Work Text
Prologue
Grimmauld Place – 2nd May 2000
Ellie knew that what she was about to do was probably the craziest, most foolish thing she had ever done and if Snape was there, he would tell her exactly that but that was the point, wasn't it? He wasn't. Snape was dead like countless others. She wasn't naive enough to think that she could save everybody by doing this but she hoped that by killing Voldemort before Ellie – or rather, the child who would be in her place – was even born, a lot of people's lives would be spared. And yet, that wasn't the main reason she was doing this.She was doing this for Severus Snape. Maybe it was because she was feeling guilty for what had happened to him, because she hadn't been able to save him, because she hadn't realized until after it was too late that Snape had been on their - her - side all along. Or maybe because she simply didn't find it fair that, after everything that Snape had been through all his life, all he had received in return was a painful, pointless death.Or maybe because in hindsight, she should have realized that her obsession with the Half-Blood Prince wasn't exactly normal. She didn't know what she felt for him, exactly, but she knew she felt something. Perhaps she hadn't been physically attracted to him – or she had never bothered to think about it before because there were so many other feelings taking precedence (hatred and disdain most of all), that she hadn't realized what she was feeling until it was too late. But she knew she had been attracted to his mind.Snape had been so smart, going as far as inventing his own spells and improving the potions' recipes in his sixth year, maybe even before that. Before finding out about the Half-Blood Prince book, she had thought Hermione was the smartest person she knew, but Snape was on another level entirely. And he had been so brave. He had been without doubt the bravest person she had ever known.Of course, by going back in the past, she didn't actually expect for anything romantic to happen between them. Severus had been in love with her mother after all. And Ellie wasn't even actually sure if what she was feeling was actually romantic in nature or simply respect and admiration. But whatever it was, it had become an obsession.It had started small. She would spend hours re-watching the memories Snape had left her. But once she returned at Hogwarts for her eighth year, so that she could take her NEWTS, she noticed the changes in herself. The sudden drive to learn, to know everything. She started to study obsessively, much more than Hermione, brewing and then taking Wit-Sharpening Potions, Memory Potions and Wideye Potions to improve her memory and her concentration and to stay awake for days on end just so she could continue studying. Potions, Defense and the Dark Arts most of all, but not only that – Charms, Transfiguration and Herbology as well (the last one because it went hand in hand with Potions).She decided that she wanted to create her own spells, but to do that, she needed to know Arithmancy and Ancient Runes (nobody had ever told her that before, though she had never bothered to ask either), so she started to study them as well. She took her OWLs for these two subjects during the winter holidays so that she could take all her NEWTs together. And she got Os in all subjects this time. Applying herself in her studies had certainly made a huge difference, but it was more than that. After the horcrux inside her had been destroyed, her magic – perhaps no longer bound by the need to restrain the influence of said piece of Voldemort's soul over her own – had increased tenfold. Executing spells now felt as easy as breathing.After leaving Hogwarts, she basically locked herself up in Grimmauld Place, avoiding all contacts with her friends, just dedicating days and nights to research – creating her own spells and potions, just so she could feel somewhat closer to him.That was the main reason why he was now in the library of Grimmauld Place, about to try a dark ritual that might have disastrous consequences if anything should go wrong. She couldn't let him go. And maybe she was being stupid and naïve and sentimental and arrogant but she felt like it was fate that she found this particular ritual in the Black Family Library. And now that she had found it, she couldn't ignore it. She had to try. And she had no intention of letting Hermione or anyone else talk her out of it.Today was the second anniversary of his death. It felt appropriate that, if she meant to do this, that she would do it today. The ritual she had found was almost perfect, nothing like a Time Turner and no risk to create paradoxes. That was because, even if Harry Potter would be born again by James and Lily Potter the 31st of July 1980, she would still continue to exist because, for all intents and purposes, she would be another person entirely. She would retain all her old memories and her awareness of herself but she would have a new identity, one she would choose herself. But while she would retain her old memories, she would also gain the memories of the person she would become – the person whose background she would create herself. Even if she wouldn't stay herself completely, she would at least remember who she used to be and what she was supposed to change – at least that was how it was supposed to work. She would cease to be 'Harry Potter' as she was now but, at least, she wouldn't completely cease to exist.Perhaps if Snape knew that she didn't really mean to go back in time, but more like jump into another world, – just 24 years earlier than her present time – not risking to destroy the very fabric of time by changing her own timeline, he would forgive her – but most probably not. He would call her arrogant and self-centered and foolish and perhaps he would be right. But it didn't matter. She was determined.She intended on appearing in 1975, when Snape, her parents, Sirius and Remus would still be in their fifth year at Hogwarts. She could start Hogwarts as a fifth year as well. She could take her OWLs and also stop what happened between Severus, the Marauders and Lily after the OWLs. There was a forbidden ritual that would help her establish her place in this new world, creating a history and an identity for her where there would have been none otherwise. It wasn't difficult either, she only needed to write on a piece of paper and bring it with her once she would cross the portal. Of course, both paper and pen would be spelled beforehand and the paper would disappear once she was in the new world. The really complicated thing was finding a background history for her that would be believable and that would allow her to keep her bloodline, her half-blood status, explain her parseltongue ability and keep her abusive muggle upbringing (not something she particularly wanted but it was a communality she had with Snape that she didn't want to lose – she was one of the few people who could understand Snape in that way, something that her mother, with muggle parents that loved her and that had accepted her as a witch, could never understand).Fortunately, the solution appeared in front of her one day while observing the Black family tapestry. There was a Charlus Potter who had married Dorea Black and together they had one son. After some research and Gringott's records she had been able to find out that Charlus had been Fleamont Potter's first cousin – son of her great-grandfather Henry Potter's younger brother, Matheus – and he had been sorted into Slytherin with Dorea – something that had surprised her since she was led to believe that all Potters had been sorted into Gryffindor.The son, Hardwin, had gone to Hogwarts as well but he had been sorted into Ravenclaw and met his future wife Maia, a witch whose mother had been descended from a disinherited squib from the Gaunt family and whose father was a muggle; she too had been sorted into Ravenclaw. They had both died childless in 1961 due to a Potion accident (they had been Potion inventors) – while Charlus and Dorea Potter had died in 1959* from Dragon Pox. Becoming their only daughter would be the perfect solution.Naturally, she decided on 1960 as the year of her birth, deciding to keep 31st of July as the date of her birth, so she would be in the same year as Severus and her parents.Everything that she could carry would appear in the other world too, therefore she decided on the mokeskin pouch Hagrid gave her for her seventeenth birthday, big enough to bring everything she needed with her, putting everything inside her five-compartment trunk and the trunk inside the pouch.She probably shouldn't bring her wand, map or invisibility cloak with her, but she couldn't stand the idea of leaving them behind. She filled the pouch with all the money she owned (emptying her vaults at Gringotts), and with the all the books she owned, those who came from the Room of Requirements, and all the books from the Black Library. She also made sure to pack a few vials of Polyjuice potion to be able to move around Diagon Alley freely even before receiving her Hogwarts letter.The only thing left to do was for her to spell the mirror that she would use as a portal for the other world. It had been a tedious job, carving all the runes needed but after days it was finally ready.After a rotating movement of her wand and a muttered spell the mirror in front of her started to glow, obvious sign that the ritual had worked. She shrunk her trunk, put the spelled paper in her pocket and in a single step she was walking through the mirror. Her eyes closed, she let herself fall.
*In canon Dorea dies in 1977, but for the sake of this story, both Charlus and Dorea died in 1959.