyes to get a better look at the screen. The contact name said 'Gwen,' and he almost wanted to punch himself for not noticing that when he picks up. This is why he hates crying because his mind seems to float in the succeeding moments.Now was not the time for him to scold himself, so he brings his phone back to his ear and tries to focus on the situation."What happened to her?" He sounded shaky, but he has no control over it. Even if his mind was a little bit out of it, those previous words of the caller had registered."She got into a car accident. Do you happen to be her boyfriend?" Both sentences shook him to the bone that he couldn't respond immediately. He knows that her family should know Gwen's whereabouts, but he still recalls that he was the only one who answered the call, basing on the statement that greeted him when he answered the phone."Where is she?" He knows he shouldn't have dodged the question, but the urge to see her wins, especially with how their last conversation ended. He can't handle the guilt.The girl hadn't said anything, and he's already standing up to prepare to leave."I will text the hospital address, Sir." He finally hears.That's all he needs to know, so he drops the call and frantically gets everything he needs before running off to leave his office.The ride to the hospital has his nerves rising in his chest, but he still has enough focus to drive. Speed tickets will be waving at him, but at the moment, he doesn't care.He promises to himself that he will inform Gwen's family in some way. That plan was vague. It'll have to do because his mind temporarily went blank as he sees the hospital in his line of vision. Thank the heavens there was an available parking space near the ER entrance, so it makes things a little easier.Blake is probably the last person Gwen wants to see right now, but the adrenaline rush sends him out of his car and running to the ER. "Stefani, Gwen," he lets out even if he was panting once he reached the reception area."You're the boyfriend that we talked to a while ago?" The nurse tries to confirm.He should have seen that coming because he didn't clarify anything with the nurse on the phone. The statement caught him off guard for a second, but he quickly recovers and mindlessly answers, "Yes.""She's behind that curtain." The nurse points towards the area on the far left behind her.He mumbles a brief 'thank you' before rushing to that area. Once he faces the curtain, he is unsure if he will be met with an awake Gwen or something far worse than what his mind thought of. The nurse on the phone didn't talk about any other details about her condition, and it scares him more than he likes to admit. It's now or never. He thinks to himself before taking a deep breath and opening the curtains. He saw a sleeping Gwen with bandages wrapped around her left leg and left hand. His heart temporarily stops because of relief that her condition isn't critical and of worry about how she is feeling right now.Blake is afraid to make a move, thinking she'll wake up any minute from now, and her first instinct when she sees him would be yelling to kick him out."Sir," the nurse announces, then uttering an 'umph' shortly after because she collided with Blake's back."Sorry," he says after making way for the girl, left with no choice but to be nearer to Gwen's bed."It's okay, Sir. I'm glad someone is finally here. These are her personal belongings, by the way." He was handed over a ziplock that contains Gwen's phone, wallet, and other stuff."What happened to her?" There was a certain fear attached to asking that question, but his curiosity is what's currently occupying his head right now. He can't handle not knowing for a second longer."An SUV bumped into her car. She was wearing her seatbelt, but the SUV was quite fast, so it hit her with great impact. That caused her to blackout and resulted in minor injuries on her left leg and hand. Other than that, all of her vital signs are normal. She actually woke up a while ago. I guess her tiredness sent her back to sleeping again."He should be relieved that she is okay, but the fact that she got into an accident after the emotionally charged conversation with him earlier makes him think that it could be too much. It doesn't ease any of the aching feeling in his heart that he looks at her with sad eyes, resisting the need to hold her as if that was going to take all the pain away."We can just wait for her to wake up, and you can take her home. Also, sir, I think it's important for you to know that she has a little fever. Her temperature was way too high a while ago, but it has subsided a little bit right now."A moment of realization hits him as to why she was looking tired and stressed a while ago. He should've known or pushed to know how she was feeling a while ago. He could've prevented the accident from happening had he offered to drive her instead or ask someone to take her home since he remembered their situation."Will she be okay?" It was a dumb question to ask since the answer is right in front of him, but it's all he can think of asking or saying next."She will be. We have some fever meds that are prescribed by the doctor here. That helps with the pain from her left limbs at the same time." He was handed a little paper bag and nodded at the nurse as his way of silently thanking her."Charge everything under me," he says next when he pulls out his wallet and gets his card."Noted, Sir. I'll be right back. You can sit there while we wait for the patient to wake up." The nurse nicely remarks and turns around to leave them alone for the next few minutes.His legs are sort of killing him, so he decides to sit down and pull his chair a little closer to the bed. The hand that isn't holding anything is undeniably shaking as he is still uncertain of how Gwen would react to him being here. He needs to prepare something to say to her like an apology or explanation, maybe even both. She told him that she can be patient with him hours back but can't handle hurting herself more by staying in the room as he makes up his mind, yet he is already here again in close proximity.He doesn't want to leave. He can't stand the distance any longer. He wants to finally show her that he really cares and he will do anything and everything to make it up to her. In a split decision, he knows he has to face everything that can come with those declarations, and if he stumbles along the way, he has to at least promise that he will try. It hits him that he will definitely regret it if he won't.Blake will try to be the man that is enough for her, better yet, more than enough because this gorgeous and amazing woman deserves nothing but more than that. Thoughts into action. I have to fix this. I want to make it up to her. It's that one word that could change the game is what he doesn't think of for now. He already feels overwhelmed and has to get it together.He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to maintain his composure. He grips the stuff he's holding in his right hand a little too hard; it wasn't long until he heard the curtains slide open."Sir, here's your card. Thank you so much," the nurse cheerily greets while extending her arm out."T-thank you." The stutter wasn't pointed out, and he thanks the heavens for that. His hands are still shaky as he attempts to place the card back in his wallet."Blake?" Her sultry but hoarse voice is the next thing his mind registers. Shit. Okay. He freezes, not mainly because he is scared he will be exposed but rather because he doesn't have time to brace himself for the moment he is nervous about."Miss Stefani, it's good that you're awake again," the nurse speaks out since the girl is not aware of anything regarding the situation. "Your boyfriend is finally here. I didn't get to tell you a while ago, but he will be escorting you home as soon as you're good to stand."The latter set of statements is something he hasn't prepared for either. His nerves started rising again because Gwen's reaction could make or break the game."I'll leave you two be," the nurse gently beats them to it and marches out. "Sir, let me know if she'll need crutches." That was the last thing he hears before realizing that they were alone.His promise and plan would not work if he remains shaken in front of her, so he slowly faces Gwen. All he sees next is how beautiful she still is and her full attention set on him.Gwen is dead silent. Instead, she makes a move in an effort to get up, it seems."Wait," he abruptly stands, his mind going blank and his hand dropping the stuff on the chair."I'm just going to sit on the edge of the bed," she utters. He doesn't know where he's going to touch because he reminds himself that things aren't fixed between them. He just came to terms with the declarations—the how wasn't figured out yet, as of the moment."Okay," he stammers. The nerves are definitely showing, and he can't control it since he is more focused on making sure she doesn't fall off the bed.Blake brings his hands back to his sides and subtly swallows while waiting for her. It doesn't take her a while to bring her doe eyes up to be in eye contact with him.His heart rate shoots through the roof. It's like he's waiting for her to be mad at him while he is also setting his mind to prepare what to respond to prove that he will be staying."Why are you here?" She asks first. He expects that question, and he wants to be fully honest with her."They called." Blake, come on. "I had to see you," he finally blurts out.He catches the moment her eyes widen. The confession being out in the open feels surreal for him. He wants to be proud for finally saying it out loud, but he still has a long way to go if he really wants to show her."Please tell me this is real," she softly speaks and sees her lips shivering. He briefly breaks eye contact because of how intense that felt. He lets his chest rise up and down and showingly nods before facing her again."I-I'm sorry," he sounds like a broken record, but he lets his voice crack even if that meant many questions could be asked. "Shouldn't have hurt you."He looks down and feels his hands on his sides shaking. He tries to let her see him slowly but surely at this moment. It's his way of trying to put into action all of the declarations in his head earlier. He knows he is struggling when he feels his throat tighten, and he fights the insecurities that are resurfacing in his head again.Her cold hand in contact with his brings him back to reality, and he finds himself staring at it way too long. His knees are also shaking, but he wills himself to keep an upright position."Can you help me stand up?" That's all she says, and he sprung into action quickly, being extra attentive if she winces with the movement. So far, so good. It brings a moment of relief for him, and his body relatively calms down after a while with the touch."I accept your apology," she gently starts while feeling her gaze on him. He whips his head towards her. He is not sure if he is expressing how shocked he is. The silence wasn't awkward, but it's enough for him to have some time to try and make sense of himself if he attempts to reply at that."C-can I drive you home?" The shakiness transferred to his voice. A pending war starts in his head, and he is not about to let that mess this up. Not now, you damn head. She nods in response to that, and he redirects his mind to carefully escorting her towards his car.The ride is silent, and he actually needs it because his nerves are being translated to a little tight grip on the wheel. He is still alert with driving, though, since he doesn't want to put Gwen in another accident. Even if Gwen verbally expresses that she accepts his apology, he is still scared that she comes to a certain realization and snaps at him, which will ruin his chances of making things right with her.Once they arrive at her house after listening to Gwen's directions, he looks to his side and becomes confused that she was just staring out the window.Despite how nervous he is, he swallows like it's going to ease them and speaks slowly. "Are you okay?""I forgot that someone was repainting the walls today. I was supposed to stay at a hotel for tonight."It just meant that all stuff in her house was messed up. That would make it hard for her to move around, considering she might still be hurting from her injury. He thinks fast and unconsciously blinks rapidly. "You can stay with me."Before he even has time to think it through, the offer was already out of his mouth. He catches her eyes widen, and he panics as if he overstepped. "I-I didn't mean. I can book you a hotel. Um, if you're not com-" he pauses as he grips the steering wheel. He knows he has to finish the sentence to avoid misunderstandings, so he takes a deep breath to regroup. Blake, come on. "If you're not comfortable, we can-""It's okay with me," she gently cuts him off, and he whips his head towards her again, a little speechless about her response. At the same time, he felt relieved that it didn't exude any hidden meanings because he never wanted to imply that. All he wishes is to show courtesy and care to her, like what he promises to try and be brave about."I just need to get some clothes for the night," she adds, distracting him from his thoughts."I want to help," he tackles the sentence slowly because he feels his chest throbbing out of nowhere.When she nods, he took that as his cue to turn off the engine for now and rush out of the car to get to her side.He is doing okay so far, and he hopes it's always like this. Blake means it with his whole being when he said he wants to do and to be more than enough for the woman sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for his assistance.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
She hasn't had a good sleep like this in years.Gwen won't deny how comfy it is to be in Blake's home and the fact that she felt so safe despite things being a little tense with them.She meant it when she said she forgives him. The entire one-month 'space' from the San Francisco trip gave her time to clear her head, especially when she found out about the tip-of-the-iceberg details about Blake. The next two weeks that followed after that dinner with Adam and Behati put things into a brighter perspective when it comes to him.The urgency to be the one to patch things up was not something she wished to initiate though. At the end of the day, she still felt hurt by his actions. It caught her off guard to see Blake admit that to her face in the hospital.No matter how much she wanted to be furious with him, she took notice of all the times he hesitated to approach her on a more personal note every time they'd work closely together during some projects. She saw how much he has pushed himself to even initiate a conversation with her before she left the office. She even visibly makes out his struggle to be out in the open back when they were in the ER.There's still a long way for the both of them, especially on Blake's end, but the fact that he tried softens her heart at the effort. She doesn't want to lower her guard again too much, but she knows she is failing at that.She didn't even stand a chance when it came the moment that he began to put some of his walls down as the night went by. Don't get her wrong though. She fears the moment he'll put them back up again, but when she sees him making an effort, the thought evaporates from her head as quickly as it arrived.
He is trying.
Don't even get her started on his subtle attempts to take care of her last night. Her left arm and left leg are still hurting from the accident. She probably couldn't control some of her winces at the pain that shoots up when she tries to move them, so Blake ends up patiently escorting her into her house to get some clothes and into the room that she's resting in right now.She barely lifted a finger when she got here. He prepared the towels and the bed for her. All she had to do was clean herself and lay on the bed.When she woke up in the middle of the night on many occasions because of accidentally putting too much weight on her left leg, she faked her sleeping every time she hears Blake come back to the room to check on her fever. She thinks that if he saw her awake, he would be hesitant, so she tried her best with the pretending to be able to understand how he is when he's in his own space. There wasn't much she could figure out because her eyes were mostly closed the entire time.It wasn't hard to recognize the difference between having Blake's presence in the room and not having it. His warm hand against her forehead is all the confirmation she needed as well.When she's sure he'd stand up again, she opens one eye to get a glimpse of him. Thank goodness she didn't get caught or anything related for that matter.As of now, she's feeling better. Gwen brings her right hand to her forehead and feels relieved that it feels like it's back to a normal temperature at the moment. She carefully moves to avoid any sharp pains on her left limbs and tries to look around the room. She couldn't take in everything because of the dim light last night. Now that she has the chance, why not?The room is spacious, and she thinks it's definitely perfect for someone like Blake who is a huge guy, to begin with. There was a closet and drawer to her right, then the door that was located on the far right was the bathroom, even the bathroom was huge and had complete stuff as she recalls.Gwen thinks it's too big to be a guest room, but she disregards that little thought for now.She's not sure if Blake is awake yet. And she is reluctant about standing up, so she brings her gaze to the side table where she assumes that's where her phone is situated.She is surprised to see a glass of water standing there. Her heart almost melts at the thoughtfulness of the gesture, but she won't directly admit that for now.After carefully reaching out and taking a sip, she didn't mean to drink everything in one sitting, but it's probably her body demanding some fluids. Right when she sets the cup back on the side table, she hears the door slowly creak open.The next thing she sees is Blake's head peeking, and catches the moment that he realizes she's awake."Good morning," he shyly starts as he enters the room and carefully closes the door."Good morning," she greets with a small smile. Gwen observes him contemplate on what to do next and doesn't point out anything when he begins approaching her."Can I," he stutters then pauses and struggles with what to do with his hand. She doesn't want to ruin the moment, so she lets her patience take the wheel. "Are you okay?" He goes for that instead.That's when she immediately understood what he meant. She nods and decides to verbalize it. "I'm feeling better now. I don't think I have a fever anymore."He bobs his head, seeing that brief look of relief on his face. There was still a little worry on it, she assumes. It was confirmed by his next query. "Is it okay if we take a temperature?" he said slowly and quite nervous."Yeah, sure. Thank you." She goes for acknowledging his efforts and even smiles bigger to lighten the situation. He abruptly goes to the bathroom without uttering another word and comes back with a clinical thermometer.
I swear this man has almost everything in his house.
He points it to her forehead, and his pleased expression is enough to tell her that her temperature is back to normal. Gwen decides to sit up, and almost couldn't contain her giggle when she sees his panic at the sudden movement.Blake doesn't touch her though but remains attentive. "Thank you for the glass of water," she utters, breaking the silence. He smiled right after that and seemed to think about asking something.She waits for him on that note and sees the moment he takes a deep breath. "How's your-" he gestures towards her limbs.Once she shoots a glance at it, she tries to wiggle them a bit and feels a little pain. "They still hurt a little, but I think they're okay.""C-can I get something and be back here?" he stammers. The premise makes her curious, but she just bobs her head at that.She almost wanted to voice out her concern with how fast he leaves the room, fearing he'll trip, but she didn't have the time.It hits her that Blake is trying to take some steps to make it up to her. Her gaze remains fixated at the door and mumbles a little 'thank you' once again for his efforts on trying. She was still trying to gauge his stance which is why she couldn't fully warm up to him a while ago. But as soon as she recalls the recent moments and her thoughts, she makes a split decision to give Blake a chance. Though, she is insecure about the part where she hopes she could be enough for him not to lose sight of the fact that he deserves the concern, care, and appreciation he gets from other people. At least, she wants him to feel that even if it won't always be with her.
Okay, Gwen. What the heck is going on?
He hasn't told her anything yet about what his actions could imply, but she can be patient enough to wait for the moment that Blake will openly decide to tell her.If he won't, then she knows that she'll have to give him more space to make up his mind. Because like she said yesterday, she doesn't want to feel again how everything within her shatters at the exact second where her hopes will get crushed when he decides to close off.There was so much going on in her head that her eyes widen at it. Jeez. A knock that came out of nowhere startles her out of her thoughts. "You may come in," she softly says, her mind suddenly going blank.The door slowly opens, and she sees Blake's back trying to push it further. When he gradually turns around, she instantly spots the huge tray of what she assumes to be breakfast.He carefully walks to her side of the bed while balancing the food on both of his hands. He pulls out the legs underneath to transform it into a table and placed it in front of her. Gwen immediately felt overwhelmed with all of the contents she can make out.There were pancakes with syrup, butter, and eggs. She shifts her gaze to the right to find an egg benedict, then the utensils were on the side."You cooked all of this for me?" She couldn't hold it in any longer because the effort to do this shocks her. She hasn't been treated this way ever since she moved to New York 12 years ago, away from her family to work.He shyly nods at that, and she's left staring blankly at the tray again. "I um," he pauses then recovers a quick as he could, "Made benedict in case you want something vegetarian."She immediately remembers that he must have heard her go for the vegetarian option of the meal she ordered back at the dinner for him to provide that option for her. She slowly lifts her head to establish eye contact, and she sees the nervous expression on his face.Gwen couldn't quite comprehend why he was scared. She loves the gesture a lot, and she doesn't even have second thoughts about telling him that. "Blake, thank you for this," she genuinely conveys.He doesn't move even if he tries to hide the smile that emerges from his lips. "Won't you be eating too?" he remains silent at her question. After a while, it hits her (once again) that he didn't get to prepare something for himself."I don't always eat breakfast," he confesses right after the realization crosses her mind, and worry suddenly dominates her bearing.With some quick thinking, she smiles as the thought enters her head. Her mouth had a mind of its own when she began speaking again, "I can't eat all of this, so maybe you can join me? I won't mind at all." She almost didn't add the last part, but she predicts his hesitation, so she added something to reassure him."Okay," he timidly responds. She immediately but gently pats the spot on her left, to indicate that she'd appreciate it if he'd settle beside her.Blake springs into action and becomes extra careful when he climbs on the bed. "Don't worry you won't hurt my left limbs," she adds when she sees him slow down his movements, giving her a way out in case she changed her mind."Here," she pushes the plate with the pancakes nearer to him because she is interested in trying his egg benedict. She doesn't know if he started eating because Gwen was more focused on slicing the middle portion of the benedict with the knife.Once the poached egg's yolk covers the rest of the dish, she is extremely impressed at how it was perfectly pulled off. Blake has some mad skills to prepare something complicated like this. She can cook, but she could not execute this kind of dish properly for the life of her."Oh my god. You did this perfectly," she says in awe, "You're not related to Gordon Ramsay in some way?" She whips her gaze to him, half-joking with her tone, only to find him slowly shaking his head while trying to be subtle with his smile. She takes a bite in the next second; that's when everything melted in her mouth as the benedict is tasty and fresh. "Oh my god," she mumbles, bringing her hand to her mouth. Gwen does a big swallow and cleared her throat before speaking again. "This is so good." She excitedly expresses."T-thank you. Hope you'll like the rest of it," he sheepishly responds. Once she gets a proper look at him, she catches him on time to exhibit a smile. She doesn't know why, but she found it cute when he didn't know what to do with himself and abruptly went back to the food.They eat in silence for the next couple of minutes. Gwen is still too hooked on the food to even be nervous about the situation. It was really good, and if given the opportunity, she would eat it again.Blake clears his throat softly which catches her attention. She only had about two bites left, so she didn't mind. A part of her doesn't want to finish the meal yet."Gwen, I-" he struggles and takes a deep breath right after. She watches him close his eyes, and it didn't take long for him to look at her again. "I'm sorry," he gulps, "for everything."That is the first time she heard his voice more vulnerable than it was last night. She forgets about what's happening around her as her focus is dead set on Blake. He carefully places his plate back on the tray and slowly looks down, his fingers fumbling with each other. She was about to say something when he opened his mouth.She decides to let him go on because she wants him to know that she is listening actively. It looks like he froze, but she waits him out. Her attention temporarily goes to his shoulders that are rising up and down a little too fast. She didn't even hesitate to put one of her palms against one side, and she immediately felt his body calm down. He exhales a little too loud, and the sounds are finally coming out of his mouth."I shouldn't have led you on like that," he treads. She is too taken aback at how much he is trying to push himself to be more open with her. She wants to freak out because of the gratitude for his attempt, but all she can think about right now how appreciative she is for him trying."I know you're sorry," she finally speaks. Gwen meant every word. "I forgave you already," she gently follows.She sees him visibly relax as if all the tension completely evaporated after her second sentence. He looks at her again, and she can see his lip shaking. Concern overflows from her entire being, and she shoots her shot with caressing one of his arms."You made up for the fact that you made me breakfast and let me stay here," she opts for lightening up the mood because it hurts her to see him struggle like this as if he was scared.The thought almost made her confused, but when she looks into his eyes, he doesn't stray away this time. It's like he is trying to tell her something, and when his arm stiffens because of the tears that started to pool, it dawned on her.
He was afraid of himself.
"Still." He tries to argue, but a crack comes along. She sees the moment that it caught him off guard. "You," he pauses and swallows the lump in his throat, "You don't deserve to be treated like that." He said the sentence slowly. It was okay with her since she understands how this can be a big step for him if she were to consider Adam's words that this has been ongoing for a bit long.She is relieved about the fact that he did acknowledge his mistake. He didn't let that pass, and she realizes then and there that he is accountable for whatever happens. Her admiration for him grows in that very second."Yes. You did hurt me," she admits instead. "That's in the past now, Blake. You're owning up to what you did. I appreciate that." Her tone remains gentle throughout, and she sees him gearing up to say something else, so she silently encourages him through the slight bob of her head."I want to do better," he says next. That catches her off guard even more. "For you."Her mind begins to try on formulating an articulate response, but it was like a complete blackout.There was steady silence for a while. She didn't mean to break his gaze when she looks past his head, trying to come up with something. "You don't have to do it for me. I'm not requiring you to. You should do it for yourself." She tries to recall that sentence after saying it and settles for that since it sounded reasonable and fine."I-I know," he responds. "I just." Blake pauses again. "I want to," he repeats with sincere emphasis on his words.That last bit made her establish eye contact again. The silence wasn't deafening or anything similar. It was completely necessary as they were just staring at each other, figuring out the next step in their own heads.All she can do is surrender and have hope that things for the both of them will set their course starting now. Blake just let her in a small part of his headspace. There is a question that she wants to ask so bad, but she figures it could be saved for some other time because what happened just now seemed to be an eye-opener."Okay," she mindlessly blurts out afterward."I just wanna say thank you again for allotting some time to take care of me," she says next. She will go for a little bit of a subject change to help them get back on track this morning. He seems to be fine with it because of how he visibly relaxed even more."It's what you deserve," he slowly points out. She couldn't even control the somersaults happening inside her chest, but she hopes it's not too obvious on her face. "You have clothes for work?" he tries to ask next. She is also grateful for the steer he did since her mind was sort of malfunctioning, basing on her body's recent reaction. He is trying, and she just wants to let her appreciation show more than the flutters in her heart."I have." She almost forgets to respond, but she got the hang of it."C-can I," he hesitates but recovers quickly. "Can I drive you to work?"She reacts quickly. "Blake, you don't have to. That'd be too much.""I'm not asking." That confuses her for a second, then he follows. "I'm offering." He looked shy even if his tone sounded firm while saying that part, but she doesn't mind."Okay." It was as if that was the only coherent response that her mind can generate at this moment.The rest of the morning went by a blur. Blake didn't leave her alone until she got to walk safely into the bathroom (with some assistance, of course).As much as moving slower would be helpful for her left limbs, she does the opposite. Blake is waiting for her in these circumstances. Though he did mumble a soft 'take your time' a while ago, she doesn't want to look like she'll take advantage of that.She thanks the heavens that a lot of her belongings were safe along with her from the accident, so she has her bag with her personal belongings while the other contained the clothes she wore yesterday. She has the stuff to fully prepare from clothes to make-up. After finishing up, she walks out of the bathroom. When she whiskly laid her bag on the bed to organize its contents, it took her long to notice that there was another full glass of water on the side table.She is not sure if being thoughtful is an actual habit of him, but the butterflies she feels in her stomach because of the gesture overpower the chance to overthink.Being thirsty was not something she expected to constantly feel this morning. Still, his consistent refills are always timely. She drinks it all in one gulp and decides to get the glass along with her bags to bring them downstairs.Gwen walks slowly out of the room. Up to now, there were still little surges of pain when she moves her left leg, so she has no choice but to take it easy.She could've called Blake to help escort her, except she is a little stubborn with these kinds of things.Due to the pacing of her movements, she had the opportunity to look around the vast hallway of the second floor. The morning light provides her a better vision of the area.From an interior designer's perspective, she is truly impressed. There weren't too many hanging frames to the point where it was distracting, but there were enough to decorate the simple walls along with the lodge vibes.Like his room, everything screams Blake. The carpet that runs along the floor up to the stairs is a perfect match. It makes her feel like she is in a palace. The best part is that it is not slippery which is something she is eternally grateful for, given her situation.Once she reaches the stairs, she freezes. Her hands are full from holding the glass and her bags. She tries to recall how Blake helped her manage her weight with each step last night and ends up blank.She checks her wristwatch and feels a sigh of relief that they won't be late for work yet. Before she could even formulate a plan, she hears his footsteps quickly ascending the stairs."Gwen?" His voice doesn't easily register into her system that she became startled when she got back to her senses."I um," she sheepishly starts. "I need help in getting down the stairs. Sorry." The apology just came out of her mouth as if it came from muscle memory."S'okay," he gently responds. "I'll get this." Blake gets the glass and one of her bags to hold it on his right arm while the other extends for her to hold on to. "Take it easy."They didn't immediately move because the moment she got a hold of his arm, she almost lost her balance because of the sensations she felt that traveled all the way to her spine. She doesn't want to let her shivers show, so she takes a deep breath and nods before taking a step with her right foot.She clearly panics when she tried to move a little faster which ended up leaning a lot of weight on Blake. It seems like she temporarily forgot that she shouldn't put too much pressure on her left leg that she winced as soon as she felt the pain on it. She was too focused on not letting the reactions to his touch manifest on her face that the small precaution escaped her mind for a minute or two."I'm sorry," she says after a few seconds of silence as they remain still."S'okay," he reassures. She hears a little of his struggle there, but she won't point it out for today because she keeps in mind that he is doing his best. "Take your time."His patience with her boggles her mind. She almost forgot what they were going to do next.Taking a look at the stairs is the next thing she does to help her remember, then they proceed to steadily get out of the mansion and to work.The ride to the office isn't super eventful except for the consistent check-ins that Blake does. It could never irritate her because it is apparent that he cares. There are times where she sees him hold back, and she won't blame him on that.They are doing everything on their own terms regarding whatever this is. She silently asks for permission to flip through radio stations as a way to redirect her thoughts before they go out of control.When they arrive at the office, she is scared they will get some looks, but that wasn't the case. Blake remains patient in escorting her to walk. She doesn't know what to do with her dirty clothes in the separate bag at the back, but he allowed her to leave them in the car in the meantime.Gwen is so thankful that the office has an elevator because it was extremely beneficial for her since she can't handle the nerves of climbing up the stairs this time around.Inside the elevator, Blake kept his arm out for her to help keep her balance. She smiles at him every now and then to express how much she appreciates his attentiveness. It didn't even stop when they reached their floor. He escorted her up to her desk and helped her take a seat. Again, his patient surprises her so much. He does want to do better. She only hopes that he won't have doubts about always showing this side of him to her. She admits to herself that she loves it and prays that everyone gets to see it too.If you look past those efforts to always keep his guard up, there is this man who just wants to love and be loved.The moment that specific word pops up in her head, she freezes. It keeps her silent for a while.Her gaze is fixed on the covered glass walls of Blake's office, and she was shaken out of her bubble when Kelly politely calls her attention."Oh my gosh, Gwen!" Kelly greets and quickly approaches her. When she sees the bandages on Gwen's hand, she tries to tone her energy down. "Oh right. Um, how are you feeling?""I feel much better," she expresses. "My fever from yesterday is gone. These just hurt." Gwen wiggles the limbs she's referring to while Kelly nods."I'm glad you're fine," Kelly starts. "So," the girl smoothly switches the tone of her voice, giving her an idea of what Kelly is going to be talking about next. "You and Sir Blake arrived together. What happened?""He was there at the hospital," she admits, trusting Kelly because she is already a friend to her. "He took care of me."Her latest statement had Kelly's eyes widening. The girl prevents from squealing too loud that she had to close her eyes and jump a little to exhibit her excitement."Does this mean-" The grin on her colleague and friend's face almost said it all. "Wait, omg.""Honestly," she gently cuts her off, "I don't know, but it's definitely something different from what I have experienced with him in the past month.""I hope this means better things for the both of you," Kelly places her hand over her heart while the other one goes to hold her right hand."We'll see," Gwen timidly responds."Kelly, Sir Blake is asking for you." Someone quickly butts in. She doesn't want to keep anything waiting, so despite Kelly's brief apology, they end the conversation for now."Gwen?" She recognizes that as Alicia's voice."Hey, Alicia! Good morning.""I hope you're feeling better," she utters. Gwen nods while drew a smile from both of them.There was a momentary silence as Alicia tried to move her chair closer to Gwen. "You know, I like that side of Sir Blake," she states. The question mark that forms in her head seemed to manifest on her face because Alicia elaborates. "Caring and less tense. It's about time. Everyone noticed when you both entered the office, and I have to say, Gwen. Everyone most likely adored you after that."She prays to the heavens that the heat she feels on her cheeks isn't evident. It left her speechless, and she barely hears what Alicia said next because she was too much in her head even if it was totally blank at the same time. It's like everything is on overdrive as she's feeling so much in such a short time.The next thing her senses register is the sound of Blake's office door opening, she dares to take a peek, only to see Blake partially peeking out. He was already looking at her when she catches his gaze.Her heart started beating too fast when she laid eyes on him, then she saw his little but nervous smile, making her calm down the next second. She couldn't breathe with the amount of emotions she feels, so she just tries to smile back at him and gently nods before bringing her attention back to her desk.She could only hope that her entire being calms down to get her through the day. This time around, it wasn't for a tense-related matter.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
I hope I'm doing my words justice.
For the past two days, things have been okay between him and Gwen. He tries his best to take care of her as she recovers from her injuries. She hasn't bought a new car yet because it got wrecked in the accident, so he offers to take her to the office and to her home.He escorts her to the canteen to eat or when he notices that she is busy with work, he brings her meal to her desk. Before he leaves Gwen in her house, he makes sure she is settled in. Blake doesn't want to overstep in any way, so he doesn't even consider voicing an offer to sleep in her house even if he sometimes can't sleep due to the worry of her being alone.That one admission that has been knocking on his heart is something he doesn't entertain especially since his space outs are becoming frequent.He wants to do better for her. He doesn't want to hurt her again. It physically pains him when he is the cause of her stress and/or sadness.
Okay. Chill out, Blake. It doesn't mean that she forgave me; she automatically feels the way.
They haven't had another deep conversation and all the what-not aside from his almost-breakdown that morning. No matter how much his insecurities were clouding his head, he tries to fight it because it will never be right for him to just give her the short end of the stick again. Her heart is too kind and too understanding for that kind of treatment from him.He just couldn't do everything in one sitting. He feels like there's more work that needs to be done on his end.And more than that, his mind felt like it's on overdrive because of how much thinking he is doing these past few days.He appreciates Gwen's patience so much when it comes to him that he feels like he doesn't deserve it.There is no sign of judgement on her face that morning when he was trying his best to express his apologies. She is attentive and voices out her appreciation like it's her second nature.He loves that so much about her that it overwhelms him. It's a feeling that hits home. Something he thinks he won't ever have again after everything that has happened."Sir Blake?" The cashier has been calling him out, and he almost panics since he doesn't know how many times he was already called."Uh yeah?" He knows that was shaky, but at this point, it doesn't matter anymore."Here's the lunch you ordered. The utensils are also inside the paper." The guy hands over the huge bag that contained a full meal. He nods and briefly says 'thank you' before going to the elevator and back up to their floor. Even if he is always nervous to be face-to-face with Gwen, his care and worry for her overpower that, so he does everything he can for her.It wasn't long until the speakers made a ding sound. He clutches the top of the bag harder for some reason then swiftly walks his way out of the elevator to get to Gwen's desk before she decides to stand up and leave for lunch.Most of the employees are at the canteen, and it was only Gwen plus a few others who were left, working on whatever tasks they got to do. It makes him more nervous because nothing can distract him in case he freezes in front of her."Gwen?" He stutters but lets it go as he makes his presence known."Blake?" she responses in shock. Something about her bearing screamed confused, but the moment she saw the bag, he sees her realize."I-I got lunch for you." His heart was beating faster, and he tries his best to ignore it. He proceeds to place the bag on the table so that she won't have to hold it herself. He sees her left hand still bandaged, and he felt that the bag was heavy, so he won't even risk it."You didn't have to. Oh my god." Gwen's voice is just kept down, but it was loud enough for him to hear the emotion in it. He still can't process how it looks like this amount of effort is relatively new to her.
Whoever is the asshole responsible for this, he is going to pay.
"You," he pauses, thinking that he shouldn't say it aloud. Once he realizes that her full attention was still on him, her encouraging brown eyes weaken his resolve. "Don't have to stand in line too long. Could hurt your leg and get numb."Her features slowly form a smile, and he had to catch a breath to recover as his heart skipped a beat at that moment. One of his hands is shaking. He doesn't know which one, so he places both in his pocket."This is really nice of you, Blake. Thank you." She says next. Her tone mimics the sentiment behind her words.He exhibits a small smile and nods instead, because his brain seems to be too distracted by her to even say something articulate.He watches her stare at the bag for a few seconds, giving some little time to be in awe of her presence and how stunningly beautiful she always is. He understands her quite slow movements to gauge the pain in her hand. He lets her get the food as a way to acknowledge that she is still an independent person. He just happens to assist her more because of his inevitable worry.His phone started buzzing which made him snap out of his small bubble. He gives Gwen an apologetic look before going into his office to answer the call."Mr. Shelton? Hello. It's me, your lawyer. I'm just calling to remind you about our hearing by 1 pm."
Shit. That almost slipped my mind.
"Yeah," he replies. "I'll be there.""Don't worry, Blake. She is not going to take the company from you." His lawyer reassures before saying his goodbyes and eventually cuts the line.He takes a deep breath to ease the anxious feelings resurfacing. He never even thought this would come after him even if things have already been over for more than a year.He never even considered proposing to her despite his desperate attempts to keep the relationship intact. Why the hell would she even have a right in this in the first place? Blake gets everything he needs from his desk and went back to Gwen's. He quickly thought about his schedule of picking her up and dropping her off, so she needs a heads-up, but he is not about to drag her into this mess."Gwen?" he says slowly and softly so that he wouldn't startle her."Oh hi, Blake." She was beaming, and he momentarily forgets what was reminded of him in the call. "You want to eat with me?""I can't," he responds, almost sounding defeated and trying his best to keep his composure. "Have to go somewhere. Um, wait for me later?""I don't want to intervene with your errands. It's okay," she instantly utters back. The understanding look that follows is something that almost swept him off his feet."It'll be done by that time." He recovers just in time to get that remark in. "I promise I'll be here.""Okay," she settles, keeping that warm and gentle tone. "Drive safe."He appreciates that little reminder but doesn't verbalize it. He gestures for her to keep eating before excusing himself out of the brief exchange they had even if every fiber of his being just wanted to stay there with her. At least, there will be some silver lining in his day after this hearing gets done and over with. He desperately hopes it's the first and last.---His leg was bouncing up and down underneath the table as a way to translate the nerves he was feeling. He keeps going back to the thought of picking up Gwen later to ensure that his sanity is still in check.He thought he would be done with her the moment he cuts off all ties. He shouldn't have been complacent that it has been more than a year.The after-effect of that manifested in how he acts today in all honestly. Still, his life would have been more peaceful if he didn't have to deal with her ever again."Let's get started." He hears the judge announce. He is genuinely grateful that he was spared of the moment to watch her walk in a while ago. His gaze remains fixed on the front to keep his cool.Blake is too focused on trying to get it together that he misses the judge iterating all the ground rules for everyone to follow. Once the judge was done, Mr. Thompson quickly stood up and announced his case."Your Honor, members of the jury, I'm Atty. Thompson. We intend to prove that Mr. Shelton is incapable of solely managing Shelton Enterprises. I'd like to call on my witness, Ms. Lambert."He ultimately has no choice because the witness stand is situated in front of him. He watches Miranda confidently walk her way there. She looks back at him briefly, and he sees her malicious smile, making him uncomfortable that he immediately looks away.He can already feel his hands trembling underneath the table as they are resting above his thigh. He tries his best to ignore it to get through this hearing."Ms. Lambert, I'm going to go straight to the point here. Why do you think Mr. Shelton is incapable of handling a big and growing company like Shelton Enterprises."Up to now, he cannot comprehend why she would have to go after him this way. Back when she was in the company, she barely showed any interest and didn't even take her job seriously. He's not after the status that comes with owning Shelton Enterprises, but he just thinks their notion is irrational that's why they decided to contest no matter how much trauma flashes back in his head every time he's in the same room with Miranda."Simple. Blake Shelton is an unstable guy. He lets his emotions get the best of him. I'm just concerned he's making the wrong decisions for the company." He hears those specific set of words, that he curses upon himself almost daily, once again, and she nailed the delivery similar to how she would shove that on his face back when they were together."So, you think he has a mental condition, Ms. Lambert?" Her attorney continues. The question has him shocked because he never knew they would go this far to prove whatever premise they were trying to imply."Of course," Miranda answers with arrogance. "He's my ex, so I know him. He has these outbursts that are just too concerning. I think handling a company is too much for him. The employees might just suffer because he is always prone to making mistakes."His heart rate fastens. Every insecurity that surfaced during the time of their relationship was the exact weapons she's using against him. It hits him instantly that this act they were putting on was a way for her to gain back the control that Miranda has always wanted when it comes to him. At the time, he was dumb enough to surrender to that, thinking he'll be enough. Based on the turn of events, he's aware that it wasn't the case.It wasn't long until Miranda's attorney approached the judge to give the file of what he assumes to be the declaration of whatever mental condition they're accusing him of.He doesn't immediately realize that it was his time to speak. His palms are already sweaty, and he is quite scared that he can't keep his composure to answer his lawyer's questions properly."Your Honor, I would like to contest that their statements are far from the truth. I'd like to call my client, Mr. Shelton, to the witness stand." As he registers the voice of his lawyer, he almost couldn't properly make out what he said, but he stands up and tries his best to walk properly.Blake just tries not to look at the other people who were there to ease the anxiousness he feels inside. He establishes eye contact with his lawyer and does his best to control the fear from manifesting in his eyes."Mr. Shelton, is it true that you've had outbursts as they have claimed?" He appreciates the treading that his lawyer did when the question was thrown. He has no choice but to try and utter something. He'll just have to hope for the best that his voice isn't as shaky as his hands."Yes. But I never let those control my decisions." He hears a snicker that is most likely from Miranda. His shaking was already becoming so bad that his bottom lip started to tremble."How can you attest that this is true?" He knows that his lawyer is trying to help him prove that the other party's claims were wrong by giving him a chance to explain himself. He just hopes he won't blow it."Shelton Enterprises is steadily growing," he thinks back to the projects that he and Gwen have worked on. The thought of her helped him calm down a bit and find some of that confidence. "We landed projects that helped us expand. I can handle my business."He knows Gwen would be proud that he is trying his best to be more open to the situation. Although he has occasional stutters, he tries not to let it get to his head so much even if Miranda's face seemed like she is waiting for an opportunity to ruin his momentum."Your Honor, I have evidence of the deals they have landed, as well as my client's professional credentials, in this folder. It proves that Mr. Shelton is qualified enough to handle a big company. I have tests as well that proves he has no mental condition. Permission to approach the table?"As the judge flips through the pages, she gestures for Miranda's lawyer to be the one to ask him next. His nerves make a comeback because he knows this Thompson guy will not take it easy on him."Mr. Shelton, you want to know why we filed this case? It's because of the near downfall of your company more than a year ago."He felt his heart drop at that. It's like his mind went blank, and he had to take short breaths to compensate for the raging feelings that emerged in his chest."Care to explain that one? Ms. Lambert has shared with me that your personal matters interfered with the company which is why it lost a huge deal. Isn't it a basic work ethic to separate work and personal matters because it could lead to a drastic turn of events like that one?" The lawyer was firing one shot after the other, and he sat frozen, almost on the verge of losing it.Despite what his colleagues reassured way back then, he always felt like everything was his fault because he was the one who brought Miranda to the company. Even if she was the reason they lost the deal because she slept with the client and broke the client's heart right after, he feels like he lacked in being a good partner which is why it all led to that."Your Honor, this lawyer is harassing Mr. Shelton. He is too near the witness stand." He vaguely hears his lawyer step in for him.Thankfully, Mr. Thompson steps farther away from him but continues to press him regarding his previous question. The confidence he gained a while ago has completely faltered as quickly as it came to him. His entire being was already shaking that he tries his best not to make it too obvious."See?" Miranda carelessly interrupts. "Blake can't even speak for himself because it's true. He's weak. He can't be enough for the things he wishes he could be."His gaze abruptly goes to her, and he recognizes that smirk. It was as if she had the situation in the palm of her hand. "You are never enough, Blake. It's why you fail. You can't keep things for the life of you. Even if you desperately try to portray that things are doing good now, it doesn't mean you didn't fucked up before."With that, he completely shuts down as he feels his throat tighten. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat and prevent any tears from forming in his eyes. He has to keep it together. He has to get through this hearing. He just has to make it."Your Honor, I have a written and signed statement by my client regarding the situation that the other party is referring to. It includes an old memo." He can never thank his lawyer enough for the attempt at damage control.The rest of the hearing went by a blur. The last thing he is fully aware of is that he didn't talk anymore. He doesn't know how his lawyer did it, but he knows he has to look for a new one because he's probably had enough of him.Blake's face strictly remained neutral. His mind was almost blank. He was still shaking but attempts to remain still as much as he could while he stares at evidently nothing.The only way for him to find out that the hearing is over was when he was nudged by his lawyer. He got startled out of his frozen stance that he immediately switched gears to pretend as if none of the previous moments took place."Don't worry. We got this under control. They'll review the evidence we provided." He doesn't show any reaction to that since he is more determined to keep everything bottled in."I'll contact you as soon as I get the details of the second and final hearing." He doesn't have the time to correctly determine the tone of his lawyer, but it wasn't loud or stiff for him to consider it angry. Second... He barely survived this first one, so he has no idea what strategy to follow to get through that second hearing.He thinks he nodded. He's not sure anymore, but he tries to be mentally present at the moment he shook hands with his lawyer, and slowly stood up to leave the courtroom.Blake allots most of his remaining energy into setting himself straight because he knows that he has to make sure he is still intact to pick up Gwen from the office and drive her home safely.---He doesn't know how he got there in one piece, but he did. He looked at his phone to check if Gwen has been waiting long. He can't even recall what time the hearing ended, so he just gives up and pushes the car door open.The next thing he registers is the elevator's ding, indicating that he's reached the floor he wants to.When he enters the office, only a handful of people were left, busy typing on their laptops. He looks around in case Kelly or Luke was there. He realizes that they are gone, so he feels a little more at ease, knowing that he doesn't have to answer the question of how the hearing went for today.He takes a deep breath as he approaches Gwen's desk, in an attempt to keep his composure. He stops once he got to the specific spot by her side and takes his time to announce his arrival so that he can prevent any shaky statements from his end."Oh, Blake. Hi! You're there." She seems to beat him to it, and he is glad to know that her day seemed to have gone well, basing on the beautiful smile displayed on her features.He tries with a small smile and little wave to respond to that. Her gaze didn't last long on him because she looks like she is closing her laptop. "Did you wait long?" he asks next. The words came quite slow, but he ignores any implications that his mind thought of."No. I didn't," she sweetly replies. It's like she was oblivious to the tone of her statement which made her look adorable. "I actually had some extra time to finish some revisions and review the reports. At least, these can move forward tomorrow, so I don't mind at all."The way she carried on to share with him had his small smile involuntarily be a bit bigger as he momentarily forgets the events from this afternoon. His heart skips a beat when he sees her smile, and his other hand is shaking for a different reason now."That's good," he goes for that instead, knowing that she deserves a response from him. "You should rest now. I'll take you home." He stutters in the middle of it and temporarily panics because she might have noticed it. He thanks the heavens right after when the short silence a few seconds later indicates that she didn't point it out."I'm all good to go, Blake." She announces, and as if on cue, he grabs her bag for him to carry and offers his arm out, so she can hold onto him for balance.He lets her take her time as they travel from the 35th floor to the parking area. There are times where she'd almost stumble, and the apologies are quick to come out of her mouth. He reassures her every time that she doesn't have to.His patience never wavers even when he escorts her into his truck. He tries to push away any thoughts about the hearing earlier that seem to resurface because he thinks it is more important to pay close attention to what Gwen needs.The drive to her home is almost silent except for the faint sounds from the radio. He looks over to Gwen every now and then, to see if she wants anything. He grips the steering wheel a little tight because of the nerves. Some snippets of what he can remember from the afternoon's events were persistent to come back to his head.
Not now. I can't.
Once they slowly stop because they've arrived at Gwen's house, he faces her and observes while she looks outside. Eventually, she makes eye contact with him, which gave him an opportunity to throw a question."Are you okay?" He checks in with her. The smile she exhibits next pulls so many heartstrings. It almost convinced him to break, but he doesn't."Yeah. I'm thinking of removing the bandages on my hand. I think it's all left to bruises." She examines her hand and rotates it to get a proper look."That's good. It's healing," he says."I'm super thankful for all of your help, Blake. It means a lot." The soft look she expresses could make his heart melt on the spot."A-anything for you." He didn't mean to let that slip, but it was already out. "I'll help you out." He recovers and swiftly made his way out of the car.He opens the door for her. And while waiting for her to get out, he grabs her bag from the backseat and rapidly offers his arm out again for her. After all this time, she seemed to be so shocked by his chivalry. He knows she deserves nothing less. The thought of her not experiencing this often always hurts him when it crosses his mind."You're making my life easier these days. Seriously, thank you." Gwen sheepishly tells him right after he places her bag on a specific table near the stairs."I promised I'd do better." He looks at her, and he knows that she recalled what he said that one morning. He is quite scared of her reaction, but with the way her face beams, it's like he forgot about the world around him when he keeps his eyes on her.
He can't be enough for the things he wishes he could be.
You can't keep things for the life of you.
He wants to be furious at the timing of those words resurfacing in his head. He wishes it was just something he made up to beat himself with. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.His expression must have instantly shifted to something unpleasant in front of Gwen because the next thing he hears is her worrisome tone."Blake?" She calls out. He panics because he doesn't mean to ruin the moment. He fidgets with his leg as a response to that and averts his gaze away from her."I'm sorry," he blurts out, unable to control the fear in his voice."Blake, I'm here." She gently conveys. He sees her trying to stand up in his peripheral, and he springs into action."Don't stand. Your leg," he raps, catching his breath right after because his chest started to pound."I'm okay. But I don't think you are." She points out, and he feels too exposed."It doesn't matter.""Yes, it does," she counters."You don't deserve a mess." That was meant to be a thought. His eyes widen when he realized that it was mentioned out loud."Why is it so hard for you to let people care about you? You don't seem to have a problem with showing that to me. Why can't I do the same for you?" She wasn't particularly mad, but she said all the right words that left him speechless and frozen on his feet.The silence that follows is quite maddening on his end. Even now, Gwen patiently waits for his answer. She doesn't press but sits there with her full attention on him. He doesn't have to look at her to know because he can feel her eyes on him."It's not worth it." I'm not worth it. It's what he doesn't say. He almost felt his voice crack, but he wins the battle of control in the meantime."Bullshit, Blake." The intensity of her words made him whip his gaze to her. He reviews her stance, and she looks so determined to prove him wrong.Even if he was the one standing up and she is the one sitting down, her presence is dominating the room. He can feel it in the goosebumps that erupt from his arms."Whoever made you believe that can't see how much of a good heart you actually have," she confesses with confidence despite the soft sentiment behind her words."Don't believe in something that isn't real." He spits, the anger not directed towards her, but it ended up translating via that statement."I know it's real. I've seen it." He doesn't immediately notice her attempt to stand up and go nearer to him. She challenges him with her demeanor. Gwen has a smaller figure between the two of them, but she looked more intimidating at this moment."I hurt you." Because I love you and I don’t want to drag you into my mess. "That's not someone with a good heart." Initially, his arms were crossed, but now they are settled on his side to get a more proper distance between them without anything in the way."It's not your fault that people made you feel like what you feel doesn't matter." It catches him off guard because she seems to have an idea. The slightly perked-up tone of hers went down to something gentle and more understanding. But from where did she—"It's always my fault." The inevitable crack on his voice came which made him look away from her with such force. Silence re-emerges after that. He was about to fall into a downward spiral of how wrong this is because he is dragging Gwen into his messy life when he felt Gwen's hand intertwine with his."I'm here, Blake." She caresses his hand, and he feels his shoulders relax. He didn't even notice that he felt tense in the first place."I'm too much." He says out of nowhere as if it was someone who slapped it to his face before."You're not. You could never." Her response made him look at her again.This time around he could never get his eyes off of hers. He feels extremely vulnerable and scared at this moment, not at her but at himself. It's like, in the back of his head, he knows she will never judge him. He felt... safe.When he sees the care in those stunning hazel brown eyes, his control slips as he felt his chest was close to bursting, overwhelmed with all the emotions his heart wanted to feel all at the same time.None of them are completely sure who made the first move, but the next thing he knows is that his lips were in contact with hers.The sensations he felt pulled him back to reality as he expressed everything he couldn't say to her to every kiss he returned.His hands have a mind of their own since they are all over her back, caressing her and making sure she feels alright and comfortable. He tries not to tighten his grip on her so much, to give her a way out in case she realizes that it's not him who she wants.Still, he can't help it. He holds her like she is the only thing he wants to keep forever. His hold on her waist turns into a hug as if he wants to protect her from anything that can harm her physically and emotionally.His kisses alternated from soft and gentle to hard and passionate, not minding at this moment that he was laying out a lot of things to her. It's a way for her to know how much he makes her feel, how much she can calm him down, and how much his heart can somersault with every minute he spends with her.Even when they briefly stopped to catch their breath, he lingers on her lips, not wanting to break the contact yet. He presses his forehead against hers and keeps his eyes closed to prevent any tears that could possibly fall down.He lets her weight lean on him to make sure her legs won't hurt in the long run. He keeps holding her like it's the only thing that matters the most to him right now.It wasn't long until his lips are back on hers. Kissing her seemed to be what felt right at this moment. When his mind was close to being rational again, he briefly becomes scared that she will pull away and get mad at him. But when he felt her arms go around his neck, those previous thoughts quickly evaporate. And the one thing that comes to his mind instantly after was how much he wanted to show her that she means the world to him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
She never knew it could feel like this.
Nothing felt more right than being engulfed in his arms with her lips pressed against his.
So many things were felt in that exact moment. She was ready to acknowledge and surrender to them. He was trying his best to do right by her while she was falling. Gwen knew deep down in her mind that the moment it'll hit her will come sooner rather than later.
With everything he gives her, she forgot about the world around her for a second.
They had to inevitably pull away because they had to catch their breaths. And Blake was worried that she will strain her foot from standing too long, despite Gwen leaning towards him for support.
She kept her eyes on him as they both took deep breaths. This time around, he kept his gaze on hers. He let her see him this close. It was something she was robbed of from their first kiss.
The next thing she does is lean her temple against one of his shoulders, not ready to pull out of his embrace and be away from his touch in general.
"Did I-" he pauses for a few seconds, but her patience doesn't waver. She shows it by caressing his back. "Did I go too far?" He treads shakily but gently.
She knows he is trying to stick to his promise of doing better for her. She acknowledges all of his efforts in the past few days. There weren't any open forums apart from the morning after her accident, but he tries his best not to hide from her. She does her part and won't ever make him feel like he doesn't matter or she is judging him.
It does certain things to her because the amount of effort he puts in still catches her off guard. Seeing him burst like this sort of surprised her, but it doesn't mean she didn't want it.
"No, you didn't." She replies softly. The way he is more focused on making sure she was comfortable makes her feel relieved that he has no other intention than to express what he couldn't to a kiss. There are no expectations or anything of some sort.
She needed that kiss, no matter how unusual things were between them, and she likes to think that he needed that too.
"Do you want to rest?" He shyly says next.
"Yeah. I think that's nice." She moves her head so that she is back to being face-to-face with him. "I also think you need that too because you had a long day."
She has no idea what happened that made him shift his expression from caring so much about her to something as if he remembered something traumatic. She won't push the details out of him. She can wait, but she is not letting him go through this alone.
"C-can I?" He stutters and, eventually, falls silent like he is scared she will say no.
She immediately answers so she can reassure him. "Yes. You can stay. I don't like the idea of you being alone and going through whatever is happening."
He opens his mouth, and she can exactly make out the moment he's trying to organize his thoughts, so he could say something to her. The thing is, Blake's expression becomes defeated, and he closes his mouth. It was like he ended up with nothing articulate.
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything right now. Let yourself feel it and process it. I'll be here."
She felt his forehead lean against hers as if that was his way of thanking her. It was further confirmed when she feels his little squeeze since they were still entangled in each other's arms.
---Mornings aren't always her thing, yet she stirs awake. The moment her eyes open, she is met with the clock on the side table, indicating that it's 7 in the morning already. She is aware of Blake's presence on her bed, so she tries not to make any disturbing noises and carefully shifts to her other side to see him.He remains fast asleep while his arm was draped all the way to her pillow.She easily recalls that he is fine sleeping on the couch so that she has her own space. It makes her appreciate his respect for her, but she also likes that he didn't confirm twice when she said that he is allowed to sleep with her.He kept his distance. Although she wanted to be held by him badly, she sees the fear on his face about his possible tossing and turning.At the early times of the night, she felt it. Later on, he calmed down, especially when his arm was draped across the pillows.Now, she observes him and is eternally grateful that he looks so peaceful while resting. It's not always a familiar occasion to see him like this because, normally, he is nervous and scared, sometimes tense.This is a side she's always wanted to see from him. She's glad she has the opportunity now even if it's for a little while.In a bold move, she moves closer to him and snuggles against his side. She instantly feels his warmth. Her body's first response was to relax and melt against him. Initially, she is a little hesitant because it might wake him up. Then, she feels the arm that was laid on the pillows encapsulate her into a cradle position.She pushes any other thoughts away that can ruin this for her and focuses on being in the moment. She listens to his gentle breaths and feels his warm touch. It was so comforting on her end, that she wishes it could always be like this.She tries to go back to sleep but was unsuccessful. Instead, she carefully lifts her head to get to admire him and gently lays her jaw against his chest. When he doesn't flinch at the movement, the nerves that briefly rises escape quickly.His features remain calm, and she can't help but catch sight of his subtle attractiveness. She has always noticed this before. Though now, she gets to memorize every bit of his features since she has the time.Gwen senses his hand move a little bit. It was an attempt to pull her even closer, and her heart almost flutters at that.As much as it feels unreal to have someone in her life who is willing to give her so much without expecting anything in return, her heart breaks for the man right beside her.It's like he's trying to beat himself up that he doesn't deserve love. Like hell, she is going to let him believe that for one more second. She wants to show him that he isn't too much. He won't ever be because he is more than enough.She just wants him to realize that, especially because those specific word choices are just cruel. Someone must have said that to him before. A pang of sadness hits her, knowing he had to live with that notion of himself for a while.As long as he is with her, she is making sure he won't feel that way.She shifts back to her initial position and keeps herself snuggled against him. For the time being, she plays with the button of his shirt that she could reach. She doesn't attempt to unbutton them, but she figures that she needs that little distraction to prevent any space-outs.His hand caressing her side more frequently catches her attention. Once she hears him make some sounds that indicate he's waking up, she props up on her elbow, so she could watch the moment he opens his eyes.She should've braced herself because they had a brighter shade of blue as it blinks open. If she didn't gain some control immediately, he would've heard her breath hitch."Good morning." His voice was a little huskier, but it remains gentle. God. "Good morning," her lips form a grin almost unknowingly. "Did you sleep well?" She got a little bit conscious because he might have stirred awake due to her attempt to be closer to him.He nods slowly since he's quite groggy. "You?" He almost whispers."I did," she responds honestly. "I wanted to be close to you, so I moved to your arms. I hope you don't mind." She doesn't know why she is saying this, but the words were out before she could even think."Don't mind." She feels him delicately squeeze her side, and it affirms his statement. "Are you-" His tone was of concern. Though, he cuts himself off to look at her arms. He is probably checking if she was laying on her injured arm. She watches him look over his chest to find it there, which visibly relieves him.When she feels her arm getting a little strained, she tried to lay on his chest again. Before she could do that, Blake sits up, being extra vigilant with her arm. He tugs her gently, and she couldn't control her smile when she realized that he still wants the closeness.She complies but became surprised to see when he carefully (almost) manhandles her to sit on his lap, facing him. He caresses her sides slowly to see if she will pull away. What she does is to move a little bit closer to him, so she could cling each of her arms against his. It's her way of reassuring him that everything is okay for her."Gwen," he lowly calls out. She focuses on him, intending to listen wholeheartedly. He averts his gaze away from her briefly as if he is processing something. She doesn't mind because she knows his mind is still adjusting to waking up."You make me feel a lot," he finally says. It was shaky, but she won't ever hold that against him. "It scares me."She definitely has similar sentiments. She nods at that with a genuine small smile, hoping the message gets through. Though, she knows they have different takes on it, so she waits for his pending explanation.The silence took a while, but she encourages him with a short stroke of her hand on his arm. The goal isn't to push him, but it was to let him know that she is listening."Before," he speaks next. There was a little crack after, and she is not sure if it's due to his emotions or grogginess. Nevertheless, he tries again. "Someone said," she begins to notice that one of his arms was shaking, and it dawns on her that he's saying something about his past. "I'm too much with my feelings."Just like that, the shock on her face emerges. How can someone say this to him? She doesn't know the context yet, but she knows for sure that everyone has a right to whatever they're feeling. It only differs in how they respond to it. Nonetheless, no one is ever in the position to invalidate someone else's feelings.She quickly understands why he has problems opening up since he's been told that, for some person, it is too much."I suffocate people with them," he utters next. It was barely a whisper, but because she is close, she can still hear it. "It's why they leave. 'Cause I let it get the best of me."She abruptly stops caressing his arm as she freezes. "I'm sure that his last relationship fucked him up so bad that he became this closed-off guy." Those words from the dinner with Adam replay on her brain. She puts the pieces together, and the realization almost swept her off her feet. There's probably something deeper to it, but this new information is already heartbreaking for her."That was confirmed when they'd actually leave you," she finishes for him since he falls silent. Gwen notices that he's looking down on his lap as he timidly nods.She couldn't do anything but hug him, so she did exactly that. She knows he got surprised by the gesture, but his arms were quick to go around her."Yesterday," He begins again although his voice was shaky, so he stopped for a second. She shifts her head to get to look at him but not letting go of the hug. "Went to a hearing with my ex." Her eyes widened with curiosity. "She said I can't run the company because-" His voice cracked again, and she had to pull away from the hug out of concern, wanting to see his expressions. She won't push him if it's getting too much on his end.All she saw is his determination to tell her despite the fear in his eyes. She gently grips his arm, in hopes of comforting him. He briefly looks at her hand and glances back at her with a small smile. It took a while, but he speaks up again. "Because I let my emotions get the best of me."That confuses her briefly. Even if Blake had that one time where he wanted her not to go to San Francisco because of his personal feelings towards Jason, that's different. Shelton Enterprises is doing great at the moment.She snaps out of it and brings her full attention to him again. She takes her time as she replays his statement altogether in her mind. Once she determines the embarrassment bearing on his face, the realization of this being a more personal attack hits her harder. She briefly looked to the wall behind him to let herself feel the shock, then she's back to Blake again."So when you said yesterday that you're too much and combined with the hearing, it's why you almost le-" She stops herself and observes how he reacts to her getting the puzzle pieces together. When he nods, everything was affirmed."Oh, Blake," she sadly expresses then proceeds to hug him again. "Is that why you close off every time you almost opened up to me before? Because you think it's too much for me?" Her words were gentle as she becomes curious about the previous interactions."Y-yes." He stammers but continues with his answer. She squeezes him a little tighter to let her know that she appreciates his effort when he has the option to nod."Blake," she softly calls next. She felt guilty that their embrace wasn't long enough, so each of her hands holds his. She brings her gaze to them while she caresses them, then she establishes eye contact with him again. "Thank you for opening up to me. I know this is a lot for you, so I just want to let you know that all of your efforts are and will be always be appreciated."She remains consistent with her tone and keeps her eyes on him to make sure her words will resonate. "I also want to let you know that you are not too much for me. It's always worth it to know how you feel. We're both humans here. You deserve to feel cared for as much as you believe that I do."Like one of her hands has a mind of its own, it goes up to his cheek to let her thumb tenderly stroke it. Her heart almost somersaults when he leans against her touch and keeps his eyes on her. His bottom lip is quivering, but she won't point it out. His hand that was still holding hers slowly frees itself, and it went to her waist to hold her and pull her even closer.It wasn't long until she was back to hugging him again. She felt him kiss her temple, and she involuntarily relaxes at the gesture. "Gwen, thank you." He raspily speaks next. This sharing is surely emotional on his end, so she understands the possible effect on his voice or the slight tremble she feels on his thighs.He squeezed her a little bit, and she knows that it already says a lot more things than words ever could on his end. Every now and then, he'd kiss her temple. She thinks he's doing it unconsciously, but she won't ever mind. She couldn't think of anything but snuggle onto him even more. The concept of personal space was forgotten between the both of them in this circumstance."Are you going to work?" He mumbles against her hair after a few minutes of silence and just clinging to each other. She doesn't hold it against him when he tries to switch topics for now. It could be a subtle coping mechanism since she has some tendencies too.She saw a slightly deeper side of him this morning. She won't ever disregard that because it is always progress, no matter how slow or fast the pacing is."I'm actually on a day off today. My sister-in-law and I will be looking at the new car I found as a replacement." She feels him nod, and she knows that it's his way of assuring her that he is also listening."You both enjoy." He softly adds, and she had to pull away to get a good look at him."Will you be okay?" Concern laces her tone. "You can come with us if you want.""S'okay," he reassures while he skims her arms with such ease. They haven't touched each other this much before, and she is only beginning to notice how much it actually affects her (in a good way)."You both bond," he drawls slowly. As much as she is worried that he could be going through some things alone, she holds his hand again to let her know that she trusts him with that.Their foreheads lean against each other in the next seconds. Gwen closes her eyes to savor the moment before her thoughts invade her mind again. She hears him whisper a 'see you on Monday,' then the rest of the morning went by smoothly for them.---"Gwennie?" It was Jen's attempt to pull her back into reality from her probable zone-out. She tries not to make it obvious and brings her gaze to her sister-in-law."Yeah?" She sees Jen's knowing grin, and she does her best not to let it deter her. Her sister-in-law nudges her head towards the vehicle in front of her.She scans the car in front of her. Her heart beating a little fast because it dawns on her now how Blake is suddenly in her mind almost the whole day today. She has to get a grip considering they spent the morning together. Not seeing him for three days straight won't be too much on her end, right?She doesn't actually shake herself off on the thoughts again but forces to focus on the car. She opens her phone, and she checks the picture she saved on her camera roll. She looks back and forth, then she figures that it is the actual car she paid for."Don't worry I checked it already when you were spaced out. It's all good. I promise," Jen whispers while giggling along the way. Of course, she would know that Gwen's mind would be floating a bit. It is quite impossible to disguise herself around Jen. She almost chuckles at the thought."This is the one," Gwen politely calls on the guy who was waiting by the side. He approaches them quickly and lets Gwen sign some of the paperwork."Alright!" The guy excitingly concludes. "We will be delivering this car to your address in the next few days. You get to have the paperwork now, Ma'am."She manages a 'thank you' before the guy leaves them to their own privacy. "Hey, sissy," Jen gently begins. "I'm sorry we couldn't be there in the hospital. We didn't expect any emergency to happen while we took the kids on a short vacation." Jen is holding one of her hands as she expresses her apologies."It's okay. I had someone anyway." She is quick to reassure, and she didn't mean for the latter to slip. Her face was probably a dead giveaway since her sister-in-law is grinning widely."What do you mean? Omg, Gwennie. Is there something you're not telling me?" Jen was practically squealing as they walked to the parking lot. She managed to control the loudness of her voice, but Gwen can feel her cheeks warming up almost instantly."Blake was there. He took care of me." She doesn't know how much she should say, but she thinks that it was a good start."Who is this Blake?" She suddenly remembers Jen's comment about how hot Blake is when they were talking about her new job. She knew her sister-in-law will figure things out quickly. Even if she is nervous, she's also excited to see the realization on her face."He's from work. Well, he's more of like a boss," Gwen hints. The thought of him made her slow down her pace since she became more aware of her left leg's recovery."Wait," Jen stops her briefly and stands in front of her. "Blake Shelton? As in?" Jen gently held Gwen's arms as she asks. The moment she nods, Jen practically exclaimed. "Oh my god! Are you guys-""We're not a thing, Jen." Gwen cuts her off, her voice almost a little shaky. It wasn't because she was scared to admit she is linked to Blake, but the feelings she has at the moment overwhelmed her that she could lose her balance."Okay. I'll take your word for it. But is he hot like I said he is?" They continued walking again, but Jen is determined to get some information out of her."Well," she had to pause because her eyes widened at what she almost could've said.There's no denying that Blake is attractive. She isn't even sure where he stands in all of this. He promises to do better. He cares for her. He handles her with such delicateness that it's so soothing. It doesn't give her the right to directly assume, even if it's quite too late not to think about it a lot."You think he's hot!" She should've known that this is Jen's way of catching her. Gwen just can't control the blush forming on her cheeks or the throbbing inside her chest. She knows she's obvious, and Jen's huge grin had her shaking her head."I personally don't mind, Gwen. I've heard from people I know that he is a nice guy. How are you guys? Assuming you both are friends.""We are friends," she says without hesitation. She knows it fits the criteria, so she has to settle with that now or her heart won't actually calm down. "He has a little struggle of opening up, but we're good." It won't do any harm if she shares a little bit with Jen, but she draws the line herself, in respect for Blake."That is fine. Some people really have a tendency. You do sometimes," Jen points out knowingly. "You're a great human being, Gwen. I'm pretty sure he knows that by now."He has indirectly told her that. It's why he does that pull and tug with her during their first few interactions. Her mind went back to the emotionally filled talk they had this morning. The way he tried his best to let her see him doesn't go unnoticed. She is glad she got to tell him how much he appreciates that.Her thoughts shift to how he held her. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. It was technically their first time being that close to each other, leaving the kiss out of the picture since that is kind of a whole different story if you ask her."You like him," Jen says as a matter of factly. She doesn't immediately realize that they were in Jen's car already. They weren't moving yet, but the moment Gwen buckles in her seatbelt, Jen turns on the engine."Jen," she looks at her sister-in-law with one eyebrow raised. She is nervous that Jen quickly points out things, and it always takes her by surprise. Jen raises both her hands in surrender, the grin not leaving her face, and focuses on the road.They talk about different and random topics in the midst of the ride. Though, her mind always floats back to Blake. She wonders how he is doing now. She is quite sure he is home from work because usually by this time, he'd be waiting for her to be completely settled in her house before leaving her.It dawns on her that it was Blake's first time to stay the night in her place. It was a little detail for her anyways, yet she finds herself almost staring at nothing when she thinks about it."Gwen." She hears her name being gently called out, and it snaps her out of it. She looks at Jen, her gaze fixated on whatever it is that's ahead of them. Her curiosity leads her to do the same.Her heart momentarily stopped at the familiar vehicle parked in front of her house. She was expecting him to be here on Monday in case her car isn't delivered yet. But, Blake is here. Her mood suddenly becomes excited, but she tries to contain it."That's Blake's car," she says out of the blue.She carefully goes out after glancing at Jen. At the same time, Blake comes out too. She walks towards him, and when she follows his curious gaze, she also sees Jen make her way out of her vehicle."Did I come at a-" Blake stammers, and she quickly grasps one of his fingers to reassure him. He briefly establishes eye contact with her before she lets him go with a small smile on her face."I just dropped her off," Jen begins, subtly nudging at her while eliciting a welcoming smile to Blake."Blake," he offers his hand out to shake. The move shocks her, and she can't help but be a little flustered at the sudden interaction. It's not that she is scared they will meet, but Jen's earlier words play in her head once again. Her heart rate quickens that her first reflex is to grab onto Blake."Woah, Gwennie. Are you okay?" Jen reacts fast and places a gentle touch on the arm that wasn't holding onto him."Yeah," her hand doesn't leave Blake's arm. She examines his facial expression, and he doesn't seem to mind. "My leg just shook a little, so I thought I'd lose balance.""Does it hurt?" He can't hold back on his concern, and her appreciation for it jumps too much greater heights. She is glad it's nighttime, so if ever she is blushing, it's hopefully not too obvious."I'm good. I just needed the balance." She reassures gently. He kept his arm out for her, and she won't mind the chance to be close to him."As long as you're all good, is it alright if I go ahead, Gwen?" Jen adds sweetly. "Todd might not handle the mess of the kids," she giggles. "It's good to meet you, Blake."She watches them interact one more time before Jen goes off to give a subtle wink at Gwen. Once Jen's car was not visible in their line of sight anymore, they proceed to her house with Blake patiently escorting her."You need anything?" Blake inquires after she settles on the couch. She shakes her head and pats the spot beside her as a way to tell him he's allowed to sit down."Why did you stop by?" She curiously asks. Her tone stays soft even if her mind wants to focus on how close he is to her."Uh yeah," he stutters, "I um-" He abruptly stops himself and takes a deep breath. It piqued her interest in what he has to say. She takes a peek at his hand and sees his fingers shaking. She has no idea at the moment about what it could mean since her mind is sort of blank.The sudden confidence that arises within her led her to slowly reaching out for his hand to hold. He doesn't hesitate and lets her. She observes how he instantly relaxed at the gesture.A few seconds of silence lingers, and her focus is letting her thumb graze the back of his hand as gently as possible. It's a small gesture for both of them, but she has developed a liking for it."Gwen," he tries again, so she slowly looks up at him. "I'd like to-" he gulps and almost squeezes her hand because of that. She wouldn't mind at all. "If you'd like." His voice became a little shaky, so she doesn't press. She shows him patience like what he does for her.When she feels that the shaking on his hand hasn't subsided, she decides to say something softly. "It's just me, Blake.""You say that as if you're not an amazing woman," he murmurs slowly. The statement has her taken aback. It was loud enough for her to hear it, and that seemed to be the little boost for Blake to just wing it."I'd like to take you on a date," he speaks gently but shyly. She totally stops moving but weirdly feels her chest rise and fall swiftly. She thought she's dreaming, but when he squeezed her hand, she is brought back to reality. "Do you mean that?" It was almost a whisper. Thanks to the proximity, it wasn't hard for both of them. She finds herself moving closer to him, her hand still in his.Despite his nerves, she sees him nod with no hesitation. All of a sudden, her features broke into a genuine smile, and she also surprises herself when she briskly wraps her arms around him in the next moment.He is quick to return the gesture, and she is seconds away from completely relaxing onto Blake once she feels him nuzzle his nose against her hair."You don't know how long I have been waiting for that. You got yourself a yes."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He is nervous.Of course, he is. Blake just asked Gwen Stefani out on a date with him. If it doesn't get any more nerve-racking than that, then he is not sure what is.Not seeing her at work the entire day yesterday made him think about her more frequently than he should. He thought he was going to be acting too fast if he asks her out, but at the same time, he also thought that he shouldn't let an opportunity slip.The moment he was driving to Gwen's house, he just said 'screw it.'His pauses and stutters when it came the time that he was going to ask her didn't really help. Her patience never fails to catch him off guard. He forgot what that felt like although now he is always reminded of and shown that when he is around her.He is surprised that she hasn't had a moment of realization yet as to why he isn't worth it to date. Blake is just glad that, before she could even figure it out or his insecurities would be up and working full time again, he got to take a leap.It's why he's clutching the stem of the bouquet quite hard as he walks towards her doorstep. He is momentarily afraid that she might change her mind or think that he's actually asking too much from her.
Hey. Okay. I have to stop.
He takes a deep breath and loosens his grip on the stem, afraid he'll ruin the flowers before they even reach Gwen. He literally shakes his head, as if it will help get rid of the thoughts. He knows he's stalling when one of his hands lets go of the bouquet and tries to adjust the vest he’s wearing. It's now or never. Come on, Blake. He slowly and gently raises the same hand to knock on the door.It wasn't long until he hears the locks clicking, and it hits him that he is about to be face-to-face with Gwen.The door carefully but swiftly opens, and he is met with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on. His mind goes blank in a split second.He temporarily stops breathing while his eyes never strayed away from her. For some reason, his heart starts beating faster, and he dares to get a good look at her outfit.She is wearing this short black slip dress with matching boots. It captures her shape and accentuates her features perfectly that it took him about a minute to recompose himself and be more prim and proper.
Blake, get it together. You have to take her on the date.
"Hi," he shakily starts. Seriously? He can't hide nor contain whatever reaction he was insinuating, so he may as well clear his throat before he tries again. "You look beautiful."He didn't mean for it to sound so soft, but the moment he sees her features break into a smile, he doesn't think about it any further. He gently hands over the flowers to her. When he felt her hands be quickly in contact with his to receive the bouquet, he was at a loss for words in that very second."These are so pretty, Blake," she sweetly responds, "Thank you."Before he could even utter anything, he almost didn't catch her excusing herself before walking to the kitchen. He takes a short step inside and immediately sees her placing the vase that had the sunflowers on the table by the window.He knows he looks a little creepy when he realizes that his gaze was following her, but it's hard to deny how breathtaking she is. She is the walking image of a strong and elegant woman. His breath almost hitched when she was in arms reach again.He knows he has to get it together, so he attempts to be subtle with his exhale and offers his arm out for her. Blake is still at a loss for words, so he hopes it doesn't mean anything wrong on her end.It's going to take a while to get to their destination, so he checks on her every now and then to see if she is still comfortable. He lets his arm rest on the middle, and his heart skips a beat when he feels her put her arm around him. On reflex, he searches her hand. Once he could grasp it, he holds onto it.That definitely helped with easing his nerves, so he caresses whatever he could reach with his thumb as a way to remind himself that this moment is real.Once they got to a stoplight, he looks over to his side, in an attempt to be more present in the situation. He is quite worried that he is too silent."Are you-" He pauses when it got a little shaky. She quickly gives her full attention to him, and he uses that as a primary motivation to continue with his query. "Are you comfortable?"She beams almost instantly, and that could've easily washed all of his worries away. "Yeah. I am. Just a little nervous though." Her confession by the end caught him off guard. Nonetheless, he mirrors her expression as an appreciation for her honesty."Thought it was just me," he timidly replies then notices that the light turned green. He decides to squeeze Gwen's hand gently to let her know that he is listening to whatever she has to say."Where are you taking me by the way?" He doesn't have to look at her to know that she still has a smile on her face as she asks that question. He is grateful for the slight change of topic and strokes her fingers as an immediate response. He's not about to give her some clues, so he does his best to keep his composure. "You'll see." It's close to a murmur, but the sounds on the radio are soft enough for her to hear him.All he hopes is that she will like the place he is going to take her.As the car comes to a full stop, he hears Gwen's gasp in the next moment. "Oh my god. Mama Cozza's?" She whips her gaze towards him a little too fast that he got concerned if she'll strain her neck. He sees the huge smile on her face, and it was enough to override his previous thoughts. He remembers how excited she got when it came the time that he brought up some pasta in her lunch at work. He took a wild guess and looks up the best Italian restaurants in LA or nearby LA."You like it here?" He can't help but ask. He thinks that he was too showy with his timid stance, but Gwen's demeanor almost clearly indicates that she doesn't mind."Mmhmm. It's one of my favorite restaurants actually." At that, he grins. He briefly nods and proceeds to get out of the car and onto her side.He has made reservations before he picked her up, so everything has been sailing smoothly so far. Once they took their seats, his mind immediately goes to the thought of sitting beside Gwen. He hesitates though since he also wants to consider her personal space.It's only the first date, and he knows he has to tone down being a little clingy. They have already been in each other's arms since yesterday, but he also doesn't want to assume and be complacent with the fact that he automatically has a right to be near her because of that.As if she can read his mind or something, she speaks up. "You don't mind if I seat beside you instead?" His heart almost melted at that although he does all he can to keep his composure."I wanted to ask too," he confesses softly, knowing that she always deserves nothing less than honesty.Blake springs into action and carries his seat to go beside her so that Gwen can remain as comfortably seated as possible. He hasn't forgotten about her leg, and he is not so sure if it is fully recovered. Regardless, he will always prioritize her level of comfort as long as she lets him be around her to actually do that.The ordering part was rather fast since he lets her take the lead on that one. He is not super knowledgeable when it comes to Italian food, and he trusts her to steer him in the right direction on that aspect."Do you go here a lot?" He's not about to leave the conversing part all on her. He promises to try, so no matter how nerve-wracking it can be in the midst of it, he just has to try, for her in the least."Before I moved to New York, my family and I would sometimes stop here for takeout," she shares. Blake carefully shifts his position, so he could face her, intending on listening sincerely. "It's been a while though. Thank you for taking me here."She has always been upfront about her gratitude, and he thinks it's one of the purest things about her. In a bold move, he reaches for her hand again. He intertwines his fingers with hers like he's been doing it for a long time and finds himself staring at their hands for quite a while."C-can you tell me about your life there?" He tenderly asks. He looks up at her like he is asking for permission. He wants to learn more about her for the sole purpose of being able to understand her more. In a low-key kind of way, there's something about her that lights up every time she shares something about her experiences. For him, it's the most precious thing ever."It's not that exciting since I went to New York to study and work mostly. I got accepted into Pratt Institute, so I was so stoked to have an opportunity to study there. As early as my first year, I joined many internships. It was sort of my edge when I had the guts to apply for Lucé. I got looks at the time because I was a fresh grad applying already for a big company."All bias aside, Gwen is really good at her work. He has seen the revisions she did in the designs. There was also a specific project where she did everything herself. He hadn't given feedback yet, but the client already loved it at first glance when they stopped by. There is no denying her skills are on point. It is also a bonus that she is open to learning from the team.He kept silent and nodded intently to encourage her to continue. "My life is literally work and work. I mean I go out to some spots in NYC, but it was kinda rare. I got to certain places because of Lucé, there's that. Then, I flew occasionally to see my family since my work and relationship at that point didn't give me that much time.""When you got back," he murmurs, "how did they-" He cut himself off and resorted to gestures to explain himself. He was a little shy about asking some stuff because he wishes Gwen to open up about what she is comfortable with and on her own terms."They're over the moon, especially Todd and Jen. I got to attend our Sunday cookouts again." Her face had a different type of glow when she talked about her family."Sunday cookouts?""It's basically lunch at my parent's house here in Anaheim. My brother's family and I go there after church." That concept sounds really nice. It's a way to keep the bond with the family. He almost contemplated about his when the waiter arrives with their food and drinks.Once everything was settled, he starts pouring some wine and water on Gwen's glass. She, on the other hand, scooped up some food and carefully transferred it to her plate.It took him a while to realize that Gwen prepared a spoonful of pasta for him. She has her free hand settled a few inches beneath the spoon in case it fell. The gesture caught him off guard, and he couldn't control the small smile that emerged on his face.She blows the food again since he can also see the smoke, indicating it was hot. "Here. Take a bite."He complies, chewing the food with ease because the pasta is soft. As the taste registers, his eyes widen. The aftertaste is also amazing when he swallows. His eyes switched back and forth from Gwen and the pasta. She giggles while he does that. He couldn't help but bite his lower lip, tempted to get some from the serving plate."You know the food is for the both of us, right?" She chuckles and gently nudges him with her arm.That was the pattern for the majority of the dinner. Gwen kept encouraging him to try everything she ordered. Everything was seriously delicious that he thinks he ate too many from the pasta. The pizza's crust was soft too. He had no struggle biting it.As for Gwen, he's so in awe of her especially because he is seeing her in her own element. She guides him around here like it's second nature to her, and he catches himself staring at her a little too long when she's occupied in her own thing.He always encourages her to speak up about anything since he loves to see her talk and express herself. She is always this genuine person that you will love to be around. He likes to believe that she is part of the reason why he finds it much easier to do better."That was good," he comments right after the waiter places the bag with leftover food on their table."I know," she excitingly says while subtly trying to straighten her dress. "It reminded me of how much I love eating here.""We'll come back here then," he addresses softly. There's an underlying promise in his words, and he sees the moment she realizes it.After a while, she is leaning her head against his shoulder. His heart automatically softens at that which led him to lean his too, making sure to be mindful since he doesn't want to mess up her hair.Like it's a need for him, he searches for her hand and finds solace in it as he engulfs hers again. They stay in that position for a few minutes until he finally had the courage to voice out about the next part of their date."Can I take you somewhere?" He slowly asks. He ensures that it wouldn't sound demanding, to give her an option to say no if ever she wants some time to herself. Luckily, he didn't have to worry about that because he felt her nod. Subconsciously, he ended up giving a quick peck on the top of her head.---He drives to the familiar spot, and he knows that look of recognition on her face in his peripheral. He gives her a brief look before turning off the engine and going out of the vehicle."Blake, is this what I think it is?" She inquiries once she got out of his truck. He nods and squeezes her hand in response before rushing to the box to grab a medium-sized bag.There was a confused look on her face, and he just held her hand as a way of telling her that she should trust him. He waits for any response from her, but when she squeezes back, it was his cue to lead the way for her.They walk to the spot where they first 'hung out' during her first day at work. It’s crazy to think that it was nearly six weeks ago. He hasn't been here in a while, the last time being one of the nights after work where he thought a lot about Gwen during the one-month 'space'."The view here is still as pretty as when I first saw it," she confesses. He begins setting the blanket on the grass, and he knew that he caught her by surprise the moment she looks back. He sits down and gently pats the spot beside him. The heartfelt smile she elicits after was undeniably the best view of this night, and perhaps ever.He draws out both of his arms for him to assist Gwen in sitting down. She was wearing a dress, so he is aware that she will be mindful of that. Once she’s settled in, it didn't take long for the concept of personal space to be forgotten, and he doesn't mind at all."Thought I'd bring you to some stargazing after dinner," he proceeds to lay down and patiently waits on her decision. He is eternally grateful that she immediately went for a somewhat cradle position, similar to how they were yesterday morning at her place. He was hesitant at the time because he's not sure how and when to ask if she'd like to be closer to him. He recalls how much of a perfect fit she was in his arms that the memory clouded his thoughts at work.At least now, there was a level of comfort associated with laying with Gwen. He tries to be brave enough to let his hand rest at her back, and he loves how she instantly relaxes at the gesture while she fixates her eyes on the skies above."I remember," he speaks out of the blue, catching her attention. He became shy for a short while, but Gwen's curious and beautiful eyes made him reconsider. "When you came here, your presence meant everything." Back then, he wouldn't have the guts to voice it out to her. Until now, he is quite reluctant. Still, he does his best to push away the impending overthinking tendencies so that he can actually do better for her and by her.He knows she's speechless since it was evident on her face. It makes him feel a little guilty that he didn't express it earlier, but he tries not to think about it too much because at least, he has the chance now.Blake actually felt comfortable that night. He only had the courage to admit it weeks after. Gwen was (is) extremely patient and only intended to give him some company. There were barely any expectations. It's the simplest thing that he's always wanted. He gets it from his friends, but there is just something about Gwen's genuine heart that hits differently."You were patient and considerate," he delicately adds while rubbing his hand up and down her back. He watches her switch positions a little bit until she can bring her head up to look at him. As he stared down at her chocolate brown eyes, he was a goner. He is just hoping and praying that she won't feel his heart beating loudly in his chest.The admission in his head hits him hard. I'm in love with this girl and I have been busy trying to deny it. "You deserve nothing less. You had a bad day," she finally answers. The tone of her voice is a little low, but he can hear it."You-" He abruptly pauses, a little nervous to spit it out. He quickly rethinks his choices, so he goes for it. "You turned it around." He treads, not wanting to overwhelm her with the confession.No matter how nerve-wracking it could be, he keeps his eyes on her as a way of hoping that it would insinuate that he meant every word. He sees that smile again, and it was confirmed. "I'm glad I did that for you, Blake." She sweetly replies.If she only knew how much of an internal battle did he have... The morning after was the exact day he knew he couldn't stay away from her. He wanted to protect her from him, but the thought of saying no to her was more excruciatingly painful, now that he admits it.He has hurt her about twice or thrice in a bunch of moments that took place after that. He regrets it with a burning passion that he wishes he was man enough to do things differently and with more courage."I'm sorry I hurt you," he can't help but reiterate it to her, especially since it crossed his mind again. He vows not to do it, yet he did. It's why he makes a promise to himself to do better because he doesn't want to be the reason for hurting her.He cares about her and loves her so much which is why he can't stand the thought of it. Those specific sets of words hit him hard again, and he doesn't have the time to brace for her response."Blake." She gently calls. "Please don't beat yourself too much about it. Let's leave that behind us, okay? What matters is your trying now."He suddenly is at a loss for words, so he ends up nuzzling his nose carefully against her hair. He had to close his eyes to savor the gesture, and he thanks the heavens that he is given a chance to show Gwen how much he feels for her. Even if some insecure thoughts would rise at inconvenient timings, he's glad he takes the leap even he is scared she will leave him one day.It's something he's willing to risk, just as long as it's for her. She is worth it "Do you." It was a little shaky, so he briefly stops. "Do you wanna go home?"He asks, with no other intention than to make sure that she is still okay with this, but he so badly wants to be with her for as long as the night can take them. The night has been great so far even if his occasional nerves want to make a scene in his head. As he said before, he wants to show her how much she means the world to him. He is a little uncertain how to verbalize that since he is scared he will sound clingy.It's like she read his mind because she took the words out of his mouth. "Can I go with you? I'm not ready to let you go yet." His heart somersaults at that, and as he said, he can't ever say no to her."I'd love that very much," he expresses before kissing the top of her head again. He doesn't know how much she likes or hates that gesture. Though, every time she relievingly exhales after that, he is always reassured that she is okay with it.---It wasn't her first time in his house, so he is not entirely conscious about that. One thing she doesn't know though is that she thought he let her rest in the guest room the night after her accident.He can't actually do that for her, so he settled her in his room that night while he opted to sleep on the couch. He knows he could've slept in his own guest rooms. But, he argued with himself at the time that it could be easier for him to go to the kitchen if he wants to replace the glass of water on the side table every time he came up to check on her.Like he is on autopilot due to this thinking, he places her purse on the coffee table, but his hand never leaves her waist.Once he snaps out of it, he keeps his gaze at her intently. He is instantly mesmerized by the stunning and incredible woman in front of him all over again."Thank you for tonight." She wraps her arms around him like she is a perfect puzzle piece in his embrace. He can't help but inhale her scent again via her hair. He is not actively aware of it yet, but he is getting addicted to it. "It was great.""Glad you like it," he murmurs against her hair while his hands are caressing her sides. The moment is so quiet that he can actually feel her heart beating against his chest. It's the first time he's ever felt that, and suddenly, the atmosphere sort of changed.She pulls away but not completely. His only option is to have all eyes on her, nothing else matters. "Like is an understatement." He pinpoints the moment her pupils dilate as she says that. He knew there and then that the statement had a much deeper meaning to it.He doesn't know when it starts and how it ends, but the next thing his mind registers is his lips crashing against hers.It's like his self-control slipped at that exact second that all he could do was touch her as he wants to make her feel good with his lips. One of his hands went from her waist to her back because he is determined to caress them.He's not about to lie about how tempting her dress is because it hugged her in all the right places, but he attempts at one last aspect of his control. He doesn't want to do anything that'll make her uncomfortable no matter how much he wants to take this to a whole other level.Instead, he opts to give her more with what he can, so he asks permission for entrance once he lets his tongue touch her lips. He brings her closer to him like it's actually possible until he feels his back collide with a wall.All he knows is that she is kissing him, and he wants to kiss her back as much as she would let him. He doesn't know how hard he was gripping her waist, that he becomes conscious and lets his hand stroke her side, similar to what he's doing on her back.They abruptly stop to catch their breaths, but he remains lingering on her lips. He can't get enough of her touch although he remains patient while she takes sharp inhales and exhales to recover from their kiss.Before he knows it, they're back to kissing again. This time, her hands move from his biceps to wrapping around his neck. He took that opportunity to deepen this kiss and let her know via that how much he actually wants to say those three words."Blake, take me upstairs."That made him halt his actions. Though, he doesn't pull away from her. He feels his eyes widen, and he can see the anticipation rising in hers."A-are you sure?" He reconfirms. It was more of a way to know if he actually heard that right. "I don't want to force-""How much do you want me?" She coos, cutting him off, and his resolve weakens. He can't imagine her getting any sexier than this moment right here. It's like he's actually at a loss for words. All he can do is be enamored by her.
More than words could ever let me say.
He realizes that he still can't utter out any articulate sentences, so he lets her bottom collide with his. He hears her gasp, and he knows she figured it out.They make out with each other again while Blake takes her to his bedroom.There was a certain sense of urgency between them that he had to abruptly close the door using his foot. All rational sense must have left his being because he is now more focused on taking her dress off of her.He grabs this chance to feel her while he does so. He is not surprised how much in shape she actually is, but as he momentarily pulled away from the kiss to catch his breath, he has the time to admire her."You're so beautiful." He was so in awe of her that he was taking off the dress much slower. Her reaction to that definitely meant that she wanted the opposite."Blake." She breathes but not long enough because his lips are back on hers again. He feels her unbuttoning his shirt. He doesn't stop her because he'd do anything to make sure she'll keep her hands on him.Once the dress was off, he briefly lets go of her, so she can take off his shirt. He can't not kiss her anymore, so he does exactly that as he laid her gently on his bed. He thinks about her comfort for a second, so he blindly searches for the pillow with his hand then pulls it to settle underneath her head.He proceeds to lower down to her neck, sucking and licking at every spot he can get to. It draws out a series of moans from her which only motivates him more. He gives her a hickey while he takes his time in taking off her bra, and he can tell from her whining that she wants things to go a little faster."Blake, please." She begs. He can't help but smirk when he swiftly pulls off her bra once it was clipped off, and he gave her no time to react before he starts sucking on her breasts."Oh god." He develops a deep liking for her being responsive, so he becomes determined to give her more by swirling his tongue around her nipple. It drew out another delicious moan from her, so he repeats it as many times as he can before he proceeds to the other one."Blake, oh my god." He wants to make sure that this is a good night for her, so he spends just as much time sucking on the other breast as he did with the first one. She was starting to get squirmy that he had to use his weight to pin her down, and he uses his hands to push her knees upward so that her legs would be bent."Easy, baby. Let me make you feel good." He lets go of her breast with a loud pop, and he's not surprised to get another response from her. This time it was a guttural moan. He was caught off guard that his body had an immediate reaction to it as well."Kiss me." She demands, and he smiles at how lost she is. He gives her what she wants while one of his hands gently pulls down her underwear.Her arms go around his neck as she deepens the kiss that he decides to give her some relief and do his task a little faster. "Are you still okay?" He asks briefly after, making sure she still wants this.Words seemed to fail her because she nods and pushes her hips up against him. He could almost laugh at that but goes for giving her mercy and pushes his finger inside of her. He watches her eyes rolls back as she moans again. He is getting addicted to the sounds she makes, so he pushes in another one, remaining careful but giving her the pleasure she wants.She began to move more as a way to get some relief, but his other hand was a master at making sure she stays still as possible. He showers her with kisses on her neck, set on making her feel him everywhere as much as he can.He feels the wetness pool at his hands while he thrusts his fingers in and out of her that he resorts to kissing Gwen to contain his reaction to it. Once he does a come-hither motion with his fingers though, she became the loudest he's heard of tonight."Blake, please. Let me-" She manages, but he suddenly changes his mind and wants to tease her so he pulls out his fingers swiftly but gently."No!" She whines and was committed to moving her hands, so she could get his back on her center. He acts fast and places them on top of her head, then he kisses her again.He moves even faster and goes down on her so he could kiss her inner thigh. She squirms again that he had to firmly place his hands on her hips to keep her still. "Maybe we can get you even wetter." He speaks a little more confidently before his tongue darts out to touch her there. He doesn't call her out when he feels her hands on his hair because he actually liked the sensations that came with it.He alternates between kissing and sucking her center before letting his tongue swirl around it, eating her up like ice cream and making sure she feels nothing but good at everything he is willing to give her.He continues the motion countless times, and she becomes more fidgety that it became trickier to pin her down. He loves this side of her a lot, and he makes a promise in his head that he will do his best to ensure that she forgets about the world around her every time he aims to make her feel good."You're responsive, pretty girl. I like it." He comments before going back to eating her out again. That only seemed to motivate her some more because the sounds she elicits were closely becoming out of control."Blake. It's not gonna take much-" He cuts her off by giving her one long lick, and he can tell that by the added wetness she is close. Even if it goes against every fiber of his being, he abruptly stops, and he could tell she was frustrated."Blake!" She almost screams this time. He chuckles briefly until he realizes that she was clumsily pulling him upwards, trapping him between her legs."You're so mean!" She whines, pulling him down to get a kiss. He gives her mercy while grinding his clothed hips against hers.She pretty much tasted a bit of herself via that kiss, and he thinks that it couldn’t get any hotter than that. "You're so beautiful just like this." He says instead when his hand goes to cup her breast while the other goes to her center to play with her a little more as he attacked her lips once again.She takes a little bit of charge this time around, and he lets her unbuckle his belt. He is caught a little off guard and at the same time, finds her impatience adorable.Her hands move fast, and he is not surprised that everything was all the way off in a matter of seconds. His hand leaves her center as he decides to grind against it. She moans once more while she places her arms around his neck again."Blake, kiss me." He appreciates that request more than he likes to admit and won't ever say no to that. He kisses her a little slower this time to give her something more sensual. He knows she liked it by the way her body became a little fidgety. But when she tries to lock him in between her legs with her knees, he knows she's asking for one thing."Blake, I can't take it anymore. Please." The request uses up every bit of control he has left, so he navigates blindly on the nightstand. She was quick to react and places his hand back down on her waist. "I'm not gonna need it. I want to feel all of you, Blake."The latter part did certain things to his heart that he couldn't help but grant it. "I'll go in slowly. I don't want to hurt you."She nods, and in the next split second, he enters her almost smoothly because of the wetness he caused a few minutes ago. He stops his tracks to let her adjust, and he had the time to catch the moment her eyes rolled back as she accommodates him.The second he feels her nails scratch his back, he starts thrusting in and out of her slowly. The sound of their bodies colliding reminds him of how raw and intimate this moment is, and he can't believe that Gwen gave him the opportunity to share this with him.At that, he makes sure to give everything he's got with every thrust he gives and finds himself satisfied at the responses he gets via her moans. "Gwen." He raspily calls out, and it's like she knew what he needed because they were back to kissing in the next moments.She locks her legs against his back which made him push in even deeper. He couldn't control any of his reactions anymore that he joins her in eliciting the sounds their bodies can enable them to release.He knows she's close when she feels her tighten a little more and the wetness becomes even more apparent. It was confirmed when she verbalized it. "Blake, baby, I'm so clo-" She was cut short when he did a particularly deep thrust that had her eyes rolling back even further. Her mouth was open; though, no sounds were coming out of it. He thinks it's the most gorgeous view to see her this lost.Before he could even voice out that he feels the same way, he senses the second his stomach tightens, indicating he was also getting closer. He decides one more time to let her know that he's in a similar bubble as her. "Gwen-" He feels his throat constrict instantly, the intensity of the moment rendering him speechless.He feels one of her hands press against his hips downward, and the realization hits him extra hard. "Blake, I want it. Come on."That's the last piece of encouragement before he thrusts into her one more time, and they ended up falling off the cliff together.He never thought it could feel this good, but here he is, sharing this experience with Gwen. And he thinks there's no other person he'd rather have this with.He holds her and kisses her through their climax until their bodies couldn't take it anymore. He becomes extra mindful not to put too much of his weight on her and waits for her to recover.Blake nuzzles his nose against her shoulder while he evens out his breathing, and he can feel Gwen doing the same. He gives himself a few minutes to regain his energy. When he finally does, he slowly pulls out of her, making her moan, and his resolve could've crumbled again at that.In a bold move, he gently pulls her to a cuddle position with him. When she exhales and relaxes against him, he doesn't think about it any further. Instead, his arm circled her waist, pulling her even closer. Her frame felt like it is the perfect missing piece all this time. He feels her arm engulf his middle, and he can’t think of any better way to hold her and be entangled to her than this. From now on, as long as she lets him, he wants her to feel safe and secure in his arms, similar to how he finds care and comfort in hers.He kisses the top of her head like it's second nature to him, mindlessly and affectionately murmuring the next words against her hair. "I love you so much."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Like her body has an alarm clock of its own, she stirs awake from another good night's sleep.She stretches her legs a little, aware of the fact that she is still entangled with Blake so she remains extra careful.It dawns on her right there. She is exhausted but in the best way possible.She is not one to take things to the next level as early as the first date, but she has come to realize that nothing ever feels wrong to be a little unconventional, especially with Blake.They have been from the get-go. There’s no exact pacing you’re supposed to follow in this, right?They may have tons of insecurities to navigate through, but it doesn’t take away the fact that there is this sudden safety and comfort that arises in the surroundings every time they’re together.It’s what got the both of them to strip down in their rawest forms, in one way, quite literally last night.She props up her elbow a little bit to get a good look at him. The relaxed look on Blake’s face is something she doesn’t see often, but she finds herself mesmerized by him when she gets the opportunity to.It’s something she always looks forward to seeing when waking up with him.More so, she has never been with a man who is that attentive to her needs (and pretty much a relentless teaser) as Blake is.She is not about to deny when she admits that last night was one of the best nights she’s had. The fact that Blake is there adds so much to that.Gwen senses the rising of his nerves on some occasions. She doesn’t hold it against him because, at some point, she is too.It’s just that he provides her with some level of confidence. Don’t get her wrong. There is that small fear he will shut her out. She knows his fears can get the best of him. Though, his effort to try dismisses that fear quickly.She moves a little to be in a more comfortable position as she intakes all of his bearings, then she realizes that he’s holding her hand while it lays on his stomach.That simple sight does so many things to her heart. It dawns on her again how Blake loves affection as much as she does. After their first round last night, she’s quite scared he’ll pull away since that’s what she’s been used to. But, he catches her off guard when he gently pulled her towards him to calm down from their high last night. She can’t help but melt into his touch like it’s the only thing that made sense in the world at that moment.Blake may not always speak up about how he feels or sometimes cuts himself in the middle, afraid he’s expressing too much, but he always reassures her that her presence is wanted every time he goes for any form of physical affection.It’s refreshing for her, and she loves it wholeheartedly.Speaking of, she knew she wasn’t crazy as those three words register in her mind last night. She heard him speak them out loud, and she recalls her immediate response was to show him how much she feels the same way.She is not sure how he will react to it once he realizes when he wakes up, but she will gladly be with him through it. He always has her back. Despite the rough patches in the beginning, he is there for her one way or another. And, she wants to make sure she shows him that she is too. After everything she’s found out about what he’d been through, it’s long overdue.She adjusts slightly and realizes her bladder’s call for her to go the bathroom.It literally pains her to stray away from his touch especially now that she is almost and practically all over him, contented in the closeness they share, but she really needs to go to the toilet.Gwen moves up a bit to hover closer to his ear. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I have to pee.” She whispers with such gentleness.She places a sweet kiss on his cheek right after and halts her tracks briefly, a little anxious if it’ll wake him up. But when she sees his shoulders further relax into the mattress, her worries have been eased.As much as she hates it, she slowly untangles her hands from his and carefully stands up from the bed so she could walk to the familiar bathroom.The last time she’s here, she was prepping to stay the night after her accident. It wasn’t so long ago, but that piece of information gave her an opportunity to think about the development of her and Blake’s relationship since then. Things are going at a slow pace, and she wouldn’t have it in any other way. She swiftly stands up and goes to the sink to wash her hands after pressing the flush. A wave of relief hits her as she knows she’ll be laying more comfortably with him since her bladder won’t be bothering her anymore.Due to the impending grogginess, she is moving a bit slow. Once his panicked voice registers in her ears, she abruptly stops.“Gwen?” She hears the second time. It sounded more agitated, so she looks around for the towel and clumsily drys her hands with it. Then, she bolts out of the bathroom. The implication behind his tone made her more anxious than she liked to admit.“Blake?” She softly calls out, once she knows she’s in sight on his end.She observes how he whipped his gaze towards her, observing his body language with the way he is gripping the sheets. As they establish eye contact, he visibly relaxes a few seconds after like it’s the one thing he’s very dependent on.She is not sure what caused this reaction from him, but she is determined to find out soon.“I went to the bathroom.” She informs him, remaining gentle with her tone. She doesn’t want to cause any more stress or panic to him, so she approaches the bed without waiting for any answer from Blake.“Are you okay?” He inquires. The words come out slowly and almost in a whisper, but the room is silent enough for her to hear them.She knows it’s an attempt to change the subject. She’ll go along with it until she figures something out. “I am.” Gwen climbs on the bed again, but this time directly on top of Blake.He is in a sitting position now, but it doesn’t stop her from giving in to his touch. She hugs him, literally with all of her, and she feels his hands go straight to her waist. Blake shakily exhales, and it piques her curiosity. Though the kiss she felt at the top of her head could’ve sent her in a trance because of how delicate he did it. His fidgety hands that were caressing her waist pulls her back to the present.“Good morning,” he drawls. She swears that her heart almost somersaults at that, but she recovers. She senses the shy tone there since they were both aware that they haven’t greeted each other yet.“Good morning, cowboy.” She melts into his touch further. His hands are still shaky; she keeps that in mind for later. But at the moment, she nuzzles her nose at the crook of his neck.The nickname may have slipped from her mouth. She didn’t mean to, but so far, none of his reactions insinuated that he didn’t like it.He pulls her closer, yet his fidgeting doesn’t stop. She realizes that his thighs are also in a similar state, and she sees the effort to make it as subtle as possible.She has to try something first. “Blake, kiss me.” She boldly requests. He seems to have no problem following through, so in no time, they’re slotting their lips together like they’re where they should be.His arms go around her back in an attempt to pull her even closer. She deepens the kiss without thinking any further before adjusting her position on his lap.“What are you-“ She hears him ask. He was cut off due to another kiss, then she grinds against his member. The groan that follows almost sent her mind spinning.“I’m seducing you.” She coos before letting one of her hands slide across his chest.His breath hitches at her touch. She is glad that she has this effect on him like what he has on her.“I-I can’t control myself when I’m with you.” He stutters further into the sentence because of her grinding and maybe his nerves, but she knew he managed. His hand had a certain grip on her waist that she can’t figure out yet.“Then don’t.” She breaks away from their kiss, so she could whisper that against his ear. “I thought we agreed there’s no controlling anymore starting last night?”“There wasn’t any agreement. I think.” Blake stammers, yet she is impressed he has the capacity to counterargue. She knows something is up, but this is what she can get him to continue talking. She also doesn’t mind the payback for his teasing last night, so she plays along with it a little longer.“Well then,” she purrs. “Starting now, I want all of you.” Her tone switches to something genuine. “The wild. The sweet. The bad. The broken. The great. The gentleman. All of it.”She knows that statement will hit him differently. It sort of did in the physical aspect because he is now showering her with gentle kisses on her jawline then down to her neck.It’s the delicateness that she can’t get enough of. However, his grip sort of says otherwise because he’s shaking again.As much as it pains her, she pulls away. The worried look in her eyes is very much apparent. “Blake, is something wrong?”She feels him loosen the grip on her waist as if he became conscious about it. He falls silent, and she observes how his chest is starting to rise and fall at a quicker pace.It hits her that he has to calm down first. She knows a panic attack when it’s coming.She says the same request again. “Kiss me.” There was only understanding in her tone, the urge to be as close to him in many ways possible, and the determination to provide him a safe space when he’s around her.Blake complies, giving it to her slow and sweet. It was as if he’s trying to tell her something, and she reciprocates with the same passion. She feels him cupping her cheek with one of his hands in the process.The thumb caressing the skin it can reach makes the moment much more intimate. She couldn’t control the way her toes curled and how she wants to further entangle in his touch.But the moment she feels that even his lips were shaking, she stops, lingering for a few seconds on his lips to give them both some time to recover.“You’re shaking, Blake.” She points out, making sure she sounds patient throughout.When she readjusts her position on his lap, she goes for the hand on her waist and holds it, showing him that she is here for him.She watches him look away briefly to release a shaky exhale. Once he brings his gaze back to her, she sees the fear in his eyes again.The sight almost broke her heart. Before her curiosity could spike, he was stuttering into the words he wants to say.“She never stays the night.” He finally says clearly. At first, there’s a question mark on her face, then she realizes he’s referring to his ex.“Not once?” That small admission almost swept her off her feet, but she doesn’t let it waver her. His free hand is on her side this time when he nods.A few moments of silence follow. She is not sure where to navigate this conversation, but it does give her a little idea as to why he sounded panicked earlier. Some things are quite unclear, but she doesn’t push. It seems that he beat her to it when he tries to start speaking again.“I-I bought her an apartment,” he swallows the lump in his throat before proceeding, “So she has a place to stay when leaving after. She said it was the least I could do since I slept with her.” He almost whispered the last part and said the words slowly like he is embarrassed.That left her speechless. The shock is not shying away from her expression. She feels a tear forming in one of her eyes, hurting for him, and she is not surprised to see him wiping it.“She said.” His voice started to crack, so he stopped himself. She manages to squeeze the hand she’s holding. There’s no other intention than to encourage him and silently tell him he’s safe to open up to her. He is safe with her in general.It was like the motivation he needed since he continued. “If she woke up next to me, she’d feel icky because she’d see me.” How can someone say this to him? She knows with full conviction that he doesn’t deserve those words. It physically pains her that he went through this. “Why did you stay in the relationship?” That’s the only thing she could ask of next. Her question is intended to help him keep going, to show that she is interested in listening to whatever he has to say.His breathing briefly stopped after that. She feels guilty instantly and hugs him gently. She caresses his back as a way to let him know that he can pace this with however he wants or not answer the question at all if it’s too much.“I was desperate to make her stay.” He whispers. He is quite shaky, but he’s trying. She knows that’s what matters, and she comforts him through it.“It’s what I failed to do in the relationship before that.” The way he said that statement made her realize that there is more to that, but for now, she will settle with what he wants to say. She hears him gulp which explains his pause. He’s back to speaking when she moves one of her hands to the front to massage his shoulder. “I wanted her to be secure with me. Gave her everything. Listened to everything she said.” His voice cracked at a few parts, but she doesn’t mind. “B-because she feels secure when I do those.”She adjusts again, so she gets to look at him, the sadness showing in her eyes. She knows he gives his all in a lot of things. The way he takes care of her, how his attentiveness never falters, his patience that blows her mind sometimes, and the effort to go the extra mile in every opportunity. Those are just a few instances.It’s so him to be all that. It breaks her heart that someone took advantage of it yet put it against him.She couldn’t be any more proud of his effort to do all that for her and to lay out some things to her right now. She smiles emphatically for a brief second to show that. She is not quite sure if she verbalized that via a whisper though because her attention is back to him opening up some more.“The last straw was.” She nuzzles against the crook of his neck and nods to let him know she is listening. “When she slept with one of our clients.” She did what? It’s like her heart momentarily stopped at that reveal. “We lost the deal because she played with him. We almost went bankrupt.” He says next. Just by the way he sounded, she knows that this is something triggering for him.She brings her gaze back to him again, cupping his cheeks so she could provide some sort of calming gesture for him via her touch.She also quickly realizes what Adam meant when he said that the company suffered. The explanation behind the hearing and everything that came with it make more sense to her now.“You took all the blame because you were in the relationship with her.” She points out carefully. When she feels him nod, he immediately looks down like he is ashamed.Before she could even bring his gaze back to her, he speaks up again. “Couldn’t be enough for her.” He asserts fearfully. “If I was, she wouldn’t have done that, then we wouldn’t almost go bankrupt. So I blamed myself.”Her heart felt like it shattered to pieces. The tear now makes its way down her cheek at how much he is punishing himself.No one, especially Blake, deserves to be cheated on. And more so, he shouldn’t have to beat himself up with being responsible for the reckless actions of others.He is enough. He does everything he can. Those who can’t acknowledge that have a problem in appreciating the goodness of someone’s heart, let alone Blake’s in this particular circumstance.“Blake,” she begins. It was a way to let him know that she is still here with him. Even if he is quite shaking, she sees the effort to look back up to her. He releases a shaky exhale right in front of her. The realization of him letting her watch every bit of it this time hits her like a truck.One of her hands lets go of his cheeks but places it on his chest, above his heart. The one that remains is back to caressing.His silence doesn’t bother her because she knows he is taking time to process whatever he is feeling, this moment right here, and the fact that he has opened up something major to her.“I’m sorry that happened to you.” She says next, the patience and understanding still evident in the tone.“Don’t apologize, pretty girl.” He replies gradually. She likes the sound of that nickname, but she will get back to him on that.“Blake, none of it is your fault.” She emphasizes, not wanting him to carry this any longer because it’s only eating him up. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that.”She rubs the spot above his heart before she continues. “I’m sure your ex is old enough to know what she is doing. If she can’t appreciate you for the human you are, that’s on her. It’s her that should be accountable for her mistakes, not you.”She stops to take a breath and have the words sink in. It’s about time someone says this to him because he deserves more than all this pain he traps himself with.“I’m sorry this is the mess you deal with.” He responds shamefully. She knows he sort of dodges, but she settles in the fact that she lets him know. If she will have to emphasize this next time and a couple more times, she wouldn’t mind. “I’m sorry if I kinda forced you to have sex with me then drop this bomb on you after.” He brokenly whispers that last part and her heart physically aches every time he thinks he is a burden or too much.She won’t ever make him feel that again, so she is quick to reassure him, not wanting for him to go into that downward spiral that can only be hurtful on his end.“Hey. No.” She tenderly addresses. “Please don’t think that. I wanted you last night. Well, I still do, but you get the point.” She pauses to make sure everything registers.She then pushes his chin up carefully, making sure to have eye contact as she says her next words. “Whatever we did is both our decision. There’s two of us in this, Blake. We give and take.” She lightly squeezes his cheek at that.“We all have baggage, right? That doesn’t make us any less worthy of being loved.” She adds next. He kept his eyes on her, so it motivates her to continue. “Blake, you have shown me that a man can treat me so gently and patiently like you do. You have been nothing but attentive to my needs. I want to show you that you’re worth that too and much more.”The silence lingers for a while, and she watches how Blake processes everything. It’s like everything she said wasn’t something he expected. It hits her then and there that this kind of reaction and reassurance is probably relatively new for him.It’s heartbreaking for her, of course, yet she is dedicated to making sure that won’t be the case from this point forward.“I’m hard to deal with.” He counter-argues, but she won’t let him get away with that this time.“No, Blake.” She states firmly but softheartedly. “You just weren’t loved right. As long as you’re in this, let me show you like how you want to show me.”She lets go of his cheeks and leans her forehead on his instead. He doesn’t respond immediately. Though, he catches her lips in another slow and deep kiss.She takes her time in letting herself feel him. Nothing could possibly beat the out-of-body experience she had with that kiss because of the way her heart fluttered and how her goosebumps erupted all over her body.“I’m in this.” He says with a tad more confidence than he had a while ago. “More than you know.” He whispers the next part delicately, but she hears it loud and clear.“Then, I’m here, Blake.” She kisses him again. Her arms go around his neck as she gets another good look at him. “I’m here.” She reiterates and means it with her whole heart. Gwen hopes it undoubtedly translates.He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and she does the same. She feels him move his hands slowly down her back and onto her waist like they were made to be holding her there.She observes the many emotions that are going through his eyes. It’s like he is expecting her to run away due to that, but she does the opposite.That specific shock on his face is something she expects. Before she knows it, Blake bursts into tears. His head finds its spot on her shoulder to find a sense of stability while he takes the last of walls down, pouring his heart out to her in another raw way.She feels touched that he trusts her enough to let her see him like this. It’s something she doesn’t plan on taking for granted.Her arms engulf him in a hug next, nuzzling her nose against his temple as he cries out the heaviness that he must have been feeling and bottling up for a long time.After opening up a while ago, she is now witnessing Blake cry for the first time.None of it scares her. If anything, she admires his strength more and sees how he is the most caring person underneath a man who had this cold faćade that never fitted his character, to begin with.Putting everything else aside, the step he took with her this morning is progress. No matter how slow, she is and will be with him all the way through it because… she loves him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Something must have shaken him awake because of the way his eyes opened abruptly.His heart rate temporarily goes fast, then he feels something, rather someone, shift beside him.Once he sees Gwen's relaxed figure laying against his chest, he makes it a mission to calm himself down, afraid that his rapid heartbeat might stir her awake.It's like his head can't wrap around the fact that he has the choice to wake up beside her almost every day.He is definitely grateful for that. And no matter how hard he can be to handle sometimes, Gwen's presence in his life keeps him grounded. She reminds him of all the purest things the world has to offer. Even if he is scared of his own capability to keep her, he does everything he can to ensure that Gwen feels loved, safe, and happy with him.They have been dating for more than a month already, so there is a sort of testament to that. The fact that the gorgeous person sleeping next to him got to look at him twice, he realizes that he is the luckiest guy to have her.He just wishes that he wasn't stupid enough to have almost lost that in the beginning. He felt the exact moment his body tensed when that thought crosses his mind again. What boggles his mind is how Gwen never gets tired of reassuring him that they are past that.Blake meant it with his whole heart when he said he wanted to do better. He has been trying to be more open with her. He has told her a few details about himself in some of their conversations after work or when they'd go out.Though most of the time, there's just something about being around her that makes it easier for him lately. After he broke down in the morning after the first night they slept together, he had never felt safer. He thought it was too much for her when he broke down, but the way she was with him through it brought something soothing to his heart after he let out those emotions.The thing is, she made sure he never felt weak for wearing his feelings on his sleeves. It hit him hard that time how long it has been since he let other people see him.She appreciated his vulnerability and her goodness jumped out, even more, when he basked in her comfort like it's the only thing that mattered in this world.He was always meant to find solace in her presence, and he feels blessed to have met Gwen even if he sometimes feels like he doesn't deserve her.Well, there are still times where he'd hold himself back. But, he tries to do some pep talk with himself to make sure that it's not an everyday occasion.Even if it has only been more than a month, he is still getting used to having her around, and it's not like he has plans of ever letting her go. Now that'd be 10 times more stupid. As long as he has the opportunity to have her in his arms, he'll always take time to thank the stars above for having an amazing woman in his life.All he has to do is be the man he knows she deserves. He loves her, so of course, that's the plan.Gwen shifted again, and that brought him back to reality. He savors the moment to observe her. With the way she stretched her limbs, he knows she is about to wake up.It's always a sight to see when he sees those chocolate brown eyes fresh from dreaming. Blake is not about to let that pass ever.When she elicits a groan, he can't help but plant a kiss at the top of her head. That seemed to make her open her eyes completely."Good morning." Her voice is a little hoarse. He doesn't mind because it always helps in reminding him that this moment is real. She is here, waking up next to him, then the most natural thing in the world for him now engulfs his being: loving her.The view along with his realizations rendered him speechless. His feasible response was to give her another kiss. This time, he gave a slow and sweet one on her lips. It's a place he finds such comfort in, coming second to her arms."I like it when I wake up to that," she shares. He silently watches Gwen readjust herself, so she could remain snuggled onto him while maintaining eye contact.He can't control the smile that forms on his face, and his hand immediately goes to caress her arm that was splayed across his midsection."I love you." He slowly says next. The feeling of his chest about to burst overwhelms him that the only reasonable response to that is to express how much he feels for her.He remembers being frightened when he said it right in front of her. She was 100% awake and would hear everything he'd say. It wasn't because he is forced to say, but rather he didn't exactly think about the timing which made him ramble in his head about how fast he might have paced it.But hearing her say the words back without hesitation seemed more like a fantasy than a reality in itself. "I love you too, Blake." She replies with such delicateness that he seriously still cannot believe it. Those words are directed to him, from her. If that doesn't overwhelm him much more in almost every chance she says it, then he doesn't know what will. You're here. That sounded like a whisper in his head. It was more of a question towards fate because he is certain that it was the only way this could've been possible."Yeah, cowboy," she giggles. He immediately realizes that it may have been an actual whisper. "I'm here."The way she responds to those kinds of statements from him was always met with patience. It never falters which tends to catch him off guard for the most part.He nuzzles his nose against her hair. The soft exhale she releases next sort of gives him an idea that she likes those gestures. More than inhaling the scent that he will always associate with Gwen, it's his way of keeping himself grounded with the help of her presence."What time is it?" she asks after a few moments of silence. He doesn't want to let her go, so he blindly reaches for his phone on the nightstand to his right."9" he replies right when he closed the device again and placed it back."Are you nervous about meeting my family?" He hears her gentle tone. It took a while for the question to register. Once it did, he actually forgot about that detail and that it actually happens today.It has been a while since he met his girl's family. He vaguely remembers how he did it before, but the moment it hits him that this time around it's Gwen's, the wave of nerves came by instantly. It was almost as if they were already there, waiting to be acknowledged.He slowly nods, knowing that being honest with her is where he can rightly go about this."I understand," she says sincerely. "Do you want to do this some other time? I won't mind."He knows she also meant no harm in her latest words, but he's not about to back out now. He briefly smiles at her thoughtfulness while rubbing her arm carefully before he shakes his head. "S'okay. I want to go." The response came in a little slower than he liked, but he opts to verbalize it to help himself get used to it."This means a lot to me, Blake. I just want to know you that." The reassurance she always provides never fails to feel like home. He sometimes feels defeated that there are occasions where he fails to reciprocate that properly, but the one thing he will always make sure of is that she knows he appreciates it with his entire being."Just want to show you how much I'm in," he whispers, his voice becoming a bit hoarse for some reason. He always sees how she doesn't mind, and it makes him more grateful how much her heart always chooses to understand.He knows he's not about to be consistent with this kind forever. He vows to himself that he will escape this bubble that consists of habits of holding back and suppressing himself.Gwen has always brought forth some confidence out of him. He just wants to bring that side of him back. Perhaps, with her, it may be possible.---"You know you didn't have to bring some wine. right?" she softly speaks up and brings him back once again. He looks down at his hand and sees how he's tightly clutching the wine bottle more than he thinks."Will they like-" He knows he dodged Gwen's input, but his brain kept raising these questions. He stops himself once he figures how nervous he sounds. He wants to continue, but somehow she read him like a book."They'll love you. I do. I'm pretty sure it's the same case." Hearing her say those words in a different way gave him this push to go with it, and she beats him to it when she knocks on the door.It wasn't long until someone—who he assumes to be Gwen's mom—greets them with such enthusiasm the moment the door swings open."Gwen! Hi, sweetie." Her hand temporarily lets him go when she moves forward to hug her mom, and he watches the interaction with warmth filling his chest. He is aware of how much she is robbed of spending time with her family back when she was in New York.He never wants to hold her back when it comes to that aspect. The idea of their Sunday cookouts always fascinates him. Now, he is practically invited to one."You must be, Blake." He catches her mom's acknowledgment next. Seeing the kindness radiate from the woman quickly relaxes him."I am, Ma'am. Nice to meet you." He offers his hand carefully while exhibiting a smile. He suddenly remembers the wine he's holding in his other hand. "I thought I'd bring-" His shyness emerged quickly that he almost panics when he stopped himself again."Mom, I swear I told him not to bring any," Gwen jokes. His heart somersaults with gratitude because of how she saved him. "He was persistent on bringing something as a thank you to the invite."The woman chuckles and shakes her head at her daughter's attempt to argue. "This is sweet of you, Blake." He tries to keep his smile and briskly hands over the bottle. "Oh, and you can call me Patti, dear."When Patti nicely addresses him and motions for them to go inside, he lets the happening in his head pass so that it won't hopefully ruin his chance of getting the approval from Gwen's family."You okay?" He sees Gwen move closer to his ear when her mom was at a respectable distance from them.He nods and immediately kisses her forehead to show how much he cherishes her thoughtfulness. "How 'bout you?""I'm good," she beams. The sight calms him subconsciously. He swears that she couldn't get any more beautiful than that. "I'm here."That pulls certain heartstrings because of how unprepared he was. He can't help but hold her closer. "Means everything to me." He attempts to verbalize. It was a murmur to her hair, but the way she relaxed in his touch affirms that she heard it."Wanna go to the back?" she asks after a while. "Nothing beats a mom's recipe. It'll remind you of Cozza's."The memory of their first date and random take-outs grace his mind. He's not about to deny how that excited him. He goes for one big internal effort to push the nerves aside because his whole world is already standing in front of him, in his arms, and on the receiving end of his show of love.It's enough motivation for him to keep walking while holding her hand. You can do this, Blake. You love her. Let it genuinely show. The food was a great distraction. Every bite made him want to get more. At first, he was shy to show he actually liked the dishes served. But then Patti and Jen are already passing different plates to him. Needless to say, they don't mind.Everyone also conversed while the lunch took place. He was asked some questions here and there, depending on the topic. He gives his most honest foot forward and focuses on showing Gwen's family that he only intends to love their daughter and give her everything she deserves.He takes another bite again of—this time—a chicken dish. His eyes widen as the taste registers that he looks at Gwen to silently tell her how good it is, a repeating pattern during the lunch."Beats my cooking doesn't it?" she jokes. He senses the little self-deprecating meaning behind it. He wants to be the one to reassure now."You cook great too. Like mom, like daughter." Blake genuinely smiles at her. When she mirrored his expression, he saw the appreciation in her gaze, so his hand underneath the table goes to hold hers and squeeze it.He gestures to offer her the food next since he noticed that she hasn't grabbed a serving yet. He waits for her to nod and cuts a good amount of the chicken in front of him. He remains extra careful not to spill it when he settles it on her plate.The move seems to be something that caught her off guard, looking at her subtle reaction. Though, she recovers and goes back to eating."Blake." He hears Gwen's father call out for him. The man has been joining them in the group conversation that emerges once in a while at the table, but there hasn't been a direct exchange between them.It makes the nerves come back briefly although he manages. "How has everything been going for you so far?" He can't quite pick up on the exact tone. Still, he keeps his full attention to him as a way of respect."Things are good, sir." That was quite slow on his end. He tries not to think about it too much. "Work is productive. We have many projects. Gwen is excelling because her designs are great." He is proud of that and looks over to Gwen to show how it radiates on his face. "Outside work, nothing much, but I try to keep myself involved in many things."That is quite a lot which he normally doesn't do. He realizes it quickly. The subtle squeeze he feels from Gwen's soft hand lets him know that she acknowledges it too. He catches her smile in his peripheral which helps him to keep going."I'm glad you're great with your stuff. It's definitely a huge change from that-" His tone started as approving and generally okay. When it shifted to something else, he knew what it's supposed to be about.He eyes Todd's face, and the little smirk he was trying to hide was another dead giveaway."Anyways, that's good, Blake. Just so you know, we're happy to welcome you here to our lunch." Gwen's father recovers swiftly. Although he is curious about their perceptions of Gwen's previous relationship, he just takes the latest statement as a good sign for the time being."I still can't believe I'm sitting next to the owner of Shelton Enterprises," Jen excitedly expresses. He explicitly remembers how Gwen talked about her sister-in-law's immediate approval. He is honestly happy with that because, at least, someone is 100% Team Blake already. "Seriously, Gwen, how did you not figure that out instantly?"He knows that Jen is referring to the conversation they had after her interview that Gwen shared with him. He chuckled at that story and decides to keep the conversation going. "Wanted to be lowkey," he treads."I understand," Jen smiles while slowly nodding. "By the way, how do you and Gwen manage the work and this relationship thing?"Blake looks back to his left to gauge her reaction. It seems that she didn't expect it, but he knows the question was out of curiosity, so he squeezes Gwen's hand again before answering Jen."People at work don't mind," he reassures gently. "We know when to be professional. She is killing it at her role." He can't not bring up how good she's doing. The feedback he is getting from the clients brings their team over the moon."Sissy knows her stuff," Jen agrees. "Sometimes she's stubborn though. Keep her in check will you?" The joking tone behind Jen's statement draws out a pretendingly pissed face from Gwen. She shakes her head and smiles eventually. Todd eventually joins in with his chuckle."She's great." He responds then takes another bite. The knowing and sweet smile he sees from Jen tells him a whole different message. Though she was joking about it, he is aware that Gwen probably didn't have an easy past, based on some tendencies since she hasn't shared much about the relationship department yet. He doesn't mind and will go with her pace. But, he is dedicated to showing that this time, it's different. He hopes that's what Jen sensed.The rest of the lunch went by lightly, and topics shifted to holidays and stuff about Todd and Jen's kids. There's a certain ease that comes by him now. The nerves before were now forgotten as the conversation flows freely within Gwen's family. They have been nothing but welcoming to him. So far everything is going well, he hopes to keep being a part of this because he wants to show how much he's in it with Gwen.He'll develop even closer bonds with each of them soon. For now, he finds solace in the fact that they accept him with open arms. The conversation almost steered to something tricky a while ago, but he's glad it wasn't actually about him.Speaking of family, he suddenly remembers his, back in Oklahoma. He talks to his mom via text, but he hasn't visited in a while. He knows they'll love Gwen and will welcome her just like how he is here."Everything still good?" He hears Gwen whisper and discerns her presence be closer. He wraps his arm around hers then eventually holds her hand."Mmhmm," he gently hums, feeling her lean against him. "They've been nice to me. I'm glad." He whispered slowly but genuinely."Thank God the questions aren't too intense yet. Good thing they're taking it easy on you."He knew she meant good on that, being sensitive to how he sometimes struggles about opening up about things. He is determined to change that. As long as he knows she is there by his side, nothing else would matter more. He can now guarantee that."Will be alright, pretty girl." He kisses her forehead and caresses her hand. Every time she closes her eyes to take in the gesture, he can't help but be enamored of it. "You're there.""That's right." She opens her eyes again and establishes eye contact with him intently. He just gets lost in them. This time, he holds back on kissing her on the lips since he's not so sure what impression of him losing control in front of her family would insinuate.He goes for a sweet peck on her cheek instead, not wanting to deny her of any silent request in some way."Gwen, can you help us for a sec with bringing these to the kitchen?" Jen kindly but teasingly interrupts. He sees Gwen's eyes roll at the underlying intention that he couldn't contain his soft laugh.He strokes her arm to let her know he is okay with it before she goes on to stand up and help her mom and sister-in-law.He stands up himself and tries to offer anything he could do. "How can I help?""It's okay, Blake. Can you come here for a sec?" Dennis and Todd were walking towards a specific spot on the patio, so he follows until the three men are close enough to have a conversation of their own."How was the food?" Todd starts. He took a sip from the cup he's holding before Blake answers."It's delicious. Mrs., I mean, Patti's cooking was stellar." He almost addressed Gwen's mom somewhere along the lines of ma'am and Mrs. although he recovers."We hope to be seeing you in future Sunday lunches, right?" Todd asks next."That's the plan." He slowly answers but attempts to sound confident. He is not sure what kind of question will be thrown next, but he knows how much it means to Gwen (and him) that their families approve of them for each other. Things were quite rough for them in the beginning, mostly because of him, but he will do his best to explain himself if ever that moment arrives now."I'll be honest with you, Blake," Gwen's father says, looking afar before focusing on him. "I was a little, so to say, worried about Gwen because her last relationship wasn't in any way that healthy and good for her.""The guy was an asshole." He hears Todd whisper which affirmed his suspicions on previous occasions."I'm not in the position to share all the details. I'll let Gwen do that." The man pauses for a second to let it sink in. Blake nods to acknowledge. "But what I will say is that it was bad enough for her visits to lessen. And the cause of their breakup is something I didn't like."That piques his curiosity, but he is more focused on how much Gwen had to go through. He knows in his mind and heart that she doesn't deserve whatever bad treatment she got. He remembers how she requested not to be physically present in case he caves because she has been hurt before. The realization hits him hard, and it only solidifies how much he really wants to give her everything good in this lifetime.He doesn't want to be the guy that shatters her hope about genuine love and good people."At least it lifts my worries to see how you're willing to show Gwen how much you love her." He didn't mean for the display of affection to be shown brazenly to her family, but he doesn't regret any of it. "You do have this timid stance about you, but I understand since this is your first time meeting all of us."The part about the timid stance has some more factors to it, but he is grateful that her father shares the same understanding heart as Gwen."I'm in for the long haul, Sir." He thought he'd say something to let them know that he does love Gwen. He will also show through action, of course, so long as Gwen lets him."As long as you're not an asshole to my daughter, we're good." The directness catches him off guard, but he doesn't mind. "Welcome to the family, Blake."The man offers his hand out to shake. He gladly takes it and receives a gentle pack on his back. "Thank you, Sir.""You can call me Dennis, son."---"Today went great," Gwen speaks up just when he turned off the engine.He nods and goes for her hand to caress and squeeze it. He kisses her knuckles softly. Thank God, he doesn't miss the sweet smile that slowly forms on her face."I was meaning to ask what did my dad tell you." Her hand went to his cheek, and he almost smiles proudly since it turned out okay. It's alright to get a slight warning about what happens if his daughter isn't treated right. If he had his own kids, he would be concerned too."Said as long as I treat you right, we're good." Gwen swiftly shakes her head at that. "He welcomed me." He softly shares next. That part was kind of vague although Gwen's little lip-bite confirmed that she understood what he meant."He's very straightforward. It's something I like and sometimes I'm nervous about when it comes to my dad.""S'okay, pretty girl," he reassures next. After a while, they both decide it's time to go out of the car and rest since they have work tomorrow.When he reaches the sidewalk to get to Gwen's side, he sees a figure standing on the walkway towards her house. He tries to make sense of the person since it was nighttime. Before he knew it, Gwen was out of the car."Eleanor?" He hears the door close, yet the confusion manifests on his face."Gwen?" A different voice is something he registers next. He looks back and forth between the two women, mostly on Gwen. He waits for whatever reaction and remains close."Blake, can you go inside the house first?" Gwen carefully requests next.Despite his curiosity at an all-time high, he complies, in respect to the privacy she wishes to have right now."I'll be inside," he says before kissing the top of her head and heading into the house.As much as he wants to stay by the door to hear what's happening, he doesn't do that. He recalls Gwen's quite tense demeanor when he left. It temporarily made him regret leaving her there. Though, he contemplates next about what he can do tonight for her. He knows she can share about it with him later and reminds himself of the privacy she requested for now. What he does, instead, is rush to the second floor to run a bath for her. He gets the soap from one of the cabinets and squeezes a few of the contents of the bottle into the tub.Once the tub is almost full, he rushes back down to the kitchen to make some tea for her. Just when he's about to plug the kettle, he hears Gwen's loud voice from outside.He abruptly stops the business he's doing and runs to the door. He practically didn't care that it flew open. What he cared about more is the sight in front of him.Gwen was shaking and the other girl seems to be pushing about something when she repeats the same question to Gwen."Eleanor, just please go. Don't come back." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that Gwen is crying. He takes two long strides to get to her side and immediately goes to caress her shoulders."Gwen, please. I just want-" This girl is persistent as heck, but he cares more about his girlfriend. So when he realizes that she's shaking too much to respond, he takes over carefully."Listen." He is grateful for the convenient timing of the sudden confidence that came by him. "I know you want something, but I prefer you do what she says." His voice wasn't loud, but his protective instinct for Gwen dominates the situation.He knows the girl sensed it. He hears a defeated sigh before she eventually leaves.Blake doesn't wait for the girl to be out of sight and proceeds to gently lead Gwen inside the house. Her sniffs were breaking his heart as each second passes by. He tries to focus and takes her to the couch, so she could sit down.He rushes to the kitchen briefly and gets a glass of water in case she'll need it. He knows he should have said something, but he acts as fast he could and was back to her side in probably ten seconds.Not even a bat of an eye later, Gwen bursts into tears. He thought he knew what it felt like for his heart to sink. He definitely knows now. Though, he doesn't want to let that falter him. He quickly wraps his arms around her and lets her face rest against his chest.Her sobs filled the room, and he doesn't do anything else but let her cry out everything she needs to out of her system. She has nothing but been his rock even back when things were trippy between them. It's about time that he finally shows Gwen that she has his back.He gently rubs her back and places light kisses on the top of her head to help her calm down. Not long, he pulls her even closer with the hug and caresses her sides with what he could touch."Breathe, Gwen." He murmurs every once in a while. His full attention is on her so that he can promptly cater to whatever she may need. It took a few minutes, yet his patience never wavers, before her sobs went back to sniffs."Blake?" she calls out next."I'm here," he responds fast. One of his hands went to cup her cheek to caress it. Even in these moments, she melted to his touch. It reminds him of how much he finds stability in hers. The calmness he can get lost in before mustering up the courage to move forward.It seems like it has the same effect on her."Eleanor was my best friend," Gwen starts. He realizes what's about to unfold, so he strokes her arm to let her know that he is intently listening. "All the way from art's school up to when we were both working," she continues."Gavin cheated on me with her." The slight break in her voice intensified her statement that it had him frozen on his tracks.
What in the hell..
Worry fills his entire being that he cups her cheeks with both hands and brings her gaze up to meet his. He doesn't want to press for anything more from her yet, but his thumb skims through the skin it could touch. He is still rendered speechless by the information she shared, but he knows that the worry, sadness, anger, and heartbreak are shown in his eyes.A tear made its way down her cheek, and he wiped it with ease and the delicateness that she rightfully deserves.She slightly pulled away from his hands to swallow the lump on her throat. She looks to her side and sniffs for a while as she shares the next bit. "I should've acknowledged my gut when Gavin started to intentionally ignore me 6 months before I called things off."Gwen paused to take a deep breath, and he marginally leans forward so he could rub her back. "I thought I could trust my only best friend at the time. I thought I was enough for him. Dad and Todd have warned me a couple of times about my ex, but I never really listened. Gavin wasn't the type to care unless he'll benefit from it. He was never gentle or patient, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I thought by simply submitting to him and his needs, I'd be enough."When she looks back at him, it feels like all of his organs shattered with hurt. She didn't and doesn't deserve this. She is the most amazing human being in the world. She deserves to be loved, cared for, and appreciated. He now knows what Dennis meant about not being an asshole to his daughter.Gwen is the type of girl you would want a forever with. She never judges you. She understands. She opens her heart. She loves with all her being.That alone should be anyone's primary reason not to hurt her and cheat on her. For God's sakes.. He knew what it's like. It takes a toll on your confidence and trust in yourself. It dawns on him that it's not only him that needs healing. She does too, in a different way, although he is determined to show her that she deserves a man who would go hell and back for her."Pretty girl," he gently says then cups her cheeks again. The confidence to voice out his thoughts drops by again. "He wasn't worthy to have you. You deserve all the love in this world." He's not about to make this about himself, so he sort of stops when that comes into his line of thought next. He just wanted to say some words of reassurance as to his way of being there for her, like she has done many times for him."I remember the night after the interview," she sniffs a little but generally looked like she calmed down. "I got an invitation to their wedding in the mail." A what? Excuse me?! "I broke down because it just came crashing down on me how I wasn't enough. Then, Kelly called saying I got accepted. You sort of saved me and you weren't even there."The last part was close to a whisper due to the emotions overtaking her voice. He doesn't take it against her. Instead, he holds and comforts her through it. He can't help but reassure her because it pains him to realize that it crossed her mind that she wasn't enough. "You're more than enough, Gwen," he treads. "He's an asshole." He just had to verbalize it, but he doesn't forget to go back to his main point. "You're worth keeping, worth loving. Let me show you.""You do, Blake. Thank you for being with me tonight." He carefully wipes the tear that makes its way down her cheek before she nuzzled her face into his chest."Just wanna be here for you," he kisses the top of her head delicately as a way to show how much he means it. "You always have my back." I wanna let you know now that you have my heart for as long as I have the opportunity to let you have it. The silence that follows is something they both tag along with. All he wishes to do is to be that safe haven for her tonight and in the succeeding ones, in addition to all the silent promises he makes.After a few moments of holding each other, he gives her a soft yet loving kiss on her lips, hoping that the words he couldn't say earlier would translate. Once he sees her shoulders visibly relax and the genuine smile while she looked straight into his eyes, he knew then and there that she got his message.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
There was something about their relationship that feels like every time something unravels, it pulls them closer together. It dawns on her how willing Blake is to be there for her when she couldn't hold it in.It means the world to her since it wasn't something she was used to. More than that, he is patient with her through it and reassures her. She knows that sometimes he can be told that he is too much with the things he does for other people. But for her, it's all she could ever have dreamed of.They have been dating for more than a month and he has met her family already. It seems quite fast, but she doesn't care about the pacing.The progress matters more for her. This past month, Blake started sharing about himself a bit more. Her seeing his guard down made her appreciate his strength and vulnerability. He hesitates mostly because he is still scared. She won't blame him for that. At least, he tries to talk to her. That's slow and steady progress from how they were initially.For the next few days, they'll be in Oklahoma. He invited her to come the day after her ex-best friend visited her house. She said yes, without a doubt.Don't get her wrong though, she is quite nervous to meet his family. It has been a while and her ex wasn't always open about his, so she tries to give herself a refresher with what she can remember."Are you okay?" His drawl pulls her out of her thinking session. She feels the gentle squeeze on her hand next. The fact that Blake has a plane that can help him get to anywhere at anytime leaves her speechless. She is comfortable herself, but the moment she realizes his capacity and status, you won't even see that past his humility.It is something she also loves so much about him, along with his patience, gentleness, and care.She catches his waiting expression, and it hits her that she hasn't answered his question yet. There is nothing but understanding on Blake's end which made her warmly smile at that."Yeah, I am," she begins, placing a kiss on his cheek so that she won't worry him too much. "Are you sure I'm allowed to take 5 days off from work?""You're a VP. You have control of your schedule," he says slowly and softly. She watches him move closer to her. It gives an opportunity for her to lean against his side, and she won't ever let that slip. The idea of his proximity is her closest association to safety."That means you have too since you own it," she argues jokingly. She hears a soft chuckle from him next before he places a kiss on her hair. He doesn't speak and hums instead. "You work too much sometimes," she points out and moves her head so she could look at him. "I think we both need this short getaway.""Haven't been home in a while," he says after he briefly nods at her statement. She does know a thing or two about that. He shared about timing it right and thought he'd go back home for a bit. He has told her that he texts his mom but hasn't had the time to visit.She knows the feeling too, of being far away from family and holding back on the visits. When work sometimes gets in the way, home would have to wait, especially when you're also working hard for your family. It dawns on her how much similarities she and Blake have when it comes to that aspect.Though as time passes by, Blake and home are two words she can closely relate. Not just with the amount of time they have spent together ever since things have been sailing to the right direction. The comfort and safety he provides her, she knows she won't get it anywhere unless he is with her."I'm nervous." She opens after the silence emerges. She looks up at him again, leaning further into his touch. Once his gaze landed on her, the butterflies that formed in her stomach almost sweeps her off her feet. She wasn't sure if her cheek actually turned red or she got to hold it in."S'okay, pretty girl." He kisses her on the forehead so delicately that she should be used to it. But no, how can she when he handles her so gently like that? Damn you, Blake Shelton. "They'll love you," he says next, not tearing his eyes away from her. She sees the sincerity in them that the nerves started to subside. "It's not hard to love you." He murmurs against her forehead before kissing her there again.She is rendered speechless because she didn't exactly expect it. It's these times she's reminded of his slow progress when it comes to being more expressive of his thoughts to her. She nuzzles her nose against his clothed chest as the appreciation crosses her head."I love you." The words come in naturally yet the feelings after saying it hit her so intensely. This is probably what Blake meant when he confessed to her in their recent conversations that he feels overwhelmed in a good way by what she ignites within him. She never thought she would hear those words directed at her, and here she is."I love you, pretty girl." He speaks gently. Her arm wraps around his midsection, the grogginess suddenly entering her system. "So much." It's the last thing she completely hears before falling into slumber.---"Gwen." She feels soft taps against her arm and his voice vibrating against her hair. He must have been nudging her awake a couple times and the thought leads her to abruptly open her eyes."I'm sorry I fell asleep." She doesn't know why but the apology is out before she can think about it. Blake was still in the same position when she slept a while ago.He understandingly smiles and caresses the back of her hand with his thumb. "Don't apologize, pretty girl," he drawls. "We're here."She takes a peek outside the window and sees the airport. It took her about a minute to digest and let it sink in that she's in Blake's home state with him. It's a calming feeling that comes all of a sudden, so she settles for that and looks back at him. He waits patiently while holding his hand out for her. She doesn't hesitate to intertwine her fingers with his.He walked with her until they got in the car while the other airplane crew helped them with their stuff to be loaded in Blake's truck.The ride to his house mostly consisted of her looking outside, admiring the serene view that they pass by.Blake is driving and checks on her every now and then. She'll never grow tired of that, so she always replies genuinely.Not long after, she can see his mom's house in sight. They are just in time for lunch, and she remembers their conversation to the airport that his mom would be inviting them as they are expected to arrive today. At first, he was nervous when he brought it up to her, but she reassured quickly.It's the give and take that they both engage in which is something that she has always been wanting for a long time. Now that she has it, she'd do all that she can to make sure this bond between them stays intact for as long as time lets them.She smiles at the thought that Blake would do the same with zero hesitance.The truck slowly stops as the house comes into view, and it dawns on her that they have arrived at his mom's. The nerves are still there since it is her first time to meet Blake's family, but she takes one look at his baby blues, ready to listen and acknowledge, and it's all she needs to gain that confidence and nod at him.He unbuckles his seatbelt and before she could even open her door, he was already there to open it and escort her down. She always involuntarily smiles at his chivalry. He knows how to balance it with understanding her sense of independence.Hand-in-hand, they walk at a moderate pace to the porch. When they got to the top, Blake faces her carefully and gently to him. She is suddenly curious but he beats her to it."You still good?" It's the sweetness that he combines it with that she can't wrap her head around. "Mmhmm," she nods with a smile, "This place is beautiful, by the way. I know it's mostly trees and nature stuff, but it's so refreshing. And I'm honored that you took me here." She means the words wholeheartedly and knows that it will be quick to reassure him as well."It wouldn't be nice of me not to let them see how much of a great human being you are," he lowly and slowly says. Again, he takes her by surprise at how he says those things to her. She's almost close to believing him 100%, but she's not always one to take compliments easily."I don't know how you can come up with those things, but thank you, cowboy," she shyly replies. The nickname slips naturally, and he immediately kisses her forehead at that. She knows that he looked at her one more time to make sure that she's good with being here before knocking on the door.A few seconds later, a lady who was about the same height as hers greets them with much excitement."Blake!" The woman barely gave Blake time to let go of his hand so he could hug her since the woman immediately wraps her arms around him.She can't help but chuckle as she watches the moment unfold. She realizes around the same time that she is Blake's mom when she hears her drawl when she greets them again."Mom, this is Gwen." Luckily, she recovered from almost falling into deep thinking when she heard her name."Blake, what in God's name is pretty as a word choice. She is drop dead gorgeous." His mother exclaims while she feels her cheeks heat up. The next thing she knows, she is being hugged by Blake's mom and the warm welcome didn't make her hesitate."It's great to finally meet you, Ms. Dorothy." She's glad his mom's name pops in her head when she needs it most, but she couldn't recall her last name for the life of her. She knows that Blake told her about his mom remarrying, so she settles with that address to his mom."You can call me Dot, sweetheart," the woman smiles as she steps aside to let them in. "Welcome to our home!""I'm sorry if I couldn't bring anything," Gwen says next as she gets in the house. She remembers Blake being persistent on bringing something when he met her parents, so she thought it was a tradition for them. Unfortunately, she wasn't entirely sure of his family's preference, in addition to the fact that Blake said she didn't have to."It's alright, Gwen. Just you being here with my son is already more than I could wish for," Dot sincerely remarks. There was something the light way she took her in that easily swept off all of the remaining nerves in Gwen's body. "Lunch is almost done, so why don't you guys wait here while we finish up in the kitchen?""Is there anything Blake and I can help with?" She offers promptly as a way to show her courtesy for their friendly welcome."You're our guest for today, sweetheart. Besides, I think Blake would rather have you by his side either." The woman chuckles by the end, and she looks over to Blake to see him scratching his cheek with one of his fingers shyly.Before she could even respond to Dot, she was already walking to the archway that must be leading to the kitchen."Blake, you're here! Finally." She hears next. She sees Blake's stepdad coming down the stairs as he greeted them. It only made sense to conclude that since Blake did mention to her that it was only his mom and his stepdad who were living here.She watches them go in for a quick handshake, then Blake motioned for her to come closer."Mike, this is Gwen," Blake drawls as his arm circles her waist. The move caught her off guard, but it doesn't mean she didn't like it. "Pretty girl, this is my stepdad.""So nice to finally meet you." She participates in a handshake first before a swift hug with Blake's stepdad. The tall man excused himself to check on his wife in the kitchen.It took her a while since she is entranced by the homey feeling that Dot's home is exuding. She is super certain that Blake's ranch would be the same. When she finally registers, Blake was gesturing for the couch so they could sit while they waited. She nods easily and takes a seat.He was situated at the edge, a portion of his back leaning against the arms, so he is somehow facing her.The need to be close to him overpowers her thought of his parents being nearby. She sits on his thigh that he brought to rest on the cushions. At first, she gauged his reaction. But then she sees the grin he tries to suppress, so she knows she made the right decision."They're so happy to see you," she opens when she leans towards him, her head laying at the crook of his neck."I miss them too," he shares. One of his hands starts going up and down her back which had her melting into his figure. She probably looks too clingy for almost laying on him, but the warmth his touch brings doesn't get her to care.She associates him with this lightness that engulfs her every time he holds her like this. Ever since they took that step, they can't not touch. Even in circumstances like this, she can't help but stay close to him. She got too happy for her own liking when Blake expressed the same thing a few days after that night."If there's one thing you should learn from me, you have to spend time with your family whenever you can. Don't let the prospect of work hold you back.""I hear you, baby." He replies gently and sweetly. His hand that was caressing her back was now softly squeezing her arm.She was initially closing her eyes to savor the moment. But now that she opened them, she discerns how close he is that her mind clears out to only think about one thing.His gaze is intently on hers like waiting for her permission. She gives in quickly, those ocean blues weakening her resolve. God. "Kiss me." She barely whispers. At first, she thought he didn't hear it. Though, his body language already insinuated that he's ready, and it doesn't take long for him to lightly touch her lips with his.The faint touch of his lips could've made her lose her mind, wanting more of what he can give. All of that goes out the window when he cups her cheek with his free hand while he deepens the kiss.She can't help but lean into him as she presses the remainder of her body against him. His hand on her back slides down to her hips. She feels goosebumps all over her body as they exchange their proclamation of love through every kiss he reciprocates from her.Her hands rest on his chest as the nails attempt to scratch whatever she could reach. She heard his breath stutter at her move and she smiles in the midst of their kiss with pride, knowing that he's this affected by her as much as she is by him.The way her lungs almost can't catch up with how he takes her breath away—literally—drives her crazy. The only thing holding her back is the thought of other people in the house. Though, she doesn't want to break away. Not when it feels this good. She also senses it from him either when he angles his face so he could kiss her with more passion and rigor.Just when things are about to escalate because she already felt his hands searching for skin underneath her shirt, Dot's voice registers in her ears. "Blake, Gwen, lunch is... Oh!"They pulled away so abruptly that it didn't matter they were desperately catching their breaths. Gwen's cheeks flush uncontrollably while Blake looks over to his mom to acknowledge her presence, his chest rising up and down almost violently."I'll uh." The woman seemed to be at a loss for words but recovered. "I'll leave you guys be. Oh my god, I'm sorry. Lunch is ready. Thought I'd let y'all know." Dot removes herself from their sight as fast as she could, and she can't help but hide her face in the crook of Blake's neck in embarrassment."I just met my boyfriend's mom a few minutes ago, and she already caught me making out with her son." She says, muffled, to his shirt.She hears a soft chuckle before feeling his hands gently cupping both of her cheeks to get her to look at him. "S'okay, pretty girl.""Blake," she lowly whines, "a horny girlfriend isn't exactly what I'm trying to show here." She still feels red-faced although Blake is determined not to hide her sheepish expression."I love you," he goes for that instead. She pouts because she is aware that he isn't playing fair. His smile stretches wider. In another circumstance, she would've found that as the prettiest sight to see him blissed out. But now, he's just messing with her."You can't I love you my worries away," she pokes her tongue out, her pout remaining apparent. "This is serious." There was already the joke hinting at her tone. She tried her best to keep an embarrassed yet pissed face on, but his smile was just too captivating for her not to give in."I think I can," he murmurs before kissing her on her forehead."Now, you kiss me there instead?" She disappointingly says, obviously playing along with him. "You're not being fair."His outgoing chuckle had him leaning his head against her temple. That seemed to help the situation calm down because they're back to basking in the feeling of having each other that close. She hears her stomach grumble out of the blue, and they look at each other knowing what happens next."As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really hungry and excited to taste your mom’s cooking," she confesses.---The lunch is going great. Dot didn't seem to have any plans of bringing up how she caught them earlier which provides a huge relief on Gwen's end.His mom's cooking is also so good that it occurs to her head how Dot and Patti would get along easily. They're both lovingly open and great at cooking. She already has hopes of looking forward to that day."You want to try?" Blake points his fork to something on his plate. She hasn't tried that one yet, and it looks delicious."What is that?" she curiously scoots closer to him to get a better look at the food."Turkey. Mom's original recipe." That already fascinates her more than she likes to admit. Even if she is vegetarian, she still eats a little bit of meat in several occasions, so she nods without hesitance. He goes to cut her a good portion of the serving then carefully placing it on her plate.The gesture has her beaming that she kissed him on the cheek, not being able to help it. "Thank you," she sweetly says. His smile afterwards had her heart doing somersaults. She's not sure if there's a sight that gets any better than that.She takes a bite of the dish that was served onto her plate. Once the mix of flavors registers on her tongue, her eyes widen and whips her gaze immediately to Blake, who seemed like he was anticipating her reaction."I’m sorry, Blake. I love you, but your mom’s turkey is way better."He shyly chuckles, and she feels him kiss her temple. As much as she can get nervous when she thinks she's too showy, she loves Blake's display of affection. Even if they're basically in front of his parents, he's not super hesitant about it."I'm glad you like it, dear," Dot says. The woman readjusts her position on her seat before she spoke again. "I hope you don't mind, but Mike and I wanna know more about you. All we got from Blake is that you're pretty, hardworking, and one of the kindest people ever."She glances at Blake, the words obviously taking her aback. When she recovers, she goes to focus on his mom again. "Blake and I met at work. I'm from California, but I used to live in New York when I worked for Lucé," she pauses, "I don't have a lot going on besides work and family.""That is pretty awesome, I gotta say," Blake's stepdad says. "Is Lucé any different from here at Blake's?""They're both huge companies, so not really. But I do like how I have much more control of my time at Shelton Enterprises. Plus everyone is super nice and amazing to work with." She smiles at Blake, assuring him that the work environment aspect remains healthy. He has told her numerous times that he just wants that for all the people who work there."I hope he's not giving you a hard time being the big boss," Dot jokes.At first, she giggles. She can see Blake at her peripheral a little nervous, but she switches gears quickly. "Blake is one of the most caring and the kindest people I met. I love him the way he is," she shares with such sincerity. Gwen decides to take a brief breath before continuing. "Well, there were some rough patches in the beginning, but that’s way past us now. What matters for me is that he’s here and I’m here for him."She glances at Blake and sees the softest and most loving look from him. One of her hands lets go of the spoon and searches for his, so she could hold it. She loves how he always took time to stroke hers, letting her know that he heard everything loud and clear."I’m glad he has you, sweetheart," his mom drawls, pulling them out of their little bubble although they both don't mind. The woman reaches for her hand and taps it gently. "We are getting worried since he hasn’t been visiting in a while." Just by the way Dot raised her eyebrow a bit, Gwen knew that Dot was aware of Blake's certain habits and tendencies."Mom," Blake nervously addresses. She sees him stop himself though. She is aware that his nerves could be rising, so she lightly squeezes his hand to let him know that she's got him."He has a tendency to handle everything by himself," Dot opens. "Although that’s a good skill to have at certain points, sometimes we just need someone to count on." Her statement ended more on a profound and worried note. Gwen realizes instantly that it's only Dot's motherly intentions and instinct that's steering the woman's point."It’s easier to shut everyone out," Blake confesses. His tone is quite low, but she is sure everyone heard it. That took her by surprise; nevertheless, she is proud he expressed it."I know." Just by the nod, all of them in the room understood what Blake meant.Something about Dot’s response tells her that something similar has happened before. She is determined to find out, but it's all on Blake’s terms. For now, she is glad he lets her see this part of him."Anyways." She knows Blake is relieved by the change of topic. She looks at him quickly and places a kiss on his cheek. He leans his forehead against her temple, and she knew that he got the message. "Gwen, Blake, Endy will be coming back the day after tomorrow from a short family trip. She is excited to see you both. We hope that maybe you could stay the night here by that time?""I’m with whatever Blake decides on," she gently answers to let Dot know that she was listening.She catches his warm smile before he directs his gaze to his mother. "Will Jace and Ryan be coming?"Gwen sees Dot nod in her peripheral. Not long, Blake looks at her again. She anticipates his answer and leans on him in support."You okay with that?" he softly asks. Gwen senses the worry of this being a lot on her since it is her first time meeting his family, but she reassures him. “Of course," she responds sweetly, "Wherever you are, I wanna be there too.”He always goes that extra mile to make sure one more time that everything is okay with her even if he doesn't do it verbally that much. The truth is, she doesn't mind staying at his parent's house by that time. At least, she has an opportunity to brace herself before meeting his sister.It's not that she's scared, but Blake has informed her that they have a close bond, so she knows how important it is to have her approval. Though she knows that Blake will reassure her about that, she still can't help it.She almost didn't catch him saying yes to his mom's offer. "We’ll stay the night.""Perfect!" Dot's excited voice helps in toning down a bit her nerves about the incoming meet-up. "I’ll tell Endy then."---"Today went well," she says after taking off her jacket and placing it on the nearby chair. After lunch at his parents, they hung around for a little while before they went to Blake's ranch to rest.It was already nighttime when they got here, so Blake promised her a tour of his place in broad daylight. She doesn't mind the pacing of their activities at all since they'll be staying here for a couple of days.Any opportunity she gets to have Blake to herself is definitely something she won't pass on.She feels his arms go around her waist. The next thing she does is lean against him. His warmth already there to comfort her entire being so she exhales as she melts—quite literally—to him.He hums, kissing a spot on her shoulder. "Hope it wasn't a lot on you.""It isn't," she gradually turns around and wraps her arms around his neck. His blue eyes pop out more at night that she almost got lost in them. "I'm glad to meet your parents. They're so nice to me," she pauses, "And they worry about you.""They always worry," he murmurs into her forehead, "But I'm not surprised you they loved you instantly." She likes how he pulled her even closer, not caring about the concept of personal space. She doesn't either.She remembers his words from the plane. It overwhelms her again immediately, her heart beating faster. Just by the way he searched for skin underneath her shirt, she knows it's time they stopped talking.A while ago they were cut short by his mom. She is still nervous about that every time she recalls it. But now, no one is here to disturb them. And seeing the landmass surrounding his property, she is confident that no one is around for miles.He kisses the top of her head for the time being. The touch on the small of her back is sending her mind into a tailspin, so she looks up at him and raises one of her eyebrows."Are you going to be a tease or are you going to-" She is cut off by one of his hands cupping her cheek and pulling her in for a kiss.It doesn't even boggle her how easy it takes for her to relax into his touch. He holds her so gently despite the sudden need that arises within them. He deepens it in no time just like how much she likes it.He paces things sweetly and too slowly for a while until they briefly pull away for some air."You don't like when I touch you?" His breathing was still ragged. She massages her nails into his curls and with the way he leans his forehead to her while catching his smile, she knows he loved it."Shut up and love me."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
With much caution, he slips the spatula underneath the toast. Like he hasn't been doing this for the nth time this morning, he counts in his head before lifting it off the pan and stacking it with the others he previously cooked on the plate.He eyes the other food to see if they have cooled down before going to the fridge to get the salad he had prepared before everything else.Blake suddenly starts to contemplate if he and Gwen should go for a breakfast-in-bed instead. He places the bowl down on the countertop and starts to recall if he has any trays in his ranch that have the right size to hold everything he put together.
I think that's going to be first on my what-to-buy-next list.
"Hey," Gwen softly speaks out of the blue. He abruptly turns around and sees her lay her head against the archway.Forgetting to utter something back, he swiftly walks to her then looks at her intently, trying to gauge whatever she may need.He quickly realizes that she still must be sleepy by the way she sort of sloppily leans towards his chest. Without much of a thought, his arms wrap around her, pulling her closer but remaining gentle. After a few seconds, he sweetly kisses the top of her head."Good morning," he murmurs to her hair. He's sure that he heard a faint exhale from her next, and he doesn't know why, but his lips form a small smile at that.It dawns on him how much he misses holding her even if they were just doing that about an hour ago. He doesn't regret getting up and cooking breakfast for her, but he thinks that he probably should've found a way to make sure she was in near proximity while he was doing that.There's always a sense of home that emerges every time he's with her. The realization hits him hard the moment he witnesses Gwen stepping foot on his homeland.She actively wants to see this part of him, and he doesn't know that anything could get more accepting than that. He knows that it can be a bit overwhelming to meet his parents after a few minutes of arriving in Oklahoma, an entirely different environment for her, but she handles everything with such ease.Gwen has done something similar when she moved to New York; he recalls when she shared that. But still, there was a part of him that's nervous, that they might be too different. Yet, that worry was erased the moment she, Dot, and Mike fell into amiable conversations as they hung out for a bit at his parent's yesterday.He was pulled out from his thoughts when he heard a soft exhale from her. She shifts a little bit, thinking she will snuggle further into his arms. But when he feels her head move, he waits for her gaze to focus on him."You okay?" he asks. One of his hands slides down to hold her on her waist while the other strokes her back."You weren't in bed when I woke up," she cooed. Just by seeing her do that, Blake had to garner all possible self-control because of how adorable she's being."Sorry," he says first. "Wanted to cook breakfast for you." He then gives her a peck on her cheek, knowing she may like it. Her approving hum confirms that."Sweet cowboy," Gwen mumbles with an endearing smile plastered on her face. He kisses her again, this time on the lips, unable to resist any longer.After a brief while, he lightly nudges her so they could sit down and eat since the kisses seem to have woken her up completely.He lets her sit on one of the chairs at the nearby dining table while he quickly occupies himself with getting all the serving plates and the eating utensils they need."Made a salad for you," he says once he placed the bowl near Gwen before sitting down on the seat next to her."Thank you," she cutely expresses before taking a bite.He grabbed the serving that had the French toast and offered a slice to her. He waits for her nod. Then, he moves to placing one on his plate right after."What do you want to do today?" He softly asks after chomping on the toast and bacon combination. Sometimes he gets a little critical when it's him who's cooking, but this breakfast turned out really well."You promised you'd show me around." She raises her eyebrows prior to chewing some of the fruits and veggies she stuffed in her mouth. Cute! At the same time, he also remembers saying that to her last night, moments before they ended up resting. "Okay. We'll do that." Just as he spoke those words, she brought up her spoon to him, letting him have a taste of the chopped fruit he included in her salad. The gesture catches him off guard, and he can feel his heart about to burst at how much he is grateful for the woman in front of him and how he adores everything about her.He takes a bite and catches her beautiful smile. He can't explain why, but they linger there for a while, not moving and just staring at each other in silence. It wasn't in some sort of creepy or awkward kind of way. It's probably that point of the day where they just look at one another. No words needed to be said. It's only the feeling of having each other in that moment that matters.In a life before Gwen, he slowly began to lose faith in the fact of a love like this exists in his world. But now, he understands when people say that the right one can make time stop. And this is surely one of those instances.---His nerves fleetingly rise as she takes in the variety of things he has in his kitchen. It was arguably the biggest part of the ranch, the living room is probably a close second.While the dishes were in the dishwasher, he walked her around his house. She got to see most of the raw parts of him that mostly reside here in Oklahoma. He was able to show Gwen some of the picture frames of him and his family displayed on the walls and shelves. He surprised himself when he shared the stories behind them. Seeing her intently listening to him pulls a different kind of heartstring deep in his gut.At this point, he knows there is an important level of trust between them. He recognizes how safe he is when it comes to baring some parts of him open. She continues to be that for him. He'll never stop being thankful for it. He finds himself expressing it through a soft kiss at her temple in every chance he gets.Though, they went back to the kitchen when they heard the dishwasher ding. He temporarily forgets what she could possibly see here as she helps him put the plates back in the cabinets.He is not about to lie that once his stays became more frequent at hers, he made sure to get the same stuff she needs in her kitchen in his too. In his mind, he tries to justify his intention of wanting her to like this place while he also waits for the moment that she'll realize.All he wishes is for her to be comfortable in his ranch because he also likes being here. Even if he spends more time in California because of work, Oklahoma will always be something he associates with the concept of calm and secure. It dawns on him that Gwen is already something similar for him too.After closing the dishwasher and ensuring that everything is good, his gaze lands on her figure. Her back was facing him, but it doesn't take long for him to know that she is observing the coffee maker settled at the corner.Once she turns around and gazes at him, he knows that look of recognition in her eyes. He can feel his cheeks heating up because that probably means she figured it out.He didn't get to process it quickly, but she is back in his arms in due time. It's not like he doesn't like it, so he keeps her there and holds her like it's the only thing he wants to do.Though, his mind becomes briefly nervous about the possibility of her bringing up the similar appliances in the kitchen, so he opts to bring up an idea he thinks she may like as their next activity."Can I take you out to see the ranch?" he slowly inquires. Gwen shifts her head so that her chin is resting on his chest. "Lead the way, cowboy," she says before pouting a little. He knew what that meant, so he leaned in for a sweet kiss. The request is too appealing to deny.For the next few minutes, they went to prepare for the errands they'll do outside. They both got washed up and dressed for more appropriate clothing. He hinted for her to go with comfy pants so that she could enjoy the activity he had in mind.When he was sure that they're both settled and ready, they walked hand-in-hand out of the house and to the nearby stable.They stopped in front of the door, then Blake looked at her and he could see the curiosity shown all over her bearings."Do you trust me?" He gently asks next, seemingly bringing Gwen back to reality.As they establish eye contact, he makes out the confusing look on her face although he finds it endearing that she nods either way. "I do." Somehow, her verbalizing it relaxed him more than he thought.He briefly smiles at her as a way to assure that she's safe with him before moving to push up the door with the help of the handle when he leans down to get a quick grip of it.He caught a glimpse of how instantly mesmerized Gwen was of the sight in front of her. It's been a while and he missed these stables, but he did not forget how lowkey proud he was of the good rework of what was done here.The stables are also actively maintained, and he can't thank the guys who help here enough. After a while, he leads her further inside so he could introduce her to possibly one of the sweetest and gentlest mares he got.Blake hasn't seen this horse in a while, and he wasn't prepared for the feelings that'll come with it. Initially, he was merely watching this mare grow under the care of some professionals he knew. It wasn't until Gwen came into his life that he courageously decided to give the pretty horse her own home."Gwen, this is Halo." His hand that wasn't holding hers went to the creature's head and began caressing it."She is so pretty, Blake," Gwen expresses in complete awe. He notices her hesitance in touching the horse. He waits for her to glance at him before he gives her an encouraging look. He is certain that she will be safe as long as he's here. She appears to have picked up on that when her hand proceeds to stroke Halo's head. He slowly pulls his hand away, and he watches Halo be enamored by Gwen's touch just as easy.Not long, Halo nudged Gwen's hands the moment she's about to draw it away. He lowly chuckles because the mare already has a certain liking for her even if they've only met about 15 seconds ago."She likes you already," he softly says, looking proudly at Gwen.As if that was the last piece of encouragement, he feels her other hand let go of his as it went to stroke Halo's nose. "Am I doing this right?" she whispers. This is one of those instances that he will imprint in his brain for the rest of his life because of how relaxed and carefree Gwen looks.He hums, caressing her back subconsciously. "Halo already loves your touches. Don't you, girl?" The horse nickers right after, and that had Gwen gaping at him around the same time he smiled.Blake raises his eyebrows at her before she brings back her gaze to the horse. He almost forgot why they were here for a brief second, but thankfully, he recovered although he waits for a while to let Gwen enjoy her small bonding with the sweet creature."Do you want to go around with Halo?" He gauges and stands by for her reaction."Like horseback riding?" Her eyes lit up at the premise, and the sight wasn't anything less than beautiful.He nods, and it seems to excite her which washed some of his impending worries away. He can't help it and kisses her on the forehead before gesturing to help her mount onto Halo.The saddle was set up already to his surprise, so he focuses on helping Gwen get on safely. "Hold your left hand here on the pommel, then the right hand here.""Blake, I'm a bit nervous," she confesses as she glances to him."S'okay, pretty girl. No rush," he smiles and responds softly. His hand goes to the low of her back and caresses there for a bit, in hopes of showing her that it is okay to take her time."I'll hold your waist and push you up," he begins after a while. "You swing your leg, so you can get on." He tries to be clear with his instructions despite the slow delivery of his words. He sees her nodding, so he thinks she probably doesn't mind."Can you count before you lift me?" Gwen sheepishly requests. He found it adorable with how she asked it. Either way, he bobs his head in agreement, stroking her sides before letting his hands rest on her waist.He stands behind her and silently asks if she doesn't find his grip too tight. Blake becomes paranoid for a second that he should've verbalized it instead, but she seemed to read his mind with ease. "I'm good, cowboy," she says with more confidence."1, 2, 3." Right after three, he carefully pushes Gwen up, and she does exactly what he advised. Once she mounted the horse safely, they both shared big grins on their faces. "Place your foot here in the stirrups," he pauses to let her do that and checks on both sides. "Good?"She hums in addition to nodding her head. Then, he gestures for her to wait for him to get his horse settled.Blake acts fast but careful as he walks to the stall beside Halo's to get his horse, pulling him towards the front before fully opening the doors of Halo's stall."Gentle tap to get Halo to walk. You'll do great, pretty girl," he adds. He knows that little encouragement would help her and seeing that smile afterwards was worth it.He mounts on his horse then waits for Gwen to get Halo to start walking. Once the mare did, he led the way for them to go out of the stable and start their trail. He looks back at Gwen every now and then as they stroll further from the stable to check on her. He quickly realizes how easy Halo welcomed Gwen, so he is sure that they will have a good time during this stroll.Not long, she became comfortable riding with Halo that Gwen focused on looking around, letting herself be fascinated with the scenery surrounding her. There are certain points where he sort of forgets about the path in front of him because the sight of her enthralled at the environment she's taking in was something he never knew he needed.It took him a while to realize that Gwen and Halo were now right beside him, walking at the same pace. When he does, he finds himself grinning."Blake, this is beautiful," she says. Her eyes still can't help but look around. Even though it was mostly trees she could see, he also understands because he still finds himself in awe when he takes a minute to let all of this sink in.He joins her in the sightseeing she engages in. It's not long until he's hit with the feeling of missing this, the serene emotion when he's home. There's no sense of rushing or heightened drama at bay. Home that only exudes love, warmth, and security, literally and figuratively. It's something he dares not to take for granted ever again.Not when he's here with the girl he loves with all of his heart, and the only thing that clouds his brain right now is how much he'd love for them to stay in this bubble for as long as life can let them.In this way, he can protect her, be what she deserves, and bring to life that piece of him that's been hiding for quite a while, the man who is open to love and expresses himself then shows that to others.Though he knows their responsibilities back in L.A. will call for them again, being back here, especially now that he has Gwen, does provide him this sense of courage to tackle things with much more dedication.It's the recharge he never knew he should've done. The realization dawns on him quite unexpectedly.Feeling the safest he's ever been since God knows when, he inhales and exhales deeply, making sure that there are reasonable intervals in between.He knows deep in his mind that the horses halted their tracks, and it was further confirmed when Gwen did the same thing as the sound of her deep breaths registered in his ears.They look at each other once again, not noticing immediately that they became in sync with their inhale-exhale exercise. Like it's a reflex for him, he searches for her hand and finds the calm even more when she engulfs his.He never wants to look away from her, and his heart almost flutters when he figures that it's the same for her. The content smile Gwen elicits next is something he didn't see coming. It felt like time stopped again, and the only reaction he could think of to make sure that this moment was real was to squeeze her hand.When she steadily keeps holding his, he starts praying to whoever is up there. Hoping that whatever plans life has for him, Blake wishes for her to be there with him, and he longs to also have the strength to be able to keep her by his side, that he won't anything stupid do to mess things up.Losing her scares him, but not having the chance of showing his love to her terrifies him more than his brain could comprehend.It's not always going to be an easy journey. He is aware of that. But as long as they have each other, he knows he won't lose himself with her even if he aims to give her the world.Why? Because Gwen will always be determined to remind him that if she deserves to be loved genuinely and deeply, he does too. She has been vocal about that a couple of times. He is the luckiest man because she wants to show him that herself. Sometimes, he doesn't understand why it was easier for him to push her away when he knew at some level that he couldn't keep her at arm's length.It was probably the wind or the horses nickering, but he was pulled back to reality. When he gains his bearing back, he notices that he wasn't looking at Gwen anymore.Blake searches for those gorgeous brown eyes again to his right, and she was already laying her eyes on him. She is still wearing that smile, and he quickly becomes curious.She beats him to it. "How are you feeling?" She strokes his arm as she asks."Calm." A beat. "Safe," he answers honestly."Good," she nods before eventually squeezing his hand.Something important clicks in his head. He stares at her almost intently as the thought crosses his head. I think it's time. This feels right even if it'll be heavy. He gathers some of that courage, and wants to know her say first before going through with anything. "I’d like you to meet someone. Would that be okay?"That seems to pique Gwen's curiosity again because she's nodding in no time. "Sure, cowboy," she answers sweetly. "Is it okay if we go back to the ranch for a bit to change?""Anything for you, pretty girl."--- After that little moment in the woods, they safely stroll back to the stables with their horses. Gwen didn't forget to express that she had a great time, and a huge chunk of happiness engulfs his being the moment he heard that.Though the horseback riding errand was mostly quiet, they didn't always need to do something actively to spend time together. Having each other's presence is enough for the both of them.He decided to join Gwen on changing clothes since his are also a bit sweaty because they were outside for a while. Then not long, they were off to where Blake intended to take her next.An hour later, the truck goes to a full stop, indicating their arrival, and he can already sense the incoming question from her."Why are we in a cemetery?" She figures out quickly.Blake is at a loss for words since he’s still not used to visiting one of the important people in his life in this kind of place. He gently grabs Gwen’s hand and lightly squeezes it, in hopes that she’ll understand.It took a while for Gwen to recognize the gesture. When she looks down at their intertwined hands, she leans closer to him. "I trust you," she whispers eventually, then kisses him on the cheek.About a minute or two passed by before they went to move. He hops out of the truck first then escorts her as she makes her way down.Honestly, it was him who is kind of delaying the inevitable as he slows their pace while walking inside the cemetery. He knows where to go. But the matter is, loss is not something he has always dealt with easily.He wasn't entirely nervous about telling Gwen. But at this point, he isn't certain at how much he can control his emotions every time he is here.Then again, he is with Gwen, right here, right now. He should've centered his thoughts on that beforehand since that seemed to help him push through with this.Despite the premise of the area being a cemetery, it was eerily calm. Because of the quiet, he can hear his breathing and his heart beating. Thankfully, they finally reach Richie’s grave before he could spiral into any other thoughts.He didn't plan to lay his eyes on the carved stone the moment they arrived, so he shifts his gaze to Gwen to avoid any incoming escalations. The reminder of having her beside him somehow releases a few of the knots mounting in his shoulders.Blake was too focused on her that he catches the second she looks at him, her eyes portraying nothing but patience. With her free hand, he feels it stroke his cheek slowly. He closes his eyes for a bit to regain some of his bearings.Though he knows Gwen has no plans on rushing him to fill her in, he still needs to make an effort to let this move forward. He tries, and that's what matters."Gwen," he starts. The emotions haven't hit him yet, so he uses that opportunity to keep on talking. "This is Richie, my older brother." Then, he gestures to continue with his introductions. "Rich, this is Gwen.""I’m sorry," she genuinely says after a while. He is blankly staring at the grave, but he can feel her wrap her arms around his midsection, something he silently appreciates."S’okay, pretty girl," he replies, his voice a bit faint. But due to the silence and them being entangled to one another, her chances of hearing him are fairly high."Car accident." He felt Gwen tense the minute he speaks up. His hand goes up and down her back to help relieve it. "I was 14. Couldn’t do anything to help or save him."Blake is starting to feel his throat constrict at the thought of his brother and losing him altogether, but he continues. "He was a great big brother, very supportive and caring." He pauses for a bit to manage the impending crack. "He had big dreams. Looked up to him because he was a good son and a good man."He feels Gwen shift, then he notices in his peripheral how she keeps her gaze on him patiently and listens intently. He doesn't have to completely look at her to see that's she's glancing at the grave every now and then."Rich once told me that I should hang on to a love that makes me want to grow and be better. Something that feels right no matter how scary."It doesn't take any hard effort to know that he realizes this more lately as his relationship with Gwen progresses."Do you get that kind of love?" The way she asked resulted into him hearing the insecurity laced behind her words. His heart hurts for her, knowing that at one point she didn’t feel enough.He knows how much courage it can take to spit out that question. He faces her and keeps her hands on his sides."I have." It wasn’t much, but he emphasized it in such a gentle way while looking straight into her eyes.A few moments of silence pass and Blake sheds a little tear. This time around he’s not that afraid to show Gwen. "He would’ve loved you." His voice becomes shaky yet he disregards it. He knows that she can’t take compliments that well, but it was important for him to let her know that detail in the least.One of his hands goes to cup her cheek, then he presses his thumb lightly via his touches and strokes to help in showing that he means those words wholeheartedly."Thank you, Blake," she says next. At first, he was confused as to what reason. She followed up not long after. "For letting me meet him."He is at a loss for words again and needs more of Gwen’s closeness and presence, so he plants a long kiss on top of her head and lingers there. It was a way to say what he couldn’t. He’s an important person to me, pretty girl. I wouldn’t let this opportunity pass. This is him wanting to show Gwen all of him. He feels like she’s only seen his life in L.A. which is always work and sometimes a little dramatic. Even if the possibility of her not liking their differences scares him, he still wanted to show this aspect of his life because his family means a lot to him too. Seeing her appreciate and let all of this sink in intensifies his love for her more.She knows no signs of running away. She is here. She wants to stay, hopefully.Suddenly, he’s full on crying. The wave of emotions hit him fiercely and unexpectedly. He didn’t mean for this to happen here, but the tears are already flowing before he can hold them back. He feels Gwen cup his cheeks gently. Her eyes only have patience and understanding in them.“Why do they leave?” He brokenly whispers. The words had a deeper meaning to it, but he hiccups in the next moment which cuts his line of thought at the same time.No matter how nervous he can get sometimes and when he thinks he’s opening up too much, he always feels safe to break on her. There’s this ease that comes when she’s around. He only prays to the heavens that she is by his side forever.“Richie may have left physically, but he’s right here.” One of Gwen’s hands softly rests at the spot where his heart is situated. “As long as you remember him, he’s here.”“Although I do know what you mean.” She shares next. “Some people aren’t always meant to stay in our lives. Sometimes they come to teach us a lesson. But that is not always the case, Blake. Do know that there are people who plan and want to stay.” He looks at her and he sees how her gaze never waivers, especially when she says the last few lines.“People leave," he shakily says, "I’m scared." His fear for that goes way deeper in some other aspects, but he’s not about to open those wounds yet. The idea of Richie leaving this planet so soon already overwhelms him.“I know it is scary. But can I show you that this time it’s different?” Her tone is so understanding that he is almost swept off his feet. Please stay. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. The latter part of that statement had his back and legs tensing a bit.Words seem to fail him at this moment, so he nods and hugs her with a sense of eagerness but making sure not to suffocate Gwen. He kisses her temple briefly, wanting to let her know via that gesture how much he loves her."I’m here, Blake," she softly emphasizes next. They're both aware that no matter how simple that sounds, it provides that much needed assurance that the two of them would want to hear every now and then.Like there's some sort of power from above that joined along when Gwen said that, those same words begin to calm him more than anything else. As if his brother and the love of his life were meaning to take those into heart, though in their unique ways.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
She felt something warm against her neck. It was strangely comforting which is why she further relaxed into the mattress, keeping her eyes shut and trying to go back to sleep.Then, the warmth was there again, getting a little ticklish. She could feel it in one particular area at the back of her neck. As she slowly became lucid due to that, her mind began to register that it was something soft.
Definitely not the pillow.
It was gone, then it came back after a few seconds. She got curious about what's happening. So instead of submitting into the want to sleep for a few more minutes, she faintly groaned and stretched her limbs like a cat before gradually opening her eyes.Gwen instantly remembers that she and Blake are in a spoon position with the sight she's met. She felt that warm touch again, so she looked over her shoulder and her guess was confirmed.Blake has his arm draped over her midsection, and she can actively feel the gentle kisses he's showering all over her. This time, he moves a bit to her shoulder."Mmm." She is still a little groggy, but she hopes that it sends the right message that she loves what he's doing. She can't imagine a better way to wake up to other than feeling this man's love and affection. It's something they mutually love, and it makes her mornings much better. She hopes it's the same for him too."Good morning." His voice is extra thick during the morning. It does things to her that her mind fails to explain for now because she's in the process of gaining full consciousness.She wants to respond so badly, but the way Blake continues to launch kiss after kiss on her neck and shoulder directs her concentration to something else.The gesture felt soothing on her end that it had her eyes falling shut as she let him have his way with her. It's always been this good between her and Blake, no matter how simple the action may be or how incredibly passionate things have developed into.She needs more, so she does a small movement with her head for him to have better access. He doesn't hesitate to leave love marks there once she does. The moan was out of her mouth in no time.Realizing that this isn't gonna escalate into what she really wants, she swallows and tries to speak out something. But he seemed to have plans in his mind when his hand went lower until it got to the bottom of her night gown."Morning, cowboy," she murmurs. His hand isn't where she wishes it is yet, but it feels her up with whatever skin he could reach. She is determined though as she looks over to him again.He stopped his movements, and they established eye contact. Blake's baby blues are shining right in front of her, and she reciprocates his gaze with such love and longing.Suddenly, nothing else mattered. All she could ever ask for was right here already. It also happened that they are the things that matter. Them together, safety, comfort, love, and that look in his eyes every time they're faced with this situation are what gave her the confidence to get what's good."You better kiss me or I swear to god-" Her voice sounded a bit deep, probably because of being freshly woken up, but Blake didn't have to be asked twice and carefully cut her off with one sensual kiss on her lips.Nothing is more energizing than a morning make-out and with Blake, they have no problem spending hours doing so. It's another shared interest of theirs in terms of the affection side, and it's got her feeling like they're a perfect piece for each other. This moment wasn't any less than that either.Things continue to escalate as they both return the kiss more passionately than the previous. The position is sort of weird, but they make it work. She can't bring herself to care right now. Gwen’s right hand immediately goes to cup his face while the one splayed across the bed grips the sheets harder, especially when she feels his hand go higher, lifting her nightgown."What do you want, pretty girl?" He asks. She recognizes the tone to be caring and attentive, but she can also sense his control slipping.She looks him straight in the eye, hers filled with lust and want as she genuinely means her next words. "I don’t want you to stop touching me."Gwen can hear the groan that he tried to hide, but like what she said, he doesn't need to be told twice. He took off her nightgown, a little clumsily but she doesn't give a damn, and on the floor it goes before he attacks her neck again while he plays with her with his fingers.Blake starts with her breasts because he always does. Sometimes it's really good, but it can be frustrating due to her impatience. Even if that's the case, she can never control her reactions when it comes to the stimulation he provides. He keeps giving her the tease and the build up. All she could do was grunt or moan."Blake-" She breathes. Like they're in sync his hand goes lower, caressing her inner thighs. She can feel some movements behind her by the way the bed dips, at the same time it halts Blake's tracks.She could almost whine with how close his hand is to where she wants it. She's about to protest when Blake abruptly slipped in two fingers inside her which got her exhaling deeply as her walls adjusted.She can feel herself growing wetter as she tries to blindly reach behind her to tell him he has to move faster, and she knew he got it when he started relentlessly slipping his fingers in and out of her faster. The change of pace surprised her, but she can never complain when it's this good."Oh god, Blake. More." She never pictured herself as someone who was responsive, but here she is. He does that come-hither motion and it got her screaming into the pillow. She can feel herself getting closer when her stomach begins to tighten and her thighs are starting to shake."You like that?" He whispers against her ear, making her shiver. For some reason, it added to the pleasure she was feeling. She nods frantically, and he gives her what she wants.But like the teaser he is, Blake pulls out his fingers. She whines when she realizes, but he doesn’t give her time to breathe when he eagerly lifts her leg up and replaces his fingers with his member. Gwen elicits a deep guttural sound right after when he buries himself inside of her in one smooth stroke."I like that sound you make," he drawls while he lets her adjust."It’s because you fuck me so good," she says breathily.She holds onto his hand that's on her hip, and that gives Blake the signal to start moving.She couldn't help but moan every time Blake thrusts into her. "Yes! Oh God." She takes him with all she’s got. Even with the position limiting her movement, Blake keeps hitting close to home with their bodies joining. It has her heart feeling like it's about to burst with how much he makes her feel in a short fraction of time.Blake keeps kissing her neck, consistent with his in-and-out movements, then flips them so she could lay on top of him. He hugs her and plays with her chest. He garners one deep thrust, and she gets the same sound out of her again."So deep." So good. Gwen moans as she accommodates him, also cutting her clear train of thought about it."Am I hurting you?" Him slowing down is actual torture, but she knows it's out of understanding. Even with poor concentration at her disposal, she does her best to answer the question."No. Please keep it going." It was almost a whine, and she heard a brief chuckle from him. With that, he pushes in and pulls out fervently, determined to get her to the edge much closer as the seconds pass by. She grabs his forearm when she feels his thrusts go deep again, making her eyes roll back and her mouth go out of control with her whimpers."Blake, I’m so close." She barely managed when she felt his thumb play with her clit. The added stimulation has her losing her mind."I know," Blake grunts, which could only mean he's also getting closer. "Get what’s good, baby. I wanna see you, feel you, fall apart," he emphasizes.His voice remains controlled and gentle despite the passion that fuels this moment. It's always been like this with him. He can make love to her, love her, and not hurt her. She thought those two things were mutually exclusive. He proves to her in every chance he's got that it isn't.She traps him with whatever strength she’s got left with her legs and does as he says, her movements in sync with his. Her legs are shaking once again, and after he does that one deep push that she always likes, the intensity of it has her entire body shuddering as she lets go with all of her being.Gwen screams into the air as she comes. Blake helped hold her in place as he fucks her through her high until he got his release shortly after, feeling his warmth when he shoots into her.She goes limp on top of him. Her chest rises up and down in short intervals until it normalizes after a couple of minutes. Blake continues to kiss her shoulder every now and then. She also heard the low 'i love you' after one particular sweet kiss. It got her smiling even with her eyes closed."Good morning to me." She giggles once she's confident she got her regular voice back.---"Gwen! Blake! Hello again. Come, come inside," Dot greets them excitedly while walking down the steps of the porch."Hi, Dot!" She engages in the hug. The woman's open arms felt welcoming like the first time, and it reminded her of her family. The thought had her smiling in the midst of it.After her and Dot's hug, she watches Blake do the same. They just saw each other two days ago, but she understands that Dot doesn't see Blake all the time, so with the smaller intervals between visits, the mother is enthralled to see her son when time allows them."Endy is already inside. The kids are too. They are ecstatic to meet you, Gwen," Dot expresses as they walk towards the entrance and into the house together."I hope they like me," she sheepishly confesses. She glances at Blake, and she sees nothing but support from him, then he scoots closer to kiss her on her temple."They will, sweetheart. I can promise you that," Dot reassures. It has her speechless with gratitude, and she gives off a warm smile in hopes of compensating with the lack of words."Uncle Blake!" A little girl exclaims, running towards them then jumping into Blake's arms when she gets closer."Missed you, Ryan," Blake says as he hugs the girl tightly.The sight pulls so many heartstrings, and she is glad that she gets an opportunity to stand back and watch this bit unfold. She has seen Blake interact with her niece and nephew when he met her family. But seeing him with these kids that are close to him and they openly expressed their love for him is a view to behold.He is a natural with them, and seeing him with his niece and nephew helps her further understand and appreciate why Stella and Leo were drawn to him immediately.Blake carefully adjusts the little girl in his arms before approaching her. She is momentarily nervous, but his comforting smile erases all of that quickly."Ryan, this is Gwen." He began. The little girl shifts her gaze to her, and Gwen manages a small wave. Once Ryan smiles back, she becomes at ease, knowing that this is a good start. She loves kids and dreams of having them herself, though that's going to be a topic for another day. She knows these kids mean a lot to Blake since he has mentioned them before, so she will do her best to show her love the same way their uncle would."You're very pretty." She hears a small male voice to her right, and when Gwen glances, she assumes this little boy to be Jace.She can't accept compliments properly for the life of her which got her feeling a little flustered."She is," Blake softly speaks. "Pretty girl, this is Jace.""Hi, Jace! It's nice to meet you and your sister. Your Uncle Blake always mentions that he loves you guys and that you're great kids.""Uncle Blake is a cool uncle!" Ryan says. "Can I show you a toy that Daddy brought me, Uncle Blake?"Gwen catches Blake's gaze at her, and she gently nods at him as her way of telling that she'll be fine. With Ryan still being carried by him, they walk together upstairs while she takes a seat on the couch and Jace goes closer to her, attempting to show something."What you got there, Jace?" She has a small gut feeling that the little boy isn't far from Leo's age, so she does that baby voice that her nephew likes, hoping Jace won't mind."Horse!" The little boy manages. She giggles at the cute effort to pronounce it correctly. When she sees that he's trying to get on the sofa, she helps him up."Do you have a name for your horse?" She lightly asks once the boy is settled in."Horsey! He has nice brown color," Jace's words came in a bit slow, but she didn't mind. These are the times that remind her of a child's sweet innocence which made her feel overwhelmed in a good way. The smile on her face never wears off as the little boy turns his horse in various directions to show her the toy."Oh my." Someone who sounded similar to Blake joins in. "He's got you entertained with his horse. Doesn't he?" She looks up around the same time the woman chuckles. "Hi! I'm Endy. You must be Gwen."That's when it properly hit her that she's face to face with Blake's sister. She expected herself to be very nervous, but the woman's warm smile prevented that from happening."Hi, Endy! It's great to finally meet you!" She stands up, briefly checking on Jace before accepting Endy's invite for a hug. That helps her feel more at ease, then they're back to sitting on the couch together."It's great to meet you. When mom said that Blake's girlfriend is really gorgeous, I never imagined you'd be so pretty. Gosh. I'm sorry. Don't mind me," Endy ends up chuckling again by the end, and she wishes she is good with taking these things, but these kinds of statements really catch her off guard."I try to present myself well," she shyly goes for that instead, hoping that her slight awkwardness won't insinuate anything bad."Believe me when I say you look great," Endy says. "I hope you can give Blake some pointers, especially with the damn jeans. He's like the big boss, and he still wears jeans. Jeez!"That made her laugh a little out loud. She loves Blake the way he is, and she wouldn't change a thing. Though, it's hard not to find it funny when it's their sister or best friend joking about it."I think he's cute," she confesses out of the blue. It made her blush a little, realizing that the subtle crush may have shown."Yup. You're in love," Endy jokes. "In all seriousness, I'm glad he's with someone great."That piqued her curiosity because they haven't known each other for more than five minutes. Don't get her wrong. She is absolutely grateful for the warm welcome, but it does leave her clueless at some points, mainly in circumstances like this.Her track record with meeting the families wasn't always so good. She is utterly glad this one turned out so much better.The big question mark must have manifested on her face because Endy explained it in no time."My brother looks the most relaxed since I don't know when. It's hard not to notice. Plus, I got to see him be openly affectionate to you from afar. It's not that often that he's like that, especially lately."She smiles as an effort to acknowledge the first parts of Endy's response. She also understands what the woman meant about the latter. Gwen can tell that even if Blake hasn't been home for a while, they saw some of the changes he made upon himself.She knows that it must have been hard from his family's point of view to watch him retreat like it's the proper coping mechanism. She hopes her love will be enough to convince him that there is nothing wrong with being out there and letting people see you for you, not what other people push or demand you to be in an unhealthy way."He's a great guy," she starts. "He's just been through a lot. He's so strong, and it's one of the things I admire about him.""That is true," Endy states. As if it's on cue, Blake and Ryan are on their way down the steps of the staircase. He does a small wave at Gwen and Endy before heading to the farther side of the living room to entertain Ryan some more."Blake has told me that you guys are really close." She decides to start a different topic herself this time around as they observe Blake and Ryan. She catches Endy's smile before the woman looks at her and nods."Yup. It's just me and him after our older brother, Richie, died. Did he tell you about him?" Gwen nods, listening actively. "Oh wow." She doesn't know why that's the reaction from Endy, like it caught her off guard.She was about to be worried when a heartfelt smile slowly forms on Endy's face, and she feels the woman's hand briefly taps hers. "I'm glad."The way it was briefly cut short feeds her curiosity even more. She waits it out, knowing that's the best way to handle it."You're different," Endy speaks. "In a very good way, I mean." A beat. "You accept all of him. I'm glad he's found the person that genuinely does. He has a lot in his backstory."Gwen nods because she knows, then Blake's sister continues. "I have met his exes and I wasn’t particularly fond of them. Not gonna dwell into that." Endy inserts a small chuckle before saying anything else. "He hasn’t been this less tense, heck even comfortable, in a long time. Though this tough exterior began like a year ago, there has been signs it’s bound to happen ever since he left Oklahoma to pursue a stable career.""Blake has a tendency to be hard on himself when he shouldn't be," she says with a hint of worry in her tone. She got to see some of it firsthand, and she can remember how much her heart broke seeing him blame himself for everything that went wrong in his life, even if they were beyond his control."Yeah. But I'm confident that you're there to remind him that he shouldn't be." She nods eagerly at that. Another smile and pat from Endy confirms to her that the woman is glad that they have each other. In all honesty, she is too.She can handle any storm that comes their way, as long as she and Blake go through it together."Anyways. Let's shake off those sad parts. Tell me more about you, Gwen." She giggles at the instant switch, but she doesn't mind. She's just happy that the conversation with Endy flows freely. Everything is going well with her meeting Blake's family."Oh um. I just. I guess we can say that I'm very lucky to be one of those people who has everything I needed growing up. I'm grateful for my parents, and I got an awesome brother named Todd. We're a pretty small family, but we got the best kids we could ever ask for, a niece and nephew too. Kind of similar with you guys.""That's good!" Endy exclaims. "Maybe one day when our families get to meet up, your niece and nephew could have a playdate with Ryan and Jace.""I think that's a great idea. They'll really love to have more playmates and they'd be happy to welcome you guys.""Then, it's settled," Endy gently claps her hands together, and the prospect of that excites Gwen, knowing that it'll most likely happen in the near future.They talk some more about the nature of their work, and since Gwen and Blake work together, Endy was somehow familiar with the field she's in. Nonetheless, they had a meaningful exchange about it and are getting closer by the second.Ryan's giggle interrupts them from their conversation which got them looking at the commotion."Uncle Blake, that's not fair! You know my tickle spot!" Ryan shrieks."Tickle!" Jace tries to join in, and it gets her and Endy chuckling at the sight."He has a great bond with them," she genuinely expresses. She loves to see him happy and carefree while interacting with other people, especially his family and the kids."They do," Endy agrees. "He does everything he can for them. There was a time that he fixed Ryan’s costume when it almost got ruined the day before their school's Halloween party. I didn’t know that Ryan shared about it when she talked to Blake, then when the night came, I was surprised to see Blake show up at our front door."Hearing that story warms her heart so much that she thinks it's about to burst with the love she never thought she could feel for him. She has always loved Blake's dedication for the small things and big things, even if it wasn't noticed right away. He makes an effort for the people he loves."Jace is still a bit too young, but he likes to cling to anyone," Endy says. "Jace loves to play with whatever he sees in Blake’s house. But lately, since Blake isn’t always home, he sends Jace some toy cars and toy animals and he likes them a lot."As she hears those words, she watches Blake play with Ryan and Jace. It kind of looks like he's losing, but she can see it in his face that he doesn't mind. She loves to see his tries in making some funny faces which got the two kids into a fit of giggles.It was like the moment slowed down, and she got to see this part of him that he rarely shares with anyone. It's one of his purest and rawest forms. She knows a sight doesn't get better than that. It's something she hopes the world could see. The side of him she'll dedicatedly protect yet ensure that it radiates off of him.She knows he's loveable. The moment unfolding is a clear affirmation of it.This is a significant reminder about who Blake really is. He is a good man with a good heart. She can feel it everyday with the love he showers her, and now she watches that same love engulf those sweet kids."I'm glad he came home. He was nervous about it, but I know he misses you guys a lot," Gwen shares."We miss him a lot too. I sort of understand why sometimes it feels hard to go home with a busy schedule and with everything that has happened." At this point, Gwen is not sure how much his family is aware about the pain Blake went through in the recent times. But, she also knows at the back of her mind that sometimes you don't have to tell your family because for some reason, they'll know."Blake is a great male figure even if he lacked some of it growing up," Endy opens up. "We were lucky we had our stepdad a couple of years after Richie died."The first part of Endy's sharing raised some questions in her head although she doesn't say a word about it. She respects whatever they wish to share with her, and in due time, if Endy or Blake happens to stumble upon it in future talks. She will always have the heart to listen and be there for them, especially Blake."You and Blake are amazing people, Endy." She goes for reassurance instead. It eventually results in a genuine smile from Endy plus a quick side hug."Oh my," Endy chuckles after a while. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to share all of this to you so suddenly and in one sitting." Gwen takes advantage of the pause by placing her hand on top of Endy's as her way of telling it's alright. "I just." A beat. "Blake is a good guy. Despite all that’s happened to him."She understands what the woman meant by that. She wholeheartedly agrees. "He is. He's worth keeping, and I'm lucky to have him. We had a little bit of a confusing start, but he is great. Those people he had before were just mean to him.""I couldn’t agree more." It was Endy's turn to hold hers. This time, it was both of her hands. She knows this means something serious, so she listens carefully. "Gwen, I’m glad he has you," Endy adds sincerely. "But I know my brother’s tendencies. So if he did something that hurts you, you can call us so we can talk some sense into him."She's also aware of what that meant, and she finds solace in the fact that she has Blake's family's support. "I know he wouldn’t want to do that," she says. "He is trying. I’m just proud to be with him. Sounds cheesy but I love him.""I know. It’s written all over y'all’s faces. I haven’t seen the disgusting part yet, I guess, but it’s cute," Endy chuckles by the end of it, but Gwen picked up on the sentiment behind those words easily."Mommy? Gwen?" Ryan politely interrupts. It got both women looking at the little girl attentively."What is it, sweetheart?" She lets Endy take the lead with this one.Her focus is a little out of it as the conversation that recently transpired has her floating in a good way and wholly realizing that she's in this for the long haul with the more she discovers what it means to be on the receiving end of Blake's love and care."Can Gwen come play with us?" The girl's tone switched to excitement in a matter of seconds. "Uncle Blake says you're great at this game we're playing. Can you help us beat him?"She smiles when it dawns on her that there isn't any other place she'd rather be.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
He just has to take a deep breath.It's fairly simple, but something was hindering him from doing so. He looks around trying to identify things he can see, but his vision is quite blurry, or more like teary.Then, it becomes harder to get that deep breath. He can't even hear himself blow through his mouth.His senses feel heightened, yet he can’t even utilize them at this moment. He also can't seem to control how his body is reacting to whatever it is he was supposed to be reacting to in the first place.He wants to panic, but then again he really feels out of control with everything. He tries to get his brain to work.If he wants to get himself out of whatever this is, he needs to know what’s going on. And for Pete’s sake, where the hell am I? "Blake?" Hearing that from somewhere gave him a small sense of hope. He attempts to shake it off, but even while doing the motion with his head, his vision doesn't clear up."Blake?" He hears again. When he figured that it sounded worried, it made him more determined to get out of this state. He focuses on where that voice came from, and starts with forcefully huffing the breaths out his chest since trying the slow deep breaths wasn't working.Everything else around him seemed to cooperate because he started feeling something grazing his chest, but it wasn't the feeling of the air escaping his lungs.Suddenly, his eyes opened and he tried to sit straight up, but there was a weight that was holding him down. He scratches his eyes with his free hand and that's when his vision becomes clearer.He takes his time to focus on the present. When he is sure he's mostly back to his bearings, his gaze focuses on the beautiful blonde on top of him."Hey," Gwen softly says. He can sense that she wanted to touch his face, but she didn't do so immediately and let her hand slowly glide upwards from his chest.She has a worried look on her face but does her best to give a positive outlook. He feels guilty that she has to deal with this at random nights. It's not like he's trying to recover from some traumatic past like some sort of abuse, but for some reason, he gets these episodes and he feels extra vulnerable when it happens."You're okay," Gwen reassures. Her gentle tone is what grounds him in this moment. He searches for her hand and places his on top, not holding it yet but he just wants to feel her more even if she is already laying on him.A few seconds later, he can feel the air enter and leave his lungs. He feels his shoulders relax when he realizes. He is seemingly calming down and he shoots a short prayer of gratitude that he got out of whatever the heck that was.He also includes Gwen in that gratitude prayer even if there is that underlying worry that this would imply something different on her part.They had a good day. He hung out with his niece, nephew, Gwen, and the rest of his family. There wasn’t supposed to be a reason for this to even happen in the first place."I'm sorry," he shakily whispers. He wants to let her know that they're good, that nothing wrong happened. At the moment, he can't seem to get the right words out."Don't be," she gently responds. "I'm here. No plans on going anywhere."He can't even begin to express how much that means the world to him. It is as if she was effortlessly trying to shut down every fear or so much as an antagonistic thought that enters his head.His heart wasn't rapidly beating anymore, but he can feel it thumping once he notices it. He wants the intense feelings washing through him to be over because it's already disrupting the peace he's starting to build for a while."How are you feeling?" Gwen meekly asks. She proceeds to completely lay on him, her temple resting on the spot above his collarbone. He is still preparing on how to process her question, so he places his hand on her waist and lightly squeezes there to let her know that he likes what she did and would love for her to stay like this."Anxious," he confesses first. He doesn't want to look like he's giving her the short end of the stick by giving a one-worded answer, but it's what he can manage for now."Guilty." There's that little 'sorry' lingering deep in his head, but he tries to actively remember what Gwen said a while ago. "Grateful." It sounds like a rollercoaster, but it's the truth. He's anxious that this is taking place now when they had a good day yesterday. He's guilty that she has to see this. But regardless of all of that, he's deeply grateful that she's here with him. She continues to give him the honor of being able to hold her like this even if his emotions could get all over the place. Something he was unfamiliar with and is trying to learn that he won't always be received negatively now that he is with Gwen."That's okay," Gwen says next. He felt her move her head after that. He does the same until they establish eye contact."A lot?" He slowly inquires."It's a lot for you," she gently emphasizes. "And that's alright. We're human," she adds as a matter of fact."We're okay," he whispers. It's a way for him to reassure Gwen that it's not the day they had, and, hopefully, to remind himself that it is the case for them."We are," she briefly smiles at him. He can't help but think how beautiful she really is. It's a smile he'll always want to see and will make sure that she wears it on her face as much as humanly possible."Just be here with me, 'kay?" Gwen cups his cheek as she tells him that, and he nods without hesitation. Stay with me. He says in his mind. With the way he looks with so much longing in his eyes, he is about completely sure she got that. It may not be exact, but the idea is there in his gaze."I love you," he goes for that finally. He realizes that sometimes life can make you feel a lot of things at the same time. Despite your personal turmoil, there is still the love that you feel for those who matter the most to you. He tries to express it whenever he can to her. The last thing he wants is Gwen second-guessing how much and how deeply he feels for her."I love you." She lightly squeezes his cheek before giving it a sweet peck. That gave so much flutters in his heart. And then, there was that peace he's been trying to find in the past while.He starts caressing her hair, knowing she likes that. It, once again, grounds him at the same time. When she snuggles further into his touch, he breathes in her scent, finding that shampoo he figures she always uses. Basking in something familiar will hopefully help him more."Thank you." It was for a lot of things that she did for him tonight. It may not seem much to others, but it was more than enough for him. He kisses her forehead and lingers there for an extra minute. "For everything." He can't help but follow that up even if it's short.He wants her to know, not just through figuring it out via his gestures.When she releases a faint sigh and holds his hand, it provides him that comfort he somehow missed before everything that went down. He closes his eyes and snuggles into Gwen, not minding that she will be his pillow for the rest of the night."Try finding some sleep again, 'kay? I'm right here," Gwen murmurs. "Always."---"Uncle Blake! Look at Mrs. Monkey!!" He chuckles at Ryan's excitement over the animals. The kid's energy has her carrying herself from one spot to the other. It was Gwen who can mostly keep up since it was her first time in The Oklahoma Zoo. Nonetheless, he also appreciates the effort of being included.Jace, on the other hand, is carried by Gwen. After playing with her yesterday, Jace feels more comfortable clinging to Gwen. He feels so relieved that his sister's kids love her. He knows a thing or two about how loveable she is."I want to say that I feel sad for being replaced, but it's nice to have a small break from your children being attached to your hip." He hears Endy chuckle, walking right beside him.He looks to Endy with a small smile as he nods. He looks at the view in front of him again, and he is hit with so many emotions.This is probably what they commonly say as having time stop for you. He feels safe out in the open with the love of his life right in front of him, embracing who he is as a person and genuinely reciprocating the warm welcome his family gave her.He hopes the feeling lasts as long as it can, since it perfectly makes up for what happened a few hours back during the early morning."Hey." Endy softly says, lightly tapping at his shoulder. He immediately snaps out of it and looks around.He realizes Gwen and the kids are out of his line of sight. "Where's Gwen?" He stutters, but Endy didn't point it out and he's extremely thankful for that."Ryan and Jace are dragging her around the zoo. They think the animals will wander off and Gwen won’t see all of them. I couldn’t catch up, so I told Gwen that we’ll meet at the café for lunch after they go around."He smiles at the thought of Gwen being bombarded with animal information. She'll manage. "Am glad Ryan and Jace are happily welcoming her," he follows. He decides to overlook the view to his right. It's a river that streams towards somewhere beyond the zoo.This zoo took pride in mostly following the natural form of the landscape when it was being built. They just added a few establishments for ensuring the safety of the visitors and animals, of course. Then, there's the rest of the expected stuff.Endy joins him in admiring the view. "I can’t blame them. Gwen is really a nice person. They’re drawn to her almost instantly."He doesn't immediately answer and lets the silence take over. His sister didn't seem to mind. His mind isn't on overdrive right now, and he likes to indulge on that as much as he can.At first, Blake is worried about where to take the conversation. Not until Endy beats him to it, "It’s been a while since you’ve been here right?"He thought she was talking about Oklahoma, so he readily responded. "Yeah," he goes with a small nod, "Sorry 'bout that." He wasn't even thinking about apologizing, but it just came out of his mouth. Habit. His sister, though, carefully and quickly shuts it down. "Don’t apologize, Blake." He can feel her gaze on him and he automatically stays very still to keep his attention. "I know how busy it can get. Same goes for me. Just realized that being back here, we actually got quite the memories don't ya think?”He eventually realizes that Endy was referring to this zoo and he catches the moment that his brain processes the many memories they had here. "Yeah. Lot has changed here too."Since he manages a firm related to construction, he recognizes the necessary changes the zoo made. Some areas were unfamiliar to him, but as the memories of crossing this same bridge when he was younger hits him, he knows this is still the same zoo he'd always go to as a kid."Yeah." He hears softly from Endy.He finally looks at his sister and is instantly confused by her knowing gaze. When he tries to think about the possible meaning for a bit, he panics slightly. "I’ll make it up to you guys." He stammers once again, his voice catching up on his nerves.Endy places her hand on his back and gently rubs there. "I know." She pauses for a bit. "Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?"His look of confusion was probably too obvious right now that it had Endy chuckling briefly. It didn't take her too long to explain what she meant."You don’t have to spill everything to me right here, right now." His sister states. "Don't you worry. Gwen didn’t say anything to me. But I'm your sister and mom is, well, mom."Endy's soft smile reminds him of how she always had his back even when they were children. There's no pressure, just comfort and a safe space where he knows he can be a kid. Endy and Richie have always been the best siblings to him. It didn't matter how quite far their age gap was. When it comes to his childhood—something that reminded him of how simple life could be handled—they always found a way to make sure he had a good time, that the good memories will be more than enough not to dwell too much on the bad ones.Now as an adult, he finally has someone who he knows he's safe enough to be who he is. There's no fear in speaking his mind and expressing how he feels. A look of understanding from those gorgeous brown eyes and it cancels every single doubt that threatens to enter his mind.At that thought, he takes a deep breath before he decides to speak. "She grounds me." He says, not expecting how genuine it was going to sound. "Reminds me of all the good this world has."That last sentence was sort of a whisper, but he's sure that Endy is near enough to hear it. It's the first time he said that out in the open. Regardless, it's the truth and he knows that matters the most."I know." Endy nods, understanding what he meant. "I always catch the way you look at her." With that, he blushes a little. If there's one thing he can't help, it's the way he looks at her like she hung the moon. "But I also know you can be a pain in the ass," she adds.He couldn't contain the chuckle the moment he heard that, and so did Endy. He knows a thing or two about that. At times, he'd feel guilty, but at the moment, it's a good topic for the joke."You better hold onto her, ‘kay?" Endy spoke before he could think of a response. "You two are good together.""That’s the plan," he says with much determination. He looks at Endy again with a small smile and nods to seal his words.A few seconds later, Endy's phone rang. "I think this is Gwen. Oh and, Blake?" She calls his attention one more time to say something before answering the phone. "You’re a good man, a genuinely good and really strong man," Endy gently emphasizes. "She knows that."That isn’t lost on Blake as the statement hits him like a truck.---
At first, he was scared of touching the rabbit, but after it repeatedly purrs from his gentle caresses, he quickly relaxes.
"See?" The zoo lady excitedly says. "You're a natural. Little bunny likes you already."
"He's very fluffy," Blake states. He checks the ground if it's okay to sit down. When he realizes it is, he takes a seat and the little animal automatically goes to his lap. "Do you have a name? What can we name you?"
"Little bunny doesn't have a name yet. I think it's perfect if you name him."
He starts thinking deeply. He wants to name him something like cloudy or whitey, but those sound too common.
"Do you want to feed him?" The lady carefully interrupts, though he nods. "I'll go into the back for a sec, and you can be the one to give little bunny his food."
"Okay, Miss." He goes back to petting the rabbit, still fascinated how easily it warmed up to him. When the rabbit proceeds to lay down on his lap, he smiles proudly. He can't wait to show his dad how brave he was in handling the animals.
"I'm gonna name you 'Bunny'. It's simple, but memorable and you're cute anyways!" He excitingly concludes. "Papa, look! Bunny likes me and I'm holding him."
He looks back to the entrance where he knows his dad will be standing, but he quickly becomes confused when he couldn’t spot him. He looks around some more and doesn't recognize a single face on the people walking by outside.
"Papa?" He calls out, never stopping with turning his head around. He doesn't want to stand so suddenly since it might frighten Bunny, so he keeps that in mind while still looking for his dad.
"Papa?" No one was responding and all he got was a look from a passerby. It wasn't long before the person begins walking again.
"I don't know where Papa is, Bunny. But he'll be really happy once he sees me holding you. I don't think we can take you home, but maybe I'll visit here always, so we can be best friends." He talks to Bunny like his new-found friend, and when the little animals purrs again, his smile stretches wide.
"Blake? Are you here?" He looks up again to find Endy and Richie rapidly walking towards him.
"Endy! Richie! This is Bunny, my new friend. Look!"
"Aww he's so cute," Richie states as he crouches down to Blake's level. "What are you doing here, by the way, Blake?" Richie calmly asks.
"Papa said I can look around and see some animals. I found this rabbit place and I went in. He was supposed to be by the gate," Blake states as-a-matter-of-fact, oblivious to what's going on.
He sees Endy and Richie exchange gazes. He's curious to know what's going on, so he asks. "Richie, Endy, where's Papa?"
Then, there was silence. He thought they didn’t hear his question, but before he could ask again, one of his siblings started talking.
"He's at the restaurant, buying us snacks. He told us to come pick you up here." Endy answers, a little fast and her voice shaky. He's not sure why.
"But I really wanna feed Bunny. The lady is getting his food at the back. Can I feed him first? Please?" He moves on to the next topic rather quickly, not wanting to leave Bunny behind so soon.
"Okay, we can do that." Richie gently smiles. "There's the lady."
"Oh, hello. You must be his big brother and big sister. He's about to feed little bunny here. Have you decided to name him yet?"
"I named him Bunny!" Blake proudly states.
All of them laughed in unison as the lady handed him some bunny food in a bowl. "Classic, Blake," Endy says.
"Blake, how long has this animal been endangered?"He snaps out of it when Gwen's voice registered in his head. He instantly remembers he was holding her close, so he tries not to move so sudden. He looks down to Gwen and finds her curious gaze waiting for him.He decides to be honest and prompts her to ask again. "Sorry. Can you uh," he stammers, but Gwen catches on quickly."This one right here," she points in front of them. "How long has it been endangered?"They’re at the Wildlife Sanctuary now, and this place houses some endangered animals that an organization is taking care of. They open the sanctuary to the public to educate the locals.He finally focuses on the animal in front of them. The name of the species hasn't registered yet in his brain, but he knows what it is. He hopes his slowness isn't too obvious. "Been like that since I was a kid." That's what he can immediately recall."Poor bird," Ryan sadly says as she waves to the animal.“You okay, Blakey?” Gwen whispers. He can feel her hand caressing his back as she did so.She definitely figures it out almost always. He should’ve known that by now. He wishes he can be more attentive to her, not the other way around, since this is not entirely her comfort zone.He silently shoos away those thoughts out of his head before they get worse.“Yeah. Was thinking about and remembered something.” He’s more worried of his niece and nephew overhearing, so he keeps his voice low but just enough for Gwen to hear since the occasional sounds of the animals are also a factor.He felt the peck Gwen gave on his cheek and it was greatly appreciated by the smile he emits. He decides to kiss the top of her head, to say something that words wouldn’t be enough for.
I love you.
“I love you,” Gwen says just as easily and at that, he immediately forgets what his recalled memory was trying to imply.“Can I be carried again?” Jace asks Gwen.“Uncle Blake?” Ryan inquires at the same time as Jace.Even if their small moment was interrupted, he didn’t mind at all.He lets go of Gwen since he was holding her by her waist initially then faces Ryan and crouches down to her level.“Can I start calling her Auntie Gwen?” He looks back to her and sees Gwen’s shocked face. Something clicked in him when she did mention to him a while ago that Ryan was trying to figure out what to call her the whole morning they were hanging out at the zoo.“Of course,” he responds to Ryan after seeing Gwen’s initial reaction slowly break into a warm smile.“Yay!!” Ryan celebrates in front of them. “Does this mean you’ll marry Auntie Gwen?”The question catches him off guard, but not in the way that he doesn’t want it asked to him.“We’re not there yet, but I love hanging out with her and wanna spend my time getting to know her better and loving her. That okay?”He’s not one to pressure Gwen into anything, but he’ll be lying if he says that the thought doesn’t cross his mind.“Makes sense,” Ryan says. “Come on, Uncle Blake! We have to show Auntie Gwen the other animals here”His niece rapidly skips over to the next group of species after their little talk. He stands up fully and faces Gwen again, a little nervous since he hoped he didn’t overstep anything.“Just wanted to say something from my-“ He starts, nervously explaining in a low tone.But he was cut short by a sweet kiss coming from her, “I think that was perfect.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Just like clockwork, she stretches her legs as soon as her eyes open. It doesn’t register in her brain yet what time it is or what had happened, her mind recovering from her grogginess.That was until she saw Blake’s hand delicately holding hers in her line of sight. Ah. As much as she loves being cuddled up against his side, the spoon is also one of her most favorites to fall asleep to.It probably didn’t start that way with what they’re doing last night, but she loves it when their position ends up like this.She could stay engulfed in his strong arms for however long that may be.After a while of staring at nothing while practically thinking of nothing, she was brought back to the present with the feeling of his soft breaths at the back of her neck, and then another thought hit her.
She's never found a place that felt safer than this.
At first, she sighs contentedly and tries to go back to sleep, but then she suddenly remembered that this was one of those quiet moments of the day where it’s just her and Blake in their little world and nothing else mattered.Even if she doesn’t want to move, especially with the risk of waking Blake, she wants to get a good look at him.With that, she slowly changes positions, so she can see him. Luckily, Blake doesn't adjust much, so this was her chance to see the peaceful look of his face.She found his low snores adorable and it takes every fiber of her being not to pinch his nose. Instead, she just channels her energy to pray about how grateful she is that she gets to see these kinds of morning moments in almost every day that she’s with Blake.It’s also that time of day where how good he looks is undeniably apparent. The thought makes her blush for a bit, and again, it takes almost all of her self-control to get a grip.And all the while, he has such a beautiful heart that even if his brain does it way of burying that deep down to make him think he isn’t that, it shows in the little things.Like how much he paid attention to not only her but also his niece and nephew yesterday, not to mention their questions.He was like a pro at handling them. It warms her heart that there’s a certain ease that comes to him when he’s around his family.And honestly now, even with her, she catches the moments where he completely lets go and doesn’t let his brain overtake him.It reminds her of how far he’s come and how far he still wants to go with letting his guard down around her.She’ll always be proud of him for that.She doesn’t know how much time has passed since she woke up, but she immediately catches the moment he begins to stir.Gwen watches him as he tries to fight slumber but is sort of failing. She tries to control her giggle at, yet, another adorable sight.He ends up groaning while stretching the one arm she isn’t laying on. He opens his eyes briefly then proceeds to press his lips on her forehead.It’s become a morning habit of theirs and she prays that it won’t ever end.“Morning,” Blake mumbles, his eyes involuntarily closing. Even with the current situation, she can still hear the gentleness in his tone.“Good morning,” she replies with a bit of a cheeky grin as Blake remains groggy. It's like he wants to be awake, but he can’t control the sleepy feeling at the moment.Despite that, he surprises her when he doesn’t let his sleepiness stop his fingers from finding its way to her cheek, caressing it then letting it slowly slide down to her chin. The movement was rather slow, but she didn't mind.Then, it makes a final stop at her bare chest, placing his hands right above her heart. She watches as he lets it stay there as her heart takes 3 beats. He still keeps his eyes closed and it dawns on her.No one has ever touched her quite like this. He just wants to take his time and to feel her there. She knows he’s not intending on starting anything. It’s like his way of telling her that he’s grateful for another day to be waking up next to her.It was just the two of them and nothing else mattered. It was a bubble that he created for them even if his mind could be half awake.His hand still remained on her heart. A kiss follows on her cheek this time. He takes his time with that sweet kiss, and so she closes her eyes and savors it.She then hears another murmur, "So grateful to get to hold you."
I love being held by you.
At that, she forms a smile. If every morning with him is meant to elicit this kind of peace, regardless of what life throws, she'll gladly have them all.—They have been chatting with Blake’s parents for a while. It was a good thing that they stopped by before flying back to California.She’s slowly becoming really comfortable around Dot and Mike, and more importantly, she’d give anything to keep the genuine smile on Blake’s face. It happens more frequently when he’s around his family here.It’s not that she hasn’t seen it ever since they got together. She knows how work can sometimes take a toll on someone when it gets hectic. Don’t get her wrong, Blake does ensure that the people won’t get burned out in his company and he encourages everyone to take a break whenever they want to or need to. But, stress at work is inevitable.This little getaway helped him so much; she can tell. It did for her too.More so, with his progress lately, she knows how crucial it is for these moments to be present to remind him of how loved he is.She’ll do anything to make sure he really knows that as well.“Gwen, dear, why don’t you come with me to the kitchen before y’all go?”She must have lost track of time. When she looks at her wristwatch, they have an hour left to go to the airport and catch the flight.As much as she loves being at home in California, she’ll definitely miss the short vacation she had here with Blake.“Sure,” she smiles. “I’ll be right behind you,” Gwen says to Dot.She faces Blake to sneak in a quick kiss on his cheek. “You okay here, cowboy?”He nods and gives her a little squeeze before she finally stands up from the couch.Once she arrives at the kitchen, she sees Dot assembling a few tupperwares on the counter. “I thought I’d pack y’all some snacks on the way and some dinner. At least when you get back there, all you and Blake gotta do is eat then rest.”“That’s so thoughtful of you, Dot. Thank you,” she replies genuinely. Gwen decides to go to Dot’s side and offer her help. The woman immediately shakes her head.“I wanna bring you in here to talk to only you for a bit.”Her heart started racing. She shouldn’t be nervous about anything, but for some reason she is.Her thoughts followed, going a million miles a minute. What if they actually didn’t end up liking her? Was she and Blake too different? Did this short vacation in Oklahoma make his family realize that she could be holding Blake back from seeing his family?“Nothing to be nervous about, sweetheart. I apologize I didn’t want to spill this chili.” Dot quickly breaks the silence, remaining sweet and gentle with her tone.Gwen is already silently hoping that the nerves weren’t too obvious on her face. “No worries, Dot.” She reassures, her words serving a double purpose of trying to calm herself down from the immediate panic seconds ago and focusing on the conversation at hand. “What is it that you want to talk to me about?”“I just wanna say that I know that once you two go back to California and work gets hectic, he may just start falling into old habits again. It’s not intentional, but he does have that tendency after visiting here. There’s like a wall that’s put back up.” Once the words were out of Dot’s mouth, she kept going. Gwen can see the worry on Dot’s face, so she makes sure to pay close attention.“I know that he has you now, so that lessens my worries. But please do make sure he won’t forget to take care of himself and won’t forget to visit here.”“I promise, Dot.” She holds the woman’s two hands to ensure that she really means it. “He’s really making so much progress about being more open with his emotions and thoughts, and I’ll do my best to make sure that his progress will be steady even if it’ll be slow or even if there may be setbacks. I love him and I know that I’ll always be here for him. I want to be here for him.”She adds a little emphasis to the last bit of her impromptu speech. Dot is trusting her to take care of her son, and she wants to let Dot know that she will take that seriously. She thinks that, at the moment, this is the best way of showing and assuring Blake’s mom.“That warms my heart so much, Gwen.” Dot says, getting a little teary eyed. “I don’t know how long it has been since Blake was with someone who’s sure about being with him and accepts him. Probably never, but I’m very glad that you are.”Now it was Gwen’s turn to get teary. She knows how important family is to Blake and if this isn’t confirmation from his own mom that his family has their full support for them, then she doesn’t know what else it would be.“I also know that Blake can be a pain in the ass too. Do give me a call when his head needs a little whacking.” She knows that Dot was serious, but the joking tone accompanying it made her giggle after. “But in all seriousness, even if it’s not related to Blake, know that you can always give me a call, sweetheart. Okay? About anything.” Dot emphasizes that last bit to her.“You already have a home here and you’re always welcome, Gwen.” Dot finally finishes.“That means so much to me,” Gwen expresses, going in for a hug. “Thank you, Dot. I promise we’ll see you soon. Maybe we can take you guys to California and see Blake’s projects firsthand.”“I think that’d be lovely,” Dot warmly smiles.They hug it out one more time, needing the emotions from their exchange to subside a little because the two men in the living room could get suspicious when they get back.“Now, I do need a little help packing these food because as much as I’m a little sad about you both leaving, I don’t want y’all to miss your flight.”At that, they both giggle.—Once they get on the porch of Gwen’s house, she sees a little box on the doorstep.She looks up to Blake who is holding the key to the door, on the way to unlocking when he finally catches her gaze as she waits on him.“That’s not from me, pretty girl. Sorry.” He apologetically says.“It’s okay. I’ll check who it’s from later.” She lightly rubs his arm while reaching for the box.It took a while for her and Blake to get settled in. They go back to work the day after tomorrow, so she saw a little opportunity to do something in the meantime.“I’m going to do some cleaning. It’s just something I like to do since the holidays are coming soon.” She says after putting away the last plate since they ate the dinner Dot prepared for them.He nods and takes a while to answer. She doesn’t know why she says it but spits out the words fast enough. “It’s okay if you have things to do, Blake. I’ll be alright.”Usually, when she’s been with a partner constantly for a few days, like with Blake on their recent Oklahoma trip, they’d want space. Though, she won’t admit that to herself or out loud to Blake.It’s a little ironic considering her conversation with Dot about falling into old habits.“Don’t wanna leave you,” he says, shocking her greatly. “I’ll help you.”She couldn’t explain quick enough as to why, but there’s a sigh of relief coming out of her that follows.Since it was late in the day, she and Blake came to an agreement that they’ll focus on one thing at a time and finish what they can for the day. Blake was getting things in order in the living room while Gwen was set on finishing her laundry.She was about to finish folding the latest batch of clothes from the dryer when she got curious about the little box that’s in her mail pile that was nearby.Gwen stares at it for a while. Only the sound of the washing machine going through the last batch of laundry could be heard.She has an idea who it could be from, but she wants to be wrong so badly.Giving in to finally satisfying her curiosity, she finishes folding the clothes first and placing them in her closet, then she proceeds to clear out her mail pile.Gwen left the little box for last and later on, she was glad she did. When she opened the little letter, the deep breath she took was in complete contrast to the one of relief in her conversation with Dot earlier.She decides to cry, although the living room was far, she tries to manage it because she doesn’t want Blake to worry.The overflow of emotions got the best of her, and she wishes it was consistent with the good ones when the day started.Eventually, she was alternating sobs and sniffles since at one moment, she thought it was done, then it all hit her again.She’s reminded of how inadequate she felt before whether it was in previous jobs or in previous relationships, especially. She used to think maybe that’s what’s meant for her because she chose to settle for that or she believed that it isn’t possible for someone to have everything they’ve wanted.Probably, it’s also mixed with the mental fuck that her previous relationship did to her where her ex made her believe that no one else would settle for her. She thought he was the best option, her best shot, and she was too blind to see the lies until she wasn’t.Even if ending things and losing two people who used to be always in her life took up all of her energy, she did her best to move forward.The more time passes, she’s glad she really did.Gwen is also reminded of how much everything has changed. There were ups and downs with Blake, in the beginning mostly, but she knows he puts in the work to make her feel loved and cherished.As much as she was reminded of how it was before, she is also so grateful that she now has him. A partner who has flaws and is working to be better versions of themselves because they want to grow, and never fails to show her how much he’ll do for her.Blake showed her what it means to love and to be loved fully, and that she wants that, only if it’s from him. No one else but him.It’s probably why the emotions felt so overwhelming when they hit her altogether.“Gwen, are you okay? Baby, what happened?” Blake’s worried tone fills the room, and she doesn't try to compose herself anymore.He immediately wraps his arms around her, caressing her back, and letting her lean on him as much as she needs to.“The little box was from Eleanor.” She starts, not realizing that Blake took them to the chair to sit and she was on his lap.“It had my favorite chocolate in it and a letter trying to ask for forgiveness and convincing me to come to her and my ex’s wedding.”Blake wasn’t always upfront with how he feels, but confusion and slight disgust on his face was too obvious that if it was a different situation, she would’ve laughed,“Sorry, but how is that respectful?” He says. She knows it’s a rhetorical question, but she keeps talking regardless.“Wants her best friend there. But last I checked, we’re not anymore.” She sighs after, leaning further onto Blake’s shoulder and playing with the fabric of his shirt to keep her distracted.She was finally settled on just sniffing, the crying for the past minutes draining the remaining of her energy for today. She hears the occasional ‘you’ll be okay, baby. i’m here, just cry it out’ from Blake, but other than that, there was silence in the room as she lets everything out.“Eleanor has been a little pushy and persistent with asking for my forgiveness. She leaves a bunch of messages online, calls once in a while to try. I didn’t answer anything, which is probably why she sent the box.”She looks up to Blake as she speaks. His ‘why didn’t you tell me’ look got her to continue. “I thought it didn’t bother me much, so I thought by ignoring it, it’ll go away. Then tonight, it just hit me altogether how different it was between before and now.”She sees the little encouragement from Blake’s face and even with the sniffing, she smiles for a bit. “I thought what I had in my previous relationship is what was meant for me. Like that was it. It started off good, then eventually, it became something that wasn’t benefitting both of us. I was desperate for it to work, so I stayed. There were so many times where I was lied to, but I forgave him every chance I could.”Gwen pauses to catch her breath, not realizing she shed a tear until Blake carefully wipes it off. “At some point, I believed maybe I was the problem. I know no one is perfect, but I used to tell myself over and over, maybe I really fell short. I wasn’t enough. We were together for a long time and he didn’t want anything more. Now, just after a few months, he wanted to marry my ex-best friend that he…”She didn’t want to finish that sentence because she wasn’t ready to say it.Being with someone for so long can change a lot of things in you, including how your mind processes things and how you think about yourself. It takes a while to unlearn the unhealthy aspects of it. The challenge mostly comes from when you’re handed something later on, something that was the opposite of how it was.Her brain wasn’t ‘programmed’ to respond to the fact she receives as good as she gives with Blake, even if they’re at their beginning stages. The state of her relationship with Blake now barely holds a candle to what it was in other situations before. It was slowly forming the picture of what love is supposed to be for her.“You’re right no one is perfect in a relationship,” Blake says knowingly. “But that doesn’t excuse everything he put you through. You deserve to be loved so much, so genuinely and deeply, Gwen, to be given everything.” Even if his voice was a little low and he took a little bit to form his sentence, she notices how he compensates with the genuine eye contact to get his message across.“You are helping me realize that,” she says with a small smile. She moves to caressing his cheek with one of her hands as she goes on to the next bit. “That’s what’s different now. You’re showing me that love can be more. That you feel so much love that it sometimes hurts in a way like you can’t explain the feeling about to burst from your chest, but it’s not supposed to destroy you.”She kisses him briefly on the lips because she can’t help it before she continues.”And that you love me not because that’s what’s expected of you because we’re in a relationship, but…”“Because I really love you for all that you are,” Blake whispers, like it was meant for only her to hear. “I admire how strong you are, how you’re not afraid to show the real you, that you always see the good in people, and so much more.”She is getting emotional again, but this time, it’s something good. Along with Blake’s progress, she’s starting to recognize how amazing he is with words.He rarely says them at times but knows what and how to express them. It makes her all the more appreciate his efforts to be open with her because she gets to see this side of him.Apart from love, she feels a lot of gratitude too, especially with how everything turned out now that she has Blake. Tonight, she was reminded of the pain, but also reminded of what came out after it.There are rainbows that come out after the storm.He caresses her back in between soft kisses. His gentle touches are one of the things she can’t get enough of.“I’m here for you, baby. Like you’ve been for me.” He wasted no time proving that today and all the days before that. “I love you, ” he says. “Now and always.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Why won't you just drop it?!"
"Richard, the kids had an innocent question. I just wanted to ask you and hope that it was interpreted differently." Dot tries her best at damage control, but the effort doesn't seem to be promising.
"So you trust the little guys and not me?!" Richard's temper was out of control, and it was starting to scare Dot and Blake who's nearby. Blake is out of plain sight from his parents but is within earshot.
"It's not that Richard, but Richie told me when he found Blake in the zoo, he was alone." Blake, who’s trying to hide behind the table on the mezzanine, was watching the conversation unfold and got a little confused.
"He was with the rabbits! There was a lady when I left him!" Blake almost audibly gasped, not particularly because of what Richard said but because of the rising anger in his dad's tone.
"But you left him, Richard," Dot says frantically, knowing the implication behind his dad's actions. The little kid hearing them remains clueless.
"He was fine!" Richard snarled.
"He's only a little boy, and you left him alone." Dot takes a deep breath, struggling to calm herself, but nonetheless, she tries. "You had no plans to go back to him. What if-"
"So what?!" Richard shoots back. "He was getting on my nerves!"
"Blake is a good ki-"
"He's a crybaby," Richard yelled, "He gets fucking scared of the smallest things. Like the hunting trips with Richie had no effect on that little-"
"Richard, don't you dare say what I think you're going to say about your son," Dot defends as she quickly cuts him off. "He's your son!"
"Blake?" A whisper registers from a distance, but Blake feels like he was glued to the ground because of what he's witnessing, leaving the callout unnoticed.
"And so? We never planned him. I never wanted him!" That emphasis made his mother lose control and she ended up breaking down.
"Richard," Dot's voice breaks, and then Blake sees his mother grab his dad's arm in an attempt to make Richard retract his earlier words. Blake couldn't understand the next few words his mom was saying because Dot was already crying. He was about to blow his cover to go downstairs and comfort his mom when he felt someone lightly tug his arm.
"Blake, what are you doing?" There was a panic in his brother's voice, but Richie was insistent with the whispering.
"Mom is crying. I have to give her a hug," Blake says innocently, resisting his brother's tug.
"Blake, I don't think you should be seen by mom or dad.” Richie tries to reason with him calmly, a huge contrast to his dad's demeanor just now. “Come on. Let's go.” His brother does his best to carefully lead him further into the hallway, away from his parents fighting.
"But why is mom crying and dad is screaming? Shouldn't we hug them and tell them everything will be okay?" He feels guilty for leaving his mom there. He knows he should be doing something.
"Mom and Dad are just having a little misunderstanding, Blake." Richie kneels down to his eye level and attempts to lighten the subject. "They'll be okay. I promise. How about we go to Endy's room? She set up a board game for us."
—
“Mom? What is going on? Why is Richie not waking up?”
As he looks around, it was an endless loop of white walls. There was the sound of the life support machine beeping, but it was nothing new, so he searches for Endy and tries to understand why his older sister is already looking defeated.
“Where is Dad?” He asks.
“Blake, Richie got in an accident.” His mom says, her voice shaking.
“Yes, but the doctor said he’s doing better.” He knows the doctors said that the other day, so this situation only makes him more confused.
“I know, sweetheart. But Richie isn’t well enough to wake up.” Dot starts caressing his hair. He scoots closer to his mom, sensing that she needs the comfort.
“Why won’t he wake up?” Blake tries again. He has seen movies of people not waking up after going through something terrible, but his science classes in 8th grade weren’t enough to help him understand what was happening with Richie.
“How about you try and talk to Richie? Maybe it will help him wake up.” Dot was sniffing and he hesitated to leave his mom’s side until after a gentle nudge and a few words of encouragement.
He approaches his brother’s side carefully, Endy quickly following him. “Richie, please wake up. Mom is getting worried. I hope you feel better really soon and I promise I’ll be less naughty and help you and Endy out with the chores when I’m not doing homework. Love you, Richie.”
He squeezes his brother's hand and makes another plea for him to wake up soon.
“Blake, let’s go outside for a bit,” Endy says.
“But why?”
“Mom has to talk to the doctor.” The next thing that registers in his brain is him and Endy walking to the door as the doctor entered.
“Mom?” Blake calls out gently.
“I’ll be fine, sweetheart." He's not sure he should believe that when his mother was sniffing, but Endy was determined to get them out of the room. "Why don’t you go find Dad? Maybe he’s in the cafeteria.” Dot says when they’re about halfway out.
“Mrs. Shelton, we have to talk about the next steps.” It’s the last thing he hears before the door completely closes.
—
“Wait. Where are you going?” He couldn't control how his voice sounded panicky.
They were bound to end at some point, his subconscious knows that, but that doesn't mean it won't sting.
He never had the best track record of handling the aftermath of people leaving him.
“I don’t know, Blake, but I’m just not staying here.” She says, determined to get out of here.
“Are you leaving me?” He could almost vomit when he spoke those words. It was most obvious next question, but he still had a hard time spitting it out. The way his chest tightens makes it a little harder to breathe.
He easily notices how her bag was a bit full of the stuff she occasionally would leave in his apartment. She never officially moved in, and he knows that it’s his fault on his part that he didn’t make it clear to her.
“I don’t know where our relationship is going, Blake.” She stops at the door, but she doesn't let go of the knob.
“But I am working to give you everything. I promise. I’m working for a future.” He pleads one more time, hoping that she wasn’t going to be another addition to the list of people leaving him.
That list is starting to pile up and he knows that this must be some kind of cruel joke.
“I know you are. I realized there is a future for both of us. I just don’t want it with you. Please understand.”
“Look, I’m not perfect. I tend to act immature sometimes. But I promise I’ll become better and do better.” He knows he’s delaying the inevitable, but he still tries to overcome the denial in his mind.
“Blake, I know, but I still want out. I don't want to prolong this. I have to go.”
As he heard the door slam, his heart sank.
—“Blake, are you hearing me?” Followed by a few snaps of fingers within his line of vision, someone attempting to gain back his attention.He didn’t realize he was playing with his glass until Adam called him out. They were hanging out at his house after Blake had many important meetings throughout the day.“Sorry, what?” He attempts to sit straight and places the glass on the table.“I was asking you about your fully booked morning and you spaced out.” He knows that eyebrow raise all too well. He momentarily becomes nervous but works his way through it.“Weird and busy.” That is all he says.“How’s the house in Anaheim?” All Blake can hope is that Adam will be fine with him changing the subject.He sees his friend get a little suspicious and hesitates to answer, and then Behati chimes in.“It’s going fine. Gwen is literally bringing our vision to life. We’re in the process of picking out the furniture while waiting since everything is still concrete and white paint.” He sees Behati’s face light up and he doesn’t hesitate to mirror it at the mention of his girlfriend.His focus immediately shifts, like his brain has already forgotten what happened just seconds ago.As he thinks about it, he realizes how the development of his friends’ house almost has the same beginning and timeline as his relationship with Gwen. It took a while for it to start, but then when they finally took that first step, everything started falling into place.He and Gwen have been together for about 4 months now, and he knows that like building the perfect house starts with a strong foundation, it mimics how they’re forming the foundations of their relationship within these first few months.There may be some struggles along the way, but one thing’s for sure, that house will be built, just like how they’ll make it all the way. He knows he still has flaws and a lot to work on himself, but he places all his faith and confidence in the fact that they'll make it, a slow but steady progress as they love each other and grow together, personally and professionally.“That’s good to hear,” Blake finally says, trying to snap out of it once again.“Gwen mentioned that you guys went to Oklahoma,” Behati continues. “How did it go? Did she meet your family?”“T’was great. They loved her. I knew they would,” he couldn’t control his little smile again. “We went to the zoo. Haven’t been there in a while. We saw some Oklahoma wildlife and hung out with my sister.”Aside from Gwen, Behati knew how to get him talking. He so badly wants to reassure the poor woman that he appreciates her efforts, especially since she tries to beat Adam from talking about how he’s doing.Nonetheless, he is grateful to have friends looking out for him.“How are your niece and nephew? They’re the most adorable!” Behati inquires as she encourages him to keep going.“They’re good. I felt guilty for not visiting them always.” He fidgets a little with the bottom of his shirt. He loves his family and he knows he has put in the effort to make time for them. They’re important to him, so he wants to show that.“I’m sure they understand and you’re doing your best to make up to them,” Behati says.“Ryan and Jace immediately loved her when they met.” He doesn’t need to reference who he’s talking about. Even if he looks like a whipped boyfriend, he can’t help it.“Not surprised either,” Behati giggles. “Gwen told me she loves kids. She was nervous about your family not liking her.”“Was nervous about her family not liking me too,” he sheepishly admits.“Oh come on. I’m sure you won them over!” Behati reassures. “I heard it went great when you guys gathered.”“Her parents don't hate me, so it's a good start," Blake rubs the back of his neck as he remembers being with Gwen's family. Even if he's nervous to talk about it, he is still grateful he gets to hang out with them and he's feeling the acceptance of being welcomed into the Stefani clan. He always feels honored when they invite him to their Sunday lunches."You two seem to hit it off,” Blake then points out.“You do know your girlfriend is like one of the best people ever,” Behati says as a matter of fact. “We gals got each other.”“Never understood your girl code and all that stuff,” Adam quips. Blake feels a little relieved that his friend got himself back into the conversation. He was trying to avoid Adam’s gaze when he and Behati were talking.“Oh please. I’m sure you guys have bro code too, right?” Behati crosses her arms and mimics Adam's earlier eyebrow raise.He knows they're made for each other with how dramatic they are when they converse. Blake is wholly aware of how it's all out of humor, so he just lightly chuckles during their exchange.“You’re speaking gibberish, babe,” Adam jokes.Behati slaps Adam’s arm and Blake almost laughed. Thankfully, his self-control won and he composed himself quickly.He’s not gonna lie; he does miss the part of him that was open and throwing jokes whenever he could. He’s starting to fail to comprehend how he got to successfully tell himself he’s better closed off.At that, the guilt in his mind attacks again.Blake takes a deep breath to calm himself down before anything starts or, worse, escalates, and Adam immediately takes notice.“Blake? You okay?” Adam asks, nearly standing up. Blake instantly becomes nervous about how his change of emotions would quickly show. Fuck. That’s something he’s subconsciously learning to control even if some cases, it’s valid if he couldn’t.“Yeah,” he quickly dismisses. “Fine.”“We’ve been here quite a while,” Behati redirects. “Blake, it’s okay if you’re tired. You had a long day of doing stuff for work.”“Sorry,” he apologizes like it’s on autopilot then does his best to be subtle in taking another deep breath.“Don’t worry about it.” Imagine his shock when it’s Adam who says that. “I’ll walk you out to your car.”“Okay,” he stands up slowly then makes his way to Behati. “Thank you for this. Really appreciate it.” He goes in for a hug, hoping to convey what his words should have.“Of course!” Behati responds, “We love hanging out with you. Next time, it’ll be four of us.”He forms a small smile at that and nods agreeingly. That dinner or hang out may end up becoming a little chaotic, especially with the energy of the two women, but regardless, he’s looking forward to it.“Drive safe, Blake!” It’s the last he hears Behati say as he and Adam walk to the garage.He thought he could get away with the silence since it's going on for quite a while. They're almost by his car and just when he thinks he's off the hook, Adam speaks.“You want to tell me what just happened?” Adam’s voice was stern, not of anger but concern.“Not now,” Blake pleads.“Is there something going on at work? With you and Gwen?” Adam fires away.He knows his friend is getting a bit overprotective of him. He appreciates it a lot, but at the moment, it's got him feeling overwhelmed and he feels himself wanting to shut out.“We're okay. She's okay. I'm fine,” he raps. He really wants to get this done and over with, hoping it can be settled or talked about another time.“Blake, if Gwen is–”At that, he tries to gently cut him off, not wanting his friend to even entertain that thought. “Adam,” he breathes. “She is the most understanding. We're okay. I just,” He pauses, aiming to get a better grip on himself. “I need time to unlearn some things and readjust. And am not sugarcoating it. She is there for me. Always.”“Okay,” Adam finally relents. “It seems like I'm nagging. I apologize.”“S'okay. You care.” Blake says knowingly.“At least now you're arguing with me. It's a bit hard to know what's going on in your brain when you're alarmingly quiet," Adam confesses, and Blake does genuinely appreciate his honesty because he does have a point.His thoughts could go thousands of miles a minute. It's why he doesn't take for granted the moments when his mind is calm, especially when it doesn't trick him about things that could send him into a negative spiral.“Have you prepared for the gala yet?” Adam lets go of it for now and he is utterly glad about the change in topic. “Heard from Kelly.”“Christmas gala?” Adam nods in response to that.“Not quite. There's still a few days.”“Who are you taking with you?” Adams asks, leaning towards Blake's car.“Gwen,” he confidently says. That was a no-brainer. He mentioned it briefly to her a few days ago, but he hasn't formally asked her with the exact words of ‘Will you be my date?’ even if Gwen is technically going to be there because the gala is related to work.“Okay, that's good,” Adam says.Blake is not brushing off the gala, but it is simply a social event for all architects, designers, engineers, and everyone else involved in their field. It's a chance talk to potential clients, form collaborations. It's a fancy way to build your professional network. No harm can be done, right?Gwen will be by his side and he knows it'll be alright. They're a good duo personally and professionally which helps reassure him. It's still a few nights away, so they have time to prepare.“By the way, please let Gwen make the fashion choices,” Adam jokes, punching his arm lightly.“Dumbass,” Blake rolls his eyes as he mumbles, getting a laugh from Adam in the process. "For your peace of mind, I will."“Gotta go. Will see Gwen at home,” he finally says as he unlocks his car.“Take care of yourself always, Blake. ‘kay?”He nods, because he understands his friend's worry for him. Blake hugs Adam briefly in hopes of showing his appreciation.“Take care of Gwen too. She's good for you. Don't mess up, sasquatch.”“Am trying hard not to,” he genuinely says.With that, he gains a small smile from Adam and they share another quick hug.As he buckles up, his phone buzzes. The emojis he put on the contact name were a quick giveaway.Gwen doesn’t know how many times she has grounded him. And he knows and has been told that it is quite dangerous to heavily rely on a person for your own healing.But he knows that this isn’t that. He’s learned, the hard way, unfortunately, that there are people who come to your life to teach you, be with you, or, on rare occasions, both. Majority of the time, they’d leave.Regardless of his efforts to make them stay, they leave. He sometimes wonders if maybe it’s his karma. He asks himself how many times he has to watch the people in his life leave, whether it was within his control or not.Though when his brain is not betraying him, he thinks about how he still got to continue with life even after they left (his dad, brother, and previous relationships). They all became learning points of his life, a preparation of some sort.If someone is meant to stay, no matter what happens they will. He is almost sure, but he also very much hopes that Gwen is part of that because he honestly doesn't know what he'd do if she left.She has helped him see how he can heal himself. Though it’s mostly baby steps, he always tries to talk himself into thinking that it is still okay and it is progress.And at the back of his mind, he knows that every decision he made and every step he took in his life led him to her, his other half.Everything that has happened to him all started to make sense now that he's with her. Maybe faith played a part in it. Who knows?Maybe there was all that leaving to teach him how every time spent with your loved ones is precious time. That it wasn't the time for holding back. You lay all your cards out for someone, and love them wholeheartedly, especially when you know they're worth it. She's worth it. That not everything you invest in someone will bloom with the same person in the future. Maybe because it's not meant to bloom with that person but for someone else who is meant to love and cherish all of you, reciprocating it confidently and unconditionally.This time around, he wants to and will fight hard and right, so he and Gwen can be there for each other and live that future, their future , togetherBlake then quickly realizes. He’s never been more sure now. Gwen is his person, and this is one of those rare instances where he undoubtedly believes he could be Gwen’s person too.He does this a lot lately, space out and think, but he does his best to ensure it’s not destructive but rather more reflective.His phone buzzes again and this time he really snaps out of it to read the two texts.
Hi, baby! I’m sorry I only replied just now. Been busy the whole day. Actually, these past two days were crazy! I haven’t seen you much and I know we text and call but I really miss you!! Does that make me clingy? Gx
He chuckles at that. Sometimes he can’t comprehend how someone can be so adorable even through text.
I’m just finishing up here in the office. I hope ur hang out with Adam went well. See u later! I love u so much Gx
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
“I think we got everything covered! We’ll take note of these revisions, so we can make more room for your study.” Gwen says as she gathers all the papers into the envelope.“I’m loving everything we’ve talked about so far!” The client replies cheerfully. “Thank you for taking this meeting on such short notice, Ms. Stefani!”“No problem,” she smiles. “We’ll be in touch if we need to discuss anything else.” Gwen does her best to be as accommodating as possible even if the busyness of the day is finally catching up to her.She shakes hands with the client as the woman nods before officially leaving the conference room.After double-checking to see if the client really left, she sat down once again on the chair, sighing in relief that another work day had been fulfilled.Even if the exhaustion is trying to make its way through her body, she still feels happy that this day is as productive and fruitful, knowing that she and the team are able to keep up with what their clients need for their designs.“Hi. Can you please relay these to the others? We can finally get going with this one project we’re stuck on,” she says as she approaches her assistant’s table and hands over the files.“These are the revisions.” Gwen points to the yellow envelope. “Then I already re-arranged the other documents in this folder.”“All duly noted, Ms. Stefani!” Her assistant smiles. “See you tomorrow at the gala!”“I’m excited to see your outfit! See you!” She appreciates her assistant keeping that positive energy even after a long day, so she hopes she gets to reciprocate it well.She briefly goes back to the conference room to check if she left anything before proceeding to her desk to fix her things.“Gwen, hi! Oh my gosh,” she hears Kelly from afar. “I’m sorry this is so last minute, but I just need your signature here,” Kelly pants.“Whoa. Kelly, breathe.” Gwen worrily expresses, caressing Kelly’s back while gently getting the papers to look at what she’s signing.Luckily, Kelly followed her advice and after taking a breath, Kelly attempts to explain what she’s signing. “It’s just the final designs we’re sending to one of our clients. This got your approval a while ago today, but I think they forgot to get your signature.”“It’s okay,” she reassures. “I sometimes overlook it too. Don’t worry about it. And again, Kelly, breathe.”Kelly nods as Gwen returns the signed documents. “Oh, wait. Blake has gone through those right?”After another nod from Kelly, the woman walks off. Gwen chuckles when she notices that Kelly took her advice and decided not to run. “By the way, no one is in his office if you’re waiting for him. See you at the gala tomorrow!” Kelly winks at her before finally heading for the elevator.Gwen can feel her cheeks starting to heat up. She tries to suppress her grin, even if almost everybody knows about their relationship. She and Blake are that obvious. She does love being near her favorite person as much as she can, especially since they try to make the most out of every day.It’s in the things that they know are important no matter how small they seem to others like eating together during their lunch break at work, spontaneous dates, movie nights, the Sunday cookouts with the Stefanis.She gets to see family man Blake and boyfriend Blake at every opportunity. Gwen is endlessly grateful for that. And she wasn’t wholly prepared for the other feelings that came with that.Her parents were her example of real love growing up. She’s always wanted that her whole life, and now she’s hopeful that she and Blake are going towards that direction.Blake has been working on opening up better, not just to her but to everyone else in their circle too, and she can’t begin to express how proud she is of his progress.It’s nice to see all of the people in Blake’s support system. She knows how important it is to have that and all she wishes is that she gets to be a part of it for the rest of their lives.Her phone vibrating brings her back to reality. She usually sets an alarm when the workday is done. It helps with her time management (mostly).She quickly but carefully arranges all her personal stuff in her bag then finally heads to Blake’s office, so they could leave together.The glass door to his office remains open and so Gwen gently knocks on it to alert him of her presence.The lack of response from him instantly lets her know that he’s still in the zone and she confirms it when she catches him still annotating and organizing his files.Blake looks so focused and concentrated at what he’s doing that she finds it so adorable. A cute busy bee! She almost quietly puts her bag on the nearby couch but keeps her eyes on him. There were a lot of papers on his desk, so she genuinely understands not wanting to miss anything.Apparently, they can easily get mixed up. Speaking from experience. He finally looks up and she sees the many emotions that play on his face when he realizes she’s standing in front of him.First was that work face as he looked up. He does that when he’s in CEO mode, especially during those bits of decision-making in meetings; when he’s examining the space where the client wants to put the interior design department’s drawings to life; or when he’s so focused on the paperwork he’s doing that the outside world is simply a backdrop.Sometimes, she sees that work face at home when he’s dedicated to cooking her dinner, when he helped her fix her TV when it got busted, or when he examines both ways of the street before he opens the car door for her. Again, she thinks it’s an adorable and admirable trait of his.Then, there was a brief shock as if he was a little startled that she got there without him noticing. Finally, his face slowly broke into a smile. His dimples would pop out and that would always get her weak in the knees.He always looks at her like she hung the stars, the moon, and everything in between. He admitted to it already. To say she was speechless when he said that to her was an understatement. And even then, she doesn’t know what she did to deserve to be on the receiving end of his gaze, but, God, she always wishes that he would never stop looking at her like that.“Hi, baby. You've been waiting long?”Gwen gently shakes her head and softly speaks. “Nope. Just finished everything I needed for the day, so I’m not piled up tomorrow before the gala.”He nods to acknowledge. “Will be done in a few. Sorry, baby.”“I know how busy it can get.” She responds while approaching his side. “Don’t apologize for that, okay?” She then caresses his curls since she remembered when he told her how much he likes it whenever she does that, especially when he’s had a long day at work.The slow and deep exhale he releases right after confirms how much he appreciates that. She doesn’t point it out, but she almost evidently swoons as he leans closer to her and her touch.“How can I help?” She sweetly asks after a brief kiss at the top of his head“Just need to double-check if I signed everything in this pile.”“Okay.” She massages his hair for a few more seconds before fixing it and letting go. She takes a seat on the chair in front of his desk and looks over the pile he gestured to.It hits her momentarily how this was the same seat she sat on when he interviewed her. She smiles briefly when the memory passes her mind, then she finally shifts her focus to the numerous folders and envelopes.There was only one that wasn’t signed, so she handed it to him before rechecking the rest. She also got to find out early on how Blake likes to organize his files and other stuff, so she helps with that too.She was in the midst of placing the last organizer on the shelf that was right behind his office chair when she felt his arms wrap around her for a hug.Gwen immediately feels his warmth and she melts into his touch in that same bit. Home. “Thank you for all your help,” he murmurs before kissing her cheek. “Ready to go?”She nods but shows no signs of wanting to break away from him. She’s too comfortable to do so. “Lemme just get my bag.”He slowly turns her around, pulls her even closer, and simply stares at her for a minute. She smiles in return, basking in the moment for as long as it lasts.She wants more and he instantly reads her, leaning in for a kiss. When he presses his lips onto hers, she relaxes further into his touch. It was a chaste and sweet kiss. Nothing too intense, but it said those three words just as effectively.Blake leans his forehead onto hers after breaking away from their kiss then sways them for a bit. “Can I cook you dinner?” He shyly asks next.“You’re spoiling me.” She giggles before placing another quick kiss on his lips.“As you should be,” he murmurs. “Can I, baby?”She knows there isn’t any special occasion, but she asks anyway. Answering his query with one of her own.“Just wanna do something for you,” Blake replies. He switches to simply hugging her. She loves it when he always wants closeness from her regardless of what’s happening or what they’re doing. It’s something she’s craved a lot in the past and she never knew it could be reciprocated genuinely like this.“Blake, you don’t have to.” Although she also loves being spoiled by him, she also doesn’t want him to feel obligated to do these things to be able to receive love back from her.“I know, but I want to,” he slowly says. “Anything you’re craving in particular?”She can’t get enough of his sweetness and it has her blushing. “Is it okay if we do pasta?”Blake nods and kisses her once more before finally responding. “Of course, pretty girl.”—She’s back to sitting on the chair by the kitchen counter after an attempt to distract Blake as he cooks. She couldn’t stay still for a minute. She’s surprised how Blake’s patience doesn’t falter with her.Before her thoughts could spiral, she tries to offer to help again. “You sure you don’t want me to help you?”“Just sit back and relax, baby.” He says while pouring the pesto sauce.“Smells really good!” It's a no-brainer that Blake was the better chef in their relationship, but whenever he’s not obsessed with spoiling her, they actually cook together as a bonding time.“Almost done.” Blake says while lowering the heat and finally facing her.Gwen raises her arms, wanting his closeness again. He lightly chuckles as soon as she pouts and immediately gives in for a quick but sweet kiss.“Can I talk to you about something? Nothing too heavy, but I do want to tell you about it,” Gwen starts.Blake nods, caressing her back and encouraging her to go on.“Pratt invited me to be a speaker in this seminar. Something about a career in the arts after you graduate.”“That’s amazing, Gwen. ‘m so proud of you!” He kisses her on the forehead before asking further. “What’ya tell ‘em?”“I don’t feel like I should be doing that kind of stuff,” she sheepishly replies.“Why not?”“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I wasn’t like a star student. I mean, of course, I worked hard to pass all my classes and graduate. I had internships here and there which helped me get in Lucé, then here. But I don’t see myself as someone who does a career talk.” She didn’t realize that she ended up rambling. She feels her cheeks heating up as she becomes conscious about it.“I understand,” Blake drawls. “Even if you don’t think you’re that, they saw something valuable in you to invite you.” He quickly looks back at the pasta to make sure it isn’t burning then looks to her again. “All bias aside, I think you’re really talented and work really hard. It shows in your work. They deserve to hear that from you.”She didn’t expect that sweet speech coming from him, which ended up with her shyly smiling. She loves it when he expresses what he thinks, even if it’s sometimes about complimenting her and she doesn’t know how to deal with it.“I get nervous when speaking to people,” she sheepishly admits. “I feel like I’m gonna fumble my sentences.” She chuckles.“I get that,” he says, kissing her on the forehead like it’s a habit. “But I do hope you still consider it. You’re worthy to be there, pretty girl. I promise you that.”That reassurance was something she never knew she needed, but Gwen’s glad that she got it. It’s moments like these that remind her of how much of a really good partner Blake is.She is even more glad that both of them took this leap.“Thank you, Blakey,” she responds, caressing his cheek. He momentarily lets go to stir the pasta. “Oh I almost forgot. If I do go, it’s around the same time as my trip to New York for a few work conferences and in-person client consultations. We’re gonna be apart a while.”She pouts at the end of it. They’ve been apart before, but they’re always in the same state. This situation would be an entirely different one and a first for them.Accepting the invitation to speak will prolong her trip a little and it’s the one downside. She loves getting to do things for her career, but she also hates when they’re apart.Gwen doesn’t admit it upfront, but it’s harder for her to sleep, or even relax, when Blake isn’t around. The warmth and comfort he offers is always something she’s looking for.“Hmm,” Blake thinks out loud while he turns to her once again. “Some of my meetings here will clash with yours at that time. But if you like,” Blake pauses, as if he’s trying to brace for it. “I can fly there a few days after?” He tries to subtly swallow. “We can spend time there while doing work.”“Really?” She almost squeals, almost missing to point out Blake’s nervousness.“Some clients would actually fly here from the East Coast for the meetings. I can re-arrange that.”“You’d do that?” She says, still in disbelief.“Of course, baby.” He smiles, looking relieved. “I love supporting you and as long as you want me there, I’ll be there.”“You know I’d always wanna be with you,” she confesses. A small part of her knows that she didn’t bring up a similar idea to Blake’s because of her insecurities about being too clingy to their partner that it might push them away.She knows that Blake has those too. Sometimes, they take turns in reassuring each other about wanting the other’s company. “I’d really love it if you’d be there,” Gwen says. “M’kay,” he reaffirms quite proudly. “I’ll take note of it in my phone, so I can re-arrange everything before the holidays.”She couldn’t contain her excitement that she jumps out of the chair and briskly approaches him. “Do I have the best boyfriend or what?” She hugs him from behind, squeezing him a little tight.He shyly chuckles, then she sees him put his phone down and turns around in her arms. “Am trying ‘cause it’s what you deserve.”Gwen smiles reassuringly at him and kisses his jaw, since it’s only what she could reach due to their height difference. “I know, and I appreciate all of it. I love you.”Those three words were easy to come out. It’s quite funny how scared they were at the beginning with how the other would react, as if it was spoken too soon, but to her, it wasn’t.“I love you too, Gwen.” He caresses her cheek, then his eyes widen and whips his head back to the stove. “Wait. Don’t wanna burn this.”She uncontrollably giggles at his adorableness. Blake brings back his focus to cooking again but not before stealing a kiss from her, this time on the lips.—Gwen attempts to smoothen her nightgown while exiting the bathroom. She, almost subconsciously, starts looking for Blake on the bed. He always finishes prepping first. His nighttime routine is significantly shorter, but each time, he is so patient in waiting for her to join him.At this moment though, he wasn’t there. She frowns a bit, wanting to cuddle with him. She goes straight out of his room to try and find him.When she finds him at his home office, she catches his work-mode face similar to earlier as she approaches him, and she almost giggles when she thinks that he hasn’t figured out that she’s within arms length.That’s why she couldn’t deny her shocked expression when he stretches out his hand, trying to reach out for her.“Someone’s still working,” she quips while invading his personal space. She kisses his temple as he pulls her to sit on his lap. She evidently swoons at the gesture.“Looking for some final gala details,” he drawls. Blake steals a quick kiss on the lips before looking back at the screen.She probably sounds like a broken record at this point, but she means it when she realizes that she hasn’t been with someone who is into affection this much until Blake came along.She loves how, as time passes, Blake has gotten more comfortable with being more affectionate with her. Whether it was just the two of them or they were around people, she loves that he barely hesitates anymore to reach for her hand, to get a quick hug, or to steal a little kiss.It’s those little things that she thought she’d be fine without them, but being with Blake has proven to her that it’s okay to want those and that she actually missed out on having a sweet partner, and he’s giving it to her every chance he gets.The moment that prompts it would probably look random, but she doesn’t care, she says it anyways. “I love you.”“I love you too,” he replies softly, with a cute shy smile.“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” She asks next. He’s brought up the gala before and they’ve always participated in it in the years it takes place.There’s always a rotating organizer, but it wasn’t Shelton Enterprises’ turn this year. Though she understands that Blake isn’t wholly relaxed about it, she didn’t know about the depth of his nervousness until Kelly accidentally brought up how Blake has been stressing out on it for a while now.They have talked about the gala shortly a few times, especially when he asked if she could officially be his plus one aside from being one of the company representatives, but there wasn’t any specific moment that was necessary to spark a conversation until now.“A lil’,” He says. She then hears a sound from the desktop, and it signals her that he’s done with what he was reading. Gwen leans further into his touch and she feels the deep breath he takes before speaking again.“Been nervous about it for a while,” he finally confesses. “Sorry I didn’t get to tell you ‘bout it before.”He looks a little sad after that, and the reassurance is quick to come out of her. “Blake, you don’t have to apologize for that. I’m glad you’re comfortable enough to tell me now. That’s what matters.”She caresses his cheek, as a way to encourage him to look at her. She subtly nods, hoping to make sure that her words resonate. And when he shyly smiles back, she knows he got it.“The last time we had the gala, the thing that happened with us,” she could feel him tense up as he tries to sit straight. She lightly rubs his arms, hoping it offers some comfort. He continues, “with the company, it was a bit fresh. I remember getting looks.”“That was a huge deal. This one company was going to be our long-time client and we’d help them build their real estate properties at this side of the country. We messed up. It almost cost us everything. I tried fixing it, and it sort of did, but the PR nightmare afterward was what I couldn’t control.”She knows it took a lot from him to open that up, and with the way his shaky exhale came after, she hugs him. You’ll be okay. You have been okay. I got you. Some of the details were something she was told during her first few months, but she never really got Blake’s perspective on it, at least on the aftermath.“We’ve recovered. I took as much responsibility for it as I could, ‘cause it’s my relations that caused it. It’s recent history, but it’s been a while. ‘m still nervous.”“I know that feeling doesn’t go away, but you’re also right about many things. It’s in the past. You’ve made amends for it, even if it wasn’t all your fault,” she doesn’t forget to emphasize that latter, remembering the stuff Kelly said. “You guys are doing better than ever.”“And one more thing you can be sure about, you’ve got me. I’m here by your side tomorrow and all the occasions after that.” She reassures, looking into his eyes to let him know she genuinely means everything she said.“Thank you, baby. For listening and for this.” He leans his forehead against hers and squeezes her a bit, before hinting that they’re gonna stand up now.She kisses his cheek in response, then they walk hand-in-hand to the bedroom.“‘m so grateful you’re always here,” he says sitting down on the bed, then she is being pulled in front of him. She likes it whenever he does this because she gets to play with his curls.“You’ve got me too, baby.” He says next, referencing what Gwen had told him earlier. “Especially this,” She watches as he moves her hand from the back of his neck to his heart. “You’ve got all of it.”Sometimes he says those three words and it’s enough to make her world stop turning, but then there’s other occasions where he has creative ways of saying it, and it’s got her feeling emotional–in a good way.“You’re a good man, Blake Shelton.” She kisses him on the forehead, lingering there. “Can we lay down? Hold me please.” She utters softly. She knows she doesn’t have to ask him for these things, because he will even if there’s no prompts from her.Still, she likes being able to tell her requests and catch the moment that he acts on them.They finally lay in a spoon position, but none of them were feeling sleepy yet. Though his warm breath against her neck has her further relaxing into the sheets.“Blake?” She asks, turning gently so she can see him. He was looking in the distance, and it seemed like her calling for him brought him back to the present.“‘m sorry,” he murmurs, but she hears it. “You were saying something?”“What’s on your mind?” She inquires innocently. She knows that look on his face. Sometimes, he spaces out when a thought crosses his mind. She doesn’t mind and admits that it happens a lot to her too.But she remembers Blake shyly and nervously confessing to her that sometimes he is afraid of speaking what he’s thinking because it might be too much to handle, and so what he does is he leaves himself to his own devices and lets the spiral happen.She never wants him to go through that alone ever again. She made that silent promise to herself and this is her trying to make do of it.“My dad,” he starts.Gwen understands how much of a sensitive topic this is. She’s only gotten bits and pieces about it ever since the first time she met Endy, so she treads carefully.She subtly nods as a way to encourage him, not to immediately talk but for him to let himself feel the emotions that can arise with it and trust that even if he breaks, he can handle it. “He was okay, but he was intense,” Blake tells next. He sighs then tries to move closer to her. Their position changes a bit with Blake now laying against her chest. “I remember him and my mom fighting, sometimes over me. Other times, he’s just so angry at mom.”She senses his hesitation, which is why she is genuinely shocked when he looks up to her. “Wanted to make him proud, wanted him to think I could be worthy enough. It didn’t happen though, since he left before I could make good on it.”His voice cracked by the end of his sentence, and she feels herself tearing up too, but she tries to keep it at bay. Gwen caresses his curls again, and she sees him close his eyes and leans into her touch.Gwen knows how important this moment is, and so she hopes that after this he’ll keep in mind that he still got through it together, that he is stronger than what he thinks he is, even if Blake will also remember the intense feelings that came with it,“I don’t want to be like him,” he says next, his voice almost shaky. “Don’t want be too angry or reactive.” He looks down, and she knows he’s thinking about the moments where his anger won over everything else.But she won’t let him spiral further, at least not into that, she gently puts her hand below his chin and makes him bring his gaze back to her. She doesn’t say anything though. She kisses his forehead softly instead.“I figured if I could stop the emotions from coming out, I wouldn’t be like him,” he expresses quite slowly. “Wouldn’t cause damage to anyone and I thought t’was a good solution. ‘Cause I already did damage even ‘til when we were starting.”“We aren’t perfect,” she states. “Sometimes our emotions can control us, and you and I both know that holding it all in still doesn’t make for a good solution. And even if you had slip ups, you’re still a good man, you know why?”She doesn’t wait for him to further inquire and keeps talking. “You know better now. You know it’s okay to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, but you also know the consequences of acting on it, and the most important part is, you’re working on it.”He nods after that, failing to form any words as he seeks her touch. She knows it’s a lot to take in. “You aren’t him, I promise,” she reassures. “You may have had some moments of anger and being reactive, but it doesn’t mean that that’s you. You’re an amazing and attentive boyfriend, a sweet son, a supportive friend, a great leader to your peers. That’s what you are. And whatever it is you’re struggling with now, you’re working on it. I’m seeing it with both my eyes, Blake. You meant business when you told me you want to do better, and you are.”Blake tears up then and there. He buries his head on her neck. She feels him inhale deeply and she lets him have a moment to himself after everything they’ve talked about tonight. It’s been a lot, she immediately realizes.She notices how his hold on her never waivered throughout their conversation. She becomes a little emotional at the parallel to their first few moments together. “I love you, pretty girl. You’re still here after I let all that out.” He softly speaks next.“I am and always will be,” she smiles, finally meeting his gaze when he looks up again.She was going to add to that, but then his worried tone won her curiosity. “Jason will be there at the Gala tomorrow. I promise I’ll keep myself in check.”They’re both remembering that one time, and she could see the guilt on his face. They’ve talked about it quite a few times before. Blake was still adamant about the disrespect and inappropriateness, but he told her he should’ve reacted differently and he wouldn’t ever want her to associate him with violence.But that wasn’t ever the case because Blake is actually one of the most gentle and caring people she’s ever met. To her, it felt like those were two different people.“That's not what I'm worried about, baby.” She says. “The moment you're not comfortable when he's nearby, we'll walk to some place else.”“Okay,” he nods, “But if he also makes you uncomfortable, you tell me okay?” He shifts them on the bed and he’s now back to holding her. “I promise not to make a fuss, but I do you want to be comfortable even if I’m nervous ‘bout some stuff.” She felt a kiss from at the top of her head. “Want you to have a good time since this is your first gala.”“I will as long as you're there,” she smiles to him, and pouts, clearly wanting something.“Always.” He replies rather quickly and doesn’t not wasting any time when he leans in for a kiss. They finally let the night catch up to them since they’re in for a long day tomorrow.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
For the most part, he has successfully kept himself busy to refrain from thinking about the gala. Blake purposely set important meetings with various clients and colleagues today. He answered emails. He also decided to check in with a few departments by going to their respective floors.There was one person who made sure he wouldn’t miss lunch and would remind him to take short breaks in between, Gwen.If she was noticing how he timed certain activities to do today, he was grateful she didn’t point it out. But he was more grateful that she still came in for work even if she didn’t have much to do. His nerves would’ve gone overboard if she wasn’t there to ground him even if, today, she probably barely knew that she could be that for him.“Kelly, I’ll sort the rest. You prepare for the gala.” He finally says after almost completely spacing out. Kelly is in his office to talk about their planning seminar in January.“You should take some time to prepare too, Sir Blake. This will be held a few weeks after we come back in January, so there’s still time to sort things out,” Kelly smiles, unable to contain her excitement for the gala. She has expressed before how she loves getting to meet people there and, most especially, the charity aspect of it.It was actually something Shelton Enterprises started, even if they were barely a decade-old company when they did that.As he remembered that, he offers a small smile to Kelly and lightly nods. “See you at the gala. Drive safe.”Kelly responded with much enthusiasm before politely leaving his office. He slowly lets his shoulders rise up and down in an attempt to take a deep breath.The gala officially starts at 6, so a few days ago Blake sent out a memo that their work day ends before lunch, so everyone has enough time to dress up and travel.The venue this year is not far from their office, but with LA traffic, he doesn’t want to take any chances, despite him being nervous about this.
We’re not the organizers this year, so it’s not as stressful.
What happened in the past is done. We’ve recovered. We’re doing better.
I’m doing better. It’s not perfect, but I’m goddamn trying.
Blake keeps repeating them to himself to redirect his mind. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s in doing this that he takes his chances.“Blakey?” He tries to suppress his grin with how cute her voice sounds. When he focuses his vision to the door of his office, he finds her peeking in.He gently motions for her to come in and doesn’t waste any time opening his arms, waiting for her hug.Thankfully, they always love to touch each other at almost any given occasion. He finds it even more adorable when she scuttles her way into his arms.Blake immediately melts into her touch before Gwen adjusts to sit on his lap.“Let’s go eat, then get ready for the gala,” Gwen says after kissing his cheek. “I really liked that suit you picked. I’m so excited to see you wear it!”Between the two of them, he can confidently say that she’s better at styling and carrying herself regardless of what she wears. At first, he was shocked that she didn’t mind their differences in styling. But as Gwen reassured him later on, it slowly eased away.“Gimme two minutes,” he murmurs into her hair.“That’s no different than 12 o'clock.” He can’t directly see it, but he knows she’s pouting.He almost inaudibly chuckles. Gwen really loves dressing up and fashion in general. At the start of their relationship, he never knew that one person could own so many shoes. And somehow, Gwen can wear all of them and she instinctively knows where to match it.“You already saw my suit,” he jokingly counterargues.“Yes, I saw it, but I haven’t seen you wear it.” Touché. “You sometimes don’t know how handsome you are. I really wanna see it.” She pouts to convince him and for a reason he can’t explain and won’t even want to, he always caves when she does that.Blake leans in for a chaste kiss. She’s too adorable and for that, he’s eternally grateful at the timing she came into his office just now.“You can’t just kiss yourself out of this.” She pretends to be annoyed. He watches her cross her arms and look at him directly in the eye.At that, his smile breaks into a laugh. For the first time today, it felt like the tension left his body.“You’re too adorable, baby.” He murmurs as he wraps his arms around her again.“One more kiss, then we’re getting ready,” Gwen cutely bargains instead.“Yes, ma’am,” he replies before fulfilling her request.–He feels the frustration starting to mount because he can’t seem to roll up his sleeves just right. It might be the perfectionist in him. But just when he thought he got it, he realizes they either don’t look even, the other side is too crumpled, or one side is too thick and he finds it uncomfortable.Blake grunts in frustration and pulls down one side again. He’ll probably have to get the dress shirt re-ironed because of how ruffled it looks. He decides to stop it for a bit and focuses on the window of the penthouse.While it looks like a bird’s eye view of the city, he can see enough to tell how busy it is right now. And with that, he’s grateful for their decision to get ready in the penthouse instead of going to one of their houses and being stuck in traffic.He and Gwen had been here in the penthouse countless times to know that the bathroom space is big enough for her to get ready.Blake smiles as the memory of Gwen’s first time here plays in his head. It was about a week before their Oklahoma trip.
“Oh my God. Wow. It’s so beautiful up here,” she evidently swoons as she approaches the window but also hesitates due to her fear of heights.
He knows that the view from his office is one to die for, but there is something about the view from the penthouse that is much more breathtaking.
But now, he observes the woman admiring the view. Her smile. Her excitement. And he knows. It is the most breathtaking image that he wants to drill into in his brain forever.
“Had this done to go somewhere in between breaks, and if I’m not in the mood to drive home,” he sheepishly admits.
“Can’t blame you,” Gwen says as she turns around. Her smile grows even bigger when she smells the pasta cooking in the other room. “Is that?”
Blake nods as he shyly approaches her.
She wastes no time wrapping her arms around him as he kisses her.
He reaches for his pocket, wanting to give her something. “Here,” he mumbles. He hands her a copy of the penthouse key and elevator key. “If you ever want to use it for your downtime.”
Gwen is utterly shocked, but she recovers. She holds his hand containing the keys and looks up at him.
Those brown eyes gazing at him would undoubtedly get him to say yes to anything she’d say. She has no idea yet about how much he’d do for her. And being in his arms right now, it’s got him feeling content. He can’t remember how long it has been since he felt that before her.
“Only if it’s with you.” She finally says.
He slowly nods, trying to prevent himself from grinning like a giddy teenager. He knows he wouldn’t be able to control himself in this room, so he finds her hand and leads her to the kitchen.
The sound of the bathroom door opening brings him back to the present, so Blake just shifts his focus back to his sleeves. He’ll just have to try again with rolling it up.“Blake, what do you think?”As he looks up, he watches her come out in this long and sparkly dress. And as soon as he had the time to take in her whole figure, he wishes he has the words to perfectly describe her but beautiful, gorgeous, and breathtaking do not do her justice.She did her hair down, and even if he has favorite hairstyles of hers, she looks pretty regardless. She gives him a little spin of her look and her hair sways along with it. His eyes widen even more. He sees her all the time in many looks, but somehow, he still remains tongue-tied.He opens his mouth in an attempt to say something, but all he managed is a hiccup when he inhales and his heart beats faster when he realizes she’s walking towards him.“You like it?” She tries again and blushes.“You look…” He finally gets a word out but is also immediately awe-stricken when he eyes her from head-to-toe. “Wow,” he whispers.“Is it too much?” Gwen sheepishly asks.He immediately shakes his head then quickly recomposes himself. “You look perfect, pretty girl.” He couldn’t control it as his face broke into a smile. How he managed to get this woman to look at him twice, he doesn’t entirely know. But one thing's for sure, he’s really lucky.“You’re sweet, cowboy,” she replies, still blushing.“But you really are,” he tries to make his point, then he notices that she’s fixing his sleeve. He’s about to ask what she’s doing, but then he realizes she’s rolling it up just enough, like what he was attempting to do a while ago.“You look perfect too,” she says not missing a beat. He feels her kiss him on the cheek but only a light touch. He almost pouts when she beats him to it. “Don’t want the lipstick stain to be too obvious,” she giggles.“For the record,” he starts, “I’d love your lipstick stain on my cheek for the rest of the night.” And every night after that is what he doesn’t say out loud.“Smooth,” she jokes. “This okay?” She asks after a short silence, referring to his sleeves. He looks over them to see her handiwork and he’s seriously so impressed how she got it in one try.“Love ‘em. Been trying to get it right. Thank you, pretty girl.” He gently kisses the top of her head as he stands up, not wanting to mess up her hair.They work in silence as she helps him put on his suit. He watches Gwen in awe while she straightens out the soft wrinkles of his suit with her palm then fixes the collar.This is Gwen’s first gala and his first with her. Despite his overwhelming nervousness about it, he temporarily forgets them as he indulges in this moment for as long as it lasts.Barring anything else, he’s actually excited for her because she can expand her network beyond the company. And she’d get to meet so many talented people like her who also have the same passion for making their client’s dreams come to life.“You look so handsome, cowboy,” she confidently says while looking into his eyes. “I think I might have to stick by your side for the whole night,” she teases with that smirk.He doesn’t know how to respond to that and he ends up rubbing the back of his neck as he sheepishly looks at her. “No need to worry about that.” He attempts to return the banter, but it is a little shaky.That makes him a little conscious and before he could almost spiral, she adjusts his vest just a little and he decides to look into the mirror at the same time as Gwen as she checks out her handiwork.He appreciates how she kept the suit open, so his vest can be seen in all its glory. He remembers the many times she told him that she loves it when he wears vests.As if on cue, she speaks again, “Vests really look good on you.” She bites her lip then leans in to kiss him again. God. This woman. “Will wear ‘em more often for you then.” It’s the best he can come up with because she is really testing his control right now and he shyly smiles.“I think we need to start walking out of here before we make ourselves late.”He lightly giggles along with her, remembering all the times they were almost late and really late for work due to a disturbance during the morning. He follows her figure when she looks at herself in the mirror and tucks the loose hair behind her ear before looking back at him.“Let’s go?” She stretches out her hand and he holds it immediately without hesitation.He’ll always keep holding her hand, so they won’t ever be separated.–“There’s a carpet?” Gwen exclaims in shock as she takes a peek while their car is waiting in line.“Feels like an actual celebrity event.” He almost whispers his comment especially since he starts to feel a little nervous. “One little good part is you get to keep the photos for memory.”“We’d have like a picture there together?” She looks back at him in excitement.He smiles and nods. He’s not ever afraid to be seen with her. In fact, he’s actually looking forward to showing her off and he’s absolutely sure that once they’re in there, they wouldn’t stand a chance against Gwen’s charm.It’s probably the blinding camera flashes that would make him feel like he’ll trip at any second if he takes one wrong step. And there’s obviously the other thing, the one where he should be starting to get over it, but he is still nervous about too.“Wait. Who’s gonna take your car? Since we’d be going down to the carpet.”“They have people ready to park it for you.”Her disbelief has him chuckling and gets some of the tension leaving his body like it did earlier. “The current organizer always tries to outdo the previous.”“Not surprising at all,” Gwen comments. “Oh my gosh. It’s our turn.”“Be right there with you, baby,” he says as he quickly but safely gets out of the car. On cue, the valet quickly confirms his information before he gives a tip and thanks the guy.He arrives on Gwen’s side just in time and escorts her down. When he realizes it is time to walk, he and Gwen quickly exchange looks before he decides to kiss her on the cheek and offer his arm out for her to hold onto.The smile that forms on Gwen’s face is entirely worth it for all the nerves he felt days and hours prior.Gwen standing out the entire walk has him beaming with pride. He knows the photographers are enjoying taking photos of her because of how breathtaking she is.It’s also a no-brainer that Gwen has made a name for herself in this industry. She may not be the most high-profile designer in their field. But the whole line of clients who visit their office just to get a professional opinion from her is enough proof to solidify her in this field.It isn’t long until the photographers asked for solo photos of Gwen. His heart almost melted at her hesitation to be away from him and her persistence in not letting him go, but it’s also important to him that she has her moment.“Baby, I’ll be right here on the side. Don’t worry.” He reassures her. His voice is audible enough for her to hear him, but not too loud that the photographers will hear their conversation. “‘m so proud of you and so grateful you’re here with me.”“Soak it all in and I’ll be right here.” He nods, hoping to encourage her. “I love you.”“I love you.” Before he realizes it, she gives him a quick kiss before looking back at the photographers and smiling as they take their photos.He walks to the side for a bit then watches everyone be in awe of Gwen, including the people behind them in the line. He couldn’t contain his smile because he knew this moment would happen.As she’s walking back to him, his eyes remain glued to her and it made him further solidify a promise in his mind. He’ll always be by her side, no matter what.“Ready to go inside?” He whispers as she clings to his arm once again.The rest of the carpet went by like a blur and so is the walk to their table. Blake encounters lots of familiar faces and he really tries his best to respond to their greetings and quickly introduce Gwen.He knows there’s an allotted time to later to go around and chat, so at the moment, he’s determined to get them settled down at their table.Once he sees Kelly and the more familiar faces of the people he works with every day, he subtly takes a breath of relief. If it wasn’t for Gwen holding onto him, he’d probably be so overwhelmed.When they finally take their seats on the table, the flow of compliments towards Gwen are to be expected. It’s the ones directed to him that catch him off guard.“Sir Blake, you look great!” One of the managers says after passing by them to take their seat too. There were a few others that probably attempted to talk to him, but he was just nodding and trying his best to smile.“Looks like everyone agrees with me.” He redirects his attention to Gwen as he watches her scoot closer to him. “I’ve got the most handsome guy with me.”Again, he doesn’t know how to respond and he probably looks like an idiot who’s blushing, and as Gwen kisses his cheek, he swears that his rational thoughts left him for a second.The next thing that registers in his brain is Kelly talking to Gwen. “You two look so good together.” It’s what he hears from Kelly and he doesn’t catch what Gwen says in response since Luke pulls him into an ongoing conversation at their table.“Welcome to the Gala.” The host announces into the microphone, successfully grabbing everyone’s attention. “This year, we proudly call it Elevate.”As if on cue, the room erupts into an applause.
Well, it’s officially started.
He looks over to Gwen who gently squeezes his arm, probably as her way of telling him that she is okay. He adjusts his chair a bit, so she has a good view of the stage. But when she carefully pulls him closer and feels her lean on him, he feels his heart rate calm down.She may not know it, but these little things that ground him, it motivates him to regroup and focus at the moment. And with that, he redirects his attention back to the stage.He knows how these things go. There are awards given out to various firms and individuals throughout the night. It’s definitely nice to see everyone be recognized. He reminds his colleagues that the real reward is the satisfied clients. Nonetheless, he’d be the first to cheer for anyone in the company that gets recognized for the individual awards.Aside from all the formal stuff, there’s also a little dance that happens towards the end of the program. It depends on the theme, but this year it’s most likely to slow songs.The main event is actually the auction. Most, if not all, companies donate items that will be auctioned and all proceeds will go to charity like free housing, improvements for various shelters, and scholarships for those aspiring to enter their professions.As the program is ongoing, they’d sometimes roam around. He takes that opportunity to introduce Gwen to various interior designers, architects, and engineers they’d encounter when they go to the bathroom, when they’d get food, or when someone comes by their table.Like at the carpet earlier, he watches Gwen win everyone with her charm. Every time someone recognizes her, he beams with pride because they’d be so excited to meet her.“Gwen, this is Jane Prescott, one of the best architects in Washington.” The woman had stopped by their table and he’s glad that Gwen will get to meet her.“Oh my gosh. It’s so nice to meet you!” Jane expresses as she and Gwen shook hands. “I’ve been following your work.”Gwen is still getting used to hearing that part, and he almost swoons at her adorableness. “Oh um, thank you so much. I’m sorry I haven’t really been to Washington as much.”“Oh, no worries. I started from the ground up and literally got connections here in the south thanks to Mr. Blake Shelton and Shelton Enterprises.”He doesn’t mind watching their interaction unfold. He has a hunch that these two would be good friends too.“That’s amazing. I’d love to see your work whenever we’re not stuck here in galas,” Gwen says.“Please! Now, Blake, hi! What have you been up to?”He almost doesn’t catch that and thankfully, he recovers in the nick of time. “Am good. Just grateful to be here.”“Seriously, he’s one of the most humble out here,” Jane replies. He realizes that she’s sort of directing it to Gwen. “That’s rare. Did you know this guy introduced the charity component to the gala? One of the many notable contributions, to be honest. Anyways, I got to go to the pastries. It’s so nice to finally meet you, Gwen! And good to see you, Blake!”He watches the two women exchange hugs and calling cards. When Jane was out of earshot, Gwen whispers to his ear. “I’m proud of you, cowboy. You know that, right?”“Thank you, pretty girl.” He kisses her on the forehead and seeks comfort in her presence. “You’re having a good time?”When he sees her nod, Blake relaxes after that.The next few bits of the gala passed by like a blur again. He forgot that there are some talks and other event stuff that happen in between, but it was finally time for the auction.Aside from companies in their industry, they also invite various businessmen and other people who would be interested in auctioning some items or participating in the actual thing.He isn’t entirely paying attention. “Sold for 100,000 dollars!” It’s the next thing he hears. “Let’s meet our donor. Hi, Sir. What’s your name?”“Richard.” He recognizes that voice that he immediately focuses on the figure onstage. He might just be imagining things. He hasn’t seen the man in years, but he holds on to the last bit of hope that it isn’t him.“Richard Shelton.”Blake freezes at the mention of the name. His heart is now racing and he’s starting to feel the tension mounting on his shoulders. But he does his best to keep a neutral face to hide whatever this feeling was.Almost as if he’s being watched, he attempts to straighten his back as he slowly swallows the lump that forms in his throat.“Like Shelton Enterprises?” He almost barely hears, but the disbelief in the host's voice is undeniable.Suddenly, he feels like he’s short of breath. The way his chest rises and deflates feels a little harsher. I’m okay, right?He keeps himself still. Afraid that if he moves, something is going to happen, but he also wants to peel his eyes away from the stage yet he can’t do it.That didn’t seem to help at all as he heard that voice again. “Sort of. It’s a coincidence, but I don’t work there or own anything. Just want to help tonight.”At that, Blake finally finds the courage to look away. He controls himself to the best of his abilities, not wanting to lose it in front of his coworkers even though they’ve witnessed lots of moments in the office already.As the memory of his last outburst in the office when the lawyer visited him plays in his head, it takes all of his energy not to elicit a sour expression on his face. That reminder solidifies his willingness not to definitely lose it in front of hundreds of others.His chest starts to tighten, and now it feels like he can’t breathe. He panics, not knowing how to subtly handle this. His vision isn’t helping him either, like it’s blurring. He can’t see anything clearly. He can’t move. He hopes he’s not drawing any attention.“Blake?” He recognizes that sweet voice. It was Gwen. He can’t register anything else she’s trying to ask or say or if she’s even doing that. He just tries to remember which side she was sitting on, so he could look that way and search for her hand. Luckily, Gwen doesn’t seem to make it too hard for him because he instantly recognizes her soft palm.
Don’t leave me.
He’s afraid to squeeze it because it might end up being too tight. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but he tries to focus on her palm, holding onto her, and locking his fingers with hers.
I hope you’re still here.
He isn’t focused anymore on what was being auctioned. He hears that name again and only that. He thought he’s making things up but when the word dollars registers, it’s probably another donation. Still, he attempts to block it out.Blake is determined to get his bearings back, but he develops an extreme confusion when he feels his throat tighten and the tears start welling up in his eyes.He panics even further because when he thought he’s gaining control, it’s slipping away from him again. He can only hear in patches and his sight isn’t going back to normal. His head spins for a reason he can’t explain and he doesn’t know what’s going on anymore. He can’t make out any other voices aside from the muffled one of the host’s and a feminine “Blake?” which is most likely Gwen’s.That thought is enough motivation for him, so he has to do something before he completely spirals.He didn’t intend to, but he ends up squeezing what he hopes to be Gwen’s hands a bit tight and stops moving his head around when he realizes he was moving it. He hopes that he doesn’t look like he’s lost. He doesn’t even know he was doing that in the first place. Get it together. At that, Blake tries to breathe. His inhale is shaky, but he tries again. He feels a sharp pain and the panic mounts again. Shit. He recalls that their table is at the side and in the middle, so he reminds himself of the fact that no one is directly paying attention to them. Even if that’s not entirely true, it’s what he tries to emphasize in his brain.Then, he exhales. Where’s Gwen? It’s still shaky, but he gets by. He squeezes what he believes to be Gwen’s hand again. Baby? And after a few attempts, when he let out the first stable breath, he searches for Gwen’s voice. He wants only that. Pretty girl?
I’m okay. Blake, please get it together.
Inhale. Squeeze. Exhale.He repeats that process even if it takes a while. But when he clearly hears “It’s okay. You’re okay,” in her tone, he focuses his vision on what could be her blonde hair.“Hey.” Gwen softly speaks after minutes of silence. Blake almost tears up when he realizes he can finally see her, hear her, and feel her clearly. Hi, baby. He doesn’t even try to respond because his next inhale gets shaky again. He doesn’t trust his voice.Blake then looks around. He realizes they’re in the bathroom. He lets his eyes roam around to check for anyone else that could be here, but to his relief, it’s just them.Gwen seems to read his mind. “I sneaked us out. Don’t worry. I had help from Kelly.”He believes that. Kelly could yap herself out of anything. It’s honestly some sort of special skill.He slowly nods to acknowledge Gwen because he doesn’t want her to think that he doesn’t appreciate all she’s doing for him today. It’s everything. He focuses on the hands that are rubbing his arms. She always has cold hands, but he loves feeling them regardless.Blake doesn’t understand what happened. He must’ve been on autopilot or something because he didn’t know how he got his legs walking and how he got to follow Gwen to the bathroom.He then gently pulls her in for a hug, carefully nuzzling his nose onto her hair and focusing on the scent of the shampoo she used this morning.He tries to actively inhale and exhale with normal intervals and looks at various details of the bathroom floor to keep his mind in the present and nowhere else but here.“‘m sorry.” It’s the first word he speaks since who knows when, but it’s barely a whisper and his voice lightly cracks. At that, he tears up.“Don’t apologize. It’s okay. You’re okay.” She reassures and his heart momentarily thumped. He then feels his chest tighten. No. No. No. He becomes aware of his breathing again and wills the tears not to fall down.He repeats Gwen’s words in hopes of making it more true. “We’re okay.” He swallows roughly after that.“We’re okay,” he repeats but softer.Gwen hums. “I’m here. Not going anywhere.”That’s when he noticed that he’s being swayed. He then nuzzles his face onto Gwen’s shoulder. Then he suddenly becomes conscious and slowly pulls away, afraid that he’s being too clingy.“No,” she gently says and brings him back closer to her. He almost felt like getting swooped off the floor due to his shock. “I like it when you’re close, when you hold me.”He replays those words over and over and over to kick out the thought in his brain that he’s being too needy. It proves to be successful when he finally lets himself melt into Gwen’s hold.Blake exhales again and focuses on letting his shoulders fully relax. He gives himself a few tries before pulling his face away to look at her.He’s met with her gaze. The sight now clear and, honestly, beautiful. He’d search for those brown eyes anywhere. He’s seen them countless times but marvels in their beauty and the way they capture Gwen’s emotions perfectly.He knows she’s worried, but there’s a small bit of relief on her face. He has a little idea as to why, but he doesn’t utter a word out. He just keeps holding her, holding onto her.He doesn’t know when she started it, but she keeps her gaze locked on him and starts actively breathing. Her nod signals him to mimic her and he does so without so much as a question.After what felt like a few minutes, he feels her cup his cheek. He leans onto her hand, recognizing its softness from when he reached for it a while ago. Thank you, God. “I’m okay. We’re okay.” He finally murmurs, feeling a little emotional when he realizes she doesn’t let go.“‘m sorry,” he says again. He promised he’d keep himself in check, but that doesn’t seem to be working out tonight. The evening has barely started.“I’m not looking for an apology,” Gwen replies. He notices the way her hand slowly climbs up to his hair to caress it. “I just want you to be okay and to be safe with me. You are safe with me.”For a reason he doesn’t know, he tears up again. That seems to disarm him and it meant everything. Regardless of the circumstances, she’s here and will always be here, as long as he holds onto her.He doesn’t want to run. He feels scared out of his mind right now, but he won’t ever run.“‘m so glad you’re here,” he whispers. With a bit of a risk, he kisses the top of her head. When Gwen leans further into his touch, he’s hit with large amounts of relief. “I love you.” He’s at a loss for words at the moment. He hopes she knows how much this means to him.“I love you.” He feels her shift as she says that. He’s once again met with her gaze. Those eyes locking with his. He keeps his full attention on her and watches as she leans in then gives him the softest kiss.They stay in each other’s arms for a good while. He hears the clock ticking in the bathroom and he suddenly becomes conscious of how long they’ve been in here.When another thought hits him, he also speaks it out loud on reflex.“We have to go back out,” he says a bit worried.“No pressure. The auction is still ongoing. The people’s attention will be on that,” Gwen reassures, using one of her hands to lock with his.He doesn’t know how else to express his gratitude for her patience, so he brings their intertwined fingers near his mouth and lands a soft kiss on Gwen’s hand.“We’ll stand here until you want to and you’re ready to go back out,” Gwen says, emphasizing that he has full control of this moment. He doesn’t know what to do with that information, and his brain momentarily forgets what to do.“We can also go home,” Gwen presents softly.Blake instantly shakes his head, not even thinking about it. “No. It’s okay.” Even he surprised himself that he got to utter that out with conviction.“I want you to enjoy this gala I promise.” His tone sort of falters and he does his best to ignore it. “There’s so many opportunities for you to network here. I want you to have that.”And it’s true. He doesn’t want to ruin this for her. He already feels insurmountable amounts of guilt that he can’t keep it together. He literally promised her yesterday.“Blake, you’ve given me so much already just by being here and being so supportive of me.” He feels her cup his cheeks with both of her hands. He keeps his focus on her and continues to breathe slowly to hopefully keep himself calm.Before she could speak anything else, he beats her to it. “I’ll do my best to be okay.”It doesn’t sound promising compared to how he was earlier this evening, but he at least owes it to her to try.“You don’t owe anyone that, even me,” Gwen says firmly. The determination in her tone convinces his brain enough to shut off and listen. “As long as you talk to me, that’s all that matters. Use me. Hold onto me. I got you like you’ve got me.”He nods, trying to take in her words.“That means the world to me,” he responds softly after a few moments of silence.He knows the importance of saying it. He knows Gwen doesn’t obligate him to reassure her, but this has saved him so many times. She deserves to know that her presence is always wanted and that her love is and will always be appreciated.It’s not easy being there for someone, especially given his history of screwing up with her, so he doesn’t take her efforts lightly.He lets their love bind them together, hoping that the foundations that they’re trying to build so far suffice to remind them that they’ll get through anything as long as they’re together.“I’m ready,” he nervously says, trying to convince himself.“I’ll be right here. We’re right here.” Gwen emphasizes, as if it’s not only her but his peers at work have his back too.He kisses her on the forehead one more time before mustering the courage to walk back out.